בכתב. RABBANIT AMIT YAGHOUBI Seeing G-d behind the Mask PURIM EDITION Compiled and Edited by Elan Perchik

Transcription

1 בכתב PURIM EDITION RABBANIT AMIT YAGHOUBI Seeing G-d behind the Mask Compiled and Edited by Elan Perchik

2 בכתב Purim 5776 Rabbanit Amit Yaghoubi Seeing G-d behind the Mask In the early 1900s, while bleak financial situations beset Europe, it was hard to progress. Notwithstanding, many families worked on raising enough money to at least purchase one ticket to send one of their children, often the eldest, to America. It was in America where new vistas were available and the settling of a better life was hopeful. It was of course very difficult to procure sufficient funds for such a cause, but it was something many families dreamed of doing. The intent was to over a course of time progressively send each child of theirs across the ocean. One such family was finally able to save up their last nickels and dimes and send their eldest daughter to America. With tears in their eyes, the parents of Anya, a sixteen-year old girl, said goodbye as the ship left the port. While Anya adamantly persisted in remaining with her family, her parents reassured her that everything would work out. In fact, they planned as soon as possible to send over another sibling and another sibling until the entire family would unite in America. And so, all alone, young sixteen-year old Anya journeyed across the ocean to the Golden Medina of America where a new life awaited her. Arriving in Baltimore, Anya was met by her cousins who took her in and helped her adjust to a new life. She slowly began to learn the language, go to school and educate herself. Meanwhile, letters were sent from her parents back home informing her of joyous occasions such as a newlywed sister, a brother s bar mitzvah, a new nephew and so on. As the years went by and Anya progressed in learning, found a job and built herself up, she wrote to her family at home, Please come here to America. I will teach you everything you need to know. But no letter ever returned with a reply. The letters abruptly stopped. Waiting and wondering, Why hasn t my family written to me? Anya soon heard rumors that there was a war in Europe. Letters were being censored. With the hope that she would one day reunite with her family, Anya was greatly heartbroken to hear after the war that all the rumors were more horrendous than ever imagined. From a passerby who had resided in her hometown she learned that her entire family had gone up in flames. Anya didn t know what to do. Here she anticipated reuniting with her family and had been building a future in America for them, but now it all came to a halt. Anya was now left as a young woman alone without her entire family. Where was she to begin? But being a woman of determination, Anya decided that she would rebuild her family. She would get married and name each of her children after her lost siblings, some of which she never knew. Quickly entering the realm of shidduchim, she found a lovely young man who shared the same dreams as she did and got married. Excited to begin building her family s life, she only awaited the birth of a child. But as one year went by, and then two years, and then three years and All alone, young sixteenyear old Anya journeyed across the ocean to the Golden Medina of America. 1

3 Purim 5775 בכתב We do have another girl who is up for adoption; her name is Miriam still no child, Anya began to worry. After seeing a number of doctors, Anya was sadly informed that she could not have children. She was devastated. Here she was yearning to rebuild her family and now she would be unable. Continuing to pray, eventually after eight years she told her husband, Maybe we should consider adoption. And so they phoned the Jewish agency in New York, only to happily be informed that there was a newborn baby up for adoption. A teenage girl was giving birth and wished to give her baby up. Jumping on the earliest flight to New York, Anya and her husband excitedly made their way over. Elatedly holding this little newborn baby in their arms, they were disappointed to see the agency lady s face in a frown. I m really sorry to tell you, the agency said, but the grandmother has decided to raise the child. The infant is no longer up for adoption. So you mean we came for no reason? sighed Anya and her husband. Well, the agent continued, we do have another girl who is up for adoption. Her name is Miriam; she is eight years old. Hearing of this other child, Anya said, That is very nice, but we were looking for a newborn. An eight year old is already too old. Maybe you should just meet her, persisted the agent, she is very sweet. Prevailing upon Anya and her husband to meet this lovely little eight-year old Miriam, she indeed is very sweet. She finds a place in their hearts, but they feel the same way. We really can t take her. We really want a little baby; someone who would only know us as her parents. And with that, they fly back to Baltimore. A year later, still without a child, Anya turns to her husband and says, Maybe we should have adopted that little girl. She really was sweet. Here we are a year later and still have no children. We are just getting older. Do you think she is still available? Why don t we call the agency and see, her husband says. And so they do. Hello, we met one of your orphans a year ago. Her name was Miriam. We were wondering if she is still up for adoption? As a matter of fact she is, replies the agency, Not many people want an eight year old, and even less want a nine year old. No one has taken her. Oh, that is great; we would like to take her. You can do that, assures the agent, but there is a complication. We found her brother and he is also in our orphanage. They are inseparable and we promised them that we would not separate them, but that they would go together. Okay, responds Anya, we will come to meet them. Flying again to New York, they meet now nine-year old Miriam and her six-year old brother Moshe. The two children are shy but adorable. Immediately falling in love, Anya and her husband tell the agency, We ll take both of them. Packing their suitcases with a few belongings, Anya, her husband and their new children, Miriam and Moshe, make their way back home to Baltimore. Arriving at their new home, Miriam and Moshe slowly and hesitantly enter inside as their new father takes their suitcases to their rooms. As 2 Rabbanit Amit Yaghoubi ~ Seeing G-d Behind the Mask

4 Purim 5775 בכתב Miriam and Moshe stand inside frozen and look around, Miriam starts to explore a little bit as Anya watches from a distance. Then all of Miriam stops and begins to stare. Turning to her new mother she says, Why do you have a picture of my bubby (grandmother) on your piano? Anya, lovingly staring down at Miriam and the picture of her mother, assumes that Miriam must think all ladies from Europe look like that. She must be looking at the picture of an older woman and thinking, Oh, my bubby! Anya, clutching Miriam tight, gives her a big hug as she gently says, This is a picture of my mother. Do you miss your bubby? Miriam again repeats, It is a picture of my bubby. It is okay, Anya soothingly reiterates, you can miss your bubby. As she is trying to comfort Miriam, she all of a sudden breaks away and runs to her room. Opening her suitcase, she grabs a pouch and runs back to Anya. You have the same picture as I do, Miriam says. Pulling out a picture of her bubby, Anya looks at the picture incredulously, This is my mother. You want to see a picture of my mother? asks Miriam. Taking out a tattered, old photo, she hands it to Anya. With tears in her eyes, Anya looks closer. Sara? This is my sister. Anya had unknowingly adopted her sister s two children. While we can never know for certain Hashem s plan, we can rest assured that He runs the world and is looking after us. Imagine if Anya and her husband would have immediately begun to have children. They would never have considered adoption and remaining alone in an orphanage would have been their own flesh and blood. Putting our trust in Hashem and believing that in our personal lives and the affairs of the world there is a Divine plan, we may pleasantly be surprised to one day reunite with our long lost-family. The Megillah read on Purim is called Megillat Esther, explained by Chazal to be a play on two words. Megillah stems from the word gilui, revealed, while Esther cognately relates to the word hester, hidden. The merging together of Megillat Esther balances the hidden and the revealed. It forces us to enter into our lives and examine everything we take for granted and recognize the hidden miracles. Although we live during a time of hester panim when Hashem s presence is opaque, He is still always orchestrating the events of the world behind the scenes. As Rabbi Avrohom Sutton observes, the word history is phonetically similar to the word hester, hidden. History is His story. It is G-d s story whereby global and personal events are guided by His Divine hand. Hidden within history is His story. In the words of the Baal Shem Tov, that which most succinctly depicts the hester of our lives and the lives of our ancestors is the game of hide and seek. Throughout history Hashem plays hide and seek with us. Imagine a young child playing this game with his friends. As he is running around and having a good time, he eventually comes across the perfect hiding spit. With his friends beginning to search for him, they are at a loss. Where History is G-d s story whereby global and personal events are guided by His Divine hand. Rabbanit Amit Yaghoubi ~ Seeing G-d Behind the Mask 3

5 Purim 5775 בכתב Abba, says the son, this time I am not leaving you Arm in arm, we will never again separate from one another. has he gone? Still quietly standing there, the father of the boy stands away at a distance smiling. He knows his son s friends are nowhere near finding him. Peeking out at his father from his hiding spot, the boy whispers, Abba, can I come with you? Looking back at his son, the father dissuades him. Don t move; you have the best spot! But I just want to say hello, whispers back the boy. Trust me, reiterates the father, just stay where you are. Listening to his father, the son remains hidden as his father continues to look on with a wonderful feeling. As the boy grows older and matures, so do his games. And every now and then when the father steps in to take a look at his son, the son yearns to join his father. But each time the response is the same, Stay where you are. Finally, there comes a point where the boy grows older and his games are now heavily intricate. Engrossed in the glamour of the game, the son no longer thinks about his father. And as time progresses even further, the son soon forgets about him altogether. But then everything changes one day. Where is my father? wonders the boy, I really miss him. He always used to show up, but I haven t seen him in such a long time. A few days later, the son is in for a big surprise. He at last sees his beloved father. Unsatisfied to merely wave at him from a distance, the son races over to give his father a big hug. Abba, says the son, this time I am not leaving you. I missed you so much; I want to follow you all around. Arm in arm, we will never again separate from one another. This is the story of our lives, explains the Baal Shem Tov. On a national level, Hashem every so often peeks out at us and reveals Himself. And when that occurs, it is a breathtaking revelation. All we can say is, Zeh Keli v anveihu This is my G-d and I will glorify Him. Throughout Tanach, the Jewish nation was privy to open miracles of immense proportion. But as time moved forward, with the destruction of the Beit Hamikdash, Hashem moved into the background. We no longer saw Him on front and center stage. And especially nowadays, with the opening of the newspaper, we are heartbroken to read of tragedy after tragedy and illnesses and hardships rampantly affecting people every which way we turn. But we mustn t forget the way to bring Hashem back into our lives. When we express our innermost desire to reunite with Him, He will reappear openly to the world. And this time, we will not simply wave and say goodbye. This time, with the final heralding of Moshiach and redemption, we will firmly embrace Him and remain together for eternity. The same is true on a personal level. Throughout our daily lives, Hashem appears every so often. We were supposed to receive a ticket from the police, but at the last minute we didn t. And when that happens, we come to realize, Hashem, you are really looking after me. Living with such an inspirational high, we feel Hashem is inseparably a part of our daily lives. 4 Rabbanit Amit Yaghoubi ~ Seeing G-d Behind the Mask

6 Purim 5775 בכתב But to a certain degree, even while we feel He is involved in our world, it appears as if He wishes for us to stay preoccupied in our game called life. He doesn t want us to say, I have seen Hashem and now let me remove myself from the game. He wants us to continue on playing. If we would have left when we first sighted Him, it would have been a premature and rash decision. He wishes for us to continue on in life keenly aware that He exists and is constantly a part of our lives. We may not always see Him, but that doesn t take away from the fact that He is always there. Only after learning the lessons of life and accomplishing that which we have been sent down to earth for, will we then be able to leave the game. At that point, we will be capable of embracing Hashem and remaining with Him forever. But as long as we remain in our earthly station, we are to continue learning the lessons and truths of life. Imagine a student sitting in a class distracted and drawing a picture. He is clearly not paying attention. How will the teacher get the child to focus on the material being learned? Announce, This is going to be on the test! When children hear this, their attitudes immediately shift. They change gears and realize that they are in school to learn. Our lives here in this world are akin to a child in a school surrounded by teachers. When we begin to zone out and lose focus, all we must do is alert ourselves to the reality that we are here in this world to learn lessons and pass the test of life. But every child needs his supplies to make it successfully through school. And indeed, in order to avoid getting completely lost in the games of this world, Hashem has granted us two tools: Torah and Tefillah. These two tools are inseparably united. Only are we most effectively able to connect to Hashem in Tefillah when we are connected to Torah. What does the Torah teach us? Exploring its main themes, it is clear that Hashem repeatedly tries to show us that He exists in this world. Whether it be the mass preaching of belief in G-d by Avraham Avinu or the story of the Megillat Esther or the intimate relationship conveyed in Shir HaShirim, throughout Tanach, one clear theme is stressed time and again. My children, I exist in this world. You may not be able to see me, but I am here. Tefillah focuses on the same theme. A true, heartfelt Tefillah is offered when one searches deep down in the recesses of his or her heart and seeks to fulfill Hashem s will. When one yearns that G-d be recognized and seen by all of mankind, one s entire approach to Tefillah dramatically changes. This is the meaning behind the dictum, Aseh retzono kir tzonecha Make His will like your will (Avot 2:4). Such a perspective indelibly impacts one s outlook. It is no longer, Hashem, save me! It is rather Hashem, help me see You in this situation. Often times we feel that we alone need to solve our own problems. But then Hashem reminds us, Don t just tell me to solve the problem; ask that When we begin to lose focus, all we must do is alert ourselves to the reality that we are here in this world to pass the test of life. Rabbanit Amit Yaghoubi ~ Seeing G-d Behind the Mask 5

7 Purim 5775 בכתב Sometimes we feel that we are standing stagnant in life and not going anywhere. But the reality is that at that very moment we are right before the Kisei Hakavod. you be able to see Me in your problem. Whatever we are dealing with, the greatest solution is being able to see Hashem in that difficulty. The climax of Tefillah is Shemonah Esrei, known as the Amidah. Amidah literally means Standing. Why do we refer to prayer with such a term? Herein lays one of the greatest truths. Sometimes we feel that we are standing stagnant in life and not going anywhere. But the reality is that at that very moment we are right before the Kisei Hakavod. All we must do in order to see G-d is remove the barriers of our mind. It is for this reason that when we pray we close our eyes. Our physical location appears to constrain and confine us. It seems to hold us down and keep us motionlessly standing. But the truth is that as we pray, we are meant to think of ourselves as changing locations. We may be physically thousands of miles away, but we are in fact standing in Yerushalayim, on Har Habayit and in the Kodesh Hakodashim. Anyone who has ever dreamed or been stimulated by imagination has experienced such a phenomenon. Located in one place, our minds take us somewhere else. Tefillah is about removing the barriers of our mind in order to clearly see G-d. The message is that even as we stand, we can travel to greatest of spiritual revelations and heights. Our second tool provided to us in this game of life is the Torah. Learning about the greatness of our ancestors, we gain a glimpse into the lives of human beings who lead larger than life roles and revealed G-d s cosmic plan. They were human beings with physical qualities and characteristics, yet rose above and beyond the limits of greatness we believe Man can achieve. In their unparalleled greatness, they revealed G-dliness into the world and played an integral role in His ultimate plan of world history. Learning about the lives of our Avos and Imahot, however, entails much more than a peripheral study. We are meant to deeply connect with them and integrate their ideals into our own lives. If they were capable of seeing Hashem in every aspect of the world, we can do the same. It is through these two exercises removing the barriers of our mind and recognizing that each of us is part of G-d s overarching scheme of world history that we create a most intimate relationship with Him. The Shulchan Aruch (Orach Chaim 690:6) rules that if the Megillah is read out of order, one has not fulfilled his obligation. One cannot read chapters three and four and then one and two. It must be read in sequence. The Baal Shem Tov writes that on a spiritual level this teaches us the attitude we are to ingrain within ourselves when entering Purim. Purim is not a story that once happened thousands of years ago; it is our personal story. Megillat Esther must be viewed as a manuscript of each and every one of our own individual lives. How can we achieve viewing the Megillah under such terms? Examining the story of the Megillah closely, we essentially see that it is 6 Rabbanit Amit Yaghoubi ~ Seeing G-d Behind the Mask

8 Purim 5775 בכתב the story of the Jewish people. Ever since our inception as a nation, we have persistently been thrust into exile. Exile after exile, we have been awaiting the time when it will all come to an end and G-d will save us once and for all. It is this theme which encapsulates the story of Esther. Following the destruction of the first Beit Hamikdash, the evil Haman ardently attempted to blot out all remnant of Jewish life. But then we experienced the unexpected. With a miraculous salvation by Hashem, the Jewish people experience a rebirth of sorts and survived. Esther then gave birth to Daryaveish, who went on to rebuild the Second Beit Hamikdash. The cycle of birth, destruction, exile, rebirth is something which has hallmarked Jewish history ever since the incipient stages of the infant Jewish nation. But what has kept us alive until this day? The fact that we know we are going to be redeemed. We may be unsure as to when it will exactly occur, but we have been promised by Hashem that it will certainly take place. The first time Hashem spoke to Avraham Avinu, He informed him to leave his land, his birthplace and house of his father and head to an unknown land which Hashem would reveal to him. Life, however, was not going to be easy upon arriving in a new environment. Famine would ravage the land. But nevertheless, Hashem promised Avraham that he would serve as a source of blessing to the world. The Zohar states that these words which Hakadosh Baruch Hu said to Avraham Avinu are the very same words every neshama is told before being sent into this world. The neshama is told Lech Lecha to travel away from its Father in Heaven and descend through three spiritual worlds until it arrives on earth. Only after traversing via such places of spirituality does it reach our physical world. But life will be challenging for the pristine neshama on earth. There will be times of spiritual starvation, a reality non-existent in Heaven next to the Kisei HaKavod. The neshama will thirst for nourishment and become confusedly off kilter. But it is precisely through this test of life that the neshama will attain ultimate blessing and achieve its purpose for which it was sent down to earth. Esther, Chazal say, symbolizes the holy and pure neshama which is sent down into this world. Stuck and entrapped within Achashveiroh s palace, so is the neshama placed into a coarse, physical body. But there is hope to extricate Esther and the neshama from such physical confines. Mordechai HaTzaddik, the righteous sage of the generation, looks to improve the sorry state of affairs and thwart Haman, representative of the yetzer hara, who is always there to stop him and the Jewish people from carrying out their higher spiritual calling. In equal opposition stand the accursed Haman and blessed Mordechai, not coincidentally being the same numerical value, five-hundred and two. It is at the moment Mordechai HaTzaddik can shine his light onto the darkness of Haman that he and his evil machinations cease to exist. It is precisely through this test of life that the neshama will attain ultimate blessing and achieve its purpose. Rabbanit Amit Yaghoubi ~ Seeing G-d Behind the Mask 7

9 Purim 5775 בכתב The end of the Purim story is not merely the suppression of evil, but the ascension of holiness. But eradicating the evil present in the world is not the end goal. If it would indeed be the ultimate objective, our Megillah reading would conclude three chapters earlier. Even after Haman and his children are eradicated, the Megillah continues its narrative. The Megillah goes on to detail the rescinding of the letters decreeing the Jewish people s decimation, the war fought and the unexpected turning of events. But there is good reason for the Megillah doing so. The end of the story is not merely the suppression of evil, but the ascension of holiness. It doesn t end with Haman s downfall, but must record the rising of Mordechai. Hashem s four-letter ineffable name, says the Gemara, is forbidden to be pronounced as it is written. However, we are still aware of it and can see it. The same is true of life on a larger scale. While we may be unable to clearly comprehend all of G-d s ways, He is still there. As Dovid Hamelech proclaimed, Shiviti Hashem l negdi tamid I have placed Hashem before me always. Chazal interpret this Pasuk to mean that one should constantly be imagining the name of Hashem before himself. This idea is clearly brought to light throughout the Megillah. Although Hashem s name is not explicitly mentioned in the Megillah, any time the word HaMelech appears, it refers on a deeper than surface level to G-d. We can still gain a glimpse into His master plan at times. For example, the Pasuk states that Esther told Achashveirosh that he and Haman should attend a party she would prepare for them. The first letters of the Pasuk form the four-letter name of G-d: יבא המלך והמן היום Let the King and Haman come today. With twelve such alluded names of G-d scattered throughout the Megillah, Hashem s hidden nature within the Megillah is quite apparent to the keen observer. Another such example is when Haman tells his wife and friends that he has everything one could possibly wish for wealth, children and fame ex- וכל זה איננו שוה לי בכל העת אשר אני ראה את מרדכי היהודי thing. cept for one Yet all this means nothing to me as long as I see that Jew Mordechai. The end letters of the words איננו שוה לי זה spell the name of Hashem backwards. Chazal explain that whenever the name of Hashem is written backwards, it refers to Hashem s attribute of rachamim, mercy, turning into din, strict judgment. At the moment when Haman remarks that everything he has is worthless because Mordechai refuses to bow to him, G-d s attribute of din sets into motion. But even during these dark moments of judgment, Hashem still watches over us. Hiding behind the mask of the world, He peers out onto His children and looks to save them. Such is the overriding message of Purim. As mentioned above, anytime the word HaMelech is mentioned in the Megillah, it alludes to G-d. Not by chance, the name of Haman as well shares the same gematria (numerical value) of HaMelech. The message embedded here is as we have been saying. Even during the most dismal 8 Rabbanit Amit Yaghoubi ~ Seeing G-d Behind the Mask

10 Purim 5775 בכתב moments of life, when it appears as if Haman will squelch all remaining spirit of Jewish life, Hashem stands at our side. Whenever we encounter the darkness of Haman in our lives, we are to remember that behind it all shines the illuminating light of Hashem. Let us delve deeper into the story of the Megillah. As Esther remains confined in the royal palace, she knows she will soon be summoned by King Achashveirosh. It has been thirty days since she has last been with the King, implicating that something is to occur in the near future. Why then should she follow Mordechai s instructions and enter the King s inner chamber unauthorized? Let her wait until she is sent for? But Mordechai will not hear of Esther s worries. It is now or never that Esther must make take the necessary steps to insure the Jewish people s survival. Finally acquiescing to Mordechai s plea, she instructs Mordechai to gather the Jewish nation together and declare a three day fast. Esther herself along with her maidservants will as well fast for three days. By accepting to fast for seventy-hours it was hoped that they would revoke G-d s strict meting out of din and evoke G-d s chesed (numerically seventy-two). Donning her royal clothes, Esther prepares herself to meet Achashveirosh. On a deeper level, Chazal note that Esther here was not only enwrapping herself with physical garments, but spiritual ruach hakodesh. Cloaked in garments of spiritual splendor and graced by G-d s presence, after three days of self-introspection and internal spiritual growth, Esther was now ready to approach the King. While any outsider would have argued that Esther was on a suicide mission, her face remained vibrantly optimistic because she was confidently aware that she was not alone. G-d was walking beside her and accompanying her entrance into Achashveirosh s private quarters. Inching closer to Achashveirosh s room, Chazal relate that Esther reached the Beit Ha tzelamim, the house of idols. At this point, the Megillah says of Esther, Va taamod Esther And Esther stood. Why did she choose to stop and stand still? She had not yet reached the inner chamber of Achashveirosh? Chazal, picking up on this nuance, explain that Esther stood frozen in fear at that moment for her ruach hakodesh had departed. Now feeling abandoned and alone, Esther turned to Hashem in prayer and said, Keili Keili lamah azavtani rachok mi yeshuati Hashem, why have you abandoned me? You are so distant from my salvation! As Esther continued to stand there, she began to weary. With the Beit Ha Tzelamim, a room full of Persian deities, just ahead of her, Esther s once radiant face wrinkled in pale lackluster. Cowering and losing her graceful sparkle, the guards on watch took note of Esther s situation. And then they began to imagine what would happen if she died. I will take her jewels! one guard remarked. I will take her crown and royal robe! shouted the other. Hearing what the guards intended to do with her dead body, Esther just about fainted. While any outsider would have argued that Esther was on a suicide mission she was confidently aware that she was not alone. G-d was walking beside her Rabbanit Amit Yaghoubi ~ Seeing G-d Behind the Mask 9

11 Purim 5775 בכתב In order to spiritually jump to higher plateaus, we must undergo a period of emptiness. But then, at that very moment, Va taamod Esther And Esther stood. As Achashveirosh sees Esther standing amidst her worst moment, he finds favor in her eyes. At the moment Esther felt helplessly lost and dwarfed by the threatening idols, she stood up with all her might. Esther s journey is our journey. Every individual who attempts to grow in spirituality faces moments of emptiness and enervating strength. We wonder where G-d has disappeared to. Standing at the threshold of a greater spiritual level, we feel abandoned like Esther. But it is precisely at that moment that we can rest assured we are growing. Before our neshama can rise in spirituality and advance, our previous lower-level neshama must be removed. It is on that account that spiritual growth often entails feelings of emptiness and neglect. In order to build a greater connection with Hashem and spiritually jump to higher plateaus, we must undergo a period of emptiness. This is clearly apparent from the life of Adam HaRishon. When Adam HaRishon was first created, his radiant neshama was capable of fitting into his enormous body which extended from one end of the earth to the other. However, after he sinned by eating from the Eitz Ha daat, he physically shrunk from his previous gigantic stature. His soul could no longer completely fit into his body. Part of it hovered outside of him. [It is for this reason that one can sometimes sense a glowing light surrounding tzaddikim. It is the reflection of their neshama hovering above them.] But Esther did not remain abandoned for long. Hashem immediately sent down three angels to support her. The three angels, Chazal relate, carried out different functions. One lifted up her neck; another graced her with a chut shel chesed, a charming contour of kindness, thereby adding color to her pale face; and a third extended the scepter of Achashveirosh beyond his inner chamber to Esther who was outside. With the assistance of these angels, she was able to lift up her head, touch the scepter and as Divinely intended receive a loftier neshama. Even during the most difficult and forlorn of situations, Hashem remained supportively at Esther s side. This episode of Esther is not simply a story, however. It carries with it profound ramifications and underlying meaning, as evidence by its connection to Yom Kippur. As Chazal tell us, Yom Kippur is like Purim. It is a day Ki Purim, similar to Purim. In what way are they alike? On Yom Kippur, the Kohen Gadol would enter the Kodesh HaKodashim, Holy of Holies. Performing the service of the Ketores, it was a day when G-d s presence was most palpably felt and connected to. The same was true of Esther. Walking towards the inner chamber of Achashveirosh, Esther was eventually revealed the presence of G-d, like the Kohen Gadol in the Kodesh HaKodashim. But Purim goes even further than Yom Kippur in this regard. While on Yom Kippur, the Shechina is most vividly sensed in the Kodesh HaKodashim, on Purim, Hashem is not confined to one locale. 10 Rabbanit Amit Yaghoubi ~ Seeing G-d Behind the Mask

12 Purim 5775 בכתב He is seen everywhere. Even at the threshold of an irreverent, wicked king, Hashem reveals Himself. The spiritual resistance felt whenever we wish to advance is experienced for two reasons, explains the Baal Shem Tov. Most simply put, Hashem wishes to see if we in fact are serious about reaching loftier heights. Additionally, such challenges and setbacks allow for feelings of spiritual emptiness to exist. But it is precisely then that we are meant to rouse ourselves and escalate to the next step. During the most difficult moments in our life the most spiritual opportunity avails itself. It is then that Hashem wants us to clench our Siddur and pour our heart out or grab the phone and go through with an act of kindness. That is our moment to shine. Imagine a king who accompanies his soldiers as they head out to battle. Not wishing for the enemy to immediately spot the king and set their focus on him, he disguises himself as an ordinary soldier. It is only the king s closest commandants who will be able to spot him. Well-versed as to how the king regally carries himself, all that must be seen to identify the king is his body movements. For those less familiar with the king, however, their identification of him will occur when they sight guards and soldiers heavily populated in one area. They know that therein stands the king. Our lives are a battle. How and where can we identify Hashem, the King of Kings? Those who are close to Him will easily detect His subtle movements and immediately locate Him. As for those who have yet to reach this level of relationship with G-d, they can locate Him during moments of resistance. The more constricted and challenged one feels, the more confident one can be that he will find Hakadosh Baruch Hu. Practically speaking, throughout our experiences in life, there are moments of ups and downs. Some relationships, for example, are wonderful and beautifully resonate within us, while others do not seem to be right. We feel almost as if we are uncomfortably rubbing shoulders with the other party. But, as our Sages teach, all those wonderful situations are there to help us deal with the hard ones. It is exactly there, amid the distress and frustration, where we will find ourselves standing in front of the Kisei HaKavod. Just as the moment a child in school can shine is when he is put to the test, so is it in life. This is the story of the Megillah. It is not a story which occurred centuries ago, but a story which occurs on a daily basis to each and every one of us. Trapped in the palace of Achashveirosh, we must resiliently confront the vicissitudes of life. But we must always remember that from the bleakest of situations, the most hopeful result. From the union of Esther and Achashveirosh, Daryaveish, who went on to build the Second Beit Hamikdash, was born. All our experiences between us and G-d, interpersonally and between us and our neshama are opportunities to uncover G-d behind the hidden mask. This is why, in the event of a Jewish Leap Year, Purim is observed During the most difficult moments in our life the most spiritual opportunity avails itself. That is our moment to shine. Rabbanit Amit Yaghoubi ~ Seeing G-d Behind the Mask 11

13 Purim 5775 בכתב When we can succeed in finding Hashem behind the mask, we will merit miracles during the Second Adar. When we can succeed in finding Hashem behind the mask, we will merit miracles the likes of Kriat Yam Suf and experience G-d s full glory. His Name will then be pronounced in full for we will have attained full clarity of His existence. May the day when the hester in our lives is revealed and G-d s masterful plan of world history reach its climax with the heralded coming of Moshiach. Thank you for reading! We hope you've enjoyed this first edition of B chtav by TorahAnytime If you've enjoyed, please let us know - it will encourage us to create more in the future. Questions? Comments? Critiques? Ideas? info@torahanytime.com TORAH-613 TORAHANYTIME is The world's largest yeshiva without walls spreading 6 million hours of Torah learning to Jews in 120 countries yearly. We are an independent 501(c)3 registered nonprofit and exist solely on individual donations from wonderful people who care about helping others connect to Hashem's Torah and identify more with their spirituality and kedusha (holiness). 12 Rabbanit Amit Yaghoubi ~ Seeing G-d Behind the Mask