PhD Carols. by Michael Lipschultz. (inspired by and four famous Christmas Carols life as a computer science grad student)

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1 PhD Carols (inspired by and four famous Christmas Carols life as a computer science grad student)

2 Little Grad Student (to the tune of "Little Drummer Boy" by Katherine K. Davis 1 ) 2 Come, they bid me 3, Pa rum pum pum pum A PhD to be, Pa rum pum pum pum The finest minds they call, Pa rum pum pum pum To push the knowledge wall 4, Pa rum pum pum pum, Rum pum pum pum, Rum pum pum pum So to help us all, Pa rum pum pum pum, when I come. An old grad student, Pa rum pum pum pum Smiled and turned to me, Pa rum pum pum pum And he said, "Hey, you," Pa rum pum pum pum "We have free food for you", Pa rum pum pum pum, Rum pum pum pum, Rum pum pum pum "It's downstairs for you, " Pa rum pum pum pum, "So go have fun! " Downstairs I saw, Pa rum pum pum pum Rows and rows of food, Pa rum pum pum pum I was welcomed in, Pa rum pum pum pum To have my fill, Pa rum pum pum pum Rum pum pum pum, Rum pum pum pum I think I'll like, Pa rum pum pum pum Grad student life!

3 All I Want for Christmas is a PhD! (to the tune of "All I Want for Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth" by Donald Yetter Gardner 5 ) All I want for Christmas, is a PhD 6, a PhD, just a PhD! Gee, if I could only have a PhD 7, then I might have a Merry Christmas. It seems so long, since I last said, "I've spent a full eight hours, in my nice warm bed!" Gosh, oh gee, how rested I would be, if I only had, a PhD! All I want for Christmas, is a PhD, a PhD, just a PhD 8! If I could only have a PhD, then I might have a Merry Christmas. It seems as though, I can only say, "I've been so busy since last Christmas Day!" Gosh, oh gee, how rested I would be, if I only had, a PhD!

4 My Life Got Taken Over by a Thesis (to the tune of "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer" written by Randy Brooks 9 ) My life was taken over by a thesis, coming out of my poor, tired brain. They say you can't have too much hard work but as for me and my mind, we proclaim: I've been doing so much hard work, and I just want to take a break. But I forgot about a deadline, <sigh> I just wanna rest for goodness sake! When they found me Monday morning, at my office, in my chair, there were key marks on my forehead 10, and incriminating cream cheese in my hair! My life got taken over by a thesis, coming out of my poor, tired brain, they say there's so much free food, we've got no reason to complain! Now I must go tell my advisor 11, She might not take this very well, see her in there drinking water, I'm so scared I want to yell! Life's not easy in this grad school, all I do is just so late, and I just can't help but wonder, should I give up or (try to) graduate? Graduate! My life got taken over by a thesis, coming out of my poor, tired brain, they say prof'sors do much more hard work so I've got no reason to complain... [citation needed]

5 Then there're all my friends and family, Each year they call me to complain, They ask what kind of doctor, can't heal the sick and mend the lame 12? Life's not the same without our son, All we c'n do is sit and wait, And we just can't help but wonder: Should we ask him to give up or graduate? Graduate! My life's been taken over by a thesis, coming out of my poor, tired brain, No, I cannot cure the sick, But I hope to ease some physics pain 13! My life's been taken over by a thesis, some day I know I'll leave, Some warn a thesis lasts forever 14, but as for me and my mind, we believe 15! 12 and

6 PhD Land (to the tune of "Over the River and Through the Woods" by Lydia Maria Child 16 ) Over the Bach'lors and through the Gre, to PhD land I go! They'll tell me the way, that I need to play 17, So that I am in the know! Over the prelims and through the comps, Oh how the time does go 18! It causes me guilt, and my will does wilt, To see how the time does flow! Over the prelims and through the comps, Today is proposal day, I hope it went well, oh, they're ready to tell They like it, they love it, yay! Over the proposal and through the comps, What happened to the food? What's that I spy? A free food pie? I can keep my happy mood! Over the proposal and through the comps, I hope it's a first rate day, See them collect, it's me they'll inspect, For today is defending day! Over the proposal and through the comps, I passed my oral d'fense, All that's left is my thesis heft, I hope what I write makes sense! Over the proposal and through th' d'fense, I wrote all I care to say, They signed it, they approved it 19, Hurray it's graduation day! and

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