To examine the qualities that make a good friend; a reminder that spiritual leaders seek likeminded friends.

Transcription

1 To examine the qualities that make a good friend; a reminder that spiritual leaders seek likeminded friends. Prearrange for students to bring twenty five cents in pennies, or use "play money." Make one poster for each of the four qualities of a friend, and slips of paper with friend qualities written on them. Friends? Together, define the word, "Friend." Note that we can have thousands of friends on facebook but they are friends we have never even met! Then: Perhaps the word friend is one of the most misapplied words we use! A real friend is not just an acquaintance. How would you feel if you left your house one day and suddenly you realize that you can never go back home? The people who provided security and friendship in your life are gone, replaced by strangers. How would you feel? David probably knew that feeling (I Samuel 18:2). After he played the harp for Saul, Saul insisted that David come to his house...to stay! Yikes! Things I Would Miss Ask: If you could not go back to your house ever again, what things or people or experiences would you miss the most? David was not to return home to live as before, once he entered the palace of King Saul. It might have been very lonely for a teenager at times. David probably needed a friend. Would you have been looking for a friend in that situation? God knew this and brought David a good friend. God made us "social creatures." Scripture says, "No man lives to himself." God wants us to have friends. So God sent David a friend who would stick closer to

2 him than even his own brothers (See Prov. 18:24.) That friend made his appearance in I Samuel 18:3--Jonathan, Saul's son. In Jonathan are characteristics we should seek in friends! In small groups we will look at these qualities together. I. SPIRITUAL COMMITMENT (I Samuel 18:1) Interactive Bible Study Idea Buy A Friend Ask: What if you could buy friends? Explain to the students that they have a chance to buy a friend. They can buy just the character qualities that they most like in a friend, but they only have twenty five cents to spend. Team leaders hawk "friend qualities." These qualities could include the qualities mentioned by the students in the exercise above. Everyone must buy the qualities they most desire in a friend. These qualities are written down on slips of paper and exchanged for the appropriate number of pennies. Debrief by asking students to share how they spent their twenty five cents. Allow time for students to redefine their definition of the word friend. Today s lesson could be approached as a presentation by four people, or by four small groups who have each prepared one of the four characteristics of a good friend. Hold up the Commitment poster. I Samuel 18:1 refers to Jonathan's soul. The soul is the spiritual part of the person, his innermost being. Jonathan s first quality was a spiritual quality. Jonathan was to share many things in common with David, but none more important than this. The word "knit" conveys the meaning of being bonded inseparably. The one thing that Jonathan and David shared more deeply than anything else was their kinship in spiritual matters. Later in their relationship, when David's life was threatened and he was in hiding, Jonathan went to David to "encourage him in the Lord" (1 Sam. 23:16). They were soul mates, blood brothers! Illustration What is a "blood brother?" The Indians in early America practiced this tribal ritual with each other and with the European settlers. Two people would prick their skin just enough to raise blood, and then blend their blood as it flowed. This ceremony bound them forever as brothers. Proverbs 18:28 says we cannot have many good friends. But in Christ, believers are "blood brothers" with each other, because of the shed blood of Christ on our behalf. God wants believers'to be the very best friends! Are your best friends believers? If your

3 friends don't understand your deepest values--your spiritual bond with Christ--they will not be able to share in or even understand your behavior, decisions, goals, or ethics. Beware developing your very closest friends among people who do not share your faith in Christ! II. STRONG CHARACTER (2 Samuel 1:23) Hold up the Character poster. Who would have imagined that God would joined the likes of David, a mere shepherd boy, with Jonathan, the king's son? David's friend certainly came from an unexpected quarter. Not only was Jonathan the king's son, but he was also a very sharp young man. He was: Strong--David's eulogy recorded in 2 Samuel 1:23 tells us that Jonathan was as strong as a lion. A Fast runner--again recorded in 2 Samuel 1:23. Good Marksman--Jonathan was good with a bow/arrow. Courageous--I Samuel 14:4-14 records the story of how Jonathan and his armor bearer took on 20 Philistines at one time and overcame them. Lovely--2 Samuel 1:23 says that Jonathan was "lovely" meaning he was lovable. He wasn't stuck up! Pleasant--2 Samuel 1:23. Here was a young man who could have been very snobbish, yet was outgoing and friendly to others. Saul's army accepted him as a leader despite his youth Although Jonathan was a very self-confident and attractive young man, he was not a calculating and self-serving individual. He was the king's son--he could have had any friend he wanted. Jonathan was "in;" he was "cool." David entered the picture as an overnight hero. Jonathan might have been taken off-guard by this young upstart backwoods shepherd boy who had just slain Israel's hated enemy Goliath. An "uppity" type would have taken pleasure in slighting David, attempting to "protect" turf and superiority in the face of this newcomer's sudden popularity. Some would have made fun of his accent, his clothes, etc. But not Jonathan, which tells us volumes about this young man. He was for real. No snobby, rich kid-"i'm-above-it-how-i-love-it" attitude! Jonathan was no wimp, but he wasn't a macho egotist with an "I-don't-need-nobody" air, either! His actions showed that he was active and growing in all areas of his life. He wasn t lazy, whiny, negative, or filled with his own self-importance. Being around him was a stimulus for others! He constantly encouraged David to "go for it," even when that meant surpassing Jonathan himself. Jonathan recognized David's destiny to become king in his place, yet he encouraged David not to give up! (See I Samuel 23:17). "As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another (Prov. 27:17). We should seek friends who will challenge us in our own character development, not one who will bring us down. Some students' worst problems are their best friends.why? Because they choose friends who accept them as they are rather than choosing friends who bring out the best in them. Jonathan was David's equal in many aspects, and his superior in others.

4 Jonathan was the kind of friend who encouraged David to excel in whatever he undertook! Jonathan didn t dampen David's drive to excel for fear that David might outshine him. Do some of your friends keep you down? Beware! They don't have your interests at heart--only their own. A good friend will sharpen you, and will hold you accountable for doing your very best! III. SENSITIVE COMPASSION (I Samuel 18) Hold up the Compassion poster. David had only the clothes on his back that day. Jonathan gave David two things, withholding nothing from his friend (See Proverbs 3:27-28): His robe and garments: Jonathan s robe was a royal one, made of purple in all likelihood. Nobody else in the entire kingdom would have even dared to wear a similar robe. It signified royalty. Yet, Jonathan yanked it off his own back and draped it over David. And Jonathan's garments were, in fact his undergarments. Jonathan completely outfitted David with the clothes that he needed. His armor and weapons, even his own bow. Jonathan was a crack archer; to give away his bow was to give his most prized possession. These are the things that Jonathan bestowed upon his friend David, who had nothing to give in return. Illustration Do you have anyone that you share clothes with, even underwear? It takes a pretty close friend to do that. Would He...? Ask, Would a best friend cause you to go to jail? ask you to take drugs or alcohol? exert pressure against better grades keep you from associating with those who succeed? Proverbs 25:20 reminds us that a real friend doesn t sing when you are down...he is sensitive. Philippians 2:4-8 reminds us to put the needs of our friends before our own needs. A true friend thinks of what he can give to the relationship, not one who thinks more about what he can get from the relationship. Also, I Corinthians 13 reminds us that true love "covers" the faults of others rather than exposes them. James 4:8 tells us that "love covers a multitude of sins." Which kind of person are you? Do you calculate what benefits you will derive from a friendship first? Or are you eager to give of yourself to help your friend? Make no mistake: nobody enjoys a moocher, an emotional dependent! A healthy relationship is created by people who share in contributing to it, and who are willing to make sacrifices for their friends. IV. STEADFAST CONCERN (I Samuel 20:35-42) Hold up the Concern poster. Jonathan knew in his heart that David would one day become king rather than himself. (See I Samuel 20:31 and I Samuel 23:17.) Yet, he remained loyal even

5 at personal sacrifice of his succession to the throne and the relationship with his father. Jonathan believed the best about David! He risked his father's considerable rage by defending David to his father (See I Sam. 19:4-7 and I Sam. 20:1-2 and 24-34). Jonathan remained loyal to David to the end of his life. Never could it be said of him that he was a fair-weather friend! In fact, in I Samuel 20:4, Jonathan said to David, "Whatever you want me to do, I'll do for you." Wow! Jonathan trusted David and helped him at any cost. See Proverbs 17:17. Jonathan s friendship was like that of Jesus, who: put his friends above himself (Phil. 2:1-8) lay down his life for friends (Jn 15:12-15) was a king but served! (Jn 13:12-14) Fair-weather or Firm Friends? Guide students to write down the name of their friends, as many as they can list. Then ask them to place an X beside those whom they think would be there for them Illustration Ever heard of a "fair-weather" friend? That is a person who will be a friend if it is convenient or coincides with his own goals or schedule. But when his friend needs something from him, he's nowhere to be found. A girl came home from college after one disastrous semester. She had become involved with the partying crowd. One old friend had continued to warn her about her friends but she shunned him--until she had to come home. She realized that her partying friends could care less; only her old friend who had rebuked her stuck around! Friendship is not a one-way street. To make friends takes time, effort and sacrifice. It often means that you do not get all that you want. You only get half of the ice cream; you have to listen to their music once in a while; you have to accompany them to their sports or activities. You don't get to do everything that you want to all the time like you might if you didn't have to consider the needs of the other person. That is what it means to be a friend. Jonathan was a true friend. It cost him much more than inconvenience! He paid dearly to be David's friend. Do you possess the qualities of Jonathan? Are you developing the kind of traits that others seek in a friend? Are willing to make any sacrifices to meet the needs of potential friends? Do you do things that they like to do even if those things are not your favorites? Friendship means doing things with and for your friends even when it isn't convenient. A "royal leader" will always seek out "royal" friends. If you are Christian, you will want Christian

6 friends. Do you? Bible Quiz Conduct today s Bible Quiz as a prelude to the lesson. If possible, let them know in advance when you intend to do Quiz first!