Resource Manual Family Ministries Department Pastor Roy Dennis Family Ministries Director

Transcription

1 Family Ministries Department Theme: Kingdom Ideals For Family Togetherness Resource Manual Family Ministries Department Pastor Roy Dennis Family Ministries Director 1

2 Table of Contents Family Ministries Department 3 Vision and Mission Statement.3 Strategic Issues 4 Yearly Themes..4 Effective Family Ministries in the Church.5 Duties Family Ministries Leader 5-6 Duties of the Officers...6 Approaches to Family Ministries.7 Planning the Programme..8 Family Units..9 Family Worship Men s Ministries Marriage Enrichment Groups Ten Commandments of Constructive Confrontation.20 Family Budget Singles Ministries FM Resource Materials.33 Goals and Action Plan Calendar of Events.35 Report Form 36 2

3 FAMILY MINISTRIES DEPARTMENT The Families Ministries Department of the Central Jamaica Conference recognizes the value of quality family life both among Seventh-day Adventist members and non-members alike. The fami ly is defined as The basic structural and functional unit of society. If the families are not well t hen the church and the society will be in trouble. Therefore creating and engendering family we llness is of utmost importance to the Family Ministries Department and every family member m ust be included in this plan. Our work for Christ is to begin with the family in the home. By many this home field has been shamefully neglected and it is time that the divine resources and remedies were presented, that this state of evil may be corrected. (Testimonies for the Church. Vol6, pp. 429,430). Conference Vision Statement Every member transformed and anchored in the body of Christ in readiness f or His imminent return. Conference Mission Statement To proclaim the Everlasting gospel by impacting communities and preparing people in Central Jamaica Conference for Christ s imminent return. 3

4 Strategic Initiative The action plan of the Family Ministries Department has been developed in tandem with the six strategic issues that governs the operations of the Central Jamaica Conference f or the next four years. 1. Spiritual Growth and Unity 2. Integrated Evangelism and Discipleship 3. Quality of life and Community Impact 4. Stewardship and Development 5. Education and Training 6. Youth Empowerment The focus of the Family Ministries Department this quadrenium is on Family Togetherness. The Theme for the quadrenium is: Kingdom Ideals For Family Togetherness. Yearly Themes: 2015 Kingdom Ideals For Family Togetherness 2016 Creating A Caring Home 2017 Healing In The Home 2018 Families Together Forever 4

5 Effective Family Ministries in the Church The Families Ministries Department of the Central Jamaica Conference recognizes the v alue of quality family life both among Seventh-day Adventist members and non-members alike. The family is defined as The basic structural and functional unit of society. If the families are not well then the church and the society will be in trouble. Therefore creating and engendering family wellness is of utmost importance to the Family Ministrie s Department and every family member must be included in this plan. Our work for Christ is to begin with the family in the home. By many this home field h as been shamefully neglected and it is time that the divine resources and remedies were presented, that this state of evil may be corrected. (Testimonies for the Church, Vol. 6, p p. 429,430) DUTIES OF THE FAMILY MINISTRIES LEADER The major functions and tasks of the Family Ministries Coordinator are the following: 1. Needs assessment. Work with pastor to survey the needs of the church: Couples, Singe persons, single parents, children, teens, young adults, mature adults, etc., finding which topics are of interest to them. Needs assessment tools such as survey questionnaires and analysis worksheets are available in some of the resource materials listed in this leaflet and from your local Conference office. Your Conference family ministries director may be able to assist you. 2. Programme Development. The family ministries coordinator works in cooperation with other church leaders to implement family life programmes. This involves planning, promotion, recruitment and training of volunteers, delivery of the programmes and evaluation. Although a number of very detailed and user-friendly programme helps are available, successful programmes still require considerable attention to detail, good organization and strong communication for many weeks in advance. 3. Chairs the Family Ministries Committee. It is recommended that even in the smallest congregations a committee be selected for family ministries instead of following the tradition of making it a one-person assignment. Family ministry is about relationships and helping people learn to be Christlike in their relationships. This needs to be modeled in a group setting because it is caught as much as it is taught. Even if the committee only meets once a quarter and includes people who holds other offices in the church, it should become a support group as well as a working unit. As chairperson it is your 5

6 responsibility not only to put together an agenda and moderate the discussions but to facilitate times of personal sharing, prayer and learning 4. Family Advocate. The family ministries coordinator sits on the church board and should represent the need and concerns of family life there. It is easy for a board to become involved in the organizational and financial issues of the church and forget that congregations are essentially clusters of household; people trying to live out their faith together. It is your responsibility to help the board keep in view the relational needs of the member of the church and make family life a real priority in all that the church does. 5. Information Source. The congregation will depend on you as a primary source of information about ministry. It would be a good idea for you to begin to construct a list Christian counselors to whom you can feel confident making referrals. You will want to guard against getting too involved in playing psychologist (unless you are one), but highly developed listening skills will make it easy for other church member to share their concerns and needs with you and ask for information. This informational task include taking opportunity regularly, during personal ministries time or Sabbath School or worship, to share information with the whole congregation as it comes to you from the Conference in resource materials. Duties of Officers Chair Family Life Committee Identify target groups for Family Ministries Needs Assessments Provide Bible Based Family Life Education & Training Provide or identify means for Professional Family Counseling Programme Development Cooperate with the Conference to implement Family Ministries Emphasis Programmes Family Advocate Information Source (Seventh-day Adventist Church Manual, 2005, p.141) 6

7 Approaches to Family Minist ries The form the Family Ministries Department takes will be determined by the overall goal s of the church, the felt needs of the congregation and the community, and the resource s available. Three approaches may be used: Education Enrichment Counseling A. Education Bible based Family Life Education is one of the key strategies of the Family Ministr ies Department. Churches should structure Family Education in the preaching ser vices, nightly meetings, Sabbath School programmes, A.Y. programmes Bible class etc. Study groups, workshops, seminars and lending libraries are some additional ways to include Family Life Education. B. Enrichment This is the process of enhancing the family relationship through better communication, deeper understanding, and increased ability to resolve anger and conflict and other family issues. Married persons, parents, singles, children, men, women, seniors, disabled, the church family and all parts of the family system must be included. Couples retreat, conventions, clubs and seminars can foster enrichment to the various groups in the family system. C. Counseling There is an emerging and increasing need for professional Family Counseling. Don t play counselor unless you truly are! Counseling is a specialized work where families are assisted in resolving long-term and short-term personal and relational problems. When there is such a need the services of the Pastor, Professional Counselors in the congregation or community or the Conference s Counseling Department (Elder Anthony Gordon, Director) must be sought. 7

8 Planning the Programme The key to a successful Family Ministries programme in the local church includes: A definition of needs A specific target audience Adequate planning Quality communication with the target audience Connecting Family Ministries to the whole church programme. (Starting a Family Ministry Programme, 2006). A successful programme speaks to peoples needs. Where are people in the congregatio n and in the community feeling their greatest need right now? How many are interested in parenting skills, grief recovery, divorce recovery, coping with single life and strengthe ning family worship? When the needs are ascertained then plans should be put in place t o use available resources to meet the needs. The plans of the department must be developed including the Family Ministries program me of the Conference. In addition to these Conference programmes, others are to be d eveloped to meet the special needs of each local congregation. 8

9 Family Units Nuclear Families with Mom, Dad and children who were born to this Mom and Dad. Extended Families Grandparents, mother, father, children, uncles, aunts, cousins Stepfamilies sometimes called blended. Stepfamilies are formed when parents are divorced or are widowed and remarry. Some become stepfamilies when an unmarried parent marries someone who is not the father/mother of his/her child. Single Individuals Sometimes just me and the cat living alone. They may be divorced, widowed or never married, but the household is a separate entity. Some singles may live with other singles in one household. Single Parent Families This may occur when a parent is divorced or widowed and has not remarried or is a parent who has never married. Empty Nest Families Mom and Dad when the kids leave home. Re-attached Families When adult children come back to live with Mom and Dad Usually a temporary arrangement. A family is re-attached when an older parent lives with the family of a son or daughter or grandchild Sandwiched Generation Middle aged adults with adolescent off-springs and aging parents. Families are a part of the family of God. 9

10 Family Worship (Prepared By: Pastor Roy Dennis) Elijah brought the people on Mount Carmel the prophets of Baal were there, so too were t he servants of God. The altars were set up and the God that caused fire to come down fro m heaven should be worshipped. The prophets of Baal chanted all day long but no fire came. At 3 p.m. Elijah called his men to throw 12 barrels of water on the sacrifice. He called on t he name of Jehovah and fire came down from heaven consuming the water, the wood and t he sacrifice. Choose you this day whom ye will serve. And Elijah came to all the People and s aid, how long will you falter between two opinions if the Lord be God follow Him: but if Baal, then f ollow him. 1 Kings 18:21 The call of Elijah is relevant to Seventh-day Adventist families today. The television, the com puter, the cell phone and a myriad of competing influences, threaten to remove the altar of God from our homes. The altar of God is established only through our personal devotional lives and family worship. I charge you therefore brethren, not to allow anything to rob you of the blessings of this valuable ingredient for success in your spiritual lives Family Worshi p. Every home should be a place of love, where the angels of God abide, working with softening and subduing influencing upon the heart of parents and children. Spread the word of God before your f amilies in love and ask, what has God spoken today? (Ellen G. White, AH pp. 18, 19) What is Worship? Worship means to ascribe praise and reverence to God. There are four things that shou ld be present as you do so: 1. Prayer 2. The study of the Bible 3. Praise & thanksgiving or singing 4. Fellowship: as the scriptures declare where two or three are gathered together there will the Lord be to bless them. Below are some practical pointers for your Family Worship: i. Have Family Worship everyday ii. Include the Bible and prayer in your Family Worship 10

11 iii. Have a curriculum (follow the Lesson Study or Morning Watch) iv. Include your children; use their lesson and let them participate; use bedtime stories v. Make it short Family Worship should be 15 minutes to no more than ½ hour. You can spend a longer time in your personal devotion vi. Have a prayer list and prayer partners vii. Each person should have the opportunity of leading out from time to time viii. Utilize musical instruments if you have them The family that prays together, stays together If God be God serve Him. 11

12 Mission Statement: Galvanize the energy and resources of men for God, family, church, and community. Vision Statement Men who love and have committed their energy and resources to God, family, church, and community. Men s Ministries has emerged to support men in their roles as husbands, fathers, and committed Christians. Men s Ministries events leave a lasting impression on the men who attend. Men leave with a stronger commitment to God, a stronger dedication to their families, and higher dedication to share their faith with others. Embrace this ministry and by the power of God watch the men who have been on the margin come in to the mainstream of church life. 12

13 Tips On Developing Your Own Mission Statement For Your Local Church s Men s Ministries Keep in mind that your target is men. Decide what you want to see happen among the men in your own life. Define a plan on how you intend to accomplish this. Define a method you intend to use to measure the results. Finally, combine the two or three elements into one clear short sentence. 1. Men need action. 2. Men need safety. 3. Men need to be challenged. 4. Men need to get to the point. 5. Men need to win. 6. Men need to dream. 7. Men need other men like them. 8. Men need balance in their lives. 9. Men need healing. 10. Men need freedom. Ten Important Needs Of Men *Adapted from Men s Ministry by Steve Sonderman 13

14 Steps To Starting Effective Men s Ministries In Your Local Church 1. Start with a core group of men. The core group is the heart of effective Men s Ministries. Other men are not excluded from joining the core group. However, the core group provides a foundation of prayer, direction, and leadership for the entire Men s Ministry. 2. Focus on relationships, not programmes. Plan on relationship-building types of events like men s conferences; men s special events (cookouts with an afternoon of softball, father-son campouts, father-daughter banquets); marriage and fathering seminars; witnessing-in-the-workplace seminars; men s church s events (a monthly men s breakfast gathering); and men s small groups (prayer groups, Bible study groups). 3. Have clear goals. Take a profile of your men in order to find out more about the men you will be serving. The profile will identify interests and strengths among the men in the church. Develop a mission for this ministry, you will lose focus. statement. Without a clearly defined purpose 4. For men only. This does not mean that programming events with women and children are not vital to the health of families. But this does mean that certain needs of men can only be met when men gather with other men. Men talk more freely on spiritual and emotional issues when they are with just men. Effective Men s Ministries will recognize this dynamic and structure the ministry so as to provide an environment where men can share their weaknesses, struggles, triumphs, and challenges with other men. 5. Pastor-supported ministry. This ministry is pastor-friendly. The Coordinator honors the pastor s schedule and responsibilities by communicating plans and strategies and by asking for his/her input. When a pastor is actively supportive of Men s Ministries, the ministry has greater momentum and a stronger foundation. It more readily draws men together. A pastor s support and encouragement can greatly enhance the men in your church especially if the pastor invests time and energy in a core group of lay leaders. 14

15 1. Ministries with flexibility and variety. Successful Men s Ministries offer a variety of entry points and opportunities for men to grow spiritually and to make relational commitments. These ministries honor and respect each man s spiritual journey, seeking ways to enhance his faith and commitment to God. Annual men s conferences and sporting events are great non-threatening entry points for a man. However, these activities by themselves will not meet the relational needs of a man or consistently challenge him to an active faith. When Men s Ministries offer enough variation to honor the different levels of spiritual maturity in all men, they effectively gather their men. Not all men will commit to prayer groups. Not all men will attend a Sporting event. Not all men will commit to a small group. That s O.K. Effective Men s Ministries are flexible, accepting men where They are and providing a variety of opportunities for men to Convene. 7. Avoid implementing too soon. Men s Ministries takes time to grow. Often, motivated and excited pastors and laypersons will develop a program without taking the necessary time to communicate the Mission of the group to various levels of men s gatherings. Be careful not to force an elaborate programme upon men for which they are not yet ready. Take time to build a substantial, reliable foundation that can survive the growth and the challenges that come with that progress. 15

16 Duties Of The Coordinator 1. Develop and conduct on a periodic basis a wide variety of programmes and activities that will meet the various contemporary needs of a diverse male constituency. 2. Encourage and facilitate meaningful spiritual, mental, and emotional growth among the men of the church. 3. Work with a small administrative committee to make plans and policy. 4. Communicate with the church secretary and pastor when scheduling programmes. 5. Serve as the conference men s ministries representative to the local church. 6. When requested, assist the conference director in planning meetings that are for the benefit of all men of the conference. 7. Communicate news of interest to men that is disseminated from relevant sources in the church s structure. 8. Mentor someone else in this ministry. 9. Report to the family ministry committee and/or church board. Spiritual Gifts Desired Encouragement Administration Shepherding Men s Ministries has emerged to support men in their roles as husbands, fathers, and committed Christians. Men s Ministries events leave a lasting impression on the men who attend. Men leave with a stronger commitment to God, a stronger dedication to their families, and higher dedication to share their faith with others. Embrace this ministry and by the power of God watch the men who have been on the margin come in to the mainstream of church life. 16

17 MARRIAGE ENRICHMENT GROUPS What is a Marriage Enrichment Group (MEG)? It s a small group of couples of all ages who meet regularly (e.g. monthly) to encourage each other in the growth and enrichment of their marriages. These groups are for partners in a relatively healthy marriage who value their relationship and want to develop and maintain a strong, enduring marriage. When couples were asked, What comes to mind when you think of your Marriage Enrichment Group? they said: Caring... encouraging... fun... accepting... energizing... listening... supportive... commitment. The group has been the best thing has happened to our marriage. Here we share a common commitment to our marriage. The group is a chance to focus on us to take time out to talk about what kind of marriage we want In this group, we can look at each other, face to face, and be honest about our marriage its good points and its struggles Why Have Marriage Enrichment Groups? Enrichment group experiences introduce couples to the concepts and process for growth in marriage. Couples, with the supportive, confidential environment of the group, gain motivation, encouragement and tools need for the continuing development of their relationship. These groups help couples become aware of the strengths of their marriage as well as identifying areas in which they wish to grow. The verbal sharing in these small groups helps couples learn alternative ways of communicating, solving problems and handling differences. They also gain skills for interacting with their partner in positive, growthproducing ways. In Marriage Enrichment groups, the sharing process creates an environment of trust and acceptance. As couples learn that they are all dealing with similar issues, a sense of shared experience replaces the feelings of isolation. We re all in the same boat! Close relationships develop with the other couples. Within the group, couples gain encouragement for making whatever changes they desire. Enrichment groups for couples provide an easily accessible, effective, low-cost resource to couples for strengthening their marriage. Distinctive Features of Marriage Enrichment groups: MEGs are composed of married couples They are designed to enhance and enrich the marriage relationships Each session is focused on couple relationship issues During group meetings, the emphasis is on each partner interacting with his/her spouse 17

18 Facilitation of the group is provided by a trained couple who are also working on their own marriage within the group. Marriage Enrichment Groups have proven to be highly effective for couples who are seeking greater depth and intimacy within their marriage. IDEAS FOR GREAT MARRIAGE ENRICHMENT GROUPS 1. Celebrate the anniversaries of your family and friends with the same enthusiasm that you celebrate their birthdays gifts, cards, parties, surprise parties all the bells and whistles. 2. Start a Marriage Hall of Fame for those in your community who have been married for 40 years or more. Post their pictures and reason for their success in prominent public place like the notice board at church, Church News Letter, by the foyer. 3. Ask radio station to hold a contest for the most creative and or less expensive marriage date 4. Organize an annual weekend marriage retreat 5. Organize a Strengthening Marriage Club that meets on a regular basis 6. Ask the congregation or daycare to sponsor a date night for married couples. Include childcare 7. Take the time to strengthen your own marriage so you can be an example to others in your community 8. Ask the publisher of your local yellow pages to use some the empty advertising space for marriage strengthening tips 9. Educate people about the benefits of marriage by handing out copies of marriage quiz 10. Give marriage education books and classes as wedding anniversary, birthday and baby shower gifts 11. Place marriage education posters, pamphlets, and lists of classes at doctors, daycares, salon barbershops, churches, public buildings, school, real estate, health clubs, financial and credit advisors 12. Organize friends and family to write letters asking their politicians to pass laws that will strengthen marriages 13. Organize a Marriage Film Festival Movies to get you started. Town and Country, Story of Us and Family Man 14. Encourage couples in your community to pray or meditate daily together that their own marriage will be strengthened as well as the marriages of their friends and family 15. Contact businesses and offer to teach a brown bag seminar on strengthening marriages 16. Establish married fatherhood as a goal in fatherhood programmes 18

19 17. Write your favourite musicians and ask them to write songs about strong marriages 18. Encourage libraries to stock books, audiotapes and videotapes on Fighting for your Marriage, Keeping Love Alive, etc. 19. Provide information on building strong marriages and bridal showers. 20. Organize Marriage Memories Scrapbook project. Have couples include photos, stories, mementos and lessons learned 21. Use the ideas in this handbook to put together a presentation about Strengthening Marriage in Your Community 22. Provide childcare at all marriage education events 23. At community celebrations that honour firemen, policemen, paramedics and military personnel, honour their spouses as well 24. Become involved in formulating and passing legislation that will strengthen marriages and families 25. Attend the annual Smart Marriages conference for new ideas on how you can strengthen marriage in your community 26. Hold a Marriage Fest in your community in your community. Have games, food and marriage education booths. 27. Get creative with the mega-screen at sporting events 28. At wedding parties, have each guest share ideas of what the couple can do to keep their marriage strong 29. Start an ACME chapter. In these marriage club couples of all ages meet to work on marriage strengthening activities. 30. Implement Compassion Workshops for domestic violence abuser in both court and community settings. 31. Set up an service that sends out marriage strengthening ideas on a weekly basis 32. Ask employers to include the celebration of anniversaries in flextime expectations 33. Donate marriage strengthening books and tapes to libraries, high schools, congregations, hospitals, etc 34. Petition Congress to drop the marriage penalties in tax laws and welfare programmes. 35. Talk with others (on airplanes, at parties, work, the hair salon, etc.) about why it is important to strengthen marriage and how they can strengthen marriage in their community 36. Encourage your state to offer a reduction on marriage license fee for couples who take a premarital education class. 19

20 The Ten Commandments of Constructive Confrontation By Len McMillan Orlando, Florida 1. Think about what you are going to say before you open your mouth Don t talk so much. You keep putting your foot in your mouth. Be sensible and turn of the flow. (Proverbs 10:19, LB). 2. Don t procrastinate. The sooner you can calmly confront the person with your problem, the sooner the healing can begin. 3. Don t withdraw in silence. Most problems will not go away by themselves. Silence only leads to more frustration. Exception: when one or both of you is out of control. 4. Be open to criticism. Remember, all criticism is destructive before it can be constructive. It will usually hurt before it heals. It is a badge of honour to accept valid criticism. (Proverbs 25:12. LB.) 5. Resolve one issue at a time. Oftentimes we bring up the past because our present argument is weak, or there were not enough grievances in our hurt bag to initiate confrontation. 6. State your complaint objectively, kindly and privately. 7. Let the other person know you are not dissatisfied with the entire relationship. Remember, It is harder to win back the friendship of an offended brother than to capture a fortified city. His anger shuts you out like iron bars. (Proverbs 18: 19 LB) 8. Avoid a win-lose situation. Learn to bend a little. Seek to compromise. Negotiate! Don t make threats to terminate the relationship if the other person doesn t agree with you 9. Don t accuse or attack the other person. Use I phrases such as I am very angry! I am extremely upset! This really bothers me. Avoid you phrases such as you make me so mad! You never do anything right! You don t care about my feelings! 10. Seek the solution. You may need to enlist a third person (counsellor, pastor, friend) who will listen objectively and not take sides. Sometimes a mediator can help you reach an understanding even if the two of you fail to reach an agreement. 20

21 FAMILY BUDGET Prepared By: Pastor Roy Dennis Income Salary 1 Salary 2 Other Income Total Expenditure Tithe & Offering: A. B. Food at home Food at work Utilities a) Water b) Light c) Phone d) Cooking Gas e) Cable f) Internet Transportation Children Personal Allowance Children Lunch Allowance School Fees 21

22 Loan Rent/Mortgage Medical Payments/Salaries to pay Expenditure Cont. Personal Allowance: A. B. Charity Gifts Other Miscellaneous Total Expenditure Savings Total 22

23 A Seventh day Adventist Singles Ministries Programme By: Sharette Kirby MSc (2007) How would you develop an effective singles ministry in your church? The Singles Circle : An interactive, informative, entertaining and vibrant programme for singles by singles Introduction Is singleness a tragic wreck or a tremendous resource? Is it helplessness or hopefulness? Is it full of problems or full of promise? Is there something wrong with singleness, is it an abnormal state of being found somewhere in the DSM IV TR Manual or is perfectly normal to be single? Does it help when those among us stereotype against those who have chosen to remain single. The amusing factor is that those who listen and actually believe these myths seem to have selectively forgotten that they themselves were single at one time or the other in their lives. Some of these myths include: Singles are immature married adults Singles are incomplete Singles are afraid of making a Singles are unstable commitment Singles are damaged Singles have more time than Singles are dangerous married individuals Singles are inconsequential Singles are a threat to married Singles are unacceptable adults Singles are lonely Singles are not complete until Singles are sexually frustrated they are married Singles have fewer problems than Singles have more money than married individuals (As cited by Brown (2001) 23

24 Developing a Seventh day Adventist Singles Ministries: The Singles Circle Part of the mission of the Seventh-day Adventist Church is to provide encouragement, support and nurture for single adults within the church. This is often done by: 1. Providing social and spiritual activities held throughout the year 2. Conducting conventions, retreats and seminars that promote emotional, social and spiritual growth 3. Providing meaningful service opportunities 4. Promoting appropriate resources and training opportunities for leaders in singles ministry. Mission and Aim of The Singles Circle The mission of any singles ministry should be to create a Christ centered atmosphere where single adults can come together to fellowship with others of their peers. It should further aide in guiding these individuals down the pathway of living successful and fulfilling lives as they pass through this stage in their lives. Scope of The Singles Circle Ministry With such foundations of existing myths and a stream of loneliness as its ultimate effect, The Singles Circle should be developed to help to guide both male and female single individuals into experiencing successful and fulfilling intimate and social life. It is recognized that singleness is not confined to the young and inexperienced and should hence cater for three categories of individuals; these are namely: a) young college students, b) working professionals and 3) older individuals who may be single due to divorce or death of a spouse. In keeping with the mission of the church when developing an Adventist Singles Ministries, the following must be taken into consideration: 1. Ask God to guide you. The first step is to pray. Study God s Word and the Spirit of Prophecy for guidance. 2. Talk to other Singles Ministry leaders. The experiences of others will always serve as an excellent guide in teaching the prospective leader the rights and wrong, dos and don ts of a successful ministry. 24

25 3. Identify the singles in your church. Begin with your immediate circle of influence! Include single adult church members, neighbors, and coworkers. Compile a list of who you know. Ask your pastor and church members to add names to your list. Collect name, address, telephone numbers, fax, and addresses. 4. Use singles to pull other singles. Use singles to encourage other singles to become involved. Provide a mentoring system. The fellowship of the evening may blossom into an enjoyable experience and a concern for the needs of others. 5. Prepare a survey. To help determine the needs of the group, ask the singles of the church to complete a needs assessment survey. 6. Study the needs of the singles in your local church. What type of support do they need? Is it experts to give them advice? Inspiration and affirmation? 7. Plan programmes to meet the identified needs. Plan the content of your program ahead of time. It would be best to begin your singles ministries with a consecration and commitment service. Be sure that the speaker that is invited is familiar with the needs of your singles, as identified by the needs assessment survey. Be sure get the singles involved right from the start. 8. Identify a name, mission statement, vision and the goals and objectives of the Singles Ministry. Know where you are going and you will get there. Duties of the Single Adult Ministries Coordinator Becoming a leader of The Singles Circle leader includes the following responsibilities: Forming a Committee: Find responsible people who will help plan and develop activities and programmes. Keep in mind when choosing committee members that the adult singles need to own their ministry in order for it to be relevant to their needs. Therefore, as far as possible, responsibilities must be delegated in such a way as to involve as many individuals as possible in the programme. 25

26 Bible Study: a ministry of single adults must include Bible teaching which may take place in a large or small group situation or both. Small group Bible studies can meet during Sabbath School and be recognized as a Sabbath School class, or meet as a Home Bible Fellowship. Large group activities might take the form of a monthly Singles Fellowship where Bible study would be the only item on the agenda. Involve Singles in the Worship Service: look at ways to help the singles in the church to become a part of the worship services and contribute to a spirit of commitment among the members of the church. It allows them to feel involved and apart of something bigger than themselves. Plan Entry Events: the leader will need to help the church plan entry events and build pathways to attract new members, specifically single members and nonmembers of the church, and nurture their growing faith. In the church the singles who may be hardest to reach is those who are single parents and those who have been divorced; as such, the leader can host a divorce recovery seminar r a single parent workshop in order to attract these individuals to the ministry. Attitudes: help the larger congregation and the leaders develop a non judgmental, open and accepting attitude. Focus on how to minister to singles in the situation which they are found. The question is, What can be done now? rather than, What happened? or Why did you do what you did to get yourself into this? Foundations of The Singles Circle This Ministry should be built on three primary cornerstones: 1. Being consistent: this ministry will meet once per week at a particular time, day and place. Only in extreme cases of emergencies will meeting be cancelled. As far a possible the leaders of this group will strive to maintain this standard and consistency, which will only serve to improve its aim of guiding single adults into living a fulfilling life. 2. Being Effective: though this ministry will not solely be developed for the main purpose of helping single adults find and keep a mate it will facilitate and encourage group interactions and dating; and as such, its effectiveness will be 26

27 partially measurable as it explores the results of singles who have met suitable partners through this ministry. In order to aide in this success, a local network of singles in the Seventh-day Adventist Church across Manchester will be developed in order to encourage and promote local area interactions and development of friendships. 3. Educational: The Singles Circle will facilitate numerous avenues that will serve to educate the intellect of single adults. Some of these avenues will include seminars, question and answer sessions, discussions and educational game works (such as the game Men are from Mars; Women from Venus). The Singles Circle believes the best possible way of choosing a mate is through acquaintances that occur and develop through face to face contact. The following concepts are strongly encouraged to be explored by each ministry: accepting singleness coping with changes building healthy relationships bitterness dating and courting dating again (after divorce or death of spouse) forgiving and relating to my former spouse dealing with guilt depression overcoming loneliness developing identity finding God s will finding a career gossip learning to forgive learning to risk learning to trust managing anger managing emotions managing stress the ethics of dating money management pre marital education re marital education self esteem setting goals sexuality singleness in a family oriented church spiritual growth understanding emotions 27

28 In order to facilitate a successful and effective singles ministry, the leader of the The Singles Circle needs to ensure that appropriate and relevant information is also available to its members and dispensed in a vibrant and interesting manner at all times. Additionally, each leader should strive at all costs to develop a ministry that is effective informative and consistent with the foundations, that will serve to positively enhance the life of singles within each congregation. STEPS IN DEVELOPING A SINGLES MINISTRIES Using Resourceful Individuals ad Material: Be Consistent, Be Effective, Make it Educational, Interactive and Vibrant PLAN A GRAND ENTRY PROGRAMME Ensure that your first programme is exciting, captivating, spiritual, relaxing and simple enjoyable (note that this can be a powerful tool in pulling additional members) PROMOTE, PROMOTE, PROMOTE! 1. Use Exciting and Colorful flyers that are direct and straight to the point. 2. USE YOUR YOUNG PEOPLE! The colloquial saying goes crowd raw crowd young people draw young people. IDENTIFY A NAME, MISSION AND VISION STATEMENT IDENTIFY THE NEEDS OF THE SINGLES Using the survey method, conduct a needs assessment of the singles within your church and community in order to adequately plan and prepare programmes for them. FORM A COMMITTEE Find responsible people who will help plan and develop activities and programmes. FOUNDATIONAL STEPS 1. Ask God s Guidance 2. Seek the leadership advise and programme ideas of other Singles Ministries Leaders 3. Get the approval and support of your board Reference : Brown, Jeffery (2001). Single and Gifted: Making the most of your singleness. Autumn House: England. 28

29 How to Develop a Single s Ministry 1. Personal Preparation We cannot over-emphasize the spiritual and personal preparation of the leaders. Seek God s guidance. Pray for God s leading. Ask a few others to join you. Do this for the purpose of clarifying your motives so that the ministry you are about to start is God s idea and not just an ego trip. Pray that the right people will be brought together. Pray for the Holy Spirit s leading in determining the direction of the group. Seek other experienced leaders and talk with them. Read good books on leadership skills 2. Get Pastoral Support Communicate interest to the pastor Ask for ideas Incorporate the pastor s ideas and goals into the plans Keep the pastor informed with the progress of the ministry 3. Develop a Core Group Core group can: (a) Serve as resource persons (b) Assist in interviews (c) Develop a mission statement 4. Develop a Mission Statement A well-designed mission statement keeps the ministry on track. It is easy to swipe someone else s mission statement. The real benefit of working on your own mission statement is ownership. 5. Interview and Survey the Singles in the Church Surveying: (a) Avoids needless work (b) Shows what to target. Ministry is not about the leaders. It is about the men. (c) Identify needs (d) Connects with the needs of the singles from the start (e) Get single s input (f) Helps select a good cross-section of singles 6. Set a Date to Invite All of the Singles of the Church to a Special Meeting (a) Notify the singles of your plans (b) Agree on a day and time when the singles will be available and meet for organization 29

30 How to Develop a Game Plan and Get Ministry Ideas BRAINSTORMING Brainstorming is an exercise that can offer all kinds of suggestions. It is a way to give singles ownership and create excitement for the ministry. All ideas are written down on a flip chart. No one is to react to any idea negatively. Draw from all of the information gathered surveys, questionnaires, interviews, pastor s suggestions. Start with the top three in five needs Develop action plans. (a) Divide responsibilities (b) Define roles and responsibilities Develop a time line. Plan how often the group will meet. 30

31 How to Organize a Singles Ministry in the Local Church 1) Planning He who fails to plan, plans to fail. 2) Organize a Single s Ministry Committee a. The role of the committee is to: i. Assist in planning ii. Execute plans iii. Serve as resource persons iv. Assist in assessment v. Develop a purpose statement b. Family Life Committee c. Separate Committee: suggested persons Family Life Director, Care Group leader, pastor/elder 3) Conduct needs assessment a. Singles of the church b. Singles of the community c. Surveys, interviews, questionnaire d. Listen to all the singles of the church e. Plan first meeting 4) Plan according to needs (a) spoken (b)unspoken 5) Match resources with needs (a) human (b) financial 6) Develop a resource bank Develop a list of professionals seek permission to circulate their names and make available. 7) Develop resource materials Conference Director develops programmes,- research material for local directors. Select persons to research on specific topics Subscribe to family life/single s journal magazine Obtain copies of presenter s presentation Ask group members to donate a book to the ministry Request that single s ministries library be included in church s budget Check internet for family life or single s related materials 31

32 Adventist Single s Coordinator at the Local Church Selecting a Coordinator -This person may be selected by the church board or the church nominating committee. Responsible to: Church board and works closely with the Pastor, Local Church Family Ministries Leader, and the Conference Family Life Director. Term of Service: One or two years. This will give continuity to the programme in the local church. It is possible that the church may want to elect this office on a one-year only basis. Purpose: To assist the church in meeting diverse needs of the singles who are a significant part of the church body. Establish and chair the Adventist Single s Ministries Committee. The size of the committee should be three to five persons. It is recommended that the Family Life Director and the Personal Ministries Leader be members of the committee. The purpose of the committee will be to brainstorm, develop strategies, network and assist in planning and implementing programmes and activities relevant to men s specific and varied needs. Assess needs of the singles in the church and community. This could include identifying the demographics of the single s population such as age, ethnicity, educational level, marital status, etc., and identifying topics specific to their needs. Develop programmes and activities for singles (based on needs), harmonizing these activities into the larger church programme. This will be done by the team effort of the Adventists Single s Coordinator, Single s Organization Committee and the Pastor Disseminate information to the total church membership on Adventist Single s Organization and its contribution to the church life Liason between the singles of the church and the church board members, assisting them to keep in view the needs of singles in the church, and recognizing Adventist Single s Organization as a significant and vital part of church growth and church dynamics. 32

33 RECOMMENDED FAMILY LIFE MATERIALS DESCRIPTION HIGHLY EFFECTIVE MARRIAGE IRRESISTIBLE TO COUPLES SMART LOVE SERIOUS ABOUT LOVE TRAIN UP A CHILD HEART TO HEART YOUNG MAN YOUNG WOMAN 10 CHRISTIAN VALUES EVERY CHILD SHOULD KNOW ISSUES OF THE HEART WE VE ONLY JUST BEGAN HOW TO COMMUNICATE WITH YOUR MATE HOW TO HELP KIDS ENJOY CHURCH PARENTING TOWARDS THE 21 ST CENTURY FREE FROM DRUGS & ADDICTION YOUNG WOMAN AFTER GOD S HEART COUNSELS TO PARENTS, TEACHERS DRUG FREE YOUTH (MAGAZINE) PRAYING LIKE CRAZY FOR YOUR KIDS LIVING WITH LOSS HOW TO LIVE WITH STRESS COMPLEAT TWEEN (Hard Cover) COMPLEAT TWEEN (Paper Back) TO ADOLESCENT AND PARENTS SUCCESSFUL FAMILY SEX WITH LOVE FOR RAISING YOUR CHILD TOTAL MARRIAGE ADVENTIST HOME (Hard Cover) MESSAGES TO YOUNG PEOPLE (Hard Cover) HOW TO HELP YOUR CHILD REALLY LOVE JESUS RAISING KIDS RIGHT SINGLE AND GIFTED MEN OF POWER A PLACE FOR US GUYS HOW TO HANDLE FATIGUE HOW TO BELIEVE WHEN HURT LIFE AFTER LOSS HOW TO BUILD A BETTER MARRIAGE WHY TEENAGERS LEAVE THE CHURCH CHILD GUIDANCE DEVOTIONALS 2011 FINDING FULFILLMENT IN CHRIST SAFE IN GOD S HANDS (WOMEN 33

34 CENTRAL JAMAICA CONFERENCE OF SEVENTH-DAY ADVENTISTS FAMILY MINISTRIES DEPARTMENT 2018 Theme: Families Together Forever GOAL The goal of the Family Ministries Department for 2018 is to encourage each family member to implement strategies to exercise care and concern for fellow family members as we establish quality family relationships in keeping with Tot al Member Discipleship thrust of the General Conference. ACTION PLAN FAMILY MINISTRIES 1. Strategic Engagement meeting with Family Life Leaders in each parish: a. Manchester b. Clarendon c. St. Catherine Follow the Jamaica Union & General Conference Family Life Calendared Activities: 1. Christian Home and Marriage Week Sabbath, February Men s Day of Prayer Sabbath, June 2 3. Family Life Leaders Training in Prepare Enrich with General Conference Directors Elaine and Willies Oliver August 24 & Family Togetherness Week September Partner with Pastors and other Departments to provide Family Life Education 6. Host One Family Life Advisory Committee Meeting. 34

35 FAMILY MINISTRIES DEPARTMENT CALENDAR 2018 Theme: Families Together Forever JANUARY 6 Day of Prayer Interceding for our Family Ten Days of Prayer FEBRUARY Christian Home and Marriage Week 13 Launch of Emphasizing the Transformation Study of Fundamental Beliefs Part II Begins MAY 13 Mother s Day JUNE 2 International Men s Day of Prayer 17 Father s Day AUGUST 24 & 25 Family Life Leaders Training Prepare Enrich SEPTEMBER 1 8 Family Togetherness Week NOVEMBER 1-30 Parents Month Annual Week of Prayer 35

36 CENTRAL JAMAICA CONFERENCE OF SEVENTH-DAY ADVENTISTS Family Ministries Department FAMILY FRIENDLY CHURCH PROGRAMME REPORT FORM FOR THE YEAR Family Ministries Leader District Pastoral Telephone Number Church Please tick ( ) the appropriate box for each item below and indicate in the section under NUMBER the amount of times each event is held CONFERENCE EVENTS OBSERVED NUMBER SPECIFIC PROGRAMME NUMBER Christian Home & Marriage Week - February Married Couples Retreat Family Life Leader s Council Men s Day of Prayer Family Togetherness Week - September Mother s/father s Day, Child Month ACTIVE FAMILY LIFE MINISTRIES AND CLUBS In Your Church Singles Ministries Couples Ministries Men s Ministries/Fellowship Senior Citizens Club Other Family Fun Day /Games Session Cook - outs Revivals/Crusades/Seminars Family Fasting Retreats ANY OTHER NOTABLE PROGRAMMES WORTHY OF REPORTING (Please specify) NB: The completed form should be returned to the Family Ministries Department of Central Jamaica Conference by the 31 st of December. You may also send it via to communication@centralja.org. Signature Date 36

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