Account of the Soul Michael Knapstad

Transcription

1 Menlo Church 950 Santa Cruz Avenue, Menlo Park, CA Series: It Is Well December 31, 2017 Psalm 139:23-24 Account of the Soul Michael Knapstad [Video] Female: God, grant me the serenity Male: to accept the things I cannot change Female: the courage to change the things I can Male: and the wisdom to know the difference. [End of video] Well, I want to welcome everyone from every campus and online. My name is Michael Knapstad, and I'm the young adults' pastor for the Menlo Park Campus of Menlo Church. It's so great to be with you today. Today is New Year's Eve, and on New Year's Eve, we typically tend to make resolutions that will impact our next year. These resolutions often involve disciplines where we either do something less, do something more, or start something new so that next year could be different from last year, better than last year. On New Year's Eve, we typically look forward, but today we're not going to do that. Today we are actually going to look back. In the early nineteenth century, a rabbi by the name of Leffin introduced a practice called Cheshbon HaNefesh, which means an account of the soul. For centuries now, Jews have used this time not to make a resolution for what to change in the next year but to pause and to look back at the last year, to look at the different choices they have made, fears they've had, offenses they've caused, and to take an account of their soul as a result. At the end of each year, every business will take an account of the past year. They'll look back at their financial records, because you can only take into the next year what you've invested in the past. But there's something that matters more outside of profit margins to portfolio rebalances. The thing that matters the most, the only thing you will take into eternity, is your soul

2 Many people have never taken an account of their soul, but it's the most important audit you could do. Taking an account of your soul simply means to do a motivation and behavior inventory, to ask yourself, "Why do I do the things I do, and are the things I do making my soul experience wholeness? Do they make others experience wholeness?" Wholeness is a translation of the Hebrew word found in the Bible called shalom. Wholeness is the culmination of peace, completeness, things as they ought to be. When I take an account of my soul, I ask myself questions like, "How do I spend my time, my money? How do I treat my body and why?" It requires me to look at my devotion to worship, commitment to fellowship. Do I try to love others well, or do I spend most of my time on the Internet watching things I shouldn't watch? Do I drift on autopilot? Thousands of years ago, there was a king named David whose kingdom was filled with God's chosen people. As a king, not only did he feel the pressure to provide, perform, protect, the pressure to invest, to grow, and to multiply the riches of his kingdom so he and his kingdom could be something great, but also he felt the pressure and responsibility that his kingdom wasn't his own. It was God's, and he was God's. David, knowing so much was entrusted to him, so much was given to him to invest, did an audit. He paused, and he went before God and laid before God his soul. He asked God to help him take an account of it because he knew the condition of his kingdom would reflect the condition of his soul. In Psalm 139, David said, "Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting." David wanted his soul to be whole. Like David, we are entrusted with more than just our lives. The actions that flow out of the condition of our soul greatly impact others and how we relate to God. The reality is others and God are the only other things outside of ourselves that will be in eternity. Your soul has the ability to influence eternity. Because of that, the most important account we could ever take is an account of our soul. So for the rest of today, following David's example, we're going to model Psalm 139 and take an account of our soul by doing an inventory of our heart, our fears, and our offenses. The first inventory is 1. A heart inventory. Dallas Willard once said, "Accordingly, the greatest need you and I have the greatest need of collective humanity is renovation of our heart. That spiritual place within us from which outlook, choices, and actions come has been formed by a world away from God. Now it must be transformed." I remember a time when I was younger at church. I'm the second oldest of four kids. Growing up, we had one single motivation for going to kids' ministry: candy. When all the kids were asked to memorize Scripture or to participate in a Bible-learning activity, we would mentally check out and wait until the end of program, because that's when the free candy was passed out. Well, we soon gained a certain reputation around the other kids who weren't there just for candy. We felt like they started to judge us a little. Some would whisper and point to us. Some would roll their eyes. It was like preschool all over again. Now at the same time that this was starting to get to us, the kids' ministry rolled out a new strategy around candy that, moving forward, for each Bible verse you memorized or Bible-learning activity you participated in, you got what they called a "Jericho dollar." I kid you not. At the end of the ministry program each Sunday, you could go to the Jericho store and buy candy with the Jericho dollars you earned, which meant no more free candy

3 My siblings and I thought this was a personal attack. Being the stubborn and competitive family we are, we came up with a plan that would both bring revenge on the kids who we thought judged us and, at the same time, get as much candy as we could. In order to execute this plan, we had one main strategy: to become experts of the Bible. We would spend hours and hours and hours memorizing the Bible. When a volunteer was needed to participate in the Bible-learning activity, my siblings and I would rush to the front of the room and give the best performance possible. We also became radical evangelists. Soon we had all of our cousins going to kids' ministry with us, all of us memorizing, all of us participating until we were able to execute our plan. You see, we knew we would have a greater capital if we pooled our money and invested together. After a few months, I collected all the money we'd profited. Right when the Jericho store opened, I got up and ran, cutting in front of every kid in line. I pulled out of my pocket and slapped the biggest wad of Jericho dollars anyone had ever seen before, anyone had ever dreamed of before, on the counter. I slowly looked back at all the kids in the line, gave them a little grin. Then I turned my head to the volunteer who was running the store and said, "I'll take it all." That day the Knapstad kids ate candy like kings. We flexed our fiscally fit muscles and outsmarted them all. But after the candy was gone, we started to realize any friendship we could have had with other kids was probably gone too. We didn't just take all the candy from the store; we took it from them. That was not a loving thing to do. Even though we had memorized all that Scripture, we were beginning to learn there's a difference between memorizing Scripture and knowing Scripture. You see, we learned a lot about the importance of loving others, but that knowledge didn't make it from our heads to our hearts. That was reflected in the why behind the choices we made. Proverbs says, "As water reflects the face, so one's life reflects the heart." Often we can make choices that look good but have bad motives. We learned a lot about money at church, but the reason we collected, invested, and shared our stock was to lift us up and put others down. At the end of the day, what that money bought us went away (it had an expiration date) but not the kids. Jesus once said, "A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart." Every single choice we make will impact us, will impact others, will impact how we relate to God. The choices we make are an overflow of the condition of our heart. You see, there is nothing more powerful in this world than the heart, because the primary influencer of our choices is our heart. If you want to do an inventory of your heart, then look at the why behind your choices. Look at the impact of your choices. Then ask yourself, "What am I investing my heart in, or in whom am I investing my heart?" Because God wants nothing more than for your heart to invest in him, because he has already given his heart for yours. 2. A fear inventory. When we invest our hearts in God, we'll realize God, who is greater than anything we could fear, has invested his life for us. When you invest your life in something, you're going to ultimately protect it. That's why in the sermon a few weeks back, John said one of the most repeated phrases in the Bible is, "Fear not." - 3 -

4 Isaiah says, "Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand." Not only has God invested in us, but also he is present with us. When we forget God is with us, we become liable to fear. Before King David's time, his people, the Israelites, were rescued from the clutches of slavery in Egypt. Awhile after they were free, a few spies were sent to see the land God promised to give them. When they reported back that though the land was fruitful, flowing with milk and honey, the people in it were of great size. They forgot God was with them, and fear crept in like a disease. They soon forgot all God had done in their lives and all God was able to do. But two men named Joshua and Caleb stood up. They remembered. They trusted God was with them, even though everyone else forgot. Well, much later, Joshua rose as the leader of the Israelites, and the time had come for him to lead them into the land God had promised them, even though he was facing opposition much larger than he was, opposition that could have ended him. But Joshua had already taken an inventory of his fears. He knew God, who is bigger than his fears, was with him. Florence Nightingale said, "How very little can be done under the spirit of fear." When the reality of the complexities and hardships Joshua faced were shouting at him, God spoke even louder to him by saying, "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go." You see, fear imprisons; God liberates. Fear paralyzes; God empowers. Fear disheartens; God encourages. Fear sickens; God heals. Fear makes useless; God makes able. The more we are with God, the more we are without fear. Psalm 27 says, "The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear?" When we experience light shining in the darkness, we'll often notice the shadows. There was a pastor who was also a father who was driving home with his two girls from his wife's funeral. On the drive, he was trying to search for the words to explain that their mother wasn't gone forever, that like them and everyone, their mother was created for eternity. Their mother was with Jesus. Just then, a large truck drove by them, and the shadow of the truck darkened the inside of the car. When the truck left, the father began to speak. He asked his children, "Would you rather be hit by this truck or by the shadow of this truck?" Confused by this question, the girls answered, "By the shadow of the truck, of course, because a shadow can't hurt you!" Then the dad said, "When we walk through the valley of the shadow of death, Jesus took on death in our place so all we'll ever taste is the shadow." King David knew what it was like for God to be with him. That's why he wrote, "Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me." If you were to take an inventory of your fears, what would you come up with? What are the shadows that are gripping your heart with fear? What are your anxious thoughts? How could acknowledging that God is with you, the Light of the World, help cast out the darkness of your fears? Now the greatest part about doing this inventory, taking this audit, is you don't have to remain in fear, because God loves you. Your tax accountant may not love you, your IRS auditor may not love you, your banker may not love you, but God loves you. Perfect love casts out fear. Now the last inventory is - 4 -

5 3. An offensive way inventory. When I was younger, my two brothers and I loved to play a game called king of the hill. Now the point of this game is to identify something as the hill, and to try to be the person who stands on top of the hill the longest. You accomplish this by pushing and shoving everyone else aside, by clawing your way to the top, and then when you're on the top, to defend it by throwing everyone else down. My mother hated this game. Our family doctor hated this game. The local furniture store loved this game because it kept them in business. One of my brothers would point to a couch and yell, "I'm the king of the hill!" Then we'd all run to the couch. We'd throw elbows, throw knees, throw each other, and fight to be the king of the hill, the king of all brothers. Well, one day in a field behind our house, we noticed the biggest dirt hill we had ever seen in our lives. I mean, to an 8-year-old, this dirt hill looked like the size of the Buckingham Palace. I remember being the first one to point to the hill and shout, "I am the king of the hill!" I took off running, and being the first to make it to the top because I'm very competitive, I remember firmly planting my feet on the top of the dirt hill, placing my hands on my hips, and surveying my dirt hill kingdom. Everything I saw was mine. I ruled it until my younger brother pushed me from behind, and I went tumbling down. We played for hours and hours and hours until our bodies and clothes were just saturated with dirt. When we finally left our dirt hill kingdom, we walked with pride all the way to our house. Each of us got the opportunity to be the king of the biggest kingdom we'd ever imagined. But when we tried to walk into our house, our mom stopped us, like any wise mom would. She looked at our dirty bodies, looked at the dirt hill behind us, and then looked to the ground. She shook her head and slowly walked to the garden hose. As she was baptizing us with the water from the garden hose, in our enthusiasm, we kept telling her about our dirt hill kingdom, how it was the biggest dirt hill with the richest soil we had ever ruled. I'll never forget the words that came out of her mouth. She said, "Oh my dear boys, that wasn't a dirt hill kingdom you were ruling over but a fertilizer kingdom. You were literally fighting over manure." Playing king of the hill is the single most offensive way in the Bay Area. In this class, in this job, in my finances, I want to be the king of the hill. When I pause to take an account of my soul and do an inventory of all my offensive ways, I'll typically find the main motivator behind them all is to be the king of the hill. When I find myself climbing and clawing my way up, I'll often end up pushing people down, whether I know it or not. When I reach the top of whatever hill I'm climbing, I'll usually find I'm alone, and I'm dirty. My ways were offensive. Here's the thing. God took an audit of all our offensive ways. He took an audit of all we have done and all we'll ever do. Then he went up a hill to a cross on Calvary. Jesus of Nazareth, the king of the Jews, was the king of the hill, and he wants to be the king of yours. The amazing truth is Jesus is the one person who has ever had a clean audit in his life, and he gave his life for you. He took his life for you so you can be washed clean of all of the dirt, of all of the sin, of all the offensive ways and the muck that being king of the hill leaves on us. Now I know I said we're going to look back and not forward, but we look back so tomorrow could look different, so tomorrow could look better. It turns out that if you only get on a scale once a year, if you only look at your financial records once a year, things can get away from you. But if you take an account - 5 -

6 on a regular basis, you'll have more of a handle on things, and movement toward flourishing or wholeness becomes more reachable. The same is true for your soul too. Now this could be as easy as spending a couple of minutes each night doing an inventory, a review of the day (or in the morning if you're a morning person). Some people have referred to this as the Prayer of Examen (a spiritual practice dating back to hundreds of years) to take an inventory of your behaviors and motivations, to look at your heart, your fears, and your offensive ways, to pray and to find community to walk alongside you as you journey toward wholeness. This is something I find helpful. If you think of it, you can too. God wants nothing more than for our souls to experience wholeness in him, for our relationships to be healthy, for our lives to be renewed, and to know the hardships we faced this past year and the ones that lie ahead will not have the last word, because one day God, the king of the hill, will bring heaven down. He'll wipe the tears from our eyes, and our souls will forever be made whole