Session 7 > Genesis 33:1-15 Reconciled Reconciled relationships are a blessing from God, with the greatest blessing being a restored relationship with Him. The parable of the prodigal son stands as one of most familiar and best loved of Jesus parables. It emphasizes the high value God places on forgiving sinners and restoring them to His family. In the parable (Luke 15:11-32), Jesus told the story of a father with two sons. In a move of gross rebellion, the younger son demanded that his father give him then and there the assets he would normally receive at his father s death. The father relented and divided the sons inheritances. The younger son took his money and went to a faraway place, where he foolishly squandered the money through sinful living. In short order the younger son found himself feeding a man s pigs for work and craving the pigs food. Finally, the younger son came to his senses and headed home, hoping simply to work as one of his father s servants. The father saw his younger son approaching and ran to meet him. The father embraced his repentant son and welcomed him back into the family with a great celebration. What an amazing story of reconciliation! In Genesis 32:24-32, we learned how the Lord confronted Jacob in an all-night wrestling match at the Jabbok River. In the midst of the struggle, Jacob realized that he could not go on without the Lord s blessing. Nothing mattered more than that blessing; nothing else he had attained had any real purpose without it. In an act of pure grace, God gave Jacob the blessing he craved. In this session, based on Genesis 33:1-15, Jacob now moved to reconcile with his brother Esau, from whom he had stolen a family birthright and blessing twenty years earlier. Reconciliation involves risk. Asking for forgiveness involves humbling ourselves before those we have wronged. Nonetheless, reconciliation plays an important role in spiritual growth. As we study this Bible passage, ask God to bring to your mind the names of individuals with whom you might need to reconcile. Seek God s wisdom to know how best to approach these people. Pray for His grace in taking the first step in healing relationships. Above all, pray that the Lord will receive the honor and glory throughout the entire process. Reconciled relationships are a blessing from and to God! 70 Explore the Bible
UNDERSTAND THE CONTEXT GENESIS 33:1-20 Having rejoined his family after a night of struggle and blessing, Jacob saw Esau and four hundred men approaching the camp (33:1). Jacob quickly organized his children with their respective mothers (33:1-2). However, this time he put himself out front and walked forward alone to meet his brother, bowing seven times as Esau approached (33:3). In contrast to what Jacob might have expected, the two brothers greeted each other with a warm, welcoming, tearful embrace (33:4). Jacob then introduced the family God had given him over the past twenty years (33:5-7). Moreover, Jacob explained that he had sent ahead the several herds of domesticated animals as a gift to his brother. Esau initially protested that he didn t require such a gift from his brother, but Jacob persuaded Esau to accept it as a sign of God s blessing (33:8-11). Esau volunteered to escort Jacob s household as they proceeded toward the promised land. Jacob concluded, however, that Esau wanted Jacob s family to travel to Seir (the land of Edom) so that the two families could live there together. He convinced Esau to return to Seir ahead of them while he and his household traveled at a slower pace for the benefit of the children and livestock (33:12-15). Esau finally agreed to Jacob s proposal to separate. Esau and his men returned to Seir. Instead of following his brother southward, however, Jacob took his family westward into the heart of the promised land. They settled near Shechem, where Jacob purchased a piece of land as a home site. He also built an altar there, calling it God, the God of Israel (33:16-20). EXPLORE THE TEXT PUT ASIDE YOUR PRIDE (Gen. 33:1-4) VERSES 1-2 Now Jacob looked up and saw Esau coming toward him with four hundred men. So he divided the children among Leah, Rachel, and the two slave women. The Hebrew term rendered now ( behold, KJV; ESV) signals a dramatic moment in the narrative. The moment of truth arrived as Jacob looked up ( lifted up his eyes, KJV; ESV) and saw Esau coming toward him. We do Session 7: Reconciled 71
not know whether Jacob and his family had started on the day s journey or were still encamped. Regardless, he knew that an encounter with his brother was now unavoidable. Jacob s servants had previously reported that Esau had a band of four hundred men with him (Gen. 32:6). However, seeing this sizable force steadily approach his family no doubt raised Jacob s anxiety. Was Esau coming in peace, or was he about to carry out his long-held grudge to kill his brother Jacob (27:41)? At this point, Jacob could only trust that God would grant his plea to be rescued from his brother s revenge (32:11). When Jacob first learned that Esau was coming to meet him, he divided his household into two separate camps, thinking that if Esau attacked one camp during the night then the other group might be able to escape (32:7-8). Jacob evidently had reunited the two camps the following day prior to Esau s appearance. On seeing his brother approaching, however, Jacob organized his family again, grouping the children respectively with the four women who had given birth to them Leah, Rachel, and the two slave women. VERSE 2 He put the slaves and their children first, Leah and her children next, and Rachel and Joseph last. Jacob organized his household by putting the slaves and their children first. The first group thus included Bilhah (Rachel s maidservant) and her sons, Dan and Naphtali, along with Zilpah (Leah s maidservant) and her sons, Gad and Asher. Next came the group consisting of Leah and her children (Reuben, Simeon, Levi, Judah, Issachar, Zebulun, and Dinah). In the final group, Jacob put Rachel and her son Joseph. Rachel s second son (Jacob s twelfth), Benjamin, was not born until later. Rachel died while giving birth to Benjamin (35:16-19). Bible scholars have debated Jacob s rationale for placing the mothers and children in the order that he did. Obviously the order was not based on the children s ages. Although Joseph in the final group was indeed Jacob s youngest son at the time, Jacob s oldest four sons were borne to Leah, who occupied the middle group. One proposal suggests that Jacob organized his family on the basis of survival preference. That is, he wanted to place his beloved wife, Rachel, and her son farthest away from any frontal attack that might ensue. Leah and her children would be the next farthest away, and the two maidservants with their children would unfortunately be the first ones after Jacob to suffer any attack. Whatever the case, Jacob s actions in verses 1-2 illustrate the kind of anxiety that often accompanies a decision to seek reconciliation. Efforts toward reconciliation can be difficult when fears of the unknown arise. 72 Explore the Bible
VERSE 3 He himself went on ahead and bowed to the ground seven times until he approached his brother. Showing courage as well as trust in the Lord, Jacob went on ahead of his household. He also showed great humility as he bowed to the ground seven times while approaching his brother. Jacob had previously sent Esau a generous peace gift of animals (32:14-15). The act of bowing in deference to another individual, especially a ruler or other dignitary, is an ancient practice in Near Eastern cultures. Jacob signified that he was humbling himself before the brother he had wronged twenty years earlier. The significance of bowing seven times in succession as he approached his brother showed that Jacob was a changed man. He was no longer the haughty deceiver; he was Israel, the man whose life and future were in the Lord s hands. VERSE 4 But Esau ran to meet him, hugged him, threw his arms around him, and kissed him. Then they wept. Esau ran to meet Jacob, an action that indicates he also was eager to experience reconciliation. Jacob s actions moved him, and Esau responded with heartfelt affection. The grudge was dead. A lost brother was alive and had come home. The phrase rendered threw his arms around him literally is fell on his neck. The expression highlights the brothers joyful release of emotion as they hugged and kissed. The practice of men greeting other men by kissing each other s cheeks is common in many cultures to this day. Another piece of evidence that Jacob and Esau s reunion would end happily came as they wept. No doubt their tears were sobs of both sorrow and joy sorrow for twenty years of alienation and bitterness, and joy for the streams of forgiveness and peace that now swept over them. These verses remind us of several key truths about mending broken relationships. First, seeking (or giving) forgiveness and reconciliation takes courage, humility, and trust in the Lord. Second, when one person in a damaged relationship takes a first step in seeking to reconcile, that individual may find that the other person is just as eager to restore the relationship. Third, successful efforts to mend a damaged relationship may unleash pent-up emotions on both sides. Jacob faced his meeting with Esau with great apprehension; yet, Esau s warm reception and embrace brought relief, then tears. God s power brought about reconciliation between these two estranged brothers. God s power can do the same for people today. Session 7: Reconciled 73
EXPLORE FURTHER Read the article titled Forgiveness on pages 589 590 in the Holman Illustrated Bible Dictionary, Revised and Expanded. Do you think there can be reconciliation without forgiveness? Explain. Can there be forgiveness without reconciliation? Explain your responses. BE GENUINE (Gen. 33:5-11) VERSE 5 When Esau looked up and saw the women and children, he asked, Who are these with you? He answered, The children God has graciously given your servant. Up to this point, Esau had focused his attention on Jacob. Now as he relinquished his embrace, Esau looked up and saw the women and children who accompanied his brother. His question who are these with you gave Jacob the opportunity to speak about God s grace. He had left the land of Canaan fearful and alone; he was returning with a large family, servants, and bountiful herds. Notice the words God has graciously given. Jacob looked on his children as gifts from God. In future years, these same children and their offspring would bring Jacob much joy but also times of heartache. In a similar way, raising children in today s world can include both joys and sorrows. Nevertheless, we as parents should never forget that children are blessings from God (Ps. 127:3). The Bible calls on parents to love their children, to train them in the ways of God, and to lead them to Christ (Deut. 6:6-7; Eph. 6:4). Jacob also described himself as Esau s servant. By doing so, Jacob again showed humility. He was willing to humble himself before Esau to advance the reconciliation process. Of course, God s covenant purpose remained on Jacob (Gen. 27:27-29; 28:13-15). That purpose included Jacob s being designated for the covenant blessing even before the two brothers were born (25:23). Still, God s purpose also included Esau and Jacob s reconciliation. VERSE 6 Then the slaves and their children approached him and bowed down. 74 Explore the Bible
Jacob s family had watched as Jacob humbled himself before Esau and reconciled with his brother. It was now appropriate for Jacob s family members to show honor to Esau. They did so in the order Jacob had arranged them. First came the two maidservants (slaves) Bilhah and Zilpah and their children. The group approached Esau and respectfully bowed down. VERSE 7 Leah and her children also approached and bowed down, and then Joseph and Rachel approached and bowed down. Next, Leah and her children also approached and bowed down. As a daughter of Laban (Esau s uncle), Leah was a relative of Esau. On this their first meeting, however, Leah presented herself and her children to Esau as part of Jacob s household. The same was true for Rachel, who came forward next with her son Joseph and bowed down. Interestingly, the biblical writer listed Joseph before his mother in this verse (compare 33:2). One view regarding this detail is that the biblical writer was pointing to the significant role Joseph would soon play in the family s ongoing history (Gen. 37 50). God s Word places a high priority on family relationships. Several years ago, a business trip took me to Minnesota, the state where I was born. One of my uncles picked me up at the airport and drove me to Rochester, my childhood hometown. There I reconnected with family members I hadn t seen in years, and I also met a number of relatives for the first time. The experience reminded me that God s purposes far exceed what I am able to see. God wants families to build good, lasting relationships. Moreover, He desires for believers to establish enduring spiritual relationships. As we do, we fulfill the prayer Jesus prayed for us in John 17:20-21. VERSE 8 So Esau said, What do you mean by this whole procession I met? To find favor with you, my lord, he answered. Having reconciled with Jacob and met his family, Esau asked for clarification regarding the whole procession ( all this drove, KJV; all this company, ESV; all these flocks and herds, NIV) of animals Jacob had sent prior to their meeting. Jacob had previously dispatched messengers to find Esau in Seir and inform him of Jacob s return and desire to seek Esau s favor (32:4-5). Further, after hearing that Esau and four hundred men were already on their way to meet him, Jacob divided his herds and instructed his servants to tell Esau the animals were a gift from his brother Jacob (32:17-20). Possibly the servants never got the opportunity to relay the message to Esau. Or perhaps Esau simply wanted to confirm the gift s motive by hearing Session 7: Reconciled 75
the message from Jacob himself. Whatever the case, Jacob assured Esau that the animals were a gift designed to help bring healing to their damaged relationship. The Hebrew phrase rendered to find favor can also be translated to attain to grace. In effect, Jacob admitted that he had wronged his brother twenty years earlier and that he did not deserve Esau s forgiveness. Further, while Jacob intended the animals as an appeasement gift to Esau, he realized that genuine reconciliation cannot be purchased with money or livestock. What Jacob needed and what he sought was grace. Jacob s desire for grace foreshadowed our own need for grace in being reconciled to God. Because of our sins, we all are estranged from God. As unrepentant sinners, we are enemies of God. We neither deserve nor can we buy His forgiveness. But the amazing story of the gospel is that God loves us in spite of our sinfulness. He took the initiative in giving grace by sending Jesus Christ into the world as the Savior. Such divine love prompted the apostle Paul to write, For you are saved by grace through faith, and this is not from yourselves: it is God s gift (Eph. 2:8). VERSE 9 I have enough, my brother, Esau replied. Keep what you have. We should not understand Esau s refusal of Jacob s gift as either pride or ingratitude. Rather, the words I have enough appear to be Esau s testimony that he too had prospered over the past twenty years. Further, Esau addressed Jacob as his brother. Although they had been estranged for years, their reconciliation was genuine. VERSE 10 But Jacob said, No, please! If I have found favor with you, take this gift from me. For indeed, I have seen your face, and it is like seeing God s face, since you have accepted me. Despite Esau s initial refusal, Jacob urged his brother to accept the gift of livestock as a tangible testimony of their restored relationship. The Hebrew word rendered please ( I pray thee, KJV) is a particle of entreaty that expresses strong emotion. Jacob wanted to be certain that he had found favor with his brother. The expression I have seen your face, and it is like seeing God s face probably denotes a look of genuine forgiveness that Jacob recognized on Esau s face. What relief and joy both brothers must have felt as they looked at each other! The words you have accepted me indicate Jacob s deep gratitude for Esau s willingness to reconcile. 76 Explore the Bible
VERSE 11 Please take my present that was brought to you, because God has been gracious to me and I have everything I need. So Jacob urged him until he accepted. Jacob s repeated urging for Esau to accept the present ( blessing, KJV; ESV) was spoken with great emotion and entreaty. Jacob intended the gift as an expression of love to Esau, but he also meant it as an expression of gratitude to the Lord. The Hebrew word translated present also can mean blessing. The Lord had blessed Jacob with great abundance, and Jacob affirmed that truth. God also had blessed Jacob by bringing about reconciliation between the two brothers. The Hebrew word rendered urged literally means pressed against. Jacob continued to press Esau to accept his gift. Finally, as a gesture of good will, Esau accepted the gift. The acceptance cemented their reconciliation. Genuine reconciliation can occur only when both parties are willing to reconcile. EXPLORE FURTHER Read the article titled Gift, Giving on page 643 in the Holman Illustrated Bible Dictionary, Revised and Expanded. How can giving gifts be a special part of God s plan today? What kind of gifts does God give His people? AGREE ON LIMITS (Gen. 33:12-15) VERSE 12 Then Esau said, Let s move on, and I ll go ahead of you. Esau s recommendation to move on indicated his desire that the two groups travel together. Doing so would ensure not only greater safety but also provide further opportunities for the brothers to talk and rebuild their family bond. Esau s willingness to go ahead of Jacob s family likely suggested to Jacob that Esau intended for his brother to settle alongside him in Seir (see 33:14). That plan, however, was not in line with God s purpose for Jacob. VERSE 13 Jacob replied, My lord knows that the children are weak, and I have nursing flocks and herds. If they are driven hard for one day, the whole herd will die. Session 7: Reconciled 77
Jacob s language in this verse suggests that he was trying to find a gracious way to refuse Esau s offer. Perhaps Jacob still felt some tension in their relationship in spite of their reconciliation. Indeed, sometimes the healing of a broken relationship requires time to rebuild trust. Of course, the pursuit of healing is still important. Jacob first appealed to the frailty of the children and the fact that some of the animals were nursing their young. For these reasons, Jacob s household would need to travel at a slower pace than Esau s band of men. In a rugged, semiarid region, pushing the livestock hard for one day might prove catastrophic. Jacob warned that his whole herd could die. VERSE 14 Let my lord go ahead of his servant. I will continue on slowly, at a pace suited to the livestock and the children, until I come to my lord at Seir. Continuing his effort to graciously refuse Esau s plan, Jacob proposed that Esau and his men should go ahead while Jacob s household would continue on slowly, at a pace suited to the livestock and the children. Jacob did not want to lose his livelihood or any family members by pushing them too hard on the journey. The phrase until I come to my lord at Seir raises a question for the interpreter. Did Jacob truly intend to follow Esau to Seir, or were these words part of his effort to find a gentle way to refuse his brother s recommendation? Whatever the case, the biblical text reveals in 33:16-18 that as soon as Esau and his men headed south for Seir, Jacob led his family a few miles north to Succoth and then westward across the Jordan River to Shechem. VERSE 15 Esau said, Let me leave some of my people with you. But he replied, Why do that? Please indulge me, my lord. Esau offered Jacob and his family assistance: let me leave some of my people with you. Perhaps Esau observed Jacob s hesitancy but wanted to offer further hospitality to his brother anyway. The back-and-forth style of negotiation between Jacob and Esau was typical practice in ancient Near Eastern cultures. Jacob s response why do that was not so much a question as a statement. Jacob was implying that he did not need Esau to extend further hospitality and assistance. His petition please indulge me, my lord literally is let me find favor in the sight of my lord. Jacob s words comprised a gentle request 78 Explore the Bible
to allow him the freedom to come at his own rate without further assistance from Esau s men. The exchange between Jacob and Esau was congenial. Esau offered assistance; Jacob politely declined. In the end, the two brothers parted ways on good terms, knowing that God had shown His grace to both of them. They would reunite again later when they buried their father (Gen. 35:27-29). After twenty years of separation, Jacob and Esau reconciled and reestablished their relationship. The account of Jacob s reconciliation with Esau forms the backdrop for several important lessons on reconciliation. First, reconciliation is worth seeking. As Jacob returned from Haran, he sought out his brother Esau in order to end the alienation and bitterness that characterized their separation twenty years earlier. Jacob found that his brother was as eager to reconcile as he was. God s grace was able to heal. Second, seeking reconciliation involves taking risks and demonstrating humility. Jacob became fearful when he heard that Esau was approaching with four hundred men. Jacob offered his brother a peace gift. Further, he approached his brother respectfully, bowing seven times, and spoke humble, respectful words. Third, reconciliation may take time to complete. Esau and Jacob appeared to reconcile fairly quickly, although some tension may have remained between them. Likewise today, the process of healing a broken relationship completely may require months, even years. When that happens, we need to remember that God s grace endures over time to produce the results He wants. Fourth, God has accomplished ultimate reconciliation. He offers this reconciliation to sinners through Jesus death on the cross (2 Cor. 5:18-19). Although we as human beings have deeply offended God by our sin, God sent His Son to show His love and to pay sin s price (Rom. 5:8). Through faith in Christ, we stand reconciled to God forever (Rom. 5:1-2). Fifth, God calls us to be ready to reconcile with one another. God s love to us through Jesus Christ provides the ultimate example for us to follow, and as we experience God s reconciling love to us through the Lord Jesus, a spirit of gratitude should motivate us to reach out to those we have wronged or who have wronged us (1 John 3:10-11). As we do, we will experience the joy that real reconciliation brings. EXPLORE FURTHER Read the article titled Hospitality on pages 771 772 in the Holman Illustrated Bible Dictionary, Revised and Expanded. Note that biblical hospitality often involved a dimension that modern hospitality does not. How can Christians today use hospitality as a way of serving Christ? Session 7: Reconciled 79