a manual for parent and student Bar& Bat Mitzvah Handbook TEMPLE NER TAMID r BLOOMFIELD, NEW JERSEY

Transcription

1 a manual for parent and student Bar& Bat Mitzvah Handbook TEMPLE NER TAMID r BLOOMFIELD, NEW JERSEY

2 TABLE OF CONTENTS FROM RABBI KUSHNER... 3 KEEPING BAR & BAT MITZVAH IN PERSPECTIVE... 4 REQUIREMENTS AND EXPECTATIONS... 6 B NAI MITZVAH SCHEDULING PROCESS... 7 WHAT DOES A BAR/BAT MITZVAH DO?... 8 SHALIACH TZIBUR... 8 D VAR TORAH... 8 K RIAT HA-TORAH... 8 MATERIALS... 9 IMPORTANT NOTE... 9 WHO ELSE CAN PARTICIPATE IN THE SERVICE? SPEAKING PARTS: ALIYOT NON-SPEAKING PARTS PARTICIPATION OF NON-JEWS INVOLVEMENT OF YOUNGER SIBLINGS AND CHILDREN PREPARING FOR BAR/BAT MITZVAH B NAI MITZVAH ORIENTATION MEETINGS ONE-YEAR PREPARATORY MEETING TUTORING LESSONS AND REHEARSALS THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW ONEG SHABBAT KIDDUSH ARE YOU THINKING OF HAVING YOUR RECEPTION AT TEMPLE NER TAMID? FOR FURTHER READING TALMUD TORAH/COMMITMENT TO JEWISH LEANING AVODAH/JEWISH LEARNING GEMILUT CHASADIM/ACTS OF LOVING-KINDNESS THE B MITZVOTAV JOURNAL THE 613 MITZVOT SOME SUGGESTIONS FOR YOUR SE UDAT MITZVAH/RECEPTION FOR BAR MITZVAHS, A REVIVAL OF SPIRIT MORE THAN JUST A PARTY MAKING THE JOURNEY A STEP-BY-STEP SEQUENCE THE SERVICE REMOVAL OF THE SEFER TORAH THE K RIAH / READING THE PARENTAL BLESSING HAGBAH AND G LILAH THE HAFTARAH THE DISCUSSION CONGREGATIONAL CONGRATULATIONS THE CONCLUSION OF WORSHIP THE KIDDUSH THE SE UDAT MITZVAH / RECEPTION ALIYAH PRIMER HONORS GUIDELINES FOR WRITING A D VAR TORAH GUIDELINES FOR THE PARENTAL PRAYER SAMPLE PRAYERS THE BAR/BAT MITZVAH BROCHURE DIRECTIONS USE OF FACILITY CONTRACT ADDENDUM TO FACILITY RENTAL AGREEMENT FEE SCHEDULE FOR FACILITY USE APPLICATION FOR TEMPLE FACILITY ROOM LAYOUT ALTERNATIVES ROOM LAYOUT KASHRUT GUIDELINES FOR TEMPLE NER TAMID SOME BASIC TERMS OF KASHRUT PHOTOGRAPHER S GUIDELINES GLOSSARY SO... YOU STILL HAVE A FEW QUESTIONS?

3 t BEGINNINGS 2

4 FROM RABBI STEVEN KUSHNER Bar/Bat Mitzvah is not a verb. Put another way, it is religiously incorrect to say, I was Bat Mitzvah-ed. Bar/Bat Mitzvah is not something that is done to you. Bar/Bat Mitzvah is a state of being. You become Bar Mitzvah. You become Bat Mitzvah. Automatically. When you come of age. And what we do, when a child becomes Bat or Bar Mitzvah, is to celebrate her/his entry into Jewish adulthood. That is, we call the child to the Torah. The most sacred honor of our people. T his is, more or less, the standard speech with which I begin the Torah service of a Bar/Bat Mitzvah celebration. Those of you who have been around a while are familiar with it. Some even know it by heart. (I ve noticed a few of our regulars lip-syncing with me.) Yet as much as I ve tried to vary the introduction, I find I keep coming back to this message. Because it is an important one to hear. Even over and over again. There can be little doubt that the Bar/Bat Mitzvah celebration has come to embody both the bright and dark sides of Judaism American-Style. We know the excesses. They ve been elevated to legendary lore. But we also know the power, the beauty, the wonder of it all. Indeed, were Bar/Bat Mitzvah not so filled with the potential for meaning, you would not be holding this book right now. Welcome (back) to the journey of discovery. O ne of the things I ve learned about Bar/Bat Mitzvah over the years is that we often confuse the things we need to understand with the things we need to know. How many times I ve seen a parent in the front row of the sanctuary taking copious notes during our family rehearsal. And no doubt, keeping things in order and under control will prove invaluable when all is said and done. That is why we have put this manual together for you. To help you manage the details and not the other way around. By the same token, the most valuable (and ultimately rewarding) information is not the specifics of how as much as the generalities of why. So as you peruse and use this collection of ideas and guidelines, all of which I hope will help make your journey as easy and enjoyable as possible, I also offer you on the next page some basic premises which give meaning to Bar and Bat Mitzvah. More important, they are the essentials through which Bar/Bat Mitzvah gives meaning to our lives. 3

5 KEEPING BAR & BAT MITZVAH IN PERSPECTIVE BAR/BAT MITZVAH IS ABOUT THE ACCEPTANCE OF RESPONSIBILITY. In the final analysis, this is the bottom line of becoming Bar and Bat Mitzvah. Its not about acquiring the skill of k riah the reading of Torah. Rather, it s about acquiring the skill of responding to a challenge. A mitzvah. This is how Judaism defines maturity. SOME THOUGHTS WORTH YOUR CONSIDERATION TORAH IS THE CENTER OF JUDAISM. Everything we do as Jews, everything we believe, everything we value revolves around Torah. Torah is the testimony of our peoples encounter with God. And however you interpret those events in the wilderness of Sinai some three millennia ago, what cannot be dismissed is the sacredness with which our ancestors have embraced this legacy. This is why the first mitzvah we expect our children to fulfill is to stand at Torah. BAR/BAT MITZVAH IS A COMMUNITY OBSERVANCE. It is not by coincidence that we choose to hold this initiation ceremony in public. To be a Jew means to live within a covenantal relationship not only with God but with other Jews as well. Bar/Bat Mitzvah marks the entry of the child as a full-fledged member of the community; the awarding of an aliyah (being called to the Torah) is a gift of the Jewish people. For this reason the marking of the child s coming of age takes place in the synagogue - the communal home. THE BAR/BAT MITZVAH CEREMONY IS NOT A PERFORMANCE; ITS A CELEBRATION. The synagogue is not a theater and the bimah is not a stage and the congregation is not an audience. More to the point, the only mistake one can make at a Bar/Bat Mitzvah is to lose sight of this truth. TRY TO THINK OF THE RECEPTION WHICH FOLLOWS NOT AS A SEPARATE EVENT BUT AS A CONTINUATION OF THE CELEBRATION. In fact, Judaism has a formal word for the meal after a Bar/Bat Mitzvah: a Seudat Mitzvah; a meal in honor of the performance of a mitzvah. It, too, is a sacred gathering. This is not to say that it must be solemn; it is to say, however, that the spirit of the morning s celebration should be perpetuated through the performance of mitzvot. The recitation of blessings and the setting aside of a portion of ones bounty for the poor demonstrate that the mornings celebration was not an isolated event but a standard from which to follow. THE MEANING OF BAR/BAT MITZVAH IS ENDURING ONLY IF IT TAKES PLACE WITHIN A CONTEXT OF CONTINUED JEWISH GROWTH. Being Bat or Bar Mitzvah is not the experience of a lifetime, it is a lifetime experience - a state of being that remains with us throughout our lives. Indeed, the true measure of performance comes not on the day of one s Bat or Bar Mitzvah, but on the days that follow. In other words, Bar or Bat Mitzvah should be thought of as Jewish commencement, marking not an end point but a beginning - beginning of a lifetime of mitzvot, a beginning of a lifetime of learning. As such, it is our firm belief that the Bar/Bat Mitzvah ceremony is validated and enhanced by a commitment to continue religious education to Confirmation and participation within our Temple Youth Group. 4

6 r Requirements & Expectations r B nai Mitzvah Scheduling Process r What Does a Bar/Bat Mitzvah Do? r What Does the Parent Do? r Who Else Can Participate in the Service? r Preparing For Bar/Bat Mitzvah r Things You Need To Know r Are You Thinking of Having Your Reception at Temple Ner Tamid? c BASICS 5

7 REQUIREMENTS AND EXPECTATIONS ELIGIBILITY The celebration of Bar/Bat Mitzvah at Temple Ner Tamid is a privilege accorded only to members in good standing (see below). Each child must be 13 years old and registered within the Religious School of Temple Ner Tamid at the time of Bar/Bat Mitzvah, having successfully met all attendance requirements and having completed at least four consecutive years of religious education. FINANCIAL OBLIGATIONS The member s financial obligations to the congregation are required to be on a current basis one month prior to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah ceremony. Additionally, there are various costs incurred by the Temple. The Bar/Bat Mitzvah fee will be automatically added to your Temple billing statement. All questions should be directed to the Vice-President for Finance. SHABBAT ATTENDANCE Temple Ner Tamid requires all B nai Mitzvah students (accompanied by at least one parent) to attend at least two Shabbat services per month for the 1-year period prior to their being called to the Torah. We do this for two reasons. First, it strengthens familiarity for both student and parent. The more you are present the more comfortable you will become at services. Second, we strongly believe that Bar/Bat Mitzvah ought not be an isolated event but a celebration within a context. That context, we believe, is community worship. B MITZVOTAV A thirteen-step mitzvah program, each child will perform thirteen specific mitzvot during their Bar/Bat Mitzvah year within the categories of Torah (study), Avodah (worship), and G milut Hasadim (acts of lovingkindness) including the creation of his/her own individual mitzvah project of at least four-hours of community service. Students begin the program nine months before their Bar/Bat Mitzvah when one-on-one study starts with the Cantor. Students are individually mentored by the Cantor, Cantorial Assistant, and/or the Rabbi as part of their weekly meetings. Additionally, every child keeps a Mitzvah Journal where they record their impressions and experiences. Approximately half-way through the process, the student will meet with the Cantor to discuss their personal mitzvah project. Please see the Mitzvah section in this Handbook for more information. MEETINGS WITH CANTOR, CANTORIAL ASSISTANT & RABBI The period of preparation for Bar/Bat Mitzvah begins approximately 7 months before the scheduled date. During that time the student will meet regularly with the Cantor, Cantorial Assistant for tutoring and rehearsals. Additionally, the student will meet with the Rabbi on a weekly basis during the last 6-8 weeks. Each student is expected to honor the time commitment for these meetings and be prompt. If you cannot keep your appointment, please let the Cantor, Cantorial Assistant and/or Rabbi know far enough in advance so that they may adjust their calendars accordingly. 6

8 B NAI MITZVAH SCHEDULING PROCESS WHEN BAR/BAT MITZVAHS ARE HELD The celebration of Bar/Bat Mitzvah at Temple Ner Tamid may be held only at Shabbat or festival morning services from September through June. Certain dates during those months will not be available in order to accommodate congregational programming and clergy schedules. HOW DATES ARE ASSIGNED At the beginning of every school year a committee composed of the Rabbi, Cantor, B nai Mitzvah Coordinator, Education Director and a Religious Living representative meets to assign B nai Mitzvah dates for the incoming 5th grade class (including the oldest children of the incoming 4 th grade class). Children are scheduled based upon their birth dates and, generally, in birth order. No student may celebrate a Bar or Bat Mitzvah prior to his or her thirteenth birthday. As the number of available Shabbat mornings are often fewer than the number of B nai Mitzvah students in a given year, many of our students are assigned to celebrate their Bar or Bat Mitzvah with another student. Even if a single date is initially assigned, if needed at a later date, another child may be added to create a joint or double celebration. In order to accommodate individual schedules, a letter will be mailed to the families for B nai Mitzvah assignment about one month prior to the Date Scheduling Meeting. The letter, introducing the process of B nai Mitzvah scheduling, will ask each family two things: are there any dates in the year of Bar/Bat Mitzvah on which the family would prefer to not be assigned and is the family planning on having their Se udat Mitzvah / Reception at the synagogue. This latter information will be helpful in avoiding conflicts for use of the Temple. Each family will have approximately two weeks to share this information in writing with the committee. If doubling is necessary, the committee will make every effort to pair students according to their individual strengths. If there are special circumstances for a child which the committee may not be aware of, the family should communicate such in response to the initial letter. WHEN STUDENTS ARE PAIRED FOR B NAI MITZVAH While we appreciate that the assignment of a single Bar or Bat Mitzvah date is preferable to a double, every effort has been made to maintain the inclusiveness and intimacy of a single in the double ceremony as well. Moreover, the levels of student and family participation are virtually identical between the two ceremonies. For a more detailed illustration of the Shabbat morning Bar/Bat Mitzvah service and the differences between a single and double ceremony, please refer to the Step-By-Step Sequence outline in the Appendix section of this Handbook. A SPECIAL NOTE TO PARENTS OF DOUBLES If your child is scheduled to have a double, we hope you will make every effort to reach out to the family with whom you will be sharing the date. Even though your part of that day s celebration will be unique and special to you, there are any number of areas (e.g., decisions about bimah flowers, brochure colors, oneg arrangements) where cooperation and coordination is most valuable. We advise you to connect with each other as soon as possible. 7

9 WHAT DOES A BAR/BAT MITZVAH DO? There are basically four areas of participation for a Bar/Bat Mitzvah at a Shabbat morning service: to be a shaliach tzibur / leader of worship, to chant from the Torah and the Haftarah, and to offer a d var Torah or teaching on the week s Torah portion. SHALIACH TZIBUR One of the oldest and most prestigious roles of the synagogue is to be the Shaliach Tzibur. Literally the Representative of the Community, the Shaliach Tzibur leads the congregation in prayer. At Temple Ner Tamid, each Bar/Bat Mitzvah student joins with Rabbi Kushner, Cantor Greenberg, and Cantorial Assistant Ronni Pressman in this sacred role. Most of the Hebrew prayers for this have been learned in Religious School; Cantor Greenberg will meet with each Bar/Bat Mitzvah student about one year prior to his/her date to assess proficiency. The basic Hebrew prayers expected of a Bar/Bat Mitzvah are: Kiddush Yotzeir Shema / V Ahavta Avot-Imahot Gevurot Torah Blessings Haftarah Blessings In the instance of a double B nai Mitzvah ceremony, the liturgy will be shared but the amount of liturgy from which the Bar/Bat Mitzvah would normally lead will be expanded to accommodate two students. The specific Hebrew prayers to be additionally learned will be determined in consultation with the Cantor. D VAR TORAH Prior to the reading of Torah, the Bar/Bat Mitzvah will deliver a brief (3-4 minute) introduction to the week s Torah portion. This teaching will be prepared in consultation with the Rabbi. Guidelines for the preparation of a d var Torah may be found in the Appendix of this Handbook. K RIAT HA-TORAH Each Bar/Bat Mitzvah assumes the role of Ba al(at) K riah / Torah Reader for the day. This entails the learning of four (4) keriot or selections from the week s Torah portion, which usually amounts to verses. The Torah is unvocalized (without the diacritical vowels or accents); moreover, each student is expected to learn the trop or traditional cantillation melody. These skills are taught by Cantorial Assistant Ronni Pressman and Cantor Greenberg. The Bar/Bat Mitzvah will chant the Torah blessings only over the 4 th and final keriah, known as the maftir. (The previous aliyot are given to family members and friends.) 8

10 HAFTARAH Following the reading of Torah, the Bar/Bat Mitzvah student will chant the Haftarah or secondary biblical reading. Like the Torah reading, the Haftarah is chanted according to a specific melody to be learned from Cantor Greenberg and Cantorial Assistant Ronni Pressman. The amount of verses to be read will be determined by the Cantor. FRIDAY NIGHT It is customary for the Bar/Bat Mitzvah to lead the congregation in kiddush at the Friday night service before. In the case of a double, both students will chant the kiddush together. MATERIALS Each student will be provided with a copy of his/her Torah and Haftarah portions (1 year before), which contains the Hebrew text and English translations as well as helpful commentary. Additionally, the Cantor or Cantorial Assistant will make a CD/sound files (6-7 months before) of the Torah and Haftarah portions. Finally, the Cantor will give each student a student copy siddur (prayerbook) approximately 1 month before their simcha, which s/he will use on the day of the ceremony. IMPORTANT NOTE Temple Ner Tamid takes great pride in making every Bar/Bat Mitzvah celebration special, even while the participation of each student is basically the same. There are occasions, however, when special circumstances necessitate an adjustment in the student s participation. We will do everything possible to work with each student as an individual with the ultimate goal of maximizing the student s self-esteem and sense of accomplishment. Please feel free to discuss any concerns you might have with either Cantor Greenberg, Cantorial Assistant Ronni Pressman or Rabbi Kushner. WHAT DOES THE PARENT DO? Besides kvell (untranslatable), the parental involvement in a Bar/Bat Mitzvah celebration includes: offering the English readings for the candle blessing and kiddush on Friday night; participating in the ceremony of Handing Down of the Torah (1 parent and 1 grandparent); having the 3rd aliyah (which involves the recitation of the Torah blessings and reading of the English translation of the Torah selection) offering a parental prayer to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah. With the exception of the Handing Down of the Torah ceremony, both parents are expected to participate in each of these areas. For the aliyah, if a parent is not Jewish, s/he may read the English selection. Additionally, we ask each Bar/Bat Mitzvah family (both student and parents) to usher at a Bar/Bat Mitzvah celebration proceeding their own. A reminder with notification of the date will be sent to you one month in advance. 9

11 WHO ELSE CAN PARTICIPATE IN THE SERVICE? Honors are an important part of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah ceremony. Family and friends who are given honors cease to be observers and become active participants. A variety of opportunities exist within the Shabbat morning worship service for family and friends. Below is a basic guide to honors at Temple Ner Tamid. Included in this Bar/Bat Mitzvah Handbook is an honors worksheet. If you have any questions, please speak to Rabbi Kushner. SPEAKING PARTS: ALIYOT An aliyah is the act of being called to the Torah. There are three parts to an aliyah which may be given to 1-3 individuals: the blessing before the reading of the Torah; the English translation of the Hebrew Torah text; the blessing after the reading of the Torah. Each Bar or Bat mitzvah student, whether in a single or a double ceremony, has a total of 4 aliyot. The first two aliyot are for friends and family. The third aliyah is for the parent(s). The fourth aliyah (also known as the maftir) is for the Bar or Bat Mitzvah student. Some families choose to have one person recite both blessings and another read the English translation; some families give each part to one person; some families have one person do all three parts. In short, you may include two to six people in the first two aliyot (1-3 per aliyah), not including the parents. NON-SPEAKING PARTS When the ark is opened, the Torah is passed down from a grandparent to a parent to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah. Other honors include ark openers (4 for a single, 2 per each family when there is a double), a Torah lifter (hagbah) and a Torah dresser (g lilah). PARTICIPATION OF NON-JEWS Temple Ner Tamid welcomes the participation of non-jewish family and friends. While there are some limitations, we very much want all of your guests to feel welcome. Non-Jews may participate in any of the above honors except the handing down of the Torah through the generations, hagbah (the lifting up of the Torah), and the recitation of the Torah blessings. In the instance of an interfaith marriage, both parents are called to the Torah, but typically non-jewish spouses read the translation while the Jewish spouse recites the blessings. INVOLVEMENT OF YOUNGER SIBLINGS AND CHILDREN Siblings or other young children should be given age-appropriate honors such as helping to dress the Torah or opening the Ark. Siblings also help in the Motzi (blessing over the challah) at the conclusion of the kiddush. Older siblings may be given an aliyah. 10

12 PREPARING FOR BAR/BAT MITZVAH a family process The process of Bar/Bat Mitzvah officially begins at the beginning of the 5th grade year with the assignment of dates. For the next 2-3 years, Temple Ner Tamid offers a variety of programs for both student and parent to prepare for this auspicious event. Below is a brief summary of these learning opportunities. B NAI MITZVAH ORIENTATION MEETINGS The Bar/Bat Mitzvah celebration is much more than a child being called to the Torah. It is a process which involves the entire family. To this end, we offer a pair of programs designed to help both parent and student enjoy the process of Bar/Bat Mitzvah as much as possible. The first orientation meeting is held in the late Spring of the 5th grade year. This program which is designed for parents only allows parents to discuss their hopes and concerns about the upcoming event. The second orientation meeting, in the Fall of the 6th grade year, is a workshop for both student and parent to explore what it means to be a Jew. Examining the three-fold foundation of Jewish belief God, Torah and Israel Rabbi Kushner, Cantor Greenberg and Cantorial Assistant Ronni Pressman will be your guides on a journey designed to help put Bar and Bat Mitzvah into a meaningful and appropriate perspective. ONE-YEAR PREPARATORY MEETING Approximately one year before your date Cantor Greenberg and Cantorial Assistant Ronni Pressman meet with the Bar/Bat Mitzvah students and their parents for an introduction to the coming year of study. At this time each student will receive his/her own Torah portion (parashah or sedrah), prayer materials, prayer CD, service attendance sign-in card and Mitzvah Journal. This meeting is held twice a year in the Fall and Spring for students and families whose dates occur in the corresponding season the following year. TUTORING LESSONS AND REHEARSALS About one year prior to their date, each Bar/Bat Mitzvah student, accompanied by parents, will meet with Cantor Greenberg to evaluate his/her proficiency in Hebrew. Additionally, the student will determine which section of the weekly Torah portion will be chanted. Then, seven months before the date, the student will begin weekly meetings with Cantor Greenberg and/or Cantorial Assistant Ronni Pressman. [Occasionally a student will need extra tutorial assistance in addition to the regular sessions. Cantor Greenberg can supply you with names of recommended tutors if in the opinion of family or teachers extra work is deemed necessary.] During the final 6-8 weeks, all students will meet with Rabbi Kushner to discuss and write their own divrei Torah (interpretations of the Torah portion). A final family rehearsal with Rabbi Kushner will be held on the Thursday evening or Friday morning prior to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah celebration. 11

13 THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW INVITATIONS When ordering invitations, please specify the time for services as 9:45 a.m. There is a file of invitations from past B nai Mitzvah in the office which you may request at any time. If you would like to use Hebrew in the invitation, the Rabbi Kushner, Cantor Greenberg, or Cantorial Assistant Ronni Pressman will be glad to print it out for you so you can take it to the printer. KIPPOT/YARMULKES Personalized kippot/yarmulkes may be ordered on the internet at least 8 weeks prior to the event. There are many sites with various options. One site MayaWorks, < is a nonprofit social venture that empowers indigenous woman of Guatemala to achieve economic security by providing markets for their handcrafted products. BROCHURE Temple Ner Tamid produces a Torah/Haftarah brochure for all B nai Mitzvah celebrations. If you wish to include welcoming remarks (see samples in the Appendix), please furnish us with your text (250 words, via in a WORD document) two weeks before your event. The office should also be advised of your paper color choice as well as the amount needed for the brochure. In the case of a double, please coordinate your efforts with the other family. FOR POSTERITY An audio recording of the complete Shabbat morning service will automatically be made. The taking of photographs or video during the Bar/Bat Mitzvah ceremony is not permitted. You may arrange for photographs to be taken on the bimah during the week prior to your ceremony or on the morning itself. (In either event, please coordinate your arrangements with the Temple office.) Photographic equipment will be allowed in the Temple sanctuary until 9:30 a.m. At this time, photographers must remove all equipment from the sanctuary. You must make photography arrangements with Laurie Schifano. We cannot guarantee that the Sanctuary will be available unless the space is reserved. Photography may resume at the kiddush following the conclusion of the service. Please refer to the Photographer s Guidelines in the Appendix. Each Bar/Bat Mitzvah shall receive a certificate from the Temple affirming his or her having been called to the Torah. Additionally, the Bar/Bat Mitzvah student will be presented with special gifts from a Ner Tamid Board Trustee as a representative of the congregation. USHERING It is customary for each Bar/Bat Mitzvah family to usher at a Saturday morning Bar/Bat Mitzvah service preceding theirs. A reminder letter with notification of the date will be mailed to you approximately one month prior. 12

14 FINAL REHEARSAL A rehearsal of the Torah service with Rabbi Kushner usually is held on the Thursday evening or Friday morning before the Bar/Bat Mitzvah. This run-through is for immediate family only. The Rabbi will finalize this arrangement with you about two weeks before the date. BIMAH FLOWERS It is the family s responsibility to order Bimah flowers. Please make sure that the flowers are delivered to the Temple on the Friday before your event no later than 12:00 Noon. Please call the Temple office if you have any questions regarding the flowers. ONEG SHABBAT For Friday evening, our regular Shabbat attendance is between 75 to 100 people. If you are planning to invite additional guests, please purchase accordingly. (Should a special event be planned for that night, the Temple will share in the cost of the Oneg.) Below are some suggestions for a standard Oneg fare. You need not follow this precisely; it is just intended to give you some ideas. * 15 lbs. of cake, including cookies * 1 lb. decaffeinated coffee * 20 tea bags * 3 lemons * 1 gallon of milk In addition, please provide cold drinks such as lemonade, juices or seltzer. If desired, you can also include punch, the ingredients for which are as follows: * 4 cans of red punch (46 oz) * 2 2-liter bottles of ginger ale * 1 quart of colorful sherbet At the Oneg Shabbat, the cake, coffee, other beverages and items will be arranged and served for you by Temple custodial and kitchen staff. The buffet and other tables with seating will be set up, and cups, plates, tableware and sugar/sweetener will be provided. KABBALAT SHABBAT As you know, the last Friday of each month is Kabbalat Shabbat. Services begin at 6:30 p.m. At 6:00 we have a nosh. Below are some suggestions for standard Kabbalat Shabbat fare. You need not follow this precisely; it is just intended to give you some ideas. * Cheese Platters * Vegetable Platters * Fruit Platters * Goldfish Crackers * Beverages 13

15 KIDDUSH For Saturday morning Kiddush, the following refreshments and supplies will be necessary: * Kosher white wine allow 1 oz. per person * White grape juice for young people * A 5-lb. Challah must be ordered in advance (available from both Allwood and Marlboro Bakeries) Please provide for your own guests and for an additional 25 Temple members. Although the challah and kiddush will be set up for you at the end of services, each family should designate 3-4 adults to distribute wine and juice. Please direct the servers to give wine to adults only. You will be contacted by the Laurie Schifano in the Temple Office approximately 1-month prior to your date regarding bimah flowers, the Friday night oneg and the Saturday morning kiddush. If you have any questions about these arrangements, please contact Laurie in the Temple office ay (ext 5.) 14

16 ARE YOU THINKING OF HAVING YOUR RECEPTION AT TEMPLE NER TAMID? If you would like to use the Temple facilities for an extended-kiddush (a light buffet luncheon) or a sit-down meal following your simcha, it is recommended that you reserve the building as soon as possible after your date has been assigned. A non-refundable deposit of $100 is required to reserve the building for your celebration. In the case of two B nai Mitzvah candidates sharing the same date, the first family to send in their check will be entitled to reserve the date. One year before your affair, a signed contract must be returned to the office together with a check for 50% of the balance due. A certificate of insurance from your caterer is required at least 30 days before the event and final payment is due 60 days prior to event. Three months prior to your simcha, you will receive a letter with helpful hints from the Temple office. This should answer many of your questions. The Temple has 19 (60-inch) round tables which comfortably seat eight people and 10 eight-foot long tables that seat ten people. We also have divider screens that can be used to separate the Social Hall from the Sanctuary. Should you require additional equipment or larger tables, you will need to arrange for rental of same. Please be aware that this is a non-smoking facility and dietary laws are observed. If you have any other questions, please call the synagogue office and ask for Laurie Schifano ( ext 5). FOR FURTHER READING In the Appendix of this B nai Mitzvah Handbook you can find: * Kashrut Guidelines * Fee Schedule for Facility Use * Use of Facility Contract You may also wish to look through some of the essays in the Mitzvah or middle section of this Handbook for helpful ideas about making your reception special. 15

17 r B MITZVOTAV: Through God s Commandments r The 613 Mitzvot r Some Suggestions for Your Se udat Mitzvah/Reception r Article: For Bar Mitzvahs, A Revival of Spirit by Susan Hartman r Article: More Than Just a Party- Creating Meaningful B nai Mitzvah by Judith Kupfer Jaffe d MITZVAH 16

18 B MITZVOTAV THROUGH GOD S COMMANDMENTS Shimon the Righteous was among the survivors of the Great Assembly. He used to say: The world depends on three things on Torah, on the service of God (Avodah), and on deeds of loving-kindness (G milut Chasadim). Pirke Avot 1:2 Preparing to become a Bar/Bat Mitzvah requires a great deal of hard work. Learning the Torah portion, the blessings, the Haftarah, and the prayers necessary to lead the Shabbat morning service takes time and commitment. But that s not all there is to becoming a Bar/Bat Mitzvah. Bar/Bat Mitzvah is not a one shot deal which takes place only at the moment you are called to the Torah. Becoming a Bar/Bat Mitzvah is a gradual process. It is not just an act of being, but rather an act of becoming. It is true that a Jew becomes a Bar/Bat Mitzvah at the appropriate age with or without the ceremony. The ceremony is a joyful celebration of this coming of age. It marks the beginning of a person s Jewish accountability. But becoming responsible doesn t happen overnight; reading from the Torah does not transform you. The process usually takes years. It means trying to understand what Judaism is, why it is important, and how it relates to your everyday life. Where and how do you begin? By doing! B mitzvotav through God s commandments is a six-month learning-by-doing Bar/Bat Mitzvah program which all B nai Mitzvah students are required to complete on their journey towards becoming a Bar/Bat Mitzvah. This action-oriented project will enable you to begin your own program for Jewish doing through the performance of various mitzvot or commandments. Performance of mitzvot identifies us as a separate people. It helps us become partners with God in making the world a more perfect place. We are able to move beyond self and connect with others. When we perform a mitzvah, whether by studying the Torah, worshipping God, or performing acts of loving-kindness we not only help to improve the world we elevate ourselves as well. This B mitzvotav Guide outlines the program in detail. Each student is required to complete thirteen mitzvot within a context of mandatory and optional deeds and record them in a Journal. The Rabbi and the Cantor will assist you along the way, meet with you, discuss mitzvot with you and your parents and answer the many questions which will arise. This program like Judaism will require that you use your heart, your soul, and all your might. If in the months ahead you bring your whole self to these mitzvot and accept their challenges, you will become truly worthy of the title Bar or Bat Mitzvah. B MITZVOTAV is modeled upon a mitzvah project by the same name as designed by Rabbi Jeffrey Sirkman. WHAT DO I NEED TO DO? We challenge you to complete 13 mitzvot in three different categories (four in each category): Talmud Torah: Commitment to Jewish Learning 4 mitzvot Avodah: Jewish Living 4 mitzvot G milut Chasadim: Acts of Love and Kindness 4 mitzvot and the 13th mitzvah is... Aliyah la-torah: Being called to the Torah on your Bar/Bat Mitzvah 1 mitzvah 17

19 TALMUD TORAH/COMMITMENT TO JEWISH LEANING MANDATORY FOR ALL BAR/BAT MITZVAH D VAR TORAH. Study your Torah portion with your family and with Rabbi Kushner. Write a d var Torah which exhibits your understanding of the portion and its meaning in your life. This will be read at your Bar/Bat Mitzvah and will have a special place in your Journal. In the Appendix of this Handbook, you will find a suggested outline and guide for writing your d var. OPTIONS / CHOOSE 3 FROM THE LIST BELOW Read one Jewish Book (approved by the Rabbi or the Cantor) and write a review for your Journal. Book review format: v Title, author, publisher v This book was about (synopsis) v The major characters in this book were v The character I liked best was because v The character I liked least was because v One thing that confused me in the book was v One thing that reminded me of myself in the book was v I want to change something about the book v The ending seemed v Would you recommend this book to a friend? Why? Why not? Visit a Jewish museum, gallery or special Jewish cultural event (play, recital, movie). Write about your experience in your Journal. Identify something about Jewish belief or practice you do not understand. Research the answer using the Rabbi, the Cantor, or the Cantorial Assistant as resources. Present the question, the answer, and your own experience of research in your Journal. Choose a perek (chapter) from Pirkei Avot (Chapters of the Fathers) and write a one-page essay in your Journal on its meaning and application for you in your life today. Write your own midrash (a creative story) about something in your Torah or Haftarah portion. Try writing your portion from one character s perspective, creating an alternative version, or answering some unanswered question. You can illustrate this story (if you want to) and make it part of your Journal. Art or Music project: Study and be inspired by the rich Jewish legacy of art or music and build on it to create your own tradition. You may create a ritual object such as a mezuzah, Kiddush cup or knit/crochet a kippah. You can paint, draw, or sculpt a scene from your portion or reflective of your portion. You may also choose to study, then learn to perform some Israeli, Sephardic, or Yiddish songs. Consult Cantor Greenberg or Cantorial Assistant Ronni Pressman for more artistic ideas. 18

20 AVODAH/JEWISH LEARNING MANDATORY FOR ALL BAR/BAT MITZVAH SHAMOR V ZACHOR SHABBAT. Fulfill all Shabbat attendance requirements prior to Bar/Bat Mitzvah. This involves coming to Shabbat evening or morning services twice-monthly during the year of your Bar/Bat Mitzvah preparation. Please be sure to sign your service attendance card in the black box on the counter in the office. OPTIONS: CHOOSE 3 FROM THE LIST BELOW KEDUSHAT HAZMANIM: MAKING SACRED MOMENTS. Attend a Jewish lifecycle event (wedding, funeral, baby-naming, brit milah, shivah minyan, etc.) other than a Bar/Bat Mitzvah and write down your impressions in your Journal. SHAMOR V ZACHOR SHABBAT: DOING SHABBAT AT HOME. Light Shabbat candles and/or sing the FULL Shabbat evening Kiddush every Friday evening for at least a month. Describe the experience in your Journal. SHAMOR HECHAGIM: OBSERVING THE HOLIDAYS. Attend one festival (Sukkot/Pesach/Shavuot) morning service. What was the meaning of the festival as it was conveyed through the service? What value is there to setting aside Jewish sacred days in a non-jewish world? Comment in your Journal. BIRKAT HAMAZON: BLESSINGS FOR FOOD. Lead your family in Motzi before your main meal and every day for at least two weeks, and lead in the Birkat Hamazon (Grace After Meals) for four Shabbat dinners. Discuss the experience with your family. Write about how you and your family felt about this ritual in your Journal. KASHRUT: JEWISH DIETARY LAWS. Keep one (1) aspect of kashrut (refraining from eating pork products, or shellfish products, or not mixing milk and meat) that you do not normally observe for one month. What did it feel like? What was it like to give up something you enjoyed? Are there positive aspects to keeping kashrut? Share your thought in your Journal. TZITZIT: JEWISH KNOTS. Tie your own tzitzit on a tallit (perhaps the one you will wear at your Bar/Bat Mitzvah). Is there any meaning to the way the tzitzit are knotted? Comment in your Journal as to what purpose you think this ritual serves. LIKBOA MEZUZAH: AFFIXING A MEZUZAH. If there is not one there already, affix a mezuzah to your bedroom door. How do you feel when you see it there? Think about what s inside. Write about this in your Journal. 19

21 GEMILUT CHASADIM/ACTS OF LOVING-KINDNESS MANDATORY FOR ALL BAR/BAT MITZVAH TIKKUN OLAM:REPAIRING THE WORLD. Participate in an individual mitzvah project of at least 4 hours approved by the Cantor. Write about why you chose this project, what you did, and how you felt about it in your Journal. You will be asked to write a paragraph and submit it electronically to Cantorial Assistant Ronni Pressman. This summary will be part of the Tikkun Olam Showcase in our lobby. This is the heart of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah experience. We recognize the unique qualities of each of you and encourage you to use your talent and creativity in choosing and performing this mitzvah. If you can cook cook for the homeless or homebound. If you re an athletic person organize a charity run or walk-a-thon. If you are artistic create art with needy children. You need only two things to take on this project: a supervisor (responsible adult) at the place you wish to volunteer; the approval of the Cantor (and of course parents!). Four hours of service are required. OPTIONS: CHOOSE 3 FROM THE LIST BELOW V AHAVTA: LOVING YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF. Help a classmate who is ill. Bring homework, library books and message between home and school. Help them keep up with notes in class by relaying information to them. Write about this experience in your Journal. HALBASHAT ARUMIM: CLOTHING THOSE IN NEED. Go through your house with your family and collect clothing and housewares for donation. Bring them to the National Council of Jewish Women Thrift Store on Bloomfield Avenue. Reflect on this experience in your Journal. KIBUD ZEKAYNIM: HONORING THE ELDERLY. Visit a Jewish nursing home. Speak with residents about their lives. Write down their stories and your impressions in your Journal. TZÍAR BA ALEI CHAYIM:BEING KIND TO ANIMALS. Volunteer time at the local Animal Shelter or another organization that cares for animals. Write about what you did and how you felt doing it in your Journal. NICHUM AVAYLIM: COMFORTING THE MOURNER. Attend a shivah minyan at a house of mourning. Write down your impressions about your experience in your Journal. MA OT CHITIM: PASSOVER FOODS FOR THE NEEDY. Provide Passover foods to needy Jews by collecting Kosher for Passover foods and donating them to a Jewish shelter or a Jewish Kosher Food Pantry. Reflect on this experience in your Journal. BAL TASHCHIT: TAKING CARE OF THE ENVIRONMENT. In honor of Tu B Shevat, plant a tree or some flowers in your yard and buy at least one tree from the JNF for Israel. Write about this experience in your Journal. 20

22 THE B MITZVOTAV JOURNAL One important aspect of this journal towards becoming a Bar or Bat Mitzvah is your B mitzvotav Jounal. This is a required element for all students in the program. Performing the mitzvot in the program is important, but doing them alone is not enough. It is equally important that you reflect on what you did, how you did it, how it felt, and how it may or may not have changed your ideas about being Jewish. That s why the Journal is important. In your Journal, you have a safe place to question, gain perspective, record your insights, and be creative. We want you to write about your experiences and learn from them. There are no right or wrong answers. Be honest about what happened and how you felt. You will also put your book reports and eventually your d var Torah in the Journal. You will always be able to have this Journal as a remembrance of how you became a Bar/Bat Mitzvah. You can choose to share your Journal with your family and friends, or you can have a Journal that only you, the Rabbi, the Cantor or Cantorial Assistant can read. It s totally up to you. Here are a few guidelines to help you on your way. You can type out your repots and entries on the computer. You can write them by hand. Here are things to consider when asked to reflect on an experience: o What did I think it was going to be like? o What was it actually like to do a mitzvah? o Did I feel comfortable performing the mitzvah? o Who helped me do the mitzvah? o How did my family react? o What surprised me about the experience? o Write a quick list of thoughts. o Would I try this again? o These are just beginnings. Feel free to write from your own thoughts and to share your ideas honestly. Entries should be at least one page. 21

23 THE 613 MITZVOT According to Jewish tradition, there are precisely 613 mitzvot or commandments from God that derive directly from the Torah. Even though several codifiers have compiled listings of these 613 over the centuries (248 postive or mandatory commandments, and 365 negative or commandments of prohibition), the number tends to be more consistent than the specifics of each list. Put another way, the Taryag mitzvot the letter equivalent of the number 613 has taken on an identity by itself, even independent of the actual commandments it represents. As if to say, there are more than 10. Everything we do in life from the time we rise in the morning to the time we lie down at night is guided by mitzvot. Judaism is a way of life. Although at Temple Ner Tamid we do not embrace the 613 as being definitive, we nevertheless accept them as an essential source from which to draw. They are what our ancestors understood as, to quote the prophet Micah, What the Lord requires. And while we may hear differently today, while we may have a different perspective on what we believe to be commanded, Judaism has always taught that the best way to hear God is through the ears of previous generations of Jews. We encourage you to read the following pages (from the listing of the Taryag mitzvot. They are an ideal place to begin. The 613 commandments and their source in scripture, as enumerated by Maimonides: 1. To know there is a God Ex. 20:2 2. Not to entertain thoughts of other gods besides Him Ex. 20:3 3. To know that He is one Deut. 6:4 4. To love Him Deut. 6:5 5. To fear Him Deut. 10:20 6. To sanctify His Name Lev. 22:32 7. Not to profane His Name Lev. 22:32 8. Not to destroy objects associated with His Name Deut. 12:4 9. To listen to the prophet speaking in His Name Deut. 18: Not to test the prophet unduly Deut. 6: To emulate His ways Deut. 28:9 12. To cleave to those who know Him Deut. 10: To love other Jews Lev. 19: To love converts Deut. 10: Not to hate fellow Jews Lev. 19: To reprove a sinner Lev. 19: Not to embarrass others Lev. 19: Not to oppress the weak Ex. 22: Not to speak derogatorily of others Lev. 19: Not to take revenge Lev. 19: Not to bear a grudge Lev. 19: To learn Torah Deut. 6:7 23. To honor those who teach and know Torah Lev. 19: Not to inquire into idolatry Lev. 19:4 25. Not to follow the whims of your heart or what your eyes see Num. 15: Not to blaspheme Ex. 22: Not to worship idols in the manner they are worshiped Ex. 20:5 28. Not to worship idols in the four ways we worship God Ex. 20:5 29. Not to make an idol for yourself Ex. 20:4 30. Not to make an idol for others Lev. 19:4 31. Not to make human forms even for decorative purposes Ex. 20: Not to turn a city to idolatry Ex. 23: To burn a city that has turned to idol worship Deut. 13: Not to rebuild it as a city Deut. 13: Not to derive benefit from it Deut. 13: Not to missionize an individual to idol worship Deut. 13: Not to love the missionary Deut. 13:9 38. Not to cease hating the missionary Deut. 13:9 39. Not to save the missionary Deut. 13:9 40. Not to say anything in his defense Deut. 13:9 41. Not to refrain from incriminating him Deut. 13:9 42. Not to prophesize in the name of idolatry Deut. 13: Not to listen to a false prophet Deut. 13:4 44. Not to prophesize falsely in the name of God Deut. 18: Not to be afraid of killing the false prophet Deut. 18: Not to swear in the name of an idol Ex. 23: Not to perform ov (medium) Lev. 19: Not to perform yidoni ("magical seer") Lev. 19: Not to pass your children through the fire to Molech Lev. 18: Not to erect a column in a public place of worship Deut. 16: Not to bow down on smooth stone Lev. 26:1 52. Not to plant a tree in the Temple courtyard Deut. 16: To destroy idols and their accessories Deut. 12:2 54. Not to derive benefit from idols and their accessories Deut. 7: Not to derive benefit from ornaments of idols Deut. 7: Not to make a covenant with idolaters Deut. 7:2 57. Not to show favor to them Deut. 7:2 58. Not to let them dwell in the land of Israel Ex. 23: Not to imitate them in customs and clothing Lev. 20: Not to be superstitious Lev. 19: Not to go into a trance to foresee events, etc. Deut. 18: Not to engage in astrology Lev. 19: Not to mutter incantations Deut. 18: Not to attempt to contact the dead Deut. 18: Not to consult the ov Deut. 18: Not to consult the yidoni Deut. 18: Not to perform acts of magic Deut. 18: Men must not shave the hair off the sides of their head Lev. 19: Men must not shave their beards with a razor Lev. 19: Men must not wear women's clothing Deut. 22:5 71. Women must not wear men's clothing Deut. 22:5 72. Not to tattoo the skin Lev. 19: Not to tear the skin in mourning Deut. 14:1 74. Not to make a bald spot in mourning Deut. 14:1 75. To repent and confess wrongdoings Num. 5:7 76. To say the Shema twice daily Deut. 6:7 77. To serve the Almighty with prayer daily Ex. 23: The Kohanim must bless the Jewish nation daily Num. 6: To wear tefillin (phylacteries) on the head Deut. 6:8 80. To bind tefillin on the arm Deut. 6:8 81. To put a mezuzah on each door post Deut. 6:9 82. Each male must write a Torah scroll Deut. 31: The king must have a separate Sefer Torah for himself Deut. 17: To have tzitzit on four-cornered garments Num. 15: To bless the Almighty after eating Deut. 8: To circumcise all males on the eighth day after their birth Lev. 12:3

24 87. To rest on the seventh day Ex. 23: Not to do prohibited labor on the seventh day Ex. 20: The court must not inflict punishment on Shabbat Ex. 35:3 90. Not to walk outside the city boundary on Shabbat Ex. 16: To sanctify the day with Kiddush and Havdalah Ex. 20:8 92. To rest from prohibited labor Lev. 23: Not to do prohibited labor on Yom Kippur Lev. 23: To afflict yourself on Yom Kippur Lev. 16: Not to eat or drink on Yom Kippur Lev. 23: To rest on the first day of Passover Lev. 23:7 97. Not to do prohibited labor on the first day of Passover Lev. 23:8 98. To rest on the seventh day of Passover Lev. 23:8 99. Not to do prohibited labor on the seventh day of Passover Lev. 23: To rest on Shavuot Lev. 23: Not to do prohibited labor on Shavuot Lev. 23: To rest on Rosh Hashana Lev. 23: Not to do prohibited labor on Rosh Hashana Lev. 23: To rest on Sukkot Lev. 23: Not to do prohibited labor on Sukkot Lev. 23: To rest on Shmini Atzeret Lev. 23: Not to do prohibited labor on Shmini Atzeret Lev. 23: Not to eat chametz on the afternoon of the 14th day of Nissan Deut. 16: To destroy all chametz on 14th day of Nissan Ex. 12: Not to eat chametz all seven days of Passover Ex. 13: Not to eat mixtures containing chametz all seven days of Passover Ex. 12: Not to see chametz in your domain seven days Ex. 13: Not to find chametz in your domain seven days Ex. 12: To eat matzah on the first night of Passover Ex. 12: To relate the Exodus from Egypt on that night Ex. 13: To hear the Shofar on the first day of Tishrei (Rosh Hashana) Num. 9: To dwell in a Sukkah for the seven days of Sukkot Lev. 23: To take up a Lulav and Etrog all seven days Lev. 23: Each man must give a half shekel annually Ex. 30: Courts must calculate to determine when a new month begins Ex. 12: To afflict and cry out before God in times of catastrophe Num. 10: To marry a wife by means of ketubah and kiddushin Deut. 22: Not to have sexual relations with women not thus married Deut. 23: Not to withhold food, clothing, and sexual relations from your wife Ex. 21: To have children with one's wife Gen 1: To issue a divorce by means of a Get document Deut. 24: A man must not remarry his wife after she has married someone else Deut. 24: To do yibbum (marry the widow of one's childless brother) Deut. 25: To do chalitzah (free the widow of one's childless brother from yibbum) Deut. 25: The widow must not remarry until the ties with her brotherinlaw are removed Deut. 25: The court must fine one who sexually seduces a maiden Ex. 22: The rapist must marry the maiden (if she chooses) Deut. 22: He is never allowed to divorce her Deut. 22: The slanderer must remain married to his wife Deut. 22: He must not divorce her Deut. 22: To fulfill the laws of the Sotah Num. 5: Not to put oil on her meal offering Num. 5: Not to put frankincense on her meal offering Num. 5: Not to have sexual relations with your mother Lev. 18: Not to have sexual relations with your father's wife Lev. 18: Not to have sexual relations with your sister Lev. 18: Not to have sexual relations with your father's wife's daughter Lev. 18: Not to have sexual relations with your son's daughter Lev. 18: Not to have sexual relations with your daughter Lev. 18:6 Lev. 18: Not to have sexual relations with your daughter's daughter Lev. 18: Not to have sexual relations with a woman and her daughter Lev. 18: Not to have sexual relations with a woman and her son's daughter Lev. 18: Not to have sexual relations with a woman and her daughter's daughter Lev. 18: Not to have sexual relations with your father's sister Lev. 18: Not to have sexual relations with your mother's sister Lev. 18: Not to have sexual relations with your father's brother's wife Lev. 18: Not to have sexual relations with your son's wife Lev. 18: Not to have sexual relations with your brother's wife Lev. 18: Not to have sexual relations with your wife's sister Lev. 18: A man must not have sexual relations with a beast Lev. 18: A woman must not have sexual relations with a beast Lev. 18: Not to have homosexual sexual relations Lev. 18: Not to have homosexual sexual relations with your father Lev. 18: Not to have homosexual sexual relations with your father's brother Lev. 18: Not to have sexual relations with someone else's wife Lev. 18: Not to have sexual relations with a menstrually impure woman Lev. 18: Not to marry non-jews Deut. 7: Not to let Moabite and Ammonite males marry into the Jewish people Deut. 23: Don't keep a third-generation Egyptian convert from marrying into the Jewish people Deut. 23: Not to refrain from marrying a third generation Edomite convert Deut. 23: Not to let a mamzer (a child born due to an illegal relationship) marry into the Jewish people Deut. 23: Not to let a eunuch marry into the Jewish people Deut. 23: Not to offer to God any castrated male animals Lev. 22: The High Priest must not marry a widow Lev. 21: The High Priest must not have sexual relations with a widow even outside of marriage Lev. 21: The High Priest must marry a virgin maiden Lev. 21: A Kohen (priest) must not marry a divorcee Lev. 21: A Kohen must not marry a zonah (a woman who has had a forbidden sexual relationship) Lev. 21: A priest must not marry a chalalah ("a desecrated person") (party to or product of ) Lev. 21: Not to make pleasurable (sexual) contact with any forbidden woman Lev. 18: To examine the signs of animals to distinguish between kosher and non-kosher Lev. 11: To examine the signs of fowl to distinguish between kosher and non-kosher Deut. 14: To examine the signs of fish to distinguish between kosher and non-kosher Lev. 11: To examine the signs of locusts to distinguish between kosher and non-kosher Lev. 11: Not to eat non-kosher animals Lev. 11: Not to eat non-kosher fowl Lev. 11: Not to eat non-kosher fish Lev. 11: Not to eat non-kosher flying insects Deut. 14: Not to eat non-kosher creatures that crawl on land Lev. 11: Not to eat non-kosher maggots Lev. 11: Not to eat worms found in fruit on the ground Lev. 11: Not to eat creatures that live in water other than (kosher) fish Lev. 11: Not to eat the meat of an animal that died without ritual slaughter Deut. 14: Not to benefit from an ox condemned to be stoned Ex. 21: Not to eat meat of an animal that was mortally wounded Ex. 22: Not to eat a limb torn off a living creature Deut Not to eat blood Lev. 3: Not to eat certain fats of clean animals Lev. 3:17

25 194. Not to eat the sinew of the thigh Gen. 32: Not to eat meat and milk cooked together Ex. 23: Not to cook meat and milk together Ex. 34: Not to eat bread from new grain before the Omer Lev. 23: Not to eat parched grains from new grain before the Omer Lev. 23: Not to eat ripened grains from new grain before the Omer Lev. 23: Not to eat fruit of a tree during its first three years Lev. 19: Not to eat diverse seeds planted in a vineyard Deut. 22: Not to eat untithed fruits Lev. 22: Not to drink wine poured in service to idols Deut. 32: To ritually slaughter an animal before eating it Deut. 12: Not to slaughter an animal and its offspring on the same day Lev. 22: To cover the blood (of a slaughtered beast or fowl) with earth Lev. 17: Not to take the mother bird from her children Deut. 22: To release the mother bird if she was taken from the nest Deut. 22: Not to swear falsely in God's Name Lev. 19: Not to take God's Name in vain Ex. 20: Not to deny possession of something entrusted to you Lev. 19: Not to swear in denial of a monetary claim Lev. 19: To swear in God's Name to confirm the truth when deemed necessary by court Deut. 10: To fulfill what was uttered and to do what was avowed Deut. 23: Not to break oaths or vows Num. 30: For oaths and vows annulled, there are the laws of annulling vows explicit in the Torah Num. 30: The Nazir must let his hair grow Num. 6: He must not cut his hair Num. 6: He must not drink wine, wine mixtures, or wine vinegar Num. 6: He must not eat fresh grapes Num. 6: He must not eat raisins Num. 6: He must not eat grape seeds Num. 6: He must not eat grape skins Num. 6: He must not be under the same roof as a corpse Num. 6: He must not come into contact with the dead Num. 6: He must shave after bringing sacrifices upon completion of his Nazirite period Num. 6: To estimate the value of people as determined by the Torah Lev. 27: To estimate the value of consecrated animals Lev. 27: To estimate the value of consecrated houses Lev. 27: To estimate the value of consecrated fields Lev. 27: Carry out the laws of interdicting possessions (cherem) Lev. 27: Not to sell the cherem Lev. 27: Not to redeem the cherem Lev. 27: Not to plant diverse seeds together Lev. 19: Not to plant grains or greens in a vineyard Deut. 22: Not to crossbreed animals Lev. 19: Not to work different animals together Deut. 22: Not to wear shatnez, a cloth woven of wool and linen Deut. 22: To leave a corner of the field uncut for the poor Lev. 19: Not to reap that corner Lev. 19: To leave gleanings Lev. 19: Not to gather the gleanings Lev. 19: To leave the gleanings of a vineyard Lev. 19: Not to gather the gleanings of a vineyard Lev. 19: To leave the unformed clusters of grapes Lev. 19: Not to pick the unformed clusters of grapes Lev. 19: To leave the forgotten sheaves in the field Deut. 24: Not to retrieve them Deut. 24: To separate the tithe for the poor Deut. 14: To give charity Deut. 15: Not to withhold charity from the poor Deut. 15: To set aside Terumah Gedolah (tithe for the Kohen) Deut. 18: The Levite must set aside a tenth of his tithe Num. 18: Not to preface one tithe to the next, but separate them in their proper order Ex. 22: A non-kohen must not eat Terumah Lev. 22: A hired worker or a Jewish bondsman of a Kohen must not eat Terumah Lev. 22: An uncircumcised Kohen must not eat Terumah Ex. 12: An impure Kohen must not eat Terumah Lev. 22: A chalalah must not eat Terumah Lev. 22: To set aside Ma'aser (tithe) each planting year and give it to a Levite Num. 18: To set aside the second tithe (Ma'aser Sheni) Deut. 14: Not to spend its redemption money on anything but food, drink, or ointment Deut. 26: Not to eat Ma'aser Sheni while impure Deut. 26: A mourner on the first day after death must not eat Ma'aser Sheni Deut. 26: Not to eat Ma'aser Sheni grains outside Jerusalem Deut. 12: Not to eat Ma'aser Sheni wine products outside Jerusalem Deut. 12: Not to eat Ma'aser Sheni oil outside Jerusalem Deut. 12: The fourth year crops must be totally for holy purposes like Ma'aser Sheni Lev. 19: To read the confession of tithes every fourth and seventh year Deut. 26: To set aside the first fruits and bring them to the Temple Ex. 23: The Kohanim must not eat the first fruits outside Jerusalem Deut. 12: To read the Torah portion pertaining to their presentation Deut. 26: To set aside a portion of dough for a Kohen Num. 15: To give the shoulder, two cheeks, and stomach of slaughtered animals to a Kohen Deut. 18: To give the first sheering of sheep to a Kohen Deut. 18: To redeem the firstborn sons and give the money to a Kohen Num. 18: To redeem the firstborn donkey by giving a lamb to a Kohen Ex. 13: To break the neck of the donkey if the owner does not intend to redeem it Ex. 13: To rest the land during the seventh year by not doing any work which enhances growth Ex. 34: Not to work the land during the seventh year Lev. 25: Not to work with trees to produce fruit during that year Lev. 25: Not to reap crops that grow wild that year in the normal manner Lev. 25: Not to gather grapes which grow wild that year in the normal way Lev. 25: To leave free all produce which grew in that year Ex. 23: To release all loans during the seventh year Deut. 15: Not to pressure or claim from the borrower Deut. 15: Not to refrain from lending immediately before the release of the loans for fear of monetary loss Deut. 15: The Sanhedrin must count seven groups of seven years Lev. 25: The Sanhedrin must sanctify the fiftieth year Lev. 25: To blow the Shofar on the tenth of Tishrei to free the slaves Lev. 25: Not to work the soil during the fiftieth year (Jubilee) Lev. 25: Not to reap in the normal manner that which grows wild in the fiftieth year Lev. 25: Not to pick grapes which grew wild in the normal manner in the fiftieth year Lev. 25: Carry out the laws of sold family properties Lev. 25: Not to sell the land in Israel indefinitely Lev. 25: Carry out the laws of houses in walled cities Lev. 25: The Tribe of Levi must not be given a portion of the land in Israel, rather they are given cities to dwell in Deut. 18: The Levites must not take a share in the spoils of war Deut. 18: To give the Levites cities to inhabit and their surrounding fields Num. 35: Not to sell the fields but they shall remain the Levites' before and after the Jubilee year Lev. 25: To build a Sanctuary Ex. 25: Not to build the altar with stones hewn by metal Ex. 20: Not to climb steps to the altar Ex. 20: To show reverence to the Temple Lev. 19:30

26 305. To guard the Temple area Num. 18: Not to leave the Temple unguarded Num. 18: To prepare the anointing oil Ex. 30: Not to reproduce the anointing oil Ex. 30: Not to anoint with anointing oil Ex. 30: Not to reproduce the incense formula Ex. 30: Not to burn anything on the Golden Altar besides incense Ex. 30: The Levites must transport the ark on their shoulders Num. 7: Not to remove the staves from the ark Ex. 25: The Levites must work in the Temple Num. 18: No Levite must do another's work of either a Kohen or a Levite Num. 18: To dedicate the Kohen for service Lev. 21: The work of the Kohanim 's shifts must be equal during holidays Deut. 18: The Kohanim must wear their priestly garments during service Ex. 28: Not to tear the priestly garments Ex. 28: The Kohen Gadol 's breastplate must not be loosened from the Efod Ex. 28: A Kohen must not enter the Temple intoxicated Lev. 10: A Kohen must not enter the Temple with long hair Lev. 10: A Kohen must not enter the Temple with torn clothes Lev. 10: A Kohen must not enter the Temple indiscriminately Lev. 16: A Kohen must not leave the Temple during service Lev. 10: To send the impure from the Temple Num. 5: Impure people must not enter the Temple Num. 5: Impure people must not enter the Temple Mount area Deut. 23: Impure Kohanim must not do service in the temple Lev. 22: An impure Kohen, following immersion, must wait until after sundown before returning to service Lev. 22: A Kohen must wash his hands and feet before service Ex. 30: A Kohen with a physical blemish must not enter the sanctuary or approach the altar Lev. 21: A Kohen with a physical blemish must not serve Lev. 21: A Kohen with a temporary blemish must not serve Lev. 21: One who is not a Kohen must not serve Num. 18: To offer only unblemished animals Lev. 22: Not to dedicate a blemished animal for the altar Lev. 22: Not to slaughter it Lev. 22: Not to sprinkle its blood Lev. 22: Not to burn its fat Lev. 22: Not to offer a temporarily blemished animal Deut. 17: Not to sacrifice blemished animals even if offered by non- Jews Lev. 22: Not to inflict wounds upon dedicated animals Lev. 22: To redeem dedicated animals which have become disqualified Deut. 12: To offer only animals which are at least eight days old Lev. 22: Not to offer animals bought with the wages of a harlot or the animal exchanged for a dog Deut. 23: Not to burn honey or yeast on the altar Lev. 2: To salt all sacrifices Lev. 2: Not to omit the salt from sacrifices Lev. 2: Carry out the procedure of the burnt offering as prescribed in the Torah Lev. 1: Not to eat its meat Deut. 12: Carry out the procedure of the sin offering Lev. 6: Not to eat the meat of the inner sin offering Lev. 6: Not to decapitate a fowl brought as a sin offering Lev. 5: Carry out the procedure of the guilt offering Lev. 7: The Kohanim must eat the sacrificial meat in the Temple Ex. 29: The Kohanim must not eat the meat outside the Temple courtyard Deut. 12: A non-kohen must not eat sacrificial meat Ex. 29: To follow the procedure of the peace offering Lev. 7: Not to eat the meat of minor sacrifices before sprinkling the blood Deut. 12: To bring meal offerings as prescribed in the Torah Lev. 2: Not to put oil on the meal offerings of wrongdoers Lev. 5: Not to put frankincense on the meal offerings of wrongdoers Lev. 3: Not to eat the meal offering of the High Priest Lev. 6: Not to bake a meal offering as leavened bread Lev. 6: The Kohanim must eat the remains of the meal offerings Lev. 6: To bring all avowed and freewill offerings to the Temple on the first subsequent festival Deut. 12: Not to withhold payment incurred by any vow Deut. 23: To offer all sacrifices in the Temple Deut. 12: To bring all sacrifices from outside Israel to the Temple Deut. 12: Not to slaughter sacrifices outside the courtyard Lev. 17: Not to offer any sacrifices outside the courtyard Deut. 12: To offer two lambs every day Num. 28: To light a fire on the altar every day Lev. 6: Not to extinguish this fire Lev. 6: To remove the ashes from the altar every day Lev. 6: To burn incense every day Ex. 30: To light the Menorah every day Ex. 27: The Kohen Gadol ("High Priest") must bring a meal offering every day Lev. 6: To bring two additional lambs as burnt offerings on Shabbat Num 28: To make the show bread Ex. 25: To bring additional offerings on Rosh Chodesh (" The New Month") Num. 28: To bring additional offerings on Passover Num. 28: To offer the wave offering from the meal of the new wheat Lev. 23: Each man must count the Omer - seven weeks from the day the new wheat offering was brought Lev. 23: To bring additional offerings on Shavuot Num. 28: To bring two leaves to accompany the above sacrifice Lev. 23: To bring additional offerings on Rosh Hashana Num. 29: To bring additional offerings on Yom Kippur Num. 29: To bring additional offerings on Sukkot Num. 29: To bring additional offerings on Shmini Atzeret Num. 29: Not to eat sacrifices which have become unfit or blemished Deut Not to eat from sacrifices offered with improper intentions Lev. 7: Not to leave sacrifices past the time allowed for eating them Lev. 22: Not to eat from that which was left over Lev. 19: Not to eat from sacrifices which became impure Lev. 7: An impure person must not eat from sacrifices Lev. 7: To burn the leftover sacrifices Lev. 7: To burn all impure sacrifices Lev. 7: To follow the procedure of Yom Kippur in the sequence prescribed in Parshah Acharei Mot ("After the death of Aaron's sons...") Lev. 16: One who profaned property must repay what he profaned plus a fifth and bring a sacrifice Lev. 5: Not to work consecrated animals Deut. 15: Not to shear the fleece of consecrated animals Deut. 15: To slaughter the paschal sacrifice at the specified time Ex. 12: Not to slaughter it while in possession of leaven Ex. 23: Not to leave the fat overnight Ex. 23: To slaughter the second Paschal Lamb Num. 9: To eat the Paschal Lamb with matzah and Marror on the night of the fourteenth of Nissan Ex. 12: To eat the second Paschal Lamb on the night of the 15th of Iyar Num. 9: Not to eat the paschal meat raw or boiled Ex. 12: Not to take the paschal meat from the confines of the group Ex. 12: An apostate must not eat from it Ex. 12: A permanent or temporary hired worker must not eat from it Ex. 12: An uncircumcised male must not eat from it Ex. 12: Not to break any bones from the paschal offering Ex. 12: Not to break any bones from the second paschal offering Num. 9: Not to leave any meat from the paschal offering over until

27 morning Ex. 12: Not to leave the second paschal meat over until morning Num. 9: Not to leave the meat of the holiday offering of the 14th until the 16th Deut. 16: To be seen at the Temple on Passover, Shavuot, and Sukkot Deut. 16: To celebrate on these three Festivals (bring a peace offering) Ex. 23: To rejoice on these three Festivals (bring a peace offering) Deut. 16: Not to appear at the Temple without offerings Deut. 16: Not to refrain from rejoicing with, and giving gifts to, the Levites Deut. 12: To assemble all the people on the Sukkot following the seventh year Deut. 31: To set aside the firstborn animals Ex. 13: The Kohanim must not eat unblemished firstborn animals outside Jerusalem Deut. 12: Not to redeem the firstborn Num. 18: Separate the tithe from animals Lev. 27: Not to redeem the tithe Lev. 27: Every person must bring a sin offering (in the temple) for his transgression Lev. 4: Bring an asham talui (temple offering) when uncertain of guilt Lev. 5: Bring an asham vadai (temple offering) when guilt is ascertained Lev. 5: Bring an oleh v'yored (temple offering) offering (if the person is wealthy, an animal; if poor, a bird or meal offering) Lev. 5: The Sanhedrin must bring an offering (in the Temple) when it rules in error Lev. 4: A woman who had a running (vaginal) issue must bring an offering (in the Temple) after she goes to the Mikveh Lev. 15: A woman who gave birth must bring an offering (in the Temple) after she goes to the Mikveh Lev. 12: A man who had a running (unnatural urinary) issue must bring an offering (in the Temple) after he goes to the Mikveh Lev. 15: A metzora must bring an offering (in the Temple) after going to the Mikveh Lev. 14: Not to substitute another beast for one set apart for sacrifice Lev. 27: The new animal, in addition to the substituted one, retains consecration Lev. 27: Not to change consecrated animals from one type of offering to another Lev. 27: Carry out the laws of impurity of the dead Num. 19: Carry out the procedure of the Red Heifer (Para Aduma) Num. 19: Carry out the laws of the sprinkling water Num. 19: Rule the laws of human tzara'at as prescribed in the Torah Lev. 13: The metzora must not remove his signs of impurity Deut. 24: The metzora must not shave signs of impurity in his hair Lev. 13: The metzora must publicize his condition by tearing his garments, allowing his hair to grow and covering his lips Lev. 13: Carry out the prescribed rules for purifying the metzora Lev. 14: The metzora must shave off all his hair prior to purification Lev. 14: Carry out the laws of tzara'at of clothing Lev. 13: Carry out the laws of tzara'at of houses Lev. 13: Observe the laws of menstrual impurity Lev. 15: Observe the laws of impurity caused by childbirth Lev. 12: Observe the laws of impurity caused by a woman's running Issue Lev. 15: Observe the laws of impurity caused by a man's running issue (irregular ejaculation of infected semen) Lev. 15: Observe the laws of impurity caused by a dead beast Lev. 11: Observe the laws of impurity caused by the eight shratzim (insects) Lev. 11: Observe the laws of impurity of a seminal emission (regular ejaculation, with normal semen) Lev. 15: Observe the laws of impurity concerning liquid and solid foods Lev. 11: Every impure person must immerse himself in a Mikveh to become pure Lev. 15: The court must judge the damages incurred by a goring ox Ex. 21: The court must judge the damages incurred by an animal eating Ex. 22: The court must judge the damages incurred by a pit Ex. 21: The court must judge the damages incurred by fire Ex. 22: Not to steal money stealthily Lev. 19: The court must implement punitive measures against the thief Ex. 21: Each individual must ensure that his scales and weights are accurate Lev. 19: Not to commit injustice with scales and weights Lev. 19: Not to possess inaccurate scales and weights even if they are not for use Deut. 25: Not to move a boundary marker to steal someone's property Deut. 19: Not to kidnap Ex. 20: Not to rob openly Lev. 19: Not to withhold wages or fail to repay a debt Lev. 19: Not to covet and scheme to acquire another's possession Ex. 20: Not to desire another's possession Deut. 5: Return the robbed object or its value Lev. 5: Not to ignore a lost object Deut. 22: Return the lost object Deut. 22: The court must implement laws against the one who assaults another or damages another's property Ex. 21: Not to murder Ex. 20: Not to accept monetary restitution to atone for the murderer Num. 35: The court must send the accidental murderer to a city of refuge Num. 35: Not to accept monetary restitution instead of being sent to a city of refuge Num. 35: Not to kill the murderer before he stands trial Num. 35: Save someone being pursued even by taking the life of the pursuer Deut. 25: Not to pity the pursuer Num. 35: Not to stand idly by if someone's life is in danger Lev. 19: Designate cities of refuge and prepare routes of access Deut. 19: Break the neck of a calf by the river valley following an unsolved murder Deut. 21: Not to work nor plant that river valley Deut. 21: Not to allow pitfalls and obstacles to remain on your property Deut. 22: Make a guard rail around flat roofs Deut. 22: Not to put a stumbling block before a blind man (nor give harmful advice) (Lifnei iver) Lev. 19: Help another remove the load from a beast which can no longer carry it Ex. 23: Help others load their beast Deut. 22: Not to leave others distraught with their burdens (but to help either load or unload) Deut. 22: Buy and sell according to Torah law Lev. 25: Not to overcharge or underpay for an article Lev. 25: Not to insult or harm anybody with words Lev. 25: Not to cheat a sincere convert monetarily Ex. 22: Not to insult or harm a sincere convert with words Ex. 22: Purchase a Hebrew slave in accordance with the prescribed laws Ex. 21: Not to sell him as a slave is sold Lev. 25: Not to work him oppressively Lev. 25: Not to allow a non-jew to work him oppressively Lev. 25: Not to have him do menial slave labor Lev. 25: Give him gifts when he goes free Deut. 15: Not to send him away empty-handed Deut. 15: Redeem Jewish maidservants Ex. 21: Betroth the Jewish maidservant Ex. 21: The master must not sell his maidservant Ex. 21: Canaanite slaves must work forever unless injured in one of their limbs Lev. 25:46

28 515. Not to extradite a slave who fled to (Biblical) Israel Deut. 23: Not to wrong a slave who has come to Israel for refuge Deut. 23: The courts must carry out the laws of a hired worker and hired guard Ex. 22: Pay wages on the day they were earned Deut. 24: Not to delay payment of wages past the agreed time Lev. 19: The hired worker may eat from the unharvested crops where he works Deut. 23: The worker must not eat while on hired time Deut. 23: The worker must not take more than he can eat Deut. 23: Not to muzzle an ox while plowing Deut. 25: The courts must carry out the laws of a borrower Ex. 22: The courts must carry out the laws of an unpaid guard Ex. 22: Lend to the poor and destitute Ex. 22: Not to press them for payment if you know they don't have it Ex. 22: Press the idolater for payment Deut. 15: The creditor must not forcibly take collateral Deut. 24: Return the collateral to the debtor when needed Deut. 24: Not to delay its return when needed Deut. 24: Not to demand collateral from a widow Deut. 24: Not to demand as collateral utensils needed for preparing food Deut. 24: Not to lend with interest Lev. 25: Not to borrow with interest Deut. 23: Not to intermediate in an interest loan, guarantee, witness, or write the promissory note Ex. 22: Lend to and borrow from idolaters with interest Deut. 23: The courts must carry out the laws of the plaintiff, admitter, or denier Ex. 22: Carry out the laws of the order of inheritance Num. 27: Appoint judges Deut. 16: Not to appoint judges who are not familiar with judicial procedure Deut. 1: Decide by majority in case of disagreement Ex. 23: The court must not execute through a majority of one; at least a majority of two is required Ex. 23: A judge who presented an acquittal plea must not present an argument for conviction in capital cases Deut. 23: The courts must carry out the death penalty of stoning Deut. 22: The courts must carry out the death penalty of burning Lev. 20: The courts must carry out the death penalty of the sword Ex. 21: The courts must carry out the death penalty of strangulation Lev. 20: The courts must hang those stoned for blasphemy or idolatry Deut. 21: Bury the executed on the day they are killed Deut. 21: Not to delay burial overnight Deut. 21: The court must not let the sorcerer live Ex. 22: The court must give lashes to the wrongdoer Ex. 25: The court must not exceed the prescribed number of lashes Deut. 25: The court must not kill anybody on circumstantial evidence Ex. 23: The court must not punish anybody who was forced to do a crime Deut. 22: A judge must not pity the murderer or assaulter at the trial Deut. 19: A judge must not have mercy on the poor man at the trial Lev. 19: A judge must not respect the great man at the trial Lev. 19: A judge must not decide unjustly the case of the habitual transgressor Ex. 23: A judge must not pervert justice Lev. 19: A judge must not pervert a case involving a convert or orphan Deut. 24: Judge righteously Lev. 19: The judge must not fear a violent man in judgment Deut. 1: Judges must not accept bribes Ex. 23: Judges must not accept testimony unless both parties are present Ex. 23: Not to curse judges Ex. 22: Not to curse the head of state or leader of the Sanhedrin Ex. 22: Not to curse any upstanding Jew Lev. 19: Anybody who knows evidence must testify in court Lev. 5: Carefully interrogate the witness Deut. 13: A witness must not serve as a judge in capital crimes Deut. 19: Not to accept testimony from a lone witness Deut. 19: Transgressors must not testify Ex. 23: Relatives of the litigants must not testify Deut. 24: Not to testify falsely Ex. 20: Punish the false witnesses as they tried to punish the defendant Deut. 19: Act according to the ruling of the Sanhedrin Deut. 17: Not to deviate from the word of the Sanhedrin Deut. 17: Not to add to the Torah commandments or their oral explanations Deut. 13: Not to diminish from the Torah any commandments, in whole or in part Deut. 13: Not to curse your father and mother Ex. 21: Not to strike your father and mother Ex. 21: Respect your father or mother Ex. 20: Fear your father or mother Lev. 19: Not to be a rebellious son Deut. 21: Mourn for relatives Lev. 10: The High Priest must not defile himself for any relative Lev. 21: The High Priest must not enter under the same roof as a corpse Lev. 21: A Kohen must not defile himself (by going to funerals or cemeteries) for anyone except relatives Lev. 21: Appoint a king from Israel Deut. 17: Not to appoint a convert Deut. 17: The king must not have too many wives Deut. 17: The king must not have too many horses Deut. 17: The king must not have too much silver and gold Deut. 17: Destroy the seven Canaanite nations Deut. 20: Not to let any of them remain alive Deut. 20: Wipe out the descendants of Amalek Deut. 25: Remember what Amalek did to the Jewish people Deut. 25: Not to forget Amalek's atrocities and ambush on our journey from Egypt in the desert Deut. 25: Not to dwell permanently in Egypt Deut. 17: Offer peace terms to the inhabitants of a city while holding siege, and treat them according to the Torah if they accept the terms Deut. 20: Not to offer peace to Ammon and Moab while besieging them Deut. 23: Not to destroy fruit trees even during the siege Deut. 20: Prepare latrines outside the camps Deut. 23: Prepare a shovel for each soldier to dig with Deut. 23: Appoint a priest to speak with the soldiers during the war Deut. 20: He who has taken a wife, built a new home, or planted a vineyard is given a year to rejoice with his possessions Deut. 24: Not to demand from the above any involvement, communal or military Deut. 24: Not to panic and retreat during battle Deut. 20: Keep the laws of the captive woman Deut. 21: Not to sell her into slavery Deut. 21: Not to retain her for servitude after having sexual relations with her Deut. 21:14 27

29 SOME SUGGESTIONS FOR YOUR SE UDAT MITZVAH/RECEPTION The religious part of the B nai Mitzvah occurs in the sanctuary. Choosing to focus on Jewish values during your celebration later will continue to sanctify the day and make it special and memorable. Remember, everything we do with our children teaches them something. Decide as a family what you are really celebrating and what this moment in your life really means. This decision will help to guide you through the rest of the planning stages. You may find that the text, Putting God On The Guest List by Rabbi Jeffrey Salkin (Jewish Lights Publishing), will be quite helpful. CONSIDER JEWISH VALUES IN YOUR DECISION-MAKING: Gemilut Chasadim Acts of Lovingkindness Tzedakah Righteousness/Justice/Sacred Giving Talmud Torah Study of Torah Hidur Penei Zakein Honoring the Elderly Zicharon Memory Shabbat Honoring Shabbat Tzar Baalei Chayim Non-Cruelty to Animals Tikkun Ha-Nefesh Repairing the Self Tikkun Olam Repairing the World THEME Having a theme for your celebration might help to organize your vision for the day as well as serve as an educational tool for your family and friends. The challenge is to find an appropriate, relevant idea that reflects the Jewish values that are important to you. You might want to focus on a value or mitzvah spoken about in your Torah portion. For example: o Bereishit, the first portion in Genesis, is about creation. Use the theme of Tikkun Olam, repairing the world, and incorporate some environmental project in your celebration. Or, consider creating or beginning something that will benefit the world in some way. One idea is to establish a food reclamation program in your school to have kids donate the uneaten, wrapped portions of their lunches (i.e. unopened juice boxes, packaged snacks) which you will take to the local food pantry on a weekly basis. o The portion of Noach lends itself to a theme dealing with kindness to animals. You can find out about species which are becoming extinct, get information about what we can do to help and distribute it to your guests. You can ask guests to bring old towels, leashes, food, etc. for the animal shelters and then organize a time when everyone can go there to help out. This theme is an easy one to develop throughout your entire celebration. o There is a portion in Genesis called Toldot, which means generations. You might use this as a good opportunity to learn about the generations in your family. Make a family tree and use it as a table centerpiece. Contribute to organizations that focus on inter-generational activities. 28

30 o In the portion of Vayeshev Joseph interprets dreams. Develop the theme of dreams throughout your celebration. Contribute to organizations that make dreams come true for those in need, such as the Make a Wish Foundation or Myriam s Dream. Purchase kippot made by the elderly in workshops supported by Myriam s Dream, a non-profit organization helping older people throughout the world. o The first portion of the Book of Exodus is called Shemot meaning Names. Be creative. In what ways are names important? What does your name mean? What about other names? What about your Jewish name, what is its meaning, who are you named for? Find out the gematria (numerical equivalent in Hebrew) of your name and its significance. Does it tell you anything about yourself? Contribute to an organization that helps newborn babies those first being named. Contribute to one of the Holocaust museums or organizations those places which keep alive the names of those who were lost but not forgotten. o If Moses figures prominently in your portion consider the theme of leadership. You can learn about other famous leaders. What are the characteristics of leadership that are important? From a Jewish point of view, what makes a good leader? If you have a candle lighting ceremony, have each person (ahead of time) think of a different leader and the qualities that leader had that they would like you to emulate. Contribute to North American Federation of Temple Youth either generally or to their Leadership Training Programs to help our Jewish leaders of tomorrow. o Your Torah portion might speak about blessings. You can decide what blessings you have in your life and make sure that others who are less fortunate can be blessed in the same way. For example, food is a blessing. Organize a collection of canned goods and spend some time at the food pantry shelving supplies. Use canned food as the centerpiece for your tables and then donate the food to the hungry. Involve your guests in cooking food for the local soup kitchen. It is possible to use the temple kitchen for this purpose. TZEDAKAH o The invitation sets the tone for the celebration and can let your guests know what is important to you. In lieu of sending an expensive invitation, utilize your desktop publishing skills and make your own. Note on the back of the card that the simplicity of the invitation represents a donation to a tzedakah organization of your choosing. Similarly, the thank-you note can be produced in like fashion. o Give 3% of the total cost of food to Mazon, an organization that helps feed hungry people nationwide. If you contact them ahead of time, they will send you cards to put on your tables indicating your contribution. o Give donations which can make a difference in the lives of others in honor of each of your guests, not party favors which will cost you the same amount and end up in the trash. Purchase a tree in Israel for each guest or each candle lighter. Purchase a mootual fund, a share of a cow on Reform Kibbutz Lotan for each of your guests. o Check to see if the extra food can be donated to a soup kitchen. If you are somewhat insistant, many restaurants and caterers will help with this. The Salvation Army soup kitchen on Trinity Place in Montclair will accept prepared food. o Make either a financial donation or purchase something specific for the Temple, Religious School, or temple library in honor of your Bar/Bat Mitzvah. 29

31 o Flowers purchased to decorate the bimah could be donated to a local hospital or nursing home and not left in the Temple to wither. Let someone else enjoy them. o It is still possible to twin with either an Ethiopian Jewish child in Israel (through the North American Conference on Ethiopian Jewry) or one from Eastern Europe. Information is available through our Religious School. ENTERTAINMENT o Include Israeli dancing, not just the hora. Perhaps think about hiring someone to teach Israeli dancing. Consider klezmer music for part of the party entertainment. There is a Jewish storytellers network in New York City which can provide you with the names of local people who might add some very magical moments to your celebration as well. o It is possible to do a mitzvah project in place of or in addition to some form of entertainment. Why not rent a local school gym and sponsor a mitzvah basketball game. Ask friends to support one of the teams and pledge any amount of money for each point scored. Cook for the soup kitchen together. Take a trip to the Lower East Side of Manhattan, tour the Eldridge Street Synagogue and volunteer as a group to help in their restoration project ( ). Be creative! o The party should reflect the initial values that the Bar/Bat Mitzvah is based upon. Don t be afraid to be different. CANDLE LIGHTING o Make it meaningful and Jewish use your theme and be creative. If your theme is Jewish heroes/heroines, ask each candle lighter ahead of time to think of a specific characteristic of a great Jewish hero/heroine which they would like the Bar/Bat Mitzvah child to aspire to as they grow up. Or, if your theme is dreams, ask every candle lighter to think of a dream for the Bar/Bat Mitzvah child. Asking your family and friends to prepare for this honor ahead of time includes them in the celebration in a meaningful way. Their words for the Bar/Bat Mitzvah may become one of the most treasured parts of the celebration. CENTERPIECES o Choose something simple. Cut flowers can be beautiful and elegant on any table. They can be donated to a local nursing home after the party. If you want, choose something that goes along with your theme if you have one. For example, if your theme is famous Jewish sports figures and you decide to have sports equipment as part of your centerpiece, research what organizations can use that sports equipment and donate the centerpiece items after the party. Put a card on your table to let your guests know that even the sports equipment is going to be used in a Jewishly meaningful way. If your theme is Israel, you can purchase trees from the Jewish National Fund and make centerpieces that incorporate the certificates they send you. Make your own centerpieces. Do you dry flowers? Are you handy with woodworking? Incorporate something personal in your decorations. Can you make a centerpiece out of something that can be donated to those in need after the party? 30

32 KEEP IT JEWISH o Begin the meal with Kiddush and Motzi and end it with the singing of Birkat Ha-Mazon. Since we sing Birkat together every Wednesday night after pizza, many of our 6th and 7th graders not only know this blessing but have had an opportunity to lead it. Consider ending the celebration with Havdalah if the party will end late Saturday afternoon. Begin with Havdalah before a Saturday evening event. TABLE MITZVAH PROJECTS o You can take every opportunity to provide guests with an opportunity to be involved in a mitzvah. Simple table projects can work well and teach Jewish values in very simple ways. For example, if your theme is blessings, investigate organizations that bring blessings to others and put information about them on the table. Indicate that you will be donating some of your gift money to these groups in honor of the guests at your celebration. Ask each table of guests to discuss the organizations and indicate on a card provided which one they would like you to support. This will not only get people talking and learning, but will undoubtedly raise even more money for some worthy groups that you have selected to support. If your theme is learning, reading, books, etc., you can purchase books from the Temple book fair (which you plan to donate to a children s hospital ward or homeless shelter) to use as table centerpieces. Guests can be asked to bring children s books to donate as well. And last, you can set up a reading station where guests will have the opportunity to make a tape of the storybook they brought so the hospitalized children can either use it alone or listen to the tape while looking at the book. CELEBRATION VARIATIONS Most common is to have a celebration of some kind at a catering hall or restaurant directly after services. Other models that deserve your consideration include: using the temple social hall for a luncheon for guests or a kiddush for the entire congregation; having a luncheon at home; providing a luncheon for adult guests immediately after services and then having a more informal party for the children later that evening or the next day; inviting everyone to a mystery location and then involving them in a mitzvah project; taking a family trip to Israel; taking a family trip to the town in Europe (or any place around the world) where your ancestors came from and explore your Jewish roots; any combination of the above. CLOSING THOUGHTS Everything you do to make your Bar/Bat Mitzvah celebration personal, full of value and meaning will enhance the experience for all. Every celebration need not look like it s been shaped by the same cookie cutter. Have your celebration reflect who you are and what you believe as an individual and as a family. Make Jewish choices and don t be afraid to be different. It s worth it! The memories of how you worked together and of the incredibly meaningful celebration will last a lifetime. Put God on the guest list for your Bar/Bat Mitzvah. Iris Schwartz 31

33 FOR BAR MITZVAHS, A REVIVAL OF SPIRIT by SUSAN HARTMAN In the months before Shira Rockowitz s bas mitzvah, she and her parents gave a lot of thought to the best way to celebrate her coming of age. Shira was against disco bas mitzvahs, said Noah Rockowitz, her father. We felt an active good deed would appeal to her. When the Rockowitzes saw a brochure describing how the 1890s Eldridge Street Synagogue on the Lower East Side was being restored, something clicked. So Shira and a troupe of 43 friends traveled from Scarsdale, N.Y., donned work gloves and face masks, and swept and dusted. And before they left for a feast of blintzes and potato pancakes at Ratner s, another Lower East Side institution several hundred feet of blackened brass was gleaming. The souvenir group photo shows everyone smiling and wearing T-shirts that say I Shined With Shira. The Rockowitzes are among a growing number of Reform and Conservative Jews across the country who are looking for ways to put the mitzvah translated as either religious commandment or good deed back into the bar and bas mitzvah experience. Rather than staging extravaganzas, these families are planning less elaborate, but more spiritual celebrations. We re seeing it in congregations, in families and in the bar and bas mitzvah students themselves, said Rabbi Eric H. Yoffie, the president of the Union of American Hebrew Congregations, the national Reform group. It s a grass-roots phenomenon, very widespread. Instead of heading right in to dinner and dancing, guests at Talia Kramer s bas mitzvah party last month gathered in early evening darkness at Congregation Ansche Chesed on the Upper West Side. Talia s father, David Kramer, a professor of Talmud and rabbinics at the Jewish Theological Seminary, led everyone in the traditional havdalah ceremony, which marks the end of the Sabbath. He told the story from the Torah the five books of Moses of how Adam and Eve ended their first Sabbath. Then a guitarist friend sang about Miriam leading the women of Israel in song after they crossed the Red Sea. This song was based on the Torah portion discussed by Talia in her ceremony. The Kramers handed out dozens of bells and tambourines and they all danced together in circles. There s a significant number of American Jews who want to invigorate bar and bas mitzvah with spirituality, said Rabbi Jeffrey K. Salkin, the author of Putting God on the Guest List: How to Reclaim the Spiritual Meaning of Your Child s Bar or Bat Mitzvah, (Jewish Lights Publishing, 1995), which is used in 350 synagogues across the country. Actually, no celebration is necessary for a boy to become a bar mitzvah, which is Aramaic for son of the commandment. For at 13 in Jewish tradition a boy automatically assumes the religious responsibilities of an adult. In this century, the Conservative, Reform and Reconstructionist movements added the bas mitzvah for girls ( bas, also pronounced bat, means daughter). For thousands of years of Jewish history there were no bar mitzvah celebrations. It probably developed in the late Middle Ages among Jews in Germany and then spread eastward, said Jack 32

34 Wertheimer, professor of American Jewish history at Jewish Theological Seminary. The bar mitzvah party is largely a 20th-century phenomenon. Couples in their 40s with two children between 10 and 15 make up the majority of synagogue members, according to the National Jewish Population Survey of In the late 1980s, many Jewish baby-boom parents began reacting against over-elaborate parties and against what they saw as the hollowness of their own religious educations. They began looking for ways to return to the social commitments and idealism of their youth, of the 1960s, Rabbi Yoffie said. Synagogues have expanded their requirements for bar and bas mitzvah beyond the basic reading of a Torah portion and blessings. Most have set a minimum of attendance at 12 Saturday morning services before the big day, and many have yearlong programs in which parents and children study together. At the Community Synagogue in Port Washington, N.Y., students may choose a project based on a mitzvah like visiting the sick, performing acts of kindness or, as the Torah puts it, making peace where there is strife. And they must keep a mitzvah journal, recording how they fulfill these commandments. Some students, instead of just doing the minimum, want to take on more responsibility. Elizabeth Najman asked to give a d var Torah, a short sermon, during her ceremony at the Community Synagogue. I wanted to talk about how the Torah connected all the generations together, she said. No child had spoken from the pulpit in many years, but last August, a month before her bas mitzvah, she approached Rabbi Salkin, the brand-new senior rabbi. He had qualms about instituting a change so quickly. But kids look at the Torah with fresh eyes and have shown me things I didn t see before, he said. Recently, Salkin decided to require all of the children to deliver a dvar Torah at their bar and bas mitzvahs. For Elizabeth, the ceremony was the most important part of the day. During the party, I was so overwhelmed, I didn t even realize it was mine, Elizabeth recalled. I felt like a visitor, out of it. I was just so tired, so excited. The ceremony was more meaningful to me. I was more aware. Weeks later, when she was looking at party favors and reading from her sign-in book, she said, It hit me it had actually happened. The effort of the bar mitzvah year exacts a price. In a national survey of members of Conservative congregations, almost half the students interviewed said they had to give up sports and social activities to accommodate their training. But 99 percent of the students said their bar or bas mitzvah was worth it. In the survey, 51 percent said that the preparation for the bar or bas mitzvah dominated the family in the year leading up to the event. And often the parents find the experience enriching. For Wendy Goulston, 49, of New Rochelle, N.Y., who grew up in Australia, the bas mitzvah of Tamara Heligman, her daughter, inspired her to study as well. Her grandfather was an Orthodox rabbi, but girls in her family received no formal religious education. I gave myself a bas mitzvah present, Ms. Goulston said. For a whole year, I met monthly with a young, very spiritual rabbi and talked to her about what it meant for me to be Jewish. When it comes to bar mitzvah parties, many families go for intimacy, rather than inviting the world. No flower arrangements, no macarena, were the ground rules for Madelaine Bukiet s bas mitzvah on the Upper West Side on Feb. 1. Tables were decorated, but with books to be donated to the synagogue s library. And instead of a pop band, three musicians played Jewish tunes that 33

35 kept everyone on their feet. It was a not-very-organized party that went far deeper than I could have imagined, said her father, Melvin Jules Bukiet, a novelist. Michael Black of Roslyn Heights, N.Y., looking back on his bar mitzvah three years ago, said he was glad his family did not go for a big glitzy party. For a lot of kids, it s, Everyone you touch, you invite, said Michael, who is now a 10th grader at Herricks High School in New Hyde Park. They have these big, big parties people. It takes away from it. It s more like a show: whoever makes the biggest, best party wins. But no death knell has sounded for the big flashy bar mitzvah. Tavern on the Green has six staff members who help parents plan bar mitzvah parties. People choose all types of entertainment, said Allan Kurtz, the restaurant s director of private dining. Magicians, Brazilian dancers, candy sculptors, fire eaters. Salkin recently told a group of 12-year-olds and their parents in his congregation, You have not engaged me as an arbiter of taste, but how we celebrate is an ethical issue. His guidelines: no music at rock-concert decibels, no off-the-shoulder or low-cut dresses for girls, no parties so late that children miss Hebrew school the next morning. Yoffie understands it is hard to keep parties simple. Look, if people fly 500 miles, you can t give them a piece of herring, he said. Thirteen-year-old Lincoln Schnur-Fishman of Hopewell, N.J., wanted to go back to a simpler tradition. I talked to my grandfathers about their bar mitzvahs, and I saw that a bar mitzvah used to be an ordinary thing -- not a super-duper thing, he wrote in a bar mitzvah booklet he distributed to his guests. He and his parents, sister and five friends spent a week at a klezmer music camp, Klezkamp, in the Catskills, where he has gone since he was 6. One morning, without fanfare, they gathered with most of the camp s 500 guests for a service Lincoln prepared. It combined Jewish songs, his Torah portion and a short speech. Then everybody went to the hotel s regular lunch. Later that week Lincoln celebrated another milestone: after years of playing his guitar in kiddie bands at Klezkamp, he jammed with a group of adult musicians. The lessons of the bar or bas mitzvah can outlive the event. Shira Rockowitz, two years after her working bas mitzvah on the Lower East Side, heard of a community project in Reno run by the American Jewish Society for Service. I jumped at the chance, she said. Last summer with a group of 15 young volunteers there, she tarred a roof, refurbished a deck and built a community playground. It was that afternoon of shining in the Eldridge Street Synagogue that inspired her, Shira said. My friends still talk about it, she said. We still wear the T-shirts. Copyright 1997 The New York Times Company 34

36 MORE THAN JUST A PARTY CREATING MEANINGFUL B NAI MITZVAH by JUDITH KUPER JAFFE Four and a half years ago, on receiving her bat mitzvah date, my younger daughter began to plan for the event, putting her imagination in high gear. She liked what her older sister had done, choosing Lag B Omer as the theme of her reception and using both her D var Torah and a garden party motif to teach guests something about the holiday. She had also arranged to contribute leftover party food to a local food shelter. After much consideration, her younger sister decided that the theme of Tu B Shevat would suit her February bat mitzvah. Once again, the chosen theme was conveyed both through the D var Torah and the decorations, as guests learned more about Tu B Shevat and how to fit an ancient concept into 20th century suburbia. But there was more, and, looking back, Sheryl is especially proud of what she accomplished. On the day of her simcha, during her D var Torah, Sheryl noted that the centerpieces to be placed on each table during the party that evening would contain a rare breed of flowers called socks and gloves. Following the party, she said, the flowers would be transformed back to their original state (literally socks and gloves), washed, and donated to Jewish families who had recently immigrated and settled in our community. For six months prior to her bat mitzvah, she had enhanced her formal bat mitzvah preparation with the secondary task of sock rolling and flower arranging. Following the reception, at the Jewish Community Center of Paramus, New Jersey, Sheryl invited her friends to unroll the socks and gloves, then launder and deliver them to the newly arrived families to help see them through a difficult winter in the Northeast. Ours is only one family among a growing number striving to deepen the meaning of the bar and bat mitzvah celebration. Today, many people are asking some important questions: What will remain after the lavish party? Will anyone have gained other than the band and the caterer? How has this gala celebration helped transform the bar/bat mitzvah child into a mensch? Allison Freilich of B nai Emet in Minneapolis happily recalls her bat mitzvah, in which her whole family participated. While several family members chanted from the Torah, Allison and her uncle, a hazzan, sang several duets during the service. The centerpieces at the reception were food items that were later donated to a local food shelf, but that was pretty common that year, according to Freilich, who credits this phenomenon to former Rabbi Howard Siegel, who strongly promoted the concept. I was a flower lover, says Freilich, but after hearing what the rabbi said, I decided it was a waste of money when this could really be used for the good of the community. But Allison went even further. She invited approximately 40 friends to A Magical Mystery Tour on a Saturday night. After dinner and entertainment, the guests were transported to a large supermarket for a scavenger hunt. As she recalls, they were clearly confused. In fact, the Freilichs had planted clues throughout the store during the previous week. The children hunted for specific foods only to have Allison s family purchase the food and donate it to the local food bank. According to Allison s mother, this rather than the dinner and entertainment turned out to be the highlight of her daughter s bat mitzvah celebration. Later this year, Allison s brothers Daniel and Ryan will be celebrating their b nai mitzvah. They are planning to use toy centerpieces at their reception, which they will later contribute to the local Jewish Family Service and new Crisis Nursery, which holds children for 72 hours in an emergency family situation. The idea of using centerpieces as items of tzedakah is clearly catching on. Education Director Jane Myers of Temple Emanuel in Providence, RI, explains that in her congregation, centerpieces at synagogue events routinely consist of books, food and toys to be donated later to appropriate charities. In a variation of this concept, Temple B nai Israel in Millburn, NJ, uses food baskets in lieu of bimah flowers. 35

37 Sherry Rutman of Minneapolis wanted to make her daughter Leah s simcha a real mitzvah. In the beginning, Leah wasn t too excited about the idea, fearing that friends would think it was dorky. Now, after seeing their reactions, she feels differently. Leah placed plants on the tables at her reception and subsequently took her friends to the local Ronald McDonald House, where they planted the flowers and learned more about the facility. A few years later, a sign there still bears her name. Last year, a group of sixth grade parents, including Rutman and Temple B nai Emet Education Director Missy Lavintman, came together to find ways in which their children, from a variety of communities, could bond in religious school. They hit upon the idea of a hands-on mitzvah project. Students held a bowl-a-thon to raise money, then decided to contribute the proceeds to a local homeless shelter. After purchasing such items as coloring books and crayons for the children residing there, they held an ice cream social that brought together families from the shelter and families from the synagogue. Nineteen of the 22 b nai mitzvah candidates shared in this experience and created a scrapbook to commemorate it. Lavintman s daughter, Donielle, recalls that when she entered the shelter, she felt very lucky to have a home and a family. She plans to incorporate her experience into her bat mitzvah D var Torah. Hey students in the B nai Emet religious school also participate in a Tzedakah Coop, each contributing $100 and then researching and investigating different organizations before allocating the money. Families of the b nai mitzvah are strongly encouraged to contribute to organizations such as Mazon. Family Programmer Diane Lasken of Temple Emunah in Lexington, Massachusetts, recalls the recent Hol Ha Moed Sukkot bat mitzvah of Hannah Kreiger-Bensen. The service included special prayers for Sukkot, including Hallel and Hoshanot. The family encouraged their guests to bring lulavim and etrogim and then purchased an additional 18 sets so that everyone would have an opportunity to fulfill the mitzvah. Following the service, a luncheon was held in the synagogue. During the meal, Hannah s friends were invited upstairs to complete a social action project. Markers, paper, crayons, and other art materials had been provided by the bat mitzvah family. The guests, supervised by both parents and the synagogue USY leaders, decorated gift bags and contributed them later to children at two food pantries. Judy and Jules Gutin of Teaneck, New Jersey, celebrated their daughter Ariella s bat mitzvah last year. Enclosed in the announcement was a letter explaining that the invitation was not a request for a gift. Rather, the family asked that a contribution be made to one of the organizations Ariella suggested, and noted that ten percent of all monetary gifts would be donated to these groups. Areilla also asked each guest to bring one new wrapped toy to be distributed to needy children. Today, many synagogues are launching tzedakah curricula for b nai mitzvah, while other congregations have enthusiastically embraced the concept of community service. In addition, an increasing number of individual families are working to energize this traditional life-cycle event, highlighting specifically Jewish concepts and hands-on experiences in tikkun olam. Clearly it takes only a few families to make a difference. Once planted, the mitzvah seed can blossom and grow in every community. The author resides in River Edge, New Jersey, and is a member of the Jewish Community Center of Paramus.. She is a frequent contributor to Jewish publications. Reprinted from United Synagogue Review, Spring

38 r Making the Journey: A Chronological Overview r A Step-By-Step Sequence r Aliyah Primer/Torah Blessings r Honors Forms r Guideline for Writing a D var Torah r Guidelines for the Parental Prayer r Sample Bar/Bat Mitzvah Brochure Text r Driving Directions to Temple Ner Tamid r Use of Facility Contract r Addendum to Facility Contract: MAZON r Facility Application & Fee Schedule r Kashrut Guidelines r Photographer s Guidelines r Glossary r Who to Ask s APPENDIX 37

39 MAKING THE JOURNEY a chronological overview WHEN BAR/BAT MITZVAH STUDENT FAMILY/PARENTS 5th Grade Assignment of Bar/Bat Mitzvah Dates Assignment of Bar/Bat Mitzvah Dates End of 5th Grade Year Beginning of 6th Grade Year 1-3 Years Before 1 Year Before 9-12 Months Before 7 Months Before 3-6 Months Before 3 Months Before B nai Mitzvah Shul-In Meeting with Cantor and Cantorial Assistant to receive Torah portions * Meet with Cantor to evaluate prayer proficiency * Mitzvah Journal program begins * Meet with Cantor to select Torah portion verses to be chanted * All prayers mastered * Weekly meetings for lessons begin * Torah portion completed * Haftarah work begins Bar/Bat Mitzvah Orientation Meeting #1 (Parents Only) Bar/Bat Mitzvah Overnight Meeting #2 (Parents & Students Together) * Inform relatives and friends of the date * Arrange to meet with your Doubles family * Read Putting God on the Guest List *Reserve Temple social hall or other facility * Reserve caterer *Reserve DJ or other music Meeting with Cantor and Cantorial Assistant to receive Torah portions * Compile list of guests * Reserve hotel rooms * Select photographer/videographer * Compile final guest list * Order invitations * Purchase tallit, order kippot * Plan family trips and family mitzvah project * Begin work on any do-it-yourself centerpieces * Start (re)learning Torah Blessings * Make sure all deposits are paid for * Fulfill all Ner Tamid financial obligations * Laurie Schifano will contact you regarding: Oneg, Kiddush, Bimah Flowers 38

40 WHEN BAR/BAT MITZVAH STUDENT FAMILY/PARENTS 2-3 Months Before 1-2 Months Before Begin working on D var Torah with the Rabbi *Plan food for other weekend events, like Shabbat dinner & Sunday brunch *Review simcha music *Do seating charts for simcha * Address invitations (mail 6-8 weeks before) * Plan transportation arrangements *Make grooming appointments * Purchase clothing 1 Month Before 4 Weeks Before 1 Week Before Thursday or Friday Before THE DAY The Week After * Receive prayerbook binder from Cantor * Review and polish all prayers * Complete Mitzvah Journal * Complete Haftarah * Begin bimah work with the Cantor in the Sanctuary including reading form the Torah scroll * Complete D var Torah with the Rabbi * Usher the Bar/Bat Mitzvah before yours * Family Rehearsal with the Rabbi * ENJOY! (Remember to bring your tallit, kippah, prayerbook, Haftarah, and D var Torah) * Thank you notes * Follow-up on Mitzvah Project *Continue your Jewish Education 39 * Follow-up call from Laurie Schifano to confirm: Oneg, Kiddush & Flower arrangements * Confirm accommodations for out-of-town guests *Delegate last minute errands and details * Make lists for photographer & DJ *Call those who have not responded *Begin work on parental prayer * Laurie Schifano with special Welcome greetings for the brochure * Get copies of the Torah Blessings to those who need it * Submit honors list to Laurie Schifano * Usher the Bar/Bat Mitzvah before yours *Purchase refreshments and supplies for the Oneg (see appendix) * Coordinate all timing with the caterer, music, etc. * Prepare extra sets of driving instructions (if your simcha) is outside of the Temple * Grooming appointments * Family Rehearsal with the Rabbi (bring honors list to the rehearsal) * Take family photos (Saturday morning is also an option) * Drop off Oneg supplies and bring kippot/yarmulkes to the Temple * ENJOY! (Remind your child to bring tallit, kippah, prayerbook, Haftarah, and D var Torah) * Encourage your child to keep growing as a Jew and join the Confirmation program

41 A STEP-BY-STEP SEQUENCE FRIDAY NIGHT T FILAH (WORSHIP) BEGINS AT 8:00 P.M./LAST FRIDAY SERVICE BEGINS AT 6:30P.M. The family s participation is limited to the Shabbat berakhot (blessings) over the candles and the wine (pp. 3-5). The family, usually the parent(s) and the Bar/Bat Mitzvah (siblings are welcome to join in), will be called up to the bimah by the rabbi and stand behind the candle table. A parent (usually the mother) will lead in the English reading prior to the candle blessing. The Candles are already lit. The Cantor leads the entire congregation in the singing of the candle blessing. Then a parent (usually the father) will read the English prayer prior to the Kiddush. Then the Bar/Bat Mitzvah will lead in the singing of the Kiddush, after which (only) the Bar/Bat Mitzvah will take a sip from the Kiddush cup. The family will then return to their seats. n IN THE CASE OF A DOUBLE, the parents will divide the corresponding English readings, and the two B nai Mitzvah students will sing the Kiddush together. THE SERVICE SATURDAY MORNING TEFILLAH (WORSHIP) BEGINS AT 10:00 A.M. The Bar/Bat Mitzvah student will assist the Cantor in leading the morning worship. The family s involvement will begin at the Torah service (p. 244). n IN THE CASE OF A DOUBLE, the liturgy will be evenly divided between the two students. REMOVAL OF THE SEFER TORAH When the Cantor motions for the congregation to rise, the following people should come up to the bimah: the 2 ark openers; those involved in the handing down of the Torah (usually 1 member of each generation: grandparent, parent, Bar/Bat Mitzvah). The ark is opened. The Rabbi removes the Torah scroll and hands it to the grandparent who hands it to the parent who hands it to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah. The Bar/Bat Mitzvah then stands in the center of the bimah between the Cantor and the Rabbi. On cue, the Bar/Bat Mitzvah carries the Torah into the congregation for a hakafah (circuit); all the family members on the bimah return to their seats. The Bar/Bat Mitzvah completes a circuit whereupon the Torah is taken from him/her and placed on the reading table (amud). The Bar/Bat Mitzvah then sits down. n IN THE CASE OF A DOUBLE, each family will have its own handing-down-of-the-torah ceremony. Two Torahs will be used. However, one family will have the honors for the ark opening at the beginning of the Torah service (here), and the other family will have the honors for the opening of the ark when the Torah scrolls are returned (p. 49). n IN THE CASE OF A DOUBLE, at the end of the hakafah one student will bring his/her Torah scroll to the reading table; the other student will put his/her Torah scroll into the receptacle on the bimah. Both students will then sit down. 40

42 THE D VAR TORAH The Rabbi introduces the import of a child becoming Bar or Bat Mitzvah. The Bar/Bat Mitzvah is called to the bimah to offer his/her D var Torah (interpretation of the Torah portion for that week). If the Bar/Bat Mitzvah is reading only the maftir aliyah the fourth and final passage to be read from the Torah then he/she returns to his/her seat upon conclusion of the D var Torah; If the Bar/Bat Mitzvah is reading all four aliyot, then he/she remains on the bimah upon conclusion of the D var Torah. THE K RIAH / READING Following the completion of the D var Torah, the Rabbi begins calling up family and friends who have been designated for aliyot. Each family has four aliyot (except in the case of twins). The third aliyah is given to the parent(s). The fourth aliyah is given to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah. This is known as the maftir aliyah. Each aliyah consists of the recitation of the Torah blessings before and after the reading of Torah (this person must be Jewish and over the age of 13) and the reading of the English translation of the selection of the Torah just read (this can be done by either someone who is Jewish or not Jewish). When the aliyah is completed, the person(s) then moves to the other side of the reading desk as the next aliyah is called up. THE PARENTAL BLESSING After the Bar/Bat Mitzvah has completed his/her aliyah, the Cantor leads us in singing Shehecheyanu and Siman Tov u Mazal Tov. Then the parent(s) offers his/her prayer and words of blessing to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah. n IN THE CASE OF A DOUBLE, the previous aspects of the Torah service (the D var Torah, the K riah/torah reading, and the Parental Blessing) will be repeated. HAGBAH AND G LILAH The Rabbi will next call up those who have been designated to lift (hagbah) and dress (g lilah) the Torah. The Sefer Torah (Torah scroll) is lifted up high above the head of the lifter, showing the selection of the scroll that was read. Then the lifter sits down with the scroll as the dresser rolls the Torah together, binds it, and replaces the mantle and crowns upon it. The Torah is placed in a receptacle on the bimah; the lifter and dresser as well as the parents return to their seats. n IN THE CASE OF A DOUBLE, the honors for the lifting and dressing of the Torah will be divided between the two families. THE HAFTARAH The Bar/Bat Mitzvah chants the blessings and the Haftarah. n IN THE CASE OF A DOUBLE, each student will chant his/her own section of the Haftarah; they will split the chanting of the blessings, one doing the opening blessing and the other the closing blessing. 41

43 REPLACING THE SEFER TORAH Following the reading of the Haftarah, the Rabbi will call up 2 people designated to open the ark. As the ark openers come up to the bimah, the Bar/Bat Mitzvah retrieves the Sefer Torah from the receptacle and, as the ark doors are opened, replaces the Sefer Torah in the ark. The ark is closed and the Bar/Bat Mitzvah as well as the ark openers return to their seats. n IN THE CASE OF A DOUBLE, each student will replace the Torah s/he carried at the beginning of the Torah service. The honors for this ark opening will be given to the family that did not have ark opening honors when the Torah scrolls were initially removed from the ark. THE DISCUSSION It is the custom at Ner Tamid that the Rabbi will facilitate a discussion with the congregation concerning the morning s Torah reading. At the end of the discussion, the Rabbi will call the Bar/Bat Mitzvah back up to the bimah to offer his personal comments and blessing to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah. n IN THE CASE OF A DOUBLE, the rabbi will speak to both students together. CONGREGATIONAL CONGRATULATIONS Following the Rabbi s blessing, a member of the Ner Tamid Board of Trustees will offer the Bar/Bat Mitzvah official congratulations. This will include the presenting of a certificate as well as gifts from the Temple. After the presentation, the Bar/Bat Mitzvah will sit down. n IN THE CASE OF A DOUBLE, the presentations will be made to both students together. THE CONCLUSION OF WORSHIP The Rabbi and Cantor will conclude the worship. THE KIDDUSH After the service, everyone will gather in the Temple lobby for Kiddush. The Cantor will lead in the singing of V Shamru. The Bar/Bat Mitzvah will lead in the singing of Kiddush (short version). The Rabbi will lead in the Motzi. n IN THE CASE OF A DOUBLE, both students will lead in the Kiddush together. If one of the families is having their Se udat Mitzvah / Reception at the Temple owing to space considerations we may choose to have the Kiddush in the sanctuary immediately following the closing song. THE SE UDAT MITZVAH / RECEPTION Mazal Tov. 42

44 ALIYAH PRIMER Below are the basic fundamentals of being called to the Torah (aliyah) at Temple Ner Tamid. Meaning to go up or ascend, aliyah also implies a spiritual ascent. It is considered one of the most sacred privileges in Judaism. Consequently, you must be Jewish and of age (i.e., Bar/Bat Mitzvah) to qualify for an aliyah. Indeed, the ceremony of Bar/Bat Mitzvah is a celebration of a child s first aliyah. The melody for chanting can be found on the Temple Website < on the left side of the page. HEBREW NAME Proper form requires you being called to the Torah by your Hebrew name. This includes not only your given name but the name (s) of your father and/or mother. The formula would thus be: for men Ya akov ben Avraham v Sarah for women Racheil bat Avraham v Sarah Although Hebrew names are the benchmark for this tradition, Yiddish names are also acceptable. COMING UP When your name is called, come to the bimah (pulpit) and stand to the left of the reader. S/he will point to the place in the sefer (scroll) where you are reading. Touch that spot with the tzitzit (fringes) of your tallit (prayershawl), or the corner of your siddur (prayerbook) and then kiss the tzitzit or the siddur. At this point the reader will close the scroll and some peole, while reciting the b rachah (blessing), choose to grasp the two wooden posts of the scroll. THE FIRST BLESSING Below is the blessing recited in Hebrew prior to reading of the Torah. You should recite the first line, wait for the congregation to respond with the second line, then repeat that seond line and read the rest of the first blessing. (Please note that in transliteration kh and ch are pronounced the same.) Praise Adonai, the One to be praised. Praise Adonai, the One to be praised, forever. Praised are You, Adonai, our God and Ruler of the universe, who has chosen us from among the peoples and given us the Torah. Praised are You, Adonai, the Giver of Torah. The congregation responds Amen. 43

45 THE TORAH READING Following the conclusion of the first b rachah, the reader will read the selection from the Torah. When s/he is finished, the Rabbi will direct the English translation of the Torah selection to be read. THE ENGLISH TRANSLATION It is customary at Temple Ner Tamid to offer the English translation of the Torah text. This reading, which is printed in every Bar/Bat Mitzvah brochure, may be read by the person who blesses the Torah or by an additional person. Moreover, the reader of the translation does not need to be Jewish. THE CONCLUDING BLESSING Following the translation of the Torah selection, the conclusing b rachah is offered. Again the person offering the blessing will touch the place in the sefer (scroll) with his/her tztizit (fringes) of the tallit (prayershawl) or the corner of his/her siddur (prayerbook), and may choose to grasp the posts of the Torah scroll while reciting the blessing. (Please note that in transliteration kh and ch are pronounced the same.) Praise are You, Adonai, our God and Ruler of the universe, who has given us the Torah of truth and implanted within us eternal life. Praised are You, Adonai, the Giver of Torah. The congregation responds Amen. AFTER THE CONCLUDING BLESSING Following the concluding b rachah, the person(s) who was called to the Torah should now move to the reader s right and remain there until the next aliyah is concluded. Then return to one s seat. 44

46 45

47 HONORS SINGLE BM/3 ALIYOT ARK OPENERS TORAH PASSING ALIYAH # 1 HEBREW NAME ENGLISH NAME ALIYAH #2 HEBREW NAME ENGLISH NAME ALIYAH # 3 HEBREW NAME ENGLISH NAME MAFTIR HEBREW NAME ENGLISH NAME HAGBAH (Lift Torah) G LILAH (Dress Torah) ARK OPENERS 46

48 HONORS DOUBLE BM/3 ALIYOT FAMILY #1 ARK OPENERS TORAH PASSING ALIYAH # 1 HEBREW NAME ENGLISH NAME ALIYAH #2 HEBREW NAME ENGLISH NAME ALIYAH # 3 HEBREW NAME ENGLISH NAME MAFTIR HEBREW NAME ENGLISH NAME G LILAH (Dress Torah) 47

49 HONORS DOUBLE BM/3 ALIYOT FAMILY #2 TORAH PASSING ALIYAH # 1 HEBREW NAME ENGLISH NAME ALIYAH #2 HEBREW NAME ENGLISH NAME ALIYAH # 3 HEBREW NAME ENGLISH NAME MAFTIR HEBREW NAME ENGLISH NAME HAGBAH (Lift Torah) ARK OPENERS 48

50 GUIDELINES FOR WRITING A D VAR TORAH A d var Torah (literally, a word of Torah in Yiddish known as a vort ) should never attempt to be anything more than the identification of a question about the Torah followed by a straightforward and simple answer. It is not a sermon. Or a term paper. It is nothing more and nothing less than a single idea based on the text of the Torah. PART 1 There are two ways to look at the Torah portion: You may choose to address the larger theme that runs throughout the text (e.g., talking about the concept of law for the portion that contains the Ten Commandments); You may choose to examine a single verse or even just a word in the Torah portion (e.g., What can we learn about the Binding of Isaac from the fact that at the end of the story Abraham returns alone?). The first step then is to identify the question/difficulty in the Torah portion. PART 2 Once you have done that, you need to consider how you would resolve the difficulty. What are your thoughts about it? What do you think is the way to read Torah? The wonderful thing about Torah study is that there are no wrong answers. The process of midrash is the combination of the text and the reader. Torah is only complete when we put ourselves (through our ideas and questions) into the text. This way the Torah is not just an ancient document but a living and never-ending source of Truth. Think of the Torah as a Ma ayan a Well or a Sha ar Gateway to important ideas. What we want to hear is what ideas you have to offer about Torah. PART 3 The last part of the D var is applying the lesson you have taught us to our lives today. This is especially powerful when you can apply it to your life, particularly as a Bat or Bar Mitzvah. The three parts of the D var then are: Introduction and identification of the question and/or difficulty of the text; Your solution; The application of your lesson (the solution) to our lives. PLEASE NOTE... The D var is not a Thank-You speech. It is a teaching. On this day, you are a teacher. For some examples of Divrei Torah, see our website at < Also, use the other side of this page to get yourself started. 49

51 HERE S HOW TO GET STARTED: My Torah portion is from the book of. I finished reading my Torah portion (in English) on (date). My first meeting with Rabbi Kushner was on (date). The section from my Torah portion from which I will be reading is about... Three questions I have about my Torah portion? (What doesn t make sense?) Possible answers to ONE of the above questions? Tell me about a situation in your own life that reminds you of your portion. 50

52 GUIDELINES FOR THE PARENTAL PRAYER Rabbi Eliezer ben Rabbi Shimon said: A man is responsible for his son until the age of thirteen; thereafter he must say, Blessed is He who has now freed me from the responsibility of the boy. Midrash Genesis Rabbah 63:10 The tradition of the parent reciting a blessing upon a child's coming of age is quite ancient. The above text indicates that it was ritualized, probably performed on the occasion of the child's first aliyah And although it might seem a bit inappropriate to recite a prayer freeing one from responsibility for the child, its underlying principle should be most instructive in preparing your remarks to your son or daughter. Indeed, in many ways Bar/Bat Mitzvah marks the individuation of the child; it is the commencement of a young person's acceptance of adult responsibility and the freeing of the parent from that task. The intent of the parental prayer in our service is to afford the mother and/or father the opportunity to publicly acknowledge- in a sacred setting - the joy and pride they feel at that moment. More important, however, they can also use that time to share their hopes and dreams for their child, particularly in relation to being called to Torah. In other words, it's an opportunity to articulate the meaning of the moment. This ritual is not to be confused with the addresses that take place at the se'udat mitzvah or luncheon celebration. This is a unique opportunity - in the presence of our community as well as friends and family - to ask for God's blessings for your daughter or son. The gesture should be addressed to your child, not the congregation. Moreover, it should be directed toward the future. Where is it that you hope this moment will lead your child? What do you hope he or she will take from here? You may wish to use some of the examples provided or write something entirely unique. In any event, we encourage you to prepare your remarks in advance. We also respectfully request that each parent's remarks not exceed two minutes. When you are done, please feel free to hug your child. Crying is permitted. If you have any questions about the ritual, Rabbi Kushner or Cantor Greenberg or Cantorial Assistant Ronni Pressman will be more than glad to offer their insights. Good luck and Mazal Tov. 51

53 SAMPLE PRAYERS Into our hands, O God, You have placed Your Torah, to be held high by parents and children, and taught by one generation to the next. Whatever has befallen us, our people have remained steadfast in loyalty to the Torah. It was carried into exile in the arms of parents that children might not be deprived of their birthright. And now I pray that you, my child, will always be worthy of this inheritance. Take its teaching into your heart, and in turn pass it on to your children and those who come after you. May you be a faithful Jew, searching for wisdom and truth, working for justice and peace. Thus will you be among those who labor to bring nearer the day when God will be One and God's name will be One. Gates of Prayer May your eyes sparkle with the light of Torah, and your ears hear the music of its words. May the space between each letter of the scrolls bring warmth and comfort to your soul. May the syllables draw holiness from your heart, and may this holiness be gentle and soothing to you and all God's creatures. May your study be passionate, and meanings bear more meanings until life arrays itself to you as a dazzling wedding feast. And may your conversation, even of the commonplace, be a blessing to all who listen to your words and see the Torah glowing on your face. Danny Siegel Praised is God who has granted new responsibility to and to us. As begins to enjoy his/her new status among the Jewish people, a status which redefines our own role in his/her life, may God grant us the wisdom to continue as guides and counselors, allowing to life in accordance with the teachings of our Torah as a responsible Jewish adult. Barukh ata Adonai Eloheinu Melekh Ha-Olam (for a male) she-p'ta-rani mei-ansho she-la-zeh. (for a female) she-p'ta-rani mei-anshah she-la-zoh Praised are You, Adonai our God, who rules the universe, who has freed us of some responsibilities and conferred new ones upon. The Rabbinical Assembly 52

54 THE BAR/BAT MITZVAH BROCHURE Temple Ner Tamid provides brochures containing the texts of the Torah and Haftarah readings for each Bar and Bat Mitzvah celebration. These brochures can be printed on colored paper from our Temple inventory or you can provide your own paper stock. (Please consult with the family with whom you are sharing the Shabbat and/or the Temple office to finalize these arrangements.) Additionally, some families choose to incorporate a more personalized greeting into the brochure. Below are some sample texts. Please try to keep your comments to words. Should you have any questions, feel free to speak to the Rabbi or Temple office. JESSE ROGERS BAR MITZVAH: OCTOBER 31, 1998 Today, we affirm and rejoice in Jesse s coming of age as a Jewish man. During the Sabbath Service, Jesse will chant from the Torah. This act acknowledges Jesse s acquisition of a sacred skill the ability to read Hebrew and his acceptance of the Torah s moral and ritual teachings. Comprising the Five Books of Moses, the Torah is the most sacred possession of the Jewish people. As a Bar Mitzvah Jesse will also have the right to read a passage from the Books of the Prophets or the Haftarah. Jesse will explain to the community what his Torah portion means to him as he undertakes and accepts his new responsibilities in life as a Bar Mitzvah or child of the commandment. As we participate in the Torah Service, Jesse s uncle Glenn and his brother Samuel will have the honor of opening the Ark. The Torah will be passed through three generations, from Jesse s grandmother Marilyn Rogers to his father Michael and finally to Jesse, who will then carry the Torah throughout the congregation. Prior to reading each section of the Torah, family members will be given one of the most important and cherished privileges in Judaism an Aliyah being called up to Torah. First Aliyah Jesse s Grandfathers Marvin Rogers and Fred Harraka Second Aliyah Jesse s Aunts Deborah Rogers and Audrey Pangilinan By tradition, the final two Aliyot will be given to the parents of the Bar Mitzvah, Michael and Judy, and the Bar Mitzvah himself. Following the reading of Torah, Howard Rogers, Jesse s cousin, will hold the Torah and Jesse s brother Matthew will have the honor of dressing it. Jesse s uncle, Fred Harraka, and Aunt, Claire McCreath, will be honored with the second Ark opening as the Torah is returned to the Ark. This day of great joy has added significance as Jesse s Bar Mitzvah coincides with the celebration of his Grandparents', Fred and Josephine Harraka s 50 th Wedding Anniversary. While rare, this dual event has happened before. Jesse s father Michael also celebrated his Bar Mitzvah with his grandparent s Willie and Rae Rogers Golden Wedding anniversary. After our service, we invite everyone to join us in blessings over wine and challah in the lobby. Jesse's great uncle and aunt, Harry and Bernice will sing the blessing over the wine. His uncle, Howard Segal, will recite the blessing over the challah. Thank you for sharing our happiness and pride on these milestones. 53

55 Emily Goodman s Bat Mitzvah: May 29, 1999 Welcome. Today we celebrate as Emily reaches this milestone and becomes an adult member of the Jewish community. As a Bat Mitzvah, daughter of the commandment, Emily will chant from the Torah, the sacred scroll that contains the instructions that are the foundation of Judaism. She will explain her Torah portion and the lesson it offers us in today s world. Emily will also read a passage from the Haftarah, the Books of the Prophets. During the Sabbath service, friends Helene Berger and Louis Gitlin will open the Ark. Helene and Louis witnessed the signing of the ketubah, the religious marriage contract between Emily s parents, seventeen years ago. The Torah will then be passed through three generations, from two grandmothers, Helene Goodman and Mitzi Levitt, to Emily s mother Laurie and finally to Emily, who will carry the Torah throughout the Sanctuary. Family friend Irving Gottlieb will receive the Torah from Emily at the conclusion of the processional. Prior to the reading of each Torah section, family members will be given an aliyah, the honor of being called up to bless the Torah. The first aliyah will be given to Emily s grandparents Helene and Jerry Goodman. The second aliyah will be given to Emily s grandmother Mitzi Levitt, cousin Sid Levitt and to cousin Terry Greenstein, a rabbinical student. The third aliyah will be given to Laurie and Bruce and the last, by tradition, to the Bat Mitzvah. After the service, we invite everyone to join us in blessings over wine and challah in the rear of the Sanctuary. We are thankful that family and friends are sharing this joyous day with Emily. Our fond wishes go to Jesse Eisenberg and his family as we all rejoice in his becoming a Bar Mitzvah. Laurie and Bruce Goodman 54

56 Jesse Eisenberg s Bar Mitzvah: May 29, 1999 Shalom. On this Shabbat as Jesse becomes Bar Mitzvah, all Temple Ner Tamid members and guests will share the joy of welcoming him into the community as an adult. As he teaches us about this week s Torah portion (Naso), then chants his passages from Torah in trope (musical embellishment of the liturgy), and concludes with his Haftarah portion, Jesse continues the rich and sustaining tradition of our Jewish history. This is symbolized by the passing of the Torah between generations at the beginning of the Torah service: first from Papa Jerry to Jesse s dad, Woody, and then on to Jesse, to carry throughout the congregation in celebration and honor. We are pleased to welcome some family members to the bimah to participate further in this service. The first aliyah for Torah blessings will be for Jesse s grandparents, Anita and Jerry Silver, and his uncle, Larry Silver. The second aliyah will be for Jesse s aunt, Judy Silver, and his sister, Ariel, who became Bat Mitzvah four years ago with the same Torah portion! The third aliyah will be for Ellen and Woody (Mom and Dad) and the fourth aliyah, the maftir, belongs to Jesse as his Bar Mitzvah portion. Jesse will participate in every aliyah by chanting each of the Torah portions. The ceremony of holding and re-dressing the Torah (hagba and g lila) will be done by our travelling cousins Stephen Offsey and Adam Silver. Jesse s aunts, Marcia Offsey and Judy Silver, will then open the Ark for the returning of the Torahs. Both B nai Mitzvah students will have a presentation by family friend, Marilyn Kushner, on behalf of Sisterhood, Brotherhood and the Synagogue. As we join together in kiddush after the services, the two families sharing this simcha will, with one voice, conclude the start of happy and successful paths in Jesse and Emily s lives. Shabbat Shalom. Ellen Silver and Woody Eisenberg 55

57 JED DINNERSTEIN S BAR MITZVAH: OCTOBER 17, 1998 Today s Sabbath service, during which Jed becomes Bar Mitzvah, is a very special time for us. Today, we recognize and celebrate Jed s coming of age as a Jewish man. You will hear Jed chant prayers from the Torah and Haftarah in Hebrew and speak to us in English about what his Torah portion meant to him. Rosh Hashanah, the new year and Simchat Torah, the day for celebrating the Torah, have just passed. These holidays signal new beginnings. At this time of year we read from the Torah s beginnings. The Torah Service During the service, Rabbi Steven Kushner and Cantor Jessica Levitt will lead us as we welcome the Sabbath and as we participate in Jed s Bar Mitzvah. Two of Jed s aunts, Elizabeth Erwin and Amy Winkelman, will share the honor of opening the Ark. Jed s sister, Molly, will have the honor of dressing the Torah. Four times during the service, members of our family will be asked to sing special blessings that precede and follow the act of reading from the Torah. It is also an honor to be called to sing these blessings. The honor is called an Aliyah, and it means to go up, to go to a higher place. By tradition, the next-to-last honor is reserved for the parents of the Bar Mitzvah. The last honor is reserved for the Bar Mitzvah himself. The other two honors during our service will go to: First Aliyah: Jed s Grandparents Leonard and Frances Blackman Second Aliyah: Jed s Uncles and Aunt Gary Blackman, Mark Blackman and Sharon Kugelmass Later during the service, the Ark will be opened again by Jed s great-uncle Gerald and great-aunt Esther. The Torah is divided into weekly sections which are read consecutively. It takes a year to complete the five books of the Torah. The Torah is kept within the Ark and you will be asked to stand when the Ark is opened. The Torah will be taken from the Ark and you will see it passed from generation to generation: from Jed s grandfather to his father to him. Then, Jed as Bar Mitzvah, will receive the honor of carrying the Torah throughout the congregation. Today s Parashah, or Torah portion, is from the book of Genesis. Jed will read from the Torah for the first time today. He will chant his portion from the hand-written scroll with Hebrew letters. There are no vowels or indications of what the melody should be. These are things Jed has studied in preparation for becoming a Bar Mitzvah. Jed s Parashah takes place in the Garden of Eden and tells the story of Adam and Eve, G-d s instructions about the apple and the role of the snake. Every year at this time, Jews around the world read and interpret this part of the Torah. The interpretation is called D var Torah and represents Jed s first foray into a world rich with debate, filled with ideas that may come from ancient rabbinical treatises, contemporary social problems and personal insights. The D var Torah is one way that Jed, as a Jewish person, will try to bring the teachings of the Torah into his own life. Every Shabbat, or Sabbath, a passage from the Prophets is also chanted. This is known as the Haftarah. Reading this passage is a custom that dates back to Roman times when the reading of the Torah was forbidden. Jed has prepared for this day with many years of Religious School and recently, with intensive 56

58 lessons in chanting his Torah and Haftarah portions. In this work, he has been aided by Mrs. Rochelle Rubin, who taught him with a kindness that infused all of our preparations for today. Cantor Levitt has also worked closely with Jed and combined her skill and her support for him in equal measure. Rabbi Kushner guided the intellectual development of Jed s D var Torah with sensitivity, patience and wisdom. Jed and the rest of the Blackman-Dinnerstein family thank them all. Unbidden, life provides us with many opportunities for struggle. In August, we suffered the loss of Jed s grandmother, Judith Dinnerstein. Before she died, Jed chanted his Torah portion for her and in this way, Jed began what he will complete today. Her memory is a blessing. Days of great celebration are distinguished not only by their joyousness but also by their scarcity. We meet this day with excitement and with pride. We bid you welcome to Jed s Bar Mitzvah. After our service, we invite everyone to join us in blessings recited over wine and challah in the lobby. Jed s great-uncle Jay and great-aunt Marcia will sing the blessing over the wine. His great-uncle Elias will recite the blessing over the challah. Thank you for coming. MICHAEL VOMACKA S BAR MITZVAH: NOVEMBER 28, 1998 This year, Thanksgiving is celebrated for three days by Michael and his family, since we are proud and thankful that he is a Bar Mitzvah. During today s service, by being called to the bimah to chant passages in Hebrew from the Torah and the Haftarah, Michael is formally recognized as an adult member of the Jewish community. We are also especially glad that so many family members and close friends are able to be present today, including all four of Michael s grandparents Lucy and Donald Garcy from Texas, and Muriel and Frank Vomacka from South Carolina. Rabbi Kushner and Cantor Levitt will explain the service as it progresses. It is our tradition to pray without piano or choir on Shabbat morning, so please sing with us. Blessings before and after the reading of each Torah passage will be chanted by some of the family members. Such a tradition is called an aliyah. Others will be asked to open and close the Ark in which the Torah is kept when it is not being used in the service. Michael s Torah portion concerns a religious revelation experienced by Jacob, one of the forefathers of the Jewish people. Jacob is a son of Isaac; Jacob s sons will include Joseph, who will be sold into slavery in Egypt and later become a great leader. As this portion begins, Jacob has left his parents home, where he appropriated the birthright and blessing of his older brother, Esau. He is traveling to stay with his uncle, who will deceive Jacob into working for him for many years before he can marry the woman he has chosen for a wife. Michael will chant the passage in Hebrew, reading the text in the specific melody reserved for Torah readings trop as he has been taught by Cantor Levitt. He will then explain the passage in English and offer an interpretation of its significance for us. The interpretation of the passage is called the D var Torah, Hebrew for word from the Torah. The custom of allowing the Bar Mitzvah to explain the scripture demonstrates both Jews devotion to Torah study and Judaism s willingness to let each generation find new relevance in the Torah. Michael s Torah portion has a special meaning for his family since it recounts Jacob s experience just after he has left his home and family, partly to seek independence. 57

59 Michael and his family thank his teachers in the religious school, especially Barbara Sack and Mindy Guralnick. We thank Cantor Levitt for her time and special spark in motivating Michael to learn trop. Rabbi Kushner has given Michael patient guidance as to the D var Torah. We also appreciate the assistance of the Brotherhood and Sisterhood of Temple Ner Tamid and the Temple staff in helping to prepare for the services Friday evening and this morning. Everyone is invited to join us in the lobby after the service for blessings over wine and challah, and the traditional sibling tug-of-war that only true challah connoisseurs can appreciate. 58

60 DIRECTIONS Temple Ner Tamid 936 Broad Street Bloomfield NJ from North Jersey Take Garden State Parkway south to exit 151 (Watchung Avenue). Turn right onto Watchung and proceed 1/2 mile to 2nd traffic light (Broad Street). Turn left onto Broad Street and proceed 1/4 mile. Temple is set back on the hill on the right. from South Jersey Take Garden State Parkway north to exit 151 (Watchung Avenue). Turn left onto Watchung and proceed 1/2 mile to 3rd traffic light (Broad Street). Turn left onto Broad Street and proceed 1/4 mile. Temple is set back on the hill on the right. from West Jersey from Route 46 Take Route 46 East to Route 3 east (follow signs to Lincoln Tunnel). Take Route 3 to Garden State Parkway south, and follow North Jersey directions. from I-78 or I-280 Take I-78 or I-280 to Garden Sate Parkway north, and follow South Jersey directions. from New York City and Long Island George Washington Bridge Take I-80 west (express or local lanes) to Garden State Parkway south. Follow North Jersey directions. Lincoln Tunnel Take Route 3 west to Bloomfield Avenue exit. Turn left at bottom of exit ramp onto Bloomfield Avenue and proceed 1/4 mile to 2nd light, bearing right onto West Passaic Avenue. Proceed 1 mile on West Passaic to 3rd light (stay in left lane), after which West Passaic merges with Broad Street. Proceed straight on Broad Street to next traffic light (Watchung Avenue) and continue past light 1/4 mile. Temple is set back on the hill on the right. DIRECTIONS Temple Ner Tamid 936 Broad Street Bloomfield NJ from North Jersey Take Garden State Parkway south to exit 151 (Watchung Avenue). Turn right onto Watchung and proceed 1/2 mile to 2nd traffic light (Broad Street). Turn left onto Broad Street and proceed 1/4 mile. Temple is set back on the hill on the right. from South Jersey Take Garden State Parkway north to exit 151 (Watchung Avenue). Turn left onto Watchung and proceed 1/2 mile to 3rd traffic light (Broad Street). Turn left onto Broad Street and proceed 1/4 mile. Temple is set back on the hill on the right. from West Jersey from Route 46 Take Route 46 East to Route 3 east (follow signs to Lincoln Tunnel). Take Route 3 to Garden State Parkway south, and follow North Jersey directions. from I-78 or I-280 Take I-78 or I-280 to Garden Sate Parkway north, and follow South Jersey directions. from New York City and Long Island George Washington Bridge Take I-80 west (express or local lanes) to Garden State Parkway south. Follow North Jersey directions. Lincoln Tunnel Take Route 3 west to Bloomfield Avenue exit. Turn left at bottom of exit ramp onto Bloomfield Avenue and proceed 1/4 mile to 2nd light, bearing right onto West Passaic Avenue. Proceed 1 mile on West Passaic to 3rd light (stay in left lane), after which West Passaic merges with Broad Street. Proceed straight on Broad Street to next traffic light (Watchung Avenue) and continue past light 1/4 mile. Temple is set back on the hill on the right. 59

61 USE OF FACILITY CONTRACT TEMPLE NER TAMID 1. Non-refundable $100 deposit to book date. 100% of balance on signing of this agreement (one year prior to event). Full refund if room is re-rented. 2. The Board of Trustees must approve all non-religious use of facilities. 3. The facility usage fee includes the use of custodians for up to four (4) hours. The primary purpose of the custodian is to perform building maintenance and security during your function. It is assumed you will provide sufficient people to serve, cleanup and restore our facility at the end of your function. Any additional custodial time, in order to clean or restore our facility, will be charged to you at a rate of $25 per hour per custodian. 4. The House Committee will review events requiring more than 5 hours of regularly scheduled events and costs will be established by event. 5. Catering must follow attached guideline (set by Religious Affairs Committee). 6. Caterer is to coordinate with Temple office no later than one (1) week prior to event. 7. Caterer is required to leave kitchen, serving area and dining area as it is found. Caterer is required to take garbage to the dumpster. 8. Disc Jockeys use of the following equipment is strictly forbidden: - Bubble machines - Silly string - Smoke machines - Use of incendiary devices 9. Users must not obstruct the parking lot, hallways, entrances, and exits. 10. Smoking is not permitted anywhere within the facility. 11. User is responsible to repair, restore, or replace any damaged parts of the premises as speedily as possible at their own cost. If user fails to make required repairs, owner may undertake repairs and charge user the cost of repairs. 12. User is allowed access only to those areas as contracted for by this agreement. Classrooms, Library, etc. are not to be used unless arrangements have been made and agreed to by the House Committee. Use of the playground is strictly forbidden. 13. User agrees that it is your responsibility to make sure that all individuals or corporations hired by you, (i.e. caterers, bands, deejays, entertainment, etc.) provide Temple Ner Tamid with a Certificate of Insurance at least 30 days prior to the event. It is also the users responsibility to confirm with the Temple Administrator that all necessary certificates have been provided to the Temple. Your failure to provide the appropriate Certificate of Insurance will result in your not being allowed to use the Temple facilities. The certificate must evidence a minimum of $1,000,000 combined single limit bodily injury and property damage liability and include Temple Ner Tamid as an additional insured. USER ADMINISTRATOR DATE DEPOSIT 60

62 ADDENDUM TO FACILITY RENTAL AGREEMENT MAZON: A JEWISH RESPONSE TO HUNGER Temple Ner Tamid is a MAZON partner synagogue, reflecting our support of MAZON: A Jewish Response to Hunger, a major Jewish organization that raises funds and makes grants to organizations confronting hunger worldwide. As part of this policy, we encourage individuals and families using this facility for joyous celebrations (weddings, b nai mitzvah, anniversary parties any celebratory occasion) to add 3% to the cost of the celebration as an act of tzedakah to help alleviate hunger in our country, in Israel and around the world. Your tax-deductible 3% contribution, forwarded to MAZON, will add joy and meaning to your celebration and make a real difference to hungry people everywhere. Please send your contribution to: MAZON: A Jewish Response to Hunger Wilshire Blvd., Suite 303 Los Angeles, CA (301) For more information, please check with the Rabbi s office or call MAZON at the number above. We are proud of our congregation s partnership with MAZON and we encourage your family to make this voluntary contribution to MAZON part of renting our facilities. 61

63 FEE SCHEDULE FOR FACILITY USE Member Non-Member Entire Facility (includes Kiddush) $565 $1125 Chapel/New Meeting Room $565 Sanctuary Only NC $500 Social Hall / Kitchen $500 $750 Rear Hall / Kitchen $375 $500 Kiddush Only: Light * $125 $190 Extended ** $250 $315 * Light Kiddush is more than Challah and Wine, Finger Food ** Extended Kiddush: 1.5 hours max. Above costs include custodian, tables, chairs, set-up and break-down. ADDITIONAL FEES: Caterer Kitchen Fee $190 Holidays additional *** $250 *** New Year s Eve and Day; Easter Sunday; Memorial Day weekend; July 4; Labor Day weekend; Thanksgiving weekend; Christmas Eve and Day. All deliveries of refreshments and flowers for the Oneg Shabbat on Friday night and Kiddush on Saturday morning must be at the center counter in the Temple kitchen by noon on Friday (or, if needed, in the refrigerator nearest the social hall entrance) and labeled Friday night or Saturday with the date and the name of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah child in order to avoid confusion. If you wish to take your flowers home, it is important that you delegate someone to be responsible for removing them from the premises at the end of the celebration. 62

64 APPLICATION FOR TEMPLE FACILITY Date of Function Type of Function Committee/Group Representative s Name Phone# Time of Event to Set Up Plan: Date Time Number of People SPACES NEEDED (check all that apply): Sanctuary Kitchen Library Rear Hall Social Hall Classroom(s) CLEAN UP ARRANGEMENTS: Custodians Caterer Committee Please answer the following if applicable to your function: Name of Caterer Florist Will Need: Piano Microphone(s) Video (TV) Video (LCD) Tape Player CD Player Other (specify) OTHER INSTRUCTIONS: For table set-ups see recommended floor plans or use blank plan. If you have any questions or problems, contact the House Committee, through the Temple office. SPACE FOR HOUSE COMMITTEE / DO NOT WRITE BELOW ATTENDANT ASSIGNED TYG NOTIFIED INSURANCE CERTIFICATE RECEIVED CATERER S BOND RECEIVED 63

65 ROOM LAYOUT ALTERNATIVES 64

66 ROOM LAYOUT 65

67 KASHRUT GUIDELINES FOR TEMPLE NER TAMID Temple Ner Tamid, affiliated with both the Conservative and Reform movements of American Judaism, requires that all food brought into or prepared in the building be in keeping with our dietary guidelines of kashrut. Although there are differing opinions among Jews today as to what entails keeping kosher, we nevertheless believe that the basic categories of prohibition of pork products, shellfish and the mixture of meat and dairy are worthy of our respect and observance. Additionally, we affirm the mitzvah (commandment) of ritual slaughter (sh chitah) and therefore require that all meat products be prepared under rabbinical supervision. Below are the basic guidelines for the preparation and/or consumption of food at Temple Ner Tamid: n no pork or pork product may be brought into the Temple; n no meat or meat product may be brought into the Temple without rabbinical supervision (hashgachah) only meat or poultry from a kosher butcher, kosher caterer or a sealed package containing a rabbinical stamp of approval may be brought into the building; Temple Ner Tamid s kitchen is basically set up for the preparation and serving of dairy meals Rabbi Kushner must be consulted and his prior approval obtained before any meat or meat product is brought into the Temple; n dairy (milk, cheese, etc.) and meat (beef and chicken) products may not be served at the same meal nor may they be prepared at the same time in the same area; n no shellfish (e.g., shrimp, lobster, crab, scallop) may be brought into the Temple only fish having fins and scales are acceptable; n dairy, egg, pasta, fruit and vegetable products may be brought into the Temple without Rabbinical supervision; n all beverages are acceptable; n store-bought bread products (cookies, crackers and baked goods) must use 100% vegetable shortening (no lard or meat by-products); n home-baked goods must use 100% vegetable shortening (no lard or meat by-products) and be cooked in disposable tins or on aluminum foil; n because of the complexities of the requirements of kashrut during the Passover season, we ask that no food (including beverages) during the 8 days of Passover be brought into the synagogue except by permission of the Rabbi. SOME BASIC TERMS OF KASHRUT kash-root / that which is permissible, proper mil-khig / dairy or having dairy ingredients hash-ga-cha / rabbinical supervision hek-sher / a kosher stamp-of-approval sho-chet / ritual slaughterer (butcher) flay-shig / meat or having meat ingredients parve / neutral, non-meat and non-dairy (eggs, vegetables, fruits, pasta) mash-gee-ach / a rabbinical supervisor sh chee-tah / ritual slaughter September

68 PHOTOGRAPHER S GUIDELINES PLEASE GIVE THESE GUIDELINES TO YOUR PHOTOGRAPHER. Photography still or video is not permitted during worship. Many families choose to have a professional photographer take pictures during the week before Bar/Bat Mitzvah (often at the family rehearsal), or on the morning of the ceremony. Whatever your arrangements, please follow the following guidelines. Your cooperation is appreciated. TO THE FAMILY Inform the Laurie Schifano in the Temple office of your photography arrangements. We cannot guarantee that the sanctuary will be available unless the space is reserved. If you plan on taking pictures in conjunction with the family rehearsal, please coordinate this with the Rabbi. TO THE PHOTOGRAPHER All photographic equipment must be removed from the sanctuary by 9:30 a.m. on a Shabbat morning. The Torah scrolls may not be opened for photography without the consent or presence of the Rabbi, Cantor or Cantorial Assistant. The Torah scrolls may be removed from the Ark for posing purposes only. No chairs may be moved or rearranged by a photographer on a Saturday morning. If the photographer needs to move any sanctuary furniture, s/he must ask the Temple custodian to do it. The microphones on the reader s desk or lectern may be removed for photography; please replace them afterward. Photography may resume at the kiddush ceremony immediately following the Shabbat morning service. 67

69 GLOSSARY 50 WORDS OR PHRASES YOU ARE LIKELY TO HER AT A BAR/BAT MITZVAH 68

70 Aliyah the honor of being called up to the Torah to recite the blessings, it literally means to ascend or to go up Amidah the core collection of praises and petitions in the worship service, the word literally means 'Standing' because the prayers are traditionally recited while standing Amud the lectern or desk from where the Torah is read and services are led Aron HaKodesh the Holy Ark, the place where the Torah scrolls are stored Ba al K riah Master of the Readings the Torah reader; fern. Ba'alat K'riah Bar/Bat Mitzvah the son/daughter of the commandment, this is the title given to all adult Jews to signify their status of being responsible to fulfill mitzvot Beit K nesset House of Assembly, it is the word for Synagogue', it is also used when referring to the sanctuary or primary place of worship in a synagogue Bimah literally elevated place, it refers to the part of the sanctuary where the worship is led and the Torah is read Birkat Hamazon the blessing recited after eating; Grace B nai Mitzvah plural of Bar or Bar/Bat Mitzvah (in case of 'all girls' the correct phrase is vumn,ubc B'not Mitzvah) B rakhah a blessing; a prayer with the formula hh v,t lurc Barukh ata Adonai or Blessed are You, Adonai Chazan Cantor; the traditional Shaliach Tzibur or leader of worship Chumash meaning 'five', it refers to the Pentatecuch or The Five Books of Moses'; the book form of the text of the Torah D var Torah literally a word of Torah, this refers to the 'interpretation' or 'commentary' offered in explanation of the week's Torah portion Erev Shabbat Friday night; the eve of the Sabbath G lilah the act of binding the Torah; rolling the Torah scroll together, wrapping it with a binder and then dressing or covering it with the mantle Haftarah the additional Biblical reading (taken from the Prophets) on Sabbaths and festivals, the word is derived from rtp meaning to open Hagbah the lifting up of the Sefer Torah (Torah scroll) following the completion of the Torah reading 69

71 Hakafah a circuit; the carrying of the Sefer Torah (Torah scroll) around the sanctuary Havdalah the making of a separation; the ceremony marking the end of Shabbat Kaddish a doxology or sanctification of God's name, this prayer is most frequently identified with mourning and the remembering of the anniversary of a loved-one's death Kiddush the sanctification of the wine; the word can be used to refer to the specific prayer over the wine or the ceremony of drinking wine on a Shabbat morning (following the service) which precedes the luncheon Kippah a head-covering, often referred to by its Yiddish name, yarmuike_(pi. kippot) K riah reading, as in the 'reading' from the Sefer Torah (Torah scroll) K vod an honor, literally, it means 'something of weight' Maftir the last aliyah of the Torah reading, it is customarily given as an additional honor to the person reading the Haftarah; this is the aliyah reserved for the Bat or Bar Mitzvah Mazel Tov Congratulations" literally it means "[May you have] Lucky Stars" Mi Sheberakh a liturgical formula for a special blessing, it usually refers to a prayer for those in our community and our hearts who are in need of healing Mitzvah a Divine commandment, an imperative from God (pi. Mitzvot) Motzi referring to the blessing over bread, "...hamotzi Lechem min_ha-aretz the One who brings forth bread from the earth" Oneg meaning rejoice, this usually refers to the celebration following Erev Shabbat services Parashah a portion, as in the weekly Torah reading; can also refer to a section of a week's Torah reading (see also Sedrah) Rabbi meaning 'my teacher', from the Hebrew cr / Rav ('teacher') Sedrah the weekly Torah portion (see also Parashah) Sefer Torah literally Book of the Torah, it refers to the Torah scroll (see also Torah) Se udat Mitzvah the 'Reception'; it means a meal [in celebration of the performance] of a mitzvah Shabbat Shalom [May you have] A Peaceful Shabbat the Yiddish equivalent is Gut Shabbos ( Good Sabbath ) Shaliach Tzibur the Representative of the Community, this is the term used for the person who leads the congregation in worship (see Chazan) 70

72 Shehecheyanu the prayer recited on unique occasions, it acknowledges and thanks God for "...bringing us into life, sustaining us, and enabling us to celebrate this moment" Shema a prayer; the central articulation of Jewish faith, the word literally means 'Listen'; Hear 0 Israel: Adonai is our God, Adonai is One Siddur the Sabbath and weekday prayerbook Siman Tov a song often sung on joyous occasions, it's full text is Siman Tov u'mazal Tov y'hei lanu u-l khol Yis-ra-al meaning A Good Sign, a good portent for us and all Israel Tallit a prayer shawl, often referred to as a Tallis Tanakh an acronym for the three divisions of books comprising the Hebrew Bible T (Torah/Pentateuch); N (Nevi im/prophets); KH (Ketuvim/Writings) Tefillah prayer (generic); can also refer to the core collection of praises and petitions in the worship service (see Amidah) Torah from the Hebrew vrh/ YRH meaning to point or to shoot, the word means 'teaching' (see also Sefer Torah) Tzitzit the fringes which hang from the Tallit, they are four strings tied in a variety of knots which serve as a reminder of the Mitzvot or commandments and the covenant between God and the Jewish people Yad the pointer with which to read from the Torah scroll; literally, a hand Yahrzeit Yiddish for a year s time it refers to the anniversary of death Yishar Kokhekha" or Yishar Koyakh " meaning May your strength lead you on straight paths", it is usually recited to one who has just fulfilled a mitzvah; the customary response to this proclamation is Barukh t'hiyeh May you be blessed 71

73 SO... YOU STILL HAVE A FEW QUESTIONS? FOR QUESTIONS REGARDING ADDITIONAL TUTORING B MITZVOTAV BROCHURE (CONTENT) BROCHURE (PRINTING) D VAR TORAH FAMILY ACTIVITIES FAMILY SEMINARS FINAL REHEARSAL FINANCIAL MATTERS HONORS KIPPOT/YARMULKES ONEG/KIDDUSH PREPARATION PARENTAL PRAYER PHOTOGRAPHY IN SANCTUARY RESERVING SOCIAL HALL SCHEDULING OF DATES SHABBAT ATTENDANCE SPECIAL NEEDS TORAH BLESSINGS TUTORING SCHEDULE TZEDAKAH PROJECTS AND IDEAS PLEASE CONTACT Cantor Greenberg Cantor Greenberg Rabbi Kushner Laurie Schifano Rabbi Kushner Iris Schwartz Cantor Greenberg Rabbi Kushner VP for Finance Rabbi Kushner Laurie Schifano Laurie Schifano Rabbi Kushner Laurie Schifano Laurie Schifano Rabbi Kushner Cantor Greenberg Cantor Greenberg Cantorial Assistant Ronni Pressman Cantor Greenberg Cantorial Assistant Ronni Pressman Laurie Schifano Cantor Greenberg Cantorial Assistant Ronni Pressman Temple Ner Tamid Office Laurie Schifano Rabbi Steven Kushner Cantor Meredith Greenberg Cantorial Assistant Ronni Pressman Iris Schwartz lschifano@nertamid.org rabbi@nertamid.org cantor@nertamid.org rpressman@nertamid.org ischwartz@nertamid.org 72