Biblical Soul Care in Small Groups

Transcription

1 Biblical Soul Care in Small Groups Entering the world of saints as both suffers, and sinners. Engaging in wise, compassionate, intentional heart-assessment Session #2 I. Love II. Know III. Speak IV. Do 1

2 Know Gathering information simply refers to the ongoing dynamic of normal interpersonal relationships of drawing out the relevant facts of a person s life-experiences. No meaningful relationship can be developed or sustained without gleaning vital and relevant facts about... 2

3 the person the problems Gathering Information Relevant Facts about... the person s perspectives about... himself his problems God The solutions to his problems the historical patterns of thinking and behaviors regarding those problems 3

4 Know the Person Believer? Unbeliever? Mature? Immature? Sinner? Experiencing God s Discipline? Sufferer? Experiencing God s testing and refining? 4

5 Understanding the FACTS Enables you to view the other person s world through their eyes and feel their emotions and relate to their suffering. Effective information-gathering builds Involvement Models God s way of dealing with people Gives HOPE. 5

6 Failure to Gather Information It is impossible to minister to a person without accurate facts Failure prevents accurate interpretations &/or discernment Failure prevents sharing the hope of Christ in relevant ways to people in need. Failure at gathering information is sinful 6

7 Example of Failure 12 As she [Hannah] continued praying before the Lord, Eli observed her mouth. 13 Hannah was speaking in her heart; only her lips moved, and her voice was not heard. Therefore Eli took her to be a drunken woman. 14 And Eli said to her, How long will you go on being drunk? Put your wine away from you. (1 Sam.1:13-14) We want to put romance back into our marriage 7

8 Gather Information- a Biblical Command/Warning 13 If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame. 15 An intelligent heart acquires knowledge, and the ear of the wise seeks knowledge. 17 The one who states his case first seems right, until the other comes and examines him. (Prov.18:13,15,17) 8

9 Know Yourself! Know who you are - Beggar pointing another beggar to the Bread (2 Cor. 4:7) Know your role ambassador - not a mechanic (2 Cor. 5:14-21) Know your goal - reconciliation (2 Cor. 5:14-21) In meekness, and humility, considering yourself (Gal. 6:1-2) 9

10 Discerning Heart-Themes Wisdom the Heart Biblical World-view Patience & time (rope) Questions (bucket) Discernment (tubs) 10

11 Know Wisdom Listen!!!! Let the wise hear and increase in learning, and the one who understands obtain guidance, (Prov. 1:5) Whoever belittles his neighbor lacks sense, but a man of understanding remains silent. (Pr. 11:12) 11

12 Know Wisdom Listen!!!! Pr. 17:27 Whoever restrains his words has knowledge, and she who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding. Pr. 20:5 The purpose in a man's heart is like deep water, but a man of understanding will draw it out. 12

13 Know Wisdom - Dynamics Setting & Timing (Prov. 27:14) Esther; Abigail Whoever blesses his neighbor with a loud voice, rising early in the morning, will be counted as cursing. (Pr. 27:14) Not alone for protection against slander, spoken of as evil - Ro.14:16 benefit of wisdom (Pr.11:14) As couples (bring opposing parties into the discussion from the beginning whenever possible) 13

14 Know What to Gather Understanding based on a biblical view of man. Spiritual Like God, we will exist through eternity future Emotional - Like God, we experience emotions Relational - Like God, we relates to other people in fellowship Intellectual - Like God, we are rational; with a mind/heart that thinks, reasons, considers logically; embrace philosophies & beliefs, develop attitudes & habitual thought-themes Volitional/Responsible - given commands, expected to respond in worship, relationships, work, obedience. Desiring being (vs. instinct-driven); Created with desires that long to be fulfilled; We do what we do because we want what we want 14

15 Wisdom - How to Gather Asking questions Observation (consciously, constantly looking for halo data) Written assignments Active assignments 15

16 Gathering thru Questions & Observation Directly from counselee From others who are close to situation Facebook, Twitter 16

17 Knowing thru Observation Consciously, constantly looking for halo data Attitude evidences Visual evidences Hygiene, weight (e.g. anorexia), smells (smoke, alcohol, excessive perfume) Actions (or lack of actions), countenance, worn Bible, home address Vehicle, clothing, posture, Language, tone, vocabulary Lifestyle 17

18 Gathering thru Assignments Personal Profile Written Assignments; Devotion logs, Journals, to-do lists, surveys Summaries of sessions, books, DVD S, CD s Active assignments specific things to do Put-off & put-on Acts of service - Demonstrations of love 18

19 Questions Understanding the Person What did you get that you didn t want? What did you loose that you needed? What did you want so badly that you were willing to sin to get? What did you want so badly that you were willing to sin when you lost it? Questions expose motivation, idols, foundational values, traumas, pain, ideologies, etc 19

20 Questions Understanding the Problem Extensive questions (fishing net) Intensive questions (fish hook) my husband and I had a fight last night What does mean? Tell me about that. 20

21 Questions Understanding the Patterns How long has that been the case? When did this begin? What typically happens when? Look for learning styles; audio, visual, hands-on experience Look for hot-buttons; language that paints a vivid picture in their vernacular 21

22 Questions Teach How did your circumstance prevent you from pleasing God? How did his/her sin prevent you from pleasing God? Do you need to have your circumstances changed in order to please God? What is God more concerned about in this conversation, your responses or his/her sins? 22

23 S.M.A.R.T. Questions Teach S. tell me about the SITUATION? M. What was going on in your MIND? A. What were your ACTIONS? R. What were the RESULTS of your actions? T. Did you get the TROPHY you were after? Did GOD get what GOD wanted? 23

24 Questions Motivate Responses Minimize defensiveness Why not Why Engage the mind/heart questions appeal to the conscience point to Christ 24

25 Know How to Interpret The Trouble-pie Schoolexperiences Illness Moved around a lot; instability Betrayal from... Death of familymember Divorced Parents 25

26 Going Deeper Developing Healthy Relationships, article by Wayne Mack S.M.A.R.T. JOURNAL Article: X-RAY Questions, The Journal of Biblical Counseling Volume 18 Number 1 Fall 1999 Book: Seeing with New Eyes, David Powlison 26

27 Biblical Soul Care in Small Groups July 31, 2013 Kent Kloter 27