c1ti~'ll. Sch00L. The Sarcophagus Featuring Better Burials and Sanitation DECEMBER. j9j6 -Q--- Qt~ri6tmu6 ~rtttiu!lli

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1 ttl-._..._. '-a-.-.a-u- _U-U a- _.. '.- a.-a _ The Sarcophagus Featurng Better Burals and Santaton C9tle Qt~r6tmu6 ~rtttu!ll \ The new and old methods of bural. We Advertse to Educate To Whom and Why Does the Sarcophagus Appeal? To the bereaved relatves and frends because of ts protectng, lastng, beautful and consolng features. n the purchase of the Sarcophagus you can rghtfully feel you dd your best. Knowng the body of the loved one has been placed where t wll be protected from everythng wlll be the source of much consolaton n the future. To the nformed Boards of Health, because of ts santary features. t s absolutely santary. To the cemetery assocatons because t keeps the cemetery n the best of condton and the landscape beautful at all tmes, as there s no snkng of graves and no leanng of monuments. A grave properly tamped when a Sarcophagus s used wll never settle. You want your lot n the cemetery beautful and the Sarcophagus assures ths. The merts of the constructon of the Amercan Sarcophagus Tomb are set forth n the fact that the Unted,States and Canadan governm~nts have ssued patent rghts protectng us on ths constructon. We wll apprecate a.ny good word you may spread to your frends when they are n. need of the Sarcophagus. People are already arrangng for ths Tomb n wlls and n other ways. Order from the undertal\:ers. We are always glad to explan. Amercan Sarcophagus Company OMAHA. NEBRASKA ct~'ll -Q--- Sch00L Vol. XXX No.4 DECEMBER j9j6

2 ,: t +'-'0-"--"_"_,,_.,_,,_,,_,,_,,_,,_,._,,+. J. Porter Allan New Methods Class of 95 j :, : h -! N THE : Has secured t e exclusve rght"to represent, Grocery and Meat Busness. n Omaha j j. j. Carload buyng-48 stores The L. G. BALFOUR CO.,- Sellng for cash only - _ of Attleboro. Mass. _ M mmum de very expense :.! wth the most fnshed. 9 6 sales wll pass - lne of $,850, Class.. Socety and n Omaha and Lncoln alone Club Je~elry - A gan of over. a half-mllon l - over. ast year n the cty - _ He wll be pleased to sub-,!, The best and most fot: your,. mt. them for your ap- - money everyday at the. provalbyappontment. ::: BASKET STORES : Harney S. 37th St. ':,. ~ +"'--'~'-"--'--a--;- -a a.-a.-...~ +_"_"_,,_,,_,.-',,_,,_,,_,.-' _ t,, : ~.~ a-._ _ _._.+ -t._ _ _ _ _._ _ _. ;; YES, GVE HER A BOX OF CANDY f, :..~~! - ~_: : :! 6th Howard!!, l +'-"-,,-"-"-'-"-',-,,-,,-,,-,,-,,_,,_,,_,,_,,_,,_ a--oe : -.+ t--.-u-e : e a RODSTROM. ~UALTY PHOTOGRAPHS FOR YOURSELF AND FRENDS 8 Farnam St. Phone Douglas U_- - O - -+ J!! THE OLD HGH SCHOOL BULDNG. ~ofttt tly~ 5lynhofu5 of ~fr~nng h~5t~nh~h, ~rnppng tly~ ~gly ~tlyool n lyn;;tt~ grn~ lglyt; j!ly~ lyll fuly~r~ t 5tooh futly t5 hrofun nuh gr~~n h~tw~h, ~a(l'~ ntru~ tlyron~ for tly5 tjonartly of~glyt. ~ofu ntly~ 5~nt~ pn55 m~mor~5 0'~r lym, f tm~5 fuly~n ly~'h ru~h all tlyat rttt h~lofu; (ff)r~at gofr~rnor5 "tly~n lyab hofu~h fu5~tt h~for~ lym, j!ly~n ly~ funs frdor 0'~r fntoln, ly5 foe. ~ouh ly~ tlyang~ lys nefu realm f tly~ tlyttnt~ fu~r~ lym gfren? f tours~ not, for fuly~r~ s tly~r~ lyonor 50 gr~at? ~5 to ~trfr~ as tlysfuortlytt nb ~ounrtly lyas strnen;. '<To ~hutat~ m~n to fu~l gonern tly~ 5tttt~! \.E. S., '8.

3 Page 2 THE REGSTER Cut Out Ths Coupon... r. Just to Advertse Our New 'lx SEPA Photographs For a short tme only. we wll wth ths Coupon and $.50 two of our 7xl Sepa Photos. SCOTT STUDO 36 South 5th Phone Douttlas a- e- - '-"-"_"~"_....._.a-'~+ -t-..~ f ! YOUNG MEN STUDY LAW Down-town Evenng Sessons! LAW DEPARTMENT UNVERSTY OF OMAHA r Arthur C. Thomsen, Sec'y Law Dept. 405 Omaha Nat'l Bank BlDg..j.--" ,.-..-:'-nl- _ -';' _ _ _ _+ : T - ~- _ _ - _ _ _ _ '- _ _ _ - n_.._'.; ~- - - t : f "LOOSE CHANGE". You may consder the money you have left over at the end of the week or month! merely "loose change," to be spent on trflng luxures, but-that loose change, or even j a part of t, f banked regularly n.our Savngs Department, would soon net you a snug : :! lttle bank account, and at the same tme earn 3' per cent nterest for you.! Start now to bank your loose change and be a systematc ~aver../ AMERCAN STATE BANK. +--"-"-"-"-"-.-"-',-"-".-,,,-.,-,,-,,-,,-,,-,,-_"_',_,,_,,_,,_,,_,,_,,_,,_,,_,+ ~ a'-"-' _.,._o_.._.._a._.._ ;..... r : The Hgh Cost of Lvng! :!.. h r All over t s country, all over the world, ndeed, people are dscussng the H. C.ofL.And' all over. ths country everybody seems anxous to contrbute to the causes. ' Extravagance every- where. All sorts of fool frlls and.fobles. are ntroduced to add to the cost of dong busness~ andn~-w as always "Jon~.fPays the r r r freght. ',! Ths s a real 'mercantlensttuton-manners~ merchandse, methods, all dfferent. We are splenddly equpped for Holday busness. Most of your parents consder our store ther store. Tlle' for you, ~lso, to get the habt.. Thos. Klpatrck &. Co ~ -n.~...;..._.._.._.._.._.._. _.._.._.._.._.+ HGH SCHOOL REGSTER. P~bl'shed M~rthy fro~ Septemberto Jtne' by Students of the O~aha Hgh School: DWGHT HGBEE Edtor.n.Chef Vol. XXX j Entered at the Omaha Post. ~. offce as second.class matter f OMAHA, DECEMBER, 96 THE REGSTER.STAFF EDTORAL DEPARTMENT BUSNESS DEPARTMENT CONTENTS My l-ast Chrstmas Tree.... n Memoram :. LAWRENCE B. HOGUE Busness Manager Number 4 Subscrpton Rates, 50 centa per Year Sngle Copy, 0 cents Advertsng Rates on Applcaton to Busness Manager Address all communcatons and make checks payable to Hgh School Regster, Omaha, Nebraska DWGHT HGBEE, Edtor-n-Chef V~GNA GREENE, Assstant Edtor Assocate Edtors: Dorothy Hpple, Wllam Alley, Warren E~e, Wnfred Travs BERNE HOLMQUST,Managng Edtor Earl Lowe, Helen Wahl, Leona Johnson, Barton Kuhns, Clarence Dunham News Doroth.y Cavanaugh, Frank Campbell, Herluf Olson, Ruth Parker, Russe Funkhouser, Helen Wnkelman Athletcs: Robert Buckngham, Helen Bertwell Hotchpotch: Maron Boooth, Charles Morearty, Mar~aret McWllams, Cleary HalJnghen. Exchange: Mary McAdams, Robert Booth Art: Tobe Sexton, Arthur Hgbee, Madelene McKenna Photography: Catherne Goss,' Herbert Negle. LAWRENCE HOGUE, Busness Manager RCHARD SMTH, Ass't Busness Mgr. Advertsng Solctors, Ralph Swanson and Clarence Moore. DANEL LONGWELL, Crculaton 'Manager Old Hgh School Edtoral ---- e Frontspece 5 H -9 The Collecton Box. News :. Exchange. The Buck-Bored.. '.~'.<,..... ;.... f\thletcs. " 2 " 3 "5 " 7 " 8 " 20

4 4 THE REGSTER j'._..-.._.._.._.._._.._.._.._.._.._.._._"-.._._._..-. _ - _ _ - _ - _ - - t Complete Stock SPALDNG Jerseys and Sweaters, POPULAR PRCES' : Some New,...5 New Fancy. "A,Ar Caps. Styles n j fj s l O. Arrow Collars J.t<,A'L~. $.00 - ~ ; _.._.._.._._.._.. J _ :, Chrstmas Buyng s 'GONG FNE at Combs' ị... You bettef hurry and get the beneft of varety wth lovelness,and Sentment ncluded at farest prces. T. L. COMBS & CO. 520 Douglas Street The Busy Jewelers +'''''' - -.n-..-'' _.._tll_.._.._.._.._.._ _.._.'-.'-..-.' '-'+ t '.-'..-.' :. Yale Glee, Banjo, and Mandoln Club Assocaton! l Brandes Season of96-97 CONCERT -AT- Theatre, Saturday Evenng.. December 30, 96, Specal Rate of 50 Cents to Hgh School Students Tckets on Sale after December 22nd at Brandes Theatre, Fnntenelle Hotel, Beaton Drug Co.... 5th and Farnam +'-.'_.' '.~..-'.-' D_.'_.._"_.._"-.._' _ J. J ' Vol. XXX OMAHA, NEB., DECEMBER, 96 CLEAN ATHLETCS OR AN NVNCBLE TEAM. Number 4 Chrstmas sprt! Chrstmas sprt! What s t? Why t s some mysterous, unexplanable, yet altogether joyous feelng whch rses from the very bottom of your heart, creeps through your entre beng, fnds expresson n the gvng of gfts, and makes true the old adage that "t s more blessed to gve than to receve.'" Does t n realty exst? Some people say not. Others say, "Yes." There are two phases to Chrstmas sprt-the sprt of gvng and the sprt of recevng. Certanly the true sprt of gvng s not n the man who gves from a sense of duty or from expectaton of recevng a present n return! Certanly the true sprt of recevng s not n the woman who crtcses severely a present from a frend, and then, on meetng the frend later, declares t "the most charmng creaton magnable!" These thngs are what make Chrstmas gvng a farce and convnce some people that there s no Chrstmas sprt. Why can't all of us gve wth true feelng? f the feelng s not n us, let us not gve. Why can't all of us accept gfts n the sprt n whch most of them are gven? Why do. some of us look on them n a mercenary way wth a keen eye as to ther materal value? But to say there s no Chrstmas sprt-that s gong too far. Can't we say that those who gve to mssons wth no antcpaton or expectaton of materal recompense have the true sprt of gvng? Can't we say that those n the mssons who receve the gfts and do not complan because they are not as fne as they mght be have the true sprt of recevng?. thnk we can, and thnk we can say that. those who beleve there s no Chrstmas sprt are absolutely,. postvely wrong! But we cannot say that t exsts unversally. Let us effect a compromse and say, that t exsts to a certan degree-a degree whch wll grow lesser or greater as the years pass by. And you, each and everyone of you, all of you, wll have somethng to say and some part to play n turnng the tde one way or the other. WARREN A. ECE. t s wth great humlty that we begn the report of the bggest and best celebraton we have seen ths year. Mere Englsh words are nsuffcent to express the joyous, overflowng sprt of loyalty that- was shown to a team vctorous not only n scores but vctorous n a far greater thng, n upholdng n every game the golden rule of football. Perhaps you don't know that rule, but know t now and forever. t suplay clean. n The team has won every game and not once have they been penalzed for drty work. s ths due to the coach? A good deal of t s, but as Shakespeare or someone sad, "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make hm drnk." We beleve and we always wll beleve that t was

5 6 THE REGSTER THE REGSTER 7 the clean sprt of a clean team that b'rought old O. H. S. the clean record she made, and wth t the champonshp not only of the_ state, but of the Mssour Valley as well. And wth ths much sad n honor of the team we are nclned to beleve that we have mentoned only a small part of what should be sad. "They came, they saw, and they conquered," physcally, mentally and morally, and the object of the supper at the Y. M. C. A. on the evenng of Frday, December st, was to show, f such was possble, how much the boys of the school apprecated the fne record of the team. Coach Mullgan was frst to speak and he told how hard the team had worked and how much they had borne to wn ther vctores. He spoke of the pleasure of coachng such a team and then by a resoundng yell the'enthusastc crowd showed Mullgan how much they apprecated ownng such a coach. Next came Morearty" and such a speech as he made! We are nclned to place t alongsde Lncoln's speech at Gettysburg. He thanked the team, the fellows and the coach for the help they had been, spoke al~ost reverently of hs last game of football wth the O. H. S. and sat down. The crowd hestated before the 'yell of the evenng broke forth. And n that yell we could read love for the captan, loyalty to the team, and earnest prase for the good record that was clean on both sdes. Mr. Masters was gven the floor and hs speech re-echoed the thoughts of. the faculty. He sad he had never seen a team n whom mprovement, especally n team work, had advan.ced so rapdly. Our old frend,' Floyd Paynter, was next on the program. Hs speech was short and sweet and worth ts weght n gold. He prased the words of Mr. Mullgan, and as a representatve of hs team prased the work of Morearty as a captan, as a halfback, and as a teammate., He sad the team surely apprecated havng two such fne men to,lead them to vctory.. n the meantme Herb Reese, the Lncoln coach, and Bran, the captan of the Lncoln team, had endeavored to slp nto back seats. But someone saw them 'and a yell was gven for Reese and for Lncoln that truly showed the fne sprt exstng between the two schools. Reese then made a short speech n whch he gave all the credt for the fne football showng of Omaha to the sprt exhbted by the school. He sad.he thought there was only one team n the Mssour Valley that Omaha nght have reason to fear. (We wonder f he meant Lncoln.) He prased' hghly the coach whose place at Lncoln he had taken. We agreed wth all he sad except the part about fearng Lncoln. But let us wat and see. Coach lvllls, our old standby, a worshper of Omaha Hgh School football teams, made a speech that wll never be forgotten. He sad that Mullgan had succeeded n dong what he had tred so hard to acocmplsh all the tme he was wth us, namely, puttng out a team that could n'ot be beat. He too gave the credt of vctory to the' loyalty of the student body and emphatcally stated that any, boy who would go out for football every year for four years and would work, could not possbly" fal.' As',an example he used our old frend, Daddy Beard. He surely prased the team and remnded us that as long as Tommy Mlls lves n Omaha the team wll always have' at least one ardent suppo~ter. And so t ended. And can we say too much n prase of those who worked and worked wthout recognton that O. H. S. football mght be placed where t s today, and n prase of the players who have shown to the world a clean, vctorous team one hundred per cent man. THE HUMDOSTAT SYSTltM. Although the day of Thanksgvng has recently passed wth ts share of thankful prayers from each one of us, yet doubt not that there were.a great many of us who forgot to be thankful for one thng for whch we should have been thankful. Perhaps a great many of our students were not ungrateful, but smply unaware of the blessng that they were recevng. What s ths blessng am talkng about? Well, n Cl: v'ery short explanaton, t s "wet ar." Why were our rectaton and study rooms always so uncomfortable n the wnter tme? Why were our lps parched? Why dd we have heada~hes? Smply the lack of mosture n the ar whch we were compelled to breathe. The ar n the Sahara desert, accordng to scentsts who have vsted that regon, has by test shown that t contans usually about 28 per cent of the mosture whch t mght contan f t were fully suppled. Smlar.tests of the ar n the Central Hgh School have shown n tmes past, that t contaned only 5' per cent of the mosture t mght contan f saturated. We had the Sahara beat n dryness' just a lttle bt. But now, thanks to the Board of Educaton, by the help of two very able engneers, Mr. A. C. Anderson and Mr. Charles A. Bennett of ths cty, our desert atmosphere has been turned nto a very comfortably humd one by the nstallaton of the Johnson Servce Company's humdostat system,. The man ptrpose of ths apparatus, as has been sad, s to mx mosture wth the ar. To accomplsh ths purpose about sx densely perforated, asbestoswrapped~ three-nch ppes about sx feet long are located n the fan rooms of our present ventlatng system. Out of these ppes 'streams of steam are thrown.. Ths steam s drawn drectly nto the fan and sent crculatng through the buldng wth the rest of the ar. The regulatng devce of ths system s called the humdostat. There are four of these nstruments on the frst floor n rooms n whch the humdty of that part qf the buldng may be farly estmated..each?ne,s e9upped wtl: a very small cylnder of wood whch absorbs the molsture 0 the.alf very readly. When ths cylnder absorbs an amount of mosture whch regsters.50 per cent relatve humdty, t has expanded suffcently to sprng a trap whch closes the supply of steam untl the. ar agan becomes less humd. n the offce a barometer whch regsters the relatve humdty of the ar s placed. Ths s composed. of two' thermometers, a wet bulb thermometer and a dry bulb thermometer, havll;g between them a chart from whch the relatve humdty may be read. An ndex hand s placed at the exe;tctpont at,w.hch. th~ mer~ury of. et~er thermome~er stands. Ths hand s then moved unbl t comcldes Wth a pomt 0 any other hne on the graph. The extenson hand of ths ndex then regsters the relatve humd,ty n the ar on a scc!-le at the bottom of the baseboard of th~ barometer. Th~se readngs are taken n order to know whether or not the humldostats are workmg rght. n addton to the new ar condtonng, mprovements are beng made n the audtorum by nstallng large syphon ventlators above the stage. These ventlators wll help to keep the audtorum free from foul ar. They are operated by compressed ar n openng and closng. n concl~son, the consultng engneers of the Board of Educaton are wor~ng toward further mprovements n certan 'rooms... Realzng the close relaton between physcal ftness and mental' power, we close wth the slogan: Better ar, better grades. CLYDE QUVEY.

6 8 THE REGSTER THE REGSTER 9 BLUFFNG-WHAT S T? Now don't try to look nnocent! You know perfectly well that you know what bluffng s. Of course, f you're a Freshman you may not know much about t, but f you're a Sophomore or Junor you do. f you're a Senor? Hold on there! That's entrely too personal a matter. Now, 'm not gong to tell you how to bluff. 've done t once; and, anyway, you probably know how. Ths s merely an attempt to explan just what consttutes bluffng. f you clam that you don't bluff, read ths-and then you'll keep' stll. Oh, by the way, teachers are requested not to read ths. They know t anyway, but f there should be somethng they've overlooked, don't want to brng t to ther attenton. All rght, here goes. t's bluffng to hold your hand about half way up. f the teacher calls on you, why, you ddn't have your hand up. Otherwse, you get the credt for hav,ng volunteered. t's bluffng to say you have all your problems when you have only part. Some people call t a worse name, but you'd better not. Remember, people who lve n glass houses shouldn't throw stones. t's bluffng to msunderstand the queston and talk about somethng else. Ever'try t? thought so. Works fne sometmes, doesn't t? t's bluffng to copy off someone else's paper n a test. Wat a mnute, now. Don't crtcse. Remember, "Bluffng s tryng to make people (and teachers) thnk you know more about your lessons, and study harder, than you really do." t's bluffng to add a + to that C on your report card. Refer to defnton f you don't beleve that statement. t's bluffng to msunderstand the queston the frst tme t's asked. Gves you tme to collect your thoughts..ever fnd that necessary? t's bl~ffng to label your books, "Open all nght" or "We never close." Dd you ever notce that the people who do that aren't the ones who show up the best n class? (Notce sad "show up," not "show off.") t's bluffng (rather transparent, though) to say, " took the wrong book home," " lost my assgnment," " know, but don't know how to ~ay t," or " learned t, but forgot t." Of 'course, you never use those expressons. Yes, understand perfectly. t's bluffng to guess at an answer. Oh, know everyone does t. Of course, you're very lable to get caught, but don't let that dscourage you. t's bluffng to pretend you're lookng at your book when you're really watchng to see f he s gong to answer your note. t's bluffng to say you've spent forty-fve mnutes on a lesson when ffteen mnutes was spent n wrtng notes, ffteen n readng notes, fve n lookng to see f the teacher's caught you, and the remander on the lesson. Do hear you remark that 've spent a lot of tme n sayng nothng? Well, sn't that what bluffng s? MARGARET MCWLLAMS. LFE'S TRAGEDES Thngs an't dvded rght, 'by gum! Some loaf whle others tol; Some folks get all the sweets and some, Get all the caster ol! SOME FORTUNE For wealth he does not pray For fortunes smle he doesn't beg; He knows of comfort that's on the way One of hs chckens has lad an egg! l\y LAST CHRSTMAS TREE.. had come to the quttng place. had qut my' dolls, frst of all; then my p~ture-books, and la~t the gra~e schools.. had qut my short dresses, and my har no longer hung n two brads down my back. nstead, t was wound n an awe-nsprng coronet about my head. To Grandpa t was almost as f, myself, had qut, for, comng home from hgh school every evenng wth an armload of booksvery tghtly ted n a long book strap, was a stranger to hm. Mother dd not seem to mnd the change, however. n fact Mothe'r was almost nclned to hasten rather than retard t. t was her decree, for nstance, that had banshed the old doll famly to the attc, where thev remaned n a state so lke deserton as to trouble my conscence. And now, wth Chrstmas drawng near, t was Mother who frst suggested that, perhaps, snce was n hgh school, a tree. was not really necessary- was gettng pretty old, wasn't, to be havng a Chnstmas tree? dslked the thought., had never dreamed that the trees for Chrstmas, whch stretched n a straght lne back as far- as could remember, would not also stretch n a straght lne forward as far as could go. But Mother went on to tell the famly how troublesome Chrstmas trees were, anyway; what a lot of fuss they made, wth needles fallng everywhere; how dangerous they were wth candles, whle lght bulbs were too extravagant for just one lttle grl already n hgh school; and other surprsng facts qute new and dsquetng'to me. Daddy seemed surprsed, also, but he admtted that Mother was probably rght about the Chrstmas tree. She knew better than anybody else how much trouble. t was, and f really ddn't need t, why, all rght! Brother Charles and Aunt Lllan ddn't seem much concerned. Brother Charles tho~ght that Chrstmas trees were "jolly fun," but, beng a boy and all ready for college, hs dgnty dd not allow hm to be very enthusastc. Aunt Lllan remarked that the parlor would at least be ft to entertan n, and that was all she seemed to care about t. Nobody looked at me except Grandpa. He was evdently watchng the surprse and dsmay on my face deepenng nto gloom. Fnally, when the gloom was growng very gloomy ndeed, he broke n wth hs mld voce, "Well, now, maybe t s tme to stop. But f we are not gong to have any Chrstmas tree after ths year, let's have a bgger one than ever for the last. We can't let a Chrstmas custom de wthout an approprate farewell. Let's have a wonderful last Chrstmas tree!" Brother Charles took to the dea wth vgor. "Yes, the last Chrstmas tree! That's a brght dea. We mght trm t wth crepe nstead of popcorn," he chuckled. Mother dd not lke the dea; she had not ntended to have any last one ths year-last year had been the end. But Daddy caught sght of my saddened face, and decded at once that we must have one more just to console me a lttle. dd not feel much consoled. Some ways looked at t, havng one more was rec!-lly worse than stoppng just where thngs were. But Grandpa went about the preparatons enthusastcally, and everybody caught some of hs ardor. Brother Charles mourned when the crepe was unanmously done away wth, but he was consoled by beng allowed to lay wreaths of holly n postons at the base of the tree. Two days before Chrstmas Uncle Jmmy, Daddy's younger brother, came home from college. He brought a college chum along, a fellow who had no home; and had never had a Chrstmas tree. Uncle Jmmy sad he brought hm just to show hm hs nece, a grl who had never mssed a tree. You can guess t made

7 0 THE REGSTER my upper lp tremble a lttle when Uncle Jmmy sad that. Thereupon Mother put n hastly that t was to be my last.. Everybody worked hard gettng ready for the last tree. "t's the end' of eatng candy out of mosquto-bar stockngs," Grandpa sad; "we'll never have stockngs, you know, after we qut havng a free." Or, upon openng a box of candles, he would remark, "What a lot of candle stumps! suppose we won't save tpe ones we have left over ths year." And- when a fragle, brttle ornament. fell suddenly from somebody's fngers, "Never.. mnd," Grandpa would remnd them all, "t's the last year we should have used t, anyhow." As had always been the custom, we lghted' the' tree for the frst tme the nght before Chrstmas. "How good t smells!" murmured, snuffng just as had always done n the days even when they dd not let me help trm the tree and the snuffng had to be done through the keyhole. Then Brother Charle told how funny used to be, dancng n front of the closed door, and fallng down to smell at the crack, and then dancng agan, sayng, "Oh, Daddy, t's a tree! know t's a tree! t smells, Daddy; t smells!" And how funny looked when 'Daddy solemnly announced that he could not smell anythng ~t all. Then everybody looked at the ornaments, as they all had done a great many Chrstmas eves. Uncle Jmmy brought a stool n' order that he could clmb up and show the college chum that funny rendeer, just the shape of a rhnoceros, that had been the chef admraton of hs younger' years. And Daddy had to pont out.the angel they had bought when Chrstmas trees were new to me, just because he fanced that ts blue-volet eyes and lttle red mouth looked lke mne. t had the place of honor on every tree, ths toy angel. Then Aunt Lllan, who had undertaken, apparently, some responsblty for seeng that Uncle Jmmy's frend ddn't mss anythng, took hm around to the other sde of th~ tree to show hm the up~to-date artcles of adornment-a tny drgble and group of tnsel flyng machnes, both Wrght and Curts models. The college chum had talked about gong to the avaton meet at Chcago, on hs way back to college, and was therefore nterested n flyng machnes. He must have been, too, for he stayed on that sde of the tree and talked for a very long tme. Neghbors from both sdes s.topped n to see the tree. They knew there would be one at my house, they sad, and t always made Chrstmas seem more Chrstmassy f you could go somewhere the nght before and, see a tre~. They prased ths one as the, most, J:>eau~~ul one n.my long career of trees, and my face grew pnk wth prde and exctement. -, Fnally everybody was gone except just the famly. Then the candles were blown out slowly, wth a great deal of puffng and laughng. The hghest ones were left for me; and here Mother told how used t<? blow very hard wthout beng able to make them go out, and once really lost my temper at the candles, sayng n hgh treble, "Bad 'ght-bad 'ght. Wggle an' wggle, an den tum back." All the lghts were out and the room was dark except for the gleams from the bg log n the grate. ', Everybody went away and came back presently wth armfuls of mysterous packages wrapped n many and vared shapes. They put them all around on the floor and n the branches, whle Brother Charles, who had always enjoyed ths part best as a lttle boy, felt. them all, one after the other, and sad, "Ten cents t's a neckte. Oh, know t s. Feels lke a doll 'baby. Who gets a doll baby n ths bunch? That's soft-some slly grl's fxngs, suppose. Another book wonder who t's for. No, Mother, ddn't ether look at the name, honest... THE REGSTER r~j,~n! Oh, here's ',:hat r want, 'll bet a cooky! Now, f that's not for me, r ~and so on, unttl ~other had to pull hm away and resolutely refused to let hm put ~ dollar aganst Uncle Jmmy's money that the bggest package of all came to hm. Grandpa watcbed everybody wth hs kndly ndulgent smle, not lettng us know how he really felt.. "Tme for be?, everybody. Are you people ntendng to stay up all nght?" sad Mother, comng nearer the tree... "t's the last tree we're gong to have," repled Grandpa, gently. "Perhaps, Snce we'll never do t agan, we mght stay up just a lttle longer ths tme. r haven't felt of the presents," and then Grandpa pcked up slowly a heavy-lookng package near the foot of the tree, weghed t n hs hand, and remarked n feeble tones, tryng to be comcal, "t's ether dynamte or an ax-head." From one to the other he passed slowly and solemnly; but, at the tme, all of us gathered there thought only of how comcal he was tryng to appear and not of how, as we afterward knew, he felt.., At last, however, we all retred very quckly, and n a short tme the whole. house was as' quet as f nothng had happened all evenng. But t remaned n peaceful slence only a few hours. Just as the December dawn was breakng the front stars' began to creak, and somethng n slppers came softly down. t was followed soon by a fgure n a gray slk kmono, that rubbed ts eyes as t came. r was very much surprsed to fnd Daddy there a head of me. Beng the frst one down to see th~ Chrstmas tree had been for years one of my nalenable prvleges. r looked at Daddy n amazement and just then Mother and Brother Charles arrved almost smulta~eously. Aunt Lllan and the college chum ap- 'peare.d at abo?~ the same tme, and Uncle Jmmy was there soon afterward, yawnmg prodgously. Everybody looked curously at the,presents. Brother Charles started to feel of them agan, but Mother stopped hm. Usually Grandpa was ~o slow n comng down to dstrbute the thngs, but-why, ths Chrstmas mornmg he must have overslept! t dd seem as f he would never come.. At last Mother went up to hs room. How long she wa!? away! All ths ~aste of tme! consdered unnecessary; and yet to keep one's hands clasped tght m self-represson, and to keep one's urgent voce from beng rased n a wal of protest taxed my heroc patence almost to the pont of despar. But at last Mother came wth a changed expresson upon her face. She told father to call for Dr. Hall and told me to run up to Grandpa's room. r went to hs room, and saw hs head lyng on the 'pllow and hs eyes wanderng around the room. He was callng my name. r went to hs sde 'and he began tellng m~ of hs last Chrstmas tree, but before he fnshed, the doctor had come. He told me to leave the room. r was now so excted that t stumbled down the starway n a sort of. deluson, hardly conscous of. anythng untl the doctor took hold of my arm aj.d,sad gently, "He has gone to the 'Land of Eternal Rest.' ", Never after dd a Chrstmas tree adorn our lvng-room on' Chrstmas Day or the nght before, for 't now served merely to brng back the sorrowful event of that Chrstmas when the dea of abolshng or of not abolshng the long chershed pece of adornment was uppermost n our mnds. ANNA STR:eTZ. -"What s an optmst?" "An optmst s a cross-eyed man who s thankful that he sn't bowlegged.". Husband (frantc)-magge! Magge! Don't use that flat. ron to pound nals wth! Use your head woman! Use your head!

8 2 THE REGSTER THE REGSTER 3 N MEMORAM Wth deep sorrow the Regster records the passng of Margaret Kennedy Brome, Edtor-n-Chef for Graduatng from the hgh school n 907, she spent the next two years n Welesle~ College. After a year n the hgh school as regstrar she marred Mr. Charles Brome of 905. Ther home has been n Worland, Wyomng, where Mr. Brome wth ther four lttle ones stll resd~s. Her teachers love to,recall her. as a beautful, rosy-cheeked grl,characterzed by an aboundng vtalty whch found expresson n the varous actvtes of school lfe. She was a born leader. n class room, n lterary socety, as edtor of the Regster, she showed the same hgh qualtes of leadershp. t s seldom that a hgh school pupl has made so deep and so lastng an mpresson upon her teachers and comrades. Her lfe was at hgh noon when the summons came. n behalf of the Faculty and pupls we extend to her relatves and frends our heartfelt sympathy. TRUTH Truth cannot be forced on one, And forced truth s no more truth Than s affected cheer or age- A sgn of bloomng youth. But Truth must flow lke honeystreams, And gently steal nto one's heart As dawns the lght of breakng day And softly drves the dark apart. And oft 'ts nature that reveals To one, the truth n beauty's drape; And oft the sght of noble deeds Makes truth appear n duty's shape. But stll more oft t s one's heart That feels the truth wherever found, (And passng safely by the false) Alghts on Truth wth joyful bound. -Abe Sweet. CHRSTMAS SPRT What s t, ths sprt so valantly sung, Ths cnallenge so trppngly dropped from the tongue, Ths saucy, sweet cherub whose wonderful mght Makes darked days sunny, and heavy hearts lght? Dd t float on a snowflake to gve to ths earth Of ts happy good wll, of ts plenteous mrth? s t lke Hgh School sprt, a jublant elf, Who cuts" up great capers, and s proud of tself? \ Does the "Sprt of Chrstmas" wth love as ts am, And the gay "Chrstmas Sprt" mean always the same? M. E. S., '8. ). JrHE CC(Q) JLJLECCJrll(Q) N ~ BY MSS TOWNE'S CLASSES THE FATHER'S CALL. Me thnks hear a far off voce, beggng me to rse, t seems to ssue from beneath n darkness where t les; Sad the sound, mournful the tone, that scarce has any strength, t sounds as f cruelsufferng has brought t out at length. Yes, t s the long known call, oh, centures old, t s the Jew beneath the rock that holds hm fast and bold; Stflng s that cry that comes and calls to me to harken, :Mournfully t tells me now, the words that make me waken. Chld, do you forget the past, do you forget your father? Do you not know your ancent home, Palestne, your mother? Know you not on Mount Sna, you took that vow forever? Dear to hold and bless our God, our good' and heavenly Father. E.K. TH.E DRUD ALTAR..n a seemngly enchanted spot n the great Rocky Mountans found my Drmd Altar. t was of hard flnty rock that glttered n the sunlght. No altar ever stood frmer than that one, for around t the great brother rocks were packed so tghtly that t was mmovable. For many centures t had stood so. have never yet found who presded n my green church, but the congregaton, thnk, were the squrrels and the trees. The de'coratons were not placed n vases, but grew out of the great gray stone. The musc was furnshed by the murmurng brook, the brds were the chor. n the daytme the sun gave lght, by nght the frefles held ther lanterns hgh over the altar. Before ths ancent stone there came a day of awakenng. The mnd of a chld could thnk of nothng but summer n ths fary spot. Lfe grew nto a thng of hgh deals and glorous hopes. One cheerless, wnter day when came to my church, my Drud Altar had dsappeared under the all-covet;ng snow. A. B. TWLGHT N ACADE. Slowly and slently the summer day s dyng. The peace of evenng s stealng over Acade. The tall sentnel pnes, guardng the entrance to the valley, are castng ther long, purple shadows toward the east. The bay les lke a great mrror reflectng the last glow of the sunset. Somewhere n the treetops a brd s softly warblng hs good nght song. The sheep str restlessly on the hllsde,' then snk to rest at nght's command. Up the lane the ploughman leads hs weary horses to water and to rest. The poppes nod drowsly n the lazy western breeze. The wld flowers and hay fll the ar wth a sweet evasve perfume, mngled wth an occasonal breath from the forest, so pney and fragrant. The mlkmad sngs as she scours the pans and hangs them up n a shnng array. When her task s <!.one, she steals softly down to a rustc arbor, where her swan awats her. Thro'ugh the enfoldng darkness the Angelus tolls from far and near, softly and clearly. Then no sound s heard from brd or beast. A. B.

9 4 THE REGSTER THE REGSTER 5 "THE PATHOS OF DSTANCE." 'Twas Saturday eve at the Bachelors' Club, And all was warmth and-cheer, Ther wne they'd drunk, 't"ejr.4 bles/ they'd told, There were no more to hear; They'd spent the week n dfferent ways, And now, assembled there, They settled down n heavenly ease, Forgot ther worres and care. 'Round each brght fre there was a group Whose thoughts had sped away, On wngs of tme they'd flown once more To homes of yesterday; To east, to west, to north, to south, Across the ocean wde, To mothers, fathers, sweethearts, too, For t was Chrstmastde. They'd come from every land and clme, Ther homes were far apart; Success had come to each of them Yet sad they were n' h~art ;, Suppose we take them, one by one, Around that blazng.fre, But no, ther mnds we cannot read, Ther thoughts we'll not nqure. We thnk they thought of happy days Spent along wndng streams, Of haunted caves explored wth fear, Pr,ates wth terrble.mens;... We know they thought of trcks they'd. played On some old "crabs" and "cranks" Of Aprl frsts and Fourths of July,' Of darng Hallowe'en pranks. We know they thought of deeds undone, nnumerable mght-have-beens, Of btter trals and knock-out blows All whch they'd borne wth grns'; We know they saw n the rngs of smoke Ther sweethearts loved of yore, As they sat there lost n reveres Dreams and nothng more. MEDTATONS OF A MODERN SHYLOCK. (Apologes to Shakespeare.) Oh, you Trg book, many a tme and oft n my study you have' baffled me And mocked my jumbled mass of fgures, too; Stll have borne t wth a fevered brow, For seventh hours are the dread of a students' prde. You made me lose my patence and sometmes swear, And mss my daly seat n a "move" show, ' And all for the untruths whch are n your answers. Well, then, t now appears that we must part: Go to, then; say, "Farewell," and you reply" ' "My boy, have done you good;" yoq say so; You, that dd keep me from the joys of lfe, From football games, from "swell" club dances, from joy rdes,' From all these; Good for me, you say. What should say to you? Should not say, s gloom pleasure? s t possble..such tol could brng about enjoyment? Or Shall bend low and n a bondman's key, Wth bated breath and whsperng humbleness, Say ths:', Good Trg, you - kept me home on Wednesday last;, You flunked me such a day; another tme You made me swear; and for' these' benefts 'll call you my benefactor? -W. B.' Of all glad words That' now are roared; The gladdest are these: "He works for Ford." MLTARY. Lookng over the Regment, we fnd t dong fne for ths tme of year. Many new systems have been tred and they seem to be brngng results. At the Regmental Parade held a short tme ago the men dstngushed themselves by ther accuracy. The company drlls are also comng along :fne and the men are prepared for the regular monthly nspectons. We feel qute proud snce we saw n the newspaper that a school n Texas has patterned an organzaton after our Regment. '. We feel that the efforts whch were made to mpress upon the boys that drll s -a part of school work, are responsble for ths. - We receved the new company medals' a short' tme ago and were well pleased wth them. They are all of the same style and are dstngushed from one another,by havng the company letter engraved upon them. A few vacances have been flled as follows: ' From Captan Company H to Major Thrd Battalon, Wllam Boyer; from Captan Company B to Captan Company H, Charles Morar.;, ty; from Frst Leutenant CompanyB to Captan Company B, Sdney Robnson; from Second Leutenant Company A, to Frst. Leutenant Company B, Hlbert Peterson; from Prvate Company A to Second Leutenant Company A, Donald Lyle; from Prvate Company A to Corporal. Company A, Rolland Spangler; from Prvate Company D to Corporal Company G, Rolland Jefferson. These appontments about fll the va':' cances and we can settle down to the grnd we have before us, stll havng the dea of a "Banner Regment." SOUX CTY-OMAHA DEBATE Shall the Monroe Doctrne be abandoned? On the evenng of Tuesday, December 2, a team from Soux Cty came to Omaha to uphold the doctrne ' whle our boys tore t to peces. A team from Omaha went to Soux Cty to uphold the doctrne and the Soux Cty'boys tore t to peces. Soux Cty was represented here by Mss Rose Pll, George Berqust, and Edward Pll, whle Omaha was represented by Herluf Olson, Lous Freberg, and Sol Rosenblatt. We won at home by a. three to nothng decson but lost at,,soux Cty by two to one. So,'you see, we were gven four out of sx decsons. Both teams showed the result of steady work and each team reflected credt on ts school. The stars were hard to pck, but we cannot blame Soux Cty for fallng before the steam roller argument put up by Olson, before the cuttng sarcasm of Freberg, and before the sprted attack of Sol Rosenblatt. At Soux Cty we were represented by Earl. Lowe, Ralph Kharas,. and Max Konceky. They deserve a lot of credt

10 6 THE REGSTER THE REGSTER 7 for the good fght they put up at Soux Cty. We frmly beleve that we have some debatng team. THE JONT PROGRAM. The frst jont program of the year, gven n tbe audtorum December 8, was a great success._ The Frances Wllard Socety was well represented by Mldred Snnett, who gave a pano solo, and by Mldred Othmer, whose clever mpersonatons of country school chldren were enthusastcally encored. Harold Pearson, representng the A. D. S., gave a humorous renderng of "Maude Muller," n dalect, and responded to a second encore wth an amusng verson, also n dalect, of "The Courtshp of Mles Standsh." A debate as to whether or not the Monroe Doctrne should be abandoned followed. Both sdes were ably defended, t~ough no decson was made. Probably the most novel feature of the program was the, number gven by the Ukulele Club of the Elane Socety,. whch was enthusastcally receved by the audence. A rectaton by Ruth Mller completed the socety's part of the program. A deservedly popular number was the "Chalk Talk" gven by Margaret Brdges of the Art Socety, to the accompanment of approprate musc. The last number was gven by the Laurel Debatng Grls, and was the frst publc appearance of ths, our youngest organzaton. n a sprted debate as to whether or not credt should be gven for work n lterary socetes, the grls proved that grls can debate, and when they have had a lttle more experence, the boys wll have to look to ther laurels. LTERARY SOCETES. The Shakespeare Club, a new or-. ganzaton n the school, was successfully launched on Tuesday, November 2. Mss Towne s dr~ctng the affars of the organzaton, the ams of whch are the readng, general acquantance and occasonal presentaton of Shakespeare's plays. Meetngs are held on the frst and thrd Tuesdays of each month n Room 9. The offcers are as follows: Presdent, Frank Campbell; secretary, Owen Comp; reporter, Sydney Robnson. Membershp s open to all students takng eleventh or twelfth grade Englsh. The Shakespeare Club met on December 5 and agan on December 9. The man feature of the last meetng was the presentaton of the duel epsode from "Twelfth Nght." Shakespearean scenery and effects made ths a great success. The Margaret Fuller Socety was entertaned at the home of the presdent, Helen Wahl, November 29. After a very nterestng program, the grls enjoyed a socal hour and delcous refreshments were served. The socety decded to dress dolls for the Cty Msson for ts Chrstmas work. ~ A unque and entertanng program on nda was gven at the last meetng of the Lnnger Travel Club. Ths s the thrd of an nterestng seres of programs on the Orental natons. The Hawthorne Socety enjoyed a splendd muscal program at ts last meetng. The Art Socety has taken up craftwork ths year, and as a result a great many beautful lttle Chrstmas gfts have already been made.. The Brownng Socety gave a delghtful Thanksgvng program N0 vember 29. The grls are stll sewng the comfort bags and expect to have them fnshed by the next meetng. After ts Thanksgvng program, the. Prsclla Alden Socety held a spread n the lunch. rooll). The football squad fnshed practcng n tme.to sample the dantes, whch they seemed to enjoy very much. The Lamron Socety gave a delghtful Thanksgvng program November 29. Mr. Woolery told an nterestng story of hs college days. At the close of the program, Purtan madens served appr9prate refreshments, consstng of pumpkn pe and apples. The L. D. S. met on Wednesday, November 29. A large number 'was present. The program conssted of a voln quartette by L. D. S. members. A Thanksgvng sermon was delvered by W. Cotten. A very ntel"estng talk wals gven by Mr. Rees. Humorous stores and Parlamentary law practce concluded the program. The D. D. S. held ts last meetng on November 29, n Room 220. Consderng that t was the last day before the Thanksgvng vacaton, the attendance was unusually large. A short busness meetng was held and desgns of pns for the socety were shown to the members. Later a vote was taken whch resulted n the selecton of a nfty pn for the socety. Ex-Presdent Elmore Baley then gave a short but very encouragng and benefcal talk to the socety. Regnald Fernald presented the socety wth an nterestng talk on the orgn and hstory of Thanksgvng, also desc'rbng the frst Thanksgvng ever held. J tllan Harrs then amused the debater~ wth a comcal rectaton about Thanksgvng. Fve of the sx debaters, who debated Soux Cty on Tuesday, December 2, are actve members of the D. D. S. A very nterestng meetng of the L. D. S. was held on November 7. Current events were gven by H. Haker. Sol Rosenblatt rected some orgnal poems, whch were very good. A hot dscusson on the Monroe Doctrne then arose b'etween Abe Lack and other members of the socety. Plans for a Thanksgvng program were lad out. SOPHOMORE CLASS MEETNG. A meetng of the Sophomore Class was held Tuesday, October 3" n Room 235. The purpose of the meetng was to elect representatves to the Student Councl and the commttee whch s to select a unform pn for the school. Snce the nomnatons of the teachers for representatves of the Sophomore Class to the Student Councl were not n, the electon of these representatves was postponed. The three sophomore pupls selected for the pn commttee were Jean Kennedy, Herbert Negee and Jean Burns. Walter Whte ted wth Jean Burns, but he lost the flp up. Mr. McMllan had charge of the meetng. EXCHANGES. On account of lack of tme and space, we have not been able to open up the exchange department before ths month. Whle we do not ntend to use a great deal of space each month for exchanges, we hope to keep your nterest n ths department. The only means of fndng out how to mprove our paper s by gettng new deas from other school papers, and ths s done by exchangng. We hope to have a good department ths year, and so far we have receved qute a number of nterestng exchanges. As we see them: The Oracle, North Hgh, Des Mones : Your paper s very well edted, but your jokes are rather scarce. The Totem, Alaska: You are to be congratulated on the excellent paper you put out. t was so nterestng that our lbraran asked us to put t n our lbrary. The Spe'Ctrum, Portland, Oregon: Your paper,s very complete. The Tatler, West Hgh, Des Mones: Splendd paper. Your athletcs show a fne school sprt and enthusasm. H'jrde Park Weekly, Chcago, ll.: An exceptonally good paper. Your paper s about the only weekly that we exchange wth. Your cuts and cartoons are fne. You must have some energetc busness manager. Cherry and Whte, Wllamsport, Pa. : An especally good paper. Your advertsng s fne. (Contnued on Page 24)

11 8 THE REGSTER Well, here am agan on the job. well, you know. And every ole seems Gee, 'll bet t's hard to dgest ths to want to know where the author got stuff, but then, just thnk what the ef- her knowledge of the aforesad-erfects must be on the poor guy that has er-thng. do' not know who dd to st back and assume the respons- wrte the artcle, but dd not, and blty.for t. Do you know that the know nothng of the materal thereof. greatest martyr that ths world has ever known was my good frend, Bll Do you realze that when Sherman Shakespeare. f you should chance defned war he really defned lots of not to beleve ths statement, just cas- thngs. Now, don't want to seem to ually glance over one of hs so-called be knockng the Latn department, comedes.. 'll just bet that the cause but-. of hs death was the wrtng of those - f anyone wants to get a good drll very-er-er-comedes. But do you sut at a reasonable prce, see me. thnk that there was any chance of have not worn t ths year: t s a last hs laughng to death? The nays have year's sut. t. He dd not. But f you wll read any of Bll's tragedes (s that the wcry you spell t) you wll see that Bll was there after all. For nstance, read "The Merry Wves of Wndsor" or "As You Lke t" or "The Comedy of Errors." And so, you set;, to return to my orgnal topc, do not :want to brag about my ablty; but they may have a bg celebraton over these very lnes n years to come. f they do, you can all say that-er-eranyway guess you all get the moral of ths lttle edtoral ths afternoon.. Now, do not know what the school as a whole thnks of havng the grls run The Regster, but wll say ths, that f they should do so agan, shall be forced to leave ths glorous nsttuton of, learnng and take to the wde world for the rest of my educaton. n other words, was held responsble for the stuff that appeared n ths column last month. Now, most of t was fne, but there was one lttle artcle concernng the descrpton of a k--; "BEFORE THE REPORT CARDS CAME OUT." Hope. "Hope sprngs eternal n the human breast" s a noted pece 0' rhyme. guess t's true, leastways 'll say, That hopes a frend o'mne. What helps you when your faln'? And yer grades a'gon down? ts just that lttle ray 0' hope that says, "You'll come aroun'." When flunk notes come a rolln' n, As many tmes they do, ' J est keep yer hope a hopn', and B'gosh,' she'll pull ye thru. "Buck." Lncoln sad that she dd not want a post season game unless we would concede ffty,per cent of the profts to her. Why ddn't she demand ffty per cen't of the total ponts of the score, too. AFTER REPORT CARDS CAME OUT. ((Hope" Reconsdered. wrote that bunch' of "hope" stuff, A day or so ago, - Beforew~. got our "card boards" And thngs looked brght, you knm~. But snce the lttle card boards, Have come nto the lght; 've changed my mnd entrely~ Ths "hope" stuff sn't rght. had hoped for "B's"and "A'~.;" And more f that could be; My teachers hadn't hoped so hgh, They all gave me a "D." o hope, you are consolng, We all do admt that; But t takes the facts, and cold ones To get you to the bat. Now next tme, 'll work harder And labor more 'ts true; Perhaps, when the results" come out wll not -feel so blu~. ((Buck." Remember that handsome s what hansoms charge. ' Flowers are begnnng to appear on the desks of our beloved teachers. Can solve the mystery? That one s easy. t just means that the fltnk cards are gong to appear n a day or two. By the way, how s myod frenc!, Dudley, gettng along over n ~ouncl Bluffs? Say, dd you all notce that trck plav that the coach used n the game wth St. Joe. f Hap Pearson ha? taken off hs head gear and thrown t to Harper, t would have.been the fnest bt of strategy that ths end of the country has ever seen. see that our deservng. frend, Bll Boyer, was promoted at the last. r~gmental. Bll probably got a majonty. THE REGSTER 9 The basket ball season has come at last. They are playng t n all of the.study halls,now. f you do not beleve me, just try to- throw some waste paper n your desk. Are we gong to have a vaudevlle show ths year? f they nsst on. havng the halls closed, why don't they use system? Now have a scheme that wll save the teachers all the trouble of polcng the halls. On the wall of each hall, there should be a tme clock. Every tme a student walks thru the hall, he should check n. f hs check appears more than once n the same clock, have hs head cut off and hs body hung n the South hall as an example. "BUCK'S QUESTON BOX." Q.-"Why does Phlbn try to mtate the hula hula, when he sngs at the mass lueetngs?" Ans.-"Dunno. You mght ask hm." Bzz-"Who s the world's most unhappy ctzen?" Mss Paxson-tThe one who s unoccuped." zz-what s charty? Bzz-Charty s the gvng away of the thngs that you do not.:want. A.-What s the eleventh' commandment? B.-"Do t now." Mss Snyder-What S a non-conductor? ' Pupl-A motorman. Thankng you one and all for your quet attenton and at the same tme wshng that you would retan the same qualty after you have read these few lttle remarks, reman, ({Buck."

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