Protecting Your Marriage. with the ARMOR OF GOD. David and Sabra Penley. Fort Worth, Texas

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2 Protecting Your Marriage with the ARMOR OF GOD David and Sabra Penley Fort Worth, Texas 1

3 PROTECTING YOUR MARRIAGE WITH THE ARMOR OF GOD Copyright 2018, David and Sabra Penley All Rights Reserved. All Scripture taken from THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION, NIV Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide. Cover photo by via Pixabay.com (CC0), cropped/text added. 2

4 Table of Contents Table of Contents... 3 Introduction... 4 Chapter 1: The Belt of Truth... 9 Chapter 2: The Breastplate of Righteousness Chapter 3: Shoes of Peace Chapter 4: The Shield of Faith Chapter 5: The Helmet of Salvation Chapter 6: The Sword of the Spirit The Word of God Chapter 7: Prayer Conclusion Appendix 1: How to Make Jesus Your Savior and Lord Appendix 2: Couple Connect Appendix 3: 20 Spiritual Warfare Scriptures to Read, Memorize, and Pray Appendix 4: The Full Armor of God Ephesians 6:

5 Introduction For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world, and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Ephesians 6:12 Living a God-honoring life is difficult. In Ephesians 6, the apostle Paul called it a struggle. The word struggle refers to a wrestling match. In Paul s day a wrestling match was a life-and-death competition. The winner lived; the loser died. That s the kind of struggle Paul said the Christian life is like. In this struggle of life, our greatest obstacle is not another person, but a spiritual power. Paul may have pointed this out because he knew our tendency to blame other people for our problems. Some might say, My struggle is with my spouse who doesn t appreciate me. Or My struggle is against my boss who mistreats me every day. Or My struggle is against my friend who has wronged me. But Paul tells us our greatest obstacle is not another person it s not against flesh and blood. He says it s against a spiritual power Satan himself. This is certainly important to remember as you think about your marriage. Your spouse is not the enemy. In Ephesians 6:11 Paul says: Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil s schemes. Satan is not only real, but he has a scheme to destroy you. Jesus tells us the difference between His purpose and that of Satan in John 10:10: The thief [Satan] comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I [Jesus] have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. That s quite a contrast. Satan has a plan to destroy your marriage. He has a plan for the rebellion of your children. He has a plan to ensure your departure from the Christian life. He has a scheme he is working out in your life, and it is not for good. It s very important to be aware of his wicked schemes. So how do you battle against the devil s attempts to destroy you and your marriage? First, you need to be a student of God s Word. You need to understand what the Bible says about how the devil operates. You ll find Satan always uses the same temptations to lure God s 4

6 people away from Him. It s always something like a desire for money or a desire for pleasure or a desire for success. If you re going to battle Satan successfully, you must become a student of Scripture to know how Satan works. Second, you also need to study yourself. That is, you need to understand your weaknesses and what temptations are likely to bring you down. I once read about a hunter on a big-game expedition in Africa who spent all day tracking a lion. Finally, at the end of the day, he saw it. With his eye laser-focused on his target, he carefully pulled out his rifle and took aim. Just as he was about to pull the trigger, he sensed something behind him and turned to look. To his horror, he saw another lion ready to pounce on him. The irony was obvious. The hunter had spent all day hunting; but while he was hunting, he was also being hunted. The same thing is true with you and me. All of us are hunting something. We re hunting success. We re hunting possessions. We re hunting pleasure. But we must never forget that while we are hunting, we are also being hunted by our evil adversary. That s why 1 Peter 5:8 says: Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. (Also see John 10:10, quoted above). In John 8:44, Jesus also said to those who refused to listen to Him: You belong to your father, the devil, and you want to carry out your father s desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies. Satan has only one purpose to destroy everything good God has created, including you and your marriage. God has designed marriage to represent Christ and His relationship to all people. Paul writes about this in Ephesians 5:25-32: Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church 30 for we are members of his body. 31 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be 5

7 united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. 32 This is a profound mystery but I am talking about Christ and the church (bold mine). If Satan can destroy your marriage, he can turn that beautiful picture into something ugly. So he will do whatever he can to break you apart. You won't be married long without encountering obstacles and attacks that Satan will hurl in your direction. These are those flaming arrows Paul speaks of in Ephesians 6:16. This is why God provides us with the armor we need to protect our marriage. Where God places this teaching in His Word reveals just how important it is to Him and for us. He had Paul write this teaching on the armor of God immediately following his instructions on relationships, including children and parents (Ephesians 6:1-4), and slaves and masters (Ephesians 6:5-9). Just before that we find the lengthy and vital teaching about husbands and wives in Ephesians 5: If you feel you are in a battle for which you are ill-prepared, you are right. You cannot fight this battle on your own. If you believe you are defenseless against the enemy s attacks, you are correct. Your resources will never be strong enough alone to stand against your adversary. Remember Paul s warning in Ephesians 6:12: For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. If your battle were against another person or even yourself you might think you could win without help. But you are in a battle against a more powerful enemy than you can imagine. One you cannot hope to win on your own. The good news is you are not on your own if you have Jesus as your Lord. God promises us in 1 John 4:4: You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world. God promises to provide what you need for this battle. Paul said in Ephesians 6:10-11: Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil s schemes. God tells us that when we put on the full armor He provides, we will be able to stand against the devil s schemes. It is a promise from Almighty God. Since we cannot stand against the schemes of Satan on our own, God assures us that we can stand strong and firm with His help. Paul ends his introduction to the full armor of God with these words in Ephesians 6:13: Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 6

8 That day of evil will come in every marriage. God doesn t have Paul write, if the day of evil comes but when the day of evil comes (bold mine). And it will come. The day will come when you will be tempted to say a mean thing in response to some hurtful words your spouse said to you. Or you will have the desire to get even by doing something you know will irritate and hurt them because, after all, they hurt you first. You will be tempted to hurt each other. It is not if but when. But the Lord promises strength to be able to stand your ground, if you put on the full armor of God. You can respond to every situation with His power. And His power will allow you to resist every temptation. It will allow you to respond in a way that demonstrates God s grace and love to your spouse and everyone else around you. To be successful in battling Satan s plan for your destruction and the destruction of your marriage and family you must be a student of Scripture. You also have to be a student of yourself to know the weak points in your armor so you can take special care to strengthen those areas. So beginning in the next chapter, we will look piece by piece at this full armor God gives us as His children. You will see how each piece applies to your marriage and how it makes marriage stronger. And you will see how it allows your marriage to be all God wants it to be for His sake and yours. You can use this book in a couple of ways. You can simply read it yourself and let God teach you on your own. Or, even better, you can study it together with your spouse and let God use it to teach you as a couple as well as individually. There are several tools you can use for this. At the end of every chapter there are discussion questions to go over together. In Appendix 2, you will find our Couple Connect quick design tool that can help you develop a weekly Bible Study time as a couple. There is also a link to our free ebook: Couple Connect: A Simply Weekly Plan to Stay Close for a Lifetime. This ebook goes more in depth to ways you can use this together time to help you grow in your marriage. You can use this book for a small group study with other couples. The questions at the end of the chapters can be used for discussion. (The Couple Connect tool could also be adapted for use with a group.) 7

9 We pray God will bless you and your spouse as you seek to protect your marriage with His full armor! And if you have any questions as you go through this study, please contact us through our website: simplyoneinmarriage.com. Let s get started 8

10 Chapter 1: The Belt of Truth Stand firm, then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist Ephesians 6:14 We fight a spiritual battle every single day. We must be prepared for it. It is a battle we cannot win on our own. But if we have given our life to Christ, we have the all-powerful God on our side. Our enemy Satan--is a powerful foe, but not all-powerful. We are told in 1 John 4:4: He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world. God does not expect us to fend for ourselves. He provides us with the armor and weapons we need, not only to fight the battle well, but to win it. So through Paul s words in Ephesians 6, God tells us about the armor He has put at our disposal. Armor we must put on, fully, each day. The first piece of armor that will allow you to stand your ground (Ephesians 6:13) when Satan attacks your marriage is found in Ephesians 6:14: Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist. The belt holds everything together and keeps it in place. And our weapons are carried there they hang on it. Satan s first attack will come on the truth of God and His Word. Jesus is God. And Jesus is truth. He affirmed this in John 4:6-7: I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. 7 If you really know me, you will know my Father as well. From now on, you do know him and have seen him. Jesus also confirmed that God s Word is completely true and completely trustworthy. Jesus prayed for His disciples and for us in the Garden of Gethsemane just before going to the cross: Sanctify them by the truth; your word is truth (John 17:17). So we have this belt of truth when Christ is our Savior. We buckle it on when we study His Word, learn His Word, and live by His Word. 9

11 Satan will always attack the truth. Look back to how he went after Eve in the Garden of Eden. Satan heard what God told Adam and Eve: You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; 17 but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat from it you will certainly die. (Genesis 2:16-17). And he decided to attack on this point with a simple question. Satan tempted Eve to doubt God s truth first by asking her: Did God really say, You must not eat from any tree in the garden? (Genesis 3:1). Then Satan entices Eve from temptation to sin with this lie: You will not certainly die, the serpent said to the woman. 5 For God knows that when you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil (Genesis 3:4-5). Make no mistake: Satan s schemes have not changed. Jesus warns us in John 8:44: He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies. The enemy will attack you and your marriage in the same way he did Eve. He will try to convince you that surely God didn t mean your situation. Satan will attempt to convince a husband that his wife has so badly sinned against him that God s Word doesn t apply in his case. For instance, the husband might think: I know Paul writes: And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you [Ephesians 4:30-32]. But Paul wasn t in my shoes. Not forgiving in this case won t grieve the Holy Spirit, will it? Satan will say to a wife: Maybe God said: Therefore, as God s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. 13 Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 14 And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity [Colossians 3:12-14]. But does that really apply in this circumstance? Satan will lie and tell both husband and wife that Jesus didn t expect them to apply His teaching on forgiveness in every situation. Yet Jesus said in Matthew 6:14-15: For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. 10

12 Forgiveness is just one of the areas where Satan will attack you. He will constantly try to get you to question God and His Word, especially in your special circumstances. This is why you must always be on your guard with all the armor God provides. We can clearly see the belt of truth spoken of in Proverbs 30:5-6: Every word of God is flawless; he is a shield to those who take refuge in him. 6 Do not add to his words, or he will rebuke you and prove you a liar. The only effective way to fight Satan s lies is with God s truth. When we put our trust in God and His absolute truth, Satan cannot defeat us and lead us astray. This is why you must read and study God s Word--His truth--for yourself every day. And it is why--for your marriage--you must study His Word together as a couple regularly. Sabra and I wrote our ebook Couple Connect for this very purpose. In it we want to encourage you to develop a time together each week to discuss and study God s Word and pray as a couple. A link to this free ebook is available by clicking on the title above or on our website: simplyoneinmarriage.com. (Or you can also find a shorter guide in Appendix 2 to get you started quickly.) Discussion Questions 1. Read this chapter together. Make sure you read all the Scripture passages carefully. What are some truths you can apply to your marriage? 2. Do you find it hard at times to trust God at His Word? Do you find it hard at times to believe His Word and live by it? What do you do when you find it difficult? Is there something in His Word you re struggling to trust right now? If so, share this with your spouse and ask them to pray with you. Ask God to give you the faith you need. Pray the prayer of the man who had brought his son to Jesus for healing when he said to Jesus in Mark 9:24: I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief! 3. How important is truth to your marriage? Give reasons for your answer. 4. If truth is a belt that holds everything together, how does truth hold a marriage together? 5. In speaking to the Jews, Jesus spoke these words to those who wanted to follow Him: If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. 32 Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free (John 8:31-32). What is Jesus saying here? What truth is He referring to? How does it set us free? 11

13 Chapter 2: The Breastplate of Righteousness with the breastplate of righteousness in place Ephesians 6:14 The next piece of armor Paul discusses is the breastplate of righteousness. The breastplate guards one of the soldier s most important organs the heart. We can survive without many parts of our body, but one of the organs we definitely can t live without is our heart. Just as a soldier s breastplate guards his physical heart, the breastplate of righteousness protects our spiritual heart. It helps to guard our emotions, because our heart is where our emotions begin. In Paul s day his readers would have understood this connection. It was believed that our thoughts begin in the mind and our emotions begin in the heart. And it was our minds or thoughts that were believed to control us. (We will discuss that later in when we look at the helmet of salvation. ) But our emotions can also control us. They have a powerful influence and, therefore, our heart must be protected. Satan knows this all too well. And he will attack you right there through your emotions. Emotions are not bad in and of themselves. But you must not allow them to lead you to think and act un-biblically. You must put on the breastplate that will protect you from what Paul will shortly refer to as the flaming arrows of the evil one (Ephesians 6:16). (We will look at that more in a future chapter when we discuss the shield of faith. ) So what is this breastplate of righteousness you must put on to protect you from Satan s attacks? Paul is not talking about self-righteousness here. We re not to think we are better than someone else, including our spouse. No, the armor of righteousness is God s righteousness. There is no righteousness in us. Romans 3:23 says: For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. 12

14 Here is what God says about us in Romans 3:10-12: There is no one righteous, not even one; 11 there is no one who understands; there is no one who seeks God. 12 All have turned away, they have together become worthless; there is no one who does good, not even one. This is why every one of us needs God s forgiveness through faith in Jesus Christ. To think we are ever somehow better than our husband or wife is not only ridiculous, but sinful. This is why not forgiving our spouse is sinful. But this is exactly one of the ways Satan works in our heart and mind to lead us to sin and to harm our marriage. When we accept Christ as our Savior and Lord, we put on God s righteousness. Paul says in 2 Corinthians 5:21: God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God. When we accept God s gift of salvation, we are humbled by the fact God would not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all (Romans 8:32). We are humbled that God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us (Romans 5:8). This humbling leads us away from our self-righteousness to God s righteousness as the Holy Spirit comes to live within us when we accept Jesus as our Lord. Self-righteousness leads to us be unforgiving and prideful along with every other work of the flesh (Galatians 5:19-21). This self-righteousness will destroy our marriage. And, oh, how this delights Satan. But God s righteousness will always lead us to act with real love, forgiveness, and all the other fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23). And this pleases God and protects our marriage. Let me warn you, Satan will do his best to corrupt God s perfect plan for your marriage as he did from the beginning with Adam and Eve. And he does this in such a sly manner. One example of this is in the way we view love. Love is the first of the fruits of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22). Marriage requires love. Even the world knows that. But the love of the world and God s love are very different. The world s type of love is all about emotions and feelings. We can see the world s love expressed well in popular songs. Please indulge me for a moment while I step back to my younger days. I can think of two songs that expressed the world s type of love pretty well. 13

15 When I was in junior high in 1969, Hooked on a Feeling was a popular song recorded by B.J. Thomas. 1 In it he tells of how wonderful his girlfriend makes him feel like everything s all right. It s a deep feeling. An almost obsessive desire. He believes she s in love with him. But the entire basis for love is a feeling. A few years later, when I was in high school, Luther Ingram sang a song titled If Loving You Is Wrong, I Don t Want To Be Right 2. In this song, this man is married and has kids. But he is seeing another woman. He knows it s wrong. But his feelings for her are so strong, he says he doesn t want to be right. He would rather do what is wrong. He d rather give up everyone and everything else in his life just to be with her. Again, his idea of love is based on feelings and emotions. As I wrote earlier, there is nothing wrong with feelings and emotions. God gives those to us. When we re led by the Holy Spirit, they can be used by God in wonderful ways. But if we let them control us, then Satan uses them for his evil ways. This is why the breastplate of God s righteousness is so important. It protects us from giving in to ungodly feelings because the truth of God s Word guards our hearts. Are you a husband? Is giving yourself to a woman other than your wife wrong, as the second song asks? The clear answer from God s Word is, Yes. It is sin. If you have the breastplate of God s righteousness, you will know this truth and remain faithful both to your wife and to God. Are you a wife? Is it wrong, as that song asks, to give yourself to another man? Again, the clear answer from God s Word is that it is wrong and is a sin that will greatly damage your marriage, if not destroy it. You will make Satan laugh with delight if you do, but you will break God s heart. The breastplate of righteousness will make certain that God s truth as found in His Word will be the guiding influence in your life. Then your emotions will flow from His truth instead as you are led by God and not by your feelings. It will protect you from giving in to temptations to do wrong. Without the breastplate of righteousness, we will go astray as we allow our emotions to lead us. James 1:21-22 says: get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you. 22 Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. 14

16 Following this command is how to put on God s righteousness. Study God s Word. Know God s Word. Then live by it. This will protect your heart from Satan s attacks and protect your marriage from destruction. Discussion Questions 1. Re-read the Scripture passages in this chapter. Discuss what they tell you about God s provision to make your marriage the beautiful union He intends it to be. Discuss how Satan will try to destroy you and your marriage. And talk about how the weapons and tools God gives to you will fend off Satan s attacks. 2. Think about what controls you most your emotions or God s truth. Be honest with yourselves and with each other. Discuss specific ways you have been controlled by your emotions rather than by God s truth. In what ways did it do harm to your marriage? Ask your husband or wife for forgiveness. Pray that God will help you both respond based on His truth and not your emotions when they conflict with God s Word. 3. Talk about the way emotions can be good or bad. Discuss the difference between emotions leading us and our emotions following behind as we practice God s truth. Which is a beautiful part of God s plan and which is harmful? Why? Which will you ask God to help you to do? 1 Written by Mark James, and first recorded by B.J. Thomas in the album, On My Way in Written by Homer Banks, Carl Hampton and Raymond Jackson. Recorded by Luther Ingram in the album, If Loving You Is Wrong I Don t to Be Right in

17 Chapter 3: Shoes of Peace feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. Ephesians 6:15 In this chapter, we will study the third piece of armor God reveals to us: feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. Today footwear is often a fashion statement. There are many different types, styles, and colors of footwear for various purposes, occasions, and outfits. Our footwear often speaks to others about our personality, our preferences, and our status. This was not the case in Paul s time, especially for soldiers. Their only concern was to have footwear that would protect and aid them in battle. The Roman-Jewish scholar Josephus, who lived during Paul s era, described the Roman soldiers shoes as being thickly studded with sharp nails so they could get a good grip, no matter what the terrain was like when they marched and fought. Historians have credited the success of the armies of both Alexander the Great and Julius Caesar in large measure to the quality of their army s footwear in comparison to that of their opponents. A soldier during Paul s time wore shoes that allowed him to stand firm. This is what Paul calls us to do in Ephesians 6:11: take your stand against the devil s schemes. And in Ephesians 6:13-14: So that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14 Stand firm then. We can only stand firm with the right footwear. What is that right footwear? It is the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace (Ephesians 6:15). But what is that? It is the good news of the gospel message, as Paul discusses in Romans 5:1-2: Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2 through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. 16

18 We can only stand against the attacks from our enemy, Satan, when we have placed our lives entirely in the hands of God by faith in Christ. When you wear the peace of God that comes from faith in Christ, you have the shoes you need to stand firm when Satan attacks. James 4:7 says: Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. That s a promise from God to you. And it is a promise that applies to your marriage. The gospel of peace makes us ready to resist the devil. There is a readiness that God gives us through the Holy Spirit whom He sends to live within us when we are saved. A readiness in a desire to be the husband or wife He calls us to be in His Word. There is a readiness for we husbands to love our wives just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word (Ephesians 5:25-26). There is readiness for you wives to love your husbands, and to submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord (Ephesians 5:22). There is a readiness to do what God teaches us to do through His Word no matter what the world may say to us because we know how much He loves us and wants what is best for us. When you accept God s gracious, loving gift of salvation through faith in Jesus, you are then at peace with God. That sets you free to follow Him instead of being a slave to your sinful, fleshly nature and to Satan s ways, which are the world s ways. You are set free to follow Christ and His ways. Christ Himself said that when you are His, and when you know and live according to His ways, then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free (John 8:32). Paul put it this way in Romans 6:18: You have been set free from sin and have become slaves to righteousness. Then he adds in verses 22-23: But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves of God, the benefit you reap leads to holiness, and the result is eternal life. 23 For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. This is why you can only stand firm and withstand the attacks of our enemy, Satan when you have made peace with God through faith in Christ. You stand firm when you stand on the firm foundation of feet shod in the shoes of God s peace. You will have a strong marriage only when you stand firm on that peace, for that peace allows you to have God s peace in your marriage as well. 17

19 Part of the meaning of strong feet is also to march to take this gospel of peace to others. We certainly are to take it to our spouse and our children first. But we also must take God s peace along with us wherever we go. Paul puts it like this in 2 Corinthians 5:20-21: We are therefore Christ s ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ s behalf: Be reconciled to God. 21 God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God. To have the strong, gracious, loving marriage that God wants, you must stand on the foundation of feet shod with God s gospel of peace. As you remember the peace God has given to you as a gift, you will then be able to pass that peace on to your spouse and to others in your life. (To know more about how to how to have this peace with God, please see Appendix 1.) Discussion Questions 1. Are your feet fit with the love, grace, forgiveness, and peace of God that He offers through Christ? If not, ask Him to take control of your life today. Watch how it changes your life and your marriage. 2. What specific truth from today s lesson did you learn? How did God speak to you about your life and marriage today? What can you do to specifically apply it today and/or this week? 3. One of the ways we can grow in our walk with the Lord individually and with each other is when we share the peace God has given us with others. Think together about and discuss ways you can work together to share this peace with others family, friends, neighbors, etc. 18

20 Chapter 4: The Shield of Faith In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Ephesians 6:16 The next piece of God s protective armor is the shield of faith. Roman soldiers carried one of two types of shields into battle, depending on the type of fighting they would be doing. One type of shield was a small round one, used typically by cavalry soldiers on horseback. It was lightweight and could be held in one hand while fighting with a sword in the other. The type of shield Paul mentions here was carried by foot soldiers. It was large and oblong, covering the soldier s entire body from the top of the head to his feet. Behind it, the soldier s front was completely protected. These shields were made of two layers of wood sealed together, covered with a hide, and held together by iron. This shield was especially important to protect a soldier from what Paul refers to as flaming arrows. The enemy would shoot great waves of arrows at the soldiers that had been dipped in a flammable substance and set on fire. The Roman shields were not only so large they would cover their bodies and protect them from being pierced by the arrows, but they were so thick the arrows would sink into them and the flames would be extinguished. One Roman soldier after a battle wrote of discovering 220 extinguished arrows sticking in his shield. And yet he was unharmed. Paul tells us that faith is a shield like this for us who believe in Christ Jesus. It protects us from being pierced and burned, no matter how fierce Satan s attacks may be. This certainly includes the attacks Satan will bring on our marriage. As we have discussed before, Satan s purpose is to destroy us and our marriages. Jesus tells us in John 10:10: The thief [Satan] comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. Peter writes in 1 Peter 5:8-9: Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. 9 Resist him, standing firm in the faith. 19

21 Just like Paul, Peter warns us and calls us to stand strong against Satan s attacks with our faith. What is this faith that Paul writes about? It is not putting our faith and trust in any person. It is not even talking about putting our faith and trust in our spouse first and foremost, even though we re called to be one with them. You see, every person will at times let us down. Every person is a sinner who will sometimes fail us (Romans 3:23), just as we will fail others. There is only one person we can and should put our faith in and trust completely God. We find this in Psalm 118:8: It is better to take refuge in the LORD than to trust in humans. Don t misunderstand. You can and should trust your spouse. But the only person you can know for certain will never let you down in any way and at any time is Christ Jesus. Satan will fire at you his flaming arrows of doubt, jealousy, anger, selfishness, lust The list could go on. But God s shield will stop those arrows and keep them from getting through to destroy you and your marriage. Faith brings us to God and keeps us in touch with God the One who will keep those flaming arrows away. Paul tells us earlier in Ephesians in Ephesians 2:8: For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God. Faith saves us, and faith keeps us certain that the God who saved us will be true to His Word. The writer of Hebrews assures us in Hebrews 11:1: Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. When you have God standing between you and the enemy, Satan will not be able to get his flaming arrows through to harm you or your marriage. Paul asks us in Romans 8:31: If God is for us, who can be against us? Then he answers his question with these words in Romans 8:38-39: For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. When you have the protection of God s shield through faith in Him, nothing can overpower you or your marriage. 20

22 Faith is complete trust in Christ. It is a close, personal relationship with Him. Such a relationship built on complete faith in Him cannot help but provide what you need for a strong, growing marriage. Discussion Questions 1. Do you have that close personal relationship with Christ that comes from faith in Him the relationship He wants to have with you? It is the only way to have the God s shield of protection. If you don t have that relationship, please see Appendix 1 to find out more. 2. Do you regularly study God s Word and pray both individually and as a couple? This is necessary if you want to continue growing in your faith in God and in oneness with each other Of course, you will need a Bible to use as your primary source of study. You can read a lot about living a life of faith in Jesus Christ by many good authors. But nothing takes the place of reading God s Word for yourself. To know God s truth, you must read His own words. Other resources can indeed be helpful. And here are some suggestions: Bible studies. Look for Bible studies that are full of Scripture. The more Scripture, the more sure you can be of understanding the truth of God s Word. You might be interested in our Couple s Bible Study posts at simplyoneinmarriage.com. We put a new one out each week. And these are great to use in your Bible study time together. Devotional guides. These are excellent to guide your daily individual time with the Lord. But they can also be used as a guide in your couple time as well. One that I have used daily for years is entitled Encounter with God and is produced by Scripture Union. It includes a daily devotion that takes you through the entire Bible every five years. Go to scriptureunion.org for more information. I also have used a daily devotional for years by -- Daily Encouragement. More information on it can be found at dailyencouragement.net. Couple Connect. We ve created this planning tool to help you design a weekly couple time together. As mentioned previously, there is a short worksheet in Appendix 2 to get you started quickly. But if you want to read more about designing your own Couple Connect time together, we suggest downloading our free ebook here: Couple Connect: A Simple Weekly Plan to Stay Close for a Lifetime. 21

23 3. Reread Ephesians 6:10-20, especially verses Discuss together what these verses mean to you and to your marriage. Discuss ways you will work to increase your faith in Christ, and thus protect your marriage. 4. Do you place more faith and trust in your husband or wife than in Christ? Discuss why it is important to trust Christ first. Discuss how trusting Christ first will help improve your trust in each other also and will improve your marriage overall. 22

24 Chapter 5: The Helmet of Salvation Take the helmet of salvation... - Ephesians 6:17 What exactly is this helmet and why does Paul place it this far down in the list? It s like when you ve just finished a wonderful dinner and compliment the chef, only to have her say, I m glad you enjoyed it, but I ve saved the best for last. Then she brings out the pièce de résistance your absolute favorite dessert. Perhaps that s what Paul is doing here saving the best for last. Well, almost last. This is not the last piece of armor he writes about. He has two more to go. But I say this because the final three pieces combined are certainly the three most important salvation, the Word of God, and prayer. In this chapter, we ll focus on the first of these salvation and see why it is so important in the protection of our marriage. First we must understand that salvation is not something that just takes place on a certain day in our life. No, that day is only the beginning of our salvation. It s true that the moment we give ourselves to Christ whether recently or long ago He forgives us of all our sins forever. But salvation is more than mere forgiveness of sins. It is the beginning of a beautiful, personal relationship with Jesus Christ as Lord of our lives I gave my life to Christ almost 50 years ago. But I have been living with and for Him ever since. And the same is true for each of us. Salvation begins at the moment we accept Christ as our personal Savior and Lord and we move forward in Him from that day on. Salvation gives us the first and most important tool we need to live the Christian life. It is what we must have to take our stand day in and day out against the devil s schemes (Ephesians 6:11). This tool is the Holy Spirit. God used the Holy Spirit to lead us to salvation. Then when we received His gift of salvation, He sent His Holy Spirit to live within us forever with the armor we need to stand firm when the enemy attacks. This is true in the life of every believer. 23

25 Paul wrote in Galatians 6:5 that God sent Jesus so we could be saved from the eternal death we deserve because of our sin. Romans 6:23 says: For the wages of sin is death but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. This salvation allows us to be adopted into His family when we accept Jesus as our Savior. (See Ephesians 1:5.) Paul then writes in Galatians 4:6-7: Because you are his sons, God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out, Abba, Father. 7 So you are no longer a slave, but God s child; and since you are his child, God has made you also an heir. We receive the Holy Spirit when we give our lives to Christ. He is the One Jesus promised would come when He said to His disciples and to us in John 16:13: But when he, the Spirit of truth, comes, he will guide you into all the truth. When we accept Jesus as our Savior, the Holy Spirit comes to live in us and helps us fight off the attacks of Satan. We have forgiveness of our past sins and His strength to overcome sin today and in the future. Think about our enemy for a moment. Where does Satan focus many of his attacks? In our minds. He certainly attacks our bodies, our finances, our emotions, and yes, definitely our marriage. But in all of those, he is attacking our thoughts. For example, if you suddenly develop a serious illness, you might start thinking: Why would God let me become so ill? What if we get into financial trouble? If God loves me, He ll heal me, right? But if God doesn t bail you out of your difficulty pretty quickly, Satan rushes in to attack you in your thoughts. He will plant the thought in your mind: God doesn t really care for you. Isn t this how he approached Adam and Eve in the Garden? (See Genesis 3:1-7). His strategy is to get you to doubt everything you say you believe. The enemy desires to get you to begin to think terrible things about your God. He questions Gods truth and twists it into lies. And then he entices you with his sly ways to get you to do the same in your own mind. When this happens, it doesn t stop with questioning God. It often leads you to think the worst of co-workers, friends, fellow church family, and even your own family members, including your spouse. When you reach this point, Satan has you going down a destructive path. A path that can lead to the destruction of your marriage. I have counseled many couples who were running down this path and didn t realize it. This is why we are warned in Scripture about the need to guard our mind. We find this truth over and over again in God s Word. 24

26 Paul warns us about the importance of our thoughts to our Christian walk in Philippians 4:8: Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable if anything is excellent or praiseworthy think about such things. Can you honestly say this is true in your life? Are you careful in what you read? What you watch on TV? What you search for and look at on the internet? What you listen to on the radio? Need I go on? (And, yes, my finger is pointing right back at myself!) Do your thoughts help your walk with Christ? Do they help your marriage to grow? If you can t say yes, your thoughts are likely hurting both of these most important relationships. Why do we keep these negative and harmful thoughts (and the activities that reinforce them) in our life? Why do we take down the defenses God has provided to protect us and hand Satan weapons to use against us, against our marriage, and against our walk with Christ? We can find the answer in Colossians 3:1-2: Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. 2 Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. It has to do with where we set our hearts and minds. We are to set our desires and thoughts on the things of God, not the things of this world. We must ask ourselves: Am I living by this command from God? If we do not follow God s truths, we have no excuse for wondering why our life and marriage are a mess. James warns us about this in James 1:13-15: When tempted, no one should say, God is tempting me. For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; 14 but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. 15 Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death. When our marriage has problems, we need to look to God for the solution. But don t look to God as a scapegoat or a cause. That will get you nowhere except to play right into Satan s hands and continue down the path of destruction. God gives us His solution in Romans 12:2: Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God s will is his good, pleasing and perfect will. Again, the answer is in our mind the renewing of our mind and our way of thinking. 25

27 We see it clearly in 2 Corinthians 10:3-5: For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. 4 The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. 5 We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. The weapons mentioned here are the full armor given to us by God Himself. This includes the helmet of salvation that protects our mind and our thoughts. When we guard our mind, we can stay focused on Him and His way--the only way that leads to the marriage we want and the one He desires for us. Matthew 7:13-14 tells us more about this way: Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. 14 But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it. If you are still trying do it your own way, you do not have the helmet you need for your life and marriage. (To find out more about salvation and how to receive it from God, please read Appendix 1.) We can learn how to have the mind of Christ and how to take every thought captive--making it obedient to Christ--as we study His Word. Again, Paul said in 2 Corinthians 10:5: We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. As we guard our mind against the attacks of the enemy and stand firm in our salvation, this will protect our marriage to become the beautiful relationship God designed it to be. Discussion Questions 1. Read the chapter together, focusing carefully on the Scriptures. Discuss together the importance of salvation to your marriage. (If either of you has not surrendered your life to Christ, read Appendix 1 for more information.) 2. Honestly discuss together the things that you watch (TV, movies, etc.), what you listen to, what you read, etc. How do they impact you? Discuss ways you may need to change some of this. 3. Confess to each other any thought problems you struggle with. It may seem too minor to mention to your spouse or too great to admit, but it is important you work together. Listen 26

28 with love and compassion as you both share your struggles. Don t become angry or blow them off as too insignificant. Pray for each other s struggles. Commit to continue to pray for each other in the week ahead. Check in with each other throughout the week and hold each other accountable, with grace and gentleness. And as you do this, don t take offense when your spouse asks about how you re doing with your struggle. Be thankful for their commitment to help you as you seek to overcome it. 3. Commit to God and each other that you will be good stewards of your time. Study God s Word both together and individually instead of watching so much TV or other leisure activities. Use Couple Connect as a guide for your time together (see Appendix 2). Commit to lovingly hold each other accountable to spend time individually with the Lord. 27

29 Chapter 6: The Sword of the Spirit The Word of God the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God - Ephesians 6:17 This piece of armor is powerful. It is the sword of the Spirit. When Paul writes the word of God, he means the Scripture or the Bible. How is the Bible like a soldier s sword, and why is that important to protecting our marriage? A soldier s sword could be used defensively when attacked by the enemy. It could also be used offensively when attacking an enemy. It is the only piece of the soldier s armor that Paul discusses the only piece of the armor of God that would be used primarily in an offensive way. This sword of the Spirit is used defensively against the attacks of Satan and sin (Ephesians 6:11-13). It is used offensively to attack Satan and his evil forces attempts to take as many people to hell as possible. We can use this sword in our marriage to eliminate Satan s lies and other weapons he tries to wield against us, before he can use them to destroy our oneness. The word Paul uses for sword describes a short two-edged weapon that was used in the cutand-thrust, close hand-to-hand combat that foot soldiers faced most often in battles. It was two-edged, meaning it was sharp on both edges so that the soldier could do damage to the enemy no matter which way he applied it in the fury of a fight. It was another tool of a Roman soldier that made their armies the most powerful and feared in the world in Paul s time. Hebrews 4:12 says of God s Word: For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. Notice here that we use this double-edged sword first in our own life and in our marriage. Like a good soldier, we need this sword of the Spirit God s Word to make sure we are ready for the battle we know will come with Satan and his evil forces. When we study God s word both individually and together as a couple it cuts through to our hearts, teaching us how we need 28

30 to live as a Christ-honoring husband and wife. It also convicts us where we are not doing this, so we can ask God s forgiveness and repent by living as it teaches. This is what Paul writes to his young protégé in 2 Timothy 3:16-17: All Scripture is Godbreathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, 17 so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work. Scripture teaches us how we should live out God s plan for us individually and together in marriage. It convicts us when we go astray from God s plan, so we can confess our wrong way and turn to doing it His way. This is the only way for us to have the joyous, God-honoring marriage He desires for us. This prepares us to have a marriage that God will use for His glory and our good. It will allow us to fight off the attacks of Satan. And it will allow God to use us as His soldiers to take His message to those in the world around us. Jesus Himself demonstrated how to use the sword of God s Word when He was tempted by Satan in the wilderness. We find this in Matthew 4:1-11. Jesus is taken to a high mountain immediately after His baptism, where He fasts for forty days. Satan then comes to tempt Him to sin. With each enticement, Jesus rejects the temptation with a truth from Scripture. Jesus uses relevant passages in God s Word to fight and defeat Satan s attacks. And we must do the same in our life and marriage. This is why the psalmist writes in Psalm 119:11: I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you. We too must learn, study, and put God s Word into practice. We must do this both individually and as a couple. Finally, notice that this sword God has given to us is called the sword of the Spirit (Ephesians 6:17). It is the Holy Spirit whom God uses to cut into our hearts with His Word so we recognize we are sinners who need Jesus as our Savior and Lord. It is the Holy Spirit whom God sends to live within us when we accept Jesus as our Lord and Savior. (See Appendix 1.) And it is the Holy Spirit who uses God s Word to teach us and who empower us to do what He teaches us. We are never alone in our battle against Satan, because God is always with us in the presence of His Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit wrote the Word of God by leading committed, Spirit-filled godly men to write it. We find in 2 Peter 1:21: For prophecy never had its origin in the human will, but prophets, though human, spoke from God as they were carried along by the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit uses God s Word to guide us and empowers us to live according to it. He also uses it to deal Satan a blow that cripples him and keeps him from hindering God s work in and through us. 29

31 The more we know the Word of God, the better we will be able to recognize Satan s lies and defend ourselves from, and fight off, his attacks in our life and marriage. We will be able to reject Satan s evil, lying, destructive offers. We will remain faithful to God and to our spouse. And this will allow us to have a beautiful, God-honoring marriage. Discussion Questions 1. Discuss the importance of God s Word in your life as an individual and together as a couple. What are some ways God has used Scripture to guide you? Try to recall specific examples. This should be an encouragement to you and your marriage. 2. Is there a decision you are trying to make right now? What Scriptures might be used by the Holy Spirit to help you in this? A good Bible concordance or dictionary is a great tool to aid in this, as it will help you find Scripture references by topics. Many Bibles, especially study Bibles have these tools. We highly recommend these online tools: BibleGateway.com BibleStudyTools.com 3. Do you have a plan by which you hide God s Word in your heart so the Holy Spirit can teach and lead you? If not, why not commit to one another that you will do so, and then hold each other accountable. Memorize a verse together each week and review them on a regular basis. Here is a great online tool Sabra uses in her scripture memory: ScriptureTyper.com 4. Pray together asking God s Spirit to give you a strong desire to study His Word and to help you apply what He teaches you. 30

32 Chapter 7: Prayer And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord s people. Ephesians 6:18 Our final chapter will explore the seventh and final piece of armor Paul lists that God gives us for protection prayer. We don t always think of prayer as a piece armor or a weapon. But it is both. When we or someone we love is in a difficult situation, we might say something like this: All I can do is pray. One of my seminary professors once commented: To say, All I can do is pray, is like a general saying in a battle, All I have to fight the enemy with is a nuclear bomb. Unfortunately, all too often we forget this essential truth: Prayer is powerful! Paul knew the power of prayer. That s why he concluded this section of his letter by calling on us to pray, and by asking for prayer for himself (Ephesians 6:19-20). He may not have assigned a specific piece of a Roman soldier s gear to prayer, as he did with the other parts of God s protective armor, but he knew it was a vital part of what believers need in the war with Satan. Prayer must encompass everything. In war, prayer is a bit like a force field or shield found in science fiction stories. Star Trek comes to mind. Whenever an enemy attacks a starship, space station, or even a planet, the captain or other leader would give the command to put up this shield for protection. Of course Star Trek and its shields are fiction, and they were limited both in the amount of time they were effective and in their power. But God is not limited in any way. There are no limits to the help, guidance, and power He brings to us and to our marriage when we pray. 31

33 Prayer is essential to our life and to our marriage. Prayer is the power that enables us to put on and wear the armor of God and to fight with the sword He provides for us. Prayer is the force that protects us and our marriage and gives us the strength to fend off the attacks of Satan. Paul believed prayer was so important that he wrote about it often. For example, he wrote to the Christians in Philippi: Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5 Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:4-7). He wrote to the Christians at Colossae, in Colossians 4:2: Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful. Key Elements of a Powerful Prayer Life In Ephesians 6:18, Paul also instructs us about some key elements that should be part of our prayer life. First, he writes that we should pray in the Spirit. As believers, we have the Holy Spirit who is God Himself living in us. Jesus promised that the Spirit would guide us in John 16:13: But when he, the Spirit of truth, comes, he will guide you into all the truth. He will not speak on his own; he will speak only what he hears, and he will tell you what is yet to come. So when we pray, we can know the Holy Spirit will direct us in how to pray. When we pray the very things God teaches in His Word, we can be sure it is the Holy Spirit leading us, because His Word is truth (John 17:17). When we pray together as husband and wife, we can be even more certain we are praying His will. Jesus promised in Matthew 18:19-20: Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. 20 For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them. The Holy Spirit will lead us together to pray and do His will. 32

34 Second, Paul tells us we should pray on all occasions. This means that we should pray about whatever is going on in our life. He says a similar thing in 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18: Rejoice always, 17 pray continually, 18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God s will for you in Christ Jesus. When God says to pray on all occasions and continually, he doesn t mean we should be on our knees somewhere praying every minute throughout the day and night. But He does mean we need to pray about everything in our life, no matter how big or small. We have a tendency to think we only need to pray about the big or important things. It is probably one of the biggest mistakes in our Christian walk and in our marriage to think that we only need to pray when there is a major crisis. Satan knows when we are most vulnerable, and he will attack us when we least expect it in the everyday aspects of life. Pray for the big things, of course. But also pray continually for God s help and protection for you and your spouse as you live out your normal, everyday life. Third, Paul calls us to pray all types of prayers and requests. Some translations say prayers and supplications, or prayers and petitions. The word for prayers means any type of prayer. But Paul adds requests, which means praying for specific things especially for the needs of others. Again, we should pray individually and together as a couple for ourselves, for each other, for our marriage, and for others. This is what Paul means in Ephesians 6:18: always keep on praying for all the Lord s people. He also asks the Ephesian believers to pray for him: Pray also for me, that whenever I speak, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel, 20 for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should (Ephesians 6:19-20). Finally, Paul encourages us in Ephesians 6:18 with this simple but important phrase: Be alert. It is a word that literally means to stay awake. It means to never be off our guard. And to be persistent, persevere, and not give up. 33

35 It is much like Paul s words Galatians 6:9: Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. To pray is to do God s good work. To be alert is what Jesus tried to teach His disciples in the Garden of Gethsemane. In the last hours before His crucifixion, Jesus went a distance away from them to pray. After a short while, He came back and found His disciples had fallen asleep. He quickly woke them and said: Couldn t you men keep watch with me for one hour? he asked Peter. 41 Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak (Matthew 26:40-41). Always be aware Satan is out to destroy you and your marriage. Every day you must prayerfully put on each piece of God s armor and stand ready for whatever Satan throws at you and your marriage. To be sure, you will face spiritual battles daily, and on some days the attacks can be intense. None of us can face today s spiritual battles without the protection of God s armor. As you pray each day, ask God to prepare you, dressing you in His full armor. With His protection, you can live victoriously and have a blessed marriage that will bring glory to God. Discussion Questions 1. Review the chapter together, including the Scriptures. 2. What have your attitudes been about prayer? Do you see it as powerful and essential? Does the current amount of time you pray reflect this? 3. Do you pray regularly on your own? Do you pray about the little things as well as the big things? 4. Do you pray together as a couple? If not, begin praying together today. It can be short and simple. But it will be powerful. You can begin by asking God to help you through the Holy Spirit as you pray. (Husbands, I know this may be difficult for you, but God has given you the responsibility of leading your wife in this [see Ephesians 5:25-30].) 5. How can you live your life more alert and aware of the spiritual battle you face each day? 34

36 Conclusion Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Ephesians 6:10 The verses in Ephesians 5:21-6:9 immediately before those on the armor of God we have just studied are a discussion of family relationships. This discussion begins in Ephesians 5:21-33 with the longest teaching on marriage in the Bible. Of course, this is not by accident. God never does anything by accident. Every Word in the Bible is put there on purpose and placed exactly where He intended. Marriage has been a key part of God s plan from before Creation. Satan has made it a vital part of his war against mankind to destroy marriage and the family from the beginning. So it makes perfect sense that God would begin His teaching on the family with marriage in Ephesians 5: And it is logical that He would then move from there to the rest of the household in Ephesians 6:1-9. Finally, in God s perfect design, He next tells us in Ephesians 6:10-20 how to protect our marriage and family from Satan s ongoing efforts to destroy them. Paul begins this section in Ephesians 6:10 with the word "finally." This word means that he is bringing his entire letter to the believers at Ephesus to a close. These are his final words to God s holy people in Ephesus, the faithful in Christ Jesus (Ephesians 1:1). They conclude what he has previously written. So they are important. And we had better pay close attention. Paul s next words that introduce the armor he is about to describe are crucial. He says in Ephesians 6:10: be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. If we try to put on armor and fight against Satan in our own power, we will fail. When the boy David volunteered to fight the giant Goliath, King Saul gave him his own armor to wear. We read what happened in 1 Samuel 17:38-39: Then Saul dressed David in his own tunic. He put a coat of armor on him and a bronze helmet on his head. 39 David fastened on his sword over the tunic and tried walking around, because he was not used to them. I cannot go in these, he said to Saul, because I am not used to them. So he took them off. 35

37 David didn t wear a typical soldier s armor. He fought Goliath using only a sling with a rock. But most importantly, he challenged the giant with God s direction and power. We read the outcome of David s encounter with Goliath in 1 Samuel 17:45-46: David said to the Philistine, You come against me with sword and spear and javelin, but I come against you in the name of the LORD Almighty, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied. 46 This day the LORD will deliver you into my hands, and I ll strike you down and cut off your head. And that s exactly what happened. If we try to face Satan on our own or even with man s armor we will fail miserably. But if we fight against the enemy with God s armor, we will defeat him. Just as David defeated Goliath with God s help. We are promised in James 4:7: Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. We are also given two truths by God that apply to this teaching. One is Jesus words in John 15:5: I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. If we trust and follow Him, we ll stand strong. If we try things on our own we will do nothing for Him and fail miserably. We find the second truth in Philippians 4:13: I can do all this through him [Christ] who gives me strength. So we find the key to fending off Satan in Ephesians 6:10: Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. We will only defeat Satan s attacks on our marriage when we depend on God and the armor He gives us. We must never depend on the advice of the world. Being strong in the Lord requires that we, as husband and wife, put on God s armor and battle Satan together with the Lord. We read in Ecclesiastes 4:9-12: Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: 10 If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. 11 Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? 12 Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. That third cord is God. It is the Holy Spirit living in both of us as a couple. When we stand together with God against Satan, he cannot overcome us. 36

38 We stand strong in the Lord when we live out God s Word together. We must do as we are instructed in 1 Peter 2:2-3: Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk [God s Word], so that by it you may grow up in your salvation, 3 now that you have tasted that the Lord is good. By the pure milk of God s Word we will gain the knowledge we require to "be strong in the Lord" (Ephesians 6:10), and to stand against Satan. Learning God s Word and living by it will bring about what He promises in 2 Peter 1:3-4: His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. 4 Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature, having escaped the corruption in the world caused by evil desires. Our marriage is in a spiritual battle. Paul told us in Ephesians 6:12: our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. This is why we must put on the full armor of God both individually and as a couple. We must not leave any part of it off. We must put on the full armor of God or we leave ourselves and our marriage vulnerable to the attacks of Satan. This is why it is very important that we pay close attention to every detail of every passage of Scripture. Being unaware of the significance of some detail or truth will leave us open to Satan s deception. If we allow the deception of Satan to penetrate our lives and marriage, they can be destroyed. When we both wear the full armor of God each day, we will protect our hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. We will be able to withstand all the attacks and lies and temptations that the enemy throws at us. We will be able to love each other with God s love and grace and mercy. And we will grow closer with each other and with the Lord as we walk in His power, His protection, and His promises. Our marriage needs protecting. And with God s perfect armor we will win the battle. 37

39 Appendix 1: How to Make Jesus Your Savior and Lord We talk a lot here and on our website about the importance of having a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. And if you don t know Him, you may be wondering why it matters. It matters because God created us to live our lives with Him to love Him, to depend on Him, to worship Him. Without a personal relationship with God, our lives cannot be complete and filled with His peace and joy. The problem is that every one of us sins. We each choose to do things our own way and discount what God says is right and true. And because of this, sin has separated us from God. Here are some Scriptures that tell us this: Isaiah 53:6 We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to our own way Romans 3:23 All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. The glory of God. That s what we are missing out on. God s glorious love and all the great blessings He desires to give us as part of His family. His presence with us, so we are never alone. His guidance to help us do what s right. His strength to get us through the struggles of this life. His magnificent greatness that gives us security here on earth and for all eternity. That s what He so desperately wants for us because He loves us so much. Tragically, our sin keeps us apart from God forever. We cannot get back into a personal relationship with Him on our own no matter how hard we try. Romans 6:23 says: For the wages of sin is death Death eternal separation from God. Thankfully, God didn t just leave us in this sad state without providing us a way back to Him. He did the unthinkable. He sent His one and only Son Jesus to pay the price for our sins so we could be free to enjoy the loving relationship God wants with us now and throughout eternity. Here is Romans 6:23 in its entirety: For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. The Bible also says: John 3:16 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. 38

40 John 14:6 Jesus answered, I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. Romans 5:8 But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Ephesians 2:8-9 - For it is by grace you have been saved through faith and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God not by works, so that no one can boast. Jesus left heaven and came down to this earth to live a sinless life so that He would be free to sacrifice His life to pay the price for ours. He didn t have to do this. He did it because He loves us, even though we turn away from Him time and again. He made the sacrifice for your life. But it is a gift. And a gift has to be received. The way to receive this free gift of salvation is to recognize your sin and repent of it confess it to God and ask His forgiveness. Believe in all Jesus Christ has done for you and ask Him to be your personal Lord and Savior. Acts 3:19 Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord. Some men asked Jesus: What must we do to do the works God requires? And Jesus answered: The work of God is this: to believe in the one He has sent (John 6:28-29). Romans 10:9-10 If you confess with your mouth Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved. What is essential to understand is that Jesus is not dead. He didn t die on the cross for our sins and that was the end of Him. No! He is real and alive. God raised Him from the dead! He sits at the Father s right hand in heaven. Acts 5:30-32 The God of our ancestors raised Jesus from the dead God exalted him to his own right hand as Prince and Savior that he might bring Israel to repentance and forgive their sins. We are witnesses of these things, and so is the Holy Spirit, whom God has given to those who obey him. When we accept Jesus as our personal Lord and Savior, He immediately welcomes us into His family back into the personal, loving relationship we were meant to have with Him. For Jesus the Son, the heavenly Father, and the Holy Spirit are One. A personal relationship with Jesus is a personal relationship with Almighty God. 39

41 He is present with us in the person of the Holy Spirit, who lives in us who are in Christ. His presence gives us guidance, comfort, peace, and power to do all that God wants us to do in our lives and in our marriage. My friend, Jesus loves you. He wants to have a relationship with You. That is what you were created for! I pray that the Lord God will give you faith to believe in this most precious gift the forgiveness of sins and a life full of the presence of God through the sacrifice of His Son Jesus Christ. And in believing, that You will accept Him as your personal Lord and your Savior. Will you pray to Him now? Please us at sabra@simplyoneinmarriage with any questions you may have. We would like to pray for you and with you. 40

42 Appendix 2: Couple Connect 41

43 Here is a link to our free ebook: Couple Connect: A Simply Weekly Plan to Stay Close for a Lifetime. 42