AS TO THE LORD February 6, 2011 Crossroads Christian Fellowship, La Paz, Mexico Ephesians 5:22-25

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1 P a g e 1 AS TO THE LORD February 6, 2011 Crossroads Christian Fellowship, La Paz, Mexico Ephesians 5:22-25 This morning I am going to share a theological reflection on a passage from the book of Ephesians that has probably been controversial since the day Paul penned the words. In light of the range of emotions this passage can evoke, I ask that you take a minute and pray this simple prayer: Lord God, I invite your Holy Spirit to teach me this morning. Amen. Let s read the passage from Ephesians 5: Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. When you begin to study a passage of Scripture, one of the first things you must do in order to have integrity with the text, is to study the verses that come before it and after it. No verse ever stands by itself. It is always part of a greater whole. When you take just one verse and try to apply it to a situation that is not in agreement with its context, then you are proof-texting. I m sure many of you have heard sermons or been in a life experience where someone has thrown a verse of Scripture at you that seemed to have no bearing on the situation. That is proof-texting. So, in order to understand Ephesians 5:22-25 we have to be familiar with what Paul was talking about before he wrote these particular words. Since we ve been away from Ephesians for two months, let me remind you of the overall context of Paul s letter that we studied during October & November. Paul s letter was written to Christian believers. He wanted them to be strengthened by the Spirit of Christ (3:16-17) so that they would grow toward maturity (4:11-16). Such maturity comes as they are kind and compassionate to one another (4:32), living a life of love in imitation of God, as modeled in Christ s self-giving, sacrificial servant ministry (5:1-2). Chapters 5 & 6 begin to illustrate how this imitation of Christ is lived out practically in our day-to-day relationships. (Brauch, page 213) Chapter 5 begins with the words Be imitators of God and live a life of love just as Christ loved us. This is the key phrase, the context, for how we are to live in Christian community, and then Paul uses it for the more specific example of marriage. In addition to our context, another important thing to consider when you first look at a passage of Scripture is to ask yourself this: how did this passage flow in the original Hebrew or the original Greek? Ephesians was written in Greek, and understanding Greek sentence structure is critical to his passage. Why?

2 P a g e 2 As I stated earlier Ephesians was a letter that Paul wrote to Christians in Asia Minor. The chapter divisions, verse divisions, and subject headings that we see in our English Bibles were not part of his original letter. They were added to assist us in processing the material in a more orderly fashion. So, while our English versions of the Bible usually section off verses 1-21 of Chapter 5, and then have a subheading of Wives and Husbands starting with verse 22, this is not how the letter flows in Greek. This would be especially apparent with verse 22 because when you read it in Greek is says, Wives, to your husbands, as to the Lord. There is no verb. The verb submit is implied from the sentence before is: Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. But then, in the Greek text, you discover something even more interesting: verse 21 is not a sentence either. It is a participle, a phrase that connects back to an earlier finite verb. In fact, verse 19 & 20 are participles too. To get back to the original verb that all these phrases stem from, you have to start with the end of verse 18 where we find a command that says: Be filled with the Spirit. Now, for all of you who failed sentence diagramming in English class, don t panic. I m going to fill in the blanks for you! Verse 18b, Be filled with the Spirit, is the key verb for all the phrases that follow, that illustrate what being filled with the Spirit looks like. Paul says, if we are filled with the Spirit, then 4 things will happen: 1. We will speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. 2. We will sing and make music in our hearts to the Lord. 3. We will always give thanks to God the Father for everything. 4. We will submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. These are instructions for every Christian. Therefore, mutual submission out of reverence for Christ is an act that each of us is called to do with other believers. Before he even talks about submission and wives, Paul throws submission into the midst of every Christian relationship, whether you re married or not. So, if Paul is going to apply submit to all believers, what does submit mean? A dictionary says this: To yield or surrender oneself to the will or authority of another. Submit is not a word we re comfortable with in the 21 st century. It s not a word the citizens of Ephesus were comfortable with in the 1 st century. The patriarchal norms of the Greco-Roman world had rules and regulations for everyday life and relationships. Submission was a big part of every strata of their society. However, this is where we have to pay attention to the text. Paul doesn t exhort Christians to just submit to one another and leave it there. He adds the phrase, out of reverence for Christ. He is saying that the Holy Spirit empowers Christians to exist in relationship with each other in a radical, culturally transforming way. Jesus gave us the example of the total, free submission of himself as God s suffering

3 P a g e 3 servant, climaxed in his self-giving on the cross. It is this example of self-giving love which is to motivate our mutual self-submission to each other. (Brauch, page 214) This is not the worldly definition of submission, but how Jesus modeled submission. There is a huge difference. And it is after Paul presets this radical self-submission to one another for every Christian, that Paul then transitions to its implications for husbands and wives. So, what have we learned from the context and flow of this passage? 1. Submission is modeled after the example Jesus gave us. 2. Submission is something every Christian is called to practice with other Christians. Paul is not addressing non-believers or our relationship with non-believers. 3. Submission is a reflection of being filled with the Spirit. It is not something we can do in our own power. 4. Submission in reverence to Christ is radical and life-changing. It is not the same submission we so often see in the world. Christ-like submission is a willing consent to allow another Christian person to have authority and influence in my life, believing that this person will honor that consent in a trustworthy and respectful manner. Let s be honest. This is hard stuff. This is difficult to wrap our hearts and minds around because so few of us have ever experienced this type of submission in our lives. Most of us have experienced submission as something hurtful and an abuse of power. But this is not the example of submission that Christ gave us. Jesus never takes away our will or asks us to do something hurtful. He never uses us as objects. Christ gave himself up for us. He takes care of us as he would his own body. (Boundaries, page 161) This is the type of submission that Paul is referring to when he transitions to submission in marriage. When in verse 22, he says Wives, submit to your husbands, as to the Lord. Again, the submission is qualified. As to the Lord. That is the context. Paul also adds another example for clarification in verse 24: As the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands. How does the church submit to Christ? Believers have the choice to give their lives to Christ or not. It is a free choice. We are no longer slaves under the law. Scripture tells that the death of Jesus on the cross replaced law with grace. Wrath, guilt, insecurity, and alienation no longer need to be issues in our relationship with God. The submission wives offer to their husbands, if it is like the church to Christ, is from a place of grace, not law.

4 P a g e 4 It is also important to note that a wife s submission is woven into the fabric of her husband loving her as Christ loved the church. Is the husband s relationship with his wife full of grace and unconditional love as Christ offered to the church? When husbands quote Ephesians 5, they are often doing it out of a place of condemnation. My wife is not doing what I want. She is not submitting to me. And if a wife is incurring wrath or condemnation for not submitting, then I suggest that the husband has missed the whole point of this passage which is about modeling a grace-filled marriage. David will address the role of husbands as outlined in this passage in two weeks. So, let s recap a minute. 1. Mutual submission among all Christians out of reverence for Christ. 2. Wives are submitting to their husbands as to the Lord. 3. Husbands are loving their wives as Christ loved the church. Three radical ideas that Paul throws out on the table. Now, let s look at the one verse we haven t tackled yet, verse 23: For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the Church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Again, it s important to do a word study in the Greek to begin to grasp what Paul meant by the use of the word head in this passage. Head is translated as kephale in Greek. Literally, it means ruler, leader, chief, authority over. So based on this definition, we would read the Ephesians passage as: For the husband is the ruler of the wife as Christ is the ruler of the church. However, this definition raises theological questions. Based on what Paul just emphasized about radical mutual submission, why would he then turn around and seem to negate it with a sentence about authority and power over. Was this really Paul s intent? If we go back to our Greek Dictionary, we learn of another definition for kephale which is its metaphorical definition and means origin, source, starting point, completion. If we choose this definition, then the Ephesians passage would read: For the husband is the origin/source of the wife as Christ is the origin/source of the church. This would then refer back to Genesis where we are told that God took Adam s rib and made woman, thus woman is created from the man. The man became the source of the woman s life. Similarly, when we study other Scripture passages and explore Christ s relationship with the church, his bride. We do not find it expressed in authority language, but in source language. Christ is the

5 P a g e 5 church s savior because he laid down his life for her. Jesus stands in relation to the church not as one who uses his power to control and demand, but rather to invite and serve. (Brauch, page 216) Perhaps you have never even heard that this passage could be interpreted in this manner. And it leaves us with this question: Are we supposed to interpret Paul s words with authority language or source language? I m not going to make that choice for you! The purpose of theological reflection is to wrestle with God s Word in new and fresh ways. To not just read something at face value. To listen to all the options the original text presents. To have grace for differing view points. So I would encourage you to continue to pray and ask God to keep teaching you the truth of what these verses mean. I d like to close by giving some concrete examples of mutual submission in marriage, and more specifically, for wives. Women might be stunned to learn that if men were given the choice between having love or respect, 75% would choose respect over love. The opposite is true for women: we would choose love over respect. Perhaps this is why Scripture tells husbands to love their wives and wives to respect their husbands. Respect is a huge part of Christ-like submission. Remember our definition: Christ-like submission is a willing consent to allow another Christian person to have authority and influence in my life, believing that this person will honor that consent in a trust-worthy and respectful manner. Respect means that I am showing appreciation and esteem for another person. In marriage, this is key. This means, if I am a wife, that I will respect my husband s judgment and abilities. There will be respect in our conversation, especially in public. I will respect my husband in small ways so that he knows my respect carries over to the big issues as well. In the movie The Natural, Robert Redford plays an amazing baseball talent who, after mysteriously leaving his girlfriend and dropping out of sight for years, has finally gotten to the major leagues. After taking the world by storm, he suddenly hits a humiliating slump and starts doubting himself. In this powerful scene, his old flame watches from the stands as he strikes out again and again. When the dispirited Redford comes up for his final time at-bat, to scattered boos from the crowd, she suddenly stands up, alone, in the stands. Somehow, he senses her presence, awakes from his slumber, and slams a home run, reigniting his passion and his game. One man, explaining why he loves that scene, said, She just stood up and supported him. She didn t come down from the stands and tell him what to do or how to fix what was wrong. She didn t tell him how to hold his bat. She just supported him and let him figure it out.

6 P a g e 6 Another man agreed. She stood up and publicly said, I know you can do it. For any man, especially if he is in a season of self-doubt, that is exactly what he needs, to be able to hit a home run in his life. (Feldhahn, page 33-34) So wives, if we listen to this story, we can show respect, show Christ-like submission, by standing up and... not saying one word. Is that hard for you? Not saying anything? I must admit, it is for me sometimes. Some days, I so want to make sure my opinion, my prepared speech, my point of view gets aired. And some days, it is important that it is shared. When David and I are discussing an issue that needs each person s perspective in order to make a choice that is good for both of us. But other days, it needs to be about David, not me... and I still want to make it all about me. Christ is not at the center of my thoughts and actions on those days. And my marriage experiences more law than grace. But it doesn t have to be that way. As one woman said, I fought my urge to defend myself and prayed that God would open my heart to consider the possibility that it was me, not my husband, who needed to change. And of course, I immediately realized that was true. I was frustrated to know that I had behaved this way for 5 years of our marriage. But once I owned it, I also realized that if I had the power to destroy my marriage, I now have the power to change and build it up again! (Feldhahn, page 178) What Paul puts before us in this passage is a challenge. The religious leaders down at the Temple of Diana weren t preaching mutual submission, love, and respect between husbands and wives. This is radical stuff! Men, I d like you to know, that despite all the times your wife might complain about your lack of understanding, despite all the times you ve wondered if she does indeed respect you, a national survey revealed that the top thing women wished their men knew was this: You are my hero. I deeply love and respect you. I appreciate you. I care about your happiness, feelings and well-being. I would trust you with my life. I dearly appreciate your hard work. I feel incredibly lucky to be with you today. These women were saying that you, their average, ordinary guy is their knight in shining armor. (Feldhahn, page 181) Some of you might be saying: I don t know if I can ever experience that kind of marriage. And I think that s why Paul lets it flow out of that command that we talked about at the beginning of this sermon: verse 18b: Be Filled with the Spirit. Unless God s Spirit is filling us, then none of this is even remotely possible. Being filled with the Spirit is not a one-time event, but a daily event. Each morning

7 P a g e 7 we receive a new measure of grace to meet that day. Each morning we have the opportunity again to be an imitator of God, to live a life of love, just as Christ loved us. Living the Christian life, walking the Christian walk, is not a one-time event. It s an every day choice for your entire life. Let s pray. Sources: Shaunti & Jeff Feldhahn. For Men Only. Multhnomah, Shaunti Feldhahn. For Women Only. Multhomah Henry Cloud & John Townsend. Boundaries. Zondervan Pages Manfred Brauch. Hard Sayings of Paul. Intervarsity Pages