-1- Sermon (6/14/15, 1 Samuel 15: 34-16: 13): It was a big day at the church. It was early in my ministry at that church and, as tends to happen,

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1 -1- Sermon (6/14/15, 1 Samuel 15: 34-16: 13): It was a big day at the church. It was early in my ministry at that church and, as tends to happen, there were those who had waited for the new Pastor to arrive for the baptism of their child. I was still getting to know people and, admittedly, the family whose children we would soon be baptizing were still quite new to me. None the less, the day was shaping up to be a good one and I was excited. There is so much to celebrate when a church is blessed to welcome a new member by way of this precious sacrament! After the service was over, we gathered around the font for picturesyou know lots and lots and lots of pictures. With the Pastor, with the parents, kids alone, with the grand-parents, with the great grand-parents, next to the font, in back of the font, without the font. Well, as often happens during these long routines of clicking cameras, the kids became bored and fussy. One decided to reorganize the communion table, another tried to yank my stole off, another just laid down on the floor and cried. I asked the one who was crying if I could join her. She cocked her head and looked at me as if I was weird or something. (Can you imagine?) At one point, I noticed that one of the candelabras decided to do an imitation of the Leaning Tower of Pisa. The only difference being that the candelabra wasn t stopping mid tilt. I lunged and caught it in mid-air. It was a beautiful save, a definite 9.5 on the scoring scale. It was the candelabra thing that sent Mom over the edge, not that I blame her. Not sure I could have done any better. What she said, however, distressed me. Grabbing her daughter by the arm, she reprimanded her with these words: God is going to get you. You made God very angry and God is going to punish you. Terror filled the child s eyes. I get, all too well, what a parent s frustration feels like and how it can push one over the edge and how it can cause one to say things they later regret. Parenting is tough stuff but those words really stung. Those words definitely left a mark. Those words, said in a sanctuary, would not be easily forgotten by that young, impressionable mind. It s not the kind of

2 -2- message we hope our children will hear at a baptismal font. Unfortunately, it s an image of God that is all too common - a mean spirited disciplinarian from on high; a merciless judge ready to pounce; a totalitarian despot who maintains control by way of fear and punishment; a cold hearted deity whose relationship with us is always kept at arm s length Last Sunday, we talked about the Hebrew people s demand for a King and, after fair warning of the inevitable negative consequences of having a King, God relented and instructed Samuel to find them what they wanted. By the end of the story, Saul had been anointed King. In a mighty leap from that anointing to today s story, we now find Samuel grieving the monumental failure of Saul s reign. Suffice it to say that Saul has been a huge flop as Israel s first King. A failure so magnificent that God has determined it s time to bring Saul s reign to an end, even though Saul and Israel are, as of yet, unaware of it. A new King will be found and Samuel is charged with the responsibility to find that King. Given the resistance both Samuel and God exhibited over the people s demand for a King, it is quite striking to note their reaction to Saul s failure. If anything, we might assume they would be anxious to say, Hey, I told you so! First, however, there s Samuel s grief clear, visible, deep. We aren t told what the cause of his grief is, but we can well imagine it probably includes many things. Despair over the harm that Saul has done and the manner in which Saul rejected God s lead, for one. It also seems that, at least initially, Samuel grew to like Saul. How hard it must have been for him to watch Saul crash and burn. I also wonder if part of Samuel s grief was caused by his own sense of failure and consequent self-doubt. Had he failed his people by not convincing them in the first place that a King was a bad idea? Could he have done something to prevent Saul s monumental failure? Had he let Saul down, the Hebrew people down, himself down, God down? I do not find it a stretch to imagine the self- beating that Samuel must have been undergoing.

3 -3- Self- doubt can be a relentless enemy - always sneaking up on us, always inflicting nasty wounds, always chipping away at our sense of worth, always defeating us with its consequent despair. Self-doubt can cause us to envy the other who seems to effortlessly move through life with a coveted sense of sure footedness. I wonder, however, how true such appearances really are. Perhaps beneath even the most stalwart soul, beats the heart of a Samuel grieving the blemishes of failure that are all too apparent in the merciless mirror of self-scrutiny. Here s the real kicker to today s story, though, even God seems to share this Samuel moment of deep regret and self-doubt! Listen to what the text says, And the Lord was sorry he had made Saul king over Israel. The implications of this single line are huge. Is God admitting he made a mistake? Can God make a mistake? Is this God whom we worship as vulnerable to self-doubt and regret as we are? Is it possible that God could be as tormented as we sometimes are by our failures and regrets? Wow! It s almost too much to absorb. Clearly the portrait this text paints of God is far, far different than the Got you! God our minds tend to conjure up. It seems that God s divine nature is somehow so entwined with our lives that, when things fall apart, even God hurts, even God regrets, even God wrestles with God s own sense of letting us down. One of the highlights of the Preaching Conference I attended in May was the opportunity to meet Carrie Newcomer, a very gifted musician who gave a concert one evening. I was really looking forward to that concert hoping that I might even get a chance to meet her and thank her for her music and songs which I have long admired. After the concert, I did get that opportunity. It did not go as well as I imagined, though, at least according to the video that keeps replaying in my head. I was so excited that I m sure I came across as something like a star struck, tongue tied teenage boy mumbling Humma, humma, humma, humma as I held out my CD for her to sign. Thankfully she was good at interpreting what Humma, humma, humma meant and she signed it. I can t tell you the number of times I ve reviewed that moment in my head and each time it makes me cringe! What an idiot I was! is the

4 -4- conclusion I ve consistently come to. You see that s what Samuels and people like me do. Samuels and I get stuck. Thankfully, however, God meets us in our brokenness and regrets and God gives us a little push. It s something Samuel needed and it s certainly something I constantly need because it s just so darn easy to get stuck. Not a day goes by without something rolling around in my head making me doubt how good I am at being a Pastor, a disciple, a friend, a father, a husband, a son, and a child of God. The evidence piles up, the video replays itself in my head, the mirror reminds me of my blemishes and, before I know it, I m stuck Yes, God was sorry. God regretted the mistake he had made in picking Saul. God might have even wished he could do it all over again but instead of giving up, instead of getting stuck, God risked vulnerability all over again. To be sure, the next King might not work out so well either, but nothing is gained by giving up. God gave Samuel a little shove and soon they were off again to risk again. So important are we to God, so precious are Samuel and the Hebrew people to God that God doesn t give up. God will choose another King and this time God will try something different in that choosing even with all its inherent risks. It s what love does it keeps trying. And if God thinks we re worth another try; if God is willing to risk failure again in an effort make things right; if God is willing to take another chance on us, including the ultimate risk of the cross, shouldn t we be willing to do the same with ourselves? Shouldn t we, at the very least, be willing to give God the benefit of our many doubts by risking the belief that maybe there really is something about us that s worth the risk of trying again? How long will you grieve Samuel? God asks. How long will you grieve? God asks each of us. Can t you see that I haven t given up on you?! Perhaps, that s the real message of this baptismal font. You are sealed by the Holy Spirit and marked as Christ s own forever! That is not

5 -5- the language of a Got you! God. That is the language of a God who never gives up on us, who forever risks trying again and again no matter how monumental our sense of failure and self-doubt might be. And if God is willing to do that for us, shouldn t we? So Samuel did what God commanded. He got up, went to Bethlehem, and he tried again. To God alone be all the glory. Amen.

6 -6- Congregational Prayers and Lord s Prayer: Leader: The Lord be with you. People: And also with you. Leader: Let us pray Holy and Loving God, we meet you this day in the places where we are stuck. We meet you in our rooms of grief as we relentlessly ponder our inability to measure up to the ideals we have built our hopes on. We teeter on the edge of giving up, throwing in the towel, relegating ourselves to the places where worthless things are tossed. In your love and mercy, O God, we beg you to meet us in these places. Do what it takes to push us into life again. Make us risk takers as you are with us. Even if it is only slight, open to us the real possibility that we are worth the effort of trying again. We ask all of this well aware that there is so much that rides on your and our determination to not give up as is made most evident in the power of the cross. We recognize, O God, that even in this room there are those of us who need a push. We are not doing so well today. We have slipped into that deep place of despair where it s not so easy to climb out. Even now, O God, even in this place let the winds of your Spirit blow, pushing us back in the game again with a willingness to try again. We also ask of you this day to be near to those who are ill, defeated, scared, grieving, in pain, and feeling lost. We especially lift up to you these prayers that we now name either in our silence or aloud We ask this in Jesus name who taught us to pray All: Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name, thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, forever. Amen.