Under The Magnifying Glass Kiddush Hashem in the Workplace

Transcription

1 1 Under The Magnifying Glass Kiddush Hashem in the Workplace Jewish in the Workplace Like any new employee, Yosi Heber, 1 an Orthodox Jew with an MBA from Wharton, was eager to make good at his first job in the corporate world. Within days he realized that he was at a decided disadvantage as compared to the other new recruits in his division. He was not part of the crowd from Harvard; did not play golf with the boss on Saturdays; and somehow, did not have quite the same junior executive look as the others. Even his name, common enough in Jewish circles, set him apart from his co-workers; he actually overheard one of the secretaries ask, What s a Yosi? And that was not all part of his job was to concoct new recipes for the non-kosher Jello manufactured by his employer, which he could not even taste! A week into the job he told his mother, I ll never make it. A year later Yosi was still there, by then armed with an important insight: If an employee is a non-jew, he or she can be perceived in the eyes of an employer in one of three ways: liked by people, disliked by people, or middle of the road ( one of the boys ). If a person is a frum Jew, however, there are only two possibilities: Either you will be respected because you are a frum Jew (and you create a kiddush Hashem 2 ), or you ll be disliked because you are a frum Jew (and that can lead to chillul Hashem 3 ). You cannot and will not ever be accepted as one of the boys. There is simply no middle ground for you in a corporate environment. (The Ethical Imperative - Torah Perspectives on Ethics and Values, page 56) When we venture out into the world, we do so with a built-in identity as religious Jews. Our behavior will always be subject to an extra degree of scrutiny, and it will reflect on all Jews. As Yosi discovered, we will either be respected specifically as observant Jews (a kiddush Hashem), or disliked, also specifically as observant Jews (a chillul Hashem, G-d forbid). Neutral will not be one of the choices. These are high stakes, requiring an ongoing, conscious effort on our part to make the kiddush Hashem. Either/Or Practically speaking, what constitutes a kiddush Hashem, and what is a chillul Hashem? Chazal provide some basic guidelines. The Torah commands us, And you will love Hashem your G-d (Devarim 6:5). Abbaye cites a bereisa which explains this commandment; not only should we personally love Hashem, we should inspire others to love Hashem as well. The bereisa also tells us how: One should learn Scripture and study Mishnah, and serve talmidei chachamim (a reference to Gemara study), and one s dealings with people should be pleasant. What do people say of [someone like this]? Fortunate is his father 1 Rabbi Heber received his MBA from Wharton and is the founder and president of Oxford Hill Partners. He learned in Telshe, Torah Vodaath, where he received semicha from Rav Pam, and Mir- Jerusalem, and is the author of the Daf Yomi Masechta Review audio series. 2 Sanctification of Hashem s Name. 3 Desecration of Hashem s Name.

2 2 who taught him Torah, fortunate is his teacher who taught him Torah Woe to those people who did not learn Torah. This person, who did learn Torah, look how beautiful his conduct is, how refined his deeds are. However, Chazal continue, one who learns Scripture and studies Mishnah and serves talmidei chachamim (learns Gemara), and his business dealings are not honest, and his interactions with others are not pleasant, what do people say of him? Woe to this person who learned Torah, woe to his father who taught him Torah, woe to his teacher who taught him Torah. This person who learned Torah, look how perverse his deeds are, and how ugly his behavior is (Yoma 86a, Rashi). A Torah student who is refined and pleasant is a walking kiddush Hashem. If he is rude, coarse, or dishonest, G-d forbid, his knowledge of Torah only compounds the disgrace, because he should know better. Based on this Gemara, there are only two options: either we make a kiddush Hashem by the way we conduct ourselves in the workplace, or G-d forbid, we can cause a chillul Hashem. We see that the Gemara lists no other possibilities. As Yosi Heber said, we are viewed above all as the Orthodox Jew. If the image we present is not positive, it will be negative; it can be only one way or the other. The dynamic of the workplace provides a constant challenge to both our middos and our principles as Torah Jews. Will we make the extra effort to be polite, refined, and helpful, even under pressure, and even when those around us allow themselves lower standards? Will we be strictly honest and conscientious with our employers, employees, clients and patients, even when it seems that we could easily get away with less? All this and more is what the Torah expects of us; adhering to these standards creates a kiddush Hashem. On occasion we are allowed a rare glimpse into the far-reaching impact of making a kiddush Hashem. The editor of the Detroit Free Press, Detroit s largest daily paper, related the following story to Rabbi Berel Wein. His mother Mary, a teenager newly arrived from Ireland, was employed as a maid by the family of the president of an Orthodox synagogue. This was her first encounter with Jews and religious Jewish life. When the family went on vacation in December, Mary stayed in their empty house. She suddenly realized that the family would be returning home on December twentyfourth, just in time for the Christian holidays, and they didn t have a tree! She decided to surprise them: she took the money they had left her and bought not only a nice tree for inside the house, but an assortment of holiday decorations, which she hung out in front. The family returned the night of the twenty-fourth. When they saw the decorated house, they could only assume that they were in the wrong driveway. They drove around the block, but quickly had to face the fact that this was indeed their house, decorated for the Christian holidays in full view of all the members of the shul, who had passed it on their way to davening! Mary was sincerely excited about her surprise, and couldn t wait to see the family s reaction. Her employer asked to speak to her in his study. He told her, In my whole life no one has ever done such a beautiful thing for me as you did. To show his appreciation for her thoughtfulness, he gave her a gift of one hundred dollars, a very

3 3 large sum of money in those years. Once he was sure she understood that they valued the gesture, he gently explained that Jews do not have holiday trees. Decades later, Mary s son, by then the editor of a prominent newspaper, told Rabbi Wein, And that is why there has never been an editorial critical of Israel in the Detroit Free Press since I became editor, and never will be as long as I am the editor. This shul president could not possibly have anticipated that Mary would one day have a son in an influential position, and the State of Israel was then still in the future. Unknown to him, his kiddush Hashem extended beyond his immediate circle and to the next generation ( The X-mas Tree, Jonathan Rosenblum, aish.com). How Bad is Chillul Hashem? How serious is chillul Hashem? We can gain some insight into this question by considering the exceptional difficulty in atoning for this particular transgression. Ordinarily, repentance, Yom Kippur, and/or suffering will serve to atone for transgression, depending on the nature of the specific sin. It is much more difficult to atone for causing a chillul Hashem. Repentance alone does not have the power to suspend punishment, nor Yom Kippur to atone for the sin, nor suffering to wipe it out. Rather, all three together suspend punishment, and only death wipes out the sin. Clearly, the transgression of chillul Hashem is more severe than any other; it is only when the sinner leaves this world that his sin is considered to have been removed as well. In Shaarei Teshuvah, his classic work on repentance, Rabbeinu Yonah 4 suggests two possible ways to mitigate a chillul Hashem. First, the transgressor can make a conscious effort to cause a public sanctification of Hashem s Name, in order to atone for the desecration of Hashem s Name: the measure of his repentance should correspond to the measure of his transgression. Bringing honor to Torah and publicizing Hashem s greatness can counteract the desecration of Hashem s Name. In addition, he can dedicate himself to intensive Torah study day and night Torah is the cure for all ailments (Shaarei Teshuvah, Shaar Rishon, 47; Shaar Revii 5, 16). Personalized Chillul Hashem We also learn from Chazal that the risk of causing a chillul Hashem escalates depending on who we are and how others perceive us. Rabbi Chiyya bar Abba said in the name of Rabbi Yochanan, any talmid chacham with a stain on his clothing is deserving of death (Shabbos 114a). Understood simply, this means that a talmid chacham should be careful to wear clean, neat clothing, in keeping with the dignity of his Torah (Rashi). In his commentary on this 4 A great thirteenth century Spanish Rishon, famous as the author of Shaarei Teshuvah and other works.

4 4 Gemara, the Meiri 5 writes that the concept extends even further a stain refers also to a deficient middah (character trait). He explains the comparison. A tiny stain which would go unnoticed on a piece of coarse fabric will be very obvious on a fine, expensive garment. So too, a greater degree of refinement is expected of a Torah scholar, and he cannot allow himself even a minor character fault. In the eyes of others, a talmid chacham represents the Torah he learns. Where he is concerned, everything counts. Chazal ask, What is considered a chillul Hashem? Rav said, If someone like me were to buy meat from the butcher and not pay for it promptly. Rav Yochanan said, If someone like me were to walk four cubits without Torah and without tefillin (Yoma 86a), customary at that time for a person of his stature. The Maharsha 6 explains. Rav did not say If someone like me would not pay the butcher at all, it would be a chillul Hashem. He did not even suggest such a possibility he was talking about a situation which would only create the impression that he was not going to pay. Giving the butcher reason to believe he would evade paying was the chillul Hashem. The Maharsha writes that the same is true of Rav Yochanan s comment, If someone like me were to walk four cubits without Torah and without tefillin. Even if his actions were justified, and he had legitimate reason not to be learning or wearing tefillin, the issue at hand was how it would appear to those who saw him that way. If his actions even if they were harmless and entirely legitimate would arouse suspicion of wrongdoing, they would constitute a chillul Hashem. According to the Maharsha, then, the gauge of chillul Hashem is how it is viewed in the eyes of the beholder. The Maharsha also writes that if one does something so outrageous that his friends would be embarrassed to hear of it, it is definitely a chillul Hashem. This is true, he writes, not only of a distinguished person, but even of an ordinary person. We see that the Maharsha takes two factors into consideration in defining a given act as a chillul Hashem. First is the nature of the action: is it a major transgression, or only a minor transgression? The second is the standing of the person who commits the transgression is he an important person or a simple person? If an ordinary person commits what is only a minor infraction, it may not have the additional element of chillul Hashem. However, if a distinguished person is observed committing even a small transgression, his standing turns it into a chillul Hashem. This is an extremely important point, on a very practical level. In the workplace, every observant Jew has the status of a distinguished individual. In the eyes of the world, the size, color and fabric of our kippah, the presence or absence of a beard and its 5 Rav Menachem HaMeiri ( ), a Rishon, was one of the Torah Sages of Provence. He wrote a number of works on Torah topics, including Beis HaBechirah, a commentary on the Talmud. 6 Rav Shmuel Eliezer Aidels ( ), a rav and rosh yeshivah in Poland, was the author of Chidushei Halachos, a major commentary on Gemara, Rashi, and Tosfos, and Chiddushei Aggados on Aggadah, published in the early 1600 s and reprinted in numerous editions of the Gemara.

5 5 length, and our age or educational background, are all irrelevant. Inevitably, an Orthodox Jew will be viewed under a magnifying glass. Intentional and Unintentional Chillul Hashem We are only human, we meant well, we did not think it would be such a big deal, and did not expect it to turn out that way but somehow, we said or did something at work which did not reflect favorably on Jews or Judaism, inadvertently causing a chillul Hashem. How does halachah view unintentional chillul Hashem? Rabbi Yochanan ben Beroka says, one who desecrates Hashem s Name in public, will be punished in public. Unintentional (shogeg) and intentional (meizid) are the same concerning desecration of Hashem s Name (Avos 4:4). Willfully, intentionally causing a chillul Hashem should clearly be much worse than a slipup with unfortunate results, and the punishment should be correspondingly more severe. Why, then, does the mishnah equate the two? In his commentary on Avos, Rabbeinu Yonah writes that the mishnah does not say that the punishment will be equal it says that they will both be punished in public. This is the case because of the element of negligence in the unintentional chillul Hashem. Barring compelling circumstances or coercion (oness), had the transgressor been more careful and more alert to his actions and their ramifications, the chillul Hashem could have been avoided. We see that where chillul Hashem is concerned, we are obligated to be proactive, and avoid behavior which could result in even an unintentional chillul Hashem. Rav Matisyahu HaYitzhari 7 makes a similar point: he writes that the punishment for chillul Hashem depends on individual circumstances. Generally speaking, the punishment for an unintentional sin is not as severe. However, if the transgressor is a talmid chacham, or a Jew in the presence of non-jews, his shogeg has the same weight as a meizid and is punished severely, even if not as harshly as an actual meizid. Because of their particular circumstances, he writes, they should have been extra careful of the honor of Hashem and His Torah. In the eyes of the world it is clear who we are, and what we do matters. I was sorry to see how true this is while waiting on line to renew my driver s license in the Misrad HaRishuy (Department of Motor Vehicles) in Jerusalem. Ironically, as I waited I was learning this very topic kiddush Hashem and chillul Hashem and could only wonder at the following incident. Everyone who entered the office took a number and waited his turn. I had number 224, and the line was up to 218. The waiting area was crowded with many more people. A man whose clothing clearly identified him as a religious Jew walked in with his teenage son. They had number 202, which had long since been called they had stepped out and missed their turn. Taking a new number would mean another very long wait. 7 Rav Matisyahu HaYitzhari, a Spanish Rishon and a student of Rav Chasdai Crescas, was the rav of Saragossa and the author of a number of works of Torah.

6 6 In a room packed with both religious and irreligious Jews, as well as Arabs, all holding their numbers, what should they have done? Taken another number, and waited it out again? Walked up to a window and explained to the clerk that they had missed their turn? Told everyone there that they had an earlier number, and were not just cutting ahead in line? They approached a window where another client was being served, saying they had run out to their car and missed their turn. Someone began shouting, saying they should take a new number and wait. 202 had come and gone an hour ago they obviously had not simply stepped out for a minute. All things considered, had they really made the best choice? Causing a chillul Hashem in front of another Jew is bad enough; a chillul Hashem in front of non-jews can be even worse. Certain actions with theft as an obvious example are Torah-ordained prohibitions. If the victim of the theft is a non-jew, the transgression is compounded by the additional element of chillul Hashem (see Tosefta Baba Kama 10; Semag, Lavin 152; Hagahos Maimonios, Hilchos Gezeilah 1:2). If a Jew lies to or steals from a non-jew, his actions are a chillul Hashem, because they reflect badly on the Torah and the Jewish people as a whole. In the eyes of the non-jewish world, dishonesty portrays the Jews as a people without a Torah and as such, without a moral code, leading them to wonder why G-d would have wanted to choose a nation of thieves and swindlers (Semag, Lavin 2). Stealing from a fellow Jew is clearly forbidden, but stealing from a non-jew casts Judaism as a whole in a negative light (Rabbeinu Bechayye, Vayikra 25:50). Similarly, when dealing with non-jewish employers, we are obligated to exercise great care. We should refrain even from practices which are in fact permitted, if the employer will view them with suspicion (see Meiri, Baba Kama 113b and Baba Metzia 87b). One for All Rav Hershel Schachter 8 writes that one Jew s chillul Hashem unfortunately extends far beyond himself: The Torah commands every Jew to be careful not to cause a chillul Hashem. When an individual Jew acts improperly, he disgraces the entire Jewish people, as well as the Jewish religion. Rav Schachter relates that a Catholic bishop once told the great Rav Yitzchak Elchanan Spektor of Kovno that non-jews take serious offense to an apparently discriminatory statement in the Gemara: Jews are called adam (human beings), but non-jews are not called adam (Yevamos 61a). If the Jews considered non-jews as less than human, was it surprising that the non-jews hated them? Rav Yitzchak Elchanan told the bishop that he was misunderstanding the Gemara. He explained that of the four Hebrew terms for man (ish, enosh, gever, and adam), adam 8 Rav Hershel Schachter is rosh yeshivah and rosh kollel at Rabbi Isaac Elchanan Theological Seminary of Yeshiva University. He is a prominent posek, halachic advisor for the kashrus division of the Orthodox Union, and a prolific author.

7 7 is the only one that does not have a plural form. This, he said, is why Jews alone are called adam in essence, they are a single unit. When one Jew does something wrong, he represents the entire Jewish people. 9 (Rabbi Hershel Schachter, Chillul Hashem ) This can be a positive phenomenon as well. For example, Benjamin Brafman, an Orthodox Jew, is a prize-winning, high-profile criminal defense attorney in Manhattan. Because his cases are often covered by the media, and because he is known to be observant, he is in a unique position: If I win the case, it is important to all Jews. Regardless of whether I win or lose, however, I must act with grace and respect, as my public statements impact on all Jews. He writes, As Jews, our public behavior does affect others not just our family members, but also other Jews we have never met but nevertheless, to whom we have a responsibility. This holds true for all of us, not just those of us who make it into the press. One s personal conduct as a Jew reflects on Jews throughout the world, as we are viewed as one people by non-jews. In a case covered worldwide, Mr. Brafman s celebrity client was acquitted on all counts. Mr. Brafman walked out of the courtroom into a crowd of hundreds of waiting reporters. He realized that this was a tremendous opportunity for international publicity, but was no less aware that it was Friday afternoon, and it was getting late. I looked straight into dozens of cameras and said, This is an amazing victory, and I am, of course, very happy for [my client] and his family. I know that following the Super Bowl, the winning quarterback generally announces that he is now going to Disneyland. Well, ladies and gentlemen, this winning quarterback is going to synagogue Shabbat is coming! I then jumped into a waiting car and sped away. Since that episode, I have been told by hundreds of people that my winning [this particular] case was an important shot in the arm for Jews everywhere, but my leaving a press conference because Shabbat is coming turned a personal professional victory into a genuine kiddush Hashem. Mr. Brafman has found that in his circumstances, even minor incidents can be enormously significant for other Jews. For example, a major New York trial was the subject of a great deal of media coverage on a daily basis. One news article noted that the trial would adjourn at two o clock on Fridays because lead counsel Ben Brafman, an observant Jew, had to be home before sundown. Mr. Brafman was surprised to discover the impact his personal Sabbath observance would have on many fellows Jews: For months following the trial, people I did not even know would stop me on the street to tell me how my public announcement about not working on Shabbat made it much easier for them to explain observance issues to their own employers. To be perfectly candid, it never occurred to me that my keeping Shabbat would help others resolve sensitive issues in their own professional lives. A kiddush Hashem may cost us time, money and effort, but it may mean far more than we imagine. 9 Rav Meir Shapiro sent a similar explanation of this Gemara to Rabbi Yaakov Mazeh of Moscow, to be used as part of his testimony for the defense at the notorious Beilis trial in 1913.

8 8 The Tanna Rabbi Shimon ben Shetach dealt in flax. Seeking to ease his workload, his students purchased a donkey for him from a non-jew. When the donkey was delivered, Rabbi Shimon ben Shetach discovered a very valuable pearl attached to its ear. The proceeds of its sale would have allowed him to give up the flax business altogether. From a halachic standpoint, he was not obligated to return the pearl to the donkey s former owner, but he chose to give it back for one reason: the potential for a kiddush Hashem. The non-jew gratefully accepted the pearl, saying, Blessed is the G-d of the Jews! Rabbi Shimon ben Shetach s exceptional honesty was credited not only to himself, but above all, to the G-d of the Jews. (Jerusalem Talmud, Baba Metzia 2:5) In 2013, the major news networks, including CNN, ABC and CBS, picked up a story about Rabbi Noach Muroff, a contemporary Torah teacher in the United States, which spread like wildfire. Rabbi Muroff had purchased a secondhand desk for $150 through a classified advertisements website. In order to fit the desk through a door in his home he partially dismantled it, and was shocked to find a bag full of cash wedged into the desk a total of $98,000! He called the original owner. She told him that she had hidden an inheritance in the desk, which she had assembled herself, and then forgotten where she had put it. The rabbi, his wife and their four children went to her home the next day to return the money. In a thank you note aired on CNN, she wrote, I do not think there are too many people in this world that would have done what you did by calling me. Rabbi Muroff was subsequently invited to address the ninetyfirst annual convention of Agudath Israel of America. He told the crowd, Ninety-nine percent of Klal Yisrael would have done the same thing. Mi ke amcha Yisrael And this is not my kiddush Hashem, but our kiddush Hashem. Safeguards For many or most of us, the workplace is a secular environment dedicated to secular pursuits, often in the company of non-jews or secular Jews. Even mistakes can have serious repercussions in a non-jewish environment; at work, every Orthodox Jew is a talmid chacham in this sense. Avoiding chillul Hashem and by extension, creating a kiddush Hashem requires constant vigilance. A few safeguards can help us avoid the shogeg that comes close to meizid. It can be all too easy for us to forget who we are and the extra-high standards we should maintain as Torah Jews. One excellent reminder is the daily break for minchah, 10 taking time out to reconnect to Hashem and our fellow Jews on a regular basis. In addition, there are mitzvos which serve as a tangible reminder of our allegiance to Torah even on the job: our yarmulke, tzitzis, and depending on where we work, the mezuzah on our door. The Ibn Ezra s explanation of the mitzvah of tzitzis (Bamidbar 15:39) is especially relevant in the context of the workplace. He writes that in his opinion, the obligation to wear tzitzis throughout the day is even greater than it is for davening. Tzitzis serve as a tangible reminder not to sin. Realistically, the chances that we will sin while praying are minimal; the risk is far greater during the rest of the day, when we are caught up in work, business, and similar activities. 10 See Chapter 9, Where, When and How: Davening with a Minyan.

9 9 The Sefer HaChinuch writes that being surrounded by mitzvos on all sides protects us from sin. We wear tzitzis on all four corners of our garment; have a mezuzah at the doorway, and tefillin on our head and arm. They serve as constant reminders to be consistently honest and strong in the face of temptation (Sefer HaChinuch 421). The same is true of wearing a yarmulke, a constant reminder that Hashem is ever-present. Rav Mayer Twersky 11 makes another excellent, effective suggestion. He advises attaching a note to our computer monitor or telephone at work with a passuk like Shevisi Hashem l negdi tamid ( I put Hashem before me always ) (Tehillim 16:8). We are at work because we need to make a living, but should not allow ourselves to be influenced by the secular environment. The Extra Mile As Jews living in a non-jewish world, we cannot be too careful. As Rav Matisyahu HaYitzhari writes, for a Jew in non-jewish surroundings, even unintentional acts are considered intentional. Our particular position as Jews in the secular or non-jewish workplace requires us to do more and better, both in terms of our actual work and our dealings with others. Not only should we be doing everything possible to avoid chillul Hashem, we should also be investing active effort in making a kiddush Hashem. In consultation with other Jews in the secular workforce, Yosi Heber compiled six rules of thumb for making a kiddush Hashem at work. 1. Bend over backwards to be nice to people. Wherever we work, there will always be chronic complainers and critics and they should not be us! Instead, we should make a point of expressing compliments, thanks and appreciation whenever appropriate. As a boss, we should try to be easygoing. The bottom line, Yosi writes, is if you treat people well, they ll both respect you and like you as a person. 2. Do outstanding quality work. We should try to be even better than good at our jobs. We should know our field inside out, acquire knowledge of specialized areas, be creative, and be generous with help and guidance to anyone who needs them. By giving the job your absolute best, Yosi points out, you ll be highly valued for your contributions to the organization. 3. Be consistent in your religious conduct. Consistency earns respect. If co-workers perceive us as being religious only when convenient for example, leaving early on Fridays then [we re] in trouble. Mark, a successful systems analyst in a large firm, knew that he was on the right track when a peer said to him, If only I were as consistent with my diet as you are with your religion, I would have lost thirty pounds by now. 4. Be frum, but show them that you are a normal person. Keeping within halachic bounds of propriety, we should be professionally friendly. We can 11 Rav Twersky is a rosh yeshivah at Rabbi Isaac Elchanan Theological Seminary of Yeshiva University and a popular lecturer.

10 10 talk about politics and ask after co-workers families. Yosi writes that this type of professional friendliness can be more powerful than conforming to the social friendliness stereotype that people think one needs to succeed, such as going out for drinks after work. We should also take advantage of opportunities to be viewed as normal, making sure once again that we are not overstepping halachic limitations. Dave, a finance director at a well-known New York bank, remembers having been required to go to the company s annual picnic and baseball game. He felt uncomfortable playing in the field, so he grabbed the microphone and announced the proceedings play by play, enthusiastically cheering the hits and catches. To his colleagues, it demonstrated that he was normal. 5. Be someone whom people enjoy being around. Project a positive attitude and a sense of being a happy person. 6. Strengthen your ruchnius level at home. This, Yosi says, is in truth, the core of all kiddush Hashem. The greater nisyonos (challenges) presented by the outside world call for extra care and reinforcement at home. We should always have a rav who is available for questions and consultation, and maintain a regular Torah study session. 12 He recommends Daf Yomi as an excellent consistent, structured program even when traveling the Daf will be the same wherever we go, business trips included. Yosi concludes that we can make it work: It may seem improbable, but I have met many prominent people in the corporate world over the years, who say that by merely following these types of guidelines, they have never really had a negative experience. Even in seemingly difficult situations (e.g., late Friday meetings, business trips abroad, etc.), many comment that they have always felt that they were respected for their religious beliefs, and not thought of as odd because they were so different from everyone else in their respective companies. 12 See Chapter 5, Kavata Ittim LaTorah? Making Time to Learn.