The Value of Vulnerability

Transcription

1 The Value of Vulnerability Readings: 2 Corinthians 11: Corinthians 1:17-18 Romans 5:1-10 Introduction: Take the Quiz In my work at the hospital, and even here, I often see people at their most vulnerable, when they are laid bare. The dictionary definition for vulnerability: is the state of being open to injury or capable and susceptible to being wounded or hurt, being open to attack. This sounds like risky business? Why should we make ourselves open to this? How could being like this be valuable for us? What do we usually do if we can... often anything but this? And why? Because we have all been hurt and, often, when we have opened up our hearts and our lives to others. Let s take a Quiz (if you are game) HOW VULNERABLE ARE YOU? 1. Would you rather holiday at the beach or in the mountains? 2. Do you prefer tea or coffee? 3. When was the last time you cried? 4. When you are cold do you prefer to have a warm drink, have a cuddle, or soak in a hot bath? 5. After you have cried do you rush for the sunnies or do you stay exposed? 6. How romantic are you? (Hopeless 7-10, Somewhat 4-6, Why? 1-3) 7. What is your favourite Movie Genre? Romantic? Comedy? Action? Drama? Thriller? 8. Do you kiss with your eyes open or closed? 9. Are you an Introvert or an Extrovert? 10. Are you a risk-taker? Fear of Heights may rule out many!! At the church camp we had our own little risk taker. At our Circus night (which was fabulous, I wish you all could have been there Graeme Walker did a fantastic job. He set up a tight rope for people to try and walk across (not real high) Emma had a go and Charlie Wright raced across but I wish I had a photo of Emma s grandmother sliding down the slide in the jumping castle wearing a skirt, it could have been a little riské but she did it in style. Well how well did you score? I wonder how vulnerable we are as a church? Why do we need to be? What happens when people open or unlock their hearts, they can get hurt or they can get better!!! 1. A Weak Paul When I think of Paul I usually think of a strong man, called and equipped by God to spread the gospel of Christ crucified. But we often see Him as insecure as he pleads with the disciples to recognize him as an apostle and has to constantly be convincing them that he has changed, that they now can trust him despite all his attempts to wipe them out in the early days of his career. In our reading today of Paul s hardships I used to think Paul was just bragging and boasting of all the hard stuff that had happened to Him, a little puffed up with pride because of it all and then parading it before everyone as if to impress them. It didn t endear him to me and it was so unaussie!! In the Hellinistic culture of Paul s time before anyone spoke to a gathering 1

2 they introduced themselves by listing all their credentials, qualifications and achievements. Paul would have been quite used to this and probably relished, previously, in reading out all his achievements as he was a learned and successful man. But here Paul radically turns on its head this custom, knowing full well the impact it would have and lists all his sufferings, all the things he has endured and suffered. He has spent at least 5-6 years of his life in prison, 5 times he received 39 lashes and numerous floggings and stonings, he was shipwrecked 3 times, he s gone without food and been cold and naked. These things are now his credentials and the people would have noticed because no one talked about what they had suffered, those things were kept in the private realm, let alone a learned man like Paul. What was he doing? Why did he do this? He chose to make himself vulnerable, he shared the hard stuff to show how in His weakness Christ would be His strength. He does it again in 2 Corinthians when he talks, again, inappropriately for those times, about his thorn in his flesh and how he had prayed 3 times for God to take it away but the Lord answered Him with these amazing words, words I am sure you know so well. My grace is all you need, for my power is greatest when you are weak. I am most happy, then, to be proud of my weaknesses, in order to feel the protection of Christ's power over me. 10 I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and difficulties for Christ's sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong. How many times have you asked God to do something or to take it away? What has been His answer? Maybe we need to look sometimes at things through the eyes of our God, His ways are not our ways. Paul chose to make Himself vulnerable, He shared the hard stuff, His pain, His sufferings, His weakness, the stuff that was meant to be kept to oneself, in order to reveal Christ. What do you share of yourself and your journey to others to reveal Christ? Is it the victorious stuff? Do you share about a problem or a difficulty only when it has been conquered? How often do you tell your non-christian friends you are struggling? If you don t why not? We don t have to protect Christ or share only His victories for if we did we would not be doing Him justice, we would not be revealing where His power is greatest IN OUR WEAKNESS!!! 2. A Vulnerable God Not only did Paul make Himself vulnerable but so did God Himself. The incarnation continually just blows my mind. God, in Jesus left the realms of Heaven to enter Earth s mess, to become its Saviour. The potentially flawed, precarious plan was to come as a helpless babe, God became helpless, He placed Himself in the care of mankind, dependent on us, we who had betrayed Him right back at the very beginning. God chose to become vulnerable, there is nothing more vulnerable than a baby, he risked failure by trusting us. He trusted humanity with His most precious Son. What a risk, there was no back up plan, with all the potential things that could go wrong for a child in those times God chose still to send Jesus as a baby. Christ was the incarnation of love. We also see Jesus vulnerability when He washes his disciples feet only a few hours before He was to be arrested. He washed their feet, removing his outer garment, leaving nothing between them and himself as to expose his true self completely out of love. He loved all of them, washing their feet even the feet of Peter who was about to deny Him and even more astonishing was that He washed the feet of Judas, Judas who was about to betray Him. That s what s so 2

3 incredible about God. He knows, with absolute certainty, that Judas will betray and reject him, yet he still exposes his heart to him, loves him and allows him to reject him. At Church camp David Wilson challenged us with our give and minister GRACE. Do we give it expecting people to be thankful, appreciative, to change their ways, to come to GOD or do we give it as its name suggests as a gift of grace expecting nothing in return? Jesus gave His love and His grace knowing He would be kicked in the face and sold out. He still gave it selflessly, freely and with all His love. If we review his life of ministry, we see that he also was a tremendously powerful figure. He commanded large crowds with authority and charisma. He silenced even the most astute and learned scholars with wit and wisdom. And of course, he miraculously refashioned creation healing the sick, calming the sea, and raising the dead. The world would agree, Christ was a powerful even at times formidable figure. 1 However, Jesus then showed the completeness of his power the full depth and breadth of his love by dying naked and alone on the cross at the hands of fallen humanity. So many of the beautiful paintings from many of the great Masters see Jesus on the cross with a loin cloth, white, clean with just a little bit of blood. This is so far from the truth. Our God was naked, fully exposed and due to the scourging of the whip being both on his back and his front, He would have been covered in blood from head to foot. He allowed men to beat, mock and kill him. Isaiah 50:6 says I gave my back to those who beat me, my cheeks to those who plucked my beard; My face I did not shield from buffets and spitting. God become the epitome of weakness the complete and utter opposite of the world s power while nailed to a tree. And as we see in the Romans reading He died for us while we were still sinners, us doing the wrong things, living against His ways, this was when He died for us, knowing full well that all those He loved so much were not necessarily going to turn from their ways, were possibly not going to accept the gift of the cross and thank Him for it or come back to Him. But that is the nature of God to give and give and give to not hold back His beautiful, selfless gifts of forgiveness, mercy, love and grace even when He was most vulnerable. 3. A Challenge for Us How many times have you laid bare your heart, shared your story only for it to be used against you? What has this caused you to do? Be careful. Close yourself off. Harden your heart. Not cry. Become strong. Put up the barriers. Not let people in. This is not God s way for us to live. If we believe that being powerful is giving less and less to others, storing up who we are especially our willingness to expose our weaknesses and be vulnerable in order to prevent being manipulated or hurt, then we become less like God. We may be successful in avoiding being hurt, persecuted, or made a fool out of but we sadly won t be partaking in the divine life or adventure God has in store for us. Often our culture categorises vulnerability as a weakness because it gives power to others to accept or reject us. If we are honest about our struggles, shortcomings, or trials a difficult marriage, disappointment with our work, a family member struggling with mental illness, an addiction to drugs or alcohol, a nagging health issue or wayward children as an attempt to form solidarity with others, we risk rejection. Jesus asks us to wield the power that he did the power of a love that burns with vulnerability. He asks us to let others into our lives because that s what he did because that s what love does. When we re vulnerable we hold nothing 1 Chris Hazell, The Vulnerable & Rejected God: Power made perfect in Weakness, October 2015, on-line available from: 3

4 back, we give ourselves out of love offering to those who receive us the opportunity to return that love back to us. 2 Brené Brown a psychologist, and a Christian, who calls herself a Research Storyteller studies human connection looking at vulnerability, courage, shame, belonging and empathy She says, Courage starts with showing up and letting ourselves be seen. 3 Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of light. It takes courage to live with your life as an open book, to really share it. The original definition of courage when it first came into the English language -- is from the Latin word cor, meaning heart -- and the original definition was to tell the story of who you are with your whole heart. Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. Truth and courage aren't always comfortable, but they are never weakness. Albert Einstein says, A ship is always safe at the shore but that is not what a ship is built for. Despite all Paul s shipwrecks. Imagine if he had never set sail. Vulnerability is a bit like those Russian nesting dolls, the ones that get smaller and smaller in size when you twist the top off and pull another one out. In the end, you re left with the tiniest doll, that one small piece. No more layers to take off. Nothing left but a surprise, the surprise of finding out the littlest doll is the most solid of them all. It doesn t hide inside of itself. 4 How do we learn to embrace our vulnerabilities and imperfections so that we can engage in our lives from a place of authenticity and worthiness? How do we cultivate the courage, compassion, and connection that we need to recognize that we are enough that we are worthy of love, belonging, and joy? In her research Brené Brown found a group of people who felt worthy so she wanted to get to the bottom of their secret. She discovered these folks had, very simply, the courage to be imperfect. They had the compassion to be kind to themselves first and then to others, because, as it turns out, we can't practice compassion with other people if we can't treat ourselves kindly. And the last was they had connection, and -- this was the hard part -- as a result of authenticity, they were willing to let go of who they thought they should be, in order to be who they were, which you have to absolutely do for true connection. The other thing that they had in common was this: They fully embraced vulnerability. They believed that what made them vulnerable made them beautiful. They didn't talk about vulnerability being comfortable, nor did they talk about it being excruciating - they just talked about it being necessary. We are wired for connection, it is what God has created us for. The people in her study who felt the most wholehearted and the most connected were willing to be themselves, to share their lives and were willing to be vulnerable. When do you feel most vulnerable? Are we willing to enter into the power that God wants of us one that seeks to love at the risk of everything, even our very lives? Through accepting our total humanity both its glory and weakness we come to experience Christ fully in this life. The world prods us to preemptively bring our glorified selves into the world now through might and worldly power, but as we learn from Christ, the way to glory is by picking up the cross with a heart of humility, vulnerability, and love. We 2 Chris Hazell, The Vulnerable & Rejected God: Power made perfect in Weakness, 3 Brené Brown, Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead, London: Penguin, Hutchinson, Aleric, Living Peace 4

5 show our wounds as to help others see they are not alone in their suffering, even if it results in them stuffing our wounds with salt and spurning us. This is one of the hardest things about our faith. Christianity doesn t guarantee that by living lives of love we will be loved in return by others. If we love more deeply, we will have more fulfilling lives as children of the Father enjoying the pearl of great price but we still may die alone and broken according to the standard of the world. Jesus did. And where Jesus went, we too are called to go. Let s pray for the strength and courage to love as God does, despite our weaknesses and flaws. Try to imagine Jesus on the cross, arms spread out to embrace the entire world, exposing himself completely out of love, holding nothing back not even his own life. If we are able to do that even if only for a moment then we can t help but realize that to be weak and vulnerable to pour our heart out to others is to be like God. 5 God would have given us something greater if he had something greater than himself. (St. John Vianney) Conclusion: Vulnerability = an Accessible Gospel When we suffer in silence, we think that we are alone, different, separate. When we share our stories of suffering, we find that we are the same. (Vironika Tugaleva) We don t have to appear as if we have it all together, either individually or as a Church. Sharing our lives with others, breaking bread together, crying, laughing, pondering together these are the things that make the gospel accessible to others and to a hurting world. If we turn up saying we have the answers to life s stuff through sprucing all our victories, we will turn others off, we will make the gospel out of their reach. But if we sit down and share the hard stuff of life revealing God in the midst of the mess, the miracle of the Incarnation, then we have I believe good news that is accessible, that is believable, that is desirable and that is real. Why don t we live our lives like that? Henri Nouwen writes. As we minister to others and live alongside them we are called to recognise the sufferings of our time in our own heart and make that recognition the starting point of our service...thus nothing can be written about ministry without a deeper understanding of the ways in which we can make our own wounds available as a source of healing, as a source of connection, as a means of grace. This is where the rubber hits the road, this is what I believe the world wants from the Church, friendship with people who are willing to live with vulnerability, with authenticity, with their lives and their hearts open without expecting anything in return. This is risky living maybe this is foolish, maybe this is weak but this mysteriously is where God does His greatest work and reveals His powerful message of unconditional love, of unconditional mercy and of unconditional grace. Will you take the risk? Let s Pray: Oh Lord God, thank you so much that you chose to make yourself vulnerable, that you entrusted yourself again to us in order to fulfil your plan of redemption for our lives. Help us to live like you, by being real, by being vulnerable, by sharing our hearts and our lives before others with authenticity, with grace and mercy, without expecting anything in return. We pray that we will not be afraid to share our pain and our struggles for this Lord is where you promise that your power will be greatest. Amen Ange van der Leeuw 30/10/ Chris Hazell, The Vulnerable & Rejected God: Power made perfect in Weakness, 5