1 Valley View Chapel May 13, 2012 "A Woman s Touch" 2 Timothy 1:5 Introduction Recently I read an article by Laura Elliott entitled "Helping Kids Learn Right from Wrong." The question that formed the basis of her article was: "How can parents raise children tough and smart enough to ignore peer pressure and make good choices?" The story contained nine principles for child-rearing. When I finished reading, I asked myself: "What makes these principles good? What gives them their clout? On whose authority do I accept their validity? Laura Elliott's? Why should I trust her? I don't even know her! How do I know she's not just pushing her own opinions on me? What makes her opinions better than anybody else's?" One principle is "Set Clear Limits." The author noted: "Limits say you care...they must be consistent...limits declare who is the senior partner in the relationship." Sounds good to me, Laura! I'm with you! Say those kinds of things to me and you're preaching to the choir! But then I remembered an article I read in the Washington Post entitled: "The Family, Gone to Pot." It talked about moms, dads and their school-age kids who smoke marijuana together. The story mentioned a girl in the seventh grade who was introduced to the forbidden weed by her mother. Her father said, "Experimentation is part of growing up." Doesn't sound to me like they read Laura Elliott's article! Who's right? Laura Elliott who says "Set clear limits" or the pot-smoking parents who say "Set no limits?" That's why we need the Bible! It is the time-tested, inerrant, authoritative, sent-fromheaven child-rearing manual. The Bible records the story of a man named Timothy. He grew up in a rough and tough town - Lystra, located in present-day Turkey. Lystra's claim-to-fame was that they beat the Apostle Paul nearly to death for preaching the gospel. Roman troops maintained a large garrison there. The troops were not known for being positive moral examples to the youth of the city. The Bible tells us that Timothy s mother Eunice and his grandmother Lois were devout believers in God. They had faithfully practiced Judaism until both were converted to Christ through Paul's ministry when Timothy was a teenager. After they became Christians, they practiced their faith with consistency and joy.
2 The Bible also tells us that Timothy's father was not a believer. If he had any religion, it would have been some form of Greek paganism. There is no indication in Scripture that Timothy's father had any spiritual or moral influence on his son. Though he grew up in a pagan city and had a non-christian father, Timothy grew up to be a missionary, pastor and leader in the first-century church. The Bible attributes all this to the spiritual influence of two godly women. The story of Eunice, Lois and Timothy should encourage single mothers today who are trying to raise their children in a Christian home. The Bible says it can be done! It may interest you to know that Christian women attending church without their husbands outnumber Christian men attending without their wives 9-to-1. Single mothers head 28% of America's 93 million households. There is hope for mothers trying to beat the odds without a male role-model in the home. Eunice and Lois are proof that Christian kids can come from homes where women are the sole spiritual examples. The 19th century author and preacher Alexander Whyte warned: "Let all wives and mothers live a life like the lives of Lois and Eunice...Timothy was kept for Paul to finish the work that Lois and Eunice had so well begun," Their child-rearing principles are stated in 2 Timothy 1:5 and 3:15, "I have been reminded of your sincere faith, which first lived in your grandmother Lois and in your mother Eunice and I am persuaded now lives in you also...from infancy you have known the holy scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus." John Stott wrote: "Good biographies never begin with the subject, but with the parents and grandparents...because every person is a product, to a great extent, of his inheritance." Eunice and Lois had never heard of James Dobson or Focus on the Family. They never attended classes and support groups for "spiritually single" women. But they practiced two principles which are indispensable to good Christian parenting. Sincere Faith 2 Timothy 1:5 tells us that they possessed "sincere faith."the word "sincere" means "unhypocritical." The negative form of "sincere" means "pretend" or "simulate Faith means "knowledge of, belief in or assent to a certain body of truth, certain Scriptural, divinely-revealed gospel truths." You cannot divorce the word "faith" from its companion word - "faithfulness." Genuine "faith" produces "faithfulness" - a life marked by conformity to the truths one professes to believe.
3 We can "fake" our faith at work, church and in the community. But we cannot fake our faith in the home. Sooner or later, the real you will emerge. Those who have to live with us every day know who we really are. A Barna Research Group survey found that while most teenagers in Christian homes accept the fundamentals of the Christian faith, most do not see faith as important in their daily lives. Why? Maybe it s because many kids live in homes where church attendance is required, but love and forgiveness among family members are not; where the Bible is carried to church on Sunday but is not lived-out in the home on Monday; where honesty, truthfulness, and courtesy are expected from the children, but not practiced by the parents; where grace is said over the meals but grace is not extended to those in the family who are in need of it. Karl Malone, the former basketball star, said about modern athletes: "We don't choose to be role models. We are chosen. Our only choice is whether to be a good role model or a bad one." In a Gallup survey of 13-17 year-olds, 51% said that there was no adult role model they wanted to be like no athlete, no entertainer, no pastor, no politician, no father, no school teacher - no body. 51% of America's youth are wandering leaderless through a mixed-up, anchorless society. But there is good news! Of the 49% who were able to identify a positive role model, the majority named their parents, even over sports stars, entertainers, teachers and coaches. That bears out what Ross Campbell wrote almost 40 years ago in his book, How to Really Love your Child. In that groundbreaking book, Campbell contended that parental influence shapes a kid s values far more than their peers or anyone else. Eunice and Lois possessed a "sincere" faith. Had their faith not been genuine, had it consisted of lip-service only, it is doubtful whether Timothy would have ever responded as a teenager to Paul's message of forgiveness and new life in Jesus Christ. Living Faith The faith of Eunice and Lois was sincere because it was a living faith. The key words in verse 5 are "which first lived" and "now lives." Because faith first lived in Timothy's mother and grandmother, it lived in Timothy. While it is true that no person can inherit the Christian faith, it is equally true that children can be led to faith by the teaching, example and prayers of the parents. Timothy is Exhibit A of this truth. Most of what we learn, we learn visually. That's why "Sesame Street" uses an array of pictures and images to teach basic concepts. That's why teachers use video in different formats because there is incredible power in visual images. And when we see a principle demonstrated in person, the impact is even greater.
4 In John 13 Jesus washed the feet of his disciples. The Bible says that none of the disciples wanted to do it. After all, it was slave's work. So, Jesus wrapped a towel around his waist, drew a pitcher of water and began to perform this menial and degrading task for his men. Jesus was trying to teach the principle of "servant-leadership." After he washed their feet, he explained the significance of his actions: "I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you." John 13:15 (NIV) The disciples got the message. With the exception of Judas, each disciple would pour out their lives on the altar of human need, denying themselves for the sake of others. Paul counseled the Philippians: "Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me - put it into practice." Philippians 4:9 (NIV) The Philippians had seen Paul s servanthood, courage, and commitment to Christ. Did Paul's visual object lesson make an impression? Paul wrote the Philippians in I Corinthians: "We want you to know about the grace that God has given to the Macedonian churches. Out of the most severe trial, their overflowing joy and their extreme poverty welled up in rich generosity. For I testify that they gave as much as they were able, and even beyond their ability...they gave themselves first to the Lord and then to us in keeping with God's will." I Corinthians 8:1-3a, 5b Paul didn't just teach about Jesus. He demonstrated Jesus. Because of his example, the Philippians did the same. Conclusion There is nothing more important for a mom or dad than to demonstrate a living, growing, and visible faith in front of their children. But how is our faith demonstrated in the context of the family? A study was done on the enormous impact that music has on teenagers. The study found that the rock star meets three basic needs in teenagers' lives. First: the rock star spends time with your teenager. All the kid has to do is turn on his ipod or pop in a CD and that rocker is available. He has all the time in the world for your teenager. He'll be there as long as he s wanted or needed. Second: the rock star accepts the teen as he or she is. It doesn't matter if the kid has long hair or short hair, if he has an earring or not, if he wears Dockers or jeans full of holes, if he gets A's or F's, if he likes fruits and vegetables or cupcakes and cookies, the kid is accepted for who he is. Third: the rock star identifies the teenagers' problems. He takes seriously the things that many parents just shrug off as a teenage hang-up. He articulates the struggles,
5 tensions, pressures, hopes and dreams of the young person. In his music he says: "I understand what you're going through." The truth is of course that most rock stars don't care about their audience. They just care about fame and making money. But many kids think they care, and that's good enough. If you want to have an influence in your child s life for good and for God, then fill their needs for companionship, acceptance and identification. Spend time with your children. Accept them for who they are. If they are musicians, don't try to make athletes out of them. If they are interested in cooking instead of calculus, don't pressure them to get accepted to M.I.T. If they prefer leather to Dacron and wool, so what? You don t accept your child s sin. You correct, exhort and encourage purity of heart and life. All the while, you accept them for who God made them to be. When parents fail in the areas of companionship, acceptance and identification, it doesn't matter how many Bible verses you've memorized, or what your position is in the church or how much you give to God s work. Your children will conclude that your faith doesn't include them. Faith lived in Timothy because it first lived in Eunice and Lois. Timothy was taught the truth and shown the truth. Eunice and Lois lived out the gospel in the home. That's why Timothy chose to follow his Mom and not his Dad. He had seen Jesus close-up and Jesus was irresistible.