LESSON 1: DIRECT & PROTECT INTRODUCTION DISCUSSION QUESTIONS MOVING FORWARD SCRIPTURE

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1 LESSON 1: DIRECT & PROTECT You rarely notice guardrails until you are in an accident where one saves your life. The damage done by hitting a guardrail is minor when compared to what you would have hit had it not been there. Guardrails. They re good things. 1. Have you ever been in a car accident involving guardrails or medians? 2. What guardrails have you set up in your life? 3. Our culture does not promote guardrails. Culture is content with a painted line. Do you agree or disagree? What are some examples from our culture? 4. Read Ephesians 5:15-17 (see below). Which phrases from those two verses resonate with you the most? 5. In which areas of your life have you been dancing on the yellow line? Listen to your conscience. Pay attention to the Holy Spirit. Where do you need to set up some guardrails? Nobody plans to enter into a violent marriage. Nobody plans to ruin his or her finances. Nobody plans to struggle with an addiction. What steps do you take to make sure these things don t happen? Set up guardrails. You can tell yourself that you ll be careful. Well, setting up guardrails is how you be careful. Be very careful, then, how you live not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord's will is. Ephesians 5:15-17

2 LESSON 2: WHY CAN T WE BE FRIENDS? Friendships are powerful things. They re great, but dangerous. You drop your guard with your friends. You become less careful. And as a result, you re easily influenced, drawn toward the acceptance you find. Because of this vulnerability, it would be smart to develop some guardrails. It s not an easy thing but it might end up saving you from future pain. 1. Apart from your current family members, who are your closest friends? Your amigos? Your posse? 2. Were your parents protective of who you spent time with as a child? As you look back, are you glad they were protective? 3. Read Proverbs 13:20. How has this proverb been demonstrated in your life? 4. While the idea of friendship is a great thing, what type of guardrails do you need to construct in this area of your life? 5. What is one tangible, intentional way you can practice walking with the wise? Do any of these sound familiar when it comes to your friendships? 1. It dawns on you that your core group isn t moving in the direction you want your life to be moving. 2. You catch yourself pretending to be someone other than who you really are. 3. You feel pressure to compromise. 4. You hear yourself saying, I ll go, but I won t participate. 5. You hope the people you care about most don t find out where you ve been or whom you ve been with. Constructing the necessary guardrails in a relationship/friendship is painful. But being intentional about walking with the wise protects you and puts you in a position to help others later on. Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm. Proverbs 13:20

3 LESSON 3: FLEE BABY, FLEE IMPORTANT MESSAGE TO OUR FACILITATORS The lesson this week addresses the important topic of guardrails with regard to sexuality. Andy Stanley presents valuable and wise guardrails for this area of our lives. Adults will not feel uncomfortable with the way he presents this material! However, children ages 5 to 11 are likely to feel uncomfortable, and the discussion time may be hindered if kids are present. Therefore, we recommend that you provide some kind of childcare during the lesson and discussion. Facilitators please make the situation as comfortable as possible we hope that everyone in your group would be able to glean valuable insight because of your efforts to accommodate the children. This is a great lesson! If there is one area in your life that absolutely needs some guardrails, this is probably it. It s the area that is the most difficult to recover from. It s the most needed, yet most resisted area of all. Fortunately, the Bible is pretty clear on how we should approach it: flee. 1. Compared to other bad decisions we make in our lives, why is it so difficult to recover from bad relational/sexual decisions? 2. Read 1 Corinthians 16: What are some of the differences between flirting with sexual immorality and fleeing from sexual immorality? 3. For Christians, what does it mean that our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit? In other words, what does it mean to honor God with our bodies? 4. Why does it make sense to build seemingly extreme guardrails in order to keep you relationally/sexually safe? 5. Whether you are married or single, what are three guardrails you can establish to keep from experiencing a major disaster? Our culture invites us to flirt with sexual immorality. The Bible tells us to flee from sexual immorality. So you ve got to decide flirt or flee? To flee is to honor God with your body. But in order to do that, you need guardrails. So what guardrails will you put up? Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins people commit are outside their bodies, but those who sin sexually sin against their own bodies. Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies. 1 Corinthians 6:18-20

4 LESSON 4: ME AND THE MRS. Do guardrails really work? Let s hear from two people who have been intentional about setting up guardrails in order to protect the health of their relationship and their family. 1. Read Proverbs 27:12. While most people would agree with this wisdom, the challenge is often being able to identify the oncoming danger. What can you do to identify danger? 2. What new guardrail are you planning to build in order to protect your relationships at home? 3. What new guardrail are you planning to build in order to protect your relationships at work? 4. What new guardrail are you planning to build in order to protect your finances? 5. What new guardrail are you planning to build in order to protect the balance between your work and family life? 6. What other guardrails are you considering building as a result of this conversation? Andy and Sandra Stanley shared several of the guardrails they ve built into their lives. Those guardrails may not be models for everyone, but they ve worked for them. Whether you agree with them or not, the bigger lesson is the need to be intentional about setting up guardrails. You ll thank yourself for doing so some day. The prudent see danger and take refuge, but the simple keep going and suffer for it. Proverbs 27:12

5 LESSON 5: THE CONSUMPTION ASSUMPTION Contrary to popular opinion, God does not want something from you, he wants something for you. And nowhere is that more true than with your finances. Then why are we so insistent on separating our faith and our finances? What kinds of guardrails need to go up in order to protect us from financial disaster? 1. Why do you think money and sex are the two most disregarded topics from the Bible? 2. What kind of guardrails do you currently have in place to protect you from greed? 3. Read Matthew 6:24. Do you agree that the biggest competitor for your trust is your stuff? 4. What is the difference between healthy consuming / hoarding and unhealthy consuming / hoarding? 5. Read Matthew 6: What steps will you take to incorporate a lifestyle that practices give, save, live? 6. What could the local church be capable of if giving became a regular practice for everyone? At the end of the day, this is not about dollars and cents; this is about trust. Do you trust God or do you trust your stuff? Putting your trust in your stuff is a reflection of greed and no one wants to consider himself or herself greedy. The remedy? Learn to give, save, and live... in that order. Not only would that protect you from financial disaster... it could change the world. S No one can serve two masters. For you will hate one and love the other; you will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money. Matthew 6:24 So do not worry, saying, What shall we eat? or What shall we drink? or What shall we wear? For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Matthew 6:33

6 LESSON 6: ONCE AND FOR ALL Waiting on the other side of the guardrail is usually something that we want to do. It may be unhealthy. Inappropriate. Addictive. But it makes us wonder, Why would we say no to something we really want to do? So we re drawn to the very edge chastised if we step over but still drawn as close as possible to disaster. What do you do with that tension? 1. Why do you think we are drawn to situations that can ultimately harm us (i.e., financial, relational, professional)? 2. Why is it easier to cross a line of temptation once you ve done it before? 3. What is the best way to curb an appetite? 4. Read Daniel 1. Daniel resolved to maintain his guardrails. How can you keep your guardrails from weakening or moving backwards? 5. Looking back, how has establishing a guardrail saved you from potential disaster? 6. What areas of your life do you need resolve? In other words, what areas of your life do you need to finally surrender? None of this is really new information. We ve known all along that refusing to establish guardrails does not erase the tension of temptation; it only weakens our resolve. We ve known all along that we need to make up our minds... before we know how our stories end. So, at this point, it s pretty simple. Make up your mind. Trust God. Establish guardrails. The integrity of the upright guides them... Proverbs 11:3