The Divine Design for the Home

Transcription

1 The Divine Design for the Home Last week we learned about the clothes and controls of spiritual maturity. The clothes referring to how we are to dress ourselves as Christians by putting on our new clothes with the characteristics of tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering, forgiveness and love. The controls referring to what we need to control our minds and our actions and these were the Peace of God, the Word of Christ and doing everything unto Him. I mentioned last week how scary that last control actually is, because everything we do is actually unto God whether good or bad as we call ourselves Christians and the world has its eyes fixed on us looking to find fault. We need to remember this and it should be a control for our behaviour. Today we are moving on to see what God has to say about the home and family life. Colossians 3:18-21 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. 19 Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them. 20 Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing to the Lord. 21 Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged. As with all things He created, God has a divine design for the home. In this passage we find principles for wives, husbands, children and parents. The marriage relationship can be compared to a bird. If both wings do not function as they should, the bird cannot fly. Likewise, if both husband and wife do not function as the bible commands a marriage cannot operate as God intended leaving couples bitter, angry and frustrated and can end in the tragedy of divorce. Unfortunately, we can t talk about both wings at the same time so let s start with The Divine design for wives 3:18 Gods design for wives in Colossians 3:18 is, submit to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. This simply means to respect your husband and come under his leadership. Let him be the leader. Page 1 Gods Divine Design for the Home 28/08/16

2 Some have incorrectly accused the Bible of being sexist and presenting women as second class citizens or inferior to men. This simply isn t true! Nothing has elevated the place of women in society as Jesus attitude toward women and the inspired writings of the Apostles. Before the New Testament was written, women were considered inferior beings, and to men submission meant A wife was his possession, just like his house or his cattle. She had no rights at all, she could not even join men for a meal. Complete chastity was demanded of her, while her husband could have as many sexual relationships as he liked. Under Roman law a husband could divorce his wife for something as trivial as burning his breakfast toast. It was as simple as saying I divorce you three times before two witnesses. He could then legally throw his wife out on the street, leaving her penniless. But for Christians, this was all changed by the inspired writings of Paul. He says in Ephesians 5:25, Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loves the church and gave Himself for her. Pauls writings were a bombshell in his day because both husband and wife are addressed equally as having responsibilities to each other, not just the wife to the husband. So the position of woman was immensely elevated, from slave like conditions to being of equal value in God s sight. Two things should be noted about this command. o First wives are to be submissive to their own husbands, not someone else s husband. o Second the submission is as is fitting in the Lord. The phrase in the Lord shows a wife s submission is not in the worlds order of things but in the Christian order, it means to come under his leadership, his headship. o The submission is not because of who the husband is, but who God is. It is not a matter of superiority or of inferiority but of equals following the God s divine design. It also comes out of your love for the Lord. Wives, Submission o Does not mean you left your brain at the altar on your wedding day, and that you have no right to speak and now do whatever your told to. Page 2 Gods Divine Design for the Home 28/08/16

3 o It is not absolute. If your husband asks you to do something that goes against your conscience or violates the teachings of Scripture, you have the right and also the duty to obey God rather than man. Husbands Submission is not o a synonym for door mat or slave. o Your wife is not to be there at your every beckoned call o You do not order your wife around like you re the king Submission is part of a two-way street of God s Divine Design for marriage. The appeal to be a submissive wife is made to free, equal people and can only be obeyed voluntarily. The context of this appeal to be a submissive wife is prompted by her husband s unselfish love. It is the wife s decision to make, not the husbands. The wife s submission to her own husband is never to be forced upon her by a demanding husband, and this verse was never meant to be quoted to the wife by her husband. To sum up the responsibilities of a wife to her husband Paul writes in Ephesians 5:33, a wife must respect her husband. So the word that best sums up how a wife should treat her husband is respect. 1 Peter 3:1-7 3 Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear. 3 Do not let your adornment be merely outward arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel 4 rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God. 5 For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands, 6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror. 7 Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honour to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered. The divine design for husbands Next Paul says in Colossians 3:19 Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them. Page 3 Gods Divine Design for the Home 28/08/16

4 This command must have caused a riot because it is so different to the way men treated their wives in the first century. The love Paul is talking about here is not affectionate or romantic love even though these things are necessary in a marriage. He is talking about AGAPE love. It is love that would cause you to die for your wife, it is the love talked about in John 3:16. It is also present tense, meaning keep on loving your wives. It must be done daily, not just her birthday, Mother s Day and Christmas, and not when you re feeling in the mood. This is not a suggestion or an option but a command from God 1 Corinthians 13:4 give us a beautiful description of AGAPE love. It tells us not only how we are to love one another as brothers and sisters in Christ but also, husbands, how we are to love our wives. Here you will find the characteristics of a man that loves his wife with AGAPE love He is patient, He is kind, He will not be envious- meaning he is satisfied in his wife and does not seek another relationship. He will not parade himself- he does not seek praise for the things he has done-does not look for acceptance from others, only from Christ. (Well I did this for you) He will not be puffed up- full of himself-arrogant, he should be more concerned with giving himself rather than asserting himself. He does not behave rudely. A husband reveals his love for his wife through good manners and politeness. Love does not seek its own. Love always seeks what it can do for others Matthew 20:28 Just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many. Love is not provoked; This means to be driven to wrathful anger caused by an offense. (kids provoke each other to get a reaction) Love thinks no evil; Love keeps no record of wrongs. These are characteristics of a man walking with Christ and seeking to love his wife like Christ loves the church. Your love for your wife comes out of your love for Christ and is strengthened by your walk with Him. Page 4 Gods Divine Design for the Home 28/08/16

5 Philippians 2:3-4 Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interest, but also for the interest of others. Luke 9:23 follow me The Divine Design for children Colossians 3:20 Children obey your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing to the Lord. Children should be taught to respect authority and obey their parents in all things, not just the things they choose. The child who does not learn to obey his or her parents in all things is more likely to grow up being rebellious to all authority. He or she will be more likely defy teachers, employers, police officers, and even God. Many parents are so permissive that their children are not much more than little tyrants, with whom the parents continually compromise just to keep the peace. Children who grow up without being taught to respect authority, beginning with parental authority, will face many dangers and challenges in life. You know the bible actually says that if you don t discipline your children, you hate them. Proverbs 13:24 he who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him promptly. How s that for a rebuke!! A rod was a short club much like a baseball bat. It was used by shepherds to beat attackers that would harm the sheep It was also used to tap straying sheep back into the fold to keep them from danger. David used it as a symbol of Gods loving discipline saying, your rod and your staff they comfort me (Psalm 23:4) The Bible does not talk about bashing your kids and abusing them. You should never spank your kids out of frustration, anger or embarrassment. It should be done when you have control of your emotions. Page 5 Gods Divine Design for the Home 28/08/16

6 Spanking in times of anger also teaches children by example to respond violently when upset. It is the God given duty and responsibility of the parent to teach their children respect and obedience. If parents submit to each other and to the Lord, they can exercise proper authority over their children. Hebrews 12:5-6 My son, do not despise the chastening of the Lord, Nor be discouraged when you are rebuked by Him; 6 For whom the Lord loves He chastens, And scourges every son whom He receives. The Divine Design for parents. Colossians 3:21 Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged. Fathers is translated parents. The word provoke refers to anger that comes from parents being overbearing or too strict Nagging Continual fault finding Excessive rules Unreasonable exercises of authority All these things will exasperate anyone especially children and they will become discouraged. This will show up in resentment and rebellion because of a feeling of injustice and not being able to please their parents. Instead of provoking our children, Paul says in Ephesians 6:4 bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord. Training means educate or instruct them, teach them. Admonition refers to advice, encouragement and reproof. Since children are a heritage from the Lord they should be raised for Him. The best way you can train your children is to lead by example. The most simplistic way that people learn is through their eyes. The Bible contains the divine design for the home and it works. It teaches men and women are equal, but it does give specific guidelines for each to carry out in marriage. These have nothing to do with superiority or inferiority. The Christian home is to be a place of respect and affirmation. Though the Bible Page 6 Gods Divine Design for the Home 28/08/16

7 teaches the husband is to be the spiritual leader in the home, it also teaches mutual submission. It teaches parents how to raise their children. To have a happy, healthy home, we must follow God s Divine Design. Page 7 Gods Divine Design for the Home 28/08/16

8 Colossians 3:18-21 Ephesians 5:25 1 Peter 3:1-7 Colossians 3:19 Matthew 20:28 Philippians 2:3-4 Colossians 3:20 Proverbs 13:24 Hebrews 12:5-6 Colossians 3:21 Colossians 3:21 Page 8 Gods Divine Design for the Home 28/08/16