Becoming the Church that Loves: Admonishing One Another Colossians 3:12-17 Rev. Jim Zazzera, August 28, 2011, Faith Presbyterian Church

Transcription

1 Becoming the Church that Loves: Admonishing One Another Colossians 3:12-17 Rev. Jim Zazzera, August 28, 2011, Faith Presbyterian Church Right about this time of year, when my children went off to college for the first time, I wrote each of them a letter. Each letter included my parental advice, warnings and encouragement related to the next few years of their lives. I remember talking about friendship, money, sex, and studies. I remember trying to strike the right tone. I remember how much time I took to write the perfect I wanted to offer them. I remember how awkward I felt giving them the note, and months later wondering whether they read it and thought about it at all. Though personal, my advice was neither unique nor necessarily profound. I like some of this similar advice offered to college freshmen a few years ago by Ben Jones, an assistant director of admissions at MIT: 1 Your friends will change a lot over the next four years. Let them. Parents will love this next one: Call someone you love back home a few times a week, even if just for a few minutes. All freshmen will like this: Take naps in the middle of the afternoon with reckless abandon. At least a few times in your college career, do something fun and irresponsible when you should be studying. My personal favorite: In ten years very few of you will look as good as you do right now, so secretly revel in how hot you are before it's too late. Another one that parents really like: Wash your sheets more than once a year. Trust me on this one. Life is too short to stick with a course of study that you're no longer excited about. Switch, even if it complicates things. Tattoos are permanent. Be very certain. Enjoy every second of the next four years. It is impossible to describe how quickly they pass. Giving advice, offering warnings, and presenting instructions is not something I find myself drawn to. It is not really something I am particularly good at. Yet people of 1 for- coll.html

2 God are called to do something very much like this. We even have a fancy Christian word for it it is called admonish. The word admonish can mean to instruct, to warn, to teach. 2 English dictionaries tell us that it means, to reprove gently but earnestly; or to counsel (another) against something to be avoided; caution. The Greek word behind the New Testament word for admonish means, "to impart understanding, to set right, to lay on the heart." Admonishing is not simply teaching, but is often a kind of correcting. Admonishing is not just intellectual, but is quite often about behavior. Admonishing is not simply gentle advice, but is often a strong warning. I don t know about you, but the more I hear about admonishing, the less I want to do it my self. There are a number of reasons that I react this way. 3 First, I don t feel qualified. Who am I to correct another person s behavior? Don t I have enough problems of my own? Second, I would often rather just share someone s misery. Its encouraging that someone stumbles through life as much as I do. Thirdly, I am pretty good at adapting to those around me. If I have to adapt to the weakness and sinfulness of another, isn t that just what friends should do for each other? Finally, if am I really honest, I get a certain pleasure out of seeing other people with problems. Who of us doesn t secretly like to have someone to look down on? So, like you (I suspect) I do everything I can to avoid admonishing others. There are just too many reasons not too. Yet the inescapable truth is that God asks us to do this for and with our brothers and sisters in Christ. A church that loves one another is a church that admonishes each other. In his letter to the Romans, the apostle Paul says, I myself feel confident about you, my brothers and sisters, that you yourselves are full of goodness, filled with all knowledge, and able to instruct (admonish) one another. 4 In another place he says, It is he whom we proclaim, warning (admonishing) everyone and teaching everyone in all wisdom, so that we may present everyone mature in Christ. 5 In yet another place he comments, And we urge you, beloved, to admonish the idlers, encourage the faint hearted, help the weak, be patient with all of them. 6 Then in today s reading we hear, Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly; teach and admonish one another in all wisdom; and with gratitude in your hearts sing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs to God. 7 Now this summer we have been spending every Sunday talking about what it looks like to be a church, a congregation that loves one another. So today we reflect on 2 the following understanding are found in at Admonish- One- Another#content=/submissions/ These ideas are suggested by Gerald Sittser in Love One Another, pp Romans 15:14, NRSV 5 Colossians 1:28, NRSV 6 1 Thessalonians 5:12, NRSV 7 Colossians 3:16, NRSV

3 one last aspect of loving one another in the church. Once we have welcomed one another, been subject to one another, given forbearance to one another, forgiven one another, confessed sin to and prayed for one another, served one another, encouraged one another, comforted one another, borne burdens for one another and provoked one another; now we are ready to admonish one another. Though I am not ready to claim it as scriptural, it is my hunch that only after we have done all these things that are we then ready and have earned the privilege to do the final thing to admonish one another. In a way, I think we should be a little reticent about admonishing. Though the task has been given to us God is really the only one who has the right to admonish. We are only given the privilege and responsibility by virtue of the fact that we are together part of the body of Christ. We are on holy ground when we take on this task of admonishing each other. We are on God s turf. Gerald Sittser puts it this way: Admonition is the last resort, the final weapon, the riskiest move we make in our relationships with fellow Christians. 8 As I was thinking about explaining the how of admonition, a particular Bible story comes to mind. Do you know the story of David and the prophet Nathan? David, of course, was the King of Israel. He is a man of wealth, power, and status. In fact, in his place and time, he was THE man of wealth, power, and status. On top of all that, he was favored in God s eyes. David, of all the people who could be named, was God s man. Yet in Chapter of 2 Samuel, we get a look into David s major failing. You probably know the story. From his rooftop patio he sees his beautiful neighbor Bathsheba coming out of her bath. He is so struck by her beauty, he sends someone for her immediately. Then as one translation puts it she came to him and he lay with her. 9 After that, of course, bigger problems arise. First, Bathsheba becomes pregnant and David is the father. Second, Bathsheba happens to be the wife of Uriah, one of the soldiers in David s army. David uses his power to take Bathsheba sexually and ruins many lives in the process. David first tries to hide his sin by creating a scenario where Uriah will think the child is his. (You can read about that in detail in 2 Samuel 11 and 12.) When that doesn t work, the King arranges for Uriah to be killed in battle. David then brings Bathsheba to his house as his wife. You get the picture, sin is piled upon cover up, is piled upon sin, is piled upon cover up, is piled upon sin. (Sounds like the 21 st century!) If anyone is ripe for admonishment, it is King David. So here is what I would like us to consider. David is in regular consultation with Nathan, the prophet of God. Here is someone whom David trusts and someone who knows him. Nathan is in regular consultation with God, and God sends Nathan to 8 Love One Another, Gerald Sittser, p Samuel 11:4

4 David to admonish the King. Listen to how Nathan approaches this task. He does it by telling David a story, a sort of parable. There were two men in the same city one rich, the other poor. The rich man had huge flocks of sheep, herds of cattle. The poor man had nothing but one little female lamb, which he had bought and raised. It grew up with him and his children as a member of the family. It ate off his plate and drank from his cup and slept on his bed. It was like a daughter to him. One day a traveler dropped in on the rich man. He was too stingy to take an animal from his own herds or flocks to make a meal for his visitor, so he took the poor man's lamb and prepared a meal to set before his guest." David exploded in anger. "As surely as God lives," he said to Nathan, "the man who did this ought to be killed! He must repay for the lamb four times over for his crime and his stinginess!" "You're the man!" said Nathan. 10 You are the man! All of David s lies and sins are unmasked. Focus for a moment on the way Nathan admonishes David, set aside the nature of the particular sin and notice a few things about Nathan. First, Nathan already has a close relationship with David, though he might not be called a friend, he is already an intimate part of David s life. 11 I wonder if it is perhaps those of us who are closest to a brother or sister in Christ who are best suited to offer guidance, challenge, and admonishment? Far from being an intrusion, admonishment from someone who has known us and seeks the best for us is most often to be trusted. Secondly, Nathan was called by the Lord to do the task of admonishing. He didn t just think this up on his own, in fact, he may have been risking his own life in delivering bad news to the king. Kings generally don t like bad news. Admonishment for us can never be about self- interest, it is always about God s interest. And God s interest is goodness, truth, and love for each of us. When we think we must offer admonishment to another, we do well to ask ourselves, am I acting out of self- righteousness, or is God truly calling me to this? There is no more critical time for prayer and discernment than an occasion when we are called to admonish. Thirdly, notice that Nathan is not making a big public spectacle of the admonishment, but essentially does it in private. (I am aware of course that the life of a king is rarely private.) Privacy in admonishment is critical. Correction is never about shaming another person. Instruction like this is never a public performance. As Jesus says in Matthew 18, If another member of the church sins against you, go and point out the fault when the two of you are alone. 12 Jesus reminds us that we always begin in private Samuel 12:1-7, The Message 11 See 2 Samuel 7 12 Matthew 18:15, NRSV

5 Finally, Nathan tells a story rather than address in the issue directly, not because he thinks it will be cute or interesting, but because he knows it will help David, a man blinded by his own passions, to discover for himself his need for correction. This man deserves to die! David says after hearing the parable. You are the man! replies Nathan. Responsible admonishment always fits the situation. Loving correction must always takes the individual into account. There is no generic form. We must always ask, How can I remain positive with this brother in front of me? How can I get through to this particular sister in a loving way? Can I hear him and have him hear me? Can I be open to her and she to me? The writer of Ephesians says, speaking the truth in love, we must grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ 13 Speaking the truth in love I like the concept, but do not always find it well implemented. We are called to do this with great care. In this church we have a governing board called the session. And one of the things that those of us who are elders do at the end of every session meeting is share in a time that we call truth in love. This is not just one more agenda item, but a time for reflecting on how well we loved and served each other during the meeting. It is based on this very concept from Ephesians. At times, this truth in love time can be the most difficult part of the meeting. At times, this truth in love time is the most profound part of the evening. At times, it is both. As we conclude our meetings, we are really asking question like this: Are we in need of admonishment in how we work together? Is there any need for correction in how we treated each other? Its there something we need to see about how we serve God? Perhaps someone wasn t heard, perhaps another felt attacked, perhaps we overlooked something big that God was trying to do. Truth in love. Truth in love. What if in our life together, we regularly invited our brother and sisters to offer that to us? What if in our community of faith, we trusted each other enough to invite other Christians to admonish us? No one who does not at some level invite admonishment is really open to receiving it. As we share in the body of Christ, we are in some way asking that of our brothers and sisters. It is a tender, difficult and precious task. Truth in love. Admonishment. No more, no less. May we have the courage to trust each other so that we may receive it. May we have the faith to trust God to guide it. May we have the commitment to love each other that much. 13 Ephesians 4:15, NRSV

6 Next Step Questions: What is the best advice you ever got? Did you take it? How would you define the word admonish? What is the biggest reason you are afraid of admonishing another Christian (if you are)? What are some of the dangers of admonishment in the church? What are the benefits? Admonition is the last resort, the final weapon, the riskiest move we make in our relationships with fellow Christians. Do you agree with this quote from Gerald Sittser? Why or why not? From whom are you willing to take advice, correction, admonishment? What about that person makes you willing to hear them? Read the story of David and Nathan again (2 Samuel 11:1-12:7). What do you find unique, helpful, or challenging about how Nathan admonished King David? Jim said that admonishment is best given: By someone who is close to the person receiving it By someone who has carefully discerned what God has called them to say In private In a way tailored to the particular individual What do you think? What kinds of actions, attitudes, or beliefs require admonishment? Is it possible to make a general statement? Do you ever wish someone had corrected or admonished you at some point in your life? Why didn t it happen? What does it mean to speak the truth in love? Do you think it is our job to admonish those outside the church? Why or why not? Study Scriptures for next week: Mon: 2 Samuel 11-12, David & Nathan Tuesday: Matthew 18:15-20, Another offends you Wednesday: Ephesians 4:11-16, Truth in Love Thursday: Colossians 1:24-29, Mature in Christ Friday: 1 Thessalonians 5:11-15, Encourage & Admonish Saturday: John 13:34-35, Love in the church