SPIRITUAL WELLBEING A Lecture for the DCI Colloquium on Health and Wellness Through the Lifespan October 10, 2018

Transcription

1 SPIRITUAL WELLBEING A Lecture for the DCI Colloquium on Health and Wellness Through the Lifespan October 10, 2018 Body, mind, emotions, and now spirit. We re going to get everything in this colloquium on health and wellness through the life span! I m going to lecture formally for about half of my time, and then engage all of you in discussion for the second half. So please think about what you mean by spiritual wellbeing as I speak, and then hopefully we can have a full discussion about it all. Stephen Covey wrote a book 30 years ago that became a huge international bestseller 25 million copies in 40 languages. i It s called The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Probably many of you have read it. It has a compelling discussion of spirituality as part of the seventh habit of regular, balanced self-renewal of sharpening the saw as he colloquially puts it. Covey describes the four dimensions of human life as physical (requiring regular exercise and nutrition), mental (requiring education and training), emotional (requiring empathy and pursuit of intrinsic security), and spiritual. He claims that most philosophies of life throughout history have paid close attention to all of these four dimensions, either explicitly or implicitly. ii I think his description of spirituality, and how to keep it renewed, is pretty useful, so I ll quote him in some detail: The spiritual dimension is your core, your center, your commitment to your value system. It s a very private area of life and a supremely important one. It draws upon the sources that inspire and uplift you and tie you to the timeless truths of all humanity. I find [spiritual] renewal in daily prayerful meditation on the scriptures, because they represent my value system. As I read and meditate, I feel renewed, strengthened, centered and recommitted to serve. Immersion in great literature or great music can provide a similar renewal of spirit for some. There are others who find it in the way they communicate with nature. Nature bequeaths its own blessing on those who immerse themselves in it 1

2 As you renew your spiritual dimension you increase your ability to live out of your imagination and conscience instead of only your memory, to deeply understand your innermost paradigms and values, to create within yourself a center of correct principals, to define your own unique mission in life, to rescript yourself to live your life in harmony with correct principals and to draw upon your personal sources of strength. iii Psychologist Erik Erikson, who lived for most of the twentieth century and taught at Harvard, Yale and Cal, developed the theory that we all go through specific stages of psychosocial development through the life span. Each of them asks us to resolve a particular crisis, and he s well known for coining identity crisis as the issue for the adolescent stage of life. As adults we have to deal with issues surrounding of intimacy (or love), then of generativity and productivity, and finally, in older life, of integrity and wisdom versus despair. iv It s around the DCI time in life that issues of spirituality often come most consciously to the fore. Psychologist Jean Piaget developed a theory of stages of cognitive development through the life cycle and Lawrence Kohlberg developed a theory of stages of moral development. v Then, psychologists like James Fowler, Sharon Parks and George Scarlett have built on all these theories to help us understand that each of us naturally go through specific stages of spiritual development or faith development during our lifetimes, whether we know it or not. I wrote a book 20 years ago vi which summarized this research and tried to frame it in a way that would be helpful in promoting spiritual wellbeing as we grow and change and evolve. Let me explain some of it to you. vii I describe six stages of spiritual development over the life cycle, which I name as Magic and Reality, arising during childhood, Dependence and Independence, during adolescence and early adulthood, and Interdependence and Unity, during late adulthood. Children between the ages of two and twelve generally move from a magical perception of the world (Stage One) to a reality-based one (Stage Two). That is, a fairy-tale world full of imaginary-friends and demons, superheroes, and villains gives way to one in which the child's primary question becomes, "Is it 2

3 real?" Is there really a tooth fairy or a Santa Claus? If they re in a religious context, the Bible and other scriptures start to be read concretely and now, rather than as mere tales The Red Sea really parted, and Jesus really walked on water. If one has a notion of God, it tends to shift from a mysterious all-powerful God, who directs everything, to a more tangible cause-and-effect God -- often imaged in Western culture as an old man with a long white beard -- who can be influenced by one s good deeds and prayerful promises and vows. Entering adolescence, one becomes deeply affected by peer pressure and can be easily influenced by the leadership of respected older people beyond one s parents. At the Dependence stage (Stage Three), the individual is susceptible not only to cult involvement and brainwashing, but also to the development of a meaningful outlook on life through following philosophical and religious teachings and moral rules. At this time in the life cycle, for many of those who believe in God, the image is of an idealized parental figure, unconditionally loving, although sometimes deeply judgmental. At Independence (Stage Four), for many occurring, if at all, during the college years or later in the twenties and thirties, one begins to find spiritual authority within, instead of relying on peers, social conventions, and respected elders. At this time it's very common, natural, and understandable for individuals from religious backgrounds to say, "I'm spiritual, but not religious," not wanting to be part of any institution or under anyone's control. A number of people become atheist or agnostic at this stage, but for those who don t, God usually becomes distant or impersonal, described as Spirit or Natural Law or Life Force or Energy in the universe, but not as a person who answers prayers or intervenes directly in human affairs. In the Interdependence Stage (Stage Five) -- reached by some, but by no means all of us, in middle age -- there's an expressed need for community again, within which to place one's 3

4 more fully evolved sense of self. God or Ultimate Reality is experienced paradoxically, so that many people at this stage during crisis or celebration can pray to God the person, even though they intellectually understand the divine to be an impersonal force in the universe. One can live with ambiguity and paradox at the Interdependence stage, while also looking for religious community, seeing the shortcomings of trying to go it completely alone. Stage Six, reached only by the very few of us who are mystics, is that of Unity. Mystics tend to see God or the Dharma, or Brahman, or the Tao, etc. -- in all things, and all things in God or another universal essence. They speak of having a direct experience of God, or of becoming fully enlightened, and ironically they can usually talk more easily with mystics of other traditions than with nonmystics within their own tradition. In my work as a university chaplain at Tufts and Stanford for thirty years, I found that most college students and young adults are either in the Dependence or Independence stage of spiritual development. The tension between these two stages can cause considerable stress and strain, not only internally for individuals but also among people. For example, I wrote in my book about a Protestant Christian student I knew, whom I believed was at the Independence stage. He explained that he no longer felt comfortable or welcome at most Christian worship services. He saw Jesus as a great historical teacher and exemplar, but not as identical with God and not as his personal Lord and Savior. When he expressed these thoughts, he got into arguments and felt excluded by many other Christians. Institutional religion generally seemed rigid and judgmental, pietistic and moralistic to him. Rejecting dogma and doctrine, he said, "There's a river of spirit deep within each of us that can't be named, that's completely nondenominational, and that doesn't require any labels like 'God' and 'Jesus.' There's no one right way to find that river and get into its flow." 4

5 I wouldn't be surprised if this same Christian, years from now, opens up to his institutional religion and newly accepts much of the dogma and doctrine of his once-rejected faith. That doesn't necessarily mean that he ll have re-entered the Dependence stage. The Interdependence stage, the fourth stage, has been called a "second naïveté," because religious viii symbols become sacred once again and are found to have new power. Like the onion-peeling effect of discovering symbolic depth in great literature, adults at the Interdependence stage are able to read scripture, for example, appropriately at the literal, allegorical, historical, conceptual, poetic, and inspirational levels. Religiously, people at the Interdependence stage are also open to dialogue between different religious traditions because they understand that truth is multidimensional. Any particular religious symbol, myth or ritual is necessarily limited and incomplete, bound by the follower's personal and cultural experiences. I like the Hindu metaphor of climbing the spiritual mountain to help us understand how we pass through different stages of spiritual development as we grow and mature. That is, there s a spiritual mountain that many of us are climbing throughout our lives. There are lots of paths up that mountain -- many paths that can reach the top (although very few people actually get to the summit of this very high mountain). Those paths may be rough or smooth, steep or easy, boring or colorful, tiring or exhilarating. Yet, they are all on the same spiritual mountain and ultimately they all converge at the very top, as mystics of all religions have told us. For most of us who aren't mystics, though, the ideal is to enjoy the journey -- to find fulfillment in our pilgrimage on the mountain itself -- rather than to miss everything along the way in pursuit of the summit. Certain climbers who call themselves "spiritual but not religious" speak about having a personal vitality and energy deep within themselves that relates them to the world around them in an essential way, but they aren't interested in buildings, clergy, 5

6 denominations, and groups of people who gather in formal worship. They don't want to have much to do with scripture, theology, doctrine, or authoritative teachings and practices. In many cases they pursue, in the name of being "spiritual but not religious," a pick-and-choose approach: say, putting together meditation from one tradition with nature-appreciation from another, philosophy or psychology from a third tradition with social activism or community service from a fourth. They're drawn to teachers who move easily between science and the enigmatic, between East and West, between theory and practice. But the spiritual mountain can also be climbed along the marked trails and paths of traditional religions. It is, of course, possible to make progress by striking out on one's own and bushwhacking through the brambles and undergrowth. That can be exhilarating and fun, at least for a while. But it s also a lot easier that way to get lost, exhausted and burnt out. Frustrations build, nerves fray, and tempers rise. Too often the journey is abandoned entirely. There are major world religions which have been around for millennia and have had billions of followers. The great religions are wide paths, which have accommodated the individual needs of radically different people. They've included mystics and intellectuals, artists and professional people, social activists and common laborers. They have spoken in a wide variety of ways to people of all ages and all stages of spiritual development. Certainly, none of these religions from my perspective is inherently any more "right" than another. There are no locks that any have on "salvation," insight, community, creativity, or meaning. On the other hand, it's through established religions that many encounter much of what is called "spirituality, although certainly not exclusively, as Stephen Covey has explained in his definition and description of personal renewal through this dimension. 6

7 Now, let s get more concrete about this. How exactly does one pursue spiritual wellbeing? How do we develop a habit of regular, balanced self-renewal in this one of the four dimensions of human nature which Covey tells us we must attend to before any of his other six habits of being a highly effective person can be pursued? Some of the answers are there in the ix quotation I read you earlier: You could read scripture, pray, and meditate if you re religiously inclined. Or you could immerse yourself in great literature poetry, novels, plays. (I teach a course at the business school here on moral and spiritual inquiry through literature). Many people find their deepest spiritual experiences through great music, and that means you need to spend more time listening and participating musically. Covey also reminds us of the power of being out in Nature for many of us: Nature bequeaths its own blessing on those who immerse themselves in it. I take another approach to all of this in my book by suggesting a number of different doorways to spirituality, including thinking, experiencing, walking, joining, crossing, and sitting. Let me briefly explain what each of these doorways can open to us, spiritually speaking: In terms of thinking, this is the academic approach. Studying world religions comparatively can be very inspiring. Theorists like Joseph Campbell and Carl Jung are often helpful. There s also much to be learned spiritually through modern physics, mathematics, psychology, anthropology, history, and many other disciplines. By experiencing, I mean primarily being in touch with the natural world around us: hiking, surfing, mountain climbing, boating. Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote of what he called the "religious sentiment," that is engendered by openness to nature and the language of the senses: Wonderful is its power to charm and to command. It is a mountain air.... It makes the sky and 7

8 the hills sublime, and the silent song of the stars is it...faith should blend with the light of rising and of setting suns, with the flying cloud, the singing bird, and the breath of flowers. x By walking I mean that one doesn t get very far by remaining in an armchair and viewing the spiritual mountain out the window in the distance. Spiritual wellbeing of necessity requires exertion and effort. It requires action. Put one foot in front of the other and start walking intentionally in any direction on any path. It might be yoga, going on a pilgrimage, participating in a ritual, chanting, dancing, who knows Let your heart lead you toward something that resonates deeply within you. Then there s joining with fellow travelers on the spiritual path that one has, at least temporarily, chosen to walk on. Companionship allows one to discuss discoveries and doubts, hopes and fears, ideas and feelings. Traveling companions help you see and experience a lot along the way that would otherwise be missed. Questions of each other help in the growth process, widen perspective, and deepen practice. Crossing has to do with recognizing the value of places where paths intersect. For example, in the realm of religion, experimenting with Buddhist and Hindu meditation can enhance Christian and Jewish prayer life and vice versa. Understanding how different traditions grieve their dead can make it easier to mourn the loss of someone close. Appreciating the similarities and differences between various celebrations at the time of the vernal equinox like Passover, Easter, and May Day can enliven the season for everyone. Sitting is specifically about appreciating the power of meditation and contemplative prayer in spiritual life. Long before Stephen Covey s best-seller, there was another one called The Relaxation Response by Harvard Medical School professor and cardiologist, Dr. Herbert Benson. In it he describes a very simple technique of sitting comfortably, closing your eyes, 8

9 relaxing your muscles, and following your breath in and out. It elicits physiological results of stress reduction and well-being that are medically measurable and helpful in treating hypertension and other diseases. In the end, he points out that this is no innovation of his, but simply scientific validation of age-old wisdom in many spiritual traditions around the world. xi Subsequently, in the half century since publication of The Relaxation Response, meditation has gone mainstream in secular culture in America. In conclusion, when describing the spiritual dimension of life, I personally keep coming back to these words of the English Romantic poet William Wordsworth in his 1798 Tintern Abbey : I have felt A presence that disturbs me with the joy Of elevated thoughts; a sense sublime Of something far more deeply interfused, Whose dwelling is the light of setting suns, and the round ocean, and the living air, And the blue sky, and in the mind of man: A motion and a spirit, that impels All thinking things, all objects of all thought, And rolls through all things. xii Our spiritual wellbeing, I believe, depends on how often and how well we can experience that sense sublime of something far more deeply interfused. NOTES i (retrieved on 10/6/18) ii Stephen R. Covey, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People (New York: Simon & Schuster, 1989), p iii Ibid., pp. 292, iv Erik H. Erikson, The Life Cycle Completed (New York: W.W. Norton, 1985), pp v James W. Fowler, Stages of Faith (San Francisco: HarperSanFrancisco, 1981), pp. 38, vi Scotty McLennan, Finding Your Religion: When the Faith You Grew Up with Has Lost Its Meaning (San Francisco: HarperSanFrancisco, 1999). 9

10 vii The next several pages of this lecture are adapted directly from Scotty McLennan, Jesus Was a Liberal (New York: Palgrave Macmillan, 2009), pp viii Fowler, Stages of Faith, p. 197, quoting Paul Ricoeur. ix Covey, Seven Habits, p x Ralph Waldo Emerson, Self-Reliance and Other Essays (New York: Dover Publications, 1993), pp. 105, 110. xi Herbert Benson, The Relaxation Response (New York: Avon Books, 1975), pp xii William Wordsworth, Tintern Abbey, in Oscar Williams (ed.), Immortal Poems of the English Language (New York: Simon & Schuster, 1952), p