Healing With the Masters Teleseminar Volume VI November 18, 2010: Gary Zukav

Transcription

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2 Well, welcome to Healing with the Masters and it is Thursday, November the 18 th. And we are three from the end. Three more calls left. I'm so excited to have both Linda Francis and Gary Zukav on the call tonight. Gary and Linda are married. And we're going to talk again about his book, Spiritual Partnership. It's a wonderful, wonderful book that really takes us deep into an understanding of authentic power; understanding how we can hangout with each other in really new and redefining ways that we can support each other not from our minds but from our hearts. And it's a beautiful, beautiful book. For those that aren t familiar with Gary, he is the author of four consecutive New York Times bestsellers which include The Dancing Wu Li Masters; an Overview of the New Physics, also the Seat of the Soul. And the Seat of the Soul and Dancing Wu Li Masters are spiritual classics from my perspective. They certainly changed my vision of what life is. And it also propelled Gary into a very big, huge hunk in spotlight where he hangout with Oprah among others. And of course, he was on the New York Times bestseller with these books for many years. Just amazing, amazing insights in everything. And now, he's come out with his new Spiritual Partnership which I know he s really excited to share with all us again tonight. And I'm so excited that we're also adding Linda Francis, his beautiful wife to the call because I know that you guys practice this thing together and that's part of the whole motion of partnership. Go figure. There's more than one of us on the planet. And there are other people we get to hangout with. So tonight, we're going to hangout again with Linda and Gary. And thank you both for joining me on the call tonight. What a joy, Jennifer, it's good to be with you and Healing with the Masters circle again. Well, thank you so much. And it's great and it's very good to join you, Jennifer, I'm looking forward to being with you and all of our listeners. Oh, excellent. Thank you, folks. So, let's just go ahead and dive in here and find out what the heck is this spiritual partnership stuff. That spiritual partnership is partnership between equals for the purpose of spiritual growth. Well, that's succinct. A partnership of equals for the purpose of spiritual growth. How do we find that? How do we find those partners?

3 Ah, well, how you find them is by creating authentic power yourself; by you deciding that your spiritual growth is the highest priority that you have. And when that's true, that means you're trying to change yourself rather than trying to change other people. When you do that, people you ll be attracted and people will be attracted to you because you're doing the same thing. Please go ahead; go ahead, Gary. I want to back out a moment because spiritual growth means creating authentic power which means aligning your personality with your soul, which means becoming someone who loves to bring harmony and cooperation and sharing and reverence for life into the human species and into the human experience. But, in order to do that, it's necessary to become familiar with yourself so familiar with yourself that you know every part of your personality that doesn t want to do that like the parts that are angry, jealous, vengeful, it feels superior, inferior, that can't stop smoking or drinking or watching pornography or gambling. And also recognize within yourself every part of your personality that's grateful and patient and appreciative and caring so that you can recognize them as they enter your field of awareness and challenge those that create destructively such as anger and impatience and cultivate those that create constructively when you act on them such as gratitude and appreciation. Now, this is how you create authentic power. The more frequently you challenge a frightened part of your personality that means a part of your personality that's fear-borne the more it begins, eventually, to loose it's grip over you. And eventually, it's control over you disintegrates so you're no longer controlled by your anger or your jealousy or your need to please or your need to dominate. And the more frequently you cultivate a frightened part of your personality by acting on an impulse of gratitude, appreciation No, no. Loving part of the personality. Pardon me. The more frequently you cultivate a loving part of your personality; challenge the fear; cultivate the love. And that is as simple as that. Challenge the fear; cultivate the love. Okay, I think we're done here. That's pretty good stuff. Challenge the fear; cultivate the love. In yourself. In myself. So, you know there's a huge amount of between the two of you. If it's okay, I'd like to kind of dig deeper into a few pieces of it. Change yourself versus changing others that is something I use to do a lot more of. And I still see so many people that are just so hanging on to this notion that if they changed, I can

4 then be happy. And what you're saying is that that's an old form and that there's a new form that's coming to the fore. So, could you maybe takes us a little bit deeper into what is the old form and how can we overcome it? Well, I could say a little bit, Jennifer. I could say a lot actually. Spiritual Partnership I want to say first all, it's not just a couple s dynamic. It's a type of a relationship I have with my friends; I have with people that I work with; with people that are in my family, it's so open, no, not everyone. But I'm just saying, if there are people that are open and I also a spiritual partnership with Gary. However, to get to that place, I'll talk about relationships with partners. Okay. So, my relationships with men in the past have always been we're always, I would be excited to meet someone and it would be just a really great thing. And then, I would feel the things that were wrong with them or I thought were wrong with them. Okay. Or inferior to them. And feel like, I'll never meet up, you know, fit in to what I think that I should be doing with them. So, mostly, I must say, once the excitement was over, what I would do is I would find things that were wrong with them and blame them and in that leaving the relationship to find the next right one. And that worked for you? Yes. It worked really well. But as I changed them all, and then, I realized at one point a very painful relationship that I had, I realized, you know I have been trying to change everyone and finally I met this person who I didn't realize was it really created I had a lot of pain because I thought that I've found a spiritual relationship. And it wasn't, it was my fantasy. Okay. So, going through the pain of that, I realized, oh my goodness, I need to be the one to make a relationship good. So, I started making changes in myself. I started looking out where I was creating in fear. And when I met Gary, I was really ready to have a different kind of relationship because I wasn't looking for the right one. I was looking to have a partner who I could be with and grow with and continue to make my own changes and to co-create with. So, I began the process with him because he wanted that too. He was interested in creating authentic power instead of trying to change me. I was interested in creating

5 authentic power as well instead of pursuing external power. In other words, trying to control and change someone. And so, our relationship began that way immediately because we both wanted that. And I must say, Jennifer, I did read the Dancing Wu Li Masters in I didn't know Gary then. And it created a huge difference in my life because I was so excited about what quantum physicist were understanding about the world. And I knew it was true. And then, when I saw Gary s name on a book in 1989, The Seat of the Soul, I was so excited because I had never read words or talked to anyone that had understood what I knew inside was true. I was very excited about that book. And then, a few years later, I met Gary and it was an amazing meeting because I knew that I was being connected with him on an energetic-spiritual level. And I was so excited and scared to death. I mean, frightened parts of me that felt so inferior to him that I didn't see how I could even talk to him. But I knew that I was being given an opportunity. So, I decided that I would challenge the parts of me that felt inferior to him so that we could actually begin to interact in a way that I've always wanted to. And when I read The Seat of the Soul and Gary talked about spiritual partnership, I knew that's what I wanted even though it scared me. I knew I wanted to be in an honest, real relationship. And so, we began that process immediately when we met. Honest and real is interesting because in my experience, when I ask for something like that, I want honest, real relationship. It also is not necessarily easy, right. It is not easy. Yes. You're talking about doing something with ourselves that is almost antithetical in many ways to how we've in our past. That's right. You're talking about being authentic and then again the qualification here is authentic power is that you're basically changing yourself versus trying to change others which is the old model of external power. Yes. And I'm not saying that I don't have parts of me that want to change Gary and change a part of you. Okay. Thank you for joining the human race.

6 Adonya: Adonya: I absolutely do and what I do, my practice, is to be aware of when those parts of me become active, to notice what they feel like in my body; to notice what my thoughts are; to notice what their intentions are and realize that's a part of me that I do not want to act on. I do not want to speak from that place. I want to change that it in me and it's very difficult. It's very difficult to do that because it's almost magnetically attractive to make someone else long; to judge someone else. And what's kind of easy, it's an easy hook. Yes. It's them. But, I know I don't want to do that. I know my intention is not to do that and sometimes I do that and I catch it later which I'm very fortunate to have Gary as a spiritual partner other people in my life that are my spiritual partners. So, if I'm caught in a part of me that wants to change other people, that is based in fear, I have people in my life, including our grandchildren who will say something. They'll say, Gee, grandma, I think you might have a frightened part of your personality active right now. And it's so cool, you know to have other people and then I do the same for them. You know, it's serious fighting to have a spiritual partner because the spiritual partner is the people in your life who wants to support because they're growing also. Are you there, Jennifer? Yes. Sorry about that. Am I breaking up a bit? Yes. I couldn't quite hear everything that you said. So, beloved I know that we've been in our spiritual partnership for it's been almost 17 years or what was that? It has been about that long. But Jennifer, I want to go to something that you said that this is antithetical to what we've been doing in the past and that trying to change other people is an easy hook. Are you still there? Hi Gary and Linda Francis. This is Adonya, Jennifer s assistant, my apologies. I believe she may be having some technical issues. My sincere apologies. Oh, that's okay. Are we still talking with the rest of the group. Oh, you are talking with a few thousand people right now. So by all means, please continue. Oh, wonderful. Okay, are they hearing out conversation now?

7 Adonya: Adonya: Very much so. We have people joining us online and we also have people listening right now over the phone lines. So, by all means, please continue. Well, thank you. Then, we're all on the same page now. So, we'll continue and hold Jennifer in our hearts while she figures out how to get past this issue. Thank you so much. So, Jennifer was exactly right when she said that spiritual partnership is different from what we've done in the past. And the reason that it's different is because our past is distinctly different from our Hey everyone, I'm so sorry about that. My phone just completely lost its signal. Well, welcome back, Jennifer, we've been Welcome back. I hope, you've been having a nice discussion without me. Oh, we've been having a lovely discussion but we're glad that you're back. So, now that I'm in my panic sweat ball, how would I use this from a spiritual part this moment as a spiritual partner? That's an excellent question and since you've asked for support, we'll assume that you're open to experimenting. So, what are you feeling in your chest? Okay, it's a tad tight. I feel like I've let everyone down. And are you feeling anything else in your chest area? Like you said, a tad tight. Does it feel good or bad or painful? Yes, it doesn t feel so good. Uh-hu, and what are you feeling in your solar plexus? Yes. My solar plexus is definitely activated and I'm feeling a lot of heaviness there. Uh-hu. Does the heaviness feel good or does it not feel good? No. It doesn t feel so good. Yes. And what about in your throat area, besides that? Yes, it's constricted there too. It's pretty much this real big, huge hunk in moment of constriction.

8 Yes. And a little panic and a little upset. And you know, I guess, I'm feeling some anger too at AT&T. Yes. Well, this is a good start. So, first of all you looked at your emotions but in terms of sensations and in this case we started with your chest area and your solar plexus area and your throat area. And you found that there were physical sensations in these three places and none of them felt good. Yes. And then, you shared some of your thoughts angry at AT&T; let people down; frustrated. And there are other thoughts too. Now, these thoughts and these sensations are the experiences of the frightened part of your personality. They're not who you are. They're a part that became activated when your phone line went dead or whatever happened to activate it. Now, most people would think it's the fault of AT&T or the telephone that they entered into such a realm of experience. But it's not. Those experiences have nothing to do with AT&T except that they got triggered or they got activated by something that happened that was unexpected and unwanted. In other words, your emotions, both fearful and loving, originate in dynamics that are inside of you. They don't originate with other people or with circumstances outside of you. Other people and circumstances trigger your internal dynamics. External power is the attempt to change all of the triggers in your life so they don't activate these painful experiences anymore. Authentic power is turning your attention inward, away from the trigger towards what got triggered. And then, changing that with your own volition. That is how you change yourself instead of changing other people. Or trying to change other people. Or, trying to change other people. And it is important to understand because trying to change other people, the pursuit of external power, the attempt to manipulate and to control others are circumstances so that you won't feel the pain that you just described or think the thoughts that that frightened part of your personality was thinking. All of that is now counter productive. Pursuing external power produces only violence and destruction. And new human consciousness is being born. It's not going to be born; it's being born now. So, by me feeling my feelings right in this very moment, it's allowing me to get to know this is language that you're using is the frightened part of my personality. That's right.

9 And so, by getting to know the frightened part of my personality, I can choose a different outcome for myself. That's it. That s it exactly. When you put your attention inward, you create a gap between the impulse and the action. Most people don't know how to do that and so they have the impulse and they become angry. And if they usually become angry and shout, they shout. And if they usually withdraw emotionally, they do that. But you can inject cautiousness into this process and that's what we're talking about. And developing emotional awareness, looking at what you're feeling rather than continuing to mask the pain of it by shouting, drinking, gambling, thinking critical thoughts, feeling superior, feeling inferior. Gossiping with other people; getting agreement. That emotional awareness takes you right down to a face-to-face, nose-to-nose experience with the frightened part of your personality. And that is what you can challenge. And you challenge it by not acting on it and having the courage to feel the pain anyway. Just focusing inward is a challenge to it rather than acting on it. So, simply by me focusing inward on the pain right now, on the upset right now, creates a moment of shift. This likely has something to do with the quantum physics aspects. I mean, this aligns me a little bit with the observer effect in quantum physics. Well, we could talk about that but what I'd like to do is stay with the vocabulary of authentic power which is you focus inward, you are becoming familiar with the frightened part of your personality and that gives you an opportunity to choose. You can choose to do what you've done in the past or you can choose something different. Instead of continuing to blame the telephone or the company or to feel as though you ve let people down, you can continue to be aware of those thoughts that a frightened part of your personality is thinking and aware of the painful physical sensations that come when this frightened part of your personality is active. And while you're doing that, enjoy yourself speaking with me and with all of the people who are with us and with Linda and appreciate the miracle of our being able to talk about substantive, significant, worthy things which is the transformation of your life, with your own will, away from fear and towards love; moment by moment, experience by experience. Yes. I mean, just by feeling the emotions right now, I can feel the difference in my body. I can feel the calming. I can feel the anger releasing. And so, are there layers to this? I mean, it feels like I can probably go a few more layers deeper in my blame of AT&T and right now I'm still struggling with the phone cord now with the hotel phone. And I'm having another layer of anger at this stupid phone cord.

10 Again, so, instead of focusing on the stupid phone cord The thought, those thoughts. The thought or focusing on the cord itself, focus on the pain that you're feeling because the world is not the way you want it to be. Yes, darn it Gary, I want the world to be that the phone cord works and I can talk to you. But, alas, that's not what I'm faced with. So, this is the opportunity for all of us in every moment. Precisely. And it's the frightened part of your personality that is upset about the cord. It's not you, Jennifer. And this is not semantics; you'll see it for yourself as you begin to develop emotional awareness. As you realize, this is a part of your personality. Then, you can also realize that you can change it, you don't have to act on it. It s not part of the unchangeable ground of your being. It's not a dictum from the universe that when you get frustrated, you have to withdraw, blame yourself and get angry. These are all experiences of frightened parts of your personality. And just awareness is not always curative. Awareness gives you the option to make choices like the ones that we're discussing now. And you'll find, sometimes the frightened part of your personality will come and just becoming aware of it won't make it go away. It simply makes you more aware of it and how painful and how persistent and how powerful and how magnetic it is. And while that's happening, you can challenge it by not acting on it. That s creating authentic power. This is really cool. So, it reminds me a little bit of something that I strongly believe in which is vibrational resonance and that the frustration I felt for AT&T and my phone going out when I had full bars is being magnified once again by the phone that I'm using in the hotel now; the cord not working as well. And it feels like I almost attracted it so that we could go deeper. Yes. Oh, yes. You could look at everything in terms of vibration. That's an accurate way of looking at things. But you can put it in very simple terms. When you set the intention to heal, to challenge a frightened part of your personality, the universe responds by giving you opportunities to do that; to experience it and challenge it again. So, in this case, not only did your cell phone not work, now the phone cord isn't working. What will happen next? As you go through your life with that curiosity. See that something always will happen next and that no matter what it is, it serves your spiritual development you, the potential, to choose anew and grow spiritually to align your personality with your soul.

11 Right. And you talk about this in the book quite a bit and I think it's such an important idea, which is that there are no obstacles to get over. It's actually avenues to your growth. So, right now, I'm having a big hunk and avenue to my growth, infront of 30,000 or so people. Indeed. And Jennifer, I'll give you another example. Please. So, last night I got an , yesterday afternoon. And the activated a very strong site in of my personality that I felt in my throat; very strong in my heart, in my solar plexus and my heart. Although, I don't feel it too much in my throat really don't feel it my throat very much anymore but I still feel a strong pain in my chest because of this , because it activated such a strong frightened part of my personality and that has to do with abandonment. And it was such a good thing to feel this in my body; to notice my thoughts because I had a lot of them; and to chose not to act on it. And it doesn t matter how long this pain is here, I am going to choose to create with loving parts of my personality and send love to this person; send love to myself. And it such a freeing of possibility and it's not about getting rid of the pain, it's about actually feeling it and feeling it as long as it decides to be there, it's there. So okay, but I'm still going to choose loving parts of my personality to ask them. That is such an important distinction and thank you so much for sharing it which is it's not going to go away instantly, that when something is up and active from this frightened part of our personality that it may not instantly go away, right. It s just our willingness. And you've got these spiritual partnership guidelines and the first one is commitment. And what you're talking about, I think, is just our continuing commitment to be with it. Yes. And when you said, it doesn t always go away when you feel it, are you still feeling any of the upset that happened when the cell phone went out and then the cord didn't work? Yes. Yes. Exactly. But you are continuing to talk with Linda and with me and to all of our family that's gathered on this call and that is challenging it. It s not simply the show must go on. It is being aware of that frightened part of your personality and how uncomfortable or purely painful it is. And while you're doing that, challenging it, not distracting yourself from it, not ignoring it, not denying it but feeling it. And while you're feeling it, choosing the healthiest choice that you can; creating the most healthy consequences that you can.

12 And this is beautiful what you're doing because you are showing through your courage and through our discussions what creating authentic power looks like in the moment and what else could happen on a gathering called Healing with the Masters. Then, a real time example of what is required to challenge and heal a frightened part of your personality. So, there are 30,000 others that are now seeing that creating authentic power is not an easy thing to do because it requires becoming aware of everything that you're experiencing, everything that you're feeling. And a lot of what we are feeling is painful, that's fear. And until you can experience that and challenge it by not acting on it, it will continue to control you. And as you continue to challenge it again and again and again. So, well wait for the phone to go blank on your end again as you continue to challenge it no matter what happens, it begins to loose it's power over you. In other words, look at it this way. If this happens three times this show for 12 shows in a row, by the 13 th show, you might still feel the frustration, the anger, the judgment, the humiliation or whatever it is that you're feeling. But they d be familiar experiences to you and you'd know that you can the best thing that you can do, the healthiest thing that you can do is not to act on them but to continue. So, the show is helping to teach you; the universe is helping to teach you through the circumstance of the show, what creating authentic power is like. So, for any of you that were feeling that developing mastery in your life is an easy thing or a pleasing thing or an ascending thing or a joyful thing, I'm suggesting something else. Your natural state is blissful and you have come from and will return to a blissful state. But you are in the Earth school now. And your reason for being in the Earth school is to grow spiritually and that requires that you become aware and use your will to create constructively while you are in the Earth school. And that's what we're talking about; that's creating authentic power. Wow! And you know as you were talking earlier about feeling the feelings and ongoing emotions. You know, I'm just going with this now because the universe is obviously providing us a really lovely gift. I was feeling that frustration and upset and anger and it went deeper. It went into a deeper feeling of sadness. And that sadness was surprising. I wasn't expecting there to be sadness. So, it kind of feels like it took me a little bit deeper. And is that your experience of what can happen when you don't try to block it through behaviors like acting out on the anger and so on, that you actually access deeper, deeper emotions. Yes. I actually have had that experience. Yes, absolutely. In fact, I feel the experience that I have when I let myself actually feel is the pain and powerlessness.

13 Ah, powerlessness. You guys talk about this a lot in the book, yes. When you really let yourself feel that feeling, the pain of powerlessness which is underneath all of the frightened parts of the personality, that's what allows you to have freedom because I'm not afraid to feel that. So, allowing that moment to actually feel powerless and the more that you do that, you actually stop feeling powerless. Not necessarily. Okay. You just feel powerless and it's excruciating. For example, the pain of powerlessness powerlessness is the experience of wanting to belong and not belonging; of wanting to be loved and feeling that you're not loveable; of wanting to love and feeling that you're not capable of loving. It's the feeling that you are defective, that you're inherently flawed, that if people could see you the way you really are, they wouldn't want anything to do with you. As you go through what you might call a psychic excavation of what you're feeling, it will bring you to this place, this excruciating place. And in the past, that everything that we could to cover these excruciating feelings by manipulating and changing our environment and the people around us, now our evolution requires us to look inside. And instead, to change the source of these painful experiences within us. That's creating authentic power. I mean, I think you're saying that yes, it's important to feel that. And Jennifer, when I allow myself to feel the depth of the pain that I have, that I've been covering up for so long, what happens is that I end up feeling a sense the trust of the universe and joy. Because I know that I'm being loved all the time. But I have to allow myself to feel that, that depth of pain whenever it comes. And it s so interesting to me that when that happens, I begin to open again to my intuition, to really feel the support that I have. But I have to be willing to feel that, and it s very difficult because that s not something that we are used to doing or thinking about. A lot about spiritual partnership is that I get the opportunity to experiment with my spiritual partners, for instance, Gary. And so last night when I was feeling all this pain, he was able to support me when I was feeling the pain and helped me to see this frightened part of my personality that was so strong and that held all these thoughts. Because it was a very deep one, and I can still feel it. I'm very aware of it and I will not act from it. I know what my purpose is. My purpose is to create authentic power and my purpose is to support others who are interested and support in creating authentic power and teaching about

14 spiritual partnership. That s why I'm here. And so I do that whether there's pain or no pain. I'm curious, how did Gary support you and how do our spiritual partners now and how do we as spiritual partners in turn support others? I know it s a different interaction and you talk about this in your book too. It s a different interaction now between two people. So how did Gary support you in your moment of dealing with the frightened part of your personality? He just asked me what I was feeling, and he asked me what the thoughts were, what thoughts I was having and then he asked me if I was willing to challenge that frightened part of my personality that was strong in that moment. And so then I had needed to make a choice because it was very strong. I needed to make a choice, and it was very compelling to stay in this frightened part and feel that I had been abandoned or I would be or I was incompetent. I mean I had so many thoughts. The interesting thing is that I could feel myself, the magnetic attraction of this part of me that wanted to be right about the way I was feeling, about the way it was feeling and I had a choice. And so I kept working toward making this choice and he kept asking me, do you want to challenge this? I wasn t sure at first. And then I just said, yes, I do want to challenge this. And I did what I needed to do and I kept challenging. And I would have done it by myself but it s so supportive to have a spiritual partner. He didn t want to change me. He wasn t trying to change me. He was just trying to help me be aware because I was so caught in that frightened part of my personality at that moment. And he wasn t giving you advice or trying to fix you or trying to fix it? No, not at all. He was just opening me to the possibility. He was asking me where I was feeling it and what thoughts it was having and just being aware that this is the frightened part of your personality. There's a possibility this is the frightened part of your personality. And of course I knew it was because I wouldn t be feeling that way with the loving parts of my personality. And then it was the choice about whether I was going to challenge it or not. And I also didn t try to make Linda feel better. Oh wow, that s key. Okay. That s important. I said I know how disappointed you are. All of that must hurt. Don t worry, things will get better. All of that is beside the point. The point is that a frightened part of Linda s personality was active. I love Linda and I want to support her because I know she s committed to creating an authentically powerful life. So instead of sympathizing, empathizing, condoling, caretaking, all of my focus was, because she was open to it, helping her see that this is the frightened of her personality.

15 Not see it intellectually but feel it, see its thoughts, see its intention and then challenge it by not acting on it even though it was so powerful and so strongly attractive to her to stay in that place of pain, severe pain. And she did. But only she could challenge it. I couldn t do anything about it. So what does challenging it look like? It means not acting on it. So challenging means not acting on our kind of almost instinctual way of acting. I wouldn t say instinctual. I would say habitual. Habitual. Ah, that s good. Familiar and habitual. Okay. Because we re used to acting from the frightened parts of our personality. I could have called someone and said, Oh, this happened; oh, this is just so awful. I wouldn t do that though. That s not something that I do anymore. I will challenge this frightened part. It is something that many people who don t know about creating authentic power and spiritual partnership will do in an attempt to ease the pain. But the pain doesn t come from the other person. The pain comes from a frightened part of your personality, a dynamic that is internal to you. Well, my saga continues here. It s interesting because as I started to really accept the emotions that I was feeling, the cord started working again. Now in the last 10 minutes, I have someone outside my door that is continuing to clear his throat at the top of his lungs. And then I started getting triggered by that and then the cord went out again. Oh my goodness gracious. So I'm getting a beautiful lesson in challenging it by not reacting, by not acting out on my anger. And you know what, I have to tell you, once I get off this beautiful call, it is going to be my greatest honor to continue to challenge what is happening on this great call. Now you re cooking with gas. That s it exactly. Creating authentic power, your own spiritual development, spiritual partnership these are not things that you can compartmentalize. Just do on the show. Just do at an event. Just do when you re with certain people. To create authentic power is to use every experience in your life to recognize when a frightened part of your personality is active and challenge it by not acting on it, choosing the healthiest action or words that you

16 can, cultivating a loving part of your personality by acting on it, by knowing that it s real your gratitude, your appreciation. And when you do this, there's no experience you can have that doesn t serve your spiritual growth. That s not something you create with your realization. That s something that is in you, and you are developing the awareness of it. In other words, as you create authentic power, you enter your life consciously with an open heart and no wind can blow that does not fill your sail. No matter what that wind is. That s right. So every wind now becomes an opportunity. Every challenge now becomes an opportunity. And is that what you mean that there's value in everything that s showing up, that there's value in these moments of triggering? Yes. Exactly. Yes. When Linda said she feels pain, she has the courage and the skill I use those words to describe her to feel the pain of a frightened part of her personality without masking it by shouting or becoming enraged or withdrawing. And she knows that the universe loves her. She doesn t know it because she s hurting so much. Pain is pain. But pain for a worthy reason is suffering. She knows that she is experiencing these painful sensations and critical thoughts and becoming aware of them because the universe is directing her attention to what needs to be healed in her, by her, in order for her to move into her full potential. And that is an eyes open experience of the wisdom and compassion of the universe. Most people think the universe is wise and compassionate if it will keep them from hurting. The universe is wise and compassionate, and when you hurt, that is the distance between the wisdom and compassion of the universe and your own. Pain for a worthy reason is suffering? That s right. In other words, the pain that you experienced twice now or three times now when you count the fellow who was clearing his throat, that pain, if you're not aware of why you have it, if you do your best to cover it over, if after the show which I know you won t do from our talks together, but if you had gone out and spoken harshly to him in order to mask that pain, that is merely pain. But by challenging it, you are turning that pain into suffering. You know there's a reason for it and the reason for it is your spiritual growth. Because as you develop the awareness, the emotional awareness and the skill, the ability to

17 choose responsibly and not act on it, you are diminishing the control of that frightened part of your personality over you. So what happens over time as we do this, as we install this in our life now as a practice, that we use the moments of upset as a chance to feel the sensations in our body and challenge them as you say by not reacting in a habitual way anymore by blaming others and being in our authentic power? What happens to our lives over time? I mean you guys are a nice experiment in this. Yes. Well, over time, first of all, the frightened parts of the personality, specific ones lose their power. I ll give you an example. When I met Gary, I had frightened parts of my personality that felt very jealous all of my life, especially when I was with a man. I was afraid he might get interested in another woman so I would try to direct his attention away from other women like when I was at a gathering or something like that. And so when I met Gary and we became spiritual partners, of course that frightened part was not gone because I had not challenged it before. I had not healed it. I ve been indulging it. Not indulging it; I would say I ve been unconsciously acting on it. So I began to notice it and I began to feel where it was in my body and notice its spot and really see it as a frightened part of my personality rather than who I am. I'm just a jealous person because those were the thoughts that I had before but Um, that was your belief. That s not true. This is a frightened part of my personality. So every time it would come up, I would notice it. I would notice its spots and I would decide, I'm not going to act on this again. I'm not going to push my partner away, make him wrong, have horrible thoughts about another woman or another person on the planet. You know what I mean? It s like I really began to challenge it and feel where it was. And as I began to do that, I can tell you now after years of practicing that it probably took me a few years. If I ever noticed it, it s so little. It s like a blip. Oh, there you are again. I'm not going to act on you. Ah-hah. It s almost like a smile. All right. Okay, I know who you are. And that s that part of your personality and that s what you ve both been referencing which is it s not me, it s just a part of my personality. Part of my personality that I came here to challenge, that I came here to heal. I don t want that controlling my life. I don t want any frightened parts to control my life. I don t want anything to control my life. It has to be loving. That s where I want to put my focus, on choosing love all the time. I don t mean it in a mushy

18 way. I'm saying integrity. To say that the most important thing that I can say, the clearest thing that I can say and it may be something that might even trigger someone else, but I'm going to say it because I know it s what I need to say because it s in my integrity and it needs to be said. Of course I always look for right timing and if it s appropriate timing and the appropriate thing to say because I always follow my intuition as best that I can, the best way that I can. I had a question that you ve kind of led into a little bit, which is, do we do our own work first before we talk to those that upset us? So it starts with the trigger. Let s say someone said something to me that was unkind and I am triggered. I'm angry, upset, kind of what happened with the with you. And so instead of us lashing out, we are now challenging it and not lashing out in a habitual way. But is there space for us to have a communication with that person about what happened? Well, you always have to look at your intention. Great. Thank you. Exactly. Linda went straight to the heart of it. There's always space to communicate with someone else. The question is, why are you doing it? Does your intention come from fear, for example, to prove the other person wrong, blame, to judge, to make yourself right? Or is your intention from love to support, to appreciate, gratitude, not flattery? Because it s your choice of intention that creates your consequences. Choice of intention is the fundamental creative act. We talked a little bit about this on the last show. There's so much we can talk about, but I want to stay with spiritual partnership. And you can communicate with the person you're with and it s an experiment. You don t have to have your life perfect. You don t have to be authentically empowered and a perfect spiritual partner before you can experiment with creating authentic power and spiritual partnership. But you can choose your intention and do the best that you can to have an intention that comes from love, an intention to create healthy and constructive consequences. So, Jennifer, what I would recommend for our listeners is to experiment in their life, deepening their relationships with other people. For instance, you could do something like I ve done before which is to ask someone who maybe is a friend who you feel you d like to be closer with but you know that sometimes you don t say everything you really want to say to them and you know that they probably don t do the same for you. You can ask them. I'm doing an experiment in my life and I'm trying to learn about myself. I'm trying to learn about the things that I create when I create things that I don t really want to create anymore and sometimes I don t see them and I bet you do. Of course if you do this, you have to be ready for what to say. But if you really are serious, you can begin to start a

19 dialog with someone and you can use the spiritual partnership guidelines in Gary s book. You could read the book before you begin to do this so that you can really get a sense of what it means to be a spiritual partner and begin to practice with people that you feel comfortable with, that you would want to deepen your relationship with. I mean that s how you can begin. We re always working on things, Jennifer, to help people on our website which I know you ll let people know that it s at seatofthesoul.com. But we re always working on that to support people, to be able to practice. For instance, we ve been working on this online course to support people so that they can really begin to know what it means to be in spiritual partnership with people in their life and it s taken us a long time because we really were looking at how can we put the most quality into this so that we can really help people in an online way. Gary and I love doing events. That s why we do our authentic power program and that s why we do or five-day event because we d like to go very deep with people and have the practice with each other. Because practicing spiritual partnership with each other, with people who also want to create authentic power is really important. And so, on our online course, which is something that we don t have ready yet. We don t know exactly when it will be ready, but we really have been working on it to create it, to be something that can help people. If they go to our website and decide to purchase this, they can be supported in really practicing with people in their lives, to be in spiritual partnership if you read the book. Yes, and I think something that s interesting is the language you re using which is practicing. And I ve heard Gary and you both talk about this before which is our lives are a grand experiment. And some of the things that you ve been sharing here I think give us the chance to have a breath. First of all, that life is an experiment and there's always a chance that we re going to blow up the workshop, right? Because that s what an experiment is. And secondly, I think that life is here for us, that the universe is supporting us through some of these challenging experiences. Would you say that s true? All of them. And life is an experiment but it s for you to make it an experiment, not other people. Most people do not look at their lives as an experiment. They look at it as an experience. Uh-huh. Things happen to me. Things happen to me. Yes. As you create authentic power, you transform yourself from an experiencer of life to an experimenter of life. That s the same thing as the shift from a victim to a

20 creator. It doesn t happen to you done by other people. But you are the creator of your own experiences. And you experiment with that and you create your own experiences with your choice of intention before you act and before you speak. And you will find out for yourself that as you choose intentions that come from love, you will create healthy, constructive, good-feeling, blissful consequences. And as you choose unconsciously or not the intentions that come from fear, you will create painful, destructive, terrible-feeling consequences. And you will begin to see more and more that it s your choice. Every religion around the world will tell you that if you look at it. That s the great doctrine of karma, the impersonal dynamic of the universe that doesn t punish and reward. It continually brings to your attention the effects that you are causing with your choices so that you can make different choices, create different effects with different causes. I have a question here from Pat, and this is from something you said a little earlier but, Are you saying that we can t have spiritual growth without suffering? You could look at it that way. But what I want to say as clearly as I can is that you cannot have spiritual growth without emotional awareness, awareness of what is happening inside of you. You cannot have spiritual growth without using your will, without volition. And as you become aware of everything that you are feeling, you become aware of everything that you re feeling and much of that is painful. Until it s not. Until it s like what Linda was describing as, now, it s a bit of a giggle. Yes, until you recognize the part that s painful as directing your attention to those parts of your personality that you need to challenge and change in order to create the life that is calling to you, a life in which you can give the gifts that you were born to give, a life of meaning and fulfillment, a life of more joy and less pain, more love and less fear. That s what you're going to create. That s beautiful. And for me, it feels like when we have this strong intention now to come from love, to come from spiritual partnership, to come from authentic power, that suffering is something that is a piece of the past, not the past to spiritual consciousness and spiritual growth. It s when we bring our awareness to what you're saying is parts of our personality that are frightening. Suffering can be a consequence of that but it s a short-term consequence. Is that true? It depends on your choices. You could continue to react in anger every time something stimulates that part of your personality and your entire life will be lived in anger and resentment and loneliness and frustration and anger. If you choose to challenge it, then you begin to walk on a different path, a path that takes you

21 toward wholeness, a path that takes you into the domain of a creator who is responsible for what she is creating. Well, I have to give you a little update here. The clearing throat guy is gone and the cord is working seamlessly now for no reason. Well, I guess there are lots of reasons probably because of a vibrational resonance. Maybe? Perhaps? You think? I think there isn t anything else. So it s a matter of choosing what your vibration will be so that you're not affected by the vibrations of others. And, by the way, you always are. You re always feeling the fear of the collective, the fear of those around you. The question is, what will you do? If you feel it, it s in you and therefore it s your responsibility to challenge it and not to act on it. It s your responsibility to be a source of love, of higher frequency vibration that will support others rather than being an energy drain on them. It s your choice. The frightened parts of your personality will always choose to take, to exploit, to be a victim, to be an experiencer. The loving parts of your personality naturally, joyfully create, care, live in bliss and invite you to live there with them. It s your choice. And so is this part of I'm kind of curious now just what you both think about why we re here on the planet. Why do we have these frightened parts of our personalities? Why are they even there? I ll say that I am not a metaphysical person as much as it sounds. I sound like that sometimes, but I'm a practical person. The reality is they are there. The Buddha said there is suffering. That s the first noble truth. He didn t say here s why. He said there is suffering, and he said there s a cause for that it s desire. And he said you don t have to keep causing it. You can turn your attention to the parts of you that are desiring and then he gave a way to do that that was appropriate for five-sensory humans. We are no longer five-sensory humans. We are becoming multi-sensory humans. We are beginning to see more accurately the larger tapestry of life of which we are a part. We re beginning to see our own significant creative capacities and the extent to which we re responsible for how we use them. We are beginning to see that we have a meaning and a purpose and that in order to fill that purpose, which is literally fulfillment, we need to challenge the parts of our personality that are creating pain for us and others. Anger, jealousy, despair, rage all of those as we act on them, masking the pain of powerlessness. And instead, to look inside, to heal what is within us to heal, to cultivate what is within us to cultivate and to enjoy what we are creating. Our evolution now requires that of us. Is that wonderful or not?