Faithful. Session 9 1 SAMUEL 18:1-5; 20: Godly friendship is built on commitment to God and provides lifelong encouragement.

Transcription

1 Session 9 Faithful Godly friendship is built on commitment to God and provides lifelong encouragement. 1 SAMUEL 18:1-5; 20: :1 After David had finished talking with Saul, Jonathan became one in spirit with David, and he loved him as himself. 2 From that day Saul kept David with him and did not let him return home to his family. 3 And Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as himself. 4 Jonathan took off the robe he was wearing and gave it to David, along with his tunic, and even his sword, his bow and his belt. 5 Whatever mission Saul sent him on, David was so successful that Saul gave him a high rank in the army. This pleased all the troops, and Saul s officers as well. [...] 20:35 In the morning Jonathan went out to the field for his meeting Date of My Bible Study: 91

2 with David. He had a small boy with him, 36 and he said to the boy, Run and find the arrows I shoot. As the boy ran, he shot an arrow beyond him. 37 When the boy came to the place where Jonathan s arrow had fallen, Jonathan called out after him, Isn t the arrow beyond you? 38 Then he shouted, Hurry! Go quickly! Don t stop! The boy picked up the arrow and returned to his master. 39 (The boy knew nothing about all this; only Jonathan and David knew.) 40 Then Jonathan gave his weapons to the boy and said, Go, carry them back to town. 41 After the boy had gone, David got up from the south side of the stone and bowed down before Jonathan three times, with his face to the ground. Then they kissed each other and wept together but David wept the most. 42 Jonathan said to David, Go in peace, for we have sworn friendship with each other in the name of the Lord, saying, The Lord is witness between you and me, and between your descendants and my descendants forever. Then David left, and Jonathan went back to the town. Underline the words and phrases that indicate an investment by either Jonathan or David in their relationship. How were their investments different? FIRST THOUGHTS Humanity is relational by design. It s a part of what it means to be created in God s image. Just as God exists relationally within the Trinity, He created us to exist relationally within community. There s no doubt that some people are more outgoing and personable. From the outside looking in, it seems that relationships just come easy to them. On the other end of the spectrum, many people are shy and reserved. It takes them a while to engage. While there are differences in how we relate, there s no question that we relate. Humanity is hardwired for relationships, community, and friendship. 92 Explore the Bible Personal Study Guide

3 To what level do you agree with this statement: All areas of one s life are impacted by the friends he or she has? In what ways is your life being impacted by your friends? Much of the joy of life is found through our connections with other people. Friendship is a gift from God that enhances every part of life. First Samuel records several stories that reveal the friendship of Jonathan and David. Both men loved each other (1 Sam. 18:1,3; 2 Sam. 1:26). They helped each other, served each other, sacrificed for each other, and respected each other. Jonathan s initial covenant with David was a source of incredible joy for David (1 Sam. 18:3). David s long-term kindness to Mephibosheth (Jonathan s son) shows how deeply he loved Jonathan (2 Sam. 9:1-13). Their story reminds us that good friendships don t just happen. Like anything of value, strong friendships require work, sacrifice, and intentionality. In almost every case, the depth of our friendships is determined by the depth of our investment. Above all, godly friendships are built on a commitment to God. UNDERSTAND THE CONTEXT 1 SAMUEL 18:1 20:42 Every relationship is different. We see two drastically different relationships in 1 Samuel David s relationship with Saul suffered from fear, jealousy, anger, resentment, pride, and insecurity on Saul s side. David loved and respected Saul, but the feelings were not always reciprocated. David s relationship with Jonathan was characterized by love, support, respect, sacrifice, kindness, and encouragement on both sides. The nature of David and Jonathan s relationship provides a great truth. Strong relationships are not one-sided; both parties are mutually invested. To be fair, Saul s relationship with David was not always tumultuous. Saul met David at a very unusual time. According to Scripture, Saul was tormented by an evil spirit from the Lord (16:14). Saul s servants suggested that he find a skillful harp player who could calm his mind. David s name was mentioned. He was brought Session 9 : Faithful 93

4 before Saul and served him (16:17-21). We read in 1 Samuel 16:21 that Saul liked him very much. David found instant favor in Saul s sight (16:23). The relationship strengthened after David defeated Goliath (17:31-58), and David eventually came to live in Saul s house (18:2). The relationship between the two changed when the women of Israel sang a song that Saul (perhaps mistakenly) interpreted as proclaiming David to be a more prolific warrior than Saul (18:7-9). As a result, Saul was very angry; this refrain displeased him greatly. [ ] And from that time on Saul kept a close eye on David (18:8-9). David remained a faithful servant to Saul even after Saul tried to kill him (18:11,25). The relationship changed because of Saul s insecurity, jealousy, and fear over David s popularity. It s important to understand the dynamics of this relationship and the source of tension between David and Saul. That backstory plays a major part in the ongoing friendship between David and Jonathan. EXPLORE THE TEXT TRUE FRIENDS (1 SAM. 18:1-5) VERSES After David had finished talking with Saul, Jonathan became one in spirit with David, and he loved him as himself. 2 From that day Saul kept David with him and did not let him return home to his family. 3 And Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as himself. 4 Jonathan took off the robe he was wearing and gave it to David, along with his tunic, and even his sword, his bow and his belt. After David s victory over Goliath (1 Sam. 17:31-58), Saul requested a meeting with David. We re not sure of what was said during the meeting, but when it was over Jonathan became one in spirit with David, and he loved him as himself. The phrase became one can also be translated knit to or bound to. It literally means knotted or tied together by indissoluble bonds. We re not sure if verse 2 is Saul s way of supporting Jonathan s friendship with David, or if Saul simply wanted to have his best warrior close. Either way, from that day Saul kept David with him and did not let him return home to his family. Once David was living 94 Explore the Bible Personal Study Guide

5 in the palace, Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as himself. This covenant between Jonathan and David was one of many such agreements made over the course of their friendship (20:16-17; 23:18). As a way of symbolizing the depth of his friendship and the seriousness of this covenant, Jonathan gave his robe (a symbol of the Israelite kingdom; see 15:27-28) to David. The act was both symbolic and powerful. By giving David the robe, along with his tunic, and even his sword, his bow and his belt, Jonathan symbolically transferred his status (as heir to the throne) to David. This act showed how true friendship is selfless, sacrificial, and supportive. David s life and future changed on that day. He went from being a relatively unknown shepherd with a normal life to becoming a well-known warrior in the public eye. On that day, he killed a giant (17:49), acquired two of the finest swords in the Philistine and Israeli armies (17:51; 18:4), became a permanent houseguest of the king (18:2), entered a covenant with the prince (18:3), and received princely clothes reserved for the heir to the throne (18:4). On that day, David also entered a friendship that enhanced and changed his life. True friends are revealed over time. Saul made many of the same gestures as Jonathan. They both loved David (16:21; 18:1). They both offered David their clothes of war (17:38-39; 18:4). They both initiated a relationship with David (16:19; 18:3). However, Saul was threatened by David s ability and popularity (18:8-9), while Jonathan supported David in every way. VERSE 5 5 Whatever mission Saul sent him on, David was so successful that Saul gave him a high rank in the army. This pleased all the troops, and Saul s officers as well. Whatever mission Saul sent him on, David was successful. The word successful refers to success that comes to those who act prudently and wisely. This is the same word used for Joshua (Josh. 1:7). From a theological perspective, verse 5 is important because it reminds us of God s promise in Deuteronomy 29:9: Those who keep the covenant of Sinai will prosper in all that they do. David s success also coincides with the claim that he was under the control and direction of the Spirit (1 Sam. 16:13). Session 9 : Faithful 95

6 David s success as a warrior and as a military leader was the reason Saul put him in command of the soldiers. Saul s decision pleased all the troops and the officers of Saul. Even after David became Israel s king, God blessed him with an ongoing ability to please his people (2 Sam. 3:36). The sudden and great level of responsibility given to David is almost too much to comprehend. To go from leading sheep to leading an army in such a short period of time is truly incredible. It s because of David s success and his ever-increasing responsibility that biblical scholars have drawn correlations between David s life and Joseph s story. As with David, the Spirit of God was with Joseph, and he was very successful in everything he did (Gen. 41:38-40). As with David, Joseph s success led to increasing levels of responsibility. Success has a way of revealing true friends. Saul was threatened by David s success and watched him jealously (1 Sam. 18:9). Jonathan was excited for David s success and entered a deeper relationship with him. Success has a way of revealing the character of those who are successful and the character of those who claim to be their friends. How can success change a friendship? Even if the gesture is never reciprocated, how can a person encourage friends in their successes? BIBLE SKILL: Compare passages related to a similar theme. Read Philippians 2:19-24, looking for ways Paul related to his colleagues. How do the relationships Paul had with the people identified compare to David s relationship with Jonathan? What principles about friendship can be drawn from the comparison? 96 Explore the Bible Personal Study Guide

7 TESTED FRIENDS (1 SAM. 20:35-40) VERSES In the morning Jonathan went out to the field for his meeting with David. He had a small boy with him, 36 and he said to the boy, Run and find the arrows I shoot. As the boy ran, he shot an arrow beyond him. 37 When the boy came to the place where Jonathan s arrow had fallen, Jonathan called out after him, Isn t the arrow beyond you? 38 Then he shouted, Hurry! Go quickly! Don t stop! The boy picked up the arrow and returned to his master. 39 (The boy knew nothing about all this; only Jonathan and David knew.) 40 Then Jonathan gave his weapons to the boy and said, Go, carry them back to town. A lot happened between 1 Samuel 18:5 and 20:35. Saul was furious when some women from Israel sang a song that he interpreted as depicting David as a better warrior (18:7-9). His anger led to ongoing suspicion of David (18:9). An evil spirit from God came forcefully on Saul, and Saul tried to pin David to the wall with a spear twice (18:10-11). Saul feared David because the Lord was with David but had departed from Saul (18:12). He was afraid of him because David was successful (18:15). This led to David s demotion (18:13) and Saul s multiple plans to kill David. Saul s plans to kill David continued to backfire. He told David to bring 100 Philistine foreskins as a dowry for his daughter Michal (18:25). He thought the Philistines would kill David. Instead, David killed 200 Philistines (doubling the dowry). He became more popular than ever (18:27,30). Saul ordered Jonathan and his servants to kill David (19:1), but they refused and informed David of Saul s intent. When another evil spirit came on Saul, he personally tried to kill David (19:9-10). Once again, David escaped. Saul s continual attempts to take David s life actually solidified the relationship between David and Jonathan. Knowing that Saul was trying to kill him, David and Jonathan devised a plan to help David escape. Instead of joining Saul for dinner, David hid in a field. When Saul asked about David, Jonathan said that David went to Bethlehem to offer his yearly sacrifice with his family (20:6). Session 9 : Faithful 97

8 Saul was angry with Jonathan for letting David go to Bethlehem (20:30). Part of Saul s anger was jealousy and hurt pride over David. Another part of his anger was the perceived threat that David s existence would be to Jonathan and his kingship (20:31). When Jonathan stood up for David, Saul hurled his spear at him to kill him, and Jonathan knew his father wanted to kill David (20:33). The following morning, in what seemed like archery practice, Jonathan went out to the field for his meeting with David. To retrieve the arrows he was shooting, he took a small boy with him. As the boy was running to pick up the arrows, Jonathan shot an arrow past him. When the boy came to the location of the arrow, Jonathan gave the code phrase that David would recognize: Isn t the arrow beyond you? Hurry! The boy was unaware that David was hiding in the field. However, David knew the arrangement. When the boy retrieved the arrows, Jonathan sent him back to town with all his equipment. David and Jonathan s friendship was tested at the deepest of levels. What kinds of tests make a friendship stronger? Would you view the smaller tests as more or less significant than a dramatic test? TIMELESS FRIENDS (1 SAM. 20:41-42) VERSES After the boy had gone, David got up from the south side of the stone and bowed down before Jonathan three times, with his face to the ground. Then they kissed each other and wept together but David wept the most. 42 Jonathan said to David, Go in peace, for we have sworn friendship with each other in the name of the Lord, saying, The Lord is witness between you and me, and between your descendants and my descendants forever. Then David left, and Jonathan went back to the town. In the solitude of an empty field, David and Jonathan met face-to-face. Initially, David spoke no words but bowed down before Jonathan three times, with his face to the ground. David s gesture of bowing three times in this single encounter is more than anyone else recorded in Scripture. David and Jonathan kissed each other (a common sign 98 Explore the Bible Personal Study Guide

9 of greeting in that culture) and wept together. The text points out that David wept the most. This statement is understandable when considering that Jonathan risked his own life to save David s life. Jonathan broke the silence by saying, Go in peace, for we have sworn friendship with each other in the name of the Lord. They both understood the gravity of the moment and the fact that they would never again enjoy an easy, informal friendship. The phrase go in peace was an expression of goodwill used for extended or permanent separations (Ex. 4:18; 2 Kings 5:19). It was also used when a superior spoke to an inferior (1 Sam. 1:17; 25:35). However, by using the words we and you and me, Jonathan reminded David of their mutual friendship. Jonathan s parting words reveal a friendship based on a commitment to God. They had sworn in the name of the Lord, and this gesture was an act that ancient Israelites would not take lightly (Ex. 20:7; Lev. 19:12). This covenant extended beyond Jonathan and David and included their descendants forever. Apart from one other brief meeting (1 Sam. 23:16-18), this scene depicts the last time they would see each other. David and Jonathan would remain inseparably joined by the oath they swore in the Lord s name. We can be thankful that, ultimately, Jesus showed us what true friendship is when He called His disciples friends for whom He laid down His life. The possibility of friendship with Jesus is the result of His initiative and His costly sacrifice. On our part, obedience to Jesus defines what it means to be His friend (see John 15:13-16). List elements required to make a timeless friendship. How many of these elements are seen in the relationship between Jonathan and David? Can these elements be fostered within a relationship, or do they just happen? KEY DOCTRINE: Christian Community Christian unity in the New Testament sense is spiritual harmony and voluntary cooperation for common ends by various groups of Christ s people. Session 9 : Faithful 99

10 IN MY CONTEXT Godly friendship is not self-centered; it seeks the best for others. True friendship is based on mutual trust and faithfulness. We can be thankful that Christ promises never to leave or forsake us, being a Friend for eternity. Identify the friends with whom you have stuck through good and bad times. What are you doing to put their needs ahead of your own? What changes do you need to make in how you relate to them? List the things you believe to be the greatest threats to true friendship. What actions are you taking to guard your friendships against those threats? Discuss with the group the role they can have in helping you guard godly friendships. Reflect on the promise that Jesus will never leave or forsake His followers. Record your thoughts about that idea. Take time to thank Him for being a faithful Friend even when you are not. MEMORY VERSE And Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as himself. 1 Samuel 18:3 100 Explore the Bible Personal Study Guide