Every valid marriage is brought about by God Himself That s why Jesus says in today s gospel, Let no man separate what God has joined

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1 MDP of God 27 -B Our readings today give us real insight into God s plan of creation - it gives us insight into what God wants for the world In our 1st reading we re told, God said, it is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a suitable partner for him. God then fashioned the animals, who proved not to be a suitable partner Then God casts him into a deep sleep and forms from his side a woman. When Adam sees her he declares, This one, at last, is bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh. This one shall be called woman...that is why a man leaves father and mother and clings to his wife and the two become one body God created them married Marriage is not a human invention Marriage is not a social custom Marriage is not a purely legal status - A piece of paper as some try to convince us Marriage is imbedded in the very nature of creation Marriage is holy - sacred - God given In fact every true marriage is God made - every valid marriage is caused by the action of God - Not the State of Ohio - Not the United States Govt. - not some judge or mayor - Not even caused by a priest Every valid marriage is brought about by God Himself That s why Jesus says in today s gospel, Let no man separate what God has joined Since it is not a judge or mayor or government that makes a couple married - no judge or government has the power to pull apart what God has in fact united. Now, in preparing this homily I realized there are several important issues that I could address about marriage. But I decided to try to avoid hot button issues

2 Instead I d rather today talk about the big picture of what God intended from the very beginning of creation for the human race One of the primary purposes for our lives in this world is for us to learn how to love That s why we re here -to learn how to love As we pray in one of the prefaces at the wedding Mass Love is our origin - love is our constant calling - love is our fulfillment in heaven Love is what gives meaning and joy to our lives That s because we re made in the image and likeness of God who is love I ve mentioned many times in homilies that the basic unit in any society is the family, because the family images God God is Trinity - Father, Son, & Holy Spirit In our understanding - the Father for eternity is pouring Himself out in the begetting of the Son The Son for all eternity, gives Himself completely in love to the Father [we see that in His humanity on the cross] The Holy Spirit is the love of Father and Son personified [for all eternity] The human family is meant to model that to be an image of God In the sacrament of marriage God unites a man and woman to become one (as God is one) And the bonds of love that unite them in marriage are so real, so tangible that nine months later you can give that love a name [mention the name of a couple of the servers] In God s design for the world each one of us is meant to be love come to life That s a beautiful image isn t it? We are meant to be love come to life In that way the family models God 2

3 This, by the way is why a young couple of child bearing years, who are not open to having children, are not married in the eyes of God [I m not talking about couples who could not have children I m speaking of those who refuse the gift of kids] True love is life giving The love of the Father has for all eternity given life to the Son and Holy Sprit The love of God has poured over into the creation of humanity - we are an expression of God s love - Love is life-giving A couple who refuse to allow their love to give life, are refusing to model the Trinity - are refusing to adhere to God s plan of creation If career, a big house, vacations and material possessions are more important than having children, they are disobeying God s command to be fruitful and multiply, they are refusing to give of themselves in love Unfortunately today we live in a culture that has elevated lust to become equal and for some even greater than love It s amazing how the same action can be an expression of love or lust But in love the people involved give of themselves for the other---in lust one or both uses the other---the attitude of lust is, I have needs and you are here to satisfy my needs and after that I m not too interested in what happens to you Where true love is about self-giving---self-emptying self-denying--- lust is all about selfishness Love is open to life and of course having children gives a man and a woman more and more opportunity to give of themselves in love Lust on the other hand is not open to life so if pregnancy occurs--- well you have to take care of it--- you have to kill the child because I wanted to have a good time I don t want to raise a kid again, it s all about me me, me 3

4 My dear friends it is so tragic that we are more and more moving away from a culture built on love to a culture built on lust that is built on selfishness You see---god gives to us the sacrament of marriage as a means for us to learn how to love in this life. Now to understand God s plan we first need to understand love Sadly, our culture does not understand what love is Love is not a feeling that we fall in and out of Love is not a mere emotion [emotional aspects to it, but it s not just an emotion] Love is a choice - it is the choice to give of oneself for the sake of the one loved [Again, modeling God - self emptying-self-giving] Now because of our fallen nature, that self- giving -that self emptying is not easy for us to do it takes effort it s hard work But that s why God gives us marriage - marriage is not so that you can have warm fuzzy feelings every day of your lives Because warm fuzzy feelings aren t love Warm, fuzzy feelings come and go in marriage [come and go in any meaningful human relationship even with your kid often you feel proud and they give you such joy other times you want to ring their necks let s be honest here love does not always imply good feelings] Love is not a mere emotion that we have no control over God doesn t command us to have emotions we have no control over - and God has commanded us to love it s the 1 st and greatest command Love is when we make the needs and wants of the one loved as important to us as our own needs and wants. And that requires self giving - self emptying - it requires dying to ourselves. 4

5 And you ve got to do that in marriage Unfortunately many today are not open to true love Many today have rejected the wisdom of God about love and marriage and are setting up relationships without commitment True love---requires commitment The truth is that all of us are in the process of becoming something Each of us, with God s grace are creating the person we will be for all eternity And God wants us to become people of love - He created us to become people of love [If you don t hear anything else in this homily, please hear this] The way we become people of love is by being faithful to the commitments of our lives For most of you that means being faithful to your marriage vows to love one another in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer; to love and honor each other until death do you part. For me, that means being faithful to my vows to serve God and His Church as a priest. In marriage and in the religious life, being faithful to those vows is sometimes very difficult - and that s because it s not always easy for us to love. but folks--- We re here to learn how to love!!!!! Living a life of love means dying to ourselves Living a life of love means giving of yourself till it hurts and then giving some more Living a life of love means dying to your own wants and needs for the sake of the ones you are committed to love 5

6 But many today rejecting the wisdom and plan of God live together without a lifetime commitment The message is---i ll be here as long as it s convenient for me---i ll be here as long as you don t become too demanding I ll be here as long as you give me warm fuzzy feelings or satisfy my wants and desires But if you expect too much if you become demanding--if you become irritable to me if you stop giving me warm fuzzy feelings or the lifestyle I expect---then I m out of here [that s not love] And of course in living this way the people are denying themselves the opportunity of a lifetime of love Because in any meaningful relationship there s happiness and joy interspersed with times of dryness, emptiness and discouragement Life isn t easy love isn t easy---but love is what gives life real meaning And so without commitment relationships fall apart and they go looking for someone else who will take care of their personal needs--- but notice it s all about themselves---it s all about me, me, me Gentlemen - I want to draw your attention to the crucifix -there s your model for husbands love Jesus died for the love of His bride - the Church Jesus emptied Himself out of love for his bride - the Church Guys, that s what you re called too And you are going to die little deaths in your marriage Every time your wife takes that TV remote control out of your hand, you re gonna die Every time you come home from a hard day s work and are greeted with, why didn t you do this, or you were supposed to do that, or the kids did this what are you going to do about it? - your gonna die Every time you get up in the morning and would rather sleep in, or go fishing or golfing - where as a single man you could have said, forget work today - Now you have bills to pay, responsibilities to live up to 6

7 - so you have to get up, get dressed, go to work, smile at the boss - you re going to die... Ladies, your love for your husband should reflect the Church s love for Christ And by the Church s love for Christ, I don t mean the people who pay lip service to the Lord, but who ignore Him their daily lives I mean the love of a St. Paul who was shipwrecked three times scourged five times beaten with rods stoned and left for dead and eventually beheaded all out of love for Jesus St. Peter who when he was being martyred asked to be crucified upside down beccaue he didn t feel worthy to die the same way Jesus did O the love of St. Theresa of Avila, or Mother Theresa or St Francis of Assissi - who gave everything to follow Jesus Ladies---that s how you re to love your husbands - and that means you ll need to die to yourselves - and you will die to yourself You ll die every time you spend hours preparing a meal only to have your husband and kids eat it in 4.3 minutes and get up without a word of thank you to go their own way. [or don t show up at all] You ll die when you make sacrifices in a career or give up a career entirely to change dirty diapers Your husband might forget your birthday or anniversary or he might make a negative remark about your appearance - and your going to die But it s in these little deaths that you suffer in marriage -- that leads to little Resurrections Where you rise up a little more patient - less self -centered - less conceited -not putting ourselves at the center of the universe as much as we may have in the past Where, if we re open to God s grace we rise up a little more capable- and more willing to love even people who sometimes don t seem lovable. -to rise up to love more like Jesus loves 7

8 You know none of us are perfect - I m painfully aware that I fall short as a priest I m sure there isn t a husband or wife in this Church who isn t painfully aware that he or she isn t always the ideal spouse and parent. But God calls us to love one another with all of our imperfections And it s in being faithful to the commitments of our lives - even when it s not easy (especially when not easy) - that we become people of love We begin to love more and more like Jesus loves Self-giving self-emptying self-denying love That s God s plan now in truth we all fall short of that in our lives none of us live with perfect love So please don t leave here feeling---i really blew it I m not what I should be---we all struggle---but God wants us with His grace to get up and move forward to live lives of love The truth is God s plan isn t easy---that s why more and more people are rejecting it thinking life will be better when they do things their way instead of God s way But in rejecting God s way people are rejecting the path of love and love is what we re made for love is what will give us meaning and purpose and direction and joy My friends we live in a world more and more filled with brokenness hearthache and pain Because more and more people have rejected the wisdom and plan of God God s ways aren t easy but God s plan is the only way to find meaning and purpose and joy in life My friends, lets choose to live lives of love because we re made for love it is love that will give us meaning and purpose and direction in life----it s love, as difficult as it is that will bring us true joy in life 8