Grace and peace to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. 4

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1 P a g e Philemon 1-21 1 Paul, a prisoner of Christ Jesus, and Timothy our brother, To Philemon our dear friend and fellow worker 2 also to Apphia our sister and Archippus our fellow soldier and to the church that meets in your home: 3 Grace and peace to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. 4 I always thank my God as I remember you in my prayers, 5 because I hear about your love for all his holy people and your faith in the Lord Jesus. 6 I pray that your partnership with us in the faith may be effective in deepening your understanding of every good thing we share for the sake of Christ. 7 Your love has given me great joy and encouragement, because you, brother, have refreshed the hearts of the Lord s people. 8 Therefore, although in Christ I could be bold and order you to do what you ought to do, 9 yet I prefer to appeal to you on the basis of love. It is as none other than Paul an old man and now also a prisoner of Christ Jesus 10 that I appeal to you for my son Onesimus, [b] who became my son while I was in chains. 11 Formerly he was useless to you, but now he has become useful both to you and to me. 12 I am sending him who is my very heart back to you. 13 I would have liked to keep him with me so that he could take your place in helping me while I am in chains for the gospel. 14 But I did not want to do anything without your consent, so that any favor you do would not seem forced but would be voluntary. 15 Perhaps the reason he was separated from you for a little while was that you might have him back forever 16 no longer as a slave, but better than a slave, as a dear brother. He is very dear to me but even dearer to you, both as a fellow man and as a brother in the Lord. 17 So if you consider me a partner, welcome him as you would welcome me. 18 If he has done you any wrong or owes you anything, charge it to me. 19 I, Paul, am writing this with my own hand. I will pay it back not to mention that you owe me your very self. 20 I do wish, brother, that I may have some benefit from you in the Lord; refresh my heart in Christ. 21 Confident of your obedience, I write to you, knowing that you will do even more than I ask. (Black slide) A mother entered her daughter's bedroom one afternoon and saw a letter on the bed. With trembling hands, she read: Dear Mom, It is with much regret and sorrow that I'm telling you that I ve run away with my new boyfriend. I know how upset you ll be, but I m truly happy. So please find it in your heart to be happy for me. I have found real passion with Ahmed. He is so nice, with all his piercings and tattoos; and his big motorcycle. But that s not all, mom: I'm pregnant! Can you believe it? Ahmed says we ll be really happy in his trailer in the woods.

He wants to have more children and you know that's always been one of my dreams. I've learned that marijuana doesn't hurt anyone. So we ve decided to sell it to support ourselves and our children. In the meantime, please pray for the medical profession to find a cure for HIV. I pray every night for Ahmed to get better; he deserves it. Don't worry mom, someday I'll return so you and Dad can get to know your grandchildren. Signed: Your daughter, Judith PS: Mom, none of this is true. I'm over at Sarah's house. I just wanted to show you that there are worse things in life than the report card that's in my top desk drawer. 2 P a g e For most of us this would be a pretty unlikely scenario, but what if it were true? What if your teenage daughter did get pregnant and run off with her boyfriend, and for three or five years you never received even a letter until one morning she unexpectedly showed up at your doorstep. How would you respond? Or, change the scenario: What if one of your most trusted workers embezzled $20,000 from your business and took off to the Cayman Islands, only to show up a month later with empty pockets and a sad face to ask for your forgiveness. How would you deal with the betrayal? How would you respond? How can any of us be able to look past wrongs committed and accept the wrongdoer as Christ accepts us? The Apostle Paul wrote a letter that speaks to this issue. It s an epistle in the New Testament in the Bible written to a guy named Philemon. Title slide The letter to Philemon, as it s called, is a message of mercy, 2 nd chances, and forgiveness. It s a message about equality in Christ and the power of the gospel to transcend social boundaries. And, it s a message about grace. Philemon was a Christian who the Apostle Paul had led to Christ in the city called Colossae.

That s the city that received Paul s letter we to the Colossians. 3 P a g e In around the year 62 AD, a crime occurred in Philemon s house. This crime would have stayed historically unknown, except that the fugitive perpetrator fled to Rome, where he crossed paths with... the Apostle Paul. Paul was under house arrest in Rome at the time, awaiting trial before Caesar. And even though he was in chains, he was able to preach the gospel to those who came to him, including this fugitive named... Onesimus. Onesimus was one of 60 million slaves bearing the weight of the Roman Empire in those days, and in Rome slavery was brutal. A famous Bible teacher and commentary writer named William Barclay describes it like this: In Roman law a slave was not a person but a thing; and he had absolutely no legal rights whatsoever. For that reason there could be no such thing as justice where slaves were concerned. A master had absolute power over them. He could punish them with blows of the rod, the lash, or the knot; he could brand them upon the forehead if they were thieves or runaways, or, in the end, if they proved irreclaimable, he could crucify them. -- William Barclay, The New Daily Study Bible. Before Onesimus fled, he had most likely stolen something from his master, Philemon. So not only was he a fugitive, but he was a thief which made him a candidate for branding, or worse, if he were ever caught and returned. Onesimus freedom would not have felt very free with fear restricting his every move. Black slide In my early 20 s, before the Lord rescued me, I can remember how that felt. I got in legal trouble for multiple driving offenses, some small, one serious, and I stupidly didn t pay my fines So I lost my driver s license, then I got caught driving with it suspended, so they physically took my license, but I had to drive for my job with Xerox. I lived in constant fear of being caught by the cops or my boss, which I ultimately was. There s nothing as oppressive as running from the wrongs we ve done. Fortunately for Onesimus (and for many of us), God had a freedom waiting for him

that was beyond anything he could have imagined. 4 P a g e Maybe he knew Paul from his earlier days in Philemon s house, maybe he came to Paul in Rome when his guilt or fear caught up to him, however it was, Onesimus was introduced to the Savior. The shackles of fear and shame tumbled fell off. And in Christ, he found forgiveness. But freedom in Christ doesn t erase all the consequences of our earthly debts and trespasses. And, Paul knew that even though Onesimus slate had been wiped clean before God, Onesimus needed to make things right with his former master, Philemon. With these issues on the table, Paul sat down and wrote a letter for Onesimus to hand deliver to Philemon himself. For the next 2 or 3 weeks we re going to look at this letter. And we re gonna look at how Paul sought to resolve this conflict God s way, and how this can instruct and inspire us in resolving our conflicts and repairing our damaged relationships. Today, there are several lessons we can learn from the first part of this letter in how Paul appeals to family support. As Christians, our healing and growth take place in, and not excluded from, the body of Christ. Paul s introductory remarks first affirm the community in Philemon s household. Appeal to family unity. Paul s first appeal to help restore Onesimus and Philemon s relationship is to family unity. He opens his letter with this greeting: Philemon 1-3 Paul, a prisoner of Christ Jesus, and Timothy our brother, to Philemon our beloved and fellow worker, and to Apphia our sister, and to Archippus our fellow soldier, and to the church in your house: Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. Paul sees beyond his own shackles to a higher authority to the One who had allowed him to be where he was. He says I m a prisoner of Christ Jesus... he s not Caesar s prisoner.

5 P a g e He sees his circumstances as within God s sovereign will, no matter how difficult they look. No matter how restricting, he sees divine purpose in his circumstances. Then, by referring to Philemon as our beloved brother and fellow worker, Paul is pointing to the underlying foundation of their relationship their mutual love and service for the sake of Christ. As Paul and Timothy had devoted their entire lives to following Christ, so had Philemon. We know that because the church in Colossae, or a church in Colossae, met in his house, in his home. Paul empties himself of any rank or status as an apostle and he lifts Philemon s service by uniting it with his own. They are equal brothers and fellow workers for the same Lord. He goes on to include Apphia, who he calls our sister, and Archippus, our fellow soldier, in his greeting. Bible scholars suppose that Apphia was Philemon s wife. And as lady of the house, she would be the one most concerned with domestic duties, so it s fitting that Paul includes her in the discussion regarding the return of a runaway slave. Archippus is possibly Apphia s son. And then, the greeting comes to the church in your house. This means that this letter is not exclusively for Philemon s eyes; the entire church is included in the appeal Paul is making. Why would Paul address the whole church with what seems to be a private affair? Maybe, Paul is subtly putting pressure on Philemon to comply with his request. Or, more likely, Paul is looking to how individual decisions can ultimately affect an entire believing community. And, how the healthiest way for anyone to make a difficult ethical decision is within the context of a believing community s support. Today, we live in a society that values privacy almost above everything else. It s our right. Who are they to tell me what to do or how to behave? we could hear. Most people wouldn t want the church being in on a personal matter concerning the treatment of an thieving worker,

or the discipline of a runaway daughter, or the struggles in their conflicts and relationships. 6 P a g e But Paul here, which is God s Word to us, approaches things differently. He includes brothers and sisters in Christ, the family, the community, in his strategy for bringing resolution to this family s conflict. He assumes that Christians live and act within the context of community that we belong to a network of mutuality and that whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly. Because, when we each join to Christ, we are joined to one another. Though Philemon has sole legal jurisdiction over his slaves, Paul assumes that the whole church, not just Onesimus master, should have a voice in whether or not they accept Onesimus back into their home. Granted, Onesimus crime showed disloyalty; it violated the welfare of his household and likely cost Philemon much sorrow. But, Onesimus also is in need of forgiveness, guidance, and community support. In this context, Paul s blessing in verse 3, Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ, maybe takes on greater than usual meaning. These words remind Philemon of what he has already experienced from God. Paul is calling Philemon to extend the same grace and peace to a slave who has wronged him. By acting graciously, Philemon will know more fully the peace of God that has at its source the sacrificial work and grace of the Lord Jesus Christ. Appeal to family encouragement. Then, Paul appeals to family encouragement. In verses 4 & 5 he writes, Philemon 4-5 I thank my God always, making mention of you in my prayers, because I hear of your love, and of the faith which you have toward the Lord Jesus, and toward all the saints. In the confinement of his own house arrest, the Apostle Paul has plenty of time to pray and give thanks.

Isolation has a way of minimizing distractions, allowing those things of real value to rise to the surface of our awareness. 7 P a g e But Paul did more than pray. He also had his ear toward the believing community which often brought new occasion for his prayers and thanksgiving. Epaphras, who was an elder in the church in Colossae, was visiting Paul in Rome. Paul may have heard from him about Philemon s great hospitality and generosity. And, maybe he would have heard more of Philemon s character and ministry from Onesimus, the fugitive slave. And so he writes, I am so grateful for you and what I hear about your faith and love. Whenever I think of you, I thank my God. What great words of encouragement! Isn t that what we need?... to be affirmed in this way? Words have incredibly power. What we say and how we say it, can draw us close to the hearts of others or can cause others pain. In the article by a Christian counselor named Steve Aurell that inspired this message, Aurell tells the story of a woman whose father never affirmed her as a child. When she was in high school, she brought home a report card with an A in every subject. She proudly showed it to her father, hoping for approval or praise. Instead he said, You must be attending an easy school. Years and years later, that thoughtless remark was still etched in her mind. Her father may have considered it a casual joke, but he created a point of pain for his daughter that endured a lifetime. When used carelessly, words can wound and destroy. But when used wisely, they have power to enlighten, encourage, repair, and heal. Some may get a little confused here, because they think it s impossible to express gratitude unless they feel thankful. But that s simply not true.

Gratitude is more about choice than feeling. We can choose to be grateful even when our emotions are rife with pain & resentment. We always have the option to view our lives through thankful eyes. Paul serves as a great model here. He chooses gratitude in the middle of his challenges and infuses this conflict with that encouraging gratitude. It is possible that our relationship conflicts could be helped and healed or we could help others with their conflicts and relationships if we were more intentional about gratitude and encouraging one another on a daily basis. 8 P a g e Paul is not buttering Philemon up with praise before broaching the subject of Onesimus; that d be manipulative. He sincerely offers thanks because he has heard of Philemon s faith and the love he extends to all the community of believers. He says, I hear of your love, and of the faith which you have toward the Lord Jesus, and toward all the saints. They are intertwined. His faith and his love are wrapped around and in and part of each other. One way Philemon s faith is proved is thru the love he displayed towards others. One writer eloquently describes this relationship saying: That which is exhaled from the heart and drawn upwards by the savor of Christ s selfsacrificing love is faith; when it falls to earth again like a gentle rain from heaven, which causes the good seeds of compassion to sprout forth, it is love. -- MacLaren Expositions Of Holy Scripture Paul takes pleasure in encouraging his brother Philemon as he lives out his faith and love. And he does it to help bring healing and restoration. Appeal to family service. Then, as Paul reflects on Philemon s character, the Spirit of God leads Paul into intercessory prayer for him: Philemon 6-7 I pray that your partnership with us in the faith may be effective in deepening your understanding of every good thing we share for the sake of Christ. 7 Your love has given me great joy and encouragement, because you, brother, have refreshed the hearts of the Lord s people.

9 P a g e Paul acknowledges Philemon s track record as a servant. This is the third idea he appeals to to bring about reconciliation and to help repair the damaged relationship with Onesimus. He calls Philemon a partner in the faith. And, he says, you, brother, have refreshed the hearts of the Lord s people. He means that the ways Philemon has served people have often refreshed them. He prays that the partnership they have in Christ, would be effective or active in deepening his understanding of what they share. I think he s saying, Philemon, remember how you serve people. Remember how what Christ has done has inspired you to be gracious and generous. I have seen your love and faith at work, Philemon. Now, I am praying that you would make it active in this situation with Onesimus. Paul s prayer here is for Philemon to do the same things he does for others for Onesimus now, who is in need of Philemon s forgiveness and help. Isn t it funny how sometimes we Christians are so ready to serve and be gracious to others, except for the ones we are closest to. Except for the ones we are in relationships with. who hurt us. Paul s appeal here is, Philemon, you re a servant of Christ, serve the one who wronged you. Christ showed us that example when he washed his disciples feet right? Jesus washed his disciples feet and then he told them John 13:14-15 If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another s. For I have given you an example, that you should do as I have done to you. And in that group was the one who would betray him, Judas. In a classic Christian book called A Serious Call to a Devout and Holy Life, William Law urges that every day should be viewed thru the eyes of Christ s servanthood. Let every day be a day of humility. Condescend to all the weaknesses and infirmities of your fellow creatures. Cover their frailties, love their excellencies, encourage their virtues, relieve their wants, rejoice in their prosperities, compassion at their distress, receive their friendship,

10 P a g e overlook their unkindness, forgive their malice, be a servant of servants and condescend to do the lowliest offices of the lowest of mankind. This is the example and call of Jesus Christ. Serve one another in these ways, and Christ will bring healing and repair and reconciliation, to you and to those you touch. Appeal to brotherhood. There is one last thing to notice in this passage. In the original language this was written in, Paul ends verse 7 with the word brother. It literally says, Philemon 7... the hearts of the saints have been refreshed through you, brother. As Philemon reads on, he ll learn that Onesimus is also a beloved brother, and that in sending him back, Paul is sending his very heart. Will Philemon allow that to soak in? Will he allow it to penetrate those areas of his own heart that have been wounded by Onesimus? Paul believes he will. Even when his brother has betrayed him and failed him, he is still his brother. This word brother comes as a fitting climax, showing how deeply Paul loves this man and how he sees them tied to a single strand of brotherhood in Christ. Is your commitment to Christ reflected in the quality of your relational ties? This is so important! Because it s only when the ties that bind us together are stronger than those that would tear us apart that we stand even a remote chance of resolving conflict and repairing our damaged relationships together. God created us to work out these struggles within the framework of this brotherhood and sisterhood in the community. of his Son. Amen.

11 P a g e