Our Bodies? Our Selves? Susan McConnell

Transcription

1 Our Bodies? Our Selves? Susan McConnell Exiling the body is a recent phenomenon. In the surviving ancient healing traditions, meditation practices, and martial arts, mind, body, and spirit were once seen as unified. For several centuries the body was considered an alchemical container for the soul. In fact, the word body originates from the Anglo-Saxon root word bottich which meant fermentation at. Early Christian theologians drove a wedge in that unity with their view of the flesh as dangerous. Later, as the field of medicine evolved in the West, René Descartes, in order to get the cadavers needed for dissection, made a turf deal with the Pope that further exiled the body from the realms of soul, mind, and emotions. The body came to be regarded more as corpus (from the Latin) which refers to a dead thing that can be analyzed, and was considered less holy than the mental and spiritual realms. Medical science has advanced tremendously as a result, but at the cost of maintaining this illusion of separation and exiling the Self of the body. As the field of Psychology emerged within this cultural paradigm it subscribed to the scientific notion of reducing the body to corpus, exiling the fermenting vat notion, and separating mind from body and spirit. Psychology as an institution has contributed to maintaining this dissociation. Science in this post-modern age, jump-started by Einstein s theories of relativity, is experiencing a shift in its view of the body, aligning itself with the vast body of enduring folk wisdom. Recent scientific research, such as Candace Pert s discovery of the opiate receptors, has provided evidence of the biochemical basis for the unity of mind, body and spirit and demonstrated their essential unity. The field of psychology reflects this changing paradigm. Since the seminal beginnings of the work of Wilhelm Reich, the field of Somatic Psychology has become diverse and rich, integrating many related disciplines. Somatic is from the Greek word for body, soma, which refers to one s internalized, subjective experience of ones body. Hakomi, Biosynthesis, and Rubenfeld Synergy are among the many somatic psychotherapies to build on Reich and Lowen s work. Although not primarily a somatic psycho-therapeutic model, Internal Family Systems includes body awareness in its method. IFS evolved from listening to clients in tapping into the common body of wisdom revealed to us through the Selves of our clients. Many of our clients want a healing method that recognizes the inherent unity of their mind and body. In recent years, IFS has been influenced by Ron Kurtz and Hakomi therapy to locate parts in the body as a way to anchor the client s focus on the target part, and to find where the burdens are stored in the body. There is growing interest in discovering more ways to restore the appropriate relationship of the physical body within both the internal and external systems. We in IFS invite the body from its exiled state as corpus to soma: a living, breathing, transformative entity. But we must work with the body as carefully as with any exile, assessing if the external reality is truly safe enough to permit a return to embodiment. Shepherding our clients through this profound personal journey, we must work with our own parts and those of the client to prepare a welcoming environment. Somatic aspects of all parts must be recognized and accommodated. 1

2 EXPERIENCING PARTS IN THE BODY Somatic experience is a great parts detector. Usually my body is my best clue that I am no longer in my Self. My mind can be quite righteously convincing until I notice a tightness in my stomach, chest, or jaw. As I tune in to notice these sensations, especially if I can manage to do that without judgment, the mere act of witnessing results in a greater degree of Self energy. Often the part will spontaneously unburden and the sensation will dissipate. Or the feelings, beliefs, and story of the part will emerge along with its somatic components. Parts can be experienced somatically as tension, blocks, pressure, holding, trembling, numbing, weakness, and temperature changes. They have infinitely creative ways to use different systems of the body muscular, nervous, digestive, etc. to do their jobs. Parts may use physical symptoms or illnesses to attempt to communicate a message, to distract, or to block some other part or activity. Manager parts, needing to contain, suppress, hold and control, tend to use the muscles and fascia. They can be found anywhere in the body, but can more easily manage the energies at the obvious demarcation places any of the joints, pelvic and respiratory diaphragms, throat and jaw, shoulders, and lower back. Firefighter parts tend to activate the endocrine and nervous system towards fight and flight resulting in an increase in heart and breath rate, pupils dilating, and a release of the stress hormones. Firefighters may try to distract us from body awareness or they may use the natural bodily impulses (for sex or food) to suppress perceived dangerous emergence of exiles. Exiles can be found in any part of the body and in any system, but in my experience, they tend to hide out in or around the heart, gut, and back. Any of the parts, of course, can dominate the entire physical body [for awhile], showing up in the posture, voice, gestures, and all the systems of the body. Parts may have distinct bodies, with different voices, gestures, and even separate physical symptoms and patterns. A client came to me recently, referred by his doctor, with chest pains unrelated to any medical condition. After hearing some of his story and working with a few of his parts, with the permission of his parts I put my hand on his chest where a part that carries fear resides. He has been afraid he could slip back into the gang culture if he doesn t keep up a tremendous effort. His heart was beating at a normal pace, but was working so hard my whole arm and hand resonated with the beat. I asked him to speak for his heart, and then I responded to his heart with compassion, both with words and touch. His heart beat changed to a normal, gentle, lub-dub... He noticed it too he didn t hear his heart beat drumming in his ears. I tried to guide him to touch his heart and talk to it in a similar way as I held my hand over his, but his heart resumed its extreme pattern. His attention to his body has been dominated by worried managers, which don t allow Self energy to address the part in his heart. This same client is an example of how the body can be a battlefield of polarized parts. His chest holds not only the efforting part, but two other parts as well. One holds his exiled fear and vulnerability, and another needs to cover up the vulnerability which has made his chest so tightly bound it feels like he is having a heart attack. In a way, that is exactly what it is an attack on his heart. Polarities between parts may also be experienced in the body as splits, imbalances, and distortions. As each part is recognized 2

3 and the sensations and stories are witnessed, flow and balance and integrity are restored in the body. DISSOCIATION PARTS IN EXILE Parts may exile the body to protect it from further trauma, abuse, or physical or emotional injury. They may separate the Self from the body, or they may exile their own somatic aspects. Working with a client with a congenital deformity on the right side, we discovered a part that holds a legacy burden. The part held her father s hatred of her deformity, and had exiled the right side of her body. As she released the burden, she felt her energy flowing throughout her entire right side for the first time in her life. Now that this part has reassociated its somatic aspect, it is able to find a more harmonious role. Conversely, the somatic aspect of a part may be the only apparent evidence of a part. Many clients stories, due to trauma, can only be retrieved through the language of the reptilian brain, which is body sensation and movement impulses. Other aspects of that part, the emotional or cognitive or visual, may eventually emerge as the somatic part is compassionately witnessed, yields it burdens, and is restored to its rightful role. PHYSICAL SYMPTOMS AS PARTS STRATEGIES Parts have bodies, parts are located in the body, and parts may use the body to perform their protective or reactive functions. Weight gain may be an attempt to protect the tender core from repeated boundary violations, or to prevent unwanted sexual interest; weight loss may be an effort to provide a sense of control. Sexual arousal, over-eating, and selfmutilation may prevent exiles from overwhelming the other parts. Sometimes parts have a role in disease or illness. And of course we have parts that react to these symptoms with frustration or judgment. One client recognized that a part created her Chronic Fatigue to get care and rest for a needy little girl part. A client with Environmental Illness discovered that a part believes it is the only way to protect her from the Cult to keep her too sick for them to want her. Her illness is also an eloquent way for the exiles to communicate their overwhelming experience of danger and toxicity everywhere. Another woman discovered a part that developed a symptom to slow down another part s urgent attempts to get her pregnant. There are parts that hate and fear the body. They may perpetrate, neglect, judge, numb, or immobilize the body. Even acceptable behaviors, like sports, exercise, dieting, and some sexual activities can be directed by parts to use, exploit or punish the body. Parts can use the powerful energies and hungers of the body, and may deplete, wear out or kill the body if necessary. Physical symptoms can be like the tracks that, when followed, lead to parts that can eventually transform and then reduce or eliminate the symptom. In all of these cases the goal is to free the Self to care for and protect the vulnerable parts so the parts will no longer need to cause or use the symptom. EXPERIENCING THE SELF IN THE BODY IFS therapists know that it is crucial for clients to be in their Self to heal. Methods like the path exercise and simply asking parts to step aside, help us access this Self energy. This experience of Self can be deepened by connecting with the body, such as the breath, 3

4 the spine or other bones, or with the heart, arts, meditation, or any of the mind-body healing modalities help us access strengthen and stabilize our experience of our Somatic Self. The Somatic Self is tingly, relaxed, aligned, integrated, grounded, fluid, flexible, spacious. Breathing is full and effortless. Feelings are open open to change, open to the sensations of the present moment. Experiencing the Self in a solid, grounded, bodily way yields to an expansiveness of Self that goes beyond the boundaries of one s individual person or body. There is an oceanic state of unity, with breath and energy moving in and out, as the boundaries of Self extend beyond the skin. There is an experience of the embodiment of the paradox of body/no body, of Self/No Self. Often the quickest route back to Self is through awareness of body. When a part dominates my experience, if I can turn my attention to some aspect of my body (my breath, a tight or aching place, or even my little finger), I may get a bit of space from that part enough to ask it to separate out. If I have the luxury to stay with my bodily experience of my Self, to notice the tensions and holdings and gradually release them, my bodily experience shifts. I feel spaciousness. My parts that believe I am a separate distinct individual in my particular bag of skin step aside, and my experience of my Self is less bound to my body, and I go on to experience that wonderful sense of Self unified with all other Selves. IS THE BODY THE SELF? Does the Self have a body/many bodies? Is the Body the Self? Is it different than the Self? Can the Self exist without a body? Do our bodies limit our ability to experience Self? (i.e., neurological damage, chronic pain, death?) Can our bodily experiences, even illness and disease, lead us back to greater Self-leadership? The following words of Lenore Friedman and Susan Moon provide some clarity for me with these fascinating questions. The quote is from the introduction to Being Bodies, their book of prominent Buddhist women s writings on the paradox of embodiment: Our bodies define and delight us, and they torment and betray us... We spend our lives in bodies, and if we realize anything we care to call enlightenment, it s in our bodies...we are clear that the body is not the ultimate truth, and that attachment to it causes suffering. But still, we don t simply leap into the realm of the Absolute. The Absolute is here, we say, in each embodied moment when we breathe, when we sweat, when we bleed, when we feel desire. A Response from Dick Schwartz For me the body and the Self are different; for the Self to lead adequately it needs to be in the body. The more it is embodied, the more it can allow its energy to flow thru the body and the more the parts trust its leadership... There s also the whole question of the relationship between parts bodies versus the body. That is, parts have a body of their own and are often out of their own body which is out of the body, and so on. I m not sure what to do with this, it s just interesting and seems important. I used to ask a part to find where it left its body in the past and many of them could find it in the middle of a bad scene. I d have them get into it there and then do a retrieval so we were bringing back 4

5 the part s body as well as the part. I m not sure why I don t do that anymore... The spaciousness you mention happens for me when parts separate their burdens from the body enough to let more Self in. My Self is not my body but my body is a sacred container for my Self on this plane or planet. Part of my life s goal is to be fully here so I can learn what I m here to learn. To do that I have to be fully embodied. I have to take good care of it because what I eat and how I exercise also affects how much I can embody. In other words, there are many ways to make your body more or less conducive to the full embodiment of the Self. As you can see, your paper sparked many ideas that have been floating around in my head and it s good to get them out. In 2009, Susan McConnell writes: In the decade since I wrote this article, I have developed Somatic IFS offering workshops and retreats for those IFS therapists in the US and Europe who want to expand their skills and understanding of parts and Self in the body. As I read this article again, I recall I was most curious about the relationship between the Self and the body, which is why I added the question marks to the title. I have been living the question like a Zen koan. I appreciate Dick s response to my question. I invite others to explore it as well. reprinted from Self to Self