7 CORE VALUES of the REFUGE

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1 7 CORE VALUES of the REFUGE These core values create the culture of The Refuge. Are the men ready for The Refuge? Commitment to God Matthew Jesus replied, You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind. I give everything and myself as I commit to 100% in my calling. My motive is to please my Heavenly Father. I am truly responsible for my actions and outcomes and own everything that takes place in my life. I am accountable for my results and I know that for things to change, first I must transform and become Christ-like. I am committed to the journey of discipleship! Relational with Others Matthew A second is equally important: Love your neighbor as yourself. I am committed to the Vision, Mission, Culture and success of Refuge Ministries, its Elders, the Staff and its Men at all times. I am a team player and team leader. I do, to the best of my abilities, whatever it takes to stay together and achieve team goals. I focus on co-operation and always come to a resolution, not a compromise.

2 I am flexible in my work and able to change if what I'm doing is not working. I ask for help when I need it and I am compassionate to others who ask me. I speak positively of my fellow Elders, the Staff and the Men at Refuge Ministries in both public and private. I speak with good purpose using empowering and positive conversation. I never use or listen to slander or gossip. I acknowledge what is being said as true for the speaker at that moment and I take responsibility for responses to my communication. I always apologize for any upsets first and then look for a solution. I only discuss concerns in private with the person involved. I view my life as a journey to be enjoyed and appreciated and I create an atmosphere of fun and happiness so all around me enjoy it as well. Teachable / Patience 2 Timothy 2.2 You have heard me teach things that have been confirmed by many reliable witnesses. Now teach these truths to other trustworthy people who will be able to pass them on to others. Good enough, isn't good enough! I always deliver on my responsibilities with exceptional quality that add value to all involved for the long term. I look for ways to do more with less and stay on a path of constant and never ending improvement and innovation. I learn from my mistakes. I consistently learn, grow and master so that I can help my fellow Elders, Staff and men learn, grow and master too. I impart practical and useable knowledge rather than just theory.

3 Honest / Authentic James 5.16 Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results. Gratitude / Thankful I always speak the truth. What I promise is what I deliver. I only make agreements (verbal and written), with myself and others that I am willing and intend to keep. I communicate potential broken agreements at the first opportunity and I clear up all broken agreements immediately. I am consistent in my actions so others can feel comfortable in dealing with me at all times. Philippines 4.6 Don t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. I am a truly grateful person. I am so grateful to have God in my life. I thank others and show appreciation often and in many ways, so those around me know how much I appreciate everything and everyone I have in my life. I celebrate my blessings and the blessings of the team. I consistently catch myself and other people doing things right and affirm them. Courage / Faith Hebrews 11.6 And it is impossible to please God without faith. Anyone who wants to come to him must believe that God exists and that he rewards those who sincerely seek him. I am a blessed person, I desire God s blessing and I am easily able to both give and receive it.

4 I allow blessing in all areas of my life by expecting it from my Heavenly Father, respecting my own self worth and that of all others as well. I am rewarded to the level that I create abundance for others and I accept that abundance only shows up in my life to the level at which I show up and am faithful. Work Ethic / Faithfulness / Stewardship 1 Thessalonians Make it your goal to live a quiet life, minding your own business and working with your hands, just as we instructed you before. Then people who are not Christians will respect the way you live, and you will not need to depend on others. I totally focus my thoughts, energy and attention on the successful outcome of whatever I am doing with the skills, talents and gifts God has given me. I am willing to win and allow others to win. At all times, I display my inner pride, prosperity, competence and personal assurance in Jesus Christ. I am a successful ambassador of Jesus Christ. I will take responsibility to utilize stewardship practices and stay within the budget and work in unity with the team to become a sustainable ministry model. I will not over spend and I will look for innovative ways to cut costs and generate revenue. I will support the checks, balances and measurements for financial accountability to display a responsible steward to the men and the Lord. I will hold myself and others accountable to treat all assets with the utmost respect due to the understanding the Lord owns all that we have.

5 REFUGE CORE CURRICULUM FOR CHURCHES P.O. Box Columbus, Ohio

6 How to Use this Curriculum This curriculum is simple to use and to duplicate. It maximizes on each person s individual experiences by creating an environment where everyone is encouraged to share with the group. In this way, honesty and authenticity are unlocked that helps us discover that God has placed within each of us everything we need to be free. This curriculum requires a single facilitator who leads the group but is not required to teach. STEP ONE: A different person in the group will read a single paragraph from the page, staring with the scripture at the top. Everyone will underline any part of that paragraph that speaks to them as being helpful their present situation. STEP TWO: When the entire page has been read, each person in the group will share what they underlined, explaining why this part was helpful. STEP THREE: Everyone will read aloud the prayer that is included at the end of the lesson. STEP FOUR: After everyone has shared, take a few minutes for people to fill out the evaluation at the end of the lesson. STEP FIVE: Ask people to voluntarily share what they have written in their evaluation. The meeting can end in prayer or any other ministry or activity that the facilitator deems necessary. The concluding scripture should be memorized and recited the following week.

7 Refuge Affiliated Churches This curriculum is designed as a seven week course, expressing the core values and culture of The Refuge. It can be used as a stand-alone recovery course offered by a church or as a supplement to an existing recovery ministry already offered. The Refuge recognizes certain Refuge Affiliate Churches who use this curriculum. Many of the individuals involved in their recovery program only need the added support that the weekly meetings provide. Others need more extensive recovery treatment. Those people will have the option to move on to The Refuge to participate in their more extensive residential recovery program. The local church is the appropriate vehicle to determine whether an individual needs The Refuge and is ready to commit themselves to an extensive recovery process. The Refuge can serve local affiliated churches as an option for people who needed more serious treatment for their addictions while affiliated churches can serve as a vehicle for vetting potential residents for The Refuge. It s a winwin situation. For more information on The Refuge or to see how your church can become a Refuge Affiliated Church, please visit The Refuge s website at: therefugeohio.org

8 #1: How to Make a Commitment to God Matthew 22:37 Jesus replied, You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind. means that we will have to turn away from other commitments that don t contribute to our goal of serving God and being free. Nothing good ever happens without commitment. Commitments are necessary for any achievement in life. Athletes make commitments. Farmers make commitments. Parents make commitments. Being free from addictions is no different. It takes more than a desire. We have desired many things in life and never achieved them. If we are going to experience true freedom, we must be totally committed to the process. Being committed to freedom means we also must be committed to serving God, because only God can help achieve the freedom we desire. People have tried it on their own and failed many times. Why? Because it was a power beyond our control that brought us to this point, now it will take a power beyond ours to bring us out. Fortunately, God has that power! Being committed to God means that we are committed to obey His Word the Bible. We believe that God is the architect of humanity and only His Word can bring us the truth we need in order to be set free. Even when it s difficult, we must be committed to living like the Bible says, no matter the cost. This means that we must do some things we don t want to do. It also means that we must stop doing some things we might like to do. Commitment to God means we are committed to keep His Word. Making a commitment to God is simple. It s as easy as ABC Acknowledge, Believe and Commit. The first step is acknowledging our responsibility for our sin without blaming others and making excuses for ourselves. The second step is believing that God is the answer and reveals truth in the Bible. The third step is committing to process of freedom, whatever the requirements. Our Prayer of Commitment Almighty God, I need to know You personally and experience freedom from all addiction. I admit my sin and blame nothing and no one else for it. Please forgive me. I believe in You and Your power to set me free. I commit myself to the process of freedom and to following your Word no matter the costs. In the name of Jesus Christ Your Son, Amen. Our Scripture to Remember Joshua 24:15 choose you this day whom ye will serve but as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD. Our Evaluation of Self Being committed to God means that we must be willing to reprioritize our lives. Nothing is more important right now than being free. This must be our total focus as we move forward. Anything in life that holds us back from that goal must be released. This THE REFUGE P.O. Box Columbus, Ohio info@therefugeohio.org

9 #2: How to Be Relational with Others Matthew 22:39 A second is equally important: Love your neighbor as yourself. People who try to take advantage of us, control us, tempt us, or make it difficult or impossible to serve God and others must be given boundaries they do not cross. That way, we are free to fulfill our commitment to God for freedom. In the beginning of time, God created the first man, Adam. Even though Adam was living in a perfect environment and walking in a perfect relationship with his Creator, God looked at his situation and said, It is not good for man to be alone (Genesis 2:18). This is God s commentary on our need for healthy human relationships. Many people have never known healthy relationships. However, an important part of our freedom is learning how to develop and maintain healthy relationships. This means that learning how to relate with other people plays an important role in our freedom. We must learn how to build healthy relationships. Learning how to build healthy relationships starts with having a good attitude about ourselves. When a person does not like themselves, they cannot expect others to like them nor will they like others. People are attracted to those who are secure and have a positive outlook on life. We need to allow God s love for us to build up our self-worth so others can enjoy us, so that we might serve them. Learning to build healthy relationships means we learn to gladly serve others by placing their needs before our own. This allows us to build a strong team of people around us. When everyone has that same mindset, nobody is left out and we don t have to walk the journey to freedom on our own. Our Prayer of Commitment: Almighty God, I know that you created me to be part of a team. I cannot make this journey of freedom alone. I realize that people are not perfect and neither am I. Only you, O Lord, are the Perfect One. Give me grace to be real, authentic and vulnerable as I learn how to build healthy relationships. Help me to extend grace to other and forgive anyone who I think has wronged me. In Jesus name, Amen. Our Scripture to Remember Ephesians 4:29 Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers. Our Evaluation of Self Learning how to build healthy relationships means not feeling superior or inferior to others. We are all the same in the eyes of God. The Bible says in Romans 3:23 that we have all sinned and come short of the glory of God. This puts us all in the same boat. That makes us equal. We cannot feel superior to others when we admit our own sins and should not feel inferior to others because we know that they have sinned, too. Learning how to build healthy relationships sometimes means we have to set boundaries. THE REFUGE P.O. Box Columbus, Ohio info@therefugeohio.org

10 #3: How to Be Teachable and Patient Nobody learns who does not first admit their ignorance. This is a shock to people who always want to impress others with their knowledge. While they work hard to try and hide their ignorance, wise people admit their ignorance, knowing that to do so opens up the possibility to truly learn something new. Truly intelligent people admit their need to learn more. All of us have blind spots. We don t know what we don t know. None of us can say that we have it all together. True wisdom is not revealed by what a person says it is revealed by looking at their life. This includes the strength of our families, friendships, finances, reputations in the community, physical health, etc. These are the things that testify of our wisdom. If they need improvement, then admitting our ignorance in these areas is the first step in learning. Being teachable is certainly a quality that a person can build upon. That s because the humility it takes to be teachable and patient is the driving force that draws people closer to God. The Bible says in James 4:6 that God resists the proud but gives grace to the humble. In our journey to freedom, we need all of God s grace that we can get. Certainly we don t need God to resist us because of our lack of humility. Being teachable is a sign of humility. Besides being teachable, we must also be patient. God has certainly been patient with us many times. The fact that we are still alive II Timothy 2:2 You have heard me teach things that have been confirmed by many reliable witnesses. Now teach these truths to other trustworthy people who will be able to pass them on to others. gives testimony to many of us that God is a patient and loving God. Now we must apply that patience personally and prepare ourselves for a long journey to freedom. We also extend that same patience to others. Perhaps some of these people are making the journey to freedom with us. We will be patient with one another. Or perhaps these are people we have hurt or let down in the past. We must be patient with them in the same way that God has been patient with us. Our Prayer of Commitment: Almighty God, there are many things I need to learn. My life is laid out before you. I can hide nothing from You. I humble myself before you and ask that you help make me teachable and patient. Use others to help show me the way. And may the same patience you have displayed to me, be the patience I extend to others. Our Scripture to Remember Ephesians 4:29 Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers. Our Evaluation of Self THE REFUGE P.O. Box Columbus, Ohio info@therefugeohio.org

11 #4: How to be Honest and Authentic James 5:16 Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results. Everything a person needs to be free from all bondage is found within. God has put a measure of faith in every human being according to Romans 12:3, as God has dealt to each one a measure of faith. With every word of instruction He speaks into the hearts of people, He infuses the power to accomplish what He has said. One of the keys to unlocking this power is learning to be honest and authentic. As long as people wear masks and hide behind their dishonesty and game-playing, they will never unlock the power of God in their lives. However, when a person lets down that guard and becomes transparent with others, exposing with honesty the true person who lives within, the power of God will be unlocked and true freedom begins. There are many scriptures that tell us to repent. That word means to change our mind. A physical act like baptism (see Acts 2:38) was often required along with repentance. In other places, we are also told to confess our sins (see James 5:16). What repentance and confession have in common is the need to be honest and authentic. Being open and talking about our strengths is easy, but being open and talking about our sins is not. The good news is that being honest and authentic comes naturally for all human beings. Have you ever observed children? They are completely honest and open. They know no other way. They are perfectly unashamed and truthful. Dishonesty and hypocrisy are learned behaviors. The good news is that they can also be unlearned. Jesus taught us to enter into the Kingdom as little children (Matthew 18:3). Today, we take off the masks and learn to be real! Our Prayer of Commitment: Almighty God, help me today become as a little child. I confess my sin before you and before others. It is useless for me to hide behind my masks any longer. I confess my need for You and I confess your love for me. All the power I need is in me today. So I choose to be an honest and authentic person, unlocking the power that will set me free. In Jesus name, Amen. Our Scripture to Remember 1 Samuel 16:7 For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart. Our Evaluation of Self Why would God require this kind of honesty? Does he need to know about our sins? No. He already knows! Does he just want to humiliate us in front of others? No. God desires to build us up. Then why would God require us to confess our sins and participate in acts of repentance? Because these acts force us to be honest and authentic, which opens up the power of God that flows from within! THE REFUGE P.O. Box Columbus, Ohio info@therefugeohio.org

12 #5: How to Be Grateful and Thankful Philippines 4:6 Don t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Many people suffer from having a desire for more without being thankful for what they have. This can lead to the destruction of a person. The craving for a new high can easily blind them to the blessings of family and friends. Never satisfied, their lust for more turns into an obsession that can easily destroy their life and the lives of their loved ones. Our desire for more should never be as strong as our feelings of gratitude for what God has done in our lives. If a person was honest, there are many things that God has done for each of us. Life itself is a gift from God. Most of us can walk, talk, and are intelligent enough to comprehend what is being said right now. We live in a country where learning how to read and write is a free opportunity. We worship without fear of being harmed. And many of us can recount numerous times when we should have been dead. Yet miraculously, here we are! Thank God! Yes, we have many things for which we should be thankful. Even the rough times we experience can have a positive outcome. Anytime we use our negative experiences as stepping stones to move higher, we discover new levels of our own strength. And when we use those past experiences to help other people, we come to the place where we can actually thank God for them. said in Philippians 4:6, Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. This verse says that regular thanksgiving should accompany our prayer requests. Why? Because God understands that only a satisfied and thankful heart can handle more of His abundant blessings. It s time to be that kind of person! Our Prayer of Commitment: Almighty God, today I ask for nothing only to give you thanks! I am grateful for everything you have done for me. You gave your Son, Jesus, to be condemned and take my penalty on the cross of Calvary. You have given me an opportunity to have my sins forgiven and to know you. Thank you, Father. Thank you for what you have done in my life. Thank you for the good times and the bad. Thank you for this group and the people here today. I am truly blessed! In Jesus name, Amen. Our Scripture to Remember Psalms 118:24 - This is the day that the Lord has made; we will rejoice and be glad in it. Our Evaluation of Self Until we learn to be grateful and thankful for what we already have, we cannot expect God to give us more. Gratitude is one of the key elements of getting our prayers answered. Speaking of prayer while sitting in prison, Paul THE REFUGE P.O. Box Columbus, Ohio info@therefugeohio.org

13 #6: How to Have Courage and Faith Hebrews 11:6 And it is impossible to please God without faith. Anyone who wants to come to him must believe that God exists and that he rewards those who sincerely seek him. We have all heard stories about our many heroes who displayed great courage and faith. Usually these stories involve some great villain or dangerous situation that a person has had to overcome. Maybe these stories come from the pages of history or the pages of a comic book. Perhaps our heroes are real or perhaps they are made up. Either way, most people never believe that they could ever achieve the same valiant status as their heroes. Yet the Bible says that there is a hero in all of us. In Romans 8:31 it says, If God is for us, who can be against us? And then a few verses later it adds, Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us (verse 37). You see, because God, the Hero of all heroes, lives inside us, we are able to overcome anything the enemy throws at us. Anything! The things that take real courage are not what many people think. They see someone defying the odds and achieving something as being courageous. No. Those are just the results of being courageous. That person's courage started long before the daring act took place. Courage is stepping out when others fear to do so. It s having the faith to believe in yourself in spite of the opinions of others and the nagging doubt and fear that fills all of our hearts and minds at times. Being a person of courage and faith starts with being honest about ourselves. This, alone, is a great act of courage. Why? Because being honest with ourselves and others can often be risky and painful. In many people s past, whenever they've been honest and truthful, it caused them pain, so they learn to live a lie. In spite of these fears, however, freedom awaits the person who can act decisively and make a commitment to it. This is what separates the winners from the losers. Remember what the Bible says we are all winners! All we have to do is step out in faith! Our Prayer of Commitment: Almighty God, I thank you that you are in my life. Thank you for making me a champion. Today I step out in courage and faith believing that to be honest before You and others is the pathway to freedom. Help me as I move forward in victory today. In Jesus name, Amen. Our Scripture to Remember Joshua 1:9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go. Our Evaluation of Self Having courage and faith is not the absence of fear. It is a decision to move forward despite fear. Freedom is not attained by the faint of heart. Freedom is not experienced by passivity and surrender. Freedom is the prize for those willing to be courageous - those who step out in faith believing that freedom is a prize worth fighting for. THE REFUGE P.O. Box Columbus, Ohio info@therefugeohio.org

14 #7: How to Develop a Work Ethic, Faithfulness and Stewardship I Thessalonians 4:11-12 Make it your goal to live a quiet life, minding your own business and working with your hands, just as we instructed you before. Then people who are not Christians will respect the way you live, and you will not need to depend on others. When God created Adam and Eve and put them in the garden, He gave them a job. According to Genesis 2:15, they were to tend the garden. Why did God give them a job? Because He knew that in order for human beings to feel good about themselves, they had to have a purpose. They had to feel useful. They had to experience a sense of accomplishment if they were going to live out being created in the image of God. After all, God is an Achiever! In our society, it is entirely possible for people to exist without having a job. Living off the benevolence of family or friends or receiving government handouts, we have created an environment where people are deprived of having purpose, feeling useful and experiencing a sense of accomplishment. In essence, we have kept them from living out of their existence in the image of God. This is exactly what Satan, the enemy of our souls, desires. When people are deprived of the privilege of occupation and stewardship, they are also deprived of experiencing the joy of living in the image of God. This results in a loss of identity and healthy self-image. When this sets into a person s heart and soul, they lose their way in life and find themselves trying to fill the void with other things many of which are selfdestructive. is faithful over all the possessions under his responsibility without owning them. As children of God, we also must understand stewardship. Everything belongs to Him, He just lets us take care of it for awhile. Just like Adam and Eve found joy in being stewards of the Garden of Eden, we will find joy and fulfillment in being a steward for God. Our Prayer of Commitment: Almighty God, I accept my responsibility for being a steward over my possessions, my occupation and my future. Help me understand how to make my job a part of my freedom. In Jesus name, Amen. Our Scripture to Remember Colossians 3:23 & 2 Thessalonians 3:10 - And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men For even when we were with you, this we commanded you, that if any would not work, neither should he eat. Our Evaluation of Self The pathway to our freedom includes developing a work ethic, being faithful to the tasks we are given and learning to steward the material things God gives us. A steward is a person who works for another. The steward THE REFUGE P.O. Box Columbus, Ohio info@therefugeohio.org