CAPITAL BIBLE CHURCH April 26, Total Forgiveness How to Know We Have Totally Forgiven Genesis 45:1 15

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1 CAPITAL BIBLE CHURCH April 26, 2009 SERMON NOTES PASTOR BILL HAKEN Joseph and Total Forgiveness Total Forgiveness How to Know We Have Totally Forgiven Genesis 45:1 15 Genesis 45 is the account of Joseph revealing his identity to his brothers. Joseph provides for us a heart-searching frame of reference by showing us how and what he was able to forgive his brothers. Twenty-two years earlier Joseph s brothers had schemed to kill him because they were jealous of the attention he got from their father Jacob. (Tell story here of the coat of many colors and his dreams the brothers scheme to sell Joseph and fake his death. Genesis 37:32-35). In Egypt Joseph went to work for Potiphar, soon was in charge of the entire household. Potiphars wife tried to seduce him, and when she failed, she lied about him he went to prison. Illustrates 1 Peter 2: Thus began a lengthy preparation time for Joseph, because God had great plans for Joseph. Dr. Martin Lloyd-Jones said, The worst thing that can happen to a man is to succeed before he is ready. Now, if any one ever did, Joseph had a lot to be bitter about: his brothers treated him cruelly and wickedly, he was falsely accused by Potiphar s wife (he had actually refused the temptation), and to top it all off, he knew that God had allowed this all to happen. So he had much to be bitter about, and many offenders to forgive: his brothers, Potiphar s wife and God. Story of cupbearer and baker of Pharaoh he interpreted their dreams correctly, but then tried to use the cupbearer to get him out of prison. But while God wanted him out too, it was not yet God s time so the cupbearer forgot all about Joseph. You see, delays can be part of God s purpose, and unanswered prayers can be as much a part of God s will as answered prayers. You see, God knew Joseph had to be delivered from bitterness and self-pity. 1 Cor. 13:5 says also that love is not self-seeking. Joseph tried to promote himself he was full of self pity. He said is Genesis 40:15 I ve done nothing to deserve being put into a dungeon.

2 Self pity and self righteousness are twin sins that complement each other these are eclipsed when we begin to forgive totally and keep no record of wrongs. At this point in time Joseph had not yet forgiven his brothers, Potiphar s wife or God. See, Joseph had not forgotten his dreams; he knew that one day, for one reason or another his brothers would bow down before him. But when they did, he was a changed man, with no bitterness, no hard feelings, and no grudges. How do I know that? Listen to how he greets them, lovingly welcomes them with tears. What caused the change? Two more years went by in prison, and Pharaoh himself had two dreams none of his wise men could interpret them, and then the cupbearer heard about all the commotion and he remembered Joseph s accurate interpretation of his dream. He steps up and recommends Joseph to Pharaoh, and soon Joseph is in front of Pharaoh. God took him from the pit to the palace. Joseph interpreted the dreams, gave his analysis and advice and Pharaoh was so impressed that he made Joseph the Prime Minister of Egypt, right on the spot. Later, during the time of famine, whom do you suppose came begging for food? Joseph s brothers, and while he recognized them instantly, they did not know him. Why? He was 22 years older, in official Egyptian clothing, and talking through an Egyptian interpreter. It was the moment Joseph had dreamed of, but instead of punishing them, which he had the power to do, filled with love, he demonstrated total forgiveness. What lessons about total forgiveness can we learn from Joseph s example? How can we know when we have practiced total forgiveness? Joseph s Example Applied to Us 1. We will not let anyone know what someone said about us or did to us. Notice Gen. 45:1 Then Joseph could no longer control himself before all his attendants, and he cried out, Have everyone leave my presence! So there was no one with Joseph when he made himself known to his brothers. Why? Joseph wanted his whole family to come to Egypt, and he did not want any Egyptians to know how his brothers had mistreated him, because he was a hero in Egypt! He had saved the nation. If the people there learned what his brothers had done, they d have hated them. He wanted them to be heroes like he was. So, he not only did not tell anyone what they had done, he insured that they could not know! This is huge! But, it s how you and I are forgiven. Our sins are wiped out Acts 3:19.

3 Micah 3:19 You will cast all our sins Into the depths of the sea. Sing choruses: Gone, gone, gone, gone yes my sins are gone and In the sea of God s forgetfulness, that s good enough for me, praise God my sins are gone. God will not reveal what He knows about me, and about you. Imagine if your sins were listed up on that screen for everyone to see? So, why do we tell other people how somebody hurt us? Because we want people to think less of them we want to hurt them back! We want to punish them, and one huge weapon we have at our disposal is our tongue. Joseph is often considered a type of Christ, because in spite of his imperfections, he foreshadowed Jesus, especially in this area where he treated his brothers much like Jesus treated His own disciples. Remember what Jesus first words to them were after he rose from the grave? The last time he saw them, they were ashamed of him and cowering in fear. Now they are huddled in an upper room, sequestered behind a closed door. Jesus turned up unexpectedly and John 20:21 says His words were, Peace be with you. The disciples were totally forgiven, and they knew it. We all have skeletons in our closets; some are known to others, many are unknown. It is comforting to know that God freely and totally forgives all our sins and will never tell what he knows. That is how Joseph forgave, how Jesus forgave, and how we are urged to do so Ephesians 4: We will not let anyone be afraid of us or intimidated by us. vs. 2 And he wept so loudly that the Egyptians heard him, and Pharaoh s household heard about it. Joseph told his brothers who he was with tears and compassion. 3Joseph said to his brothers, I am Joseph! Is my father still living? But his brothers were not able to answer him, because they were terrified at his presence. Why were they afraid? Of course. They feared he might now try to get even, to punish them, take vengeance on them. 1 John 4:18 Perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment When we have bitterness in our hearts and an unforgiving spirit, we are happy to find out they are afraid of us, or uneasy around us. We feel like that s good, because they re just getting what they deserve. But this was not the pattern of Joseph s life. He was so powerful now in Egypt that he could have done whatever he wanted to them. He could at least have reminded them of his dreams, and say I told you so.

4 But that s not what he did; he said, Come close to me. He wanted their love, not their fear or admiration. Paul, in Romans 8:15 says that we have been adopted as sons so we can call Father God, Abba, Father, which means Daddy. He wants us to know his fatherly tenderness. Now this may be hard if you did not have a close relationship with your father, or had an abusive father, but God wants to be a perfect Father for you and me and feel totally accepted. This is how Jesus treated his disciples. When he met them in the upper room, he could have said, What s wrong with you guys? How come you abandoned me like that? But he did not. He picked up right where he left off and said, As the Father has sent me, so I am sending you. There is no fear in love, and when we have totally forgiven our offenders, we will not want them to be afraid either. 3. We will want them to forgive themselves and not feel guilty. Genesis 45:5 5And now, do not be distressed and do not be angry with yourselves for selling me here, because it was to save lives that God sent me ahead of you. Joseph was not about to send them on a guilt trip; he knew that they felt guilty enough from what happened in chapter 42. Genesis 42:21 They said to one another, Surely we are being punished because of our brother. We saw how distressed he was when he pleaded with us for his life, but we would not listen; that s why this distress has come upon us. Joseph wanted to set his brothers free. He did not want them to blame or be angry with themselves; he wanted them to forgive themselves. Forgiveness is worthless to us emotionally if we can t or won t forgive ourselves. And it s not total forgiveness unless we forgive ourselves as well as others. God knows this and that is why He wants us to forgive ourselves and accept His promise that all of our sins are under the blood of Christ and won t be brought up against us again. Joseph was trying to do what Jesus would do make it easier for his brothers to forgive themselves. To try to help ease their minds, Joseph gave an explanation for his suffering in the end of verse 5 to save lives. God does that with us as well and this is partly why He gave us Romans 8:28. God is saying Just wait and see how I will cause everything to work out for good. 4. We will let them save face.

5 This carries it a step further; Joseph makes a most magnanimous, gracious and liberating statement in verses 7 & 8. Genesis 45:7But God sent me ahead of you to preserve for you a remnant on earth and to save your lives by a great deliverance. 8 So then, it was not you who sent me here, but God. He made me father to Pharaoh, lord of his entire household and ruler of all Egypt. This is as good as it gets; when we can forgive like that we re there we have achieved total forgiveness. What exactly is saving face? Dale Carnegie uses it in his book How to Win Friends and Influence People. Saving face means preserving a person s dignity and self-esteem. Either enabling them to look good rather than bad, or hiding a person s error from others so they can t be embarrassed. You can make a friend for life by letting someone save face. It s probably an Oriental expression, because for them, the worst thing on earth is to lose face. Some have been known to commit suicide rather than lose face. Deep down though, all human beings are the same none of us wants it to happen. Joseph was basically saying, God told Abraham his descendants would live in a foreign land (Genesis 15:13) and somebody had to go first in order to preserve the people of God s promise to Abraham. So, Joseph did not condemn them for what they did; he had reached an understanding of their actions in the big picture of God s sovereignty. For someone who forgives from the heart, there is little self-righteousness. Two reasons we are able to forgive: We see what we ourselves have been forgiven of. We know what we are capable of. When we re indignant over someone else s wickedness, there is the very real possibility that we are either self-righteous or cannot be objective about ourselves. When we really see ourselves are we really are ( the heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked ) we ll understand that we re just as capable of sin as anyone else. There, but for the grace of God, go I will be our attitude. Joseph then was not just being polite, patronizing, or condescending. He had already forgiven his brothers during those two years in the dungeon while God worked on his heart. So, here he was speaking the truth he really did believe that God had sent him down to Egypt for a purpose, and God had meant it for good. He was grateful to God to see them and to be able to be involved in their lives once again this made all the pain, suffering, lies and accusations he had gone through worth it all.

6 Reminds us of Jesus words in John 16:21 A woman giving birth to a child has pain because her time has come; but when her baby is born she forgets the anguish because of her joy that a child is born into the world. 22 So with you: Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy. When we let people save face, we are doing what is right and just, not merely being magnanimous or gracious. 5. We will protect them from their greatest fear. When Joseph told them who he was, after they got over their fear that he was going to get even with them, what do you suppose their greatest fear then was? That they would have to return to Canaan and tell their father Jacob the truth of what they had done. How could they convince their father to move to Egypt and not tell him what they d done? Joseph had anticipated this problem, and was already a step ahead of them. He knew that his forgiveness of what they had done was utterly worthless to them, if they had to tell the whole truth to their father. Notice in vss how Joseph carefully instructs his brothers what to say to their father and his instructions are carefully worded of what to say and what not to say. Sin that is under the blood of our sovereign Redeemer does not need to be confessed to anyone but God. If you need to talk to a counselor for therapeutic purposes, fine, but there is no need to involve an innocent person by unloading information on them that they can easily live without. Instead, confess you sins to God. Psalm 51:4 Against you, you only have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight, so that you are proved right when you speak and justified when you judge. You might think that the brothers should have confessed their sin to their father. Not really. That would have Jacob an even greater problem having to struggle with the regrets of lost years with Joseph and with the resulting bitterness against his other sons. Joseph was wise, loving and fair, and it made his brothers respect him all the more. When I consider the fact that our Lord Jesus Christ knows all about my sin, but promises to keep what He has forgiven a carefully guarded secret it increases my gratitude to Him. God does not want us to fear that He will expose our sins to the world. And He does not blackmail us. When a person is guilty of blackmailing someone else, it gets God s attention; to hold them in fear by threatening I ll tell on you will quickly bring down the wrath of God. 6. We will make it a lifelong commitment.

7 This means you keep on doing it for as long as you live. It isn t enough to forgive today, and then return to the offense tomorrow. I heard of a person whose wife said, I thought you forgave me and he replied, that was yesterday. Total forgiveness is a life long commitment and you may have to practice it every single day of your life until you die. No one said it would be easy. Look at Joseph in Genesis 50, 17 years later after their father Jacob dies, the brothers all panic. They were afraid that his forgiveness would last only as long as their aged patriarch was alive. We can understand their fears, because Joseph was incredibly gracious to all of them. so they concoct a story. Gen. 50:15-17When Joseph s brothers saw that their father was dead, they said, What if Joseph holds a grudge against us and pays us back for all the wrongs we did to him? 16So they sent word to Joseph, saying, Your father left these instructions before he died: 17 This is what you are to say to Joseph: I ask you to forgive your brothers the sins and the wrongs they committed in treating you so badly. Now please forgive the sins of the servants of the God of your father. When their message came to him, Joseph wept. He wept because of their doubt, they did not believe him. They were afraid that as Prime Minister, he, one day, would use his power to take vengeance on them. 19 But Joseph said to them, Don t be afraid. Am I in the place of God? 20 You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. 21 So then, don t be afraid. I will provide for you and your children. And he reassured them and spoke kindly to them. He was prepared to care for his brothers and their families forever. I forgave you then and I forgive you now is what he was saying. If you are prepared to make a covenant to forgive, to forgive totally, you need to realize you will have to renew that tomorrow, and it may be harder then. In my own life, the temptation to return to bitterness can be very real. If I think about things people said, or dwell upon what someone did and review it I ll get all churned up inside and agitated. I have to make the conscious spiritual decision with my will to forgive and keep on forgiving and let it go not to think about it or dwell upon it. 7. We will pray for them to be blessed. This means praying for God s blessings to fall upon them. Matthew 5:44 But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you. You pray that they will be dealt with as you would want God to deal with you, that they would receive total forgiveness from God as you want for yourself.

8 Pray like this, John Calvin said, is exceedingly difficult. Chrysostom called it the very highest summit of self control. And yet Job s suffering did not stop until he prayed for those friends who had become his thorn in the flesh (Job 42:10). Greatest illustration to live in this manner is found in the life and death of Stephen. Read Acts 6:8 15 and consider the Holy Spirit s touch on his life, his enemies inability to contradict his wisdom and the miracles he did, along with his radiant countenance. His secret for all of this emerged at the very end of his life. While his enemies threw stones at him, he prayed, seconds before his last breath, Lord, do not hold this sin against them. (Acts 7:60). If you are still thinking, how can I know I have totally forgiven my enemy (my betrayer, my unfaithful spouse, my abusive parent, the one who has ruined my life, or hurt my children), I would say, walking out these 7 principles is as near as you can get to exhibiting total forgiveness. And remember what we said last week, do not go to a person you have had to forgive and say I forgive you because it will be counter productive every time, unless you know it is a person who desperately is longing to hear those words. Otherwise, you will create more problems than you will ever be able to solve. They will say to you, For what? 9 out of 10 people are clueless that they have done anything wrong. It is up to me to forgive them from the heart and keep quiet about it.