People Who Destroy Community (And What You Can Do About Them) Rich Nathan August 25, 2002 Nehemiah 13

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1 People Who Destroy Community (And What You Can Do About Them) Rich Nathan August 25, 2002 Nehemiah 13 As a pastor, I love learning about and thinking about what people are into. What the latest trends in the culture are all about. One of the major changes in America is the change from the rugged individualist, the person who doesn't need anyone, like the Grape Nuts guy, who could climb to the top of some rock formation in Utah, with his dog strapped to his back - just him, his dog and his Grape Nuts. There is shift from the rugged individualist, the guy who lives by his own rules - Dirty Harry, Frank Sinatra - I'll do it my way; there's been a shift in the last 20 years towards the seeking of community and relationships as the place for meaning. I may not find my meaning in life by climbing to the top of a mountain, or packing a 44 magnum. Maybe I'll find meaning and purpose in relationships with other people. You saw an early sign of this back in the 80's with the TV show, Cheers. Listen to the words of the Cheer's theme song: Making your way in the world today Takes everything you've got. Taking a break from all your worries Sure would help a lot. Wouldn't you like to get away Where everybody knows your name And they're always glad you came. You want to be where you can see That troubles are all the same You want to be where everybody knows your name. What I didn't know was that the Cheer's song actually has another verse that you haven't heard. It goes this way: You roll out of bed

2 And Mr. Coffee's dead. The morning's looking bright. Your shrink ran off to Europe And didn't even write. And your husband wants to be a girl Be glad there's one place in the world Where everybody knows your name. And they're always glad you came. You want to be where you can see Troubles are all the same You want to be where everybody knows your name. Where am I going to find fulfillment? Maybe not by looking inward; maybe by community, through relationships. That's what the show Friends is all about for the last 10 years. There are these people who virtually have no means of support, being able to live right across the hall from each other in two great New York City apartments. They are able to sit around and drink coffee all day. But they stick together. They hang with one another in good times and bad; through thick and thin; hurt, marriage breakups and pregnancies. They support each other. Their friendship gives meaning to one another's life. And the central message of the TV show Friends is captured in the theme song, I'll Be There For You. One member of the group promises: I'll be here for you. Why? Why will I be there for you? Because you're there for me too. There's a very noticeable shift in America of people wanting relationship, wanting community. There's a very popular chick-flick out right now - The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood. Now, even saying that name as a guy slightly gives me the willies. I've been told that it's our executive pastor's, Craig Heselton, favorite movie. Megan, my pastoral assistant, told me that the movie is about four girls who grew up in Louisiana and who form this little club. What you see in the movie are these four women who support each other into old age. They help each other with child-raising and all the various passages of life. I guess it is the female equivalent of City Slickers or Band of Brothers.

3 But you know the theme that runs through the Bible from the beginning to the end is the theme of community. Some people, some Bible scholars would say that community is THE theme of the Bible. In terms of the great stories of the Bible, some people would say that the great story of the Bible is the story of community. Here's how the story of the Bible goes. God who exists in eternal loving community as Father, Son and Holy Spirit [and listen to me now] - the God of Christianity is not some solitary lonely being. He is not the Grape Nuts guy or Dirty Harry living in isolated individualism. The God of Christianity is an eternal loving community - Father, Son and Holy Spirit. And this eternal loving community created humanity in his own image in community and for community. Here's what we read in Gen. 1: Then God said, Let us make man in our image; in our likeness. The one God who lives in an eternal plurality of persons, Father, Son and Holy Spirit, Let us make man in our image, in our likeness. So what does it mean to exist as humankind? We are eternally in community. V. 27, So God made man in his own image. In the image of God he created him, male and female, he created them. Not solitary man by himself, not solitary woman seeking meaning and purpose by plunging inward, but finding meaning and purpose in community, in relationship with each other. The story of the Bible is the story of creating community. The story of the Bible is the story of people destroying community. The story of the Bible goes on to God choosing to renew his original purpose for creation by restoring community. That's what salvation is. It's the working out of the purpose of God to restore community. Salvation is the restoration of community with God, with each other, with the whole of creation. What God did, in sending his son into the world to live a perfect life, to die as a substitute for us on the cross, and to rise from the dead, is to provide a way for community to come back together. Christ's death on the cross was a reconciling death. But you know there are people who simply don't get the purpose of God to create community. They don't get it. There are folks who come in to the church and they don't want to allow God to change some of their patterning. They come in with the same community-destroying behavior that, perhaps, they learned growing up. And they insist on replicating that behavior in the church. You can't be in a church very long without encountering a destructive person. Take the guy who comes to a divorce recovery group simply to hit on the women. Not to gain any insight regarding why his marriage broke down in the first place. He doesn't go to the divorce recovery group to get healed up, to become more honest, to refocus his life on the Lord, he goes to the group to hit on women. You can't be in a church for very long without encountering communitydestroying people, individuals who go from group to group just wreaking havoc - slandering the group leader, gossiping about individuals in the group, always offended, always bitter.

4 And of course relationship community-destroying behavior is found not only in the church, but also in many of our families. A husband is addicted to pornography. He's secretly on the Internet late at night looking at stuff he shouldn't be looking at, visiting chat rooms that he shouldn't be participating in. The wife finds terrible sites that have been downloaded into her husband's computer. In our own families we can find community-destroying behaviors. Family members who won't do their fair share of the work. They won't clean up after themselves. They won't pick up their dishes. Family members who are lazy or irresponsible, or overly dependent. As we look together at this last chapter in the book of Nehemiah, what we're going to talk about today are people who destroy community and what you can do about them. Let's ask the Lord's presence. What we find as we come to Nehemiah 13 is some of the same issues that were confronted and confessed back in Neh. 9 and 10 resurface again in 13. The issue of tithing, v. 10, I also learned that the portions assigned to the Levites had not been given to them and that all the Levites and singers responsible for the service had gone back to their own fields. So I rebuked the officials and asked the, Why is the house of God neglected? Then I called them together and stationed them at their post. The issue of Sabbath breaking, v. 15, In those days I saw men in Judah treading winepresses on the Sabbath and bringing in grain and loading it on their donkeys, together with wine, grapes, figs and all other kinds of loads. And they were bringing all this into Jerusalem on the Sabbath. And then the issue of intermarriage, v. 23, Moreover, in those days I saw men of Judah who had married women from Ashdod, Ammon and Moab. Half of their children spoke the language of Ashdod or the language of one of the other peoples, and did not know how to speak the language of Judah. What we find in Nehemiah 13 is a new crisis, the crisis of a lack of follow through. The crisis of people who drift away from their commitments to God and to each other. Let me refresh your memory a little bit. If you'll turn back to Nehemiah 9, which we studied just a few weeks ago, the people of Israel get together after hearing God's law read and they confess their sins. There is this confession that goes on for three hours. It was the confession of sin, a confession of God's greatness. And following this lengthy heart felt confession; the people of God enter into a binding covenant with the Lord, v. 38: In view of all of this, we are making a binding agreement, putting it in writing and our leaders, the Levites and the priests are affixing their seals to it. We read about that

5 covenant. It was a personal commitment. Fifty seven leaders listed in ch. 10 along with Nehemiah signed it. It was a public commitment. They made this agreement in front of everyone. It was a practical commitment touching four areas of life - sex, power, work, and giving. So we have this lengthy, heart-felt confession and then this personal public, practical covenant that gives wheels to the confession. It brings the confession down to earth. There were certain commitments. And all of this was followed by a glorious worship service that we read about last week in ch. 12:43, And on that day they offered great sacrifices rejoicing because God had given them great joy. The women and children also rejoiced. The sound of rejoicing in Jerusalem could be heard far away. It was like an amazing weeklong conference where people come in guilty and ashamed, busted up. The first few days are spent in soul-searching and confession. The next couple of days are spent in renewing commitments and reconciling relationships. The last night there is this mind-blowing worship service. Everyone comes out on this high. They've been to the mountain. What happens when people come down off the mountain? They leave the conference and go home charged up, cleaned up and recommitted. Do we not often find, friends, that drifting takes place in many people's lives? One month, three months, six months down the road they are back doing the same thing that they confessed and repented of when they were on the mountain. That's what Neh. 13 is all about. It's about the human tendency to drift, to walk away from our commitments. Nehemiah 13 is about the all too common failure of follow through. You see this all through the Bible, by the way, this tendency to have commitments erode, to have really good intentions, but really terrible follow through. Back in the book of Judges after Joshua dies, we read of continual drift. The people walk away from their commitment to the Lord God. They begin to worship and serve all the gods of the nations. You see the drift in the life of even as great a man as King Solomon. He's given everything by the Lord. He has the gift of wisdom. He's given wealth and power and position. Towards the end of his life in 1 Kings 11 you see this drift. His heart is drawn away by his many wives and he begins to worship and serve other gods. The lack of follow through is expressed in these tragic words in Hosea 6, What can I do with you, Ephraim? Hosea is addressing the northern kingdom of Israel. What can I do with you, Ephraim? What can I do with you, Judah? The southern kingdom of Israel. Your love is like the morning mist, like the early dew that disappears. Have you ever found that out about yourself? That you make these great commitments to God or to other people, but it's like the morning mist, like

6 the dew that's on the ground that burns off with the heat of the sun? There's no follow through. Jesus talks about some people being like seed that falls on shallow soil. They are so excited. They embrace Christ. They run forward at a meeting and tell people they are saved. Then a month, or three months, six months later they are nowhere to be found. The apostle Paul frequently talks about the problem of drift and follow through. The problem shows up in the life of a man named Demas, one of Paul's companions. One of his church planting team. Towards the end of the book of Colossians 4:14, we read, Our dear friend, Luke, the doctor, and Demas send greetings. Luke and Demas are close associates of Paul's. They are partners in the evangelistic work and church planting work that Paul was carrying out. But a few years later we read this in 2 Tim. 4:9-11. Paul writes, Do your best to come to me quickly for Demas (this one who was a close associate, a companion, a partner in the work of the gospel), has deserted me and gone to Thessalonica. Only Luke is with me. Someone once said that only one in four leaders in the Bible finish life well. There is a spiritual principle, friends, that a healthy spiritual life at one moment does not in any way guarantee a healthy spiritual life a month later, or a year later, or a decade later. It is so easy to let commitments slip and to drift away. Every team leader knows of kids in their youth group who are turned on in high school. They are reading their bibles, they are witnessing, they are praying for other teens. Then they go off to college. And in a few months they let things slip, the fire gets turned down lower and lower, almost without their notice, until they lose it completely. They stop reading the Bible. They are not in fellowship. They are dating outside the faith. They are doing things that they used to argue with their friends about when they were in high school. Have you seen this tendency to drift in your own life? A move away from the things that you had committed yourself to? That one moment things are so clear, so crystal clear what you need to do, what life is about, what really will make a difference, and then you drift away. Do you see this tendency towards spiritual erosion in your life, friend? Are you aware of people who have drifted away? Listen now, there is a basic law of the kingdom of God that you cannot persevere as a believer in Jesus Christ unless you are a strong belonger to his church. Without community you cannot keep your commitment. I want you to hear this now. There are hundreds of you who over the last year have made commitments to Christ here at the Vineyard. You've stood up in our meetings and have come forward. You've received prayer and signed decision cards. You've received materials and have received letters from me or another pastor. But if you don't have close Christian fellowship regularly, if you don't plunge yourself into Christian community and Christian relationship, I guarantee you this, you simply

7 will not be following Jesus Christ closely in six months or a year. Perhaps you are already seeing drift in your life. The reason why I talk with you regularly about getting involved in a small group is there is a law of the kingdom of God. You cannot be a strong believer unless you are a strong belonger. You cannot be a close follower of Christ unless you are knit into deep Christian relationships. If you want to pursue God for the long haul, if you just don't want to run a sprint and burn out and drift away, but you want to run a marathon, then you must connect to a small group, to a community of people with whom and before whom you can begin to live an open and transparent life. And some of you who used to enjoy that kind of fellowship need to reconnect to a small group - women's group, a men's gathering. If you've been a follower of Jesus for a few years, what I want to ask you to do is to call to mind the names of people you know who were really excited about their Christian faith at one time but who no longer attend or who have drifted from their initial excitement. Maybe they were in a small group with you. Maybe they were in the church with you. Maybe they were serving in a ministry side by side with you like Demas. But they drifted away. Perhaps they became alienated because something happened in the group that hurt them, something happened to a family member, maybe busyness took over. They got caught up in their jobs. They got caught up in school and career climbing. They were caught up with making it. They were caught up with their children. But they are clearly drifting. They are no longer showing up at group or church. It is obvious to you that the fire in their life has been turned down. What do you do with those who have drifted? One approach is apathy, to do nothing. To say, Yeah, yeah, a person does come to my mind who used to be in our group, or in our church, but he's drifted away. But that's not my responsibility. After all, doesn't the Bible say, Am I my brother's keeper? The Bible does say that, but that phrase was first spoken by a man named Cain, who hated his brother and was a destroyer of community. It's easy in a big church to say, Well, there's plenty of fish in the sea, to rationalize and say, Well, that's their choice if they want to drift away. Listen, this person who has drifted away from your small group or women's group, or the church matters to God and they ought to matter to us. When we see a brother or sister drifting away from the church, the call of the Bible is to restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, Gal. 6:1. You know, we need hundreds of people in this church who will assume the role of restorer, people who will take the time to make a phone call, to schedule a lunch, to make a commitment. If we see the walls going up, instead of saying, I'm too busy; it's not my job as folks become alienated because they are hurt,

8 they become alienated because one of their prayers regarding their children or their marriage or work situation goes unanswered, so they become angry with God and start walking away, we need hundreds of people who will say, I am my brother's keeper. Of course you may not be successful. Of course they may not be interested. Of course they may reject your outstretched hand. But what if they don't? What if God was already drawing them and your hand was all it took to pull them back to Christ? What if you were used by God not only to rescue them but through them to touch their children and grandchildren? The world is desperate for people who will rescue. Now, some people are not involved in drifting behavior, some people are involved in destructive behavior. Drifting, I think of things that just hurt the individual. They start falling back into old patterns. They are leaving the church. They are acting out with wrong friends. But destruction, I'm thinking of behavior that hurts other people, for example, trying to live with an addict. You have a family member who is regularly using drugs or a wife or mother of two preschoolers who is an alcoholic. She's falling asleep with the iron on or with a cigarette burning, or one of her little ones is wandering outside without supervision while she is drunk, or she is driving drunk, or the house is a mess. By destructive behavior, I mean the verbally or physically abusive husband or boyfriend or the small group member who slanders the group leader and goes from person to person attacking the group leader or the church. What do you do with that? In Neh. 13 we read about community destroying behavior. The Temple is defiled in vv. 4-5, Before this, Eliashib the priest had been put in charge of the storerooms of the house of our God. He was closely associated with Tobiah, and he had provided him with a large room formerly used to store the grain offerings and incense and temple articles, and also the tithes of grain, new wine and oil prescribed for the Levites, singers and gatekeepers, as well as the contributions for the priests. Tobiah, the Ammonite, was Nehemiah's old enemy. He hunted Nehemiah in chapter 4 and 6 with Sanballat, another Gentile enemy of Nehemiah and the Jews. Tobiah had plotted Nehemiah's downfall. When direct assault didn't work, Tobiah substituted seduction and subterfuge. He begins to make friends with some of the powerful Jews in Jerusalem. He marries his way into one of the leading families. His son married into another leading family. He is closely connected through marriage with the high priest. He's not only worked his way into powerful circles, but he's worked his way into the Temple. Have you ever had a dispute with someone that didn't get resolved? You call a person on something, which they reject and then you see them beginning to work

9 your circle. They are starting to hang out with your friends. They are almost deliberately picking off individuals in your small group, women's group or men's group. They are hanging around with folks who are a little alienated and disenfranchised. That's Tobiah. And Tobiah's presence as an Ammonite is defiling the Temple of God. The New Testament tells us the church is God's Temple. And it is certainly possible for people with community-destroying behavior to defile the church. I just got a call from an old friend who worked for a very well known Christian publisher, not the publisher who published my book, but another very well known publisher. He said that the CEO of his company, a professed Christian has been committing adultery with a woman in the office, who is also a professed Christian. The adultery has become known throughout the office. My friend has talked with him, but he's rejected his overtures. He claims that my friend doesn't understand. That his marriage was already failing and suggesting that there's nothing wrong with his adultery. He's married and she's married. They are carrying on a sexual affair. They are running a Christian publishing company, but he is suggesting that his behavior is OK in his case. My friend called and said, Rich, what do I do? I asked how this man's behavior was affecting the company. He said, It is a disaster. I've got secretaries and other office workers coming to me threatening to quit. They say they can't be in this kind of environment. Community-destroying behavior. And we see the tithes and the Sabbath neglected. V. 10, I also learned that the portions assigned to the Levites had not been given to them, and that all the Levites and singers responsible for the service had gone back to their own fields. So I rebuked the officials and asked them, Why is the house of God neglected? Then I called them together and stationed them at their posts. V. 15, In those days I saw men in Judah treading winepresses on the Sabbath and bringing in grain and loading it on donkeys, together with wine, grapes, figs, and all other kinds of loads...men from Tyre who lived in Jerusalem were bringing in fish and all kinds of merchandise and selling them in Jerusalem on the Sabbath to the people of Judah. What we see here is the neglect of the tithe and of the Sabbath. Here's another illustration of community-destroying behavior - greed destroys God's community. The payment of tithes for the Levites support was crucial for the continuing of their work. The priests lived on the allotted portions given to them by the tithe

10 money. If the tithe money was withheld, God's voice through the priests was silenced. God's ministry through the priests was abandoned. They went back and had to work in the fields. There's an enormous amount of Christian work today and Christian service that does not go on because of selfishness of God's people. That there isn't a full tithe given to God's work. People are not being fed. Missions are not being launched. Bibles are not being translated. Pastors are not being hired. Children are not being cared for because of the community-destroying behavior of greed. We don't give the way we should. Then there is a family corrupted in v. 23, Moreover, in those days I saw men of Judah who married women from Ashdod, Ammon and Moab. One of the things pointed out in this text is when we are in a spiritually mismatched marriage; it has a spiritually destructive affect on our children. V. 24, Half of their children spoke the language of Ashdod, or the language of one of the other peoples and did not know how to speak the language of Judah. Here's another reason to not date outside the faith and not to marry outside the faith - it has a spiritual affect on your children. Even if you believe that your faith can handle a non-christian spouse, even in you are willing to violate God's clear commandment against this practice, pause and ask yourself, What will the spiritual affect be on any children that we might have? How devoted to Jesus Christ will a child be being raised by an unbelieving father, or an unbelieving mother? What do you do when you see someone involved in community-destroying behavior? They are hurting your small group? They are hurting your family? They are hurting the church? Well, there are some people who cannot simply say no. Eliashib was one of those people. V. 4, Before this, Eliashib the priest had been put in charge of the storerooms of the house of our God. He was closely associated with Tobiah, and he had provided him with a large room formerly used to store the grain offerings and incense and temple articles, and also the tithes of grain, new wine, and oil prescribed for the Levites, singers and gatekeepers, as well as the contributions for the priests. As a priest, Eliashib would have known the commandment found in v. 1, On that day the book of Moses was read aloud in the hearing of the people and there it was found written that no Ammonite or Moabite should ever be admitted into the assembly of God. Eliashib was one of those folks who could not say no. Unduly compliant people, people who are unable to say stop that. That's wrong. I disagree. I don't want to do that.

11 Do you know anyone who just melts under other people's demands? Anyone who has frequently become a dishrag or a doormat who can't say no to what is wrong? Are any of you like that? Overly compliant? No matter how absurdly another person is acting, no matter how destructive their behavior is, you simply can't draw the line and say, Knock it off. I see parents like this in restaurants all the time. They have a small child who is just kicking the back of their chair over and over again, or they are throwing things and bothering the other patrons in the restaurant. And yet, they don't say anything. They are oblivious. They can't draw lines. Or you see a child acting up in a grocery store. They are screaming and demanding some candy. Mom or dad just sort of blithely acquiesces to this little Hitler's demands. I once met with a woman whose husband, the day before, had called her from his girlfriend's house. He wanted to take her out for dinner. She came in to inquire whether or not she ought to go out that evening for dinner with him. And she became upset when I challenged her and said, You need to get some backbone. You need to stop being a dishrag. You need to learn the words no, stop it, because until you do, he will never respect you. There is no possibility that you will become a person worthy of love. Many of you can't say, no, you are overly compliant, you can't draw the line - most of the reason is fear. You are afraid of hurting other people's feelings. You are afraid of being selfish. If I don't immediately drop everything and just run to meet their needs, I'm selfish. You are afraid of dealing with this other person's anger, their pouting, and their rejection. You are afraid of being embarrassed. You can't say no because every time you do, you feel guilty. There are other people who can't hear the word no. Tobiah was certainly like that. Nehemiah to his face said, No. That just meant for Tobiah, Well, I've got to pull on some other doors. Sanballat was like that. Nehemiah to his face said, No. We read down in v. 28, One of the sons of Joiada son of Eliashib the high priest was son-in-law to Sanballat the Horonite. Some people have no place in their makeup for other people's no. They just violate every boundary, steamroll everyone, make the whole world fit their idea of the way things should work. You know, it is the kind of person who calls you every night as you are preparing dinner. They are the kind of person who corners you in a meeting or in a church and just won't stop talking. No matter how you try to massage them and excuse yourself, they pursue you and latch on to you. And when you try to draw a line and say, Look, I can't talk now. Then they take on the whole martyrdom, guiltmanipulative approach of, Well, I understand. Nobody really wants to talk with me anyway. I think people hate the fact that I'm sick or I'm old. I guess I will just sit here by myself.

12 Or they scream at you, You don't care about my feelings. You embarrassed me. They will punish you. What do you do with people who can't hear the word no who destroy community and who violate every boundary? Look at Nehemiah's behavior. This is the right approach. Verse 8, I threw out all of Tobiah's household good. Verse. 11, I rebuked the officials. Verse. 15, I warned them against selling food. Verse. 17, I rebuked the nobles of Judah. Verse. 21, I warned them and threatened if you do this again I will lay hands on you. Verse. 22, I commanded the Levites. Verse. 25, I rebuked them and called curses down on them. I beat some of the men and pulled out their hair. Verse. 28, I drove him away from me. John White, a wonderful Christian author and dear Christian friend of mine, who recently went to be with the Lord, said, An infinitely greater amount of damage has been done by people refusing to take any action than people who are overly aggressive. What you read in Nehemiah's behavior is love that is expressed by line drawing. You don't stop loving someone when you rebuke him or her. Some people believe that the moment you get in someone else's face, you are no longer loving. Well, God gets in our faces and yet he remains a God of love. Jesus got in people's faces. Some of the times, he really bawled his disciples out and yet he always remained loving. What we don't read about Nehemiah is I nagged them and nagged them and nagged them. Or I just threw up my hands and said, 'Live and let live; do whatever you feel like.' Or I pouted and thought of a thousand ways to try to embrace them and love them out of their sin and I went crazy trying to figure out why I was responsible for what they were doing. There is a time to get angry about community destroying behavior. There is a time for you to deal with bad behavior. There is a time when you are required to draw a line. There is a time for you to get some backbone and to look someone

13 in the eye who is destroying your family, or destroying your group, and say, Enough. Stop it. The apostle Paul, when he lays out the job description of a pastor, here is what he says, Preach the Word, be prepared in season and out of season, correct, rebuke, and encourage with great patience and careful instruction. Sometimes as a leader you have to say to someone, Stop it. Nehemiah holds people responsible for their actions. Nehemiah allows people to suffer the consequences of their bad behavior. He doesn't cushion every fall. If that's what you want to do, fine. But you can't stay in the Temple of God and do that. You can't stay in the church and do that. You can't stay in our family and do that. You can't stay in my group and do that. Do you get it? As we come to the book of Nehemiah, I want to celebrate with you the life of a man who gave himself to the building of community. If you have any aspirations of ever being a leader, you can't do a whole lot better than to get your job description and marching orders from the book of Nehemiah. It really shows us what a Christian leader ought to be like. Christian leaders ought to be loving. He hears about the condition of the Jewish people and he mourns. He loves his people. Christian leaders ought to be sacrificial. Nehemiah in ch. 2 gives up his career as a leader and a supervisor to the king in order to promote the welfare of God's people. Christian leaders ought to be prayerful. Throughout the book Nehemiah is always praying for the people, praying for God's purpose. He believes that God can make a difference. That it is not all up to him. That God needs to intervene. Nehemiah is a resolute man. He is not easily distracted by problems. Every leader is going to face problems. Nehemiah is able to keep his eyes fixed on the goal. He is administratively gifted. He is able to organize a huge organization. He is bold and willing to deal with problems. I love leaders and people who will clean up messes in the church. They are not avoiders. They are not doormats. I love leaders who will deal with community destroying behavior. I love leaders who are mature enough to suck it up and have been able to, by training, overcome their fears of not being liked, and their fears of being yelled at and rejected. Nehemiah is a worshipper. He engages throughout the book in passionate, emotional worship. Most of all, Nehemiah is a man who wants to receive from God in the end a Well done, thou good and faithful servant when he stands before the Lord in

14 judgment. Over and over in chapter 13 he says, Remember me, O Lord. V. 14, Remember me for this, O God, and do not blot out what I've so faithfully done for the house of my God and its servants. Verse 22, Remember me for this, O my God, and show mercy to me according to your great love. Verse 30, Remember me with favor, O my God. People who build up the church are people who have one eye on the judgment seat of Christ. They want to hear from the mouth of Jesus Christ, Well done. You did great, son. You did great, daughter. Let's pray.

15 People Who Destroy Community (And What You Can Do About Them) Rich Nathan August 24-25, 2002 Nehemiah: Leadership in a Time of Crisis Nehemiah 13 I. Community As God's Purpose (Gen. 1:26,27) II. Community-Damaging People A. People Who Drift (Jdg. 2:6-10; 1 Kings 11; Hos. 6:4; 2 Tim. 4:10,11) 1. The Wrong Response: Apathy (Gen. 4:9) 2. The Right Response: Restoration (Gal. 6:1-5) B. People Who Destroy 1. Community Destroying Behavior a. The Temple Defiled (Neh. 13:4-9) b. The Tithe and Sabbath Neglected (Neh. 13:10-22) c. The Family Corrupted (Neh. 13:23-28) 2. The Wrong Response a. People Who Can't Say No (Neh. 13:4,5) b. People Who Can't Hear No (Neh. 13:4-9) 3. The Right Response: Rebuke III. Community-Building People 2010 Vineyard Church of Columbus