Intimacy NOW & FOREVER SEXUALITY/IDENTITY DEFINED TO BE EMBRACED NOT ALTERED Darien B. Cooper!1
ESTABLISHED BEFORE THE FOUNDATION Once upon a time when there was no time, on the corner of nowhere where there was nothing, there was a meeting. The Father, the Son, and Holy Spirit were talking about how they loved loving each other delighting in the intimate family they were together. There was perfect goodness always flowing between them without a shadow of anything evil. There was no fear of things turning sour even though they were unmistakably distinct. They were always thrilled in each other s uniqueness and would stop at nothing to allow each to display their special glory without any competitiveness. Each had their special role and function. Love flowed with perfect oneness and unity. Let s expand our family so We can share our love with other family members, they said. Jesus said, Yes, I would like to give my Father many more sons like myself. Father said, Yes, I would like to give my Son a Bride. Holy Spirit said, I would like to whisper Abba to the fatherless and present Jesus as the perfect Lover to the unloved and unlovable. I want to allow them to experience and know the incredible love poured forth between Father and Son. What a delight to reveal Father s plan and Jesus provision so that Our love can not only be released to our family but also released upon the earth. Father wrote out a detailed plan in the Book of Life for each of His next of kin. Jesus said, I will pay the price for that plan to be fulfilled. Holy Spirit said, I will execute the plan. And so the extension of God s family began. Yes, you heard correctly. You were formed before the foundation of the world to be His own with full family blessings and benefits! He created, male and female, in his own image. He breathed into his nostrils the breath or spirit of life. Then He said, My chosen one is very good suitable, pleasant and I approve of you completely. HIS HAND AT WORK Our God s involvement of your very creation released from the heavenly realm to the earth realm is confirmed in Psa. 139:13-15. For You have formed my inward parts; You have covered me in my mother s womb. I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; marvelous are Your works, and that my soul knows very well. My frame was not hidden from You, when I was made in secret, and skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. There were no mistakes. He created your gender, your genetics, your ethic placement, your geographical location, your talents and your gifting s. Each aspect is to fit into His beautiful plan for your life. He is rich because of you. He has an inheritance from you and to you that only you can fulfill. You alone are designed to!2
reveal and manifest a facet of His glory that no one else can do. What a critical role you are to fulfill. As your heart embraces His truths and His handiwork in you, your identity is established and set in to place. Ephesians 2:10 and 1:3-5 describes His heart toward us. For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them. Blessed be the God and father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ, just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love He packed within us each and everything needed for a full and abundant life. Our job is to embrace His ways and His will and partner and cooperate with Him to live according to His plan applying the provision Jesus made on the cross for each of us. YOUR CALLING You are called to enter into an intimate family relationship with your God. You are called to enjoy a deep companionship with Father, as a son, and with Jesus as His Bride- to- be. As we receive Jesus Christ as our Savior, we become a family member. He comes to live within us as His temple. There is no greater privilege available to God s creation. Holy Spirit then leads us in this journey. Our life is to be spent developing and nurturing our love walk with our God. This is our calling to walk with Him in intimate fellowship enjoying companionship with Him as we partner in His life being lived through us. I Corinthians 1:9b describes this calling. by Him you were called into companionship and participation with His Son, Jesus Christ our Lord. As we live this calling we are fulfilling Galatians 2:20 which says. I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives I in me As a way of life our attitude and actions reflects these words. I can t. You never said I could. You can and always said you would. Lord, live in and through me now. As this is our focus, we release the fruit of the Spirit by faith as described in Galatians 5:22-23. This lifestyle is to be lived in every area of our life. In order to know God s plan, live life fully with no regrets, it must be established on that which does not change God s Word. YOUR SOLID ANCHOR The winds of time changes according to the latest philosophy, psychological discoveries, revolutionary ideas, titillating mysteries that promises the best life yet. On and on goes the many litany of paths traveled to seek a better life, a fulfilling life, and a life for which we can give ourselves. The winds are continually changing. However, there is an answer that does not change with time. It is the Word of God. It is the manual written by!3
our Creator who created us, gave His life for us, and who knows exactly what we need and when we need it. His Word is Jesus written down. Its purpose is described in II Timothy 3:16-17. Every Scripture is Godbreathed given by His inspiration and profitable for instruction, for reproof and conviction of sin, for correction of error and discipline in obedience, and for training in righteousness [that is, in holy living in conformity to God s will in thought, purpose and action], So that the man of God may be complete and proficient, well-fitted and thoroughly equipped for every good work. God wants the best for us. He wants to protect us from pain, deception and the loss of our inheritance and his inheritance through us. He promises us that He will fulfill His Word. All of it. Listen to what Matthew 5:17-19 which says, Do not think that I came to destroy the Law or the Prophets. I did not come to destroy but to fulfill. For assuredly, I say to you, till heaven and earth pass away, one jot or one tittle will by no means pass from the law till all is fulfilled. He goes on to show the importance of His word as confirmed in Psalms 138:2b. for You have exalted above all else Your name and Your word, and You have magnified Your word above all Your name! Yes, God s Word does not change. It is our anchor and on which our lives are to be lived which enables us to walk with Him in the intimate relationship for which we were called. Hebrews 6: 19-20 verifies. This hope we have as an anchor of the soul, both true and steadfast, and which enters the Presence behind the veil, where the forerunner has entered for us, even Jesus. As His word is our road map, the authority of our lives, we will not be lead astray, deceived, and defiled or mislead. We can live with no regrets. However, the enemy sees the specialness of our creation, and he is jealous. He can only get to Jesus through us by robbing, stealing and destroying the inheritance Jesus has from us and our inheritance in Him. The enemy does this by getting us to not walk in Jesus presence continually surrendering our right to ourselves to Him which causes us to live according to the desires of our carnal flesh. CRUEL COUNTERFEIT The proper, holy intimate family relationship we are called to enjoy is the target of Satan s jealousy. He does not create anything, but seeks to counterfeit everything our Lord creates out of his hatred, jealousy and evilness. Satan s method of hurting our Lord is through us, His beloved, the ones He loves. Therefore he seeks to defile, distort, and pervert the pure intimacy Father has with his next of kin His royal sons/daughters. This relationship is modeled by Jesus with His Bride. If the enemy can counterfeit or derail our intimacy with God, he blocks the flow of God s life, God s love to us and God s presence. That is the reason sexuality is so important. Sex is the most intimate, physical relationship two human beings can experience. When is it misused, it can block our intimacy with God which is our life source because the two intimacies are interwoven. Earthy marriage, the most intimate of earthly relationships, is to be a mirror image or a reflection on earth of Jesus relationship with His Bride for eternity. Because this relationship is so strategic, the enemy does!4
everything he can to pervert, defile, distort or disrupt marriage. God says marriage is to not only be a blessing but to also be used to establish a stable, solid foundation for multiplying and taking dominion of the earth. He says in Hebrews 13:4, Let marriage be held in honor esteemed worthy, precious, [this is,] of great price and especially dear in all things. And thus let the marriage bed be [kept undishonored,] undefiled; for God will judge and punish the unchaste (all guilty of sexual vice) and adulterous. God does not judge or punish sexual vice because He is mad at us or wants to deprive us of fun. It is because He loves us so much and knows that if we live in a way that we were not designed to live it will bring consequences upon us that will cripple or destroy us. It will also bring dire consequences upon the one with whom we are immoral and upon our relationship with Him. Immorality or sexual vice is a diabolical scheme from which our loving Lord wants to protect us. We get to choose. God tells us some of the consequences of sexual relationships apart from His plan in the following Scriptures. Flee immorality. Every other sin that a man commits is outside the body, but the immoral man sins against his own body. I Cor. 6:18. Part of the harm to one s body takes the form of sexually transmitted diseases which not only robs us of health but can shorten our lives. abstain from fleshly lusts, which war against the soul. I Peter 2:11. Some harmful effects upon our soul are the loss of trust, guilt and shame which attack us and relationships that God wants us to enjoy. For the lips of a prostitute are as sweet as honey, and smooth flattery is her stock in trade. But afterwards only a bitter conscience is left to you, sharp as a double-edged sword. Proverbs 5:3-4. Living as we were not designed to live will affect our conscience robbing us of peace. God s word speaks clearly to the serious effects of violating His plan and design for our lives. In the following Scriptures He lists three levels of sexual sin (immorality, adultery and homosexuality) so we do not fall prey to the enemy s deceptive schemes. Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of God. I Corinthians 6:9-11. Our loving God expresses His heart for us in I Thessalonians. For God wants you to be holy and pure, and to keep clear of all sexual sin so that each of you will marry in holiness and honor. May your spirit and soul and body be preserved complete, without blame at the coming of our lord Jesus Christ. 4:3-4; 5:23. INTIMACY GUARDED Our identity and sexuality are easily intertwined. As we embrace our loving God s handiwork within us, we realize He knows us better than we know ourselves. He created us male or female to live by His power according to His plan. As we embrace this, we are headed for a good inheritance with hope and a good outcome.!5
He gave His Son, the Lord Jesus Christ, to die on the cross that His shed blood, when applied to our life, would bring about this inheritance. When the enemy comes to entice you by way of the lust of your flesh to engage in immoral behavior, run to Him trusting Him to live through you to crucify your flesh. Thereby you are not falling for the schemes of the enemy. See Galatians 5:18-25. Carnal or fleshly enticements can easily begin with a tainted kiss through which intimacy can be aroused. One must guard against entering such intimacy if they are not with their marital partner. A kiss between two human beings indicates a desire for closeness and can open the door for intimacy. The same is true in our spiritual relationship with God. The Song of Solomon describes a spiritual kiss between Jesus and His Bride in 1:2. Let Him kiss me with the kisses of His mouth for your love is better than wine. These spiritual kisses could be compared to the stages of our walk with God. He draws us to Himself in a kind, personal, wholehearted commitment as we receive Jesus as our Savior in salvation. I call this transaction a kiss of reconciliation and peace. His death on the cross bridged the gap between you and Father bringing reconciliation and peace. You are now headed to heaven. This is a gift of grace provided by Jesus shed blood. The last part of the verse, calls us to complete devotion to Him. He wants us to know that His love is better than wine anything this world has to offer. This can be described as the kiss of love and communion or our growth and maturity in Him. This process is talked about in Philippians 2:12 when it says to work out your salvation with reverence and awe and trembling. This is done as we walk in His presence as a way of life surrendering to His will and not giving in to our ways and desires. When we guard our earthly relationships keeping them pure as God planned, we will enjoy a love, oneness and unity that blesses and gives joy in this sacred relationship with Him and our earthy marital relationship. It will reflect and portray our growing relationship with our Bridegroom, the Lord Jesus Christ, now and for eternity GOOD NEWS OF HOPE You might say, There is no hope for me. I have not only sinned by being immoral in sex outside of marriage, but I have also gone to the end of the road as Romans 1 describes into homosexuality. God s word says in Romans 3:23, All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. Father foresaw the fact that given free will we each would sin. He made provision for such sin by allowing His Son, the Lord Jesus Christ, to pay for each and every one of our sins, past, present and future as He hung on the cross more than 2000 years ago. Jesus said, It is finished. John 1:12 affirms if we receive His provision for our sins, His shed blood, we become His child, His next of kin. But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, even to those who believe in His name: When we receive Jesus Christ as our Savior, this interchange is described as the kiss of reconciliation and peace. Then we learn to walk with Him crucifying our flesh, described as the kiss of love and communion.!6
Repent to Him for your disobedience in sexual immorality. Receive the payment of His shed blood on the cross for your sin. Rise up to walk in a newness of life through His resurrection power within you. If your life has been damaged by sexual abuse, forgive your abuser and forgive yourself. Give the hurt, pain and unhealed areas to Him for healing. Do the same if you have been involved in homosexuality. Know that you may need some extra help, counseling and extended time to change habit patterns and to get to the root of what lead you in this direction in the first place. Be patient with yourself and others as you recover from the pain of the past. Most of all, know that God understands your pain. He is not mad or angry with you. He is good and gives only good gifts. He never wanted these painful things to happen to you. When freedom of choice is given, we and others will make wrong decisions which not only hurt them but those around them. He says to you, And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. All things are not good, but if we give them to God and give ourselves to Him, He will work it for good. That is the awesome God we serve. He can take the painful and the awful, and draw us into His heart not only bringing healing, but strengthening us and giving us authority over these areas. This will bring transformation and restoration in our lives that brings heaven to earth through us. It s a lifetime process. In conclusion, live intimately in your relationship with God. Live honorably with each other. Accept your gender, genetics, ethic placement, geographic birth place, your talents and gifts knowing God knows best. Your identity will be established because you think about and accept yourself as He created you to be and live. Your sexuality will be a blessing and His unstoppable, joy will be released. 1 Kelly Varner, Chosen For Greatness (Shippensburg, PA: Des9ny Image, 2003),102. 2 Break ungodly soul/psychic 9es formed through sexual union outside of marriage. You may need to also break ungodly genera9onal inheritances. Consult your pastor or a prayer counselor for guidance.!7