Forgiveness a Second Chance What if Someone Won t Forgive Me? Key Faith Foundation: Obedience and Being Responsible for Your Actions Key Scriptures: 2 Chronicles 7:14; Psalm 66:16-20; Proverbs 14:9; James 5:16 87
Bible basis for teachers 2 Chronicles 7:14; Psalm 66:16-20; Proverbs 14:9; James 5:16 O Grapple Question: What if Someone Won t Forgive Me? O Key Faith Foundation: Obedience and Being Responsible for Your Actions What if we ve hurt someone, whether accidentally or intentionally, who won t forgive us? Use this lesson to show that God wants us to ask people to forgive us when we hurt them. God also wants us to ask him to forgive us. Even if the other person won t forgive, God will. God will wipe away our sins when we take responsibility for them, when we re obedient, and when we ask for forgiveness. Proverbs 14:9 says that fools make fun of guilt but godly people recognize it and seek reconciliation. Use this verse to teach that it s important to recognize when they ve done something wrong; they can t just ignore the situation. Reconciliation means doing everything they can to make things right. It includes feeling genuinely sorry, seeking forgiveness, and accepting any resulting punishment. James 5:16 reminds us to confess our sins to each other and pray for each other. The prayers of a righteous person have great power and wonderful results. Use this verse to talk to kids about seeking forgiveness not only from the person they ve hurt but also from God. When we come before God and repent of our sins, we re made right before God even if the other person refuses to forgive us. In 2 Chronicles 7:14, we find God s words to the Israelites: If they will humble themselves and turn from their wicked ways, God will forgive them and restore their land. In Psalm 66:16-20, the psalmist describes how he confessed his sin; and God, in his unfailing love, listened to his prayers because he repented. Use these verses to help kids understand that when we seek forgiveness from God, he will never turn away from us. Even when someone we ve wronged refuses to forgive us, God will honor a repentant heart. Remind kids that they re called to do whatever they can to make things right with the person they ve hurt, but even more importantly, they re called to seek forgiveness from God. understanding preteens 88 Relationships become very important to kids this age, so reconciliation is a crucial life lesson they ll need to master. Use this lesson to help young people restore relationships that have been harmed by sin and to emphasize that God always loves and forgives them.
the lesson at a glance Lesson Sequence What Kids Will Do Supplies 1 grapple community (5 minutes) 2 grapple games (10-15 minutes) 3 grapple time (10 minutes) 4 grapple team time (15 minutes) Build relationships. Choose two games to play. Create a symbol of a hurtful situation. Find out what the Bible says to do when someone won t forgive you. DVD player Christian music music player snacks clothespins blindfold set of keys a playing area with clearly marked boundaries a ball 10 paper clips for each person Bibles pencils copy of the Grapple Team Guide for each person paper clip creations from Grapple Time 5 grapple team reports (10 minutes) Report what they learned from the Bible passage they studied. 6 grapple prayer (5 minutes) Choose a prayer option. paper clip creations from Grapple Time 7 grapple dare Hear the dare for the week. 89
1 grapple community Play Christian music as kids enjoy snacks and friendship. Give kids this discussion starter as they eat. Say: Discover three people in our group who ve said I m sorry! this week. Play one of the three-minute countdowns (included on your Grapple DVD) to let kids know how much time remains. 2 grapple games Say: We re going to play a game, but you ll get to choose. Would you rather play Clothes Pinning (p. 105), where you try to hang clothespins on one another? Or would you like to play Mission Impossible! (p. 107), where you try to catch a thief? Have kids vote on the game they d like to play. Then lead kids in playing the game. Say: Now we ll play another game. Would you rather play Everybody s It (p. 105), a game of Tag where everyone is It at the same time? Or would you like to play Human Jacks (p. 106), where you must separate into groups quickly? Have kids vote on the game they d like to play. Then lead kids in playing the game. 3 grapple time Lead the entire group in the following: Give each person up to 10 paper clips. Think about a time you ve been hurt by a friend or a family member in the past. Take a moment to remember how you felt and what happened in that situation. Then use paper clips to create something that symbolizes how you were hurt and what the outcome was. Allow time. Without using names, explain your creation to a partner. Share whether you forgave the person or not and why. What if the situation was reversed? Think about a time when someone wouldn t forgive you for something and how that made you feel. 90
What are we supposed to do if we ve hurt someone, whether accidentally or intentionally, but then that person won t forgive us? I ll read a couple of options, and after I read through them a second time, get together and talk about which option you most agree with. Do you: Keep begging the person over and over for forgiveness until they finally say, I forgive you. Avoid the person until you feel like they ve forgotten what happened? Find someone else to spend time with? Do whatever you can to make it up to them, and then some? What are we supposed to do when someone won t forgive us? Let s grapple with that. Instruct kids to keep their paper clip items to use during Grapple Team Time. 4 grapple team time Break into Grapple Teams. Encourage Grapple Team leaders to check in with kids about their week. Grapple Team leaders will facilitate discussion, using the Grapple Team Guide on pages 93-94. 5 grapple team reports At the end of Grapple Team Time, have kids work with their team to choose one of the options below to report what they discovered. Option 1: Mime Time Use mime to communicate what you ve learned today (think of it as a very important game of Charades). Option 2: Text It Pantomime sending a text message to a friend as you explain what you learned today. Match Grapple Teams that chose Option 1 with Grapple Teams that chose Option 2. Have teams present their reports. (Do this one team at a time if you have only two Grapple Teams.) 91
6 grapple prayer Read the Grapple Prayer options. Have the group choose one prayer option that everyone will do. Allow kids time to pray about what they discovered. Then close in prayer. Option 1: Paper Clip Prayers Thank God for forgiving us when we do wrong things. Turn your paper clip item into a heart as a reminder that God loves us and forgives us even if someone else won t. Option 2: Song Prayers Sing a praise song as a thanksgiving prayer to God for his amazing gift of forgiveness. 7 grapple dare Say: God wants us to ask people to forgive us when we hurt them. God also wants us to ask him to forgive us when we sin. Even if the other person won t forgive us, God will. God will wipe away your sins when you take responsibility for them, when you re obedient, and when you ask for forgiveness. It s not easy to ask forgiveness, and it s not easy when the other person won t forgive us. But I dare you to try anyway. I dare you to take responsibility for your actions and ask forgiveness from the other person and from God. (Find the Parent Page for this lesson on the enhanced DVD. Have each child give a copy to his or her parent. Alternatively, send the file to parents via email.) 92
grapple team guide In your Grapple Team, use this guide to grapple with today s question. What are you supposed to do if someone won t forgive you? Does it mean you don t have to do anything? Do you just give up? Let s see what the Bible says. Read Proverbs 14:9. What can you discover from this verse about recognizing when you ve done something wrong? What does reconciliation look like? Use your paper clips again to create an image to represent what you think it might look like to seek reconciliation with someone you ve hurt or wronged. Read James 5:16. Do you think this verse still applies if you confess and someone won t forgive you? Why or why not? How could it help to ask someone to pray for you in this type of situation? Why is it important to confess our sins to each other? Do you think this verse is talking about just confessing to the person we sinned against? Why or why not?
Read 2 Chronicles 7:14 and Psalm 66:16-20. What do these verses show you about how God will take care of things even if the person won t forgive you? Do you think it s more important to have the person s forgiveness or God s? Explain. Based on what you ve learned, what steps can you take if someone won t forgive you? grapple team reports With your team, choose one of the options below to report what you discovered. Option 1: Mime Time Use mime to communicate what you ve learned today (think of it as a very important game of Charades). Option 2: Text It Pantomime sending a text message to a friend as you explain what you learned today. W grapple team guide