A 21-Day Bible Study

Transcription

1 A 21-Day Bible Study

2 21 DAYS TO BECOMING A PROVERBS 31 WOMAN DANIELLEAMONGLIONS.COM Most Christians have heard of Proverbs 31. Those treasured scriptures are like a goldmine for the godly woman. They are very thorough in their instruction and poetic in their structure. Millions have been inspired, encouraged, and motivated by them. A Proverbs 31 woman is truly a beautiful sight to behold, both inside and out. Below I have divvied up the passage into a 21-day study. Every few days there will be reflection questions to help you apply the content to your life. I hope this study speaks to you and encourages you on your journey to becoming a Proverbs 31 woman! Notes: 1. All scriptures quoted here are from the ESV translation 2. This is intended for personal use. You may print copies to give to your friends and co-workers or even to use in a small group setting, 3. Please do not eliminate any items that denote the source, Danielle Among Lions. 4. Please do not use this to make money in any way without written consent from Danielle Among Lions. 5. If you have any questions, comments, or concerns, please don t hesitate to contact Danielle Among Lions via website:

3 Day 1 An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. -Proverbs 31:10 Indeed, the introductory verse does use the term wife, but this passage should be examined by all women. For those who are not yet wives, now is the time to prepare. Wouldn t you much rather be an excellent wife early in the marriage as opposed to years later? There may be aspects that cannot apply to your current situation. Take advantage of those you can relate to and store the others in your heart for when your time comes. Something else to take note of: this passage was written by a mother to her son, a king. It was intended to be an example of the qualities he should look for in a suitable wife. All women do not need to be exactly like this woman. Not many of us hold spindles anymore, and there can only be so many husbands who are elders. If we were all to be exactly like this one passage, there would be no individuality. It is important to analyze this passage using context clues and looking beyond the literal. More Precious Than Jewels Jewels and precious metals have, throughout history, been assigned some of the highest values. To say that anything is ranked above them demonstrates the rarity and immeasurable worth attributed to such a thing. The Book of Proverbs continuously references the importance of being/having a good wife: An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones. -Proverbs 12:4 He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord. -Proverbs 18:22 House and wealth are inherited from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the Lord. -Proverbs 19:14 It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife. -Proverbs 21:9 These are just a few verses as an example to you. There are plenty more, and not just in Proverbs. I feel that this first verse really sets the stage for the rest of the passage. The author portrays the importance of striving to be an excellent wife. Noting that they are hard to find also warns us that to be an excellent wife is no easy task. The term excellent implies that it is a cut above the rest. In other words, it s difficult but worth it. Tomorrow we will look at exactly what it takes!

4 Day 2 The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life. -Proverbs 31:11-12 These verses are vague; they cover such a broad category. In a nutshell, I believe that this speaks of having a heart of servitude towards your husband. Believe me, it pays to constantly be thinking of ways to serve and please your husband. I could write a whole post on that! When you do, he will be confident that in all your actions you will only be doing what is best for him. He knows that your choices are only for his betterment. Whether it s as a man, as a husband, for his status or reputation, he trusts your heart. Why is this important? The relationship between a husband and wife is meant to mimic that of Christ and the Church. Consider how we, as the Body of Christ are meant to serve Him. Everything we do should be done for His Glory (1 Corinthians 10:31). Therefore, as wives we need to have the same attitude towards our husbands. Everything we do should be done so we can improve (or at least maintain) his current status, reputation, financial standing, emotional state, etc. Our husbands will highly appreciate this, and as a result will shower us with love. Most of us women desire nothing more than to feel loved. When we do, we are more inclined to give of ourselves to that person. Henceforth begins the beautiful cycle outlined in Ephesians 5:33. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. Note that the end of this verse uses the word respects instead of love. Husbands need to feel respected as the head of household, and as a man in general. As wives, it is our duty to be the biggest influencer in this area. How we speak about, around, and to our husbands can make or break their social status. For a more in depth look at respecting our husbands, see my previous post 5 Ways Wives Disrespect Their Husbands. As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God s varied grace. -1 Peter 4:10 Ladies, remember that we are by no means perfect. Training your heart and mind to serving your husband may not come as naturally to you as it does to others. It will take time and prayer. Lean on God, ask both him and your husband for grace and forgiveness, and keep plugging away. You will get there!

5 Day 3 She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands. She is like the ships of the merchant; she brings her food from afar. -Proverbs 31:13-14 The previous verses had referred to a wife s character, these next two verses speak more about her daily tasks. I want to draw your attention to the word seeks. The Hebrew word used here means to seek with care, to investigate. She doesn t just go to Walmart and buy some random items, she seeks out what she wants. This implies quality is important to her. She will go the extra mile to ensure her family has the finer things. When it says she works with willing hands it s referring to how she makes her items from scratch. She uses the flax and wool to create garments and linens. It is likely a less expensive option than buying things already made (even then you had to pay for convenience). She is readily choosing to put in the extra time, effort, and energy it takes to cut unnecessary costs. The statement she brings her food from afar tells us she is not afraid to put in a little extra effort to get the better items. For me, that would be equivalent to driving the extra 40 minutes to a veggie stand (we live in a city with no room to grow our own) as opposed to the chemically altered waxy produce from the chain department stores nearby. Reflection Questions We have now taken a close look at the first five verses from the famous Proverbs 31 passage. Below are a few questions to help you reflect on how these verses can apply to your life today. 1. What are some ways you show your husband respect? Are there any ways you show him disrespect (for ideas click here)? What are some things you could do to improve in this area? 2. Do you think your husband trusts your heart and is confident in your actions and choices? If not, what is something you can do to change that? 3. Do you spend a lot of unnecessary money on convenience? Are there some things you could DIY or make from scratch to save your family money? 4. Do you know any excellent wives? What are 3-5 characteristics about them that stand out to you?

6 Day 4 She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and portions for her maidens. For some, this is particularly difficult to implement. Fortunately, I have always been a morning person. I have always been most productive and motivated right when I wake up. I usually get up with my husband s alarm and by the time he comes home from PT an hour and a half later, I have dressed, made the bed, had my morning tea and devotions, started the coffeepot and am waiting on the rumble of his motorcycle to begin frying the eggs. Weekends are no different (except instead of PT he tries to sleep in). However, I realize that is not the case for all women. Why is this important? I may not be a parent, but I can still attest that the morning can set the tone for the entire day. An excellent wife rises early to ensure that her household has a good morning and is able to start the day off right. Keep in mind, rising early may be different for every household. For mine, I can get up at 6. For a friend of mine, she and her boys wake up at 3 (those are some dedicated boys!) to have family devotions before she goes to work at 4. In the time when this was written, daylight was pretty much the universal morning time. By rising during the night, she is waking up before everyone else to prepare for the day. If no one in your household rises before 10, then you can sleep until 9 if you want to! Many others who have analyzed this passage also use this verse to point out that she had maids. She did not do all the housework and childrearing and business on her own. This does not mean you are required to hire a maid. Not all of us can afford it, and not everyone needs it. I have no children, no pets, and no other job besides taking care of our little apartment. If we hired a maid, I d be bored stiff! I interpret this part of the verse as saying she a) is not afraid to ask for help when she needs it and b) she treats those who help her well. Masters, treat your slaves justly and fairly, knowing that you also have a Master in heaven. -Colossians 4:1 This does not have to be extravagant. While my husband was deployed last fall we purchased a chest freezer for my birthday and I asked a couple of his military friends (who weren t deployed) to help me bring it back to the house. They did not ask for anything, but I made them each a dish of taco casserole anyways. Trust me, if men are helping ALWAYS GIVE THEM FOOD. Rare is the man who turns down food, especially among the single military crowd.

7 Day 5 She considers a field and buys it; with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard. -Proverbs 31:16 A few weeks ago, my husband and I decided we would start looking for a new car. I had told him my top three choices. He hates the car-buying process and was anxious to get it over with. Within 15 minutes he has pulled up a local used car dealer and shows me all the cars that fit my description, asking me which one I wanted. I was floored! Growing up, my dad would take months to decide on a car, and then weeks to finally purchase it. I am similar, I will hold out for the perfect car that s exactly like what s in my head. Now, before you go thinking my husband is a crazy impulse spender, you should know we had just come off a disagreement, poor guy had a bad day in general, and he was quite frustrated. The point of telling you that story, though, was to illustrate two opposite ends of the spectrum referred to in this verse: shopping. My husband looked at what was available, without much thought to what we wanted out of it. I have the idealistic model in my head and am waiting for the real version to come along. Both mindsets could use some work. By compromising and settling in the middle, we come to the Proverbs 31 woman. I took the liberty to look up the word considers in the original Hebrew version. A couple of the definitions that stood out to me were to plan and imagine. What this verse is telling us is she looks at what is available (like my husband) and uses that as a foundation to plan and imagine how it could work for her. She does not daydream about the perfect field while she s folding the laundry, nor does she buy a field just because it s there. She considers the field, mulls over all aspects of the purchase. Only then does she decide to purchase it. Once she buys it, she puts her own time, energy, and labor into it to make it a success. The passage does not mention whether this vineyard was for personal or commercial use, but does it really matter? If you re researching the best supplies to start a personal vegetable garden or trying to open your own business, the same concept applies. You will need to put in work to make them grow. Having the seeds means nothing if you don t plant them, just as leasing store space means nothing if there are no products to sell. One last thing to mention about this verse: she was investing in her family s future. She purchased the field and planted the vineyard in the hopes of future benefits. Again, whether for money or personal use it is unclear. What is clear, though, is that she expected that vineyard to benefit the family in some way. She did not go after one of the many get-rich-quick schemes that rarely ever work. She took a calculated risk and used her own two hands to give it the greatest chance of success she could. A faithful man will abound with blessings, but whoever hastens to be rich will not go unpunished. -Proverbs 28:20

8 Day 6 She dresses herself with strength, and makes her arms strong. -Proverbs 31:17 It is obvious from reading this verse that there is no physical outfit for strength. I find it interesting, though, that they should relate it to clothing and how one is dressed. Fashion is important for many women. I felt there was some reason for stating it this way rather than just stating that she is strong. Take a second and think about the process of getting dressed. I know a lot of us will say we simply threw something on but indulge me. We probably have more than one outfit combination for various occasions. We must choose which of those we desire based on three main categories: appearance, comfort, and function. Even when we are throwing something on, it likely still matches, hence our awareness of appearance. Many women s go-to is a favorite pair of leggings or a loose-fitting dress (there s the comfort part!). Beyond that, we consider what activities the day involves. If sports are involved, a dress is not likely. If you re headed out for an afternoon of ice skating, shorts and tank top won t be your first choice. Why is this important? The reason I dive into the metacognition behind getting dressed is to drive home the point that an excellent wife chooses strength for all those categories. Strength is beautiful, functional, and after you wear it a while it s comfortable. I also want to point out that strength is not part of her birthday suit. She makes the choice daily to be strong. It does not come naturally to her all the time. Where does her strength come from? The Lord of course! She relies on his help daily to intentionally clothe herself in strength. The Lord is my strength and my shield; in him my heart trusts, and I am helped; my heart exults, and with my song I give thanks to him. -Psalm 28:7 On Day 4 I talked about not being afraid to ask for help. While that was in the context of hiring a maid, it applies even more so to God. Asking God for help is a sign of humility. You are laying aside your pride and telling Him you are not as strong and mighty as He. Ladies, we are not expected to be Wonder Woman (no matter how hard we wish we could). We are expected to rely on God and let him be our strength. By surrendering ourselves to Him, we allow the Holy Spirit to do God s work in us and through us. Don t try to do it all on your own. It may be harsh, but you just can t. You weren t meant to.

9 Day 7 She perceives that her merchandise is profitable. Her lamp does not go out at night. -Proverbs 31:18 Alright ladies, I have a lot to say about this one! First, I want to address the fact that many who have studied this passage previously use this verse to argue that women must work or have some method of bringing in substantial income. Personally, I don t agree with this (although I have nothing against you if you do). What is considered profitable? A few years ago I studied this verse in an effort to determine whether or not I should work once I became a military wife. I found many commentaries and interpretations, but the one that stuck with me the most was Matthew Henry s take on it. There is no mistaking it, the Hebrew word for merchandise does not have some hidden meaning that can change the entire verse (darn!). However, one of the meanings of the Hebrew word for profitable said profit from trading. This seemed to be what Matthew Henry capitalized. You can read his full commentary online for free (I use Blue Letter Bible), but I will briefly sum it up. When Henry talked about her merchandise turning a profit, he implied that it was not always money. In those ancient times, currency was used but trading was also quite common. His perception was, essentially, that she did distribute goods she had made in order to obtain some benefit for her family. In these modern times, Walmart might not take your Pinterest DIY projects in exchange for your weekly groceries. However, I had mentioned a few days ago that my husband s friends who helped me bring home a large heavy appliance each received a fresh baked casserole from me. Did I give something I made to another? Yes. Was it in exchange for something that benefited me and my household? Yes. To me, that is profitable merchandise. Now, this is not to be confused with donating to charities or making a pie for a friend just because. I make extra food all the time for my husband s coworkers. I may not have a tangible return, but I consider it part of my ministry. I have made such a habit of showing the extra kindness with food that other units have heard of my reputation with my husband s team. Why do I do it? I suppose, for the sake of today s topic, I could say the profit is bringing non-christians to our home where we do our best to show them Christ. In general, though, I think what this verse is trying to say is that she doesn t invest all her time, energy, and resources in an endeavor that has no return of any kind. It is not wise to pour everything you have into a black hole. Two Kinds of Lamps The second portion of the verse is almost always associated with the first part. Understandably, it is interpreted to mean that her merchandise is profitable enough to keep the family comfortable. They are able to burn oil through the night as a type of nightlight, and oil was not cheap then. Again, I believe the point of this verse was to say you shouldn t waste everything you have on something that will never produce returns.

10 Another interpretation (the second kind of lamp) is not associated with the profitable merchandise at all. In all the other verses, each separate piece is separated by a comma or a semi colon. This indicates they are part of the same thought. This verse is the only verse that is two separate sentences. I m not sure if the punctuation of this sentence is as important as I m making it out to be, but either way my research led me to an interesting find. Again, I reference the Matthew Henry commentary for this verse. He explained that the men who had outdoor manual labor jobs were finished with their work when the sun went down. The women, however, had housework that was indoors as well as any tasks they had outdoors. Therefore, the lamp burning at night signified that an excellent wife did not necessarily stop working when the sun went down like the men did. Instead, she would continue working by lamplight to finish her tasks. Consider how this would look like today. Those who work do not rest when they clock out. Once they walk in the door, they continue working to do housework and take care of the kids (if any). If you are like me and do not work, I am still unable to complete everything during the day. Not for lack of time, simply because there are still messes made in the evening (dinner dishes and usually laundry). In short, a women s work is never done. Reflection Questions 1. Could you sacrifice an extra 15 minutes of sleep to wake up earlier and prepare for the day? 2. What help do you have? Consider how you treat and interact with them. Could this area improve? 3. Consider your shopping habits. Are you an impulse buyer or and idealistic waiter? Do you spend a lot of money on things that do not benefit your household? 4. How often do you try to do things on your own instead of relying on God s strength? 5. How often do you trade items you have created by skill? This could be in return for someone s assistance or for money. If the answer is no, are there things you can trade with? Remember, this is meant to somehow profit or benefit your household.

11 Day 8 She puts her hand to the distaff, and her hands hold the spindle. -Proverbs 31:19 I m not going to lie, I had to research what a distaff is before I started writing this page. The distaff holds the bundles of flax or wool so it doesn t get tangled. From there, the fibers are spun and twisted into yarn, which is kept on the spindle. If you ask me, it is a lot of work just to make some yarn! Speaking of work, this verse highlights just how much work she is putting towards providing for her family. Recall on Day 3 the verses talked about how she sought out the wool and flax. Now, 6 verses later, she is using that wool and flax to spin it into yarn. Why mention it now, why not mention it 6 verses ago? I believe this is a sign of her time management. Think about it. We have so many tasks that must be completed daily, weekly, monthly, and as needed. We cannot always drop everything to fully complete some tasks. We would need a whole day! What I glean from this separation is that she monitors all her tasks by completing them a little each day. Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. -Ephesians 5:15-16 I know that if I devote an entire day to working on a blog post, it takes much longer for me to catch up on all the dishes that pile up and various other household duties. For me personally, I also know that I spend a lot of time unfocused. If I don t take breaks, I gradually decrease my productivity levels over time. By breaking up larger projects into smaller tasks and completing other smaller tasks in between, I find it less overwhelming. The house is well-maintained, and the projects got done. Cutting Costs I want to bring to your attention again how much work it is to spin your own yarn. In these times of electricity, factories, and appliances all geared towards convenience it is difficult to imagine. Even so, I am pretty sure there still would have been others she could either hire to do it for her (remember the maidens?) or buy from a merchant. Perhaps she didn t do that to save her family money. Think of how that process would go today. The farm raises the sheep for the wool. They sell (for a profit) to Factory A that makes yarn or thread. The factory then sells (for a profit) to Factory B to weave the fabric. Factory B sells the fabric (for a profit) to Factory C, who makes the dress. Factory C will sell (for a profit) to a retailer, who sells (for a profit) to you. By spinning your own yarn, she is cutting out three factories and a retailer. I d say that s cheaper! Just to recap, from this verse we have learned that she divvied up her tasks for more effective time management. Also, by starting from scratch and doing the labor herself, she is saving her family a chunk of money. To think I always glanced over this verse because I didn t know what a distaff was

12 Day 9 She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy. -Proverbs 31:20 It is obvious from this verse that an excellent wife is generous and charitable to the less fortunate. Many (myself included) would think that s all there is to it and keep reading. There is something deeper that I want to bring into the light first. The Hebrew word for reaches out in the second verse can mean to reach forth or to stretch out. She was giving above and beyond the immediate needs on the surface. For example, instead of waiting for the church to say they are doing a clothing drive for the local shelter, she would take the initiative to go through her clothes and donate them without anyone asking her too. This can be done in little ways as well as big ways. I have brought in old headphones for students who can t afford them. My husband and I have opened our home to a coworker who was staying in another less-than-desirable environment. Neither of things was asked of us, but we saw a need we could fill so we did. The key thing to remember about being generous is that is should never be for show. But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you. -Matthew 6:3-4 We who are strong have an obligation to bear with the failings of the weak, and not to please ourselves. Let each of us please his neighbor for his good, to build him up. -Romans 15:1-2 Reflection Questions 1. Are there products in your home that you could save money on by making yourself? 2. Do you manage your time wisely? Consider how much time you spend in between tasks. Is there a more productive way to fill that time? 3. What are some ways that you give to the less fortunate? Are there needs that you can think of right now that you could help with? 4. Examine your heart. When you give, are you doing it in the open for your own selfish reasons?

13 Day 10 She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household are clothed in scarlet. She makes bed coverings for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple. -Proverbs 31:21-22 Let me start off today with stating some of the obvious facts. Mothers want nothing more than for their families to be well cared for and all their needs met. In the ESV translation, the word scarlet has a footnote that indicates it could also be written as in double thickness. Regardless of color, this family is well prepared to remain comfortable as the colder weather moves in. The specific colors in this verse signify status and wealth. With today s technology, color isn t as important. The equivalent these days would likely be brands. She is able to clothe her family in the better, higher quality brands. I don t know about you, but I simply cannot afford to buy all my clothes for top dollar. My husband and I are HUGE fans of being frugal. Not to mention, in previous verses we saw how she went out of her way to cut costs for her family. I highly doubt now she would throw all of that out the window. This is where the phrase she makes bed coverings for herself comes in to play. She may have bought the higher quality (and therefore more expensive) linens, but she still saved a little by making it herself. My mother used to make all my clothes when I was a child to save money, but since then things have changed. I would consider the equivalent being shopping at TJ Maxx or Ross instead of paying full price. I promise I m not just saying that because I LOVE those stores, I do in fact believe that. A gracious woman gets honor, and violent men get riches. -Proverbs 11:16 I find this verse quite comforting. Here honor is portrayed as a much worthier pursuit than riches. Throughout the entire bible we come across passages that indicate good character in general is far more valuable than material wealth. Applying this concept to the topic of the day, I firmly believe that a wife who meets the need of those in her household is honorable (even if she got them half off at TJ Maxx). A wife who is always decked out in the most expensive clothing just for the sake of flaunting her wealth is less respected. In short, half price (or homemade) for comfort and contentment is far better than full price for status.

14 Day 11 Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land. -Proverbs 31: 23 Diving into this one, the first thing I want to point out is that obviously not every woman can marry someone who is among the elders of the land. However, there are two major concepts this verse speaks to me that I wanted to share. Respect When considering what makes a person an elder or governing authority of the land, the first thing that comes to mind is that they are a respected member of the community. In order to earn respect, you need to show respect. It is also worth noting that all people from all walks of life deserve ought to be respected. This includes (but is not limited to): family, friends, authority figures, strangers, wealthy, poor, and those in lesser positions. For example, a man who is always selling himself to stay on the good side of the boss but then treats the custodian like garbage is not likely a respected man in the community. There are also men who are the epitome of a respectful citizen at work, but then at home they are less than kind and loving towards their families. I realize it might seem odd that I m talking so much about how the husband should act in reference to a passage about how wives should act, but the next passage should explain why. The Head (and Neck) of the Household My pastor has said on numerous occasions that the husband is the head of the household, but the wife is the neck that turns the head. Ladies, we have more influence than we will likely ever know over our husbands. It is our duty to use this power wisely and not take advantage of it. Knowing that, this verse that talks about the status of the husband is also revealing our behind-the-scenes work. We are called to help our husbands to be a respected member of the community. This can be done in many ways. It is necessary to be respected ourselves, although perhaps we might use other methods than our husbands. While he may earn respect by helping an injured neighbor with some needed handiwork, we can provide food and domestic skills. Men might be better at getting a good laugh in a time of sorrow, but we women might be better at giving an encouraging word in a soft voice. One way my husband and I help each other is that I am not good at social cues and he is not always in tune to the emotions of women. He will give me discreet and subtle guidance when I m out of my social comfort zone, and I help him understand how some things might affect a female differently than a male. I could give many examples of each, but the point here is that we wives play a crucial role in our husband s social lives. I have helped my husband avoid or change the outcome of many situations and I am told all the time by men and women both that I am married to a wonderful man. Ladies, use your influence wisely. Likewise, wives e subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct. -1 Peter 3:1-2

15 Day 12 She makes linen garments and sells them; she delivers sashes to the merchant. -Proverbs 31:24 This verse can be taken quite literally, or we can delve a little deeper and pull out the concepts that remain the same across time and culture changes. Both are beneficial to us. Taken literally, this verse tells us how she is using the skills she already has as a homemaker to contribute to her family. Now, I realize that not everyone is skilled in sewing garments, and this is where we get into the deeper concepts. Not every woman will have the same set of skills. God has given us a unique set of skills because those are the skills he wants us to use. That might be sewing, that might be evangelism, that might be helping people get out of debt. I believe this verse is telling us to use our skills to help our families. I m not necessarily saying this means you must work or run a business. Talk to your husband and discuss how you are best able to help him. What my husband needs may be different from what your husband needs. The main goal here is to serve our families. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. -Ephesians 5:24 Marriage is designed to model the relationship between the church and Jesus Christ. With that in mind, are we to do whatever we want, and hope Jesus is okay with it? Or are we supposed to serve our Lord and seek only to please and glorify Him? As wives, we are called to serve our husbands and seek to please them. Reflection Questions 1. Consider your purchases in the last month. Did you pay more attention to comfort for your family or the status it would bring you? 2. In what ways do you influence your husband? Do you help him or hinder him? 3. How do you use your skills to contribute to your family? Is there another way that would be more beneficial?

16 Day 13 Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. -Proverbs 31:25-26 The beauty of these verses is the reason why they are so often quoted. Much is said about this woman s character here. Another reason for their popularity is that they apply to all women of all ages and situations. No female can feel as if there is no application to her. Strength and Dignity Are Her Clothing On the first day of this devotion it was discussed that a woman s character is more important than any material wealth. This first phrase aligns beautifully with that perspective. Clothing herself was also mentioned on Day 6 (verse 17), but now we add in dignity. The definition of dignity (according to Google) is the state or quality of being worthy of honor or respect. I must reiterate here that she is choosing to clothe herself with these things. She is intentional about how she acts, what she says, and the nature of her thoughts. It will not always come naturally, and some situations will require more effort than others. The best way to train yourself in this manner is to spend time in the Word and in prayer. Give yourself to the Lord, let Him work in your heart, and these things will follow. For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. -Matthew 12:34 Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life. -Proverbs 4:23 She Laughs at the Time to Come This could be interpreted in two ways: she is prepared, and she trusts in the Lord. Both are important, though if choosing between the two then the latter is undoubtedly the way to go. The verses from Day 10 (v. 21 and 22) spoke of how prepared she was for cold weather, but there are other hardships to be endured. Trials can include financial, emotional, physical, and environmental (just to name a few). Having faith in the Lord, however means she and her household will be provided for, loved, and have a peace that transcends all understanding. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. -Philippians 4:6-7

17 Wisdom and Kindness There are so many verses I could mention here, and not even say anything else at all! The first 9 chapters of the Book of Proverbs all talk about wisdom. The entire book is full of warnings and teachings regarding the power of the tongue. It is near impossible to tame, yet it is one of our greatest weapons. Take my instruction instead of silver, and knowledge rather than choice gold, for wisdom is better than jewels, and all that you may desire cannot compare with her. -Proverbs 8:10-11 The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life, but the mouth of the wicked conceals violence. -Proverbs 10:11 One thing about wisdom that I often forget is that sometimes wisdom is silence. We don t always need to talk, sometimes it is better to simply listen. I had not figured this out until after college. Up until then I wanted so badly to fit in with everyone, so I would constantly be joining into conversations uninvited, trying to start conversations without having anything to say, etc. In short, it never worked. I don t mean to imply you should never od those things, but it shouldn t be as much of a habit as it once was for me. When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent. -Proverbs 10:19 Something else to look out for is gossiping. I used to struggle with this as well. Yet, we are told time and again not to do it. In today s society it has become so ingrained that often I don t even realize I m doing it! Of course, a big help to eliminating gossip is to practice silence as we previously discussed. Whoever belittles his neighbor lacks sense, but a man of understanding remains silent. -Proverbs 11:12

18 Day 14 She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. -Proverbs 31:27 As good as this sounds when I read it, I must admit it s one of the hardest for me to implement. I will do one task, whether it s emptying the dishwasher or starting a load of laundry and then all I want is to veg out on the couch and spend the day surfing Pinterest. Truthfully, I had to make myself a schedule just to get my butt in gear and write this bible study! Starting projects has never been difficult for me but finishing them takes a lot of pep talks on my part. Occasionally I have to involve my husband to keep me going. Thankfully, I know what it looks like in real life when a wife is not lazy in terms of housekeeping. My mother is always doing something around the house. If she needs to rest, she might sit down but she also uses that time to make (business) phone calls and check her Air BnB stuff online. I think it important to rest because burnout doesn t do anybody any good, but a healthy balance is crucial. If you have issues with this as I do, find something that helps keep you going. Some people like to listen to music, some like to have the TV on in the background. I personally do well when I have my day scheduled out (especially if I get behind schedule) and have recently begun listening to podcasts. If it helps keep you motivated, go for it! Bible Verses to Remember A slack hand causes poverty, but the hand of the diligent makes rich. -Proverbs 10:4 The soul of the sluggard craves and gets nothing, while the soul of the diligent is richly supplied. -Proverbs 13:4 Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, -Colossians 3:23 But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. -1 Timothy 5:8

19 Day 15 Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all. -Proverbs 31:28-29 I ve always been a little cautious around this verse. I couldn t figure out how every wife was supposed to be the best wife. That s such a contradictory notion! Not to mention, I am far from being Wonder Woman. I was overwhelmed simply having one job and a husband with no pets or children. How am I supposed to be like all these women that do a million different things on top of a full house? It s not exactly encouraging. Then (just this morning) I noticed something I hadn t taken into account before. This verse doesn t say that the whole town said she was the best, just her husband. Her children called her blessed, not all the kids at Chuck E Cheese. As is my usual habit when something stands out to me, I ask why is this important? God is good and always provides an answer. Know Who You are Called to Serve You don t have to be the best to everyone. You aren t married to everyone and not all the children are yours. By serving her family wholeheartedly, she was the best wife and mother for them. Ladies, this is huge. God is not asking you to compare yourselves to anyone else. All He wants you to do is serve your household. Only let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him, and to which God has called him. -1 Corinthians 7:17 God has not called us to the lives of the other woman you think you need to be like. He has called them to that life. You are the living the life He has called you too. Now He is asking you to live it well, and according to His will. The Bible tells us to be content with our situations. This includes the family God has placed us in. Now there is great gain in godliness with contentment, -1 Timothy 6:6 He knows all things and works all things for our good (Romans 8:28). There is a reason He has you where you are. Trust in that and strive to serve your family with all your heart, as the Church is called to serve Christ.

20 Day 16 Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. -Proverbs 31:30 It makes sense that this passage would end by reiterating the concept it began with: the heart is the most important part of an excellent wife. Physical appearance will fade with time, but life with our Lord Jesus Christ is eternal. Do not let your adorning be external the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God s sight is very precious. -1 Peter 3:3-4 A woman s character is treasured far more than her material wealth. I won t lie, I do love shopping and the thrill of bringing home new things. Yet, my devotions and prayer time hold a much dearer spot in my heart than shopping ever could. I yearn for the poetic beauty of the Psalms, the plot twists of the Old Testament stories, and the instruction in Paul s letters. As I read, I feel myself shedding layers of the world and finding peace and rest in the One True King. Practical Application I am reminded of the story of Mary and Martha, found in Luke 10. Martha was concerned with serving and making everything perfect for Jesus while Mary sat at his feet. Martha was upset that she wasn t helping, yet Jesus told Martha that Mary had the good portion, which will not be taken away from her (v. 42). Jesus was reminding her that while it is noble to serve (and serve well), it is necessary to spend time with the Lord. Without the Lord, we will not be able to serve others as we ought. When my husband first came home from deployment I was so excited to be the wife I d waited 9 months to be. I made gourmet meals every night for dinner (and the huge messes that came with them). I had a daily cleaning schedule so I would be able to spend my weekends with him. At first, I was ecstatic to finally have someone to cook and clean for, but within a month I found myself dreading dinner time. I was so exhausted and burnt out. It took desperate prayers and some help from my husband to help me find joy in serving again. These days crockpots and leftovers are my best friend. We have added devotions to dinner time and we have never been closer or happier. Trust me, making time for God is the most important ingredient to having a heart of servitude.

21 Day 17 Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates. -Proverbs 31:31 There are many things that could be said of this verse, but there s only one topic I want to focus on: self-promotion. Notice how it was her works that praised her. She does not praise or promote herself. Her character, deeds, and work all speak for themselves. She does not seek attention for herself. One of my biggest tips for this is to really focus on serving that person or client (whether it s personal or for business). For example, my food has a reputation with my husband s unit (and even some other units in the building). I have never once said anything to them about telling others about my food. Instead, when someone comes to my house I make sure I learn what types of meals they like, how concerned they are with being healthy, and their favorite dessert. Since it s military, a lot of them are health-conscious. As a result, I try to make their dessert as guilt-free as possible. Also, any time one of them come to the house, I make it extremely clear that I want nothing more than to serve them. Don t try to bring them to you. Instead, give of yourself to them. Reflection Questions 1. Are you intentional about your thoughts, actions, and words? What are some ways that you could help train yourself to be godlier in these areas? 2. Being honest with yourself, do you trust God completely or do you worry about the future? 3. Consider your normal daily routine. Would an outside observer think you are lazy? What are some ways that help motivate you to keep working? 4. Do you compare yourself to other women and strive to be like them? Brainstorm three ways that you serve your household that are unique to your family. 5. Do you make time to spend with God each day? Does this time take priority over your other daily tasks? 6. How often do you find yourself in a self-promoting act or conversation?

22 Day 18 A Woman of Noble Character Well ladies, we have made it this far! You might be wondering what the last four days will consist of since yesterday we talked about the last verse in the passage. You may have noticed that this passage is not exactly organized. Some pieces that seem to belong together are dispersed throughout. For these remaining days I want to organize everything into categories and analyze them as groups. To kick this off, I want to first talk about the verses that specifically refer to an excellent wife s character. Fruit of the Spirit But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. Reading through this passage as a whole, I find each one of these qualities showing up, often more than once: -Galatians 5:22-23 Love: verse 12 (she does him good, not harm); verse 15 (she gets up early to prepare food for the day); verse 20 (generous to the poor) Joy: verse 13 (works with willing hands); verse 25 (laughs at time to come) Peace: verse 18 (perceives her merchandise is profitable); verse 21 (not afraid for her household); verse 25 (laughs at time to come) Patience: verse 13 and 16 (works with her own hands to produce results); verse 14 (brings food from afar); verse 18 (lamp burns into night); Kindness: verse 15 (provides food for her household and maidens); verse 20 (gives to needy); verse 26 (teaching of kindness) Goodness: verse 12 (does good, not harm); verse 29 (you surpass them all) Faithfulness: verse 11 (husband trusts her) Gentleness: verse 26 (teaching of kindness) Self-Control: verse 17 (dresses with strength, makes arms strong); verse 25 (strength and dignity are her clothing) The only way to possess all these qualities is through Jesus Christ, that He sends the Holy Spirit to us to guide us. If we try on our own, we will fail miserably. I believe verse 30 sums it up beautifully: Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

23 Day 19 One who is slack in his work is brother to one who destroys. -Proverbs 18:9 I don t know about you, but I LOVE a good afternoon nap. Now that I m not working, and we are winding down for our move in a few weeks (Hawaii!), I have been able to take one almost every day. It is a beautiful thing. Between naps and Pinterest, I could easily waste away the whole day. While it is good to rest, as even the Lord rested on the seventh day (Genesis 2:2), it is not good to be lazy. The hand of the diligent will rule, while the slothful will be put to forced labor. -Proverbs 12:24 Of all the characteristics of the excellent wife, laziness is not one of them. She gets up early (v. 15) and continues working into the night by lamplight (v. 18). Now I have a relatively small apartment, no pets, no children, and the benefits of electricity and indoor plumbing. Somehow, I still manage to find things to keep myself busy all day every day. Imagine how much longer each of our daily tasks would have been in the times of King Lemuel! Just from this passage we can see that she spins her own yarn (v. 19), sews her own garments and bed coverings (v. 22 and 24), plants a vineyard (v. 16), and cooks (v. 15). Just thinking about all that makes me tired! Clearly, she does not have any issues with laziness. Now we command you, brothers, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ that you keep away from any brother who is walking in idleness and not in accord with the tradition that you received from us. -2 Thessalonians 3:6 It is wise to be cautious of this though. This can easily be turned into too much work, leading to burnout. Work should not be an idol. It is important to find a healthy balance. You know yourselves best. Take precautions to prevent yourself from taking it too far. I realize some seasons in life will be busier than others (a mom of 5 kids all in various sports vs. me with no pets, children, or job). The most important thing you can do is to keep God at the center of your life. Lean on Him, surrender your life to Him. He will give your soul rest and your body strength to help you carry out His will.

24 Day 20 All hard work brings a profit, but mere talk leads only to poverty. -Proverbs 14:23 I wanted to dedicate an entire day to talk about the business practices of the Proverbs 31 wife. This is such a controversial and frequently discussed topic. I myself have read countless posts from Pinterest on the Bible s take on women working. The female-empowerment side of society says that a woman is wasting her life if she does not have a thriving career outside of the home. The self-empowerment side says do what you want, regardless of what your family or God think. In all my reading, praying, and studying of the Word I have concluded that God says to serve your family, however that looks (in accordance to His Will). As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God s varied grace. -1 Peter 4:10 If your family is struggling financially, then perhaps working to bring in extra income is the best way for you to serve them. If (like my husband and I) you can comfortably live off your husband s income, and he prefers the freedom of leaving household tasks to you, then you might consider staying at home to do that for him. Or, perhaps you bring home the bacon and your husband stays at home! However you can best serve your family, that is what you should do. Good Business Now that that s out of the way, I also wanted to mention a few key principles we can learn from how the Proverbs 31 wife conducts her business. 1. She gives it careful consideration before she begins. In verse 16, it doesn t just say she bought a field and planted a vineyard. Instead, it points out that she considered the field before she bought it. I don t plan on buying any fields, but last year I considered becoming a seller on Teachers Pay Teacher. I researched, prayed, and gave it great thought before deciding. 2. She uses the skills she already possesses. The two things it mentions she used for business come from gardening skills (v. 16) and sewing skills (v 24). Those were common skills for a woman to have at that time. To use the Teachers Pay Teachers example again, I chose that because I was a teacher and already made lesson plans and activities. I didn t go and try to learn to code (which I m terrible at) in the hopes of creating a best-selling app. 3. She saves costs when she can. She planted that vineyard from verse 16 with the fruit of her own hands. I m sure she could have hired some workers to do that for her, but instead she found a more cost-effective route. Similarly, I could pay hundreds of dollars for awesome programs to make my TpT stuff, but instead I stick with Publisher which my husband gets for free through his school. 4. She only continues if it s profitable. When it says in verse 18 that she perceives that her merchandise is profitable it indicates to me that she does not waste time, money, or effort on business ventures that are not beneficial. Some things are trial and error, but don t keep putting something into it if you aren t getting anything out of it. Even if you are a stay-at-home, these concepts can still apply. Chances are, you do most of the grocery shopping and decorating. Use these principles as a guide to save your family time, money, and heartache.