Church of the Presentation 271 West Saddle River Rd. Upper Saddle River NJ 07458 www.churchofpresentation.org REPORT ON OUR PARISH LISTENING SESSION REGARDING THE ABUSE CRISIS Dear Parishioners, Once again I want to thank those who participated in our Listening Session which was held on September 5. I don t think I m exaggerating when I say this is a cataclysmic time in our Church history. I share your feelings and have no crystal ball telling me what happens next. But, I humbly believe that by coming together in faith as a community, our parish family can move forward knowing that the Holy Spirit is with us during this difficult time. I want to share the comments and feedback we received that evening; and as members of the Body of Christ, we will offer strategies and ideas to our Church leadership as to how we should move forward. This report has been sent to Cardinal Tobin as well as the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops. Yours in Christ, Fr. Bob 1
The Listening Session On Wednesday, Sept. 5, 2018 all parishioners were invited to a Listening Session on the abuse crisis. Over 200 attended. The purpose was to come together as a community to share our concerns and voice our feelings regarding what has happened, the near- and long-term implications for the church and the way forward. A team of parishioners has created this report to summarize what was shared that night. While it is impractical to capture all that was shared that night (over 200 people responding to 3 questions, dozens of speakers sharing their thoughts with the group at large), this report attempts to summarize the key themes and predominant sentiments shared. Please note that this is only a summary and reflection of the voices of those present for this session. We thank all who participated that night in this ongoing dialog as we confront these challenges humbly and openly together in faith. Overview An open invitation was issued to the parish community to gather for a listening session in the parish center. No RSVP was required, so it was difficult to predict attendance numbers. It is noteworthy that initial set up for the night anticipated 80 to 100 attendees; over 200 parishioners attended. Evening Format To facilitate respectful listening and sufficient opportunity to share our thoughts individually and collectively, tables of 8 were spread about the room. Fr. Bob opened the evening with a brief personal reflection on the pain of the latest news regarding clergy sexual abuse and current efforts within and beyond the church to combat this. Prayers and readings were offered by Fr. Ed and Fr. J.C. A parishioner with professional experience in group dynamics served as facilitator for the evening s sharing. Questions, Table Sharing, Group Sharing Three questions were distributed to help provide a starting point for reflection and discussion. Attendees were encouraged to write their thoughts on response sheets and submit them, if they were comfortable doing so, to be collated with all responses. There 2
was time for each table to discuss the questions, their reactions and any related thoughts at the table. Immediately following this, attendees were invited and encouraged to share reflections with the full group. A microphone was provided. Responses Written responses to the questions and related thoughts that participants chose to share were gathered at the end of the session. Participants were informed that these responses would be captured in a report (this report) and shared beginning with our parish community, the Archdiocese of Newark and the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops. Summarizing the Session While it is difficult to summarize every response, the majority of statements and reactions coalesced around several themes. Those themes are summarized below, along with some specific comments that typify the responses from the group at large. Word Cloud In addition to the written summaries that follow, a word cloud has been created to summarize the responses to each question. A word cloud is a visual representation of information, giving greater prominence to words that appear more frequently. The more times a word is used, the larger it will appear in the word cloud. Our parish team transcribed all submitted written responses and tabulated the number of times key words appeared in those responses. The word cloud program then represents the most frequently occurring words and phrases in a font type that is proportionate in size to the number of times that word was used in a response. The more frequently that word is used, the larger it appears in the word cloud. The resulting graphic provides a representative snapshot of the overall sentiments expressed in response to each question. Summary of Responses Question 1: What are the 2 or 3 most pressing feelings I am experiencing right now about the priest abuse crisis/cover up? What we heard is that parishioners are angry, sad and outraged at the abuse that occurred at the hands of trusted men of God, as well as the following cover-up by church officials. Horrible crimes took place in our church, in what is supposed to be a safe place for all people. Innocent children, men and women were put in harm s way. Parishioners expressed that they are disgusted, disappointed and disillusioned. Some 3
expressed feelings of collective shame and embarrassment as the actions of a few men have had horrific, lasting effect on millions of faithful Catholics. Sample responses: "Anger that this abuse could go on for so many years and no one in authority in the Church hierarchy did anything about it. The institution over the people! We have come a long way from the meanings of the gospels...things need to change." Disappointment, anger, disillusion, sadness, loss of center, willingness to explore other Christian communities (churches), fear of the loss of the churches, loss of any moral authority, anger at hierarchy not deeply acknowledging how deep the hurt goes among the laity. "I don't want to give up on the Catholic Church and faith, but I am very concerned how this affects young families and future generations. I feel shame for us as Catholics." "I am feeling betrayal of the trust placed in our priests, bishops, and all hierarchy. How will future generations of our children and grandchildren respect the church and those who serve? How can we, the church gain their trust and offer some assurances? Who will monitor the hierarchy and those in leadership at the Vatican level?" Word cloud of written responses to Q. 1 4
Question 2: What are the 2 or 3 most important things that you want church leadership at any level to know or think about? What we heard is that there needs to be change. Now. Punishment, reform, zero tolerance, removal, sanctions, accountability. Radical action needs to be taken to address this crisis and abuse of power. The structure of the Church hierarchy needs to change from seminaries, parishes, Dioceses, the College of Cardinals all the way to the Vatican. This culture of secrecy needs to be eradicated, and transparency needs to be abundant. Church leaders who are responsible for this crisis need to be removed, and new leadership needs to be put in place. Have we really lived up to the Vatican II vision of the people as the Church? Have we allowed that to happen at all levels? Attendees called for the laity to be raised to all levels of leadership in the Church, including the Vatican. They also expressed the need for women to have a stronger role, and a need to reconsider allowing priests to marry. Overall, trust has been broken and needs to be rebuilt. Sample responses: "Transparency - zero tolerance!" "Commitment to change." "The structure of our Church is not set up for justice. One bishop accountable to no one but the Pope. Women need to be included in leadership. Married priests." "Prosecute offenders like any other criminal offense." "Priests like any other members of our Church are subject to our civil laws." Rage, disgust, anger a threat to withhold support. Need to help victims, encourage unidentified victims to come forth. Psychological testing/formation in seminary. Besides all the legal issues, we need to form a papal commission to look at priesthood & ministry and all issues need to be examined celibacy, seminary formation, sexual theology, homosexuality, women's ordination. Allow civil authority to step in and investigate what is going on. No moving around of priests, no more secrecy question. Restructuring the church to give women a stronger role. Eliminate the All Male structure. Apply full disclosure to this issue and not sweep under the table. The church (bishops, priests, cardinals, pope) cannot police themselves. This, they have proven, unfortunately, over and over again now. There must be an outside lay board with credibility and expertise to review everything and make recommendations and these 5
must be promulgated and followed. Selection and formation of clergy must include input from lay people. Optional celibacy must be openly discussed. Vatican III Council to decide if priests can marry and revamp the seminary. Word cloud of written responses to Q. 2 6
Question 3: In a conversation with God, what would be the 2 or 3 most important things you want to tell Him to begin healing and promote positive change? Those in attendance expressed strong faith and seem comfortable with their relationship with God. It didn t seem like their faith is in question. Indeed, many were almost siding with God to say. Look what a mess our church has become.this is not your will..help us. Attendees expressed their hope that God grants us wisdom as the church proceeds to respond to this tragedy of abuse and mistrust, helping us promote healing and change on all levels. Granting humility to those in leadership, opening their eyes to what needs to change. Help us to have courage to make the changes that need to be made. Help us to use our anger to create change and help us to forgive. Send your Holy Spirit to purify the Church at all levels. Flip the tables, Lord, so truth can be revealed, corruption can end and healing and change can begin. Sample responses: Listen to the voice of your followers; in addition to your clergy. Change in the church is needed. Now is the time. I would tell Him we need the Holy Spirit to touch the hearts and souls of church leaders and laity and enable us together to create a safe place for us to share our love of Christ. To begin healing and promote positive change. Positive change not just promote make it happen good plan, good structure. It will take time, yes, but it will result in healing. Some victims will never recover money is not the answer for victims. They may never heal. The more I reflect, the more powerless I feel. This abuse of the faithful has been going on in one form or another for centuries. Power corrupts the vision of so many! Few can handle it. We are human, but we hold the priesthood above ourselves. They failed us. Enablers are just as guilty of the fraud. Heavenly Father- I know you must be weeping to see how the leaders of your church have betrayed you. I envision Jesus righteous anger when He turned over the tables in the temple. Now, Holy Spirit, please turn over the tables in your church. Please guide all of us who believe in our Lord Jesus Christ to remain faithful in you Lord. We need healing. Please help the truth be revealed so that the corrupt can be removed from power. 7
8 Word cloud of written responses to Q. 3