ACT TO TAKE CARE OF YOUR OWN WELLBEING

Transcription

1 ACT TO TAKE CARE OF YOUR OWN WELLBEING Dipl.-Psych. Beate Ebert, Germany ACBS Worldcongress 2011, July 13th - 15th Parma, Italy

2 WE USE ACT TO HELP OUR CLIENTS - COULD WE USE ACT TO STAY HEALTHY, INSPIRED AND POWERFUL AT OUR WORKPLACES? This workshop will be an investigation about this question. 1. How can you use the 6 components of the Hexaflex to work with them on your flexibility regarding your well-being? 2. What is your own pitfall when stepping over your boundaries concerning your well-being? 3. What structure have you set up in the workshop to stay healthy, powerful and inspired in your work as a therapist.

3 OUR PRIVILEGE AS THERAPISTS As therapists, we have to deal with deep human suffering every day. As therapists we also have the privilege to be conscious about taking care of ourselves. Otherwise we are noncredible. And sometimes our mechanisms go into a contrary direction....

4 HOW THIS LOOKS LIKE Late hours in the office until p.m. or later Waking up early in the morning, ruminating Weekends look like workdays, nothing to look forward to Even holidays are a good time to do, what have to do and you never succeeded to do it before Friends do not call any more, you have no time anyway No time for intimate relationship, too exhausted to have sex Family is concerned about your wellbeing There is no joy, to go to work You get sleepy in your sessions

5 WHY ARE YOU HERE? I am interested and I invite you to share what called you to this workshop? What are your experiences in taking care of your wellbeing? Do you see barriers in this capacity?

6 TRANSFORMATION IN PSYCHOTHERAPY Taking care of our wellbeing as psychotherapists is one part of the transformation I see possible and necessary in our professional field. Transformation according to the dictionary is a shift. It is not linear, not foreseeable, it is associated with a new freedom, bigger space, new paradigm, new realm of possibility. Transformation allows acceleration of processes and unexpected results. Transformation is a paradigm you can apply to every area. So today we apply it to our own wellbeing.

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8 A metaphor: the caterpillar transforms into a butterfly

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10 WE CAN ONLY SHIFT SOMETHING OUTSIDE THE BEHAVIOR WE WANT TO CHANGE - WE CAN CHANGE THE ENVIRONMENT OR THE LEARNING HISTORY What is my learning history? What is the environment I am living in, concerning my wellbeing?

11 WHAT I LEARNED useful good hard working

12 WHAT I LEARNED Jesus good suffering

13 THE CONTEXT I SEE Successful people work a lot and do not have much free time (except some very extraordinary successful people I will never belong to) There is not enough time every day to do what you want - you will never get it done Life speed is rising, changes are happening quicker and quicker We have an exponential rate of growing knowledge - and you should be informed You shold become better - it is never enough

14 ANYTHING YOU CAN SEE ABOUT THE CONTEXT YOU ARE LIVING IN?

15 SHIFT IN MY POINT OF VIEW When I started my Sierra Leone project and went to Africa, I experienced that people in the country were so happy that I came. They did not know what a psychologist was, they just were happy that somebody cared about them and listened to them. I experienced that I am precious for others, and started to see myself as precious. Without doing something special, just by giving my awareness.

16 SHIFT IN MY PERSONAL CONTEXT Old context: BE PERFECT do sports to be in shape work to be good have sex to have a good marriage New context: BE PRECIOUS take care of myself

17 THE FLOWERFLEX I choose to be responsible I no longer give power to I am willing to see and feel Care for myself I am anyway Value my Self Kind actions

18 I STARTED TO BE WILLING TO SEE AND FEEL How exhausted I was How I was longing for free time, for fun, for ease How jealous I was of friends who had all this time to meet and celebrate That I started to feel depressed when I had nothing to do - I avoided this uncomfortable feeling of emptiness when there was no hurry That I was addicted to strain, to these feelings of excitement and accomplishment How I dominated others with my bad moods - especially my husband - when I did not take care of my needs

19 ANYTHING YOU ARE WILLING TO SEE AND FEEL?

20 THE FLOWERFLEX I choose to be responsible I no longer give power to I am willing to see and feel Care for myself I am anyway Value my Self Kind actions

21 ALL THIS FUSION Freedom = Doing what I want instead of scheduling my day Independence = Doing it alone Satisfaction = Being better than others Fulfilling = Being a good, hard working person Control = To compare myself to other therapists

22 OBSTACLES IN MY MIND People in my environment are not as happy, I have no right to have a great life. People in Sierra Leone live much worse. I have no right to have a better life. My husband is more stressed than I am. I have no right to relax. I will be punished when my life is too good.

23 AUTOMATIC WILLINGNESS to feel bad and guilty to manipulate others to be hurt

24 WHAT IS THE FUNCTION? To be right that I don t get what I want and that I am alone in the end - to keep myself seperate To reinforce/justify my concept of my identity To justify my domination of others To give the responsibility to others

25 THE COST IS HIGH Being tense and tired Being separate becomes more real Life is hard, no fun More of those uncomfortable emotions

26 ANYTHING YOU CAN SEE ABOUT YOUR FUSION OR THIS KIND OF AUTOMATIC WILLINGNESS?

27 THE FLOWERFLEX I choose to be compassionate I no longer give power to I am willing to see and feel Care for myself I am anyway Value my Self Kind actions

28 THE HELPFUL WEAK POINTS Falling asleep wherever I am Loosing my voice Bad moods

29 WHAT ARE YOUR HELPFUL WEAK POINTS?

30 THE FLOWERFLEX I choose to be responsible I no longer give power to I am willing to see and feel Care for myself I am anyway Value my Self Kind actions

31 THE MOST HELPFUL KIND ACTIONS FOR ME Giving up to be right - as an ongoing exercise. As I am the most rightous person, this gave me the biggest relaxation. It does not have to go the way I think. This is relieving. Listening to myself and others. What do I really want and what do they really want. We know very well.

32 MORE KIND ACTIONS Telling others about my intention to take care of my wellbeing. (My friend: "I hear you coming home late all week. Didn t you want to come home earlier.") Scheduling my week! Give up that I can stuff every new project somewhere in between my official working hours. Reduce my working hours and structure time better (f. ex. one morning for my Sierra Leone work, one afternoon for my reports). Taking every Monday morning off, together with my husband. Meditating every day.

33 MORE KIND ACTIONS Ask myself the question: "What do I need for my wellbeing now?" Respecting my wishes and needs. Sometimes they seem stupid to me but in the end it mostly makes sense. Asking my husband for what I need, instead of being upset that he does not give it to me ("Could you please ask me how I am and then listen really interested?"). No longer throwing emotions on other people. Declaring that it is a human birthright to be relaxed and happy.

34 WHAT ARE THE KIND ACTIONS YOU SEE FOR YOURSELF?

35 THE FLOWERFLEX I choose to be responsible I no longer give power to I am willing to see and feel Care for myself I am anyway Value my Self Kind actions

36 I AM ANYWAY Life itself is so valuable, with all those experiences, nice or uncomfortable, all worth living them fully, being free to express, doing what really matters, experiencing our natural relatedness.

37 YOUR VALUES AND AN ACTION YOU ARE READY TO TAKE ON

38 Have a happy holiday time