A STONE S THROW. Learning how to cope with human suffering is a lifelong search which many of us do not

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1 Nancy Edwards A STONE S THROW Learning how to cope with human suffering is a lifelong search which many of us do not anticipate as we attend our classes in college and seek a way of building our foundations for creating family life, careers, and service in our communities. In fact, as I sat in the beautiful Friends Church as part of my convocation requirement at Whittier College, I found much to admire as an undergraduate when the students listened to a variety of speakers from all walks of life, some extreme in their beliefs; others traditional. I felt safe in hearing the lovely hymns sung and in listening to the daily prayers before meals. I was especially struck by the teachers, such as my sociology professor, Dr. Charles Browning, who taught the sanctity of the consanguine nuclear family which formed the basis of a harmonious life and social unit. He did predict change would evolve. The peaceful feeling was ephemeral. My own interest in learning about the human condition was certainly fueled by studying literature, but it was truly ignited by extraordinary professors and selected readings at San Jose State University. A third component was the recognition that my social milieu changed drastically as the sixties stamped its mark on every facet of our lives with new behaviors and ways of seeing the world. These are areas which became the foundation for me in developing insight into how people find ways to adapt and even find greatness amid extreme suffering. The foundation certainly is directly related to my academic life, then expanded to life experiences. The philosophy professors at San Jose, Dr. Shapiro and Dr. Fox urged students to form their own views; decide what is meaningful for oneself. Each had a fascinating presentation and assigned a series of self-exploratory papers. Dr. Fox, a young woman professor, always put

2 positive and challenging comments on my papers, so I was encouraged to consider a wide range of readings beyond the course. A prevailing influence during the mid-sixties was existentialism, so we were assigned Albert Camus The Stranger and Jean-Paul Sartre s No Exit. Camus s protagonist, Meursault, possessed no redeeming qualities that were obvious to me at that period and I could never see myself as losing my faith in God. The issues of free will and the ability to make decisions for oneself were essential topics. Themes from both literature and philosophy created a remarkable tapestry with the exploration of fate, free will, superstition, predestination, and luck in such prose writers as Herman Melville, Nathaniel Hawthorne, Thomas Hardy, Joseph Conrad, Theodore Dreiser, Edgar Alan Poe, Stephen Crane, Ford Maddox Ford, Aldous Huxley, E.M. Forester, and more. American writers, such as Ernest Hemingway, explored the sense of meaninglessness which affected a lost generation. William Faulkner and John Steinbeck each struck raw nerves in their portrayals of exploited and impoverished Americans. Where is the sense of justice and fairness, equality then? It was not there, and as the decade of the sixties ended, many people were struggling to make sense, order, peace with the spiritual and social chaos brought about by the truly unbelievable events of the assassinations of President Kennedy, of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., of Robert Kennedy, of thousands of people engaged in the Viet Nam war. To put together one s own philosophy in order to cope with a world of global change and personal change was no easy task. Studying the past helped to provide clarity. I encountered Viktor Frankl s Man s Search for Meaning. Dr. Frankl addresses some issues related to how people coped with horrific, cruel, and inhumane treatment forced upon them in the concentration camps of World War II. A psychiatrist and survivor of the camps himself, he discusses why people cause suffering to others and how some people can survive in the most

3 horrendous conditions in the Nazi prison camps. Even as a victim, he continued to make valuable observations, drawing upon cases he encountered during his time of great suffering. He stated that it was valuable for a person in the camp to have a goal in order to survive the most hopeless situation. One recommendation he makes is to appreciate one s own past translating What you have experienced, no power on earth can take from you. Frankl speaks of our great thoughts, of all each one has suffered, and states that all this is not lost, even though it may be in the past. He speaks of retaining hope and realizing that someone does look down on each person in his or her time of suffering, such as a family member, someone alive or dead, or God. He toldof the concentration camp prisoner s seeing that the sacrifice was for the good of others which provided meaning to the person s profound suffering (Viktor Frankl, Man s Search for Meaning 90-1). If strength can be gained by knowing how people survive in dire circumstances, Frankl s book is forthright and honest. My own focus on broadening my perspective moved into the direction of what one may do to alter his own course of events, as the reality of inhumane treatment of others became personal, as well as placed in historical context. I purchased Harold S. Kushner s book When Bad Things Happen to Good People after it was on the best seller list upon its publication in Friends had spoken highly of the book and it became a must-read after the home invasion murder of my aunt in North Carolina. I hoped for some explanation of why evil or suffering is thrust upon the most beloved and innocent of our world. However unintended, I sought answers calling upon the resources of my academic studies and life experiences, hoping that I could find a sense of peace and understanding. I came to appreciate the fact that others struggled for answers as well. Rabbi Kushner had a wonderful son who was diagnosed at the age of three with a degenerative disease and would live

4 only until the age of fourteen. The rabbi and his wife grieved at each birthday for Aaron while celebrating and rejoicing in his growing maturity and increase in skills. Yet, he was another year closer to the end of his beautiful life and the joy that he gave to his family. Kushner was asked some time later on a book tour If bad things that happen to us are the results of bad luck, and not the will of God, what makes bad luck happen? Kushner replies in the book that this is the philosophical idea which is the key to everything else I am suggesting in this book. Can you accept the idea that some things happen for no reason, that there is randomness in the universe. Some people cannot handle that idea. They look for connections, striving desperately to make sense of all that happens. The belief that randomness can precede tragedy alleviated some suffering and feeling of helplessness in my own case ( Harold S. Kushner. 53-4). Sometimes people fail in their sense of ethical and moral behavior, as in the case of the atrocities inflicted upon the Holocaust victims. Sometimes medicine and science have no way to reach those in need because of a lack of available resources or technology. Kushnerwas faced with no means to save his child; the disease path was unalterable. When one can render comfort or aid, there is, in fact, meaning or joy in the effort and sometimes, the healing process may be enhanced. Isak Dinesen, one of my favorite memoirists, writes of such events in her lyrical prose in the story Barua a Soldani. From her collection Shadows on the Grass, she relates a most moving story sometimes called The King s Letter which she read in person at Harvard during a speaking tour late in her life. I have thought of this story often enough to provide some sense of how comfort may be achieved, even if the manner of comfort is not scientifically proven or the results able to be replicated. Dinesen explains in her memoirs that she and Denys Finch- Hatton and his Kikuyu chauffer, Kanuthia, had occasion to travel into the roads of the Masai Reserve of Africa. They came on a lion and Finch-Hatton handed her his gun and she killed it

5 with one shot into the heart. Dinesen decided that since it was a special lion out of the royal coat of Denmark, she would have the lion skinned and sent to the king of Denmark as a gift of great honor. He replied with a handwritten thank you letter expressing his gratitude. The letter from ing Christian X of Denmark came to be a symbol of comfort and healing for the seriously ill and injured among the Natives. The letter from the king, Barua a Soldani, was placed on the chest of a young boy who had been injured by a falling tree and was in great agony with a badly mangled leg. As in many emergencies, Dinesen was called to render aid to her much beloved fallen workers. She had nothing else to relieve his suffering and promised having the king s letter nearhim would help him. The boy did become calm and was able to be treated and did heal well enough to have only a slight limp, Dinesen writes (414-15). The legend of the king s power of the king was enhanced and its healing power became highly coveted. The letter was only allowed to be used for exceptional cases. She stated that thiswas the wish of the Natives. It could not be used for minor maladies. Dinesen notes that It would do away with pain, (sic.) in this capacity it was infallible, and no ache or pain could hold out against it. But it must be made use of solely in uttermost need ( 415). There are many aspects of what causes human suffering and how various societies can cope with man s inhumanity to man, as well as random suffering and tragedy. Issues of healing continue to inspire and motivate people from numerous cultures and religious beliefs. Whether the healing takes place because of a royal letter, chants in another language, intricate dances, art work, or cleansing, there are countless ways of achieving some measure of comfort or recuperation.

6 The gift of the lion to the king and the king s letter and its power to heal combined with Dinesen s love of nature and Africa and its people and her ability to pass on stories, all leave a magical compilation of artistry which continues to enrich those who follow her. Frankl speaks movingly of the importance of retaining human dignity when suffering: Once I was standing on a railway track in a snowstorm. In spite of the weather, our party had to keep on working. I worked quite hard at mending the track with gravel since that was the only way to keep warm. For only one moment, I paused to get my breath and to lean on my shovel. Unfortunately the guard turned around just then and thought I was loafing. The pain he caused me was not from any insults or any blows. The guard did not think it worth his while to say anything, not even a swear word, to the ragged, emaciated figure standing before him, which probably reminded him only vaguely of a human form. Instead, he playfully picked up a stone and threw it at me. That, to me, seemed the way to attract the attention of a beast, to call a domestic animal back to its job, a creature with which you have so little in common that you do not even punish it (Frankl 36). More than ever, the resources to learn from those who have gone before us are available and easily accessed. The search to find our own answers can begin anywhere and take us from a safe harmonious environment to places one would never want to see. The journey is an active one and sometimes one may feel capsized and drifting. We may find pleasure in researching great writers and thinkers of the world. Some, like Frankl, may prefer to find meaning in his later reflection of his experiences. Others may want the thrill of the moment of the lion charging them, the adrenalin rush of near-death and a last instant save. The plate belongs to each of us and we may fill it again and again, taking what we wish. The electronic age that we live in now

7 allows us all to begin anywhere in our own search for meaning and peace. That, too, is a gift to be treasured.

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