SMALL GROUP DISCUSSION GUIDE 1
SMALL GROUP DISCUSSION GUIDE The two most important days in your life are the day you re born and the day you find out why. This study is based on Dianne Wilson s Mirror Mirror Faith Devotional and is designed to help you discover the mirror of truth that reveals your true identity and a life of true freedom. In this study, we are going to learn practical keys to help you unlock the potential of your future. Over the next six sessions,we are going to grow together by committing to the following: 1. THE GROUP: Make the commitment to attend small group regularly during this study. 2. THE WOMEN: Commit to connect with the women in our group and develop deeper relationships. 3. THE BOOK: Commit to reading the assignments from the Mirror Mirror Faith Devotional and ask God to speak to us through our reading. See Reading Assignment section.
Reading Assignments Mirror Mirror Devotional Assignments are to be read prior to small group and will be discussed during that particular session. Be sure to pay close attention to the assignments listed below, as not all chapters from the devotional are included in the study. SESSIONS Session 1 Session 2 Session 3 READING ASSIGNMENTS CHAPTER 2 Celebrate Your Uniqueness: Freedom from Rejection CHAPTER 3 Our Grass is Always Greener: Freedom from Body Discontentment CHAPTER 4 Under Pressure: Freedom from People Pleasing PAGES 67 90 91 116 117 144 Session 4 Session 5 Session 6 CHAPTER 6 Beware of the Big Bad Wolf: Freedom from Unhealthy Relationships CHAPTER 10 Stand Tall Princess: Freedom from Jealousy CHAPTER 11 Pit to Prison to Palace: Freedom from Discouragement 171 198 277 306 307 334
Freedom from Rejection Session 1 God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure. Ephesians 1:5 (NLT)
FREEDOM FROM REJECTION We ve all felt the sting of rejection. Whether we ve been excluded from an invite, turned down for a promotion or felt the weight from a failing relationship, rejection has a way of working its way into our hearts and minds as we are confronted with life s disappointments. If we aren t careful to deal with hurts, we can end up isolating ourselves and rejecting others. This week we will dive into truths that will help us to overcome past rejections and learn to deal with rejections we may face in the future. WARM-UP Pastor Dianne Wilson lists several reasons why people are rejected. Review the list of possible rejections below. Share a time when you experienced one of them. How did it make you feel? { } Not fitting in { } Race/ Ethnicity { } Appearance { } Economic Status { } Beliefs { } Disabilities { } Other KEY MEMORY VERSE God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure. Ephesians 1:5 (NLT) 1
LET S CONNECT Read Romans 15:7. The Mirror Mirror Faith Devotional states that at the core of everyone is a desire to be accepted and to belong. Share an experience where you were welcomed or included. What difference did that make? Read 1 Samuel 16:7. Many times we accept others based on what we see externally. How does the way God sees us differ from how the world sees us? Read Galatians 5:25-26. Comparing ourselves to others can lead to feelings of rejection especially if we don t feel we measure up. What does the Bible say about comparing ourselves to others? Why is this important? Read John 15:16. Regardless of any past rejection we may have experienced, we can be confident that God will never reject us. In light of this verse, how will you view rejection? 2
Read Romans 8:37. There are times when we don t believe we have the capacity to be accepted. We can carry a victim mentality, blaming others for not engaging with us, when actually we may be the ones not making the connection. What is our position in Christ? Knowing this, how does this change your perspective of acceptance? What situations or relationships are you facing right now in which you may have a victim mentality? What step will you take towards walking in freedom in this area? Who is someone in your life that is in need of acceptance? Make a point this week to reach out to that individual. DECLARATION (speak together) I am perfectly accepted and chosen by God. Even if others abandon me or reject me, God will hold me close. He will never reject me. I refuse to let any rejection seep into my heart. I will guard my heart above all else, because everything I do flows from it. I recognize that rejection is not always about me, but about others inability to accept me for who I am. I am confident in who I am in Christ, refusing any lie that tries to convince me otherwise. My value is not wrapped up in acceptance from man, but in the sacrifice that Christ made for me. 3
PRAYER Thank you, Lord that You ve given me the power to reject rejection. I believe that You will use every hurt for my good and Your glory. Help me to forgive those that have made me feel rejected. When I want to hold onto the hurt, remind me of Your grace and how much I have been forgiven. Father, do Your work in me. Heal me. Forgive me for holding on to past hurts. Guide me in Your truths as I walk out each day. In Jesus name, Amen. REFLECTION CHALLENGE Pastor Dianne mentions the importance of reciting truths about ourselves on a regular basis. Every day this week speak the above declaration aloud. The key to this exercise is to regularly declare what God says about you. Real change comes through the power of speaking God s Word. OTHER RESOURCES Root of Rejection by Joyce Meyer Uninvited by Lysa TerKeurst Next Week s Reading Chapter 3: Your Grass is Always Greener Freedom from Body Discontentment, pgs. 91 116 4
Freedom from Body Discontentment Session 2 You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother s womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous how well I know it. Psalm 139:13-14 (NLT) 5
FREEDOM FROM BODY DISCONTENTMENT Have you ever heard the saying, Beauty is in the eye of the beholder? We are all uniquely created and have different perspectives on what is beautiful. Regardless of what we see as beautiful, God sees us all as masterpieces. When you view yourself and others, do you see flaws and imperfections or do you see God s beautiful handiwork? This week we will reflect on what God says about beauty and how we can choose to see ourselves and others as beautiful. WARM-UP Having a balanced view of ourselves is important to our spiritual and emotional well being. Look at the list below. What are some areas that you would consider to be flaws? Which ones would you call blessings? Why? { } Height { } Weight { } Hair { } Eyes { } Smile { } Skin { } Body Type { } Bone Structure { } Voice { } Other Of those areas you consider to be flaws, write a positive comment about each. 6
KEY MEMORY VERSE You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother s womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous how well I know it. Psalm 139:13-14 (NLT) LET S CONNECT Sometimes we are so focused on our flaws that we neglect to see our beauty. How does acknowledging your positive traits make you feel? Read 1 Corinthians 6:19-20. Pastor Dianne emphasizes that body image is closely connected to the value a person attributes to themselves. What does the Bible say about your body in relation to your value? Read Romans 12:2. When looking at the world around us, we can often have unrealistic expectations of how we should look inside and out. Where should our definition of beauty come from? Why? 7
Cultivate inner beauty, the gentle, gracious kind that God delights in. 1 Peter 3:3-4 (MSG) What matters is not your outer appearance the styling of your hair, the jewelry you wear, the cut of your clothes but your inner disposition. In the Mirror Mirror devotional, we read that it s important to not just focus on outward beauty, but also inner beauty. What is the benefit to inner beauty? How we see ourselves on the outside can be a reflection of what we are feeling on the inside. Yet changing our outward appearance will not change who we are inside. Share a time when this rang true in your life. How can seeing our appearance through God s eyes encourage others? DECLARATIONS SCRIPTURE (speak together) I am made in the image and likeness of God. He has fearfully and wonderfully made me and I am His masterpiece. I refuse to despise how I am created. I appreciate my body, even with all it s flaws. I will be balanced in how I view beauty. I will not spend time fretting over my outward appearance, but I also will not neglect myself. I 8
will improve the areas that need attention, but accept the things I cannot change. PRAYER Father, thank you that You created me perfectly in Your sight. Although my flaws may be abundantly apparent to me, You see my inner beauty. Lord, help me to see it too. Show me the wonderful gifts and talents you have given me. Help me to see that in others as well. Let me appreciate the differences in myself and others, and recognize Your handiwork in it. Let me see beauty the way You see it. In Jesus name, Amen. REFLECTION CHALLENGE In order to see ourselves how God sees us, it s important to speak what God says about us. Each day this week, look in the mirror and confess the above declaration over yourself. NEXT WEEK S READING Chapter 5 Under Pressure Freedom from People Pleasing, pgs. 117 144 9
Freedom from People Pleasing Session 3 Am I now trying to win the favor and approval of men, or of God? Or am I seeking to please someone? If I were still trying to be popular with men, I would not be a bond-servant of Christ. Galatians 1:10 (AMP) 10
FREEDOM FROM PEOPLE PLEASING We all have an inherent need for approval. When we feel like we are lacking in that area, acceptance and people pleasing can become our main goal. Is it wrong to want to please others and want them to like us? Not at all! The problem is not with the need, but how the need is filled. God is our ultimate source for fulfillment, not man. This week we will explore verses that uncover the root of people pleasing and discover where we can find true acceptance. WARM-UP Do you consider yourself a people pleaser? Sometimes people pleasing doesn t look the way we imagine. Look at the following list and identify any people pleasing tendencies you may have. { } Do you embellish stories to make yourself look better? { } Do you have to buy that next big thing that everyone else has? { } Do you verbally agree with something you don t believe in order to be accepted? { } Do you say things you don t mean in order to win approval? { } Are you frequently concerned with how others perceive you or what they are saying about you? { } Do you hide things about yourself in order to present a different image? { } Do you serve others to feel better about yourself? KEY MEMORY VERSE Am I now trying to win the favor and approval of men, or of God? Or am I seeking to please someone? If I were still trying to be popular with men, I would not be a bond-servant of Christ. Galatians 1:10 11
LET S CONNECT Read Proverbs 29:25. At the root of people pleasing is the fear of man. Not that we are afraid of people, but we fear being rejected by them. How has this unhealthy behavior been a trap in your life? Read 1 John 3:1-2. In Mirror Mirror we read, Not being sure of who you are will cause you to want to gain security from what other people say about you. How does 1 John 3:1-2 help you feel more secure in who you are? For he satisfies the longing soul, and the hungry soul he fills with good things. Psalm 107:9 (ESV) According to Psalm 107:9 the desire for approval is only satisfied through spending time with God. How will knowing this change how you address your need for approval? People pleasing can be present in the acts of good service. God calls us to serve, but with the right motive. Who should we seek to please? Why? 12
Read James 4:2-3. When it comes to serving others, you may ask yourself, How can I measure my motives? Answering the following questions honestly can help indicate some possible impure motives. { } I serve so that I can be recognized. { } I serve so that I can feel better about who I am. { } I only serve when I m in charge. { } I serve because I can t say no. Declarations (speak together) I am secure in who God created me to be. I do not have to pretend to be someone I am not in order to please others. Jesus died that I may be free from the bondage to fear: I reject the fear of man in my life and seek approval from God above all else and resist the temptation to pull it from others. PRAYER Father, thank you that I am secure in You. When I m tempted to gain approval from others, remind me that I m accepted by You. Search me and know my heart, showing me any unclean way in me. Lord, I want to serve with pure motives. I no longer want to fill the longing in my soul with relationships, material things or accomplishments. Fill every insecure area in me with Your Word. In Jesus name, Amen. REFLECTION CHALLENGE In order to see ourselves how God sees us, it s important to speak what God says about us. Each day this week, look in the mirror and confess the above declaration over yourself. RESOURCES The Best Yes by Lysa TerKeurst Power Thoughts by Joyce Meyer 13
NEXT WEEK S READING Chapter 6 Beware of the Big Bad Wolf Freedom from Unhealthy Relationships, Pgs 171 198 14
Freedom from Unhealthy Relationships Session 4 Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm. Proverbs 13:20 (NIV) 15
FREEDOM FROM UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS Relationships are one of the many blessings that God has given us to steward in life. Having friends and family who celebrate victories and mourn losses helps us experience a glimpse of the triune God that we serve. Yet not all relationships are beneficial. There are times when marriages, friendships and even families become strained, leaving one or both parties in an unhealthy position. This week we discover what the Bible says about healthy relationships and how we can set appropriate boundaries for those that have become unhealthy. WARM-UP There are many issues that have a negative impact on relationships. Looking at the list below, which ones do you see as potential or current problem areas for your relationships? { } Lack of time spent together { } Lack of communication or miscommunication { } Different goals or expectations { } Financial insecurity { } Inability to resolve conflict { } Lack of trust { } Other Think of a healthy relationship you have or one you have witnessed. What do you admire most about that relationship? List those things that you believe contribute to its health. 16
KEY MEMORY VERSE Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm. Proverbs 13:20 (NIV) LET S CONNECT Read Mark 12:30-31. In Mirror Mirror, Pastor Dianne makes this statement in regards to relationships, I believe that every person is responsible for the presence or absence of love. What do these scripture verses say about loving others? How does that commandment help you to see your difficult relationships in a new light? Read 1 Corinthians 15:33. There are times when it may be necessary to cut off relationships that we have recognized as unhealthy. Share a time when you have been in bad company and how it affected you. 17
Read John 15:11. Placing our joy or satisfaction in relationships will often lead to disappointment and frustration. Where is our joy found? How can seeking joy from relationships cause them to become unhealthy? Read John 15:12-13. What does it look like to love others as Jesus loved? Read Galatians 6:2-5. Clear boundaries are necessary in order to maintain healthy relationships. What does this verse say about sharing burdens versus carrying a load? How will knowing this help us to set boundaries in relationships? In the question above we learned that boundaries are important. However, we want to be careful to not shut doors that God is trying to keep open. Pastor Dianne explains it this way, Boundaries assist us to live in balance, providing that the boundaries we have in place resemble a fence with a gate rather than a brick wall. 18
Read Colossians 3:12-14. How can we ensure that our boundaries don t completely shut people out? How does shutting people out prevent us from forgiving? A healthy relationship starts with a healthy relationship with Jesus Christ. When we receive God s love first we can truly love others. What steps do you need to take toward a thriving relationship with our loving Father? DECLARATIONS (speak together) I value relationships and recognize they are a gift from God. I will enjoy my relationships without placing my joy in them. My joy comes from Christ alone and I am secure in His acceptance of me. Just as Christ forgave me, I will forgive others when they hurt me. I refuse to shut people out by building walls around myself for protection. Instead I will set healthy boundaries that will set my relationships up for success. PRAYER Thank you, Lord for the gift of relationships. Help me to recognize that others hurt and to not be offended by negative responses that are directed at me. Show me any boundaries that I need to set to protect my heart in my relationships. Help me to recognize others hurts and not be offended by negative responses that are directed at me. Teach me to love others the way you love them. In Jesus name, Amen. 19
REFLECTION CHALLENGE What are some healthy boundaries you need to establish today in your relationships? Write them down, pray about it and take a step this week toward healthy relationships. NEXT WEEK S READING Chapter 10 Stand Tall Princess Freedom from Jealousy, Pgs 277 306 20
Freedom from Jealousy Session 5 If you are wise and understand God s ways, prove it by living an honorable life, doing good works with the humility that comes from wisdom. But if you are bitterly jealous and there is selfish ambition in your heart, don t cover up the truth with boasting and lying. For jealousy and selfishness are not God s kind of wisdom. Such things are earthly, unspiritual, and demonic. James 3:13 15 (NLT) 21
FREEDOM FROM JEALOUSY At some point in our lives, we ve all experienced a hint of jealousy. We see what others have and feel like we are lacking in some way. The success of others may seem to outshine our abilities and circumstances, leaving us feeling competitive and resentful. Jealousy and envy can lead to unhealthy behaviors, which can result in unhealthy relationships. This week we will explore various scriptures that expose the roots of jealousy and envy and how to overcome them. WARM-UP Jealousy and envy can show up in many different forms. Sometimes they can be subtle and hard to detect. Ask yourself the following questions: { } Are you frequently sarcastic or constantly critical of others? { } Do you downplay other people s accomplishments? { } Are you resentful when you don t have someone s undivided attention? { } Are you secretly happy when things don t go well for other people? { } Do you see other people s gain as your failure? { } Do you try to make people look bad in front of others? Share a particular time when you ve struggled with one of these or have been on the receiving end of jealousy. 22
KEY MEMORY VERSE Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm. Proverbs 13:20 (NIV) LET S CONNECT Read Philippians 2:2-3. The root of envy is rivalry. What does this verse say about rivalry? Rather than being competitive with each other, how should we respond to one another? Read Matthew 6:19-21. When we see others getting material possessions that we really want, there is the potential for us to become jealous and begin to covet those things in our hearts. What does it say about storing up treasures on earth? How are our treasures and our hearts connected? Read Psalm 65:11. In Mirror Mirror, we see that sometimes jealousy stems from a scarcity mindset. How does the Bible describe God s provision for us? How will knowing this help us to avoid jealousy? 23
Read Galatians 5:19-20. The Apostle Paul states that jealousy is a work of the flesh or an outplaying of us following our sinful nature. What does this verse mean to you? Read Galatians 5:16 on how we should handle the work of the flesh. What does it mean to walk by the Spirit? Share some practical steps you have implemented in your life. Read Hebrews 12:2. Jealousy can arise when we are self-focused or when we give in to our insecurities. The key is how we respond when we experience feelings of jealousy and envy. According to Hebrews 12:2 where should our focus be? How can we keep our focus off of ourselves? DECLARATIONS (speak together) I will see myself as my Creator God has uniquely designed me. I refuse to let a fear of lack cloud my thinking. Thanksgiving will be a constant song in my heart. Instead of jealousy and envy, I will celebrate and bless those who are successful. I will guard my heart against jealousy and pursue the call God has placed upon my life. No longer will I walk in constant comparison to others, I will choose to walk in humility over rivalry. 24
PRAYER Lord, thank you that You know exactly what we need. We are truly grateful for everything you ve done for us and given us. Help us to always have a heart of gratitude. When we become discontent with where we are or what we have, remind us that our fulfillment is found in You alone. Teach us to be satisfied whether we are on top of the hill or in the valley. Whatever our situations, we fix our eyes on You. In Jesus name, Amen. REFLECTION CHALLENGE In order to see ourselves how God sees us, it s important to speak what God says about us. Each day this week, look in the mirror and confess the above declaration over yourself. RESOURCES Without Rival: Embrace Your Identity and Purpose by Lisa Bevere NEXT WEEK S READING Chapter 11 Pit to Prison to Palace Freedom from Discouragement, Pgs 307 334 25
Freedom from Discouragement Session 6 Why am I discouraged? Why is my heart so sad? I will put my hope in God! I will praise him again- my Savior and my God. Psalm 42:5-6 (NLT) 26
FREEDOM FROM DISCOURAGEMENT Life can be full of disappointments. Unmet expectations and life s difficulties can leave us feeling discouraged and depressed. How we handle these situations will determine how we move forward. As we dig into the Bible this week, we will discover that we are not alone and that God has a great plan for each of us. We will be uplifted and encouraged in the hope we have in Him. WARM-UP There are many reasons why people become discouraged. Look at the list below. Do any of these things stick out to you? Which ones? { } Lack of purpose { } Repetitive failures { } Lack of vision { } Doubt { } Frustration { } Past mistakes that resurface { } Dream that never came to pass { } Fatigue KEY MEMORY VERSE Why am I discouraged? Why is my heart so sad? I will put my hope in God! I will praise him again- my Savior and my God. Psalm 42:5-6 (NLT) 27
LET S CONNECT Read Psalm 42:5-6 again. Share a time when you were tempted to quit, only to have a breakthrough after not giving up. Although we can t completely avoid discouragement, we can determine to not let it become part of our identity. Can you distinguish between being discouraged and living discouraged? Explain. Read 2 Chronicles 15:7 and Galatians 6:9. In Mirror Mirror, we read that a sense of discouragement can envelop us when we repeatedly try to accomplish something with no success. What benefits do we have for not giving up? What did David do when he began feeling discouraged? How can you apply this principle to your life? 28
Read Isaiah 61:10. We all make mistakes, experience setbacks and failures in life. Focusing on those inadequacies can lead to discouragement. How can we turn our discouragement into joy? Read Philippians 1:6. There are times when we become frustrated with where we are in life. We feel like we should be farther along or accomplished more. What does this verse say about God s work in us? Why should we not be discouraged by where we are? Read Jeremiah 29:11. When we lack a sense of purpose, we can begin to feel useless and discouraged in life. What does Jeremiah 29:11 say about our purpose? Read 2 Peter 1:3. What confidence can we have when we trust in God? 29
DECLARATIONS (speak together) I refuse to let discouragement become a part of who I am. The joy of the Lord is my strength and I rely on Him to bring me through tough situations. When things don t go the way I expected, I will trust that He is working it all out for my good. Nothing happens to me, but for me. When discouragement seeks to bring me down, I will encourage myself in the Lord. I will remind myself of the many things God has done for me. PRAYER Thank you, Lord that we can rely on You. We don t have to live discouraged and depressed, because You are our Hope. I believe You can and will do more than I could ask, imagine or dream. Thank You for the resources, relationships, and opportunities You will provide to help me fulfill my purpose. I can do all things in Christ who strengthens me. You are faithful to complete the work You began in me. I have complete freedom and joy in You. In Jesus Name, amen. REFLECTION CHALLENGE In order to see ourselves how God sees us, it s important to speak what God says about us. Each day this week, look in the mirror and confess the above declaration over yourself. Writing down your dreams and goals is an important first step to achieving them. Ask God to reveal or revive those dreams and show you how to accomplish them. RESOURCES Failing Forward by John Maxwell 30
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