GUIDELINES PREPARING TO BECOME A BAR/BAT MITZVAH JEWISH COMMUNITY OF GREATER STOWE Revised: 8/25/2010
The Purpose and Benefit of this Booklet These guidelines have been developed to guide you and your family as you plan and prepare for the ceremony. A suggested timeline is also indicated. JCOGS is an informal organization; therefore there is considerable flexibility to modify some of the steps according to your individual skills and interests, within certain basic parameters determined by the Rabbi. Getting Started The Bar/Bat Mitzvah ceremony is not just a celebration or coming of age event. It is the beginning of a lifelong commitment to a Jewish way of life and to the Jewish people. The year long period of study should enable you to: Learn Torah and Judaism Read Hebrew Recite and compose basic prayers Articulate for yourself what it means to be Jewish Acquire a sense of responsibility for the Jewish community Acquire a sense of responsibility for the non-jewish community and world at large You will work closely with your tutor, develop a relationship with the Rabbi and with JCOGS, and involve your entire family in the preparations. The process should culminate in a Page 2 of 22
meaningful ceremony. Hopefully, you will take pride in your accomplishments and in your Jewish identity. The Bar/Bat Mitzvah ceremony takes place at age 13 for both girls and boys. JCOGS allows a three-month leeway before your 13th birthday. The date determines the Torah portion. Usually, the ceremony is held at 10 AM on the Saturday morning of Shabbat; however a late afternoon and Havdallah service is also an option. As a community, we are especially sensitive to the needs of the many interfaith families among us. We recognize that the mere fact of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah is already ample testimony to a family s strong commitment to Jewish education, Jewish values and Jewish identification. Therefore, we go out of our way to include all family members in the entire process and to make them feel at home during the ceremony. Preliminary Tasks Establish the date through the Bar/Bat Mitzvah Committee Chair The Chair will confirm the date with the Rabbi, the JCOGS office and the Events Chair, and then reconfirm the date with you (the family). Please note that JCOGS does not necessarily hold Friday night services every week. Bear this in mind as you select the date, in case you would also like to participate in the Friday evening service. Page 3 of 22
Find a tutor The tutor will: Supervise the Mitzvah project Train you to read or chant your Torah portion in Hebrew Train you to chant the blessings before/after reading the Torah in Hebrew Train you to read or chant the Haftarah portion (optional) Prepare you to lead additional Hebrew prayers of the service Help you compose the devar Torah Help you compose a personal prayer using your own words Ensure that you are adhering to the timeline Provide general guidance and encouragement A list of tutors is provided at the end of this booklet, but you and your family are welcome to engage any qualified teacher. Page 4 of 22
Reference Material A Spiritual Journey: A Bar and Bat Mitzvah Handbook by Seymour Rossi This book is an introduction to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah. It is provided to you by the Bar/Bat Mitzvah committee as a gift from JCOGS. Obtain the Bar/Bat Mitzvah Study Guide that contains your Torah portion We recommend that you purchase online at: www.urjbooksandmusic.com Note that your Torah portion is determined by the date of your Bar/ Bat Mitzvah. The Rabbi can apprise you of your Torah portion according to the Jewish calendar. Attend Friday night services regularly You are strongly encouraged to attend worship services to become familiar with the prayers, to develop a relationship with the Rabbi and to participate as a member of the adult JCOGS community. Page 5 of 22
Nine Months Prior to the Event Plan and begin work on a Mitzvah project The Mitzvah requirement is very flexible. Mitzvah means good deeds. You can serve the Jewish community, the non-jewish community, or the world at large. The Mitzvah project must be approved by your Tutor and the Rabbi. Here are some ideas you might consider: Volunteering at JCOGS Volunteering at a community service organization (such as the animal shelter) Visiting the sick, the disabled, or the elderly Working on behalf of Israel Raising money for the disadvantaged Planning and leading a Jewish religious service or function Planning and performing an environmental project, etc. Page 6 of 22
Reference Material Mitzvah Magic, by Danny Siegel, or Mitzvah, by Danny Siegel Note: These books are available in the JCOGS library. Pick the Torah verses Read the entire Torah portion in English. Read and understand the entire text before choosing the Hebrew verses to chant. Choose at least ten contiguous verses from the Torah portion that are especially meaningful to you. The paragraphs should begin and end at logical breakpoints, not in mid-sentence. Your torah reading will be divided into at least three Aliyot, of at least three verses each. If you choose to chant more verses, you may have as many as seven aliyot, allowing the final aliyah for the Bar/Bat Mitzvah. The selection of verses must be approved by the Rabbi. Begin to learn the Torah verses in Hebrew. At the ceremony, the Torah verses will be chanted or read from the Torah scroll itself. Page 7 of 22 The Rabbi will e-mail a computerized sound file of the Torah verses. A copy of the Tikkun is available in the JCOGS library as a reference tool for students and their tutor. Please do not remove this, so it is available for all students. Feel free to make copies. The Tikkun presents all parshahs as they appear in the Torah scroll. As the date of the ceremony approaches,
you will be able to make arrangements through the JCOGS office in order to practice in the sanctuary from the Torah scroll itself. Learn all or part of the Haftarah in Hebrew or English (optional) The Rabbi will e-mail a computerized sound file of the Haftarah. Learn to chant the following blessings and Hebrew prayers: Blessings before & after reading the Torah in Hebrew Blessings before & after reading the Haftarah in Hebrew Reader s Kaddish Tallit blessing Hinei Mah Tov Barchu Shema Oseh Shalom (Page 322 of Siddur Hadash) (Pages 326-328 of Siddur Hadash) (optional) (Page 220 of Siddur Hadash) (Page 142 of Siddur Hadash) (Page 8 of Siddur Hadash) (Page 224 of Siddur Hadash) (Page 242 of Siddu Hadash) (Page 284 of Siddur Hadash) Sound files for all these prayers are available from the Rabbi. You can also borrow a copy of Siddur Hadash through the JCOGS office. Page 8 of 22
Six Months Prior to the Event Work towards completion of your Mitzvah project Continue to study your Torah portion (parshah) Continue to study your haftarah, if applicable Continue to learn the Hebrew blessings and prayers Attend Friday night services Raise any concerns with your tutor and/or the Rabbi Page 9 of 22
Three Months Prior to the Event Complete the Mitzvah project. Prepare a devar Torah to deliver at the service. The speech should incorporate: The Torah portion The Haftarah (optional) Your Mitzvah project Your personal life experiences What it means to you to be Jewish Acquire a tallit for the ceremony Owning a personal tallit is encouraged for both girls and boys. Often, the parents or grandparents present it at the beginning of the ceremony. Plan the service with the Rabbi Assign Aliyahs, hagbah, galilah, and Hebrew and/or English readings to family members and honored guests. The basic service model provided by the Rabbi can be modified to include extra readings, instruments, co-officiants, etc. You will find a sample service outline as well as suggested additional English readings at the end of this booklet. Page 10 of 22
Produce a Supplemental Handout At minimum, the handout or booklet includes the text of the Torah portion, as well as the Haftarah, if the Haftarah is part of the ceremony. The Torah/Haftarah material can be photocopied from the Bar/Bat Mitzvah booklet, or downloaded from the internet. See the example at: www.mechonmamre.org/p/pt/pt0.htm Otherwise, the booklet may be simple or elaborate, consisting of some or all of the following additional elements: Title page, with a photograph of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah Personalized Welcome from the Bar/Bat Mitzvah An explanation of the ceremony (A standard explanation can be E-mailed by the Rabbi) Outline of the service A mention of deceased relatives, who are present in spirit. Any additional readings Additional graphics and pictures Page 11 of 22
You (the family) are responsible for producing the document and making photocopies for participants and guests. Examples are available in the JCOGS office or from the Rabbi. Compose a personal prayer Compose an English prayer of your own to deliver at the ceremony. It may have the form: Baruch atah Adonai eloheinu Melech ha-olam... followed by five or more things for which you are grateful. Or, it may be in paragraph form. The Rabbi will review the personal prayer before the ceremony. One Month Prior to the Event The Rabbi reviews the devar Torah The Rabbi completes the service outline with you The Rabbi interviews you in preparation for writing an article about you in the JCOGS newsletter! Highlight your interests and accomplishments that you would like the community to know about, especially emphasizing your Jewish involvement. Please provide a digital photograph to the Rabbi for inclusion with the newsletter article. Invite the community Page 12 of 22
All Bar/Bat Mitzvah ceremonies are open to the entire JCOGS community. The family should extend an invitation to the community through the JCOGS weekly e-mail and the JCOGS calendar. Provide the following items for the ceremony: Kosher wine Challah If you would like to provide personalized kippot for the event you may do so, otherwise JCOGS has kippot available to use. Page 13 of 22
Additional Considerations Friday night service JCOGS holds scheduled Friday night services. If there is a Shabbat service on the evening before your ceremony, you are encouraged to attend, to participate in the service, and/or sponsor the Oneg. Contact the Friday Night Service Chair for more information. Prayer Book Please don t forget to return borrowed copies of Siddur Hadash to the JCOGS office immediately after the ceremony. Rabbi s Discretionary Fund In addition to other outlets for contributions to JCOGS, a Rabbi s Discretionary Fund has been created to provide an opportunity to acknowledge and show appreciation for the services of the Rabbi. The Rabbi uses the Discretionary Fund for purchases, programs and charitable donations that benefit JCOGS beyond its operational budget. Page 14 of 22
TUTORS FOR B NAI MITZVAH PREPARATION B nai Mitzvah Preparation Tutors The following individuals have expressed interest in tutoring children for B¹nai Mitzvah preparation. Please understand that this list is provided only for your convenience. It is not meant to limit your choices for tutors nor do we endorse any particular individual as the best tutor for your child. We suggest that you contact these or other individuals you may know and decide who is best match for you and your child. Rates for tutors vary considerably from no charge to $50.00/hour. Again, it is important that you find the best match for your child when making this decision. Name Phone # Email Address Barbara Bauman (802) 253-2644 bdbauman@yahoo.com Dov Schiller (802) 888-7161 groove@mtmoosic.com Joyce Kahn (802) 229-1780 tallitot@earthlink.net Judy Alexander (802) 862-5125 directorjudy@templesinaivt.org Jude Elford (802) 472-3141 jude@dtlink.net Rabbi Shana Margolin (802) 223-0559 rabshana@sover.net Sandra Geensburg (802) 253-9898 sgeensburg@aol.com Stephanie Justine (802) 279-8104 sjustine@yahoo.com Page 15 of 22
BAR/BAT MITZVAH SAMPLE MORNING SERVICE OUTLINE SIDDUR CHADASH A sample outline for the Afternoon Service is available from the Rabbi. Page Leader Prayer Note 8 BM & Officiant Hinei Mah Tov Sing in Hebrew BM Welcome the people Officiant Welcoming remarks Guest Presentation of the Tallit Handout Tewa Indian Prayer or or Guest Psalm 36 142 Read in English BM Tallit blessing Recite in Hebrew 142 Officiant Introduce Preliminary Prayers 145 BM Gratitude for our Recite in Wondrous Body Hebrew 144 Officiant Rofei Chol Basar blessing Chant 145 Guest Gratitude for the Gift of the Soul Read in English 144 Officiant Hamachazir Neshamot blessing Chant 146-147 Officiant & All Morning Blessings Chant 146-147 Officiant & All Ask for other spontaneous blessings from the congregation BM Miracles of Daily Life Composed by BM Officiant Introduce the Morning Prayer 224 BM Barchu Chant responsively in Hebrew Officiant Introduce Prayer on Nature Page 16 of 22
Page Leader Prayer Note Handout or 231 Guest Page 17 of 22 Rabbi Nachman prayer or The Glory of Creation 236 Officiant Yotzer Hame orot blessing Chant Officiant Introduce Prayer on Divine Love Handout or 239 Guest We are loved or Ahavah Rabbah: God s gifts of love 240 Officiant Habocheir B amo Yisra eil blessing Chant 242 BM Shema; Baruch Shem Kevod Sing in Hebrew 242 Guest Ve ahavta Read in Hebrew or English 243 BM You shall love the Lord... Read in English Officiant Introduce Prayer on Redemption 800 Guest Listen! Responsively 252 Officiant Mi Chamochah (chant) Officiant Introduce Amidah 255-267 Everyone Amidah Silent, standing prayer 264 Officiant & All Sim Shalom 268 BM Reader s Kaddish Officiant Introduce Torah Service 312 Officiant Ask parents and grandparents to join BM in front 312 Officiant & All Taking Out the Sefer Torah Chant 312 Family Pass the Torah among the generations 320 Officiant & All Shema Chant Responsively 320 Off., BM & Sing Hinei Mah Process with Torah Family Tov again 320 Guest/children Undress the Torah
Page Leader Prayer Note Officiant Ya amod ha-rishon... 322 Aliyah #1 Blessing before reading the Torah 1 st Aliyah Handout BM Chant first Aliyah Handout Officiant Read first Aliyah English 322 Aliyah #1 Blessing after reading the Torah Officiant Mi Shebeirach prayer for first Aliyah Officiant Ya amod ha-sheini... 322 Aliyah #2 Blessing before reading the Torah 2 nd Aliyah Handout BM Chant second Aliyah Handout Officiant Read second Aliyah English 322 Aliyah #2 Blessing after reading the Torah Officiant Mi Shebeirach prayer for second Aliyah Officiant Ya amod Bar/Bat ha- Mitzvah... 322 BM Blessing before reading the Torah 3 rd Aliyah Handout BM Chant third Aliyah Handout Officiant Read third Aliyah English 322 Aliyah #3 Blessing after reading the Torah Officiant Mi Shebeirach prayer for BM Handout Officiant Prayer for Healing 324 Guest (strong) Hoist the Torah 324 Officiant Vezot Hatorah Chant 324 Guest/children Dress the Torah Guest (strong) Sits with the Torah for the next part of the service 326 BM Blessing before the Haftarah Optional Handout BM Blessing after the Haftarah Optional Page 18 of 22
Page Leader Prayer Note 326 BM Blessing after the Haftarah Optional BM Devar Torah/Report on Mitzvah Project Guests Words to BM Tutor Words to BM Parents Words to BM 862/863 Parents Blessing Officiant Words to BM 859 Officiant Priestly Benediction Recite 859 Officiant & All Shehecheyanu Sing together 864 Officiant & All Siman Tov Sing together 346 Officiant Eitz Chayim Hi Sing 400 Officiant & All Ein Keiloheinu Sing 402 Officiant Aleinu Sing Handout or 404 Guest Merger: A Vision of the Future or A Prophetic Vision 404 Officiant Vene emar 410 Officiant Introduce Mourner s Kaddish 410 Offic. & mourners Mourner s Kaddish 410 BM Oseh Shalom Sing 418-419 Officiant & All Kiddush & Motzi BM=Bar/Bat Mitzvah Page 19 of 22
Tewa Indian Prayer Weave for us a garment of brightness; may the warp be the white light of morning, may the weft be the red light of evening. May the fringes be the falling rain, may the border be the standing rainbow. Thus weave for us a garment of brightness, that we may walk fittingly where birds sing, that we may walk fittingly where grass is green. Rabbi Nachman Prayer May it be my custom to go outdoors each day among the trees and grasses, among all growing things, there to be alone and enter into prayer. There may I express all that is in my heart, talking with the Spirit to whom I belong. And may all grasses, trees, and plants awake at my coming. Send the power of their life into my prayer, making whole my heart and my speech through the life and spirit of growing things, made whole by their transcendent source. Page 20 of 22
Rabbi Nachman of Bratzlav We are loved by an unending love. We are embraced by arms that find us even when we are hidden from ourselves. We are touched by fingers that soothe us even when we are too proud for soothing. We are counseled by voices that guide us even when we are too embittered to hear. We are loved by an unending love. We are supported by hands that uplift us even in the midst of a fall. We are urged on by eyes that meet us even when we are too weak for meeting. We are loved by an unending love. Embraced, touched, soothed, and counseled... ours are the arms, the fingers, the voices; ours are the hands, the eyes, the smiles; We are loved by an unending love. Page 21 of 22
Merger: A Vision of the Future And then all that has divided us will merge And then compassion will be wedded to power And then softness will come to a world that is harsh and unkind And then both men and women will be gentle And then both women and men will be strong And then no person will be subject to another s will and then all will be rich and free and varied And then the greed of some will give way to the needs of the many And then all will share equally in the Earth s abundance And then all will care for the sick and the weak and the old And then all will nourish the young And then all will cherish life s creatures And then all will live in harmony with each other and the Earth And then everywhere will be called Eden once again. Page 22 of 22