Grapple Question: Kids Le arn: Dig Into the Bible: Why Do My Parents Always Say No? God s Direction to Parents: Boundaries=Love

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1 Why Do My Parents Always Say No? Kids Le arn: God s Direction to Parents: Boundaries=Love Exodus 20:1-17; Jeremiah 5:22; Ephesians 6:1-4 How often are you told no? Don t park here; don t exceed this speed; you can t have this job. It s part of life, and none of us likes it. As parents, we often say no. It s our job. Sometimes kids rebel purely because they think we always say no. The preteen years are tough because preteens see older kids doing lots of cool stuff they want to do, too, but can t. Look for ways to say yes. When the answer must be no, look for a way to get your preteen to say it with you. Ask, What kind of parent would say yes/no? or If I were the one asking you for permission to do this, what would you say? or something similar.

2 Why Can t We All Just Get Along? God s Plan For Handling Family Conflict Genesis 4:1-12; Psalm 133; Colossians 3:12-15 None of us is perfect and how quickly our preteens can point that out to us! Kids at this age have a huge need for fairness and are quick to point out when something isn t fair at least in their eyes. And, they re starting to see they can do things more independently; they re testing their abilities. There s no way to avoid conflict, especially with those you live with daily. However, you can try a biblical approach to conflict to help you and your preteen build an understanding and help you both navigate this interesting time in your lives. Read some of the folowing verses with your preteen to open up discussion about conflict in your relationship. Use these verses to talk about ways to deal with conflict in a manner that would please God. Read: Colossians 3:1-2; 1 Peter 3:11; and James 3:13-18.

3 Why Can t I Be an Only Child? God s Plan for Loving Our Siblings Matthew 10:16-22; John 21:15-19; 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 Sharing just doesn t come easily for many preteens. And what preteens sometimes want from their parents is their undivided attention, affection, and resources. As kids mature, they learn that they need to share their parents attention and resources. The only parent capable of giving undivided attention is God. As parents we do our kids a favor when we admit our deep love for them as well as our limitations of time and resources. We can prepare them for the challenges of life by directing them to God, who will always have the time, unconditional love, and wisdom our kids really need no matter where they are or where we are.

4 Why Do I Have to Sit in the Back Seat? God s Call to Sacrifice for Our Siblings Luke 6:37-38; John 15:12-13; Philippians 2:3-11 Why do I have to sit in the back seat? Because it s the law. Kids aren t supposed to sit in the front seat until they weigh 80 pounds. But that s not the point. We all have this need to be number 1, don t we? We ve learned to take numbers at the deli and line up at the box office, but we haven t learned to like it. It s no different in families biblical or not. But God wants us to put others before ourselves. Share a personal story with your preteen about a time you sacrificed for a sibling or close friend. Talk about how that sacrifice affected your relationship. Applaud times when your preteen takes the back seat literally and figuratively and express how proud you are of your preteen.

5 What if Jesus Is a Liar? Jesus Is Always Truthful Numbers 23:19; Mark 10:32-34; John 8:12-18, 44; Acts 5:26-42 This week, your preteen will grapple with What if Jesus is a liar? Although this question may seem irreverent, a lot of kids are wondering about it. If they re afraid to ask, they ll never get help digging into the Bible to find the answer. What s worse, if they truly believe Jesus is a liar, their faith is at risk. We want to encourage kids to ask the tough questions so they get the answers they need to develop their faith. And we want you to be involved. Dig into the Bible alongside your preteen to answer the tough questions. Remember: It s OK to admit you don t have all the answers.

6 What if Jesus Is a Lunatic? Jesus Style of Religion Hosea 6:6; Matthew 9:9-13; 12:1-13 We re all crazy about something a hobby, a sports team, even our kids. Although Jesus is crazy about us, he s not a lunatic. Jesus lived a focused life, never veering from the truth or the purpose he came to fulfill. Grapple with the question with your preteen by looking for things Jesus was crazy about, as well as the evidence that he was not a lunatic. Say how crazy you are about your preteen, and then do something crazy together.

7 What if Jesus Is a Loser? Jesus Is the Biggest Winner John 16:28-33; Colossians 2:13-15 Ever feel like a loser? Join the club it s a pretty universal one! Every one of us has made mistakes. But Jesus did not make mistakes. In fact, only Jesus can truthfully say he s never been a loser. You ll gain some great insights into your preteen s values during a discussion about what your preteen thinks makes a loser and a winner. Share a time or two you felt like a loser. Grapple together about what it s like to be a friend of the world s all-time biggest winner, Jesus.

8 What if Jesus Is Lord? Jesus Is God Psalm 110; Acts 2:34-36 How do you demonstrate to your kids that Jesus is Lord? Believe it or not, they re watching and learning from everything you do. It may not seem like it right now, but when they ve passed their teens (maybe even much sooner), they ll be surprisingly like you. Don t feel guilty feel good! You ve been specially chosen by God to be his representative to your preteen. God knew you were the best one for the job, and what s more, God is very willing to help you out. He is God after all. Don t try to be like anyone else, and don t try to be perfect. Just be you. Look to Jesus, the Lord of your life, for help. Hey, isn t that demonstrating that Jesus is Lord?

9 Why Can t I Go to PG-13 Movies? God s Guidelines for Making Good Movie Choices Romans 12:2; Philippians 4:8 We re so much like computers, aren t we? What we put in determines what comes out, and nothing can come out that hasn t been put in. God allows us to choose what enters our minds, and we show our choices through what comes out of our mouths. Preteens like to make their own choices and see how far they can push the envelope. This is a perfect time to challenge their decision making. Ask them to help determine the parameters for movie viewing. Involve them in open dialogue about why the movie industry provides labels, and then look seriously at what God has to say about what to watch. Kids at this age can make good choices if we give them the correct tools, but they still need your guidance.

10 What Would Jesus Play on His ipod? God s Guidelines for Making Good Music Choices 1 Corinthians 6:12; 10:23; Philippians 4:8; Colossians 3:16-17 What would Jesus play on his ipod? Would he listen only to Christian music? Would it all be jazz, rock n roll, or heavy metal? Bring an empty chair into a conversation with your preteen about music. If Jesus were sitting in that chair, what would he add to the discussion? How would your preteen explain his or her choices to Jesus? If your child has an ipod, go online together to buy a new song for it. What does your preteen look for in music? Which bands are favorites? What types of lyrics do these bands sing? Trade playlists, and explain your choices. Reminisce about songs that were your favorites when you were a preteen. You might be surprised at how much you have in common!

11 Is God a Party Pooper? God Encourages Celebration (Fun!) Leviticus 23:6-8, 23-25, 33-36; Psalms 16:8-11; 21:1-6; Romans 13:13 The Old Testament tells us that God set aside days for celebration, and these days are still celebrated today in the Jewish tradition. The New Testament tells of parties, too. When Matthew became a disciple, Jesus asked him to throw a party so he could meet Matthew s friends. Look in the Bible, and you ll see plenty of parties. Jesus knew when to be very serious. He also knew when to party. So what does this mean for us today? Look for reasons to celebrate. Plan a party with your preteen, and invite Jesus to attend. Jesus wants to be a part of every aspect of our lives including our celebrations. Find out just how much fun a celebration can be when you include Jesus!

12 Can Being a Christian Ever Be Fun? Friendship With Jesus Is Fun John 10:10; 15:15; Philippians 3:4-9 Can you imagine the twinkle in Jesus eye when he walked across the water to the disciples while they were in the boat? Or what about the time Jesus multiplied the bread and fish so everyone could eat. He told great stories and invited kids to sit on his lap. How often do you think Jesus laughed? Too often, our kids see only the serious side of our faith. Laugh at your mistakes, and rejoice in God s sense of humor. Tell a joke or two. You and your preteen will both have fun with this. It s great fun to be a Christian!