Funeral Homily for Marilyn June (Franck) Schrader (given by her son, Fr. Robert J. Schrader, on Saturday, August 20, 2016 at 10:00 A.M. at Blessed Sacrament Church, 534 Oxford Street in Rochester, New York 14607) On behalf of my family and me, I welcome you all to this liturgical celebration of the completion of Mom s life among us. It is our hope that the readings to which we have just listened 1 have reflected Mom s own spiritual life and remind us all of the beautiful qualities which were hers. My childhood neighbor and lifelong friend, John Andres who greets many of us early Sunday mornings with his showcase of classical music on WXXI-FM read our first reading from the Book of Wisdom. (He and Deb Bolcko who helped with the placing of the pall today were both next-door neighbors to us on Nelson Street.) Many of you may remember how this passage from Wisdom used to be just about the only First Reading at funerals in years gone by as it was the one printed in the early congregation funeral booklets when English first came into use in our liturgies. With more choices these days, it often falls back in the pack. However, I couldn t help but feel how, for Mom, it is most appropriate. The souls of the just are in the hand of God, and no torment shall touch them. With the downturn of her health due to back and respiratory complications together with her increasing dementia and difficulty even to speak in her final days this week, it is truly a comfort to know that she is now beyond the reach of any further weakness or pain. The reading went on to say that, though their passing was thought to be utter destruction for us, they are in peace. I would venture to say that that utter destruction is because we have lost the Our Lady of Perpetual Help lap. This is something I myself just became aware of this week as I was reading a book (which will be reviewed in the September issue of Antenna, the monthly newsletter sent to all priests in the diocese, in preparation for one s possible reading in October, a month with close associations to Jesus mother, Mary). The book is David Richo s When Mary Becomes Cosmic. In it, he explains the picture of Our Lady of Perpetual Help i with Mary holding the child, Jesus. Above her head are two angels carrying thorns (a sign of Jesus suffering) and a spear (a sign of Jesus death). It is as if the child had just jumped into Mary s lap for safety, as one of his sandals is falling off his foot: he can see clearly the signs of his future as held by those angels, but sees them from the safety of Mary s lap. We 1 Wisdom 3:1-6, 9; Psalm 23; I Thessalonians 4:13-18; and Matthew 11:25-30 1
who are devastated by Mom s passing no longer have that haven of safety to turn to when we face our own omens. Our comfort, though, is that she is in peace, and I thank all at the Episcopal Senior Living Center on Mount Hope Avenue for your great care for Mom, from the time she moved there in Spring of 2015 from the Baywinde (where she had lived for only about a year) right up until her passing on Wednesday morning around 10:00 A.M. Your care for her (as well as for all who reside in your facility with such limited physical and mental ability) is a most precious gift. And I ask either Fr. Bob Kennedy or Fr. Matt Jones, whichever of you has the Mass there this Monday, to please remember Mom in your prayers and extend that gratitude to all staff who may be in Monday s congregation. As that first reading went on, it said that God found them worthy of himself.and the faithful shall abide with him in love. Though Mom is no longer here physically to be our perpetual help, she herself is now not only with God in love but with Mary, her perpetual help. Indeed, the very day Mom died, the part of David Richo s book that I was reading was the section on Mary s title, the Gate of Heaven. He wrote: Mary is the middle world gate through which we enter the sacred world of spiritual consciousness (p. 105). Mom had, and prayed, the rosary, and I am sure she rejoices in that spiritual consciousness as we are gathered here today. Now, as some of you know, part of my family is from Vietnam, and many of them are Buddhist. Very interestingly as if it were a plant by God the very day after Mom s death, the section of David Richo s book that I was reading stated: In tantric Buddhism, Tara is the Mother of all Buddhas and is known as the mother of liberation. Tara ferries us across the river of samsara, the endless round of lifetimes, to the shore of nirvana, the final peace (p. 110). So, the way I figure, Mom s got the peace thing covered, one way or the other. God s care is truly with his Elect. Our cantor, Darlene Simmons, accompanied by our organist, Chelsea Barton, then led us in the singing of the 23 rd Psalm. In it, seven qualities of the Good Shepherd are indicated, and I think we can see many connections there to Mom as well. --First, the Shepherd gives repose. August 17, 2016 was the date written in God s book from the beginning of time to call Mom home. It is ironic that that date was 2 days before what would have been Dad s 96 th birthday. In a way, I see that as payback for Dad s dying on June 19, 1984, 2 days before Mom s 60 th birthday. What goes round comes round! 2
--Second, the Shepherd leads me. The Shepherd has been leading Mom since June 21, 1924 when she came into the world. Those two dates are the front and back cover of the book of the life of Marilyn Franck-Schrader, and you in the pews today are some of the pages and chapters in between those covers. Take those pages out from time to time and review them in your mind and in your heart to keep those memories alive and allow whatever lessons in loving that they contain to become your own. I might add that the Shepherd began leading her in an even more intense way when she was baptized at the North Presbyterian Church on June 14, 1925. When the family then moved to a farm in Greece on Mill Road (their house, but not the farm, still remains), they became affiliated with the Greece Baptist Church to which her sister, Byrl, and our cousins still belong. --Third, the Shepherd refreshes. He did that in a special way on November 18, 1944 when she married Dad, right here in this place, with Father Thomas Connors presiding. Mom became Catholic shortly after the wedding (though, I might add, a cursory review of the sacramental registers the other day failed to indicate a record of this; so, at least we think that Mom is Catholic we ll let Jesus and Mary figure that out above). --Fourth, the Shepherd guides us. The Shepherd guided Mom in both her religious upbringing and in her education in grade school in Greece and then because Greece had no high school at the time at Marshall High School on Ridgeway Avenue until she graduated and went to work at Kodak where she met Dad. Mom then guided us, escorting us through our early years of school and religious formation right here at Blessed Sacrament. She also guided our family while traveling, being the navigator as Dad drove. This did not go so well, though, in 1961 when we were coming back from a visit to Quebec City: when we got down to Montreal, somehow we crossed the river and started going back up (let s just say that when Dad discovered this navigational compromise, he expressed dismay and thus ended Mom s career as a human GPS device). And Mom guided many other people right up the street from here at the Monroe Public Library where she went to work when all of us boys were grown and no longer in school. Some very kind stories about her time there were shared with us yesterday at the wake. --Fifth, the Shepherd encourages us. Mom was always other-oriented. In the 70 years she lived on Nelson Street, she knew everyone on the street by name and would always reach out to them in their own times of loss. As to this parish, it was her second home. If we couldn t find Mom, we knew where she was: helping to run the Knights of St. John Auxiliary, working the 3
Next-to-New Sale, volunteering in the parish office, or whatever. When I was at St. Andrew s Seminary, she was active in the Parents Association, and was so personally encouraging and supportive at my ordination, my brothers weddings, and all other significant family functions. --Sixth, the Shepherd spreads the table before me this one, right here where she came to Mass regularly. She herself spread the table before others not only daily at home (including all of our lunch hours when we walked home from school here, Monday-Friday), but also for many special holiday gatherings as well. Indeed, I will never forget the time when her many friends who so enjoyed her kuchens at holiday time persuaded her to bake some for each of them in return for some remuneration for the ingredients (and hopefully for the effort). One day, I came home from school, and there were kuchens everywhere: they were on the kitchen table, the dining room table, all the counters I even had to watch out where I sat in the living room. If that had been an Olympic event, I m sure Mom would have won a Gold Medal (in fact, I think that s the flour she used). --And seventh, the Shepherd anoints me. I was very privileged to administer the Shepherd s anointing of her on Tuesday when our family was all gathered around her for the entire day. That day will always be a special one etched in my memory, and I believe it was special for Mom as well. To all my family members who were able to be present, I thank you greatly for being a part of that gift. At one point when Mom and I were alone during the supper hour, I read to her the two beautiful Prayers of Commendation ii which all in the family heard prayed for her after her dying the following day. I wanted her to hear those words herself before her passing, words of handing her over to God s care and giving her permission and support in taking those steps. Then, just before leaving her on Tuesday evening, we exchanged our final words. My normal words when parting Mom s company, either in person or on the phone, was always, Love you! And she would always respond, Love you, too! Tuesday evening, we exchanged those words one last time. My nephew, Joseph, read for us our second reading today from St. Paul s First Letter to the Thessalonians. In it, Paul tells the people: We do not want you to be unaware about those who have fallen asleep, so that you may not grieve like the rest who have no hope. Indeed, to want Mom back would be to want for her something less than what she now has. None of us wants that for ones whom we love. Paul tells the people that Jesus will bring with him those who have fallen asleep. I m picturing a reunion: Mom s parents, her brothers, Dad, Aunt 4
Agnes, Aunt Emma, many cousins, neighbors Richard & Marilynn Bolcko, Marie Andres, the Singletons and many more. And we who are alive will surely not precede those who have fallen asleep. Our day will come, but they already possess the preferential seating. Then comes a line of special significance: For the Lord himself, with the trumpet of God will come down from heaven to raise the dead. Now, back in 1956 (60 years ago next month), Mom signed me up for trumpet lessons with Sr. Helen Ann here at Blessed Sacrament. Every night I would dutifully practice at home, and in warm weather I did so with the windows open. I am told that I, too, was a good assistant to the Lord in this raising of the dead and whenever the neighbors would close their windows, I admired their stamina in the smoldering heat. Finally, Deacon Juan Benitez read for us the Gospel. By the way, I am so happy for Mom that we have two-thirds of the world represented here at her funeral. We have Deacon Juan and others present from Colombia in South America, we have Fr. Hoan Dinh from Vietnam in Asia, we have my nephew-in-law, Richard Chaplin, as well as Fr. Alex Bradshaw and Fr. Roman Cali from England and Poland in Europe, and of course the vast majority of us from the U.S. in North America. Thank you, World! In any case, Deacon Juan read Jesus words, Father although you have hidden these things from the learned, you have revealed them to the childlike. Though Mom never studied for a theology degree, she showed us in her family and I believe all in her acquaintance how to live the gospel. So many people yesterday commented on her peaceful demeanor in all that she was about. And then came that wonderful invitation which we all might hope to hear when our own day shall arrive: Come to me all you who labor and are burdened, and I will give you rest. The end of Mom s life was one affected by dementia, and even then, Mom continued to teach us about life: that the most important thing was to live in the Now. But after those final few days when she couldn t walk or talk or eat or be free from pain, such words of invitation heard in today s Gospel had to be welcome ones for her as she was soon to be totally restored in the Kingdom. It is an understatement that Mom will be missed. And yet a religious newsletter I received this week had in it a most hopeful summary of all of the above where it quoted St. John Chrysostom: Those whom we love and lose are no longer where they were before. They are now wherever we are. Mother, may it ever be so! 5
i ii Go forth, Christian soul, from this world in the name of God the almighty Father who created you, in the name of Jesus Christ, Son of the living God, who suffered for you, in the name of the Holy Spirit, who was poured out upon you, go forth, faithful Christian. May you live in peace this day, may your home be with God in Zion, with Mary, the virgin Mother of God, with Joseph, and all the angels and saints. I commend you, my dear mother, to almighty God, and entrust you to your Creator. May you return to him who formed you from the dust of the earth. May holy Mary, the angels, and all the saints come to meet you as you go forth from this life. May Christ who was crucified for you bring you freedom and peace. May Christ who died for you admit you into his garden of paradise. May Christ, the true Shepherd, acknowledge you as one of his flock. May he forgive all your sins, and set you among those he has chosen. May you see your Redeemer face to face, and enjoy the vision of God for ever. Amen. 6