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2 Using Reiki and Tantra to Heal Relationships BY K EESHA E WERS There are many misconceptions in the Western world about the word Tantra. Tantra is an Eastern philosophy that simply means to weave. Weaving Tantra into your Reiki practice can help you break through the bars our egos place around us and our relationships. ACCORDING TO TANTRIC MASTERS, the tapestry of your life can provide true and everlasting fulfillment only when all the threads are woven according to the pattern designated by nature. When we are born, life naturally forms itself around that pattern. However, as we develop the ego self as children, we also develop patterns of behavior that lead to fear, ignorance of ourselves and others, desire, and attachment, which can create knots in our thread and distort the pattern of our fabric. Tantra straightens the warp and woof of our weaving and restores it to the original pattern that nature intended. Tantra as a branch of Indian spiritual study dates back to the 5th century AD. The way of Tantra is systematic and comprehensive. The philosophies and practices of yoga, pranayama (conscious breathing), meditation, mantra (the use of sacred sound to raise vibration), yantra (gazing at a mandala to bring the mind to one pointed focus), mudras (physical positions used to contain and direct energy), kundalini and chakras, rituals of devotion, Ayurveda (the science of life), Jyotish (Vedic astrology), and other esoteric frameworks for generating the expansion of consciousness blend perfectly with the Tantric path, just as they blend perfectly with Reiki. The word Tantra is derived from the combination of two words, tattva and mantra. Tattva refers to the five gross elements that the Universe is composed of: earth, water, fire, air, and ether. Mantra is the science of mystic sound and vibrations. There are three schools of Tantra: Kaula, Mishra, and Samaya. It is commonly taught that there are only two schools of Tantra; the left-handed path and the right-handed path, each with its own practices. However, these two divisions actually make up the Kaula school of Tantra. The Mishra and Samaya schools of Tantra are largely unknown to most Westerners, as they are progressions from the external practices of the Kaula path to a more internal process. (Mishra Tantra is a mixture of external and internal, and the Samaya school is completely internal and more advanced.) One of the primary ideas of Tantra is that each person we come in contact with is a mirror of ourselves. Like all mystical spiritual traditions, Tantra recognizes that the Divine spark of creation is in all that surrounds us, including in each person with whom we interact. The journey to Self-realization lies in taming the reactivity of the mind so that equanimity can be attained and maintained in the face of challenging circumstances. This makes relationship a fast track to enlightenment, as it is often the primary challenge of life. There is a poem by the great Sufi mystic Jelaluddin Rumi in which he says: If you are irritated by every rub, then how will your mirror be polished? (translated by Camille Adams Helminski in Rumi Daylight: A Daybook of Spiritual Guidance. Shambhala: 1999). One of the primary ideas of Tantra is that each person we come in contact with is a mirror of ourselves. If a person rubs us the wrong way, it is likely that they have touched on an aspect of ourselves that we have valiantly tried to suppress or even disown. This interaction is the process of having our mirror polished to a high sheen if we can recognize what is going on. The Tantric path recognizes that the human experience will include duality like pain and joy, dark and light, night and day, male and female and that they are all necessary and, in the end, of the same Source. Reiki becomes a tool that assists in the letting go of emotional impressions (samskaras) from the past that trip us up in our relationships and cause emotional suffering. We are like unpolished rocks. When a rock is put into a rock tumbler by itself, it is unlikely it will ever come out polished. But if it goes into the tumbler with other rocks, the tumbling process will knock the rough edges off of all the stones, resulting in works of natural art that are polished, smooth, and beautiful. Using Reiki to bring awareness to a situation in which there is emotional or mental reactivity is like adding grit to the rock tumbler the polishing action is accelerated. Adding the Mental/Emotional symbol to your intentional desire to understand REIKI NEWS MAGAZINE WINTER

3 why you are reacting, rather than looking at the other person and blaming them, will result in a pearl of wisdom, much like the sand in the oyster that produces the beautiful pearl. Similar to Reiki, Tantra views the universe as a manifestation of pure consciousness. As consciousness is manifested, it appears to divide itself into two parts that are polar opposites that cannot exist without one another. 1 In reality, these two divisions are actually part of the whole and are the same at the root. One aspect remains as a static, formless quality that is represented in Hindu mythology as the masculine aspect of God known as Shiva. Shiva destroys what is no longer necessary in order to make way for the creation of that which is new. The other is the feminine, dynamic, creative aspect represented by the Goddess Shakti, the spark that ignites creation. Tantra views life as a constant play between Shiva and Shakti. Swami Rama, of the Himalayan tradition of Samaya Tantra (which I was initiated into), describes these two energies that eternally coexist, like ink and the written word, which, though one and the same, are different. The journey of Tantra is to know them both, at once, as one. Through the process of kundalini awakening, the two are eventually experienced in their true state of union. Kundalini is described in Vedic texts as the creative potential that is static spiritual force until activated. It is usually visualized as a coiled serpent located in the root chakra at the base of the spine. There are practices that activate kundalini and cause it to rise up the spinal column, which will lead to samadhi or cosmic union with the Divine, most often called Enlightenment in the West. In most Eastern spiritual traditions, it is cautioned that these practices should only be undertaken under the tutelage of an enlightened master, or the outcome can be dangerous. Kundalini rising too quickly or powerfully in an aspirant who is not ready to absorb this powerful energy can have devastating consequences on the nervous system. Reiki guides itself in how it works always creating a healthy, balanced experience. Combining the gentle consciousness of Reiki with the practices of Tantra is a perfect solution for allowing kundalini to rise at the pace that is suited for each unique individual. Adding the Reiki symbols to conscious U SING R EIKI AND T ANTRA Putting the Power Symbol to Work If you are ready to take responsibility for your own emotional state and truly stop blaming others for your upsets, add the Reiki Power symbol to your intention and you will begin to illuminate the shadow aspects of your psyche that have been dominating your life. You will begin living the Tantric mantra Tat Tvam Asi or That Thou Art. You are that which you do not like in another, and you are that which you love in another. You are not separate; you are a drop of water in the ocean of consciousness that unites you with all sentient beings. 1 William Lee Rand, Reiki, The Healing Touch, First and Second Degree Manual. (Vision Publications, October, 2008), II-8. breathing exercises, meditation, yoga, chanting, and yantra work will not only enhance and empower the practices, but also pace them to work at the speed and velocity that is suitable for the practitioner. Bringing Tantra and Reiki into Your Relationship as a Pathway to Self-Realization In a committed romantic relationship, your partner becomes a mirror of yourself. Tantra embraces all of life and realizes that there is a shadow side and a light side to everything. These two halves make up the whole, just as the two halves of a couple make a complete pair. With this in mind, our partner becomes one of our greatest teachers as we journey together along the path of life towards self-actualization. That path is not always straight, smooth, and wide. In fact, it is by necessity strewn with potholes, boulders, and speed bumps, and is often so twisted and curving that you can t see more than a few feet in front of you. According to Tantric thought, it is by falling into the potholes and having to climb the large hills in the middle of your path that brings growth and awareness. The smooth sections are only for you to coast along so you can regain your strength for the next challenge that will bring more growth. One of India s greatest philosophers, Jiddu Krishnamurti, talked a great deal about the cause of the struggle that sometimes emerges within relationships and how suffering is caused by our ideas about love: The demand to be safe in relationship inevitably breeds sorrow and fear. This seeking for security is inviting insecurity. Have you ever found security in any of your relationships? Have you? Most of us want the security of loving and being loved, but is there love when each one of us is seeking his own security, his own particular path? We are not loved because we don t know how to love. (J. Krishnamurti. Freedom from the Known, HarperSanFrancisco: 1975.) By bringing Reiki into your daily practices and experiences with your partner, you can move beyond the mechanisms of thought and expectation in your relationship to your heart center where love actually dwells. Love does not come from thought or the mind; it emerges from the connection to the Divine within the heart. Whenever we find ourselves emotionally triggered or upset, we are listening to the voice of the ego. The ego is that part of us we invited in as children to protect the psyche. It is an essential part of you. However, it is not your highest nature. You are part of the light of the creation of the Universe; you are part of the Divine. When you are emotionally activated, you have forgotten about your divinity. You are looking to another for your security. It is the small ego that is asking for respect, for love, for validation. Your God-Self does not need these things; it dwells in the consciousness of the Universe and is love. 48 REIKI NEWS MAGAZINE WINTER

4 U SING R EIKI AND T ANTRA Your Practice: Using Reiki to Work Through Conflict Try this exercise the next time your romantic partner says something that triggers your ego-mind into thinking how he or she does not love you, never appreciates you, shows no respect for you, and so on. 1. Ask your partner for some time that the two of you can be alone to do a communication exercise. 2. Meet together in a space that feels sacred to you both. Ask the Reiki guides and Ascended Masters for you both to be in attendance and to guide the process. 3. Draw the Reiki symbols of your choice in all directions of the room, including the floor and ceiling, setting the energy. 4. As you give Reiki to each other take a few moments to be silent with eyes closed and then with eyes open and gazing at one another. 5. Take some cleansing breaths using your Reiki symbols to inhale love and light and using the exhale to release any energetic blocks or negativity you might feel. 6. Now think about what the action was that your partner did that upset you and caused you to feel separate and unloved. Put it in the following script. Remember that one person at a time speaks while the other simply listens. When the first person is finished speaking, the other person has a chance to do the same process. Do this back and forth until you both feel connected and at peace again. This process is based on Sandra Levey s work called The Clearing. 7. Throughout the exercise, continue to give each other Reiki by placing your hands on each other s legs or by holding hands or using another comfortable hand position. Step 1 Speaker: When you (fill in the action), I feel (fill in the emotion this action brings up in you) and that brings back the memory of (something in the past that someone else did [like a parent or guardian in childhood] that reminds you of how you feel now). (When you re finished, insert the name of the person you ve identified from the past in the first sentence, as in When Mom, I felt and repeat the process until you get to the root person and event if you can.) Listener: Listens quietly and says and means! I am listening each time the above is repeated. Speaker: When you are late every time we are supposed to meet I feel like I don t matter to you. That brings back the memory of when my mom would forget to pick me up at school when I was in second grade. Listener: I am listening. Speaker: Mom, when you didn t pick me up at school I felt abandoned and like you didn t care about me. Listener: I am listening Step 2 Speaker: I ask you to forgive me for believing that when you (fill in the action from above), it means that I am (fill in whatever your ego mind was telling you: unimportant, unlovable, not being respected, and so on). Listener: Says, This is a story your mind made up. The truth is that I love you. Speaker: I ask you to forgive me for believing that when you are late, it means that I am unimportant. Listener: This is a story your mind made up. The truth is that I love you. Speaker: Mom, I ask you to forgive me for believing that when you forgot to pick me up at school, it meant that you didn t love me or I wasn t important to you. Listener: This is a story your mind made up. The truth is that I love you. Step 3 Speaker: I ask you to forgive me for forgetting that you are (whatever the Higher Self trait you would like to acknowledge that is really present in your partner beyond their ego state: unconditionally loving, selfless, trustworthy, Divine, wise, and so on). Listener: Says, This is the Truth and I love you. Speaker: I ask you to forgive me for forgetting that you are compassionate, unconditionally loving, trustworthy, and caring. Speaker: Mom, I ask you to forgive me for forgetting that you are unending love, Divine, wise, and kind. Step 4 Speaker: I ask you to forgive me for forgetting that I am (whatever the Higher Self trait is you would like to acknowledge in yourself that is always present in your heart and beyond your ego mind: whole and complete, safe, compassionate, united in love, and so on). Listener: Says, This is the Truth and I love you. Speaker: I ask you to forgive me for forgetting that I am unbounded love, whole and complete, safe, and united with you in love. REIKI NEWS MAGAZINE WINTER

5 U SING R EIKI AND T ANTRA The purpose of life is to love, both to give love and to receive it. Speaker: Mom, I ask you to forgive me for forgetting that I am whole and complete, deserving of unending love, safe, and a goddess that is part of the Divine. Repeat this process until peace is felt between you both. Remember that the end goal is to remember your Divine nature and Higher Self once again; to put your patterned ego-response back to rest. Whenever you are feeling defensive, unloved, alone, abandoned, you are feeling the voice of the ego or the lower self. You have forgotten who you really are. You are Divine and not in need of someone else to love you. You are Love. Remember that this person who has triggered pain within you is your mirror and has given you the gift of seeing the repressed shadow nature you don t wish to gaze upon. Yet this part of your nature deserves love too. Embrace this part of you, embrace your partner, and remember your divinity. Thank Reiki and your Reiki guides for their assistance when you are finished, and thank each other for creating the space for authentic reflection of the mind s process and for subsequent movement back into the heart center. Krishnamurti was specific about how we would know when we had transcended our preconceptions and thoughts about love and finally reached a state of actualized love, which is the goal of Tantra: Love is something that is new, fresh, alive. It has no yesterday and no tomorrow. It is beyond the turmoil of thought. It is only the innocent mind which knows what love is, and the innocent mind can live in the world which is not innocent. To find this extraordinary thing which man has sought endlessly through sacrifice, through worship, through relationship, through sex, through every form of pleasure and pain, is only possible when thought comes to understand itself and comes naturally to an end. Then love has no opposite, then love has no conflict. 2 The purpose of life is to love, both to give love and to receive it. The blockages we have to both the giving and the receiving are the challenges we are to overcome in this lifetime. Tantric Reiki, when practiced as a complete system, is a powerful vehicle that can help the aspirant love without conditions: to love as God loves us. 1 Keesha can be contacted by at keesha@fernlifecenter.com. 2 Freedom from the Known. Harper San Francisco 50 REIKI NEWS MAGAZINE WINTER

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