Restored. Session 2 SAMUEL 19:1-15. God s leaders steward opportunities to increase the trust others place in them.

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Session 9 Restored God s leaders steward opportunities to increase the trust others place in them. 2 SAMUEL 19:1-15 Trust is a fragile commodity, hard to build and easy to destroy.

1 Session 9 Restored God s leaders steward opportunities to increase the trust others place in them. 2 SAMUEL 19:1-15 Trust is a fragile commodity, hard to build and easy to destroy. How does a leader build trust? The truly great leaders allow their followers to see their humanity in such a way that creates a strong personal connection. However, effective leaders do not let their own griefs and losses prevent them from doing what is best for everyone. How does a leader s public demonstration of vulnerability change your view of that leader? Do you view it as a strength or a weakness? Explain. 82 S ug ge s t e d Use Week of October 29

2 UNDERSTAND THE CONTEXT 2 SAMUEL 18:1 19:43 A well-known pastor once commented on how Jesus violated many of the so-called axioms of leadership. One of these is the assumption that leaders must never show personal vulnerability in the midst of a crisis. Jesus did this on the eve of His death in Gethsemane. He admitted that He was troubled and anxious in His soul. The human side of David was evident in the events surrounding the rebellion of Absalom. His open demonstrations of grief and his willingness to be in the thick of battle even at the risk of his own life attracted those in his day to follow him and to restore him to the position of king. The same is true today. Leaders in any arena who courageously show their own humanity become more trustworthy in the esteem of their followers. After evacuating Jerusalem, David gathered his troops and supporters in Mahanaim [may huh NAY im] in Gilead, east of the Jordan River. From that location, he began to organize his army for an attack on Absalom. Though willing to fight with his men, David s followers pleaded with him to not do so but rather provide leadership from the city. The king agreed to their counsel. David instructed his commanders to preserve Absalom s life. The troops moved to the forest of Ephraim where the terrain was so rugged and precarious that more casualties occurred from the terrain than the actual warfare itself. Absalom himself was entangled in a tree, suspended in midair. News of this was brought to Joab. In spite of the king s instructions, he killed Absalom. As a result, David s grief became almost unrelenting. The story of Absalom s revolt and death highlight David as a father more than as a king. Leaders are tempted to neglect their families at the expense of their work and service. Any evaluation of David as a father is tinged with elements of subjectivity, but it is obvious that he loved his son Absalom. Commitment to family is one aspect of how leaders build trust with followers. Notice ways David expressed his vulnerability in this passage. How did that impact his ability to lead? Session 9 : Restored 83

3 EXPLORE THE TEXT MOURNING (2 SAM. 19:1-4) 1 It was reported to Joab, The king is weeping. He s mourning over Absalom. 2 That day s victory was turned into mourning for all the troops because on that day the troops heard, The king is grieving over his son. 3 So they returned to the city quietly that day like troops come in when they are humiliated after fleeing in battle. 4 But the king covered his face and cried loudly, My son Absalom! Absalom, my son, my son! VERSES 1-2 At times, certain roles carry much more weight and significance than others. Success in one role doesn t always compensate for loss in another one. As a military leader, David had won a great victory. As a father, he had suffered a terrible loss. Losses in one s family life are rarely overcome by victories in one s professional life. The victory that had been won over the rebels was quickly turned into mourning for all the troops. Word spread among the ranks that David was grieving for his son Absalom. While anyone can appreciate how David responded, the fact remained that just a short time before, Absalom was the leader of an army that sought to kill David and his soldiers. The quick turn of events, along with the attending human emotions, created confusion in the minds of David s loyalists. VERSES 3-4 Troops who were victorious in battle returned with great fanfare and acclaim. Their citizens would cheer them and their leaders would praise them publicly and perhaps give them gifts. This was done to affirm and show appreciation for the great risk they took by engaging in warfare and conducting themselves with courage and valor. But David s troops returned to the city quietly that day, as those who have been humiliated after fleeing in battle. As David dropped his head in sorrow, so his men dropped theirs in shame. It was as if they had been defeated in the battle rather than emerging victorious. Are there times when the cost of a victory should outweigh the joy of that victory? Explain. 84 Explore the Bible Personal Study Guide

4 It is unrealistic to expect our leaders to be stoic in the face of great loss. There is, however, a call on the life of a leader to recognize how their emotions impact the emotions of others, especially those who follow them. This is not to deny leaders their own humanity; rather, it is a reminder to help those whom they lead to process and understand their own emotions. When handled appropriately and to the best of one s ability, times of grief in the life of a leader can deepen a relationship of trust between them and their followers. BIBLE SKILL: Compare similar passages for insight. Joab s confrontation with David was not the first time someone confronted David about his actions. Review 1 Samuel 17:28-30 (Eliab), 1 Samuel 25:20-35 (Abigail), and 2 Samuel 12:1-17 (Nathan) and compare these situations to 2 Samuel 19. How did David respond in each situation? What can we learn about how to respond when confronted about our actions? CONFRONTATION (2 SAM. 19:5-8) 5 Then Joab went into the house to the king and said, Today you have shamed all your soldiers those who saved your life as well as your sons, your wives, and your concubines 6 by loving your enemies and hating those who love you! Today you have made it clear that the commanders and soldiers mean nothing to you. In fact, today I know that if Absalom were alive and all of us were dead, it would be fine with you! 7 Now get up! Go out and encourage your soldiers, for I swear by the Lord that if you don t go out, not a man will remain with you tonight. This will be worse for you than all the trouble that has come to you from your youth until now! 8 So the king got up and sat in the city gate, and all the people were told: Look, the king is sitting in the city gate. Then they all came into the king s presence. Meanwhile, each Israelite had fled to his tent. Session 9 : Restored 85

5 VERSES 5-6 Joab confronted David about the impact his grief had on others. The words of David s commanding general seem harsh. The urgency of the situation mandated in his mind a dramatic response. Joab did not wait for an invitation from the king but boldly went to David and delivered a pointed assessment, Today, you have shamed all your soldiers. Without advocating insensitivity, it can still be appropriate at times to point out to one who is grieving how he or she is being perceived by others. In his position of leadership, David influenced people in a way unrivaled by any other. There may be times when a leader must find a way to suspend the personal demonstration of grief in order to lead people in an affirmation of God s blessing. Perhaps for shock value, Joab spoke to the king in a brazen manner. He accused David of showing love to his enemies and hate to those who loved him. Love and hatred were often used in the Old Testament to denote loyalty and disloyalty (1 Sam. 20:17). Joab employed exaggerated speech to move David to action. He denounced David for valuing Absalom over the rest of the people who were loyal to the king. These were strong words, and possibly dangerous since they were spoken to the king by the man who was responsible for his son s death. Yet extreme situations may require equally bold solutions. Failing to affirm the victory could have disastrous consequences for the nation. Joab seemed to be telling David that his grief was a luxury the nation could not afford at that moment. VERSE 7 Immediate action was sought by Joab. In verses 5-6, he used the Hebrew word for today (yom) five times to stress the urgency of the situation. In light of that, he instructed David to get up and go out to his soldiers and offer encouragement to them. Without any subtlely, Joab defined the current reality for David. If the king failed to act, all of his soldiers would leave him. The result of such a desertion would be worse than anything David had experienced to that point. Grief often freezes us, even in those times when decisive action is desperately needed. However insensitive we might view the words of Joab, the truth was that as the king David needed to act quickly. Failure to do so would squander an opportunity to rebuild his position as the king of Israel and Judah. 86 Explore the Bible Personal Study Guide

6 VERSE 8 To his credit, David listened to the rebuke of Joab and mustered the strength to go and sit before the people in the city gate. Evidently there were none still waiting there to hear from him, indicating that Joab s assessment was correct. Yet word quickly spread and the people came into the king s presence. There is no record of David s speaking to the people, yet there is a profound sense given in the passage that the crisis had been averted. Perhaps simply seeing the king was enough for his followers to secure their continuing loyalty. Every person knows disappointment and loss in life. At those moments, we can express appreciation to others in spite of our own disappointments. One of the strongest evidences of the power of Christ in us is when we rise above our own circumstances and reach out to others with kindness and gratitude. How can a person s response in difficulty reveal his or her trust in God or lack of trust? What attitudes should we exhibit when showing appreciation that point others to Christ? RESTORATION (2 SAM. 19:9-15) 9 People throughout all the tribes of Israel were arguing among themselves, saying, The king rescued us from the grasp of our enemies, and he saved us from the grasp of the Philistines, but now he has fled from the land because of Absalom. 10 But Absalom, the man we anointed over us, has died in battle. So why do you say nothing about restoring the king? 11 King David sent word to the priests Zadok and Abiathar: Say to the elders of Judah, Why should you be the last to restore the king to his palace? The talk of all Israel has reached the king at his house. 12 You are my brothers, my flesh and blood. So why should you be the last to restore the king? 13 And tell Amasa, Aren t you my flesh and blood? May God punish me and do so severely if you don t become commander of my army from now on instead of Joab! 14 So he won over all the men of Judah, and they unanimously sent word to the king: Come back, you and all your servants. 15 Then the king returned. Session 9 : Restored 87

7 When he arrived at the Jordan, Judah came to Gilgal to meet the king and escort him across the Jordan. VERSES 9-10 We need to remember that twenty thousand men were killed in battle in the forest of Ephraim. While David grieved his son, no doubt many other Israelites were grieving the loss of their loved ones too. Grief often brings inaction; this was true among the tribes of Israel and Judah. Although the rebellion had been put down, David was still in exile from his capitol city. Absalom had been chosen as king of Israel (2 Sam. 16:18), which means that David was no longer king. If the people desired him to rule over them again, the necessary steps would have to be taken for that to happen. No doubt there was anxiety on the part of some who wondered how vengeful David would be, while others were still lamenting the loss of their own loved ones at the hand of his soldiers. The result was disunity among the people and arguing in the nation about what should be done. The people remembered how David had led them capably in the past and how he had been successful in his kingship. No doubt they had forgotten how much they owed David in their transfer of allegiance to Absalom. Since Absalom was no longer alive, something needed to be done. Opinions were voiced among the tribes of Israel that it was wrong for them to do and say nothing about restoring the king. VERSES While the tribes of Israel implicitly decided to restore David to the throne, David s own tribe, the tribe of Judah, had to be motivated to do so. They too had sided with Absalom. Although nothing indicates that David took the initiative with the northern tribes, he decisively reached out to his own kinsmen about his restoration. His faithful priests Zadok and Abiathar encouraged Judah to restore the king to his palace. David affirmed them as his brothers, his flesh and blood. Wisdom is a requirement for spiritual leadership. Effective leaders understand the delicate balance between decisiveness and impudence. When opportunity arises to build trust, God s leaders take advantage of those divine moments. Without this, there is no leadership. 88 Explore the Bible Personal Study Guide

8 How can believers maintain a balance between letting God be God and seizing God moments in life? VERSE 13 David continued to show bold leadership in the process of his restoration. He replaced Joab as commander-in-chief with Amasa [uh MAY suh], who had sided with Absalom. This courageous step served two purposes. First, it punished Joab for disregarding David s direct order to spare Absalom. Second, it sent a message of reconciliation to those who had supported the rebellion. Building trust is often more a matter of lending it to others with the belief that they will reciprocate in like manner. VERSES What a great affirmation of David s leadership: So he won over all the men of Judah. They invited the king to once again rule over them. Leaders in God s kingdom do not rule by mandate but invitation. People can t be driven; they must be led. Compulsion is a poor substitute for true leadership. As a result of David s action, the people of God were reunited and continued bloodshed was avoided. The great king who was once a shepherd boy practiced those ancient lessons. He shepherded God s people in ways that endeared himself to them and earned their trust. This remains the pattern for leaders today. How did David s actions restore trust and unity? What is the relationship between trust and unity? Can you have one without the other? KEY DOCTRINE: War and Peace It is the duty of Christians to seek peace with all men on principles of righteousness. Session 9 : Restored 89

9 IN MY CONTEXT People must be aware of how their emotions impact the emotions of others in their lives. Believers can express appreciation to others even in the midst of their own disappointments. People can be united by trusting in God and in His leaders. In what ways have you allowed your emotions to negatively impact other believers who are close to you? What actions do you need to take to be a positive influence on others? Reflect on Psalm 37:3. List some practical ways you can trust in the Lord and do what is good this week. Memorize this verse. Discuss ways your group can foster unity within the group and church. What actions can your Bible study group take to build trust and unity? Prayer Needs 90 Explore the Bible Personal Study Guide

Restored. Session 2 SAMUEL 19:1-15. God s leaders steward opportunities to increase the trust others place in them.

Restored. Session 2 SAMUEL 19:1-15. God s leaders steward opportunities to increase the trust others place in them. Session 9 Restored God s leaders steward opportunities to increase the trust others place in them. 2 SAMUEL 19:1-15 Trust is a fragile commodity, hard to build and easy to destroy. How does a leader build