This isn t just a social media thing though, is it?

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Michael Robinson
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2 Main Text: Psalm 88, Psalm 22 Main Idea: Jesus frees you from hiding and gives you a language of lament. INTRODUCTION On the television show Portlandia a satirical comedy centered on hipster culture in Portland, Oregon one episode highlights a conversation between the characters as Carrie and Alexandra look through Fred s endless photo album of the places he s traveled. Fred says, Everyone on the Internet? They re not having as great a time as you think they are. Carrie then comments to herself: I guess people are just cropping out all the sadness. We are experts at hiding. 1 We filter our lives and crop out the sadness so that everybody sees a version of us that is just fine. We hide the struggle and we put a filter to cover up the pain. Illustration opportunity: this is a perfect opportunity to give a simple example of how you ve experienced this on social media for example, I d share a story of my family and pictures of our dream Disney vacation that happens to leave out the meltdown moments. This isn t just a social media thing though, is it? Somebody passes you in the office and wants to know how you are doing I m fine. You re in your small group and it s your turn to talk; you ll share some struggles so that you 1 I use this scene as an illustration in Reading Romans with Luther, Concordia Publishing House, p. 11 1

3 appear vulnerable, but you ll leave out the real stuff - you ll find a way to pretend you have problems, just not big problems. Esther Fleece, in her book No More Faking Fine, described her own experience with this: I assumed God had healed my heart, because I couldn t feel pain anymore. Instead, I had simply mastered suppressing every emotion I ever felt, and I gave God credit for a healing I had never experienced. I was faking fine - not intentionally, not even consciously - but I was not really fine. - p We pretend we aren t that bad. We pretend we aren t really hurting. We pretend that it s really no big deal. We pretend that we re doing just fine. It s okay to not be okay. God did not come for the put-together, he came for the people who are a mess. He came for the people who are barely making it. He came for the train-wrecks who are trying to keep their mess a secret. He came for the widow who doesn t know how she s going to make it through the next week. He came for the dad who fears he s about to lose his family. He came for the family who just met with the doctor. And he came for you. But here s what I ve learned in these places where God 2

4 meets us. In these desperate moments and desperate places, when we ve lost the words to say many of us could benefit from recovering the lost language of lament. DEFINING LAMENT Lamenting is the passionate expression of our pain or grief. Laments aren t the church-friendly, polished prayers, they are the heart-felt, from-the-gut prayers. They are the kind of prayers that use the kind of honesty that might get you into trouble. Have you noticed that in your relationships, you tend to most passionately express your emotions to those you are close to? Jesus has secured our relationship by his work - which means your relationship won t be jeopardized by your honest, angry, doubting prayers. Let God hear it. If anyone can handle it, it s Him. All throughout the Scriptures, we find this kind of language. It s the language of lament. Moments where those who are closest to God get real with God. Moments where those who trust God don t pretend to be somewhere other than where they are. Look at your life - find the places of hurt, of anger, of frustration - and go to God with it all. Plea for help, cry out for rescue, protest injustice. One of the best places to learn the language of lament is in the Psalms. The Psalms are the prayer book of the Bible. And while we appropriately often associate the Psalms with worship, the Psalms aren t just the Jesus-is-my-boyfriend type songs - they are gut-wrenching cries of God s people. There are prayers of confidence that boldly confess, his loves 3

5 endures forever but there are also laments that cry, Why do you hide yourself in times of trouble? PSALM 88 Lord, you are the God who saves me; day and night I cry out to you. 2 May my prayer come before you; turn your ear to my cry. Notice the tone of this prayer. This is an honest cry. It s not a Psalm that you d sing to get you excited about church. It s the Psalm you d sing in those difficult moments. 3 I am overwhelmed with troubles and my life draws near to death. 4 I am counted among those who go down to the pit; I am like one without strength. This isn t the way that many of us like to think about our faith. Nobody wants to be weak. We want to be strong. We want to pray for strength. We assure ourselves, God wouldn t give us more than we can handle. But this isn t the way the Psalmist speaks here this is a cry that comes from a lack of strength. It s a cry that he can t handle it. He s tried and failed. He s run out of options. 5 I am set apart with the dead, like the slain who lie in the grave, whom you remember no more, who are cut off from your care. 6 You have put me in the lowest pit, in the darkest depths. 4

6 7 Your wrath lies heavily on me; you have overwhelmed me with all your waves. 8 You have taken from me my closest friends and have made me repulsive to them. I am confined and cannot escape; Have you ever had those moments when you were frustrated with God for what you were facing? Sometimes in those moments, I ve tried to hold back from blaming God. I don t want to put that on him. But what s interesting in this prayer - that doesn t seem out of bounds. 9 my eyes are dim with grief. I call to you, Lord, every day; I spread out my hands to you. 10 Do you show your wonders to the dead? Do their spirits rise up and praise you? 11 Is your love declared in the grave, your faithfulness in Destruction[e]? 12 Are your wonders known in the place of darkness, or your righteous deeds in the land of oblivion? What are the dark places in your life right now? When s the last time you were honest about those places? 13 But I cry to you for help, Lord; in the morning my prayer comes before you. 14 Why, Lord, do you reject me and hide your face from me? 5

7 What are the places where you feel like God is absent - the places where you suffer and feel like God is nowhere to be found? 15 From my youth I have suffered and been close to death; I have borne your terrors and am in despair. 16 Your wrath has swept over me; your terrors have destroyed me. 17 All day long they surround me like a flood; they have completely engulfed me. 18 You have taken from me friend and neighbor darkness is my closest friend. Do you feel like you are drowning? Hurting? Scared? Alone? This is a painful, honest prayer in the darkest moments. There s no altar call happening after this song. It ends with complete and utter despair in the dark place. And in the moments of your greatest pain, those kind of prayers are necessary. Not only are they necessary but God promises to meet you in those dark places as the God who hears you and suffers along side of you. What s incredible about the Psalms, is Jesus would have been quite familiar with these prayers. Growing up as a young Jewish boy, he would have memorized and recited these prayers often. In fact, it s because of this that in his own darkest moment, Jesus does just that - he turns to Psalm 22: My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? 6

8 And it continues, which Jesus certainly was familiar with as well: Why are you so far from saving me, so far from my cries of anguish? My God, I cry out by day, but you do not answer, by night, but I find no rest. In the desperate lament of Jesus on the cross, he meets you in your desperate places. Jesus is not unfamiliar with your pain, he knows it quite well. He knows the betrayal and the frustration. He knows the lies and the hurt. And in the midst of suffering, he feels like his own Father has turned his back on him. In your moment of suffering, Jesus suffers alongside of you. He prays your laments with you and weeps with you. In the dark places, Jesus is the light when it seems like all light has faded away. In the desperate places, Jesus gives you a strength that you couldn t find in yourself. In the broken places in your life, Jesus brings healing. But this all begins with an honest lament. Because we don t look for light, until we are honest about the dark. We don t look for a savior until we are desperate for rescue. We don t look for healing unless we know we are sick. 7

9 FAKING FINE ILLUSTRATION Listen to the words of this story from the author of the book No More Faking Fine: I had learned to fake fine by the time I was ten. As I walked down the long aisle on the way to the witness stand, the weight of how much I hated my life pressed against by chest like an anvil. Girls my age would typically dream of their wedding day while they played with Barbie dolls, but the only aisle I was accustomed to walking down was in a courtroom. You hardly have time to dream when you re in survival mode. She describes her traumatic childhood experiences that all come to a head when she was 10 years old. She is put on the stand when her father s lawyer removes something from a plastic bag - her diary. A diary that was filled with things her father told her to write - inciting evidence against her mother. And then she was asked to read the words. To everyone. Listen to how she describes that moment: I looked around frantically for help. Why wasn t anyone coming to my rescue? Didn t anyone care? I wanted to yell at my father. I felt violated in front of everybody. But I was also still so young and just wanted somebody to hold me. Instead, I fell out of my chair and onto the ground. I clung to my stuffed animal and wept bitterly. This was more than any little girl could handle. Just then, the judge - already towering over me - rose to his feet and said in a stern voice, Suck it up! 8

10 You probably haven t had that exact same experience. But most of us at some point have learned to fake fine. We ve learned that the way of life is sucking it up, hiding our problems, and burying it all deep down. We ve learned that to follow Jesus is to deal with all our problems ourselves and appear to have it all together. But the truth couldn t be further from that. Jesus frees you from hiding. Jesus frees you to be honest. Jesus came for the little girl who is alone on the stand. He came for the husband who just got betrayed. He came for the widow who just lost her husband to cancer. He came for the addict who lost everything because of his decisions. Jesus came for you. And he s not waiting for you to suck it up, he comes for you in the midst of the mess. And instead of asking you to clean up the mess, he wades into the mess with you. And he gives you a language of a lament - an honest prayer pleading with the one who meets you in the desperate places. End with a prayer of Lament. You can write one yourself or choose one of the many laments at the end of each chapter of the book, No More Faking Fine. Watch Esther Fleece s live No More Faking Fine interview at Kensington Community Church at YouTube.com/watch?v=nV3Ol88Rd1c 9

Lament Psalms Depression

Lament Psalms Depression Psalms the journals of healthy people as they dealt with life These people are honest and real; they experience all kinds of emotions and thoughts; and they have no problem turning