CONFLICT SYRIA We live in a world that s characterised by conflict. We ve already remembered this morning the most awful conflict in recent years; the civil war in Syria. Conflict is a mark of human fallen-ness, of sin. We see it in every aspect of our society too. PARLIAMENT We see it in politics. We are already familiar with the politics of confrontation, with people using the most inflammatory words in order to deal with their political opponents. Do they really have to? And do they have to lie? All this behaviour tends to fuel division take Brexit for example. Contrast that with workaday politics such as Parliamentary Committees or the local Council and it s much more civilised, so it can happen. EASTENDERS I know some of you watch what I consider to be the most miserable programme of TV EastEnders. They are a pretty grumpy bunch. This kind of drama is very much a concentration, a caricature of all the bad things in society, but it is a reflection of what does go on in society, reflecting attitudes we think as normal. I find that many Christians, speak and act no differently to anyone else. HOW MUCH DO THE VALUES OF THE WORLD BELONG IN CHURCH As Christ s church, we should be people of God s word, people not led by the flesh, by the world, but people of the Spirit. People who reflect the mind and will of Christ. If it doesn t belong in God s word, it doesn t belong in the the church. We ll see how this works shortly. One thing we have looked at many times before is the principle that Jesus and the early church followed and that was agape love. God s people reflect Jesus in putting others before themselves even if they are our enemies and even if it costs us our lives. That was the way of Christ who loved us and died for us. Love the Lord your God, love your neighbour, love your enemies, love your fellow disciples. CHRISTIAN COUNTER CULTURE And love means that most of Biblical Christian faith run counter to society. We know what that involves. We will always be under pressure to drop our standards and look no different to anyone else. Now, I m not preaching on Matthew 18 because we have serious problems and have compromised ourselves. Quite the reverse we need to explore it again from time to time because our most basic Christian values are constantly under attack by the pressure the world places on us. And we must guard against it see this as spiritual safeguarding training for the church. RECAP ON CHAPTER
If I wanted to summarise Matthew 18 so far I would do it in three direct quotes of Jesus. Greatness in God s kingdom and therefore in the eyes of God, is about this: - Humility - whoever humbles himself like a child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. - Whoever receives one such child in my name receives me. - See that you do not despise one of these little ones. The church of Jesus Christ is based on trusting Him, accepting one another in humility and prioritising the needs of one another by placing the same importance on one another as God places on each of us. It goes without say that the values of society are usually the exact opposite of agape: putting my needs first, receiving only those we like not those we don t, despising the lowly and people we don t like for whatever reason, treating one another without respect. Jesus said - verses above. WE ARE A PEOPLE WHOM JESUS IS AMONG These are important words of Jesus because as His disciples, we are a people whom Jesus is among when we are together in His name; that may be to worship, but I would suggest its whenever we meet together with any other Christians. We are family, we see one another in lots of different contexts. I am going to deal with verses 18-20 first because they set the tone of the latter part of the chapter and help us to understand where Jesus is going here. We are called to show humility, receive one another willingly and not despise one another because we are called to be a people of agreement. Here are the verses (18-20) VERSES These are significant words because when we agree together, God acts. This makes prayer something immensely significant and powerful about us asking God in prayer. It can be most difficult to persuade Christians that praying together is most important above all activities we do together. It s a critically important thing to do. Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. Think on that for a moment. This is a promise. A big one. If we really want to see change in people around us, this church, in this community, in this nation, in this world or for that matter in our lives, then learn the discipline of praying together in agreement. The biggest shame is, that most Christians for whatever reason don t take it up and pray. In verse 20 we learn that if there are two or three of us together and we are gathered in His name, then He s present (that s another promise). Jews need a quorum of 12 to have a synagogue meeting. If we meet as Jesus people for whatever reason Jesus is with us. He s not even referring to a formal church activity it could be just our just our presence together as we talk and pray. This is a promise. If you are meeting up as God s people, remember it, claim it, pray it. You can make a difference because: if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. This is real stuff. Take it seriously and things can and will change. That also makes the words SEE THAT YOU DO NOT DESPISE ONE OF THESE LITTLE ONES of immense importance. We can change the world by virtue of being together and seeking agreement in our lives as to what we ask God for because Jesus is with us and prayer is answered that s a promise. But that can t happen if we despise one another, or are in discord with one another, or worse are in conflict or unforgiving of one another. Jesus isn t honoured, He isn t welcomed, He isn t valued. We are not seeking His sweet agreement (as Graham Kendrick
once put it). In fact, churches that have a lot of discord, back-biting, gossiping, argument, conflict usually aren t going anywhere. Guard our present unity as a church jealously. In the latter part of Matthew 18 Jesus deals with two major areas in the life of His disciples that are examples of despising one another and not seeking agreement. The two areas of brotherly non-love are. 1. When we are in conflict 2. When we show unforgiveness. These are both ways of the world and not of Christ. Today I m going to deal with the first - conflict. HANDLING CONFLICT THE EASTENDERS WAY Let s go back to EastEnders and see how our soap opera friends handle conflict. I d say they are a reflection how the world handles conflict and chillingly, I ve seen all of these used in churches I have been involved in over the years. So let s see how the EastEnders sort one another out? POINTS - Have it out with them, pointing out their error in no uncertain terms, preferably with an audience and more entertaining if it s done with anger. If they can t do that they will do the second one (or may do both) - Assassinate their character by gossiping about them, whether it s true or not. - Encourage others to take sides and have a feud. - Get your revenge. And you never allow then to get away with it. You get your revenge, you get one up on them and then the whole cycle begins again and things get steadily worse. If we bring the world into church in these kinds of ways, even in a milder more polite way, it wreaks disaster in church. So what should we do if someone offends us? IF YOUR BROTHER/SISTER OFFENDS YOU I used the ESV today as it s a translation that tries to get close to the original which gives us the feel of where Jesus is going with this. So when we read brother, it includes sisters too. Language wasn t inclusive in the 1 st century but that s what it means. VERSE 15 NLT I ve also put the more inclusive NLT in as it gives in more modern language what I think Jesus is trying to say. So someone offends you. What do you do? Simple. You respect, rather than despise them. You go and talk to them about it. For the sake of Christ, you keep it a private matter so you don t talk to others, you don t spread your displeasure round the church, you don t gossip, you don t bring it up in the wider church. You don t even go to the Pastor, Elders and Deacons and tell them about it. Your first port of call is the person involved and you deal with it one to one. That s the way of Jesus. Any other way, isn t. I ve often had folk come to me complaining about others even though they have said nothing to them. Or worse, they are passing on something told them by others who wish to remain anonymous. That isn t the way of Christ; it s the way of EastEnders. It s gossip don t pass it on. Get them to follow the words of Jesus if another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offence. So send them back to sort it out, no ifs or buts. Oh, and attitude is all important. Why do I want to speak to my brother and sister? To sort them, to give them a piece of my mind? That s also not what we are supposed to do. All angry words do is widen rifts and destroy relationships because it s all about getting one up on someone
rather than trying to right a wrong. Look at the last phrase. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back. Our task is to win them back. You may think that as they have done the offending that it s their responsibility to sort it out. Look at the passage your brother offends you so the onus is on you to sort it; to resolve it, to enter into agreement in Christ with them. To win them over. That s the way of humility in Matthew 18. It s to restore and cement relationships. But what if that doesn t work? If we can t win them, what do we do? Let s go to verse 16. VERSE 16 That s when we go to part 2. We involve someone else. We still don t put it around the church and make it public, because gossip still is never acceptable in any context. It s all about trying to win our brother or sister back and for that it requires not spreading stuff around. So we involve two or three others and try to sort it out. Sometimes it takes wise people to sort things out, but it isn t a substitute to you trying to sort the problem out privately first. Again, if we manage to do so fine, we have won a friend back. But what happens if that doesn t work? VERSE 17 Take the matter before the church. It becomes public. Sadly, in many places, the church gets involved at too early a stage because someone jumps the gun and makes public an issue that could and should have remained private. There may have been ill judged words, little attempt at reconciliation, plenty of gossip and the taking of sides by some. Things can end in a mess and it s always a shame when I see it. I can almost guarantee that using Jesus method, things will only rarely get to such a stage that the church has to deal with the matter where someone still refuses to budge. So what happens, now everything is public? If the person who has offended is in the wrong and doesn t repent then Jesus says treat the person as a pagan or a tax collector. What does He mean? He s not saying cast them off and throw them out, but treat them as someone who is a pagan or a tax collector. All good Jews avoided pagans because they did not worship the true God and tax collectors as they were untrustworthy Roman lackeys. So, should we ostracise those who refuse all attempts to be reconciled, to be won back, to repent? Many down the years have sought to do that. In the early Walton Chapel, wrongdoers were frequently denied the communion table for various infractions they could even have their membership terminated. But is this the way of Christ? How did Jesus deal with pagans, tax collectors and sinners? He loved them. He reache dout to them. He invited them to come to Him. There have been people who have left here over the years because there s been a falling out. I must say, by and large, we have always been friendly and welcoming to them. That s good, because it s the way of Christ. Our faith is one of redemption, forgiveness. More next time. Let s close with a time of confession as we reflect on this passage. CONFESSION - forgiveness for despising other disciples and not value the fact we are given to one another - for the lost opportunities for agreement and for powerful prayer - for opportunities for prayer together missed - for times when we complained and gossiped about someone rather than resolving issues - for those who have left the church who we need to still pray for. Go and sort it out!
Questions for Discussion Read Matthew 18:1-20 1. Someone crosses us in Church. How hard do you find it not to use an EastEnders solution? 2. How well do you think Jesus approach may work in your family or work situation (obviously it isn t something that you can bring before the church, but there are public ways of resolving conflict). 3. Verses 18-19. Truly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven. 19 Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. What are the implications of these verses for us? Preached by Mark Reid MRBC Felixstowe 19/3/2017 Mark Reid 2017