23 NOVEMBER 2013 STAGES IN LIFE DOING GOOD OR DOING BAD WHAT IS NEEDED IN BOTH STAGES?

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1 ) التربية الذاتية ( F B U I L D I N G O N E S S E L 23 NOVEMBER 2013 INTRODUCTION This special lecture took place on the beach, with the sky as the ceiling, and the sand as the floor reminding us that we too come from sand, subhan Allah. And as we are surrounded by these great creations of Allah we feel we tranquility and at peace, because all of Allah s creation magnify Him and are accepting of Him. Subhan Allah. Surah Al Asr, Allah (swt) swears by time to tell us that is our capital. With time we can either benefit ourselves or be at loss. And there are rules as to how we can build ourselves, and we don t to build ourselves according to.(قال هللا قال الرسول ( said people s rule, but according to what Allah (swt) said, and the Prophet (pbuh) STAGES IN LIFE DOING GOOD OR DOING BAD WHAT IS NEEDED IN BOTH STAGES? In life we are in one of two stages, either we are doing good or we are doing bad, and we can go back and forth between these two stages but both stages we need to benefit from them. Whether I am doing good or bad, I need to feel total humbleness and a feeling of lowliness (ذل) in front of Allah (swt). To build one s self, when I am doing good, is to feel so humble to Allah (swt) that He may accept my good deeds. And if I am doing good and I feel that I am great, then how can I expect my deeds to be accepted? And when I am doing bad, I need to feel lowliness and humiliation while asking Allah for forgiveness. This is different from conventional self-development in which people say you have to pump yourself up with ( اله اال هللا (ال it s different you have to feel low in front of Allah (swt). In order to build myself I need to have (ذل) and what action will it beget? Ihsan excellence if I have done something good or bad. Sometimes I do not know if I am doing something and it is being accepted or not so when I ask Allah (swt) for the acceptance, there has to be (ذل) in my heart, I feel so low in front of Allah (swt). And when I have this feeling, Allah (swt) will answer me. And how will I see it being answered? In the next good deed that Allah (swt) guides me to perform, I will end up performing it with ihsan, with excellence. Subhan Allah. Even if I have done something bad, as I am seeking forgiveness from Allah (swt) there is humiliation in my heart, and Allah (swt) will guide me to do good deeds with ihsan. Subhan Allah. WHY DO I WANT TO DEVELOP MYSELF? Because I want to be among the muhsineen I want something noble, and that is to have ishan in my faith and in my Islam that is very beautiful. Subhan Allah. Your Islam is like a house with a foundation, but with ihsan it becomes a beautiful house. Ihsan comes in different levels: 1

2 o Some people do ihsan in worship o some people do more in doing ihsan in worship and with people o And some people go further with ihsan in worship, people, and themselves. Subhan Allah. You want to dream big, so ask Allah (swt) that every second of your life is filled with ihsan, even while sleeping. Subhan Allah. To whom did Allah (swt) give the title of muhsineen in the Quran? To the prophets and messengers, but don t think I can t get there, ask Allah (swt) for the help to make you of the muhsineen. Let us now see what are the rules to build ourselves in order to be muhsineen. RULE ONE: THE TRIALS IN LIFE ARE NOT TESTING YOUR PERSONAL STRENGTH BUT THE STRENGTH OF YOUR ISTI ANA (SEEKING THE HELP OF ALLAH) The tests that Allah (swt) puts you in this life are not about your personal strength, because otherwise it would not be fair. For example, you have a marathon, people think the first one to reach the finish line is the strongest, but that is not how Allah (swt) sees things, because perhaps the one who is last in line is the one who has ihsan. Subhan Allah. And this is a mercy from Allah that we are tested like this because otherwise it would not be fair. And your test is not how you physically do the action, but how much isti ana you have, how much of Allah s help you are seeking. For example, you want to pray the tahhajud, and you seek the help of Allah (swt) whether you wake up or not, you reached. Because sometimes we see that we did not wake up, we don t see the result, why? Because Allah (swt) is protecting your heart from feeling arrogant, or proud of yourself for waking up and praying at night, subhan Allah. This shows you that you do not have to see the results with your eyes all the time. Subhan Allah. Sometimes we push our children to reach, but your test is to make dua a and have isti ana. Or you are trying to overcome a sin, and you are seeking the help of Allah (swt) to overcome to it. أبي هريرة رضي هللا عنه قال: قال رسول هللا صلى هللا عليه وسلم: " المؤمن القوي خير وأحب إلى هللا من المؤمن الضعيف ( Hadith: (Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, "A strong believer is better and dearer to Allah than a (وفي كل خير. weak one, and both are good.) Muslim People sometimes misinterprets this hadith to mean who reads more Quran, memorizes more etc, but it is about who is more strong in relying and seeking the help of Allah. It s not about your outside, but how much you are relying on Allah in the inside, subhan Allah. 2

3 Maybe the one who is sleeping is doing more ihsan than the one who is up praying the night prayer, why? Because they are seeking the help of Allah (swt) but don t think this is a way that can make you lazy. You have to be honest and sincere when seeking isti ana, it cannot be because of desire. Surah Al Fatiha 5: ( ن ع ب د و إ ي اك ن س ت ع ين (إ ي اك (You (Alone) we worship, and You (Alone) we ask for help (for each and everything).) your duty in life is to worship Allah alone, but you cannot fulfill this duty without seeking the help of Allah. Subhan Allah. This means anyone who is doing a worship but without seeking the help of Allah to perform it, then this is not worship. Subhan Allah. Whoever says this ayah, then it is between him and Allah. Imagine how can we, made of sand, worship Allah Who is perfect? We cannot, we need His help, subhan Allah. Imagine climbing a mountain, you cannot do it on your own, you need to hold on to the rope, even if it s the end of the rope. And this rope represents isti ana. Hadith: ( ي ا ع ب د هللا ب ن ق ي س ق ل ال ح و ل و ال ق و ة إ ال ب ا لل ف إ ن ه ا. ك ن ز م ن ك ن و ز ال ج ن ة (" (Say: La haul a walaquwata illa billah, (there is no might or power except with Allah) for it is one of the treasures of Paradise.") Al Bukhari. There is no might or power except with Allah, and these are very heavy words. That is why it is one of the treasures in paradise, because you do not know what is inside it. This means everything around us has some kind of strength, but this energy is useless without the ال حول ( that strength and might of Allah. Even when you try to carry something, you need to remember (swt) because that strength only comes from Allah (و ال قوة اال با لل عن ابن عباس رضي هللا عنهما قال: " كنت خلف النبي صلى هللا عليه وسلم يوما فقال: " يا غالم إني أعلمك ( Hadith: (One day, I was riding (كلمات: "احفظ هللا يحفظك احفظ هللا تجده تجاهك إذا سألت فاسأل هللا وإذا استعنت فاستعن با لل behind the Prophet (PBUH) when he said, "O boy! I will instruct you in some matters. Be watchful of Allah (Commandments of Allah), He will preserve you. Safeguard His Rights, He will be ever with you. If you beg, beg of Him Alone; and if you need assistance, supplicate to Allah Alone for help) At Tirmidhi When you rely on Allah it will remove sicknesses of the heart, the sickness of pride, arrogance, hasad. RULE TWO: THE POWER OF ISTI ANA IS TO KNOW YOURSELF & TO KNOW ALLAH (SWT) Don t say that you know yourself, you will discover yourself according to what is in the Quran. We have to remember that we are weak and that we are so low and Allah is so perfect. And we need to strengthen our faith in Allah (swt). To be very strong, I need to remember that I am poor, and Allah is Rich, I am a slave, and He is my master, I am helpless, and only He can help me, and the more I have this feeling, the stronger my isti ana will be. 3

4 بسم هللا الرحمن الرحيم And we need to know this knowledge simultaneously, we can t know ourself without knowing Allah and vice versa, and fadhl min Allah, we have our Life Project which is telling us who we are and who is our Lord. Previous notes can be found here يم ن و ز ي ن ه ۥ ( 7: I need Allah (swt) to beautify the faith in my heart. In Surah Al Hujurat و ل ك ن ٱ لل ح ب ب إ ل ي ك م ٱ ل hearts) (But Allâh has endeared the Faith to you and has beautified it in your (ف ى ق ل وب ك م Surah An Noor :21 ( و ل و ال ف ض ل ٱ لل ع ل ي ك م و ر ح م ت ه ۥ م ا ز ك ى م نك م م ن أ ح د أ ب د ا و ل ك ن ٱ لل ي ز ك ى م ن ي ش ا ء وٱ لل س م يع ع ل ي م ) (And had it not been for the Grace of Allâh and His Mercy on you, not one of you would ever have been pure from sins. But Allâh purifies (guides to Islâm) whom He wills, and Allâh is All-Hearer, All-Knower) This means we need Allah (swt) to purify us and Allah purifies whom He wills based on His knowledge and wisdom, but you have to want that purification. ة م ن ٱ لل ل ن ت ل ه م ( :159 Surah Al E Imran gently) (And by the Mercy of Allâh, you dealt with them (ف ب م ا ر ح م Even our gentleness, patience, and good character are favors from Allah (swt). And to love each other for the sake of Allah comes from Allah. Only He can place the love in our hearts. Our eyes cannot blink and our heart cannot pump without Allah, subhan Allah, so that really shows you how helpless we are. ف ص ب ر ج م ي ل و ٱ لل ٱل م س ت ع ا ن ع ل ى م ا ( 18: Look at the dua a of Yacoub (as) when he lost Yusuf (as). Surah Yusuf ((for me) patience is most fitting. And it is Allâh (Alone) Whose help can be sought against that (ت ص ف ون which you describe) RULE THREE: TRAIN YOURSELF TO SEEK THE HELP OF ALLAH WITH SMALL MATTERS BEFORE TRAINING YOURSELF WITH BIGGER MATTERS What is considered a small matter? When drinking water and eating for example. People say I eat and drink without anything happening to me that is from the mercy and forbearance of Allah, subhan Allah. Or even while driving, in your heart, ask Allah to help you. It is similar to excercising, you begin with the small weights before going on to the large ones. And when you are used to seeking the help of Allah for the small things, you will see for the larger things you will do it automatically. That is why it is important to remember Allah in times of ease, because then in the time of difficulty Allah will remember you. Imagine when you are in a time of difficulty, you are in a state of panic, distress, your heart is overwhelmed with the problem that you will forger to turn to Allah, subhan Allah. 4

5 During the day, a time of distress is while praying or remembering to say the morning and evening supplications, because you have a limited time to perform these worships, and times outside of these worships are ease. A time of weekly distress is from Friday to Friday, a yearly is Ramadan and Hajj, and the sacred months. And a time of ease is your entire life relative to the moment of distress, which is at the time of death, subhan Allah. And when we are seeking Allah s help in the times of ease, seeking knowledge about Allah, etc, Alalh will help you in times of distress because sometimes we can forget. You will see that Allah will help you with your prayers, remind you of your supplications, etc. Some people do not pray to Allah or say dua a only when they are in distress and forget Allah in times of ease, istaghfar Allah. How can a person be guided to good deeds in such a situation? Subhan Allah. And this period of ease is a means to do ihsan, to build yourself. Subhan Allah. RULE FOUR: INTERPRET THE ACTIONS OF ALLAH ACCORDING TO WHAT HE HAS SAID ABOUT HIMSELF AND NOT ACCORDING TO WHAT SUITS YOUR DESIRES For example, you have the name of Allah Al Lateef The Most Subtle / Gentle. Allah will bring to His servant goodness from gates he is not aware of, and not from gates he already knows. Maybe you have a child that is not praying and you are making dua a to Allah to guide Him and you are seeing that this child is going further away. And then you think bad about Allah that He is not answering your dua a. You need to know that the goodness will come, but not from where you expect, subhan Allah. Because maybe that time of difficulty your child is going through is good for him and you, and it will make you both strong believers in the end, subhan Allah. So when you make isti ana, Allah will bring you the good, but in a way you do not know how, and you have to be sure, full of certainty and yaqeen that Allah will bring it to you. And sometimes a bad thing might come along the way but good will come from it. For example, Yusuf (as) had to be thrown in the well, in order to ultimately reach Egypt and become a high ranking minister, and on top of that, this is a messenger of Allah, subhan Allah. Dealing with Allah (swt) is not according to what you see, but according to what you know about Allah (swt). Sometimes you might want to be a da ee and you see that it doesn t happen, perhaps Allah is saving from becoming proud and haughty or wronging the people, subhan Allah. RULE FIVE: TREAT POINTS OF WEAKNESS OF YOUR ISTI ANA 5

6 Our points of weakness include the means. We rely on the means and not on Allah. For example, you are raising your children, and all that you are teaching them are means. You want to teach them good manners, and sometimes you could be teaching them good values, but you are destroying them at the same time. How? That is when you are relying on your means. For example, you have a child whose nature is very generous, and imagine when you are talking to him about generosity, he will reach a point where he will become overly generous giving away everything, and this lacks balance. Some children need extra motivation because they are weak, so you tell them you are doing fine, etc, but if a child is confident and you tell them they are good, then you inflate them, and this makes them proud. So don t think that when you have the means you will get good results, rather you need to have isti ana in Allah to make the means beneficial. Subhan Allah. So what weakens us? When we think we own the means. For example, a person has a life jacket, and thinks he can swim, but something can happen and the life jacket is useless. You need to ask Allah to make the means beneficial to you, have 0% trust in the means and 100% trust in Allah (swt). So it s the means that can make you weak, people think I have an umbrella in the rain then I m fine, or I have a mobile with me, then I m reachable. And you will find they will fail you when you need it the most. RULE SIX: PUSH AWAY THE ENEMIES OF ISTI ANA THE SHAITAN AND THE SELF THAT COMMANDS TO EVIL 6

7 How will the shaitan drive you away from isti ana? He will tell you that what you are doing is easy, you ve already done it before, you have all of the means, you don t need to ask Allah etc. He does not want you to do isti ana because it is a worship that can lead you to paradise. And he hates that. And he knows that if you are a strong believer seeking the help of Allah, then Allah will love you and he detests that! They say it s the shaitan that makes you want to see things in front of you, to see the results immediately. He will tell you that you have enough experience, you re talented, or this task is too hard for you, you won t be able to do it. Subhan Allah. Your self wants to feel proud and accomplished, if you get a certificate, you want to hang it, or if you memorize something, even if you don t recite it to others, you feel you are great for doing it, but remember it is Allah (swt) that allowed you to do it, and not yourself. Sometimes people make a chart for themselves of what they have accomplished to feel good about themselves, but they forget that it is Allah (swt) Who allowed them to do it without His help nothing is possible. LAST SEVEN MINUTES OF LECTURE ARE CUT OFF. We ask Allah to always seek His help in every matter that we do and to make us of the muhsineen. Ameen 7