Family Life: God's Family Order (TEACHER COPY) p. 1 Before we can actually begin to study God's plan for any member of the family, we must familiarize ourselves with God's order for the family--the family structure. I Corinthians 11:3 gives us that structure. 1 Cor 11:3 But I want you to know that the head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God. What this verse is telling us is from where each member receives his or her authority. God is the ultimate authority and Romans tells us that there in no authority that doesn't come from God. God is the Head of Christ and Christ is the head of man. Man has authority but that authority is made complete only as he submits to Christ's authority. Man is the head of the woman. This is not to say that woman has not authority. Neither does it say that woman cannot hear from God on her own. What is is saying is that woman's authority is made complete only as she submits to her husband. We have to go to another scripture to see that man and woman together have authority over their children. In the letter to the Ephesians, Paul lined out the fact of the husband's authority. Verses 23-29 tell us how a husband should leads his family. Eph 5:23-29 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church-- I God has place Husbands as the head of the wife. Eph. 5:23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior A Men are God's authority in the home and bear responsibility for all that happens there. 1 The other side of all this talk of authority is responsibility. Authority without accountability or responsibility may be desirable to some but that is not God's way. For a man to be in authority he must be mature enough to take responsibility. Every person in the Bible who ever exercised authority properly also bore responsibility for their decisions. 2 With that in mind, It is the husband's primary responsibility to see that godliness, love and peace prevail in the home. a. This fact is best illustrated in Paul's instructions to Timothy about men who would qualify to be a pastor. 1 Tim 3:2-5 2 For an elder must be a man whose life cannot be spoken against. He must be faithful to his wife. He must exhibit self-control, live wisely, and have a good reputation. He must enjoy having guests in his home and must be able to teach. 3 He must not be a heavy drinker or be violent. He must be gentle, peace loving, and not one who loves money. 4 He must manage his own family well, with children who respect and obey him. 5 For if a man cannot manage his own household, how can he take care of God's church?
Family Life: God's Family Order (TEACHER COPY) p. 2 B Ephesians 5:25 tells us that in the area of headship or family leadership, Christ is our example. In the verses that follow, Paul gives some specific examples of Christ. However, before we get into the specifics of this passage, let's look at a couple of general examples of Christ's headship. 1. He spoke as one who had authority. He was decisive and sure of himself. 2. As a man of authority, Christ led the way. Some of Jesus' first recorded words were, " follow me." 3 He knew that authority was not to be accumulated in only one person but that a true leader would be secure enough to bestow authority upon those that were under His headship. C As we conclude this first section, let us look at various qualities of headship. These are qualities that husbands--any leader--must have if they are going to be a successful head of their family. 1 Being the head means going before. 1 Cor 15:20-23 20 But now Christ is risen from the dead, and has become the firstfruits of those who have fallen asleep. 21 For since by man came death, by Man also came the resurrection of the dead. 22 For as in Adam all die, even so in Christ all shall be made alive. 23 But each one in his own order: Christ the firstfruits, afterward those who are Christ's at His coming. a Christ was the first man to stand up to Satan and break the power of sin. Jesus did that for us he didn't leave it up to us. He lead the way. b Christ went ahead of us and took our sin upon Him rather than leaving us to try to figure out how we can please God. c Christ went ahead and broke the power of death over mankind. d e As head of the church, Christ went first in all things. As head of our families, husbands must go first and lead the way whether the way is easy or difficult. 2 Being the head means giving direction. Matt 7:28-29 28 And so it was, when Jesus had ended these sayings, that the people were astonished at His teaching, 29 for He taught them as one having authority, and not as the scribes. a Jesus spoke as one who had authority because He only did and said the things that he saw and heard from the His Father--His head. b As the head of our families, husbands must get their direction from the Lord--our Head--so that we can give direction to those who have been placed under our authority 3 It means making the difficult decisions and not passing them on. Luke 22:42 saying, "Father, if it is Your will, take this cup away from Me; nevertheless not My will, but Yours, be done." a This is one of the most difficult parts of any kind of headship be it leading a business, a group or a family. Not all decisions are easy to make. Many would be easier to ignore or pass on to someone else. Neverthelesss, the head must take responsibility and make the decision himself. Does this mean that he never asks for help? No. But it does mean that he knows that as the head and bears ultimate responsibility for the final decision. To pass on that responsibility is to pass on his God-given headship.
Family Life: God's Family Order (TEACHER COPY) p. 3 4 Being the head means boldly standing for righteousness rather than your rights. 1 Pet 2:22-24 22 "Who committed no sin, nor was deceit found in His mouth"; 23 who, when He was reviled, did not revile in return; when He suffered, He did not threaten, but committed Himself to Him who judges righteously; 24 who Himself bore our sins in His own body on the tree, that we, having died to sins, might live for righteousness-- by whose stripes you were healed. (NKJ) Matt 4:6-7 6 and said to Him, "If You are the Son of God, throw Yourself down. For it is written: 'He shall give His angels charge over you,' and, 'In their hands they shall bear you up, lest you dash your foot against a stone.' " 7 Jesus said to him, "It is written again, 'You shall not tempt the Lord your God.'" (NKJ) a These verses show us that Jesus had rights. As the son of God, He could have called on angels to deliver him at any time. He could have told the people in Pilate's court, "I am the Son of God, you have not right to judge me. I'll one day judge you!" Indeed they had already been judged. Instead, Jesus stood up for righteousness--the righteousness that would be made possible for all mankind through His blood. 5 Being the head means being an example of Christ-likeness. 1 Cor 4:16 Therefore I urge you, imitate me. II Th 3:7-9 7 For you yourselves know how you ought to follow us, for we were not disorderly among you; 8 nor did we eat anyone's bread free of charge, but worked with labor and toil night and day, that we might not be a burden to any of you, 9 not because we do not have authority, but to make ourselves an example of how you should follow us. a The head is one of the most visible parts of the body. To the husband, this means that what we do is open for our families to see. Since our responsibility is to see that godliness, love and peace are in our homes we must make sure that we an example of Christ-likeness. 1 Cor 15:47-49 47 The first man was of the earth, made of dust; the second Man is the Lord from heaven. 48 As was the man of dust, so also are those who are made of dust; and as is the heavenly Man, so also are those who are heavenly. 49 And as we have borne the image of the man of dust, we shall also bear the image of the heavenly Man. b Let us as husbands consider which head we are going to display to our families.
Family Life: God's Family Order (TEACHER COPY) p. 4 II God Commands husbands to love your wives Eph. 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her A Love is an action. 1 Love is not only a feeling. God commands husbands to love their wives. This goes much deeper than a feeling of affection. You cannot command somebody to "feel" a certain way. Feelings or emotions are not subject to verbal commands. Love is something you do. 2 Love is something you do regardless of feelings. In the following verses we will see a brief list of actions that are characteristic of true love. Colossians 3:19 Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them. I Peter 3:17 Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers. a Do not be harsh b Be considerate c Treat them with respect d Treat them as the weaker partner. (Be protective) A partner nonetheless. e As heirs of life with you. 3 True love brings the blessings of God in the home because God is Love. So when we allow love to grow in our families we are actually bringing in more of the presence of God. In addition to that, our prayers will not be hindered. B Once again, Christ is our example. He shows us what true love looks like. 1 Jesus gave himself for the church Phil 2:5-9 5 Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: 6 Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, 7 but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. 8 And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death-- even death on a cross! 9 Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, a These few verses show how Christ loved the Church. He did not call upon his rights as the son of God. He was not proud in His position. He did not consider it beneath Him to serve others and He gave Himself completely for them. b Because of the love that Christ showed for the church, God exalted Him to the highest place. Therefore, it only stands to reason that if a husband wants his wife to--willingly, not out of a sense of duty-- respect him he must follow the example of Christ.
Family Life: God's Family Order (TEACHER COPY) p. 5 C Loving your wife the way Christ loved the church has a cleansing effect on your marriage. 1 One of the greatest characteristics of love the ability to forgive. Christ's love for us compelled Him to die for us so that we may be able to receive forgiveness for our sins. His reason for this was to have a church--a bride-- that was clean spotless, unwrinked, or stained and blameless. Eph. 5:26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 2 Many marriages are failing because husbands(and wives) refuse to forgive each other. Not all marriages fall apart because of unforgiveness but it's nothing to desire. In a marriage where there is unforgiveness, the marriage is still together but its like wearing dirty clothes, its uncomfortable, ugly and stinks. And you can t hide it very long. So let us be as Christ, just as He took the lead in forgiving us we must take the lead in forgiving our spouses. In this way our marriages will remain clean and fresh. In conclusion of this section, read the book of Ruth. This book tells of the relationship between Ruth and Boaz. In the life of Boaz you will find many of the characteristics we've discussed in this section. Any man who could live up to the example of Boaz will be a Godly husband worthy of headship and respect. III God commands that husbands should love their wives just like their own bodies Eph. 5:28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church-- A Most people care for their body. It would be very uncommon for a person to neglect his body in the case of thirst, hunger, sickness, and exhaustion. We are always doing what we can to make our body more comfortable. In the same way, we are to care for and love our wives. B When you love your wife you are actually loving your own body Eph 5:31-33 31 "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." 32 This is a profound mystery-- but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
Family Life: God's Family Order (TEACHER COPY) p. 6 C The husband is to look out for what will benefit the wife just as he would for himself. 1 In every section up to this point, we have used Christ as the example of how we should love our wives. However, in this section it is important that we compare that love to the conduct of another person in the Bible, Abram. 2 Abram is the father of the faith. The Lord told him to leave his country and go to a place that God would show him. We often look at his willingness to go as an example of his trust in God and rightfully so. But Abram wasn't a mature follower of God from the minute he left Ur until his death. Maturity takes time and it was no different for Abram. Though he was able to trust God to show him a city whose builder and maker was God, he didn't always trust God to keep him safe. Sadly, Genesis 12 and 20 give us the prime negative example of loving your wife as your own flesh. In each chapter, Abram told his wife to lie to two different kings by saying she was his sister instead of his wife. The reason for this half truth was that Abram was afraid that these two kings would kill him so that they could have his wife. Unlike Christ who died for us rather than allowing the devil to claim us as his own Abram chose to put his wife in a dishonest, dangerous and immoral situation rather than risk losing his own life. 3 Not only do these two instances of Abram's life show us how we should NOT treat our wives, it shows us that human examples--no matter how wonderful the person may be--come far short of the example that Christ holds up for us as the standard for husbands Conclusion: Husbands if we want the blessing of God on our families, we need to follow the example of Christ and love our wives as Christ loves the church...completely!! THE WORD OF GOD TELLS US THAT IF WE DO THIS OUR PRAYERS WILL NOT BE HINDERED. If our prayers aren't hindered we have access to all that the Lord desires for us and our families. I Peter 3:17 Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.