SHABBAT OBSERVANCE: How to Add Meaning Without Burden There is a realm of time where the goal is not to have but to be, not to own but to give, not to control but to share, not to subdue but to be in accord. Abraham Joshua Heschel If we do not allow for a rhythm of rest in our overly busy lives, illness becomes our Sabbath. Wayne Muller (Sabbath: Restoring the Sacred Rhythm of Rest) Imagine a day-long spiritual fiction suspending ordinary time. There would be neither past nor future. Our worldwork would be finished. By closing the books on the past week and refusing to think about the next one, we have nothing left to do. For this reason, on the seventh day there is only the present, simply being alive. On this day everything we do, and the reasons for everything we do, can be only here and now. If our worldwork is done, we cannot do anything about making it better later. Indeed, there is no later. We quit planning, preparing, investing, conniving, evaluating, fixing, manipulating, arranging, making, and all the other things we do every day. All these things began in the past and will end in the future. We do them, not for their own sake, in the present moment, but with an ulterior motive, for the sake of some later time. We are obsessed with work. Six days each week we rest so we can go back to work. We play so that we can go back to work. We love so that we can go back to work. One ulterior motive after another. Worrying over the past, living in the future. We are either tied to the past through our uncompleted tasks or compulsively drawn to them through our need for completion in the future. But one day each week there is a day devoted to being present, the seventh day. On that day, we do not have to go anywhere or do anything. Everything is done and we are already here. Lawrence Kushner (The Book of Words) - 1 -
SHABBAT = BEING Genesis 2:1-3 1 The heaven and the earth were finished, and all their array. 2 On the seventh day God finished the work that God had been doing, and God ceased on the seventh day from all the work that God had done. 3 And God blessed the seventh day and declared it holy, because on it God ceased from all the work of creation that God had done. The Sabbath is given unto you, not you unto the Sabbath. Mekhilta Tzedakkah Observances/Practices/Rituals/Exercises Put money into a special box before sitting down at the Shabbat table - 2 -
Have family discussion to determine where money should go Semi-annual distributions at Rosh Hashanah and Passover Candles Two for the household One for each child One for each member of the household Circle hands and cover eyes Rabbi Margot Stein: In our home, after we light the candles but before we say the blessings, we use our hands to wash the light toward each of us in turn, saying things like, May your Light shine on Sammy. The kids love to be recognized in this way. Then we cover our eyes and say the blessing together. Include a reading Three generations back My family had only To light a candle And the world parted. Today, Friday afternoon, I disconnect clocks and phones. When night fills my house With passages, I begin saving My life. Marcia Falk Family Blessings Why did Ephraim and Menashe merit such honor? Perhaps because they were the first brothers in the Torah to break the pattern of sibling violence. Some children bless their parents by saying, May God bless our love for one another. And, not to leave out guests who are seated around the table, the hosts may choose to include the guests in the priestly blessing and offer the blessing: May you find peace within these walls and seek goodness far beyond them. Catherine Sull: My family modified the traditional blessing of the children to be more inclusive by age and gender by having the oldest at the Shabbat table bless the next oldest. Therefore, I bless my partner, who blesses our six-year-old daughter, who blesses her 16- - 3 -
month-old brother, who kisses keppi (head) of his teddy bear. As our Shabbat table changes, so does the order of the blessings, except that the teddy bear always gets the kiss on the keppi. David Gerwin and Lisa Gerstein: Our four-year-old daughter likes to bless everyone by putting her hand on people s heads and saying a blessing in her secret language. It is great to see her feel that she has the power to bless folks and not just receive blessings. Our hope is that as she gets older her blessings will be more substantial than just waka, waka, waka. Who knows, though. Kiddush One adult recites over one cup for everyone Everyone who wishes to recite does so, one after the other Everyone sings together Everyone has a cup After blessing, pour from one cup into several smaller ones Use Israeli wine Shabbat Meal Alone or with family Use ingredients that bring you the most pleasure Put on music Turn off the phone Eat slowly and at length enjoy! Decorate with flowers and colorful placemats Say prayers to give thanks motzi for a start Turn the Shabbat table into an altar where each family member can bring something to share - 4 -
Rest Shabbat Box to hold everything you don t need on Shabbat pens, car keys, wallets, etc. (like the box into which you empty your pockets at the airport); can include symbolic items, like a floppy disk for the computer Another Shabbat Box: Leave notes on small pieces of paper of the things you feel are undone, to be left behind for the time being. Let one heavily used appliance rest Unrepentant napping Spend some time in nature walk, bike, sail, nap outdoors Take off your work clothes and your shoes put your feet in the grass Thinning Let go of one thing you don t need. Feel release as you let it go an unread book, an old appliance, clothing, a project that feels like a responsibility but isn t bringing joy to anyone Shabbat Walk Without purpose or destination Without a need for insight, revelation, or problem-solving Linger where you feel drawn Follow your own rhythm Silence Take a morning hike with family or a friend in silence for 2-3 hours. Then, when you stop for lunch, share what you saw/experienced shapes, fragrances, sounds, colors, etc. Things find their way deeper into our body when we are not in such a hurry to spit them back out. Breathing/Meditation Vayinafash (1) and God rested; (2) and God exhaled Creation = inhaling; Shabbat = exhaling - 5 -
Cleansing Play Hand-washing at Shabbat meal Bath time fragrances, candles, music Make inviolable time to play with children, spouse, friends. Sing, play an instrument Morning Rituals Prayer -- Modeh Ani, Elohai When we close our eyes for just a moment and let the mind rest in the heart. Take special care to guard your tongue before the morning prayer. Even greeting your fellow, we are told, can be harmful at that hour. A person who wakes up in the morning is like a new creation. Begin your day with unkind words, or even trivial matters even though you may later turn to prayer, you have not been true to your Creation. All of your words each day are related to one another. All of them are rooted in the first words that you speak. An old Hasidic poem When you wake up, don t get up. Stay in bed. Give yourself time to review your dreams. Luxuriate in the softness of the bed, watch the light coming in, read a little, day dream, make love; don t feel your responsibilities. Do something frivolous; invent a ritual. Study a text Torah, Midrash, a book of quotations, The Book of Words, Journal your reactions and responses to the text - 6 -
Havdallah Leave Shabbat time mindfully Flowers from the celebration of special occasions, like weddings, anniversaries, graduations and housewarmings, can be dried and added to your besamim (spices) collection. Sabbath Pause Take Shabbat into the rest of the week with a Sabbath Pause. Choose one common act where, each time, you ll take three silent, mindful breaths and then go on. - 7 -