FRIENDSHIP GIVING THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT: WHAT S IT ALL ABOUT? NY NCSY SPRING REGIONAL THE LEARNING IS BEING SPONSORED IN THE MEMORY OF

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1 NY NCSY SPRING REGIONAL FRIENDSHIP GIVING THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT: WHAT S IT ALL ABOUT? THE LEARNING IS BEING SPONSORED IN THE MEMORY OF Freida Raizel Bas R' Yaakov Frieda Makovsky Englard 1

2 BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT I INTRODUCTION Consider the following true story: Brian is a pleasant fellow who has been your neighbor for nearly twelve years. One day, as you are drinking your morning coffee, you hear someone outside yelling hysterically, GET OUT QUICKLY! As you peer outside, you are shocked to see that it is Brian who is screaming. Apparently, he s shouting at his own young children, who are seated in his car. YOU NEED TO GET OUT OF THE CAR NOW! The children are dazed and scared. Shocked, you observe how Brian pulls his now-crying children from their car seats, deposits them on the sidewalk, and bellows to his wife, TAKE THEM INSIDE- I M OUTTA HERE! Leaving the confused, sobbing children on the curb, he jumps into the car and speeds off. Imagine that you really observed this. What would you think of Brian? What could possibly justify his outrageous behavior! Just then, your eye catches sight of red flashing lights on the roof of Brian s disappearing car. Within minutes, the street is filled with emergency vehicles barreling towards a disaster. Later, you learn that Brian recently became a paramedic. He was on his way to a five alarm fire on the other side of town. You re told that his haste saved the lives of three small children. Adjust a few facts in the story and change a name or two. You might just find that this incident describes an experience of your own. What are we supposed to think when confronted with situations like the one above? Is there a right way to react? Does the Torah tell us anything about how we should respond? II SOURCES ( 1 )ספר ויקרא פרק יט )טו( לא ת ע ש ו ע ו ל ב מ ש פ ט לא ת ש א פ נ י ד ל ו לא ת ה ד ר פ נ י ג ד ול ב צ ד ק ת ש פ ט ע מ ית ך: Do not commit a distortion of justice; do not favor the poor nor honor the powerful, with fairness you must judge your fellow man. Leviticus19:15. (2) תלמוד בבלי מסכת שבועות דף ל/א תנו רבנן בצדק תשפוט עמיתך שלא יהא אחד יושב ואחד עומד אחד מדבר כל צרכו ואחד אומר לו קצר דבריך Our Rabbis taught: With fairness, judge your fellow man - one party should not stand [in court] while the other sits; one party shall not be entitled to speak all he wants while the other is told to curtail his words. Talmud Bavli, Shavuos 30a. (3) תלמוד בבלי מסכת שבועות דף ל/א ד"א בצדק תשפוט עמיתך הוי דן את חבירך לכף זכות Another interpretation: With fairness, judge your fellow man one should judge his friend favorably. Talmud Bavli, Shavuos 30a. We have seen two very different interpretations of this verse: (1) Guidelines for judicial fairness (2) Judging favorably on a personal level Sounds great, right? interpretations But when you think about it, there are a couple of problems with these 2

3 First of all, according to the first explanation, the verse mandates absolute fairness and justice in the courtroom. The last interpretation teaches that we should judge people favorably and give the benefit of the doubt. Is benefit of the doubt consistent with justice? Giving people the benefit of the doubt may be nice, but it would never pass in a courtroom! How can the very sentence that teaches justice also instruct us to judge favorably seemingly without justification? Can the opinions be reconciled? Furthermore, what does judging favorably actually mean? Are we to simply ignore our common sense? Is the Torah telling us that we should be naïve, and assume that everyone is good? III. CHARACTER COUNTS To answer our questions, and to arrive at the underlying theme of this commandment, let s examine some of the Torah s guidelines for the concept of giving the benefit of the doubt. )4( רמב"ם פירוש המשניות - מסכת אבות פרק א משנה ו והוי דן את כל האדם לכף זכות. ענינו כשיהיה אדם שלא תדע בו אם צדיק הוא אם רשע ותראהו שיעשה מעשה או יאמר דבר שאם תפרשהו על דרך אחת יהיה טוב ואם תפרשהו על דרך אחרת יהיה רע, קח אותו על הטוב ולא תחשוב בו רע... וכשיהיה בלתי ידוע והמעשה בלתי מכריע לאחד משני הקצוות צריך בדרך החסידות שתדין לכף זכות איזה קצת שיהיה משני הקצוות: Judge every person favorably. When you come across a person whom you do not know to be righteous or wicked, and you see him perform an action or say something that can be interpreted as positive or negative, assume the positive and do not think negatively of him. And when you do not know the person and there is no decisive interpretation of the action, it is praiseworthy to judge toward the favorable extreme. Rambam, Commentary on Avos 1:6 NOTE: Defining a Tzadik or Rasha Q In the sources that follow we will discuss the terms Tzadik, righteous person, and Rasha, wicked person, which sound like extreme categories. How do we go about defining these terms? A For purposes of our discussion we are not using the classic definition. Instead when we say that someone is righteous or wicked we are referring to specific behaviors. A person who excels in a particular area is a Tzadik, righteous, with respect to that area. On the other hand, a person who is negligent in a particular area is considered a Rasha, wicked, with respect to that area. Interestingly, one can be a Tzadik in one area and Rasha in another. For example, a person may be a Tzadik with regard to honoring to his parents, but the same person may be considered a Rasha in monetary matters. )5( רמב"ם פירוש המשניות - מסכת אבות פרק א משנה ו אבל אם יהיה האדם נודע שהוא צדיק מפורסם ובפעולות הטובות ונראה לו פועל שכל עניניו מורים שהוא פועל רע ואין אדם יכול להכריעו לטוב אלא בדוחק גדול ואפשר רחוק הוא ראוי שתקח אותו שהוא טוב אחר שיש שום צד אפשרות להיותו טוב ואין מותר לך לחשדו, ועל זה אמרו ]שבת צז[ כל החושד בכשרים לוקה בגופו. But, if a person is publicly known to be righteous, and is known for good deeds, and he does something that appears in all respects to be a negative action that can only be interpreted as a positive act with great difficulty by making an unlikely assumption, it is appropriate to assume that the act was a positive one. Since such an interpretation is technically possible, it is forbidden to suspect him. And, as the Talmud says, one who suspects a righteous person will be punished. Rambam, Commentary on Avos 1:6 )6( רמב"ם פירוש המשניות - מסכת אבות פרק א משנה ו וכן כשיהיה רשע ויתפרסמו מעשיו ואחר כן ראינוהו שיעשה מעשה שכל ראיותיו מורות שהוא טוב ויש בו צד אפשרות רחוק לרע ראוי להשמר ממנו ושלא תאמן בו שהוא טוב אחר שיש בו אפשרות לרע And similarly, when the person is wicked, and his wicked deeds are publicly known, and we observe him doing something that appears in all respects to be a positive action, and which can only be interpreted as a 3

4 negative action with great difficulty by making an unlikely assumption, it is appropriate to be wary of him, and not to believe that the action is positive, since there is the possibility that it is negative. Rambam, ibid. Why Does Background Matter? If it is proper to judge people favorably, what difference does the person s background make? Why should the identity of the protagonist matter? To address this issue, let s examine a story that transpired almost 2,000 years ago. This story serves as a graphic example, illustrating just how far the requirement to judge others favorably extends. )7( שאילתות דרב אחאי פרשת שמות שאילתא מ ד"ה שאילתא דאסיר ומעשה ברבי עקיבא בן יוסף שהיה מושכר אצל רבי אליעזר בן הורקנוס ועשה עמו שלש שנים כשבא ליפטר ממנו בערב יום הכפורים אמר לו תן לי מעותיי ואלך ואפרנס את אשתי ואת בניי אמר לו אין לי מעות שאתן לך והיה רואה מעות בידו תן לי בהמה אמר לו אין לי בהמה שאתן לך והיה רואה בהמה בתוך ביתו תן לי תבואה בשכרי אמר לו אין לי תבואה שאתן לך והיה רואה תבואה בתוך ביתו אמר לו תן לי כרים וכסתות בשכרי אמר לו אין לי כרים וכסתות שאתן לך והיה רואה כרים וכסתות בתוך ביתו תן לי קרקע בשכרי אמר לו אין לי קרקע שאתן לך והיה רואה לו קרקע מה עשה רבי עקיבא הפשיל כליו לאחוריו והלך לביתו בפחי נפש Rabbi Akiva worked for Rabbi Eliezer ben Hurkenos for three years. On the eve of Yom Kippur, Rabbi Akiva was preparing to leave and bring his wages home to his wife and children. Rabbi Akiva asked Rabbi Eliezer for payment of his wages. Rabbi Eliezer replied that he had no money to give, although Rabbi Akiva saw that he had money. Pay me in livestock, suggested Rabbi Akiva. I have no livestock to give you, replied Rabbi Eliezer, although Rabbi Akiva saw that he had livestock. Pay me in grain, suggested Rabbi Akiva. I have no grain to pay you, replied Rabbi Eliezer, although Rabbi Akiva saw that he had grain. Pay me in pillows and blankets, suggested Rabbi Akiva. I have no pillows and blankets to pay you, replied Rabbi Eliezer, although Rabbi Akiva saw that he had pillows and blankets. Pay me in land, suggested Rabbi Akiva. I have no land to pay you, replied Rabbi Eliezer, although Rabbi Akiva saw he had land. Dejected, Rabbi Akiva slung his meager possessions over his shoulder, and returned home. Sheiltos of Rabbi Achai, Exodus, No. 40. )8( שאילתות דרב אחאי פרשת שמות שאילתא מ ד"ה שאילתא דאסיר מה עשה רבי אליעזר בן הורקנוס המתין עד שיצא חג הסוכות ונטל משואות שלשה חמורים אחד של יין ואחד של שמן ואחד של כל מיני מגדים ומעות בידו והלך לביתו של רבי עקיבא והניח לפניו ואכלו ושתו והוציא המעות ונתן לו What did Rabbi Eliezer ben Hurkenos do? A few weeks later, after Sukkos, he traveled to visit Rabbi Akiva, with three donkeys - one carrying wine, one oil, and one food and delicacies. He also came with money in hand. Rabbi Eliezer placed the food in front of Rabbi Akiva, and they feasted. Rabbi Eliezer then took out the money and paid Rabbi Akiva. Sheiltos, ibid. )9( שאילתות דרב אחאי פרשת שמות שאילתא מ ד"ה שאילתא דאסיר אמר לו בני חייך כשאמרת לי תן לי מעותיי ואמרתי לך אין לי מעות שאתן לך והיית רואה מעות בידי במה חשדתני אמר לו אמרתי שמא שדות וכרמים נזדמנו לו בזול וביקש ליקח מהם כשאמרת לי תן לי בהמה בשכרי ואמרתי לך אין לי בהמה שאתן לך והיית רואה בהמה בתוך ביתי במה חשדתני אמר לו אמרתי שמא מושכרות הם ביד אחרים כשאמרת לי תן לי תבואה בשכרי ואמרתי לך אין לי תבואה שאתן לך והיית רואה תבואה בתוך ביתי במה חשדתני אמר לו אמרתי שמא רוב פירותיו אינן מעושרין כשאמרת לי תן לי כרי' וכסתו' בשכרי ואמרתי לך אין לי והיית רואה כרים וכסתות בתוך ביתי והיית רואה לי קרקע במה חשדתני אמר לו אמרתי שמא הקדיש רבי כל נכסיו לשמים Did you suspect me when I refused to pay you in money, even though you saw that I had money? Rabbi Eliezer asked Rabbi Akiva. Rabbi Akiva replied, I assumed that you had found a bargain real estate investment, for which you had earmarked the money. Did you suspect me when I refused to pay you in livestock, even though you saw that I had livestock? came the next question. Rabbi Akiva replied, I assumed that you had leased your livestock to others. 4

5 Did you suspect me when I refused to pay you in grain, even though you saw that I had grain? Rabbi Eliezer asked. Rabbi Akiva replied, I assumed that most of your grain had not been yet been tithed (and therefore could not be used to pay me). Did you suspect me when I refused to pay you in pillows and blankets and land, when you saw that I had them? was the next question. Rabbi Akiva replied, I assumed that you had pledged all of your assets to the Temple. (Since they were consecrated, Rabbi Eliezer could not use them.) Sheiltos, ibid. )10( שאילתות דרב אחאי פרשת שמות שאילתא מ ד"ה שאילתא דאסיר אמר לו העבודה כך היה הורקנוס בני לא היה עוסק בתורה והקדשתי כל נכסיי לשמים כדי שיעסוק בתורה עד שבאתי אצל חכמים והתירו את נדרי... That is exactly what happened! explained Rabbi Eliezer. My son, Hurkenos, was not studying Torah, and to set him straight, I consecrated my property to the Temple [gifting away the inheritance that would have been his]. I later went to the Sages, and they annulled my commitment, [so now that everything has returned to my possession, I can pay you]. Sheiltos, ibid. Pushing the Limits of Reason? Is Rabbi Akiva s behavior meant to serve as a practical example for us to follow? Are we always supposed to come up with some creative explanation for others misdeeds, no matter how far-fetched? Is this really what the Torah expects us to do?! Doesn t it seem ridiculous! A Study of Reasoning Q When required to judge favorably, how far must one go? Are we supposed to check our intellect in at the door and fabricate absurd scenarios? How do we explain Rabbi Akiva s creative excuses for Rabbi Eliezer s bizarre refusal to pay him? A The key to answering these questions lies in the story itself. Let s take a closer look at the details: Rabbi Eliezer ben Hurkenos was extremely wealthy, and Rabbi Akiva was at the time, as evident from the story, poor a manual laborer working to support his family. Rabbi Eliezer was also a well-known and respected Torah scholar. The day in question was the day before Yom Kippur, a day that G-d fearing Jews are all on their best behavior the final day before one s last chance to merit life for the coming year! Taking all these factors into consideration, what makes more sense and is more reasonable? It makes more sense to come up with a scenario, however unlikely, to explain Rabbi Eliezer s behavior, rather than to believe that the saintly Rabbi Eliezer mistreated the impoverished Rabbi Akiva on the eve of the holiest day of the Jewish calendar! When we have a better understanding of who Rabbi Eliezer was, we know that simply oppressing the poor and refusing to pay his debts is very out of character. If we can agree to that, then we know that no matter how farfetched, there must be an explanation for what he did. When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth. -Sherlock Homes Revealing the Common Thread With this understanding, the underlying concept of judging others favorably becomes clear. All the explanations of the Torah injunction (courtroom regulations and judging favorably) are actually different expressions of the very same concept. There is a commandment to judge fairly. This applies, not only in the courtroom, but on the street, as well. It applies to a judge with a gavel, and it applies to you and me. We are not to be fools; we are expected to be perceptive and insightful! Each individual is enjoined to act as a judge. We are supposed to get to the bottom of the story by 5

6 rationally sorting through the facts, and coming to an accurate understanding of what is really going on. This is why the identity of the individual in question matters. Obviously, the nature of the person involved sheds light on what is most likely to have happened in any given situation. With this understanding in mind, we now comprehend the common thread between the seemingly disparate interpretations of the original Torah verse. The Hebrew B Tzedek is usually translated as with righteousness which is the source of the misconception that giving the benefit of doubt means being naïve and innocent when evaluating peoples actions. A more precise definition is with justice or with fairness. The Torah is telling us to be logical and fair. IV - PUTTING IT INTO PRACTICE Avoid Jumping to Conclusions We live in a world dominated by impulsive reactions. Within minutes of any major event, the experts begin to explain and speculate. Although in many if not most instances, the facts will prove them wrong, we have a societal need for immediate interpretation. As a result, we re sometimes programmed to look at things superficially. The commandment of B tzedek Tishpot, the charge to judge fairly, tells us to step back and ask ourselves whether we have considered all the possibilities. When we read the Gemara, did we really consider who Rabbi Eliezer and Rabbi Akiva were? Did we focus on the fact that the event occurred on the day before Yom Kippur? When we see the parent yelling at the child, do we even consider possible mitigating circumstances? Doesn t it make sense to assume that most parents love their children and don t act abusively? One of the messages of judging favorably, as seen from the story of Rabbi Eliezer and Rabbi Akiva, is that in evaluating facts affecting others, we must avoid jumping to conclusions. V - JUDGING REASONABLY Interpreting What People Do Sometimes, we misjudge the people closest to us. It is important to realize that family members, business associates, and friends are the people who care about us the most. They are generally not out to get us. We tend to give ourselves plenty of leeway. What if, at a moment of pure honesty, we made a list of everything we know we do wrong and just changed the name at the top to our friend s name. Would we really want anything to do with that friend? Yet we don t disown ourselves. We assume the best, and that, despite all of our faults, we are still decent people. Shouldn t we do the same for others? The commandment of B tzedek Tishpot teaches us that we should. Consider the following: You walk into the house and your parents yell at you. You re confused and hurt. On one hand, the outburst bothers you and you can t figure out why he or she is so upset. On the other hand, you ve come home to the person to whom you are the closest, who loves you and cares for you. Is it reasonable to conclude that your parents have suddenly turned on you? Or is it more likely that they had a difficult day, and are just venting frustration, and did not mean to hurt your feelings. Don t Abandon Reason The Torah doesn t ask us to abandon reason. Often, the more unlikely explanation is the most reasonable one. We just need to stop and think what that more reasonable explanation really is. Using the principles of B Tzedek Tishpot, our lives, relationships, and daily interactions will become more positive and successful. And, by making ourselves better people, we will make our world a better place. 6

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