LEADERSHIP CONFERENCE

Transcription

1 LEADERSHIP CONFERENCE May 7-8, 2014 PETE AND GERI SCAZZERO Emotionally Healthy Spirituality

2 EH Leadership Conference Schedule Wednesday 9:15 10:00 Welcome, Worship, and Logistics 10:00 11:00 Session 1: Introduction to Emotionally Healthy Leadership 11:00 11:15 BREAK 11:15 11:30 Session 2: Explore the Iceberg 11:30 1:00 Session 3: Leaders that Go Back to Go Forward 1:00 2:00 LUNCH (meal provided) 2:00 2:10 Midday Prayer 2:10 3:20 Session 4: Life in the New Family of Jesus 3:20 4:10 Session 5: Climb the Ladder of Integrity 4:10 4:30 BREAK 4:30 5:30 Session 6: Building Healthy Church Organization and Culture Thursday 9:15 9:45 Worship/Morning Prayer 9:45 11:00 Session 7: Leadership, Sabbath, and Slowing Down : Part 1 11:00 11:20 BREAK 11:20 12:00 Session 8: Leadership, Sabbath, and Slowing Down: Part 2 12:00 1:30 LUNCH 1:30 1:45 Midday Prayer 1:45 2:45 Session 9: Slow Down for Loving Union: Your Personal Rule of Life 2:45 3:05 BREAK 3:20 4:45 Session 10: Workshops Emotionally Healthy Skills Emotionally Healthy Song Writing and Worship Emotionally Healthy Prayer/Prophetic Ministry EHS and Building Multiracial Churches Emotionally Healthy Elder Boards Emotionally Healthy Preaching EHS and Ministry to the Poor and Marginalized 4:45 5:30 Session 11: Embedding EHS into Your Church Long Term :30-9:00 Launching an EHS Movement in Your Denomination, Network, and Churches (Intro to Consultant Training)

3 Session 1: Introduction to Emotionally Healthy Leadership I. The Church is in a Crisis Large-scale studies now conclusively reveal that people are not experiencing transformation in our churches (Reveal- WCA, George Barna). An estimated 8 out of 10 youth from evangelical Christian homes walk away from their faith by age 23 (Brown 2006). Less than two out of five who believe the Bible is God s word read it more than once a week. Only one out of four American Christians study the Bible regularly to find direction for their lives (Gallup, 2003). The emotional intelligence of people inside our churches is not any different from those outside. People s increased love for God is not translating into increased love for people (Reveal). The increase of Christian singles who cohabitate has exploded in the last ten years, particularly those under 35 years of age. Divorce rates are just as high among born-again Christians as among other groups (Barna Research Group, 2008). 52% of pastors say they and their spouses believe that being in pastoral ministry is hazardous to their family s wellbeing and health (NY Times, 2010). Studies by several different organizations suggest that about half of men attending church are involved in pornography (Genung, 2005). According to Focus on the Family, approximately 20 percent of the monthly calls to their pastoral care line deal with sexual misconduct and pornography. According to the New York Times (August 1, 2010) Members of the clergy now suffer from obesity, hypertension and depression at rates higher than most Americans. In the last decade, their use of antidepressants has risen, while their life expectancy has fallen. 57% would leave the pastorate if they had somewhere else to go or some other vocation they could do (NY Times, 2010). Seminaries in North America are declining at an average rate of 4% a year (Fuller Theological Seminary Report, 2013). The number of pastors who commit suicide has risen sharply in the last year. 1

4 II. EHS Resisting the Powers and Principalities A. Emotional Health and Spiritual Maturity are Inseparable (It is not possible to be spiritually mature while remaining emotionally immature.) Different Components/Aspects of Who We Are as Image-Bearers of God B. A Slowed-Down, Contemplative Spirituality Radically slowing down our lives to be with God in order to lead for him. Lk.10:

5 C. The Great Temptation: Leading without Jesus Not everyone who says to me, Lord, Lord, will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name and in your name drive out demons and in your name perform many miracles? Then I will tell them plainly, I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers! Matthew 7: D. The Leadership Wall 3

6 E. As Goes the Leadership, so Goes the Church (see Characteristics of Churches Transformed by EHS document) F. Emotionally Healthy Spirituality: Significant Learnings from the Past Year 4

7 G. Three Goliaths that Must Be Slain 1. Lack of Self-Awareness 2. Dying to the Wrong Things 3. Absence of Skills that Can Be Easily Learned 5

8 Session 2: Explore the Iceberg I. Biblical Foundations A. Feelings are Essential to Being Human. B. Feelings are Important to Discern God s Will. Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge. Ps. 62:8 II. Exercise III. Three Truths A. Emotions Don t Die. They Get Buried Alive. B. Healthy Community Requires We Know Ourselves. C. Emotions are Part of Discerning God s Will. IV. Application: 6

9 Session 3: Leaders that Go Back to Go Forward I. The Story of Joseph Themes Hagar Abraham Sarah Lies Sibling Rivalry Ishmael Isaac Rebecca Favoritism/ Unhealthy Marriages Esau Jacob Leah Bildah Zilpah Rachel Reuben Simeon Levi Judah Issacher Zebulaun Dinah Dan Naphtali Gad Asher Benjamin Earthquake Events Betrayal by brothers Loss of family, country, culture Prison 10 years (unjust) fruitful in land of suffering making forget Joseph Mannassah Ephrain Wife II. Biblical Principles A. The Blessing and Sins of Our Families Have Impact Lasting for at Least Three to Four Generations. B. Becoming a Christian Is to Be Birthed into a New Family. They told him, "Your mother and brothers are outside looking for you." "Who are my mother and my brothers?" he asked. Then he looked at those seated in a circle around him and said, "Here are my mother and my brothers! Whoever does God's will is my brother and sister and mother (Mark 3:31-34). C. Discipleship/Spiritual Formation Is the Process of Putting Off the Sinful Patterns of Our Family of Origin and Culture. 7

10 D. Taking Responsibility for Our Inner Lives (A Leader) is a person who has an unusual degree of power to project onto other people his or her shadow, or his or her light. A leader is a person who has an unusual degree of power to create the conditions under which other people must live conditions that can be as illuminating as heaven or shadowy as hell. A leader must take special responsibility for what s going on inside his or her self, inside his or her consciousness, lest the act of leadership create more harm than good. -Parker Palmer E. Sample Genograms 8

11 Genogram Worksheet Pete and Geri Scazzero January 2012 We look at our families, not to find fault, but to get a realistic picture of what was healthy and unhealthy so we can grow, heal, and mature into our authentic selves in Christ. We are not focusing on our positive legacies in this exercise due to the limits of time, as well as our tendency to avoid examining the negative aspects of our families. Fill in 1 3 through the eyes of your childhood (8 to 12 years old). 1. Next to each family member (parents, grandparents, siblings, and children) write down 2 3 adjectives describing them. 2. On the lines between your parents describe their marriage(s). Describe your grandparent s marriages, and then your own marriage (in 2 3 words). 3. Use the symbols below to depict the relationship between family members. Use the Emotional Relationships Legend below and draw line symbols to connect family members. Emotional Relationships Legend Distant / Poor Cutoff / Estranged Conflict Enmeshed Abuse Cutoff/Estranged: Family members avoid communication or contact. Conflict: Issues don t get resolved. Enmeshed: Pressure is created for family members to think, feel, and act alike. We lose our distinctiveness and abandon ourselves. For example, you agree to attend a family event because you don t want to deal with someone else s disapproval. Abuse: Severe crossing of personal boundaries, injuring the dignity and humanity of another whether it be sexual, emotional, or physical. Distant/Poor: Low or minimal emotional connection between family members. 9

12 4. On the right side of your paper, note generational themes. (For example, addictions, affairs, losses, abuse, divorces, depression, mental illness, abortions, children born out of wedlock, etc.). 5. Beneath that note earthquake events in your family history. (For example, premature deaths, abuse, suicide, war, cancer, business collapse, affairs, immigration from another country, etc.). 6. Optional: Next to your name, describe your role in the family system. (For example: The Scapegoat, The Golden Child, The Victim, The Fixer, The Hero, The Caretaker, The Problem Solver, The Baby, The Screw-up, The Peacemaker.) Consider how your birth order may have affected your place in the family and the ways in which you related to your family members. Take a step back and consider your genogram: 1. What might be one or two insights you are becoming aware of in terms of how your family (or others) impacted who you are today? 2. What are one or two specific ways this may be impacting your leadership in the church? 10

13 Exploring Your Family s Emotional Connection Geri Scazzero April, 2014 Adapted from How We Love Workbook, Yerkovich (Waterbrook, 2006) Most of us lived with our families for the first 18 years of our lives. We were shaped and molded through the interactions of our parents/caretakers from birth. This directly relates to how we connect and bond with others or how we avoid certain connections. This exercise explores two powerful factors: how you experienced comfort (if at all) in your family of origin, and the issue of safety. We invite you to answer the following questions below. COMFORT 1. In the chart below, note how you were comforted as a child by members of your family when you experienced distress (i.e., when you cried, were angry, got hurt, experienced sadness, embarrassment, or disappointment, etc.). Through touch and affection Mother Father Siblings Through listening to you talk and responding with insightful questions Through validating your feelings Through addressing tensions and conflict not holding grudges 2. How do you comfort people in distress today especially those closest to you (e.g., through touch/affection, listening, validating and resolving conflict)? 11

14 SAFETY 1. List each family member you grew up with, and next to each name describe 2 3 feelings you felt most often in his/her presence. 2. If you could change one thing about your primary caregivers, what would it be? 3. What, if anything, made you feel unsafe in your home when you were growing up? What did you do to protect or defend yourself? 4. Did anything in any of your other environments (e.g., your church, school, neighborhood, extracurricular activities, etc.) make you feel unsafe? What patterns can you discern generationally in your genogram? Take a step back and consider the following: 1. How might your past be impacting your ability to bond with others in your present relationships (e.g., in your marriage/family, leadership, friendships, church)? 2. How is this impacting your leadership and efforts to form a loving community where people offer one another comfort and safety in their relationships (i.e. to love well)? What might be one step for you in going forward? 12

15 Session 4: Life in the New Family of Jesus I. Applications for Leadership A. Change Your Unhealthy Family Commandments Are you living in your father s house or your Father s house? Examples of Unbiblical Family Commandments 1. MONEY - Money is the best source of security. - The more money you have, the more important you are. - Make lots of money to prove you made it. 2. CONFLICT - Avoid conflict at all costs. - Don t get people mad at you. - Loud, angry, constant fighting is normal. 3. SEX - Sex is not to be spoken about openly. - Men can be promiscuous; women must be chaste. 4. GRIEF AND LOSS - Sadness is a sign of weakness. - You are not allowed to be depressed. - Get over losses quickly and move on. 5. EXPRESSING ANGER - Anger is dangerous and bad. - Explode in anger to make a point. - Sarcasm is an acceptable way to release anger. 6. FAMILY - You owe your parents for all they ve done for you. - Don t speak of your family s dirty laundry in public. - Duty to family and culture comes before everything. 7. RELATIONSHIPS - Don t trust people. They will let you down. - Don t ever let anyone hurt you. - Don t show vulnerability. 8. ATTITUDES TOWARD OTHER CULTURES - Only be close friends with people who are like you. - Do not marry a person of another race or culture. - Certain cultures/races are not as good as ours. 9. SUCCESS - Is getting into the best schools. - Is making lots of money. - Is getting married and having children. 10. FEELINGS AND EMOTIONS - You are not allowed to have certain feelings. - Your feelings are not important. - Reacting with your feelings without thinking is okay. 13

16 B. Lead Others to Do Life Differently in the New Family of Jesus Biblical Family Commandments 1. MONEY - Remember you are a steward of God s money. It belongs to him. - Be generous as God enables you. - Live within your means and do not go into unnecessary debt. 2. CONFLICT - Do not avoid conflict; learn to negotiate differences. - Allow God to mature you through conflicts. - Eliminate dirty fighting tactics (e.g. attack, blame, passive-aggressiveness, appeasement). 3. SEX - Receive your sexuality, maleness or femaleness, as a beautiful gift from God. - Preserve the preciousness of sexual intimacy for the covenant of marriage. - Do not use people or let yourself be used. 4. GRIEF AND LOSS - Our griefs and losses are important to God. - Pay attention and wait on him in our losses. - Grieving our losses, instead of ignoring them, leads to maturity and compassion. 5. EXPRESSING ANGER - Explore the hurts and fears behind anger. - Do not stuff or project anger, but use it to assert yourself. - Do not let the sun go down on your anger. 6. FAMILY - Thank God for sovereignly placing you in your family of origin. - Leave the sinful patterns of your family, country, and culture. - Learn to do life differently in the family of Jesus. 7. RELATIONSHIPS - Repair ruptured relationships as much as possible. - Respect each person s individuality for healthy togetherness. - Receive God s love in order to give love to others. 8. ATTITUDES TOWARD OTHER CULTURES - No one is inferior or superior in God s family. - Each culture offers a redemptive gift to the world. - Racisms, ethnocentrism, classism and sexism do not belong in God s family. 9. SUCCESS - Become the person God intends and do his will. - Learn from your failures. - Live in brokenness, depending upon God. 10. FEELINGS AND EMOTIONS - Pay attention to your emotions as a gift from God. - Prayerfully and carefully think about your feelings before you act on them. - Experience your emotions in order to love others well. 14

17 C. Equip People to Bond in order to Build Loving Communities 2014 Pete Scazzero. Adapted from Lori H. Gordon, Pairs, 2002 Emotionally Healthy Skills 2.0 Community Temperature Reading Clarify Expectations Stop Mind Reading Genogram Your Family Explore the Iceberg Incarnational Listening Climb the Ladder of Integrity Clean Fighting 15

18 D. Differentiate for Yourself, the Church, and the World 1. Working Definition: Remaining connected to people, yet not allowing my reactions or behaviors to be determined by them. My primary task, like Jesus, is to calmly differentiate my true self from the demands and voices around me, discerning the desires, vision, pace, and mission the Father has given me. Only Jesus was 100% differentiated. 2. The Differentiation Scale Most of self is a false self and reflected from others When anxiety is low, they function relatively well Quick to imitate others and change themselves to gain acceptance from others Often advocate one set of principles/beliefs, yet live another Self-esteem soars with compliments and is crushed by criticism Often make poor decisions due to their inability to think clearly under stress Can follow life goals that are determined from within Can state beliefs calmly without putting others down Can allow children to progress through developmental phases into adult autonomy Able to cope with crises without falling apart Stay in relational connection with others without insisting they see the world the same 16

19 (Note: Few people function at this level.) Experiences/expresses compassion for different points of view without compromising integrity Is principle oriented and goal directed secure in who they are Is able to leave family of origin and become an inner directed, separate adult Can listen without reacting, and communicate without antagonizing others Free to enjoy life and play Able to maintain a non-anxious presence in the midst of stress and pressure E. Follow Joseph s Example to Break the Power of the Past for a Great Future But Joseph said to them, Don t be afraid. Am I in the place of God? You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. So then, don t be afraid. I will provide for you and your children. And he reassured them and spoke kindly to them. Genesis 50:

20 Session 5: Climb the Ladder of Integrity I. Introduction A. Purpose: To clarify your values by processing your thoughts and feelings, and to assert yourself respectfully. B. The Ladder is Not a Conflict Resolution Tool C. The Goal: To Live with Integrity D. Get Clear Within Yourself and Take Responsibility for Your Values II. Three Phases of the Ladder A. What is going on inside me (1-4) B. What I value (5-8) C. What I hope (9-10) 18

21 III. Model 19

22 IV. Steps to Using the Ladder of Integrity A. Identify a non-volatile issue that is bothering you (e.g., a staff member not preparing well for a sermon or message, a poorly led meeting, someone not being thoughtful during a difficult conversation, a volunteer not being truthful about what is happening inside their ministry, a Board member s hurtful remark, someone showing up late for a meeting, behavior at a weekend service that is not visitor-friendly, a co-worker not answering your ). Write down the issue by completing the following sentence stem: Right now the issue on my mind is Disrespectful start-up: Right now the issue on my mind is that you don t care about beginning meetings late. Respectful start-up: Right now the issue on my mind is that our meetings start later than the agreed upon time. B. Partner Activity 1. Find a neutral partner, a person with whom you do NOT have the issue, to practice going up the Ladder of Integrity. Decide who will go first. Let your partner know who they are standing in for. As the Speaker be sure to: Ask permission. Go up the Ladder (in order). Skip a sentence stem if it does not help you to explore your issue. Thank the Listener when you are done. As the Listener be sure to: Give the Speaker your full attention. Not interrupt. Thank the Speaker for sharing when he/she is done. 2. Switch V. Applications of the Ladder to Create a Healthy Leadership Culture 20

23 Session 6: Building Healthy Church Organization and Culture The core issues in the inner life of a leader are to: Face Your Shadow Lead Out of Your Marriage or Singleness Slow Down for Loving Union Practice Sabbath Delight They have large implications for our leadership in building a healthy church organization and culture. Pete expounds on this in The Emotionally Healthy Leader (release date is February, 2015). I. Planning and Decision Making II. Culture and Team Building III. Power and Wise Boundaries IV. Endings and New Beginnings: A Case Study of Succession at NLF 21

24 Session 7: Leadership, Sabbath, and Slowing Down: Part 1 What good is it for you to gain the whole world, yet forfeit your soul? (Mark 8:36). I. Present Day Western Spirituality A. Present Day Realities in Our Churches B. Learning from Church History 22

25 II. The Sabbath a 24 hour time frame without anxiety or have-to s The Sabbath was made for people, not people for the Sabbath. (Mk 2:27) I am the Lord your God who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery. * You shall have no other gods before me. * You shall not make for yourself an idol. * You shall not misuse the name of the Lord your God. * Observe the Sabbath day by keeping it holy, as the Lord your God has commanded you. Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is a Sabbath to the Lord your God. On it you shall not do any work, neither you, nor your son or daughter, nor your male or female servant, nor your ox, your donkey or any of your animals, nor any foreigner residing in your towns, so that your male and female servants may rest, as you do. Remember that you were slaves in Egypt and that the Lord your God brought you out of there with a mighty hand and an outstretched arm. Therefore the Lord your God has commanded you to observe the Sabbath day. * Honor your father and your mother. * You shall not murder. * You shall not commit adultery. * You shall not steal. * You shall not give false witness. * You shall not covet. (Deuteronomy 5:6-21) A. Four Core Elements to a Biblical Sabbath 1. Stop 2. Rest 3. Delight 4. Contemplate 23

26 B. Sabbath and Spiritual Formation 1. Sabbath as Resistance 2. Sabbath as Play 3. Sabbath as Feasting 4. Sabbath as Revelation C. Important Reminders 1. We Get to Keep Sabbath 2. Legalism/Perfectionism Kills Sabbath-Keeping it s a day of no have to s 3. Start somewhere (a little bit of progress makes a big difference) D. Panel Discussion 24

27 Session 8: Leadership, Sabbath, and Slowing Down: Part 2 I. Sabbath Small Group Questions What questions do you have regarding Sabbath-keeping? What 24-hour period might serve you at this phase of your journey (for example, all day on Mondays or Fridays, 6 p.m. Friday night to 6 p.m. Saturday night every week)? What do you need to stop that relates to your work paid and unpaid? What activities create rest and delight for you? What is your greatest fear when you think of Sabbath-keeping? If you already keep the Sabbath, what adjustments could you make in order to deepen or broaden your experience? II. Final Sabbath Applications for You and Your Church A. Reframing Vacations and Getaways B. Sabbaticals: The Long View C. Introducing Sabbath to the Whole Church D. For FAQ s and Other Resources: For free sermons on Sabbath by Pete, go to: Wayne Mueller, Sabbath: Finding Rest, Renewal, and Delight in Our Busy Lives (Bantam, 2000) Lynn Baab, Sabbath Keeping: Finding Freedom in the Rhythms of Rest (IVP Books, 2005) 25

28 III. The Daily Office: Silence and the Cultivation of Rhythms in Our Days A. Definition and Practice B. David, Daniel, Jesus, and the Early Church C. The Goal: Communion with Jesus while We are Active D. Key Points of Learning 26

29 Session 9: Slow Down For Loving Union: Your Personal Rule of Life I. Introduction: The phrase rule of life comes from the Greek for trellis. A trellis is a tool that enables a grapevine to get off the ground and grow upward, becoming more fruitful and productive. In the same way, a Rule of Life is a trellis that will help you abide in Christ and become more fruitful spiritually. It is a set of conscious guidelines, your unique combination of spiritual practices, which help you to keep God at the center of everything you do. A. History B. Anchoring Your Life in God II. Sample Rule of Life 27

30 Crafting a Personal Rule of Life Pete and Geri Scazzero, April 2014 Introduction: A Rule of Life is a structure or rhythm for our lives that enables us to pay attention to God in everything we do. It serves our desire to abide in and experience His love all day long, not compartmentalizing our spirituality. Our goal is to live our lives in communion with Jesus, i.e., to pray without ceasing. All of us have a Rule (Way) of Life, but it is mostly unconscious. The purpose of crafting a conscious Rule is to more effectively structure our time around what keeps us connected to God and remain realistic about our God-given or seasonal human limits. Here are a few simple steps to help you begin: Step 1: Write down everything you currently do that nurtures your spirit and fills you with delight. Consider the people, places, and activities that you find life giving. Normally, when we think of spiritual activities, we limit ourselves to things like prayer, going to church, worship, and Bible reading. Don't censor yourself. Your list may include gardening, walking the dog, being in nature, talking with close friends, cooking, painting, jumping out of airplanes, or any number of other possibilities. List them all. Step 2: What are the have to s in this season of your life that impact your rhythms? (For example, caring for aging parents, a special needs child, a demanding season at work, health issues, moving or house renovations etc.) Step 3: Write down the activities you need to avoid, those things that impact your spirit negatively. (For example, violent movies, hurrying, things that cause you stress, overfunctioning) Step 4: Fill in the Rule of Life diagram with your responses from Step 1, 2 and 3. Step 5: Add to each of the boxes additional things you are presently doing. Step 6: Circle those things you want to change or eliminate. 28

31 Application: Take a mental step back and consider the following questions: What do you think will be your biggest challenge? What is the one thing you must start doing right now! What is one thing you want to stop doing? What is one stretch goal you may want to consider? Remember: 1. Listen to your heart's desires when discerning your Rule. God often speaks to us through them. 2. Make sure your Rule includes some joy, play, and fun. 3. Take baby steps. Don't make your Rule impossible to follow. 4. You're going to have trouble keeping your Rule sometimes. Recognize that you're human and try again. Unexpected things come into our lives that we can t help or control. It takes experimentation to discern what form your Rule should take. 5. Figure out how much structure you need a lot or a little. In her book Living Faith Day by Day, Debra Farrington writes: Over the years I've also struggled with the amount of structure to build into a rule. People I respect deeply have detailed rules with set times for prayer, established types of prayer, and so on. But that doesn't work for me. It makes my spiritual life into something to add to my to-do list, and it becomes a chore and not a blessing. Over the years I have found that my rule for prayer needs to be more openended. I am committed to praying daily, but how and when I do that varies from day-today. Again, remember that the goal is for you to receive the love of God and to offer His love to those around you. A second, clean Rule of Life sheet has been provided for you for when you return home to serve you in creating a healthier, more balanced rhythm for staying connected to yourself, God, and others. 29

32 Rule of Life Worksheet RELATIONSHIPS PRAYER Love of God (Receive and Give) WORK REST 30

33 Rule of Life Worksheet RELATIONSHIPS PRAYER Love of God (Receive and Give) WORK REST 31

34 Session 10: Workshops Workshop Options: Emotionally Healthy Skills Emotionally Healthy Song Writing and Worship Emotionally Healthy Prayer/Prophetic Ministry EHS and Building Multiracial Churches Emotionally Healthy Elder Boards Emotionally Healthy Preaching EHS and Ministry to the Poor and Marginalized 32

35 Session 11: Embedding EHS into Your Church Long Term The Kingdom of God is Slow. God Will Not Be Rushed. He told them another parable: The kingdom of heaven is like a mustard seed, which a man took and planted in his field. Though it is the smallest of all seeds, yet when it grows, it is the largest of garden plants and becomes a tree, so that the birds come and perch in its branches. Matthew 13:

36 Next Steps 1. Begin the Journey. (Read Emotionally Healthy Spirituality, Emotionally Healthy Church) 2. Process Emotionally Healthy Spirituality Course (The EHS Course) with Key Leaders. (DVD, Workbook, and Daily Office Devotional) 3. Launch and Embed the EHS Course (Possibly with the EHS Church-Wide Initiative). For the booklet How to Run the EHS Course and other materials to implement the course, go to: 4. Slowly Integrate Emotionally Healthy Skills 2.0 and The Emotionally Healthy Woman. Emotionally Healthy SKILLS 2.0 Community Temperature Reading Clarify Expectations Stop Mind Reading Genogram Your Family Explore the Iceberg Incarnational Listening Climb the Ladder of Integrity Clean Fighting The Emotionally Healthy Woman / Man Quit Being Afraid of What Others Think Quit Lying Quit Dying to the Wrong Parts of Yourself Quit Denying Anger, Sadness and Fear Quit Blaming Quit Over-functioning Quit Faulty Thinking Quit Living Someone Else s Life 5. Build a Mature Transformational Culture. 6. Stay Connected through Facebook, Twitter, Blog, Podcast 34

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38 Emotionally Healthy Leadership Conference 2014 Feedback Form 1. As a result of this conference, I am beginning to realize 2. How would you rate the elements of this seminar on a scale of 1 (lowest) to 5 (highest)? Please write any comments you think will help us. Session 1: Introduction to Emotionally Healthy Leadership Session 2: Explore the Iceberg Session 3: Leadership that Goes Back to Go Forward Session 4: Life in the New Family of Jesus Session 5: Climb the Ladder of Integrity Session 6: Building Healthy Church Organization and Culture Session 7: Leadership, Sabbath, and Slowing Down: Part 1 Session 8: Leadership, Sabbath, and Slowing Down: Part 2 36

39 Session 9: Slow Down for Loving Union: Your Personal Rule of Life Session 10: Workshops: Check one that you attended. Emotionally Healthy Song Writing and Worship Emotionally Healthy Prayer/Prophetic Ministry EHS and Building Multiracial Churches Emotionally Healthy Skills Emotionally Healthy Elder Boards Emotionally Healthy Preaching Emotionally Healthy Ministry to the Poor and Marginalized Session 11: Embedding EHS in Your Church: The Long-Range Vision 3. What was most valuable to you? Why? 4. What could have been more helpful? How could it have been more helpful? 5. What else would you like to share with us that can help us with future events? 6. OTHER: a. Hotel b. Food c. Snacks d. Breaks e. Hospitality f. Registration g. Handouts 37

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