1. Buber can speak to us about improving our personal relationships

Transcription

1 1 Martn Buber: Recoverng the Personal Dmenson of Lfe James Back Introducton 1. Buber can speak to us about mprovng our personal relatonshps 2. We have to enter nto dalogue wth hm through hs wrtngs 3. Buber sad he dd not have a teachng but only ponts. He takes us to the wndow and nvtes us to look. Hs s a relgons vsonary, I and Thou s more poetry than logcal analyss. 4. Some helpful readng: I and Thou (Scrbner, 1958). Hs classc work whch gves poetc expresson to hs personalstc vson; Between Man and Man (Macmllan, 1965). A collecton of essays whch develop personalstc phlosophy as a bass for hs relgous vson; The Knowledge of Man (Harper and Row, 1965). Another collecton of essays whch explan hs personalst outlook; Martn Buber s Lfe and Work by Maurce Fredman, three vol. (Dutton, ). A comprehensve bography by a frend and scholar who gves a feel for the man and relates Buber s thoughts to hs personal lfe. I. Concern A. Depersonalzng trends n our culture: for example, bureaucratc organzatons, cult of celebrtes, the ambvalence of the socal meda, manpulatve relatonshps, pornography B. Troubled relatonshps: harmng the envronment; martal problems leadng to dvorce; dmnshed frendshps; dsregards for the arts; eclpse of God. A. Lfe 1. Born nto a mddle-class Jewsh famly n Venna n 1878

2 2 2. Mother left hm at age three and a few years later he realzed she was not comng back 3. Studed phlosophy and art hstory at unverstes of Venna, Berln, Lepzg and Zurch 4. Got nvolved n the Zonst movement, stressng ts cultural and educatonal aspects; broke wth Herzl n 1903 over poltcal emphass and values ssues. 5. Taught at Frankfort Unversty from (resgned under pressure from the Nazs) 6. Moved to Jerusalem n 1938 and taught socal phlosophy at the Hebrew Unversty n Jerusalem from After the establshment of the State of Israel n 1948, he contnued to push for peace between Jews and Arabs. He advocated a b-natonal state composed of Jews and Arabs as equal ctzens 8. Ded on June 13, 1965 at age 87 B. Personalty 1. Characterstcs: brllant, poetc, engagng, energetc and hard workng 2. Impresson: frends noted hs great ablty to be present to them 3. He rarely attended synagogue and was generally not fathful to Jewsh practces but dd have great respect for the Jewsh tradtons C. Relatonshps 1. Most mportant, hs wfe Paula, a Catholc who converted to Judasm 2. Franz Rosenzweg worked wth hm on translatng the Hebrew Bble nto German from 1925 untl 1929 when Franz ded. Buber completed the translaton n 1961 (one of hs great accomplshments) 3. Interacted wth many sgnfcant fgures: Ensten, Freud, Herman Hesse, Paul Tlllch, Carl Rogers 4. He was attracted by Socrates and hs commtment to dalogue, to Goethe and hs apprecaton of nature, and Jesus whom he saw wthn the Jewsh tradton (the Sufferng Servant) as a brother who

3 3 had a close relatonshp wth the Eternal Thou he called Father, and preached out of that experence. D. Jewsh nfluence 1. Hebrew Scrpures that are a dalogue between God and the Israeltes. 2. Hasdsm, the mystcal movement of East European Jewry begun n 18 th century Poland by the Bal Shem-Tov ( ) that created small communtes led by a sprtual master (a Zaddk ). Buber collected ther stores emphaszng the everyday effort to hallow the world. Gersham Scholem crtczed Buber for a one-sded readng that left out the mystcal aspect of Hasdsm III. Buber on Relatonshps A. The Lfe of Dalogue B. Hs central nsght 1. Human exstence s essentally relatonal 2. We are related to nature, other humans, the cultural products of the human sprt and God 3. In the begnnng s relaton ; All real lvng s meetng C. Dstngush 1. I It relatonshps treatng others as objects or means to be used or experenced. It s planned and evaluated. We are never totally nvolved. Such relatonshps are necessary n human exstence. Sometmes we use others legtmately, for example as a source of nformaton. 2. I Thou the deal of beng totally present to the other who s treasured as a unque subject. We sense ther goodness and potental. Ths creates a mutualty that s fulfllng for both partners. In all genune encounters, both partners experence lberaton and the Sprt s unleashed. Every Thou s a glmpse through to the eternal Thou. D. Varant Relatonshps cf Walter Kaufman n hs Introducton to hs translaton of I and Thou

4 4 1. I I: persons who are so self-absorbed that they have no consumng nterest n thngs or persons. They do not make objects out of others but see them only n relaton to themselves. 2. I It: makng an object out of the other; they manpulate frends and demonze enemes. 3. It It: persons who are so absorbed n a task or project that they lose sense of self and thnk of ther project as an object to be controlled. 4. We We: an ndvdual s so mmersed n the communty that no personal subjectvty (no I) emerges and others are seen as part of the collectve. 5. Us Them: sees the world dvded between us good, uprght persons and those who are worthy of contempt. Issues are not complex but are decded along party lnes. Prophets often see the world ths way. E. Modes of I You 1. We treat others as a means n both destructve ways (sexual domnaton, economc explotaton) and legtmate accepted ways (as a means of nformaton or comfort). We may feel good about beng used as a shoulder to cry on. 2. There are gradatons of the I Thou relatonshp. At the hghest level two people are totally present to one another gvng of ther whole selves, treasurng the other, nteractng wthout selfshness on the bass of mutualty and equalty. Ths deal s hard to sustan and can be exhaustng. We can treat others as ends and not means n less ntense ways, respectng and lovng others whle strvng to confrm them and not selfshly control them. Not every devaton from the hghest norm fall nto I It. F. The Between - a category developed by Buber to explan the essence of relatonshps 1. That whch s created by genune encounters; the fundamental realty

5 5 2. Ths s the realm of the Sprt whch s more lke the ar we breathe than the blood flowng n an ndvdual s vens. 3. Wthout the Thou there s no I; human exstence s essentally relatonal. 4. As bengs wth potental for further development we are essentally surprsng to one another, fundamentally mysterous. G. The nature of martal love 1. Not merely romantc feelngs but the responsblty of an I for a Thou. 2. Sharng a lfe together wthout smotherng the partner s ndvdualty. 3. Love sees the potental n the beloved. 4. Love s patent and perseverng, endurng the test of tme. 5. Buber advses couples n ther love-makng to try to magne what the experence s lke for ther spouse so as to transfer pleasure nto love. H. Ten gudelnes for mprovng our personal relatonshps 1. Recognzng the nature and mportance of our personal relatonshps. I and Thou (1923) s a classc work wth a surplus of meanng that presents permanent possbltes, one of the most nfluental books of the 20 th century. Human exstence s essentally relatonal. In the begnnng s relaton. Dstngush I - Thou and I - t as prmary words that descrbe two opposed ways of relatng to others. The mportance of the between as the realm of the Sprt. Human relatonshps do not dmnsh our relatonshp to God but enrch t (Kerkegaard and Regne Olson). Example of man reluctant to marry who now fnds marrage fulfllng. 2. Attempt to hollow (make holy) all relatonshps, even the most mundane. Buber learned ths from hs ntense study of Hasdsm. The profane s that whch has the potental to be sacred. It helps to

6 6 see the other as unque and sacred. Try to magne how the other s experencng the relatonshp, for example, n martal lovemakng. 3. Accept the lmtatons bult nto our relatonshps. Our melancholc fate s that I Thou relatons nevtably move toward I t. Searchng for I thou can lead to excuses and dsappontments. Fallng out of love n the martal relatonshp. The beloved eventually dsapponts us. Buber and Herzl. 4. Develop exstental trust rooted n fath n God. Ths s the fundamental atttude toward lfe that we need for healthy relatonshps. Buber s marrage to Paula helped hm develop self-confdence and deal wth the loss of hs mother. God s the Wholly Present One who speaks to us, the ultmate source of our trust. Woman abused by father and n the mltary eventually learns to trust a young man and marry hm. 5. Approach others open to ther unque sprt and wthout tryng to mpress them. Our essental cowardce nclnes us to nflate our own mportance even to the pont of decet. To overcome ths temptaton we need essental courage. Eugena Fredman, who n meetng Buber, saw hm as lvng what he wrote; and felt a great comfortng warmth; thought she could tell hm anythng wthout beng judged; and understood for the frst tme what t means to be a human beng. 6. Do not overanalyze a relatonshp wth makes us more self-conscous and reduces the other to a psychologcal type or predctable pattern of behavor. Story of Buber at age 14 strokng a horse. 7. Do not smply accept the other but confrm them by recognzng ther potental and encouragng them to develop t (Dalogue between Buber and Carl Rogers at Unversty of Mchgan n 1957). Love may be blnd but t s also nsghtful. Good Teachers are able to see the potental n ther students.

7 7 8. Transform the dark sde of personal relatonshps nto new creatve energy. Do not repress evl urges to turn a thou nto an t but drect ther energy to postve efforts. Evl urges are encompassed wthn the dvne plan. When we gnore the call of conscence that comes from the Eternal Thou and fal to be present to the other we must admt our genune exstental gult, seek forgveness and try to repar the damage. Buber wth young man gong off to war. 9. Learn how to enter nto genune dalogue wth the other: t s rooted n the convcton that God frst addresses us. Genune dalogue enables both of us to see somethng new about the world and broadens our horzons. Gradually come to accepted defntons or shared understandng of the words we use ncludng tradtonal relgous words lke God. Fdelty to the realty of the stuaton s more mportant than candor. Sometmes wthholdng nformaton s the proper way to show respect for the other. 10. Be alert for glmpses of the Eternal Thou n our encounters wth others. At the same tme, do not try to manpulate God or make God nto an object or turn I Thou nto I It. Do not try to force God to act but awat the dvne ntatve.