Praise for Kingdom Woman

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2 Praise for Kingdom Woman Hold onto someting because Kingdom Woman will rock your world. If you re looking for a practical read tat can elp you leverage your purpose and power as a woman in te kingdom of God, look no furter. Tis is te book for you! Tis book is for every woman wo wants to serve God wit substance and impact. Dr. Leslie Parrott Autor of You Matter More Tan You Tink Kingdom Woman is inspiring, motivating, and catalyzing. Reading tis book breated life and refresed fait into my eart. Women wo want to live boldly and intentionally for te kingdom of God will find tis book foundationally encouraging. Sally Clarkson Autor, popular conference speaker, and ost of itakejoy.com Never ave women been bombarded wit so many competing demands, coices, and expectations. In Kingdom Woman Dr. Tony Evans and Crystal Evans Hurst inspire, equip, and empower us to believe God and wit great fait to step up and into te purpose and plan He as for eac one of our lives. Your kingdom contribution is important in every season. Tis book will elp you to keep running your race beautifully. Cristine Caine Best-selling autor of Undaunted and founder of Te A21 Campaign As I read Kingdom Woman, I recalled te beauty of a fater waltzing wit is daugter, admiring teir graceful movements, and sensing teir love and affection for eac oter. Teir writing is poised wit precision, capturing us wit teir compassion for God, family, eac oter and callenging eac of us to learn to waltz wit our eavenly Fater as He leads and empowers us to live for Him. Seila Bailey Seila B. Ministries

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7 Kingdom Woman Copyrigt 2013 Tony Evans and Crystal Evans Hurst A Focus on te Family book publised by Tyndale House Publisers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois Focus on te Family and te accompanying logo and design are federally registered trademarks of Focus on te Family, Colorado Springs, CO TYNDALE and Tyndale s quill logo are registered trademarks of Tyndale House Publisers, Inc. All Scripture quotations, unless oterwise indicated, are taken from te Holy Bible, New International Version. niv. Copyrigt 1973, 1978, 1984 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rigts reserved worldwide ( Scripture quotations marked (esv) are from Te Holy Bible, Englis Standard Version, (ESV ), copyrigt 2001 by Crossway, a publising ministry of Good News Publisers. Used by permission. All rigts reserved. Scripture quotations marked (kjv) are taken from te King James Version. Scripture quotations marked (msg) are taken from Te Message [paraprase]. Copyrigt by Eugene H. Peterson 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, Used by permission of NavPress Publising Group. All Scripture quotations marked (nasb) are taken from te New American Standard Bible. Copyrigt 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by Te Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. ( All italics in te Bible texts were added by te autor for empasis. Te use of material from or references to various websites does not imply endorsement of tose sites in teir entirety. Availability of websites and pages is subject to cange witout notice. No part of tis publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means electronic, mecanical, potocopy, recording, or oterwise witout prior written permission of Focus on te Family. Cover design by Jennifer Gionzoli Cover skyline poto copyrigt PotoDisc. All rigts reserved. Cover potograp taken by Stepen Vosloo. Copyrigt by Focus on te Family. All rigts reserved. Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available by contacting te Library of Congress at ttp:// /contact-general.tml. ISBN: Printed in te United States of America /

8 Tere are four living generations of women in our family. Tis book is dedicated to te tree youngest: Kariss Jessica Kelsey kingdom women in te making

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10 CONTENTS Acknowledgments...xi Foreword: Lois Evans and Priscilla Sirer...xiii Introduction: Te Significance of a Kingdom Woman... 1 PART I: THE FOUNDATION OF A KINGDOM WOMAN = PURPOSE < 1 A Woman of Value A Woman of Hope A Woman of Excellence A Woman of Commitment...57 PART II: THE FAITH OF A KINGDOM WOMAN = POWER < 5 Te Power of a Kingdom Woman s Fait Te Pursuit of a Kingdom Woman s Fait Te Possibilities of a Kingdom Woman s Fait Te Prayer of a Kingdom Woman s Fait PART III: THE FRUIT OF A KINGDOM WOMAN = POSSIBILITIES < 9 A Kingdom Woman and Her Personal Life A Kingdom Woman and Her Family Life A Kingdom Woman and Her Curc A Kingdom Woman and Her Community Appendix: Te Urban Alternative Notes...203

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12 ACKNOWLEDGMENTS I never imagined tis life, one bursting at te seams wit more goodness tan any man could manage alone. Yet it as someow been balanced wit grace because of you, Lois. Te greatest story in all te books of te world could never describe te affection and appreciation I ave for you. Anyting good I ave ever accomplised as been because of you. Wat can I say, except tank you. Crystal, I was a twenty-two-year-old young man, steeped in inexperience, te very first time I laid eyes on you. Te doctor came troug te double doors into te waiting room were I d been frantically pacing, and e told me you were ere. And wen I saw you, I knew I would never be te same again. I could never ave imagined tat forty years later, you and I would sit down togeter, pens in and, to write a book tat would impact women everywere. Wat a gift you ave been to tis project. Wat a gift you ave been to me. Tyndale and Focus on te Family: Finding publisers wo carefully walk te fine line of ministry and business wit grace and integrity can be a callenge. I ve found tat in you. Partnering wit you on tis book as been a joy. I can t wait to do it again soon. Daddy, tanks for te loving nudge in te direction of God s call on my life. You always see more in me tan I do. Mommy, I ave ad no better example tan te one you ave lived before my eyes, day in and day out, troug te best and worst of times. So muc of wat I ave learned about living as a kingdom woman, I ave learned from watcing you. Kariss and Jessica, if you adn t been willing to elp me make dinner, clean up te kitcen, and watc your broters, I wouldn t ave ad time to write. You are not just my daugters; you are my friends. Silla, not a day goes by tat I m not grateful tat you are my one and only

13 xii ACKNOWLEDGMENTS sissy. I know I don t always act like it, but I m glad wen you walk over to my ouse and come in te back door witout knocking. You are wonderful wit words bot spoken and written. Tanks for letting me learn from you. Many tanks to Kanika, Micelle, and Wynter, wo let me borrow teir brains on a regular basis and granted me access to teir insigts and creativity. I appreciate every reply to my incessant s, texts, and calls. Sally Clarkson and Zan Tyler, your words of encouragement eco in my mind on a regular basis. Your words of affirmation watered dormant seeds and reminded me of wo I am. Andrea, you understand my life omescooling, ousework, and ungry boys so your reflections ave meant so muc. We will eventually make more time to ang out wit our crew! Focus on te Family and Tyndale House Publisers, tanks for te opportunity to work on a project wit my dad. And last but certainly not least, to my usband, Jessie, my kingdom man you are te reason I ave te freedom to find my pat and try new tings. Your deep and consistent love for tis crazy wife God gave you makes my eart melt over and over.

14 FOREWORD A few women siged in esitation wen we told tem about tis book. Te tougt of anoter manual to tell tem wat tey aren t doing well and to give tem instructions on ow to cange didn t sound appealing. Te mere mention of a kingdom woman conjured up an idealistic image, one tat instantly became a burden. Maybe, onestly, you feel te same way a bit weary of aving a finger waving in your face demanding tat you do better especially wen you are already doing your absolute best. We understand. Trust us, we understand wic is wy we re glad you ve opened tis book. Tis book, muc like its companion Kingdom Man, will be unlike oters you ve read. It won t inform you and ten leave you anging to deal wit a sense of condemnation and guilt. Every capter will encourage and applaud you and ten sow you teologically and practically ow to ave te kind of fait tat will user in te miracle you ve been looking for te one you ve been longing to see unfold in your family, curc, or community. It will and you a sword and ten inspire you to draw it in te face of adversity instead of srinking back into complacency or even into despair. After you take in tese pages, you will be encouraged and you will also be empowered for te journey aead. Merging two unique messages into a succinct and singular package requires a pair of people wo ave walked troug te annals of experience togeter. Our usband/fater and daugter/sister are just te duo to make it appen. Wit Crystal s frank, autentic, real-life perspective punctuating Tony s biblically inspired teacing, you will find tis read an eye-opening and enligtening adventure troug Scripture and ten into your own eart. Crystal s a bit new on te publising scene, but se sines in te women s ministry at our curc and in our lives personally. For many years now, se as led te ladies of our local congregation, training tem to be women of purpose wo are equipped to reac teir full potential. In a Cristian world filled wit folks striving for te limeligt and a micropone, se as earned an esteemed place witin te local curc. Tat s someting wort talking about. Her ability

15 xiv FOREWORD to engage and inspire an audience is compelling, but er faitfulness to disciple women one-on-one is admirable and as inspired oters to do te same. Even more impactful tan tat, Crystal as managed to keep er priorities in place, structuring er time and efforts to focus primarily on er family. Honestly, we don t know ow se does it, and we stand in awe of er every day. As a omescool moter of five cildren, se knows te juggling act performed by millions of women te world over and as demonstrated wat it means to onor God as a wife and moter. To top it off, se makes a loaf of omemade pumpkin bread tat will make your mout water. In between wasing dinner dises, creating lesson plans, and taking te occasional field trip, Crystal as managed to find time to blog er tougts and life appenings in a way tat as captured te attention of women. Te treasure you will uncover in tis manuscript will come not only from Tony s teacing but also from te story of Crystal s life. Her deep, triving relationsip wit Jesus is seen in every word, and er vulnerability and quick wit will draw you in and ten cause you to see yourself in er life. You ll laug at er stories and see te biblical trut se intended to sare. Crystal is refresingly unassuming. Not perfect but purposeful. You won t feel pressured to emulate er, but you will want to walk alongside er. Tony probably doesn t need any introduction. He as written more tan sixty books, so te one you are olding in your ands is a continuation of a long line of fantastic titles. His contribution in publising as blessed millions of people te world over and made an indelible mark on te ealt of te global curc. His desire to uncover and ten relay teological truts in a practical, relevant way as been te mark of is ministry a ministry in wic e as served is entire adult life. He is a faitful man wo as dedicated imself to te Lord, is family, and te local curc. For more tan tree decades, e as pastored te same flock. For more tan four decades, e as loved te same wife. For nearly five decades, e as taugt te same unadulterated gospel of Jesus Crist. Te dept of is integrity and caracter matc te widespread reac of is ministry. We wis we could ave pulled you around our kitcen table to experience te after-dinner devotions tat appened most nigts in our ome. Or invited

16 FOREWORD xv you along for our yearly mont-long road trip troug te States tat e courageously took us on eac August. Or ad you join us for Sunday-morning service were we ve sat under is inspired teacing for tirty-seven years. Ten you d see te real man beind te larger-tan-life persona te introspective and loving pastor, fater, and friend wo as a eart tat will resonate wit yours troug every portion of tis book. So, ere s te deal: Tis book is like a train track eaded to a destination tat is wort every ounce of energy spent making te trip. And, like any track, tis one as two rails bound togeter by te rungs of wisdom and experience. At different points in your journey, you ll need to be willing to op on eac one of tese rails in order to get te most out of your reading. Eac will allow you a different vantage point tat will enance te oter. One side is Tony s biblical, tougt-provoking, and appropriately intense. It will require you to look into your Bible and ten into your own soul as you learn lessons from ancient women tat you may never ave gatered before. Ten Crystal will beckon you over to er side of te track. You ll grab er and, steady yourself on er rail, and begin a personal journey tat will allow you to apply te truts you ve been reading about. We ll be onest and tell you tat te ride won t always be easy and seamless. Tere migt be some turns on a few steep spiritual cliffs tat migt make you feel like you won t make it to te oter side intact but you will. You will. Tony and Crystal. Fater and daugter. Te perfect combination to bring you tis incredible manuscript tat will mark you forever. You ll emerge ricer, wiser, and more motivated to become te kingdom woman you were created to be. Be blessed as you read.

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18 INTRODUCTION THE SIGNIFICANCE OF A KINGDOM WOMAN Wen a kingdom woman s alarm sounds eac morning, te devil tries to it er snooze button. He ll do watever e can to try and stop er from getting up and taking on a new day. Hell at no fury like a kingdom woman disturbed. Se won t stop doing all se can for te kingdom until se makes te devil regret ever messing wit er. As te strong and eloquent Eleanor Roosevelt once said, A woman is like a teabag. You never know ow strong it is until it s in ot water. 1 Wen te ot water comes, we often witness te explosion of strengt and inner resolve tat would put many men to same. In cildbirt alone, women frequently endure and experience more anguis and pain tan scores of men sent out to war. Women are often te unsung eroes beind any major victory, discovery, or moral campaign. Trougout istory, wen te men were away at battle, women eld down te fort, assisted in creating and sending te supplies, ran te businesses, maintained te economy and community, and farmed all wile still managing teir omes. Women ave always eld a place of influence in culture, even if it asn t been publicly recognized or legally allowed. Te nineteent-century autor Virginia Woolf wrote succinctly, I would venture to guess tat [Anonymous,] wo wrote so many poems witout signing tem, was often a woman. 2 In fact, women ave been equipped wit suc an innate capacity for influence tat tey can cange te world for good or, unfortunately, for bad. We are all too familiar wit te negative influences. For example, Samson could defeat an entire army wit te jaw of a donkey, but e became weak in

19 2 KINGDOM WOMAN Women ave been equipped wit suc an innate capacity for influence tat tey can cange te world for good. te arms of one woman. Solomon ad wisdom, rices, and power, but e still bowed to te ungodly influence of is many wives. David killed a giant wit all te bravery and bravado of a gladiator wit only one stone and a slingsot. Yet King David was taken down by just one look at a bating beauty. Feminine influence doesn t solely come tied to sexuality, nor is it used only to gain a negative outcome. In fact, many women use teir innate power to bring about good on bealf of tose around tem. Women in general mature faster tan men, giving women an opportunity to make decisions in teir earlier years tat position tem more securely in life and in te workplace. More women tan men are graduating at all levels of college. And women s earnings ave increased 56 percent on average since 1963, but teir male coworkers are earning less tan working men in Not only are women influencing te workplace more tan ever, but women are also often te impetus beind social cange and transformation. Te Center on Pilantropy found tat women of te Baby Boomer generation and older, across nearly every economic bracket, give more up to 89 percent more to carity tan men, tus raising te volume of teir voices wit regard to strategy, vision, and approac. 4 Beyond tat, women are gifted wit a winsome ability to be disarmingly carming, even witout using additional pysical appeal. Tis alone can guide conversations teir way, or influence major decisions in many realms, even unknowingly to tose involved. Women also often embody additional spiritual dept and insigt tat captivate men because tose qualities reflect someting tat men crave for temselves. Our culture often displays a mirage tat sows men aving all te power, control, and influence. And men, in teir most raw form, do seek to create, explore, build, exploit, acieve, and conquer, and ten grab te glory for doing it all temselves. Wat is frequently missed: examining te motivation beind a man s ambitions, wic is often te influence of a woman.

20 Te SIGNIFICANCE of a Kingdom WOMAN 3 From early on, a man depends upon a woman in many ways from te womb to early cildood, to teacers and te influence of media tat creates an ideal image of a woman. A man doesn t buy a car just because e wants tat fast-looking car. He will often buy a car to impress a woman, even if e won t admit tat s wy e did it. Men often learn as early as junior ig tat te guys wo play sports get te girls. Te guys wo drive nice cars, ave money, or ooze carm get te girls. As tey grow into men, tose lessons stick wit tem as tey aim for good jobs, a certain reputation, or success. All you ave to do is listen to a Our culture often displays a mirage tat sows men aving all te power, control, and influence. song sung by a man to discover one of te biggest driving forces beind muc of wat men do. Here s an example you can find playing on today s radio stations, Cause wat you don t understand is I d catc a grenade for ya. 5 Or from te soundtrack of te popular 1991 film Robin Hood: Prince of Tieves, a caracter of great gusto, power, and strengt battles enemies in difficult and dangerous scenarios wile te lyrics point to a woman being beind all is forays: Everyting I do, I do it for you. 6 Or take it back to my generation wit lyrics from te it song Wen a Man Loves a Woman by te one and only Percy Sledge: He ll trade te world for te good ting e as found. 7 Rarely does an epic movie ever finis witout someow uniting or reuniting a man wit a woman. Battles ave been fougt over women, istory as been saped by women, policy as been influenced or decided by women, nations ave been run by women. Even in atletics women ave power and influence. As recently as te London Olympics in 2012, American women won more gold medals not just over te American men but over most nations total medal counts as well (Cina won tirty-eigt and Great Britain tied te American women wit twenty-nine). In fact, te United States women won a total of fifty-eigt medals, wic is more tan sixty-four countries total medal counts combined, not including Cina, Russia, and Great Britain. 8

21 4 KINGDOM WOMAN Sojourner Trut, one powerful woman, said, If te first woman God ever made was strong enoug to turn te world upside down all alone, tese women togeter ougt to be able to turn it back, and get it rigt side up again! 9 Eigteent-century Britis essayist Samuel Jonson wrote at a time wen women s rigts were greatly limited by law, Nature as given women so muc power tat te law as wisely given tem very little. 10 Tankfully, te legal rigts and opportunities of women are no longer limited in America or many oter countries as tey were in te time of Virginia Woolf, Samuel Jonson, or Sojourner Trut, but te sentiment beind eac of teir statements remains true. Women are naturally gifted to influence and impact teir world. God as given women a diverse makeup tat enables tem to carry out multiple functions well. Te First Woman Women grace tis planet wit insigt, sensitivity, and a spiritual beauty tat as put tem beind great accomplisments. Te popular sayings ring true: Te and tat rocks te cradle rules te world, and beind every great man is a greater woman. Or, in our case, beind every kingdom man is a kingdom woman. No one ever goes around saying, Beind every great woman is a greater man. Tat prase wouldn t fly. Tere are scores of single women wo are successful, competent, and satisfied. And tere are scores of married women wose usbands are clearly not kingdom men, yet tose women remain every bit kingdom women temselves. God created man out of dust from te ground. At a basic level, te Creator picked up some dirt and trew Adam togeter. Te Hebrew word for God forming man is yatsar, 11 wic means to form, as a potter. A pot usually as but one function. Yet wen God made a woman, He made a woman from te rib e ad taken out of te man (Genesis 2:22). He created er wit His own ands. He took His time crafting and molding er into multifaceted brilliance. Te

22 Te SIGNIFICANCE of a Kingdom WOMAN 5 Hebrew word used for making woman is bana, meaning to build, as a ouse, a temple, a city, an altar. 12 Te complexity implied by te term bana is wort noting. God as given women a diverse makeup tat enables tem to carry out multiple functions well. Adam may be considered Human Prototype 1.0, wile Eve was Human Prototype 2.0. Of ig importance, toug, is tat Eve was fasioned laterally wit Adam s rib. It was not a top-down formation of dominance or a bottom-up formation of subservience. Rater, Eve was an equally esteemed member of te uman race. After all, God spoke of te decision for teir creation as one decision before we were ever even introduced to te process of teir creation. Te very first time we read about bot Eve and Adam is wen we read of te mandate of rulersip given to bot of tem equally. We are introduced to bot genders togeter, simultaneously. Tis comes in te first capter of te Bible: Ten God said, Let us make man in our image, in our likeness, and let tem rule over te fis of te sea and te birds of te air, over te livestock, over all te eart, and over all te creatures tat move along te ground. So God created man in is own image, in te image of God e created im; male and female e created tem. (Genesis 1:26 27) Bot men and women ave been created equally in te image of God. Wile witin tat equality lie distinct and different roles (we will look at tat in capter 10), tere is no difference in equality of being, value, or dignity between te genders. Bot bear te responsibility of onoring te image in wic tey ave been made. A woman made in te image of God sould never settle for being treated as anyting less tan an image-bearer of te one true King. As Abraam Lincoln said, Noting stamped wit te Divine image and likeness was sent in te world to be trodden on. 13 Just as men, women were created to rule. A Covenant for Dominion Wen God created te eavens and te eart, He establised an order. Altoug He is te Creator and te ultimate Ruler over His creation, He willingly

23 6 KINGDOM WOMAN empowered umankind to rule witin His prescribed order. In teology tis is known as te Dominion Covenant. It is were God turned over to men and women te immediate, tangible rule over His creation witin te boundaries and stipulations tat He as set fort. Te Dominion Covenant is in Genesis 1 were we just read, Ten God said, Let us make man in our image, in our likeness, and let tem rule (verse 26). Te Dominion Covenant is rarely taugt or discussed. Yet it is no small ting. Fundamentally, it involves God s willing removal of Himself over te direct management of wat He as created on eart wile releasing tat management responsibility to umankind. Wen we read tat God created man in His own image, bot male and female were created. Te Dominion Covenant applies not only to men, but also to women. A kingdom woman is an essential part of God s rule on eart. He as delegated tis responsibility, empowering eac of us to make decisions. Tese decisions come wit blessings or consequences according to His boundaries and laws. God as establised a process wereby He onors our decisions even if tose decisions go against Him, or even if tose decisions are not in te best interests of tat wic is being managed. God said, Let tem rule. Wile God retains absolute sovereign autority and ownersip, He as delegated A kingdom woman is an essential part of God s rule on eart. relative autority to umankind witin te spere of influence, or dominion, tat eac person as. One of te reasons tat tis rule and management ave been neglected to suc a large degree is tat many people are confused about wy tey are ere on eart to begin wit. Tis as appened because of a culture tat as been flirting wit edonism for decades. A edonistic worldview promotes te notion tat someone s personal destiny exists to advance is or er personal appiness. In God s economy, owever, personal appiness is a derivative a benefit not te goal or driving force of destiny for a kingdom woman. Happiness is not

24 Te SIGNIFICANCE of a Kingdom WOMAN 7 te reason God created women. Te reason He created women was to advance His kingdom and His glory. Dominion in te Kingdom God as invested His image in His men and women and placed tem on display. A kingdom woman is to reflect Him and His kingdom in suc a remarkable fasion tat people want to know more about te kingdom se represents. Se as been put ere to reflect God s image. I noticed an example of tis wile my wife, Lois, and I spent time in New York City tis year. Every time we go, we inevitably stop by Saks Fift Avenue for an afternoon. Display windows line te sidewalk outside so passers-by can catc a glimpse of wat is inside te kingdom of Saks. Te owners invest major time and resources to display wat teir kingdom as to offer. I wis tat more people realized ow muc God s kingdom as to offer. One reason so few people truly grasp te significance tat comes from te Dominion Covenant is because tey don t know te true value of God s kingdom. Tey don t know exactly wat tey ave been placed ere to represent. Te body of Crist, in general, focuses more on te concept of te curc tan on te kingdom. So many lives don t visibly demonstrate te significance God as given tem. Tey don t advertise God s kingdom well. One reason for tat is te curc as settled for buildings and programs instead of teacing men and women ow to access te autority of te kingdom. We ve ad curc, but we aven t experienced te kingdom. Witout our curces functioning in a kingdom-minded manner, believers are not being discipled to be te kingdom curc tat Crist came to build. In fact, Jesus only mentioned curc tree times in His eartly ministry, and all tree times are recorded in te kingdom-focused book of Mattew. 14 Te word kingdom, owever, is found fifty-four times in te same book. 15 We usually ear more about te curc tan te kingdom. We plant curces rater tan promote te kingdom. Our seminaries teac our future leaders ow to do curc rater tan ow to be about te kingdom. Now, we can t ave curc witout te kingdom, and te kingdom carries out its agenda troug te curc. Yet witout an open and accurate teacing on ow to

25 8 KINGDOM WOMAN live as kingdom men and women, we lack te direction to truly live out our destinies. Te Greek word for kingdom in te New Testament is basileia, wic means autority and rule. 16 A kingdom always includes tree components: a ruler, a realm of subjects under its rule, and te rules or governances. Te kingdom of God is te autoritative execution of His compreensive rule over all creation. Te kingdom agenda is simply te visible demonstration of te compreensive rule of God over every area of life. 17 God s kingdom transcends time, space, politics, denominations, cultures, and te realms of society. It is bot now (Mark 1:15) and not yet (Mattew 16:28), close by (Luke 17:21) and removed (Mattew 7:21). Te kingdom s realms include te individual, family, curc, and civil government. God as given guidelines for te operation of all four, and neglecting tese guidelines results in disorder and loss. Te main component upon wic all else rests in a kingdom is te autority of te ruler. Witout tat, tere is anarcy. Knowing tis, Satan made sure tat is first move was to try to subtly and deceitfully detrone te Ruler by failing to use te term Lord as God did wen A kingdom woman may be defined as a woman wo positions erself under and operates according to te rule of God over every area of er life. He referred to Himself in te beginning of Genesis as Lord God. Yawe, translated Lord God in te Bible, means master, and absolute ruler 18 and is te name God used to reveal Himself and His relationsip to us. Prior to God revealing Himself to umans, He was introduced as Eloim, te powerful Creator. Wen Satan spoke to Eve about eating te forbidden fruit, e did not refer to God as Lord God. Essentially, e stripped off te name Lord in Genesis 3:1: Indeed, as God said...? (nasb). Satan tried to reduce God s rulersip by beginning wit a subtle but effective twist in His name. Satan s goal in doing so was to pus Eve out from under God s kingdom definition and order.

26 Te SIGNIFICANCE of a Kingdom WOMAN 9 Wen bot Adam and Eve ate from te fruit in disobedience, tey cose to cange ow tey viewed God, removing te aspect of Master and Ruler. As a result, tey lost teir intimate fellowsip wit Him and wit eac oter. Fortunately, on te cross Jesus Crist reintroduced tis intimate fellowsip troug His sinless sacrifice and resurrection. We can enjoy unindered fellowsip wit God now as a result of Crist s atonement. However, tis only occurs wen we align ourselves under God as Lord God te Master and Ruler. Terefore, a kingdom woman may be defined as a woman wo positions erself under and operates according to te rule of God over every area of er life. Eve didn t start out on suc a great foot wen se decided to act on er own rater tan according to God s rule. Many women today still struggle wit turning over personal control in teir lives, tus opening temselves up to eartace, loss, and caos. Yet because of te grace and mercy of Jesus Crist, any woman can align erself under God and experience a transformed life. Crystal s Cronicles Kingdom woman. Tose words sound like some pretty ig stilettos to walk around in all day. Te trut of te matter is tat I know I m not tat woman. Se is someone I strive to become but wose roles and responsibilities seem like a lot to andle. Te very definition of a kingdom woman sets a ig bar. After all, were is tis woman wo is tis woman wo regularly and consistently positions erself under and operates according to God s complete rule over er life? O, I know. Se must be my neigbor. Se must be te woman wo sits next to me at curc or te lady wo always seems to ave te time to serve oters. Se must be te woman wo as been married for fifty-seven years or te woman wo is fifty-seven years old and as walked in remarkable purity. Se must be te woman wo walks wit te tattered and torn Bible or te woman wo keeps Jesus parapernalia on er desk at work. Se must be te woman wo never yells at er kids and te woman wo always cooks gourmet meals for er family. Se must be te woman wo as a work etic beyond reproac and wo lives in complete financial freedom because se regularly cooses frugality instead of fasion. Se maintains a modest waistline and arbors no addictions. Se must be every oter woman, tat is.

27 10 KINGDOM WOMAN Just like Eve, we women tend to spend more time analyzing wat we are not or wat we don t ave tan recognizing wo we were created to be. Satan s victory wit Eve started way before se ate tat fruit. Te bite was only te culmination of a demise tat began wen Eve entered a conversation wit te devil. And tat s wat we do a lot. We talk. We reearse on a daily basis wat we don t ave or wo we are not. We focus on te areas of our garden (our domain or our realm) tat seem just out of our reac or control. We take te seed of discontentment offered by te devil and inform our souls of our dissatisfaction, unappiness, or displeasure. Just like Eve we ave a coice. We can coose to believe wat God s Word says about wo we are and wo we are created to be, or we can entertain te lies planted by te enemy of our souls and cultivated by te culture we live in. Romans 10:17 says tat fait comes from earing te message, and te message is eard troug te word of Crist. And tat s wat tis book is You don t ave to seek about earing (and reading) wat God says anyone else s approval about wo you are as a woman created for His glory. for te life God as I desire to be te woman tat He created given you to live. me to be not te woman wom I tink I want to be or te woman te world tells me I sould be. It brings me great joy to tink of te detailed design and intricate effort tat God put fort wen making me. I m so glad tat I don t ave to aspire to be anyone else oter tan tat woman God wants me to be. You don t ave to seek anyone else s approval for te life God as given you to live. You don t ave to apologize for te strengt, fortitude, courage, talent, beauty, or intellect your Creator as given you. Ladies, we all are God s workmansip, created in Crist Jesus to do good works, wic God prepared in advance for us to do (Epesians 2:10). Kingdom woman. Tose four-inc red eels don t look easy to walk around in all day. But first looks can be deceiving. Te rigt soe made by te rigt designer and wit te rigt materials can be not just wearable but comfortable! God as designed a plan and a purpose for you. You are not just fearfully and wonderfully

28 Te SIGNIFICANCE of a Kingdom WOMAN 11 made (Psalm 139:14); you are created in te image of a radiant, magnificent God wo is full of beauty and splendor. So wear His glory well. Walk on His runway. More Tan Helpers An old saying goes, Women wo seek to be equal wit men lack ambition. Tink about tat for a second, because I don t want you to miss te potency of its point. So many women ave been taugt tat because God deemed woman as a elper for Adam, women are consequently less tan men. Women often ear tat tey are to be like te Holy Spirit in His role of elper. Yet a closer look at te Hebrew word used for elper in Scripture sould be eye-opening for you. Te Hebrew words translated elper suitable for im in te creation story are important because tey re surprisingly powerful. Tey are ezer and kenegdo. Te word ezer occurs twenty-one times in te Old Testament, wit only two of tose times referring to a woman. Te remaining usages refer to elp tat comes directly from God te Fater. 19 Here are some examples: Tere is none like unto te God of Jesurun, wo ridet upon te eaven in ty elp [ezer]. (Deuteronomy 33:26, kjv) Our soul waitet for te Lord: e is our elp [ezer] and our sield. (Psalm 33:20, kjv) Yet I am poor and needy; come quickly to me, O God. You are my elp [ezer]. (Psalm 70:5) Our elp [ezer] is in te name of te Lord. (Psalm 124:8) To distinguis ezer from every oter Old Testament use, wic referred to a stronger elp brougt by God, te word kenegdo was added. It literally means before your face, in your view, or purpose. 20 Some ave translated kenegdo to

29 12 KINGDOM WOMAN also mean a completion of or counterpart to. As you can see from te name tat God gave to Eve, ers isn t a role of subservience, maid service, or even tat of being a slave. Hers is a strong elp comparable to tat of God te Fater. Many people see te Bible as a book written wit a pessimistic or dismissive view of women. Carles Templeton, wo was once an evangelist and ten began doubting te Bible, succinctly stated tis opinion in Farewell to God: In te Bible women are secondary creatures and relatively unimportant and In te majority of te basic expressions of Cristianity, women remain subject to and secondary to men. 21 Tose, like Templeton, wo feel tat Scripture was created as a reflection of a misogynist worldview tat oppress and negates te value of women clearly aven t looked at te original language and context. Yet te very word God cose to use for woman s purpose and intention is te same word used to refer to Himself as te primary person in te Godead. God does not sy away from referring to Himself or defining Himself troug te use of feminine terms or imagery. Some examples include te following: God like a woman in labor (Isaia 42:14) God like a midwife (Psalm 22:9 10; 71:6; Isaia 66:9) God like a woman seeking a lost coin (Luke 15:8 10) God like a moter bear (Hosea 13:8) God like a moter: nursing er cildren (Numbers 11:12) not forgetting er cildren (Isaia 49:14 15) comforting er cildren (Isaia 66:13) birting and protecting Israel (Isaia 46:3 4) calling, olding, ealing, and feeding er cildren (Hosea 11:1 4) gatering er cildren like a moter en (Mattew 23:37) protecting er young (Psalm 17:8; 36:7; 57:1; 91:1 4) In fact, not only does God use feminine terminology and imagery to communicate major spiritual principles, but te primary reference to te curc trougout Scripture is also made wit feminine terminology (for example, te bride of Crist). Wen Jesus cose to use Mary as an example of personal disciplesip,

30 Te SIGNIFICANCE of a Kingdom WOMAN 13 He affirmed er in a way tat was contrary to te cultural norms of tat day for women. Rater tan upold te cultural expectation tat women ougt to be about ousework in te kitcen, as Marta was doing, Jesus specifically stated tat Mary ad cosen te better ting by engaging in teological study at te feet of Crist, wic was solely te practice of men learning at te feet of a rabbi in tat day. Jesus Crist not only esteemed Mary s decision as a woman, but He also commended it. In fact, God olds women in suc ig regard tat He will not even listen to a man s prayers wen e does not onor er as an equal eir in God s kingdom (1 Peter 3:7). God olds women in suc ig regard tat He will not even listen to a man s prayers wen e does not onor er as an equal eir in God s kingdom. God Created Woman; Adam Did Not God s creation of woman was not te result of Adam s request. It wasn t Adam wo said e needed someone in is life. Rater, God said it: It is not good tat te man sould be alone (Genesis 2:18, kjv). God saw te apparent need for a partner to fulfill te Dominion Covenant, so He created an ezer kenegdo. Adam took no part in te creation of Eve oter tan taking a nap. Eve s first calling was to God to fulfill His purpose for er life, wic in er case was to elp Adam. Her role as elpmate was not just a role of companionsip; it also included a significant role as collaborator in te dominion mandate. Yet many women today eiter because of divorce or a lack of kingdom men to even marry do not ave an Adam to elp. If you are one of tese women, take courage and pride in your calling, because God alone is your purpose. You ave been made for Him. As He said in Isaia, For your Maker is your usband te Lord Almigty is is name te Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; e is called te God of all te

31 14 KINGDOM WOMAN eart. Te Lord will call you back as if you were a wife deserted and distressed in spirit a wife wo married young, only to be rejected, says your God. (54:5 6) Weter you are married on eart or if God is your Husband (Isaia 54:5), your wort is far above any treasure. One A kingdom woman succeeds in conquering te Enemy s attempts to mess wit er life and te lives of te people se loves. of te most important truts you need to believe concerns your wort. You are significant. You are valuable. You are wort more tan jewels. As a kingdom woman wo fears te Lord, guard your value by first making sure you view yourself according to te value God as given to you. You are to do all you can to ensure tat oters treat you wit dignity. You are to be treated as a treasure, not as someone to be trased or used. I understand tat tere are situations were you may not be able to control ow you are treated, but tat doesn t mean you ave to acquiesce to it. You do not ave to internally accept someone else s denigration of you. It sould not affect your view of wo you are. As Eleanor Roosevelt said, No one can make you feel inferior witout your consent. 22 You are first and foremost a kingdom woman created for God s work. Your life, troug His sustaining strengt, ougt to be one of great purpose, spiritual power, and possibilities. Wen a kingdom woman retires for te evening, a frustrated and wornout devil ougt to be saying, I messed wit te wrong woman today. Tere is noting like a kingdom woman wo succeeds in conquering te enemy s attempts to mess wit er life and te lives of te people se loves. Tere is noting like a kingdom woman wo succeeds in finding and fulfilling te purpose for wic God as fasioned er. Tere is noting like a kingdom woman fully formed.

32 PART I THE FOUNDATION OF A KINGDOM WOMAN = PURPOSE <

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34 1 A WOMAN OF VALUE Wen a kingdom woman begins er day, eaven, eart, and ell take notice. Wen se nurtures and advises te man se loves, e can do little to resist er. Wen se offers care, comfort, and encouragement to er friends and relatives, tey are able to go farter, faster, and in confidence because of er inspiration and reassurance. Her cildren rise up and call er blessed (Proverbs 31:28, esv). Oter women turn to er for wise counsel and a compassionate ear. Her curc relies on er faitful service. Se is a vital contributor to culture and a gatekeeper at er ome to keep out te negative and promote te positive. Wen we examine te istory of te Cristian fait, kingdom women (bot married and single) are everywere. Kingdom women trougout te Bible saved lives and nations. It was Jocebed wo intervened on bealf of er son Moses (Exodus 2). Because of er watcful protection, Moses was later used as te deliverer of Israel (Exodus 3). It was Moses wife, Zippora, wo saved Moses life wen God was going to punis im for is refusal to follow a simple command (Exodus 4:24 26). Ester s bravery gave te opportunity for te Jewis people to defend temselves from wat would ave been utter anniilation (Ester 7 8). Rut s refusal to return to er own people because of er dedication to er moter-in-law, Naomi, led to te ongoing line of te Messia (Rut 4:18 22). Raab was instrumental in te victory of Israel over Jerico (Josua 2). Mary carried God s Son in er womb (Luke 1:30 35). Te clearest profile of a kingdom woman tat I ave ever found in te Bible is in Proverbs 31. Wat is interesting, toug, is tat in all of my study of Scripture, I ave never found a corollary passage for men as Proverbs 31 is

35 18 KINGDOM WOMAN for women. It could be tat men need te wole Bible to get it rigt, wile women just need a capter. Te Proverbs 31 woman is te allmark of kingdom women. I like to call er a woman for all seasons. Se is strong, intelligent, capable, giving, resourceful, efficient, spiritually minded, and muc more. Now, don t close tis book just yet. I know tat sounds like se is a perfect woman, and you may feel tat er standard is set too ig to actually reac. But te Proverbs 31 woman is not te model of a perfect woman. Neiter is a kingdom woman called to perfection. Te Proverbs 31 woman is not te model of a perfect woman. Neiter is a kingdom woman called to perfection. Let s use a stay-at-ome mom as just one example. A kingdom woman is not someone wo can multitask perfectly wile also omescooling tree very different cildren, serving on four curc committees, carpooling eleven neigborood kids back and fort to soccer, keeping er ome spotless, coacing te spelling-bee team, functioning as a killer CEO in te workplace, making er usband ave te best nigt of is life eac and every evening, and maintaining a size 6 figure well into er fifties all wile cooking only organic, nongenetically modified foods and making every meal from scratc. Tat woman doesn t exist. And we didn t put tis book togeter to make you tink tat you sould be er eiter. In fact, from my experience pastoring a curc for nearly four decades and spending tousands of ours counseling bot women and men, te issue is often tat women are trying to do too muc and all at once. Women, you can be a Proverbs 31 woman and more but tat doesn t mean you do it all at te same time. One of te most important principles for you as a kingdom woman is tat your life flows troug different seasons. Eac of tese seasons carries wit it different time constraints, blessings, and demands. To try to do all tings witout being cognizant of te season you are in is te surest way to burnout and even bitterness.

36 A WOMAN OF VALUE 19 Te primary foundation of being a kingdom woman doesn t include a million different tings done a million different ways. Te primary foundation is actually simple and straigtforward. It is located at te end of Proverbs 31. After listing everyting tat tis particular woman did, te verse says, Carm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman wo fears te Lord is to be praised. Give er te reward se as earned, and let er works bring er praise at te city gate. (Verses 30 31) Wat sets a kingdom woman apart from any oter woman boils down to er fear of God. Her reverence determines er actions, tougts, words, and priorities. Witout tat, te demands of life would overwelm any woman. Fear te Lord A woman wo fears te Lord will receive te praise tat is due er. Her works and te products of er ands will give er te recognition and validation tat are ers alone. Wen a woman understands wo se is and ow God made er wen se pursues er destiny in ligt of ow God created er to function wat se does will produce remarkable results. Tis is because it will be in line wit God s will. Wat too many women frequently do is base teir decisions on trying to please oters, or trying to earn acceptance, appreciation, or a sense of wort from teir decisions, appearance, or actions. Yet God never said tat you would receive praise for trying to please oters. Te primary influence in a kingdom woman s life is God. His voice is te loudest. He is te One se seeks to please. Te basis of ow a kingdom woman functions comes out of er fear of God. How se prioritizes er ome and family, organizes er life, makes decisions, cooses investments, and develops er skills occurs from er efforts to

37 20 KINGDOM WOMAN advance God s kingdom. If er priorities are rooted in anyting else, tey will lead to weariness and busyness rater tan fruitfulness and abundance. Te simplest way I know to define wat it means to fear God is to take God seriously. It means to place wat God says and wat God requires as te igest priority in your life. Fearing God does not mean tat you are scared of Him. Fear is better understood as reverence or awe. It means to old in igest esteem. A kingdom woman fears te Lord in every area of er life. Te marketplace does not control a woman wo fears God. Te television, magazines, blogs, and social media sites do not influence er away from Him. Her friends don t dictate er emotions or decisions. Te culture doesn t define er. Even er own ambitions don t dominate er. Rater, te primary influence in a kingdom woman s life is God. His voice is te loudest. He is te One se seeks to please. Her reverence of Him determines er coices. Te Results of Fearing God Yes, te Proverbs 31 woman did a lot. Se earned er usband s trust, se made clotes for er family, se got er food from te coicest providers, and se invested in a small business wit er earnings from planting a vineyard. Se elped te poor, took care of tose witin er ome, and dressed erself and er cildren in quality clotes. Se brougt respect to er usband and wisdom to tose around er. Keep in mind, se lived in a day and a culture were planting a vineyard did not mean tat se did it all on er own. Te passage said er arms were strong (verse 17), so we know se did do some of it. But based on te cultural norms of te day, it is likely tat se ired oters to work in er vineyard. Se would ave ad maidservants wo elped around te ome, wased clotes, prepared food, and more. Wen you break down all tat te Proverbs 31 woman did and translate it into contemporary times, it really doesn t sound as lofty and unattainable. Essentially, se onored and respected er usband. Se fed and cloted er family wit te ealtiest and finest se could afford. Se invested te use of er skills in a personal business, spoke wisely and kindly to oters, dressed erself

38 A WOMAN OF VALUE 21 attractively, and elped te poor. All of tose actions can easily translate into your world today. I don t want you to feel tat wat se attained is so far out of reac from wat God is able to do troug you. Because it s not. Wat it comes down to is tat er fear and reverence for God caused er to do te best se could wit wat se ad to promote God s kingdom and goodness in er own life and te lives of tose around er. Help Is Not Bad An important principle tat is often overlooked wen we examine te life of te Proverbs 31 woman is tat se was not too proud to get elp. In verse 15 we read, Se gets up wile it is still dark; se provides food for er family and portions for er servant girls. Servant girls is not a term tat we use today. In ancient Hebrew society, it referred to a andmaid or elper. It is a small reference to a very important trut. As I mentioned earlier, te kingdom woman in Proverbs 31 didn t try to do it all on er own. Se ad elp. Se was diligent, resourceful, and productive, yet se didn t do it all alone. Tere is a stigma today for Cristian women in particular about asking for or using elp. For some reason people ave come to believe tat exaustion is close For some reason people ave come to believe tat exaustion is close to godliness is written somewere in te Bible. to godliness is written somewere in te Bible. It is not. Te fastest way to get yourself off track from fulfilling God s kingdom destiny for you is to view yourself as a superwoman wo as to do it all on er own. Te key to your destiny is umbly acknowledging your dependence on God and maximizing all He provides you, even if tat includes accepting or using te elp of oters. For example, in te corporate world, a manager would not be considered a great manager if se tried to do everyone s job erself. A great manager knows