07/15/18 Boundaries Learning Our Limits Acts Pastor Douglas Scalise, Brewster Baptist Church

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1 07/15/18 Boundaries Learning Our Limits Acts Pastor Douglas Scalise, Brewster Baptist Church Mark 1:32-39 That evening, at sundown, they brought to him all who were sick or possessed with demons. And the whole city was gathered around the door. And he cured many who were sick with various diseases, and cast out many demons; and he would not permit the demons to speak, because they knew him. In the morning, while it was still very dark, he got up and went out to a deserted place, and there he prayed. And Simon and his companions hunted for him. When they found him, they said to him, Everyone is searching for you. He answered, Let us go on to the neighboring towns, so that I may proclaim the message there also; for that is what I came out to do. And he went throughout Galilee, proclaiming the message in their synagogues and casting out demons. Acts Now during those days, when the disciples were increasing in number, the Hellenists complained against the Hebrews because their widows were being neglected in the daily distribution of food. And the twelve called together the whole community of the disciples and said, It is not right that we should neglect the word of God in order to wait on tables. Therefore, friends, select from among yourselves seven men of good standing, full of the Spirit and of wisdom, whom we may appoint to this task, while we, for our part, will devote ourselves to prayer and to serving the word. What they said pleased the whole community, and they chose Stephen, a man full of faith and the Holy Spirit, together with Philip, Prochorus (prahʹkuh-ruhs), Nicanor (nī-kayʹnuhr), Timon (tīʹmuhn), Parmenas (pahrʹmuh-nuhs), and Nicolaus (nikʹuh-layʹuhs), a proselyte of Antioch. They had these men stand before the apostles, who prayed and laid their hands on them. The word of God continued to spread; the number of the disciples increased greatly in Jerusalem, and a great many of the priests became obedient to the faith. Have you ever gone to do something that you used to do weeks, months or even years before without much difficulty only to find it wasn t so easy anymore? For example, after not running for a month you decided it would be nice to just go for a 4-5 mile run. How does that tend to go? How do you feel the next day? One of the challenges of life is discerning the line between pushing ourselves, and learning our limits. It doesn t help that this is a moving target that changes as we grow up and age. When we re younger, we re at a time when our limits are expanding and our capability is increasing. That s fun. As we get older, we may find our capability increasing in some areas and decreasing in others. This is the nature of life. 1

2 Learning our limits is important in all areas of our life, not just our physical condition. As we think about learning our limits, I want to be clear; I don t mean putting ourselves down and saying, I m so limited, I can t do anything. I m helpless. Learning our limits means identifying our gifts and strengths, and using them to serve God and other people. If you own a home or here at church, it s important to know where the property lines are so we know our boundaries. Within those boundaries lies the land for which we are responsible. Members of our wonderful Building and Grounds Team were working this past Tuesday to help maintain our property. When we re responsible for an area, we re also liable if we don t carry out our responsibility. The importance of learning our limits is recognizing that there is only so much for which we re responsible. We re not liable for how someone else s property is maintained, just ours. We re free to take care of the important things within our boundary, which are truly our responsibility. Even Jesus and the twelve apostles had to draw boundary lines as to what they could and couldn t do. Accomplishing the best in life often means saying no to the good. Saying yes to what God is calling us to do often requires saying no to other people. This is demonstrated by Jesus and the twelve apostles in the scriptures we ve heard from Mark and Acts. Our Godgiven purpose becomes the boundary to determine where we say yes or no to an opportunity to serve. Jesus and the twelve apostles had incredible demands on their time, yet they accomplished what was of the greatest importance in their lives. We can learn from them. Picture Jesus ministry as described in Mark A whole city is gathered around the place where Jesus is staying. This is not a nicely dressed group of dignitaries and leaders. All the sick and the demon possessed were clamoring in their desperation to get close to Jesus. Perhaps some of the disciples were looking at each other as they tried to maintain some sense of order and thinking, Jesus was right! When he said we d fish for people, he wasn t kidding. Look at all the fish! Perhaps late that night when the people had gone, Peter and John talked about how they could organize crowd control for the next day in order to better facilitate Jesus ministry. So imagine their surprise when they got up the next morning and Jesus is gone! People are arriving to see Jesus, and the disciples don t know where he is! Simon and his companions run out of the house and scour the countryside trying to find Jesus. They had just recently begun following him so they re rookie disciples, and their leader is giving them a valuable life lesson. Out of breath and increasingly anxious, the rookie disciples find Jesus praying in a deserted place. This is an introduction to the source of Jesus focus, ministry and power. Simon says to Jesus, Everyone is looking for you. It s a great temptation for some of us when people are clamoring for help and telling us how special we are and that they can t possibly make it without us. The need to be needed is very seductive, but it s a trap that s not healthy for us or for others. That s why the foundation for being able to set appropriate limits is a healthy sense of who we are. If we don t know who we are, we may let others cross boundaries that shouldn t be crossed. Luke s version of this incident records that Jesus said, I must proclaim the good news of the kingdom of God to 2

3 the other cities also, for I was sent for this purpose. So Jesus left for another town leaving behind who knows how many needy and sick people who wanted his time and attention. He left for another town in order to fulfill his God-given purpose. Does that mean Jesus didn t love those other people? No. Does that mean Jesus didn t care about or value those other people? No. Jesus knew what God had sent him to do to share God s message of love and redemption. Nothing, not even the legitimate needs of people, could detour or distract him from following his God-given mission. Today s other scripture from Acts 6:1-7 happens a few years after this incident at the beginning of Jesus work. Jesus has been crucified and resurrected. The Holy Spirit has come upon the disciples with powe,r and God is doing great things through them. They re fishing for people and they can t get them in the fellow-ship fast enough. There were more needs than the apostles had time to personally meet. But they had learned from Jesus and they remembered the lesson he taught them about understanding your purpose, priorities and limits. In contrast to the depiction of the early community of believers in Acts 2:43-7 and 4:32-7, where everyone is getting along great and sharing what they have so no one is in need, Acts 6:1-6 shows evidence of growing tension between the Hellenistic, Greek-speaking Jewish Christians, and the Aramaic-speaking Jewish Christians. Or, we might say between the old timers and the newcomers. The issue was the less than equitable distribution of food to the Hellenistic widows. Made aware of the problem the Twelve called together the whole congregation and said in effect, Our priorities don t allow us the time to look after the distribution of food. Now some of us, if we wanted to get really scriptural with the Twelve, might quote the letter of James back to James and say, Hey, what are you doing? Aren t you the one who would write (James 1:27), Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to care for orphans and widows in their distress. The Twelve leading disciples are not less loving, less caring, or less holy because they don t feel called or able to personally oversee the food distribution to the widows. They re wise enough to recognize their gifts and the areas in which God has called them to serve. They told the church it wouldn t be right for them to neglect the ministry of the Word of God and prayer even for the sake of meeting a legitimate need on the part of the widows because that was not their primary purpose. The Apostles knew their limits. There was a genuine need that the church felt bound by the teaching of Christ to seek to fulfill, but the pressure of authentic needs didn t mean the Apostles had to personally meet them all. That was the lesson they learned from Jesus. People came from everywhere hoping to be healed by Jesus, but that didn t mean he was obligated to do so. Jesus got up early in the morning to be quiet and still and to listen to discern what God wanted him to do. These two important scriptures make it clear that we all have to deal with the difficult task of limit setting. We re all vulnerable to being tempted to go beyond our limits or our calling in life. Especially if our self-esteem is low, we may have such a desire to be needed that we feel we have to meet every request ourselves. If we don t, we re afraid that people won t like us or may 3

4 say mean or hurtful things about us. On the other hand, if the person with the need has an unhealthy perspective, s/he might say, If those Twelve really cared about me, they d bring me the food personally. I guess I m not important. Or maybe they re not as spiritual or kind as some people think. A contemporary example might be a church member who was sick and received calls, texts, s, and some visits from six different people in the church, none of whom was a pastor. Whether that person praised God for being a part of such a caring church, or was angry at the uncaring pastor for not visiting would largely depend on his or her spiritual maturity, outlook and self-esteem. In the early church and today, those of us in positions of spiritual leadership can t possibly meet all the needs of the church. More and better ministry takes place when leaders are equipping, training and delegating so that more people are participating in serving God and others within the boundaries of their gifts and purpose. A conversation between Moses and his father-in-law Jethro in Exodus 18:13-24 illustrates this point very well. (Exodus 18:14-18), When Moses father-in-law saw all that he was doing for the people, he said, What is this that you are doing for the people? Why do you sit alone, while all the people stand around you from morning until evening? Moses said to his father-inlaw, Because the people come to me to inquire of God. When they have a dispute, they come to me and I decide between one person and another, and I make known to them the statutes and instructions of God. Moses father-in-law said to him, What you are doing is not good. You will surely wear yourself out, both you and these people with you. For the task is too heavy for you; you cannot do it alone. Jethro then suggests that Moses appoint honest, trustworthy, God fearing men to sit as judges and to help bear the burden of leadership. His advice makes a lot of sense. Moses was a pretty capable leader, but he didn t seem to recognize what was taking place or how to change it. Whether it is our need to be needed, the desire to be in control, fear of what other people may think or say, or some other reason carrying on alone will wear us out as well as the people we hope to assist, care for, or serve. Learning our limits and recognizing how they change as Moses, Jesus and the Twelve Apostles did, means we invest our lives where God desires. Sometimes the discernment and input of others is important in helping us figure out where that might be. Sometimes the Lord speaks to us through family and friends as He did to Moses. Perhaps someone has said to you, The task is too heavy for you; you cannot do it alone. How did you respond? Moses father-in-law said his advice was from God. Some of us may have heard that before too. Our family and friends may have advice or perspective for us about learning our limits and finding our purpose in service. But how can we discern carefully whether words of concern are from the Lord or are merely reflecting someone else s issues? I believe the answer lies in listening to God and understanding our purpose. By consulting God in prayer, Jesus knew the task he had to accomplish, no matter what sacrifices were involved, was proclaiming God s message. The apostles knew that doing first things first meant their primary responsibility was to devote themselves to prayer and sharing God s word. If they didn t do that, who would? Puccini wrote a number of great operas including La Boheme. When he was still a fairly young man, he contracted cancer. So, he decided to spend his last 4

5 days writing his final opera, Turnandot, which is one of his most polished pieces. When his friends and disciples would say to him, You are ailing; take it easy and rest, he would always respond, I am going to do as much as I can on my great masterwork and it s up to you my friends, to finish it if I don t. Puccini died before he could complete the opera. Now his friends had a choice. They could forever mourn their friend and return to life as usual or they could build on his melody and finish what he started. They chose the latter. And so, in 1926 at the famous La Scala Opera House in Milan, Italy, Puccini s opera was played for the first time, conducted by the famed conductor Arturo Toscanini. When it came to the part in the opera where the master had stopped writing because he died, Toscanini stopped everything, turned around with tears welling up in his eyes, and said to the large audience, This is where the master ends. And he wept. But then, after a few moments, he lifted up his head, smiled broadly and said, And this is where his friends began. Then he finished conducting the opera. Where our master Jesus ends, as far as his death and resurrection, is where his friends and disciples build on the melody he began, using our spiritual gifts, our passion, our abilities, our personality, and our experiences as a community of servants in his power and in his name to help others along their journeys. We were shaped to serve God. Whatever we are good at, we can be doing for God and for the church. At whatever stage of life you re in today, what do you see as your primary mission in life? How do you know if you re on the right path? It s easy to get so busy or distracted that we miss or neglect to spend time in God s word or prayer, which cuts us off from the source of spiritual direction we need. Spending time with God helps us clarify what God is calling us to do and where are to serve. As individuals and as a church, directing our gifts and energy within the boundaries of our God-given mission, will enable us to live with greater satisfaction and to serve God with greater effectiveness. In Acts 6, what the apostles said about doing this pleased the whole congregation. Seven deacons were appointed. Needs were met, leadership multiplied along with ministry, and the church grew in power and numbers. May God grant us a similar blessing. 1 Peter 4:8-11, Above all, maintain constant love for one another, for love covers a multitude of sins. Be hospitable to one another without complaining. Like good stewards of the manifold grace of God, serve one another with whatever gift each of you has received. Whoever speaks must do so as one speaking the very words of God; whoever serves must do so with the strength that God supplies, so that God may be glorified in all things through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power forever and ever. Amen. Questions for Discussion or Reflection 1. How do you feel about the idea that you have limitations? Do you find it helpful, clarifying, freeing, frustrating, difficult, negative? 2. What do we learn about purpose and limitations from Jesus actions and statement in Mark 1:32-39? 5

6 3. What role do clear and healthy boundaries have in assisting us to fulfill our purpose and for having quality relationships? 4. In Acts 6:1-7, what did the apostles do in response to a complaint that a legitimate need was not being met? (6:2-4) Why did the Twelve choose prayer and teaching over giving food to widows? 5. The word deacon means servant. As you think about Acts 6:1-7, in what ways was serving necessary for the church? In what ways is meeting physical needs a spiritual responsibility? 6. What complaints arise in our church? How can we channel our complaints or concerns into solutions? What could you do this week to help resolve a conflict between believers? 7. In what ways can you use your gifts and skills in our church? 6

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