Details: - Sign-up sheet: - Next meeting: THREE WEEKS - Nov. 7th - If you are looking for accountability/mentor/connection

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1 Iron Leadership - October 17, 2014 Iron Leadership Purpose: "To act like men" by: Equipping men to be better leaders in their own personal lives, their homes, their work, their churches and city for the sake of God's Glory." Details: - Sign-up sheet: - Next meeting: THREE WEEKS - Nov. 7th - If you are looking for accountability/mentor/connection Prayer: Leon Pruzan David and Jonathan - I Samuel 18 & 20 ** Inspiring Video: Every man can appreciate that moment when another man says: "I believe in you, I've got your back, I will fight alongside of you" Sometimes Hollywood captures that inspiring moment. (Video - Land of the Lost) So Funny! - Well, today we want to talk about real friendship among men. First let me say, as a guy, I have found few things as powerful or inspiring as a group of men being together & fighting for//pursuing the same goal. **Photo - FCA picture: There is something uniquely powerful, energizing, inspiring, motivating - influential about seeing a group of men bonded together. Transition: I want to look at relationship between David and Jonathan Jonathan Background: J - King Saul's first born son and in line to be the next King of Israel J - (Ch 14) with just an armor-bearer, defeats a garrison of 20 Philistine soldiers - which leads to resounding defeat of the Phil. J - Following the victory, J not King Saul is said to be the savior of Israel J - His leadership produced incredible loyalty from other men.

2 EX: 14:6-7 & 14:44-45 David then eclipses Jonathan: D - Is declared by God to be the next King of Israel D - (Ch 17) by himself defeats Goliath -which leads to a resounding defeat of the Phil. D - Following the victory, D not King Saul is hailed as the savior of Israel D - His leadership produced incredible loyalty from other soldiers. Jonathon and David Meet: Chapter 18 What would you expect? Rivalry, Bitterness, Envy - Instead a remarkable Unity and Friendship...see it displayed in 3 ways: Think about these three components in your own friendships. Sacrifice Unbreakable Covenant Loyalty Expressive Emotional Affection 1. Sacrifice - I Samuel 18:1-4 (READ) Really we see all three components in these verses. But what I want us to see is Jonathan's sacrifice, not rivalry - bitterness - envy. (vs 3) - At the end of this covenant ceremony -- Jonathan does a 180 from what's expected. (vs 4) He strips himself of his robe and weapons and gives them to David, in effect saying: "You are my King - I will serve you!" David would take precedent, Jonathan would sacrifice. The reader is intended to notice the contrast between Jonathan's response to David and Saul's response to David. Saul was emotionally immature - (Ch 18-19) Saul's relationship with David was marked by Jealousy & Fear...eventually Saul tried to kill David. Sacrifice promotes friendship, Jealousy & Fear destroy relationship.

3 What's your emotional gauge read in developing friendships with other men - are you Emotional Mature to Sacrifice? Can these kind of sacrificial friendship develop in the Business World? NOTE: Shadow of Christ - a right relationship with Jesus (the true King) requires you to lay down your (robe & weapons) of being king of your own life - when you do - Jesus calls you friend. 2. Unbreakable Covenant Loyalty 18:3 & 20:8 - They make and affirm their covenant relationship. (probably dividing animals and declaring - "may it be to me as these animals if I am not faithful to our friendship" - so it's no small commitment. Loyalty tested: Chapter 20 - Saul has blown a fuse and is trying to kill David. David comes to Jonathan in great distress. David is on the run, he has been separated from his wife, he has been separated from his (career) position in Saul's kingdom, David is emotional turmoil (20:1 - "What have I done?") David is probably questioning God's plan about making him King - - Under this enormous stress David comes to Jonathan his friend - -- Will his friend be faithful to him when it feels like everyone else is abandoning him? (Read 20:8 - "Deal kindly with me...") David is vulnerable and Jonathan is in the power position at this point. David is asking whether Jonathan will be loyal to his crazy father - Saul or to his covenant friendship with David. (Tough Test) Question: Do you have someone to turn to when all the wheels are falling off your life? Jonathan's verbal response: (READ 12-17) -- Jonathan is promises to be faithful, even encouraging David saying: "One day the Lord will cut off every one of your enemies" - (Jonathan knows that Saul and his people are enemies) - So he says to David: "One day David you will be in the power position...promise me my house will not be cut off forever.

4 *Now for the face to face test: (vs ) A Father's pressure... (vs ) Jonathan is loyal to David...warning David of the danger of his own father. David's Loyalty: II Samuel 9 (Following Jonathan's death and David being established as King. (When Kings usually put to death anyone associated with the previous family.) Test: Now that Jonathan is dead will David still remain loyal to earlier promises? II Sam 9 - Mephibosheth son of Jonathan, the son of Saul, came to David, bowed down and said, "What is your servant, that you should notice a dead dog like me?" David said, "Mephibosheth!" {Meph - this is where I get my head cut off.. Instead David responds 180 from what's expected} - "Don't be afraid," David said to him, "for I will surely show you kindness for the sake of your father Jonathan. I will restore to you all the land that belonged to your grandfather Saul, and you will always eat at my table."... So Mephibosheth ate at David's table like one of the king's sons." Question: Loyalty, Commitment - Long term faithfulness. How do these character traits factor into your friendships. Have you seen your friendships withstand tests? How did they turn out? 3. Expressive Emotional Affection 1 Sam 18: "The soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul 1 Sam 20: "David fell on his face to the ground and bowed three times before Jonathan...they kissed one another and wept with one another, David weeping the most. 2 Sam 1:26 - " I am distressed for you, my brother Jonathan; very pleasant have you been to me; your love to me was extraordinary, surpassing the love of women."

5 There needs to be some way (not the exact same for everyone) but some way you can express yourself emotionally with other men. Question: Have you seen this displayed with other men? Did you have this affection with your own Father? If you are a Father - do you have this with your son? Does all this seem weird to you? Why? Quesitons: (If something hits you between the eyes - say that first!) 1. Would you say you have strong, committed, loyal, emotionally mature and emotionally connected friendships with other men? 2. Do you have someone to turn to when all the wheels are falling off your life? How has that been important to you? 3. Loyalty, Commitment, Sacrifice - Long term faithfulness. How do these character traits factor into your friendships. Have you seen your friendships withstand tests? How did they turn out? 4. Have you seen this expressive emotional affection displayed with other men? Did you have this affection with your own Father? If you are a Father - do you have this with your son? Does all this seem weird to you? Why - Why not? 5. How have you been positively influenced by the power and influence of men having solid friendships?